I may have inadvertently fucked myself without any knowledge, and I don't know if I can fix it or if they will fix it.

A little background: I was referred to NCTH in December 2022. I have the letter and all to prove said referral. Yet, as I see it on their website, they are accepting those referred from June 2023. Now I always assumed, because of their addendum, that you may not have received an invitation soon. That they still hadn't made it to me.

Then I saw the post today about the projected 8-year-long wait to be seen for a first appointment, and it spurred me on to actually see what was going on. So I wrote an email to their referral address saying I never received any invitation, that, as far as I knew, my details were accurate, and asked if I was still on their waiting list.

I also thought maybe the NHS app had details of this mysterious invitation, because as far as I could see in my personal email, nobody related to NCTH ever contacted me at any point.

I've never used the NHS app before, as I lacked the ID to verify it previously, but what I saw annoyed me greatly. A document dated March 2025 stated I had been contacted to opt in for an appointment, but because I never responded to them within four weeks, I was formally discharged back to my GP.

But here's the thing: I was still never sent said opt-in letter. You'd think it should have been on my account, but it wasn't. Only the discharge letter and referral letter are present. So I checked the details attached to my account. Even if they never sent a letter to my account, why did I never receive an email or a phone call?

That's because the number and email address on my account were attached to my mother.

This is important because my mum is dead and has been dead for two years and nine months. She was very supportive of my transition and personally went out of her way to get me a phone call with my GP so I could be referred, as I was still a minor at the time. During said call, I was adamant that I must have given my personal email and phone number for my account.

But that must not have been the case, and I've been operating under that assumption for four years.

For as much as I could have checked with the GIC during that time, and I'm annoyed with myself I didn't. If my mum was still alive, I would have been seen over a year ago, and I wouldn't be writing this. I don't think it's fair that, because I was referred to as a minor, my details were naturally those of my parent rather than myself, and that I pay for that because of bereavement. Frankly, it took me a long time to deal with her passing, and being reminded of it like this pisses me off to no end.

As for that letter, I received no such thing, as I said. It would be remiss of me at this point not to mention my father, who, unlike my mother, does not support my transition. Even if I am to give them the grace and say they did send a letter to my address for an opt-in (btw, before anyone asks, no, I did not move; if there's anything correct about my details, it's where I live) who's to say he couldn't have read my letter and thrown it away without telling me? Do they think the big fuck off 'confidential' watermark is going to stop a transphobic parent? Out of the tens of thousands that have been through this process, surely that isn't an uncommon occurrence.

With all that being said, I know what the response will be now: "You were discharged from the waiting list; we did send you an opt-in invitation, and your email is not the same as the one attached to your referral."

But my question now is this? How fucked am I? Do I stand any chance of being reinstated with my original referral taken into account? I have every intention of fighting this, but I want feedback as to how I should.

Being serviced by the GIC is luckily not the be-all and end-all for me; I've been DIYing since October 2023. I'm not being withheld from access to e and am perfectly capable of continuing my own treatment. But I was always interested in having an actual prescription, the GRC, hair removal, and, most importantly, the GD diagnosis. If they will not honor my previous time and demand that I re-refer myself with my time starting now. I have zero interest in going through this process again; I am not waiting until I'm 29 to be seen to begin with. They can go fuck themselves, and I will continue as I am now. But I hope something can be reached. As the fact remains, I never got that letter; it's not on my account, and my details were those of my deceased mother. If they want the referral documents, I have them; if they want to see her death certificate, I have that too.

Sorry that this is quite a long read; if you have any advice, anecdotes of similar experiences, or simply a show of support. All is greatly appreciated.

Pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but just in case you were craving some “cis allies don’t actually care about us, they just care about being performative” ragebait this afternoon, here’s some on the house!

Much of the TERF rhetoric seems to portray cisgender women as inherently vulnerable and in need of protection from everyone except children and other cisgender women.

We see this in debates about women's sports, including chess and darts, where trans women's participation is often treated as inherently unfair. Yet trans women have competed in physical sports for years without the widespread domination that is so frequently predicted. Laurel Hubbard failed to record a successful lift at the Tokyo Olympics, while transgender MMA fighter Fallon Fox was defeated by cisgender opponent Ashlee Evans-Smith. Where are the examples of women's sports being dominated by women who are trans?

What troubles me is how closely this rhetoric resembles arguments historically used to restrict women's opportunities. Women were supposedly too delicate, physically incapable or vulnerable to participate equally in education, employment, politics and public life. Their exclusion was frequently justified as being for their own protection.

There's a recognised psychological phenomenon called benevolent sexism, where ostensibly positive attitudes towards women, particularly the belief that they require protection, reinforce traditional gender hierarchies and assumptions of female inferiority.

I wonder whether we're witnessing a modern version of this, but this time presented as a form of feminism.

I'm also concerned about the increasing emphasis on rigid gender segregation, as though men and women generally are fundamentally incompatible and must be kept apart.

Historically, feminism fought against precisely these assumptions. Women challenged their exclusion from male-dominated professions, educational institutions and public spaces, rejecting the notion that sex should determine their opportunities or capabilities. Yet some contemporary gender-critical arguments appear to revive the idea that separation is necessary because of women's inherent vulnerability.

And what effect might these messages have on the next generation?

If young girls continually hear that women are naturally weaker and less capable, could that undermine their confidence, ambitions and willingness to challenge traditional gender roles?

Equally importantly, what are young boys learning? If they're repeatedly told that girls and women cannot compete fairly without protection, could this encourage a sense of innate male superiority? Might it reinforce the condescension, entitlement and everyday misogyny that feminism has spent generations challenging?

Women have spent decades raising the profile of women's sports, but why would boys and men take interest in women's sports if they are continually being told they are inferior? How will young girls feel about their own abilities if they hear in the news that they aren't even good enough to play chess with anyone that isn't a cisgender girl?

These attitudes don't necessarily remain confined to sporting debates. They could influence how women are perceived in workplaces, leadership, education and everyday relationships.

My concern is that a movement claiming to defend women's equality may, through some of its rhetoric, be legitimising the very stereotypes that historically justified women's exclusion and subordination.

Could the long-term consequences of this rhetoric extend far beyond trans rights, ultimately reinforcing misogyny towards all women - not just women who are trans?

If you're referred to a GIC, this is how long you'd be waiting for a first appointment...

Belfast - 9 years 5 months

Edinburgh - 2 years 5 months

Exeter - 20 years 11 months

Glasgow - 155 years 2 months

Grampian (Aberdeen) - 5 years

Highlands - 2 months

Leeds - 19 years 8 months

London/Tavistock - 15 years 7 months

London Trans+ - 10 months

Manchester Indigo - 2 years 7 months

Newcastle - 8 years 4 months

Northants - 18 years 7 months

Nottingham - 8 years 3 months

Sheffield - 4 years 11 months

Transcend Merseyside (Liverpool) - 8 months

Wales - No data

Dashboards and data can be found under here: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthetrans.com/post/3myrarkxmus25

My son has always been open about his bisexuality, but has been in a relationship with a female for the last 11 years. It has recently broken down and a week ago I noticed he was wearing eye make up and painted his nails. I commented on his new look and he said he was experimenting. Three days later he came round to my house with a full face of make-up and bow in his hair. I commented on his appearance in a nonjudgemental way and he told me that he had been dressing as a woman in the privacy of his own home since splitting up with his partner. I was open and told him I would support him in anyway I could as he navigated his new normal. He showed me photos of him how he dresses at home I expected pink pyjamas and slippers, but the photos he showed me consisted of high heels, false boobs , Skirts and crop tops. I didn’t react, remained calm and supportive, expressed how proud I was of him having the courage to be who he wanted to be but reminded him that he might have had these feelings for awhile but he needed to appreciate that it was incredibly New for me his brother and stepfather so would appreciate if he gave us time to get our head around what was happening. I feel completely out of my depth last Monday. My son had make-up on and today he came round to visit with his brunette locks bleached blonde flicking them around like he was in a shampoo advert, wearing heavy make-up a crop top ripped jeans showing his fish net stockings underneath. When he told me a week ago, he said it was something that he was doing privately at home but in the space of a week he has become quite open in his dress. Not just his appearance has changed but his voice demeanour and gestures after 11 years in a relationship with a female since separating. He is exploring hook ups with males and being very open about what he is doing I am not judging and being incredibly supportive, well, I hope I am! But as his mum, I am worried that he is throwing himself into his New life taking risks and I have to be honest being quite selfish! I have tried to explain to him that he may have had these feelings for sometime that he was keeping in check as he was loyal to his partner, but he needed to understand that it is all very new to me his younger brother and stepfather. So we would appreciate some time to get our head around, navigating his new normal. But it feels he has completely disregarded how we are feeling. I feel completely overwhelmed. I haven’t had the opportunity to get my head around losing the son . I have known for 32 years and I have no idea how to support him effectively, his brother who is really struggling, his stepdad who doesn’t even know what to say to him as it is so far removed from anything he knows or understands, or look after myself in order to be the best mum I can be to him as he transitions into his new life! Has anybody else experienced anything like this and can give me some advice as I am really struggling?

I've got an interview this week to become a substitute teacher, and I've also applied for some teaching assistant jobs. I'm nonbinary and queer and I absolutely do not want to have to lie about myself or my identity to the children I'll be working with. But I'm also scared that if I tell any of them that I'm queer and nonbinary it might cause trouble (e.g. if they go home and tell their parents, there might be complaints).

I did placements in schools years ago and kids would ask if I'm a girl or a boy, or if I'm married, and so on. Hence why I'm suddenly over-thinking how to answer such questions if/when I get a job in a school.

If anyone asks if I'm a girl or a boy, I'd rather say "neither" but then there might be follow up questions. And same for my sexuality - if they ask if I'm married I'll be honest and say I'm engaged, but if they ask follow up questions that make assumptions about my sexuality, I won't lie and pretend to be in a "straight" relationship when I'm not.

So, does anyone have any advice on how to handle these kinds of questions from children? In a way that lets me be true to myself but doesn't end with kids going home and telling their parents that they have a nonbinary teacher? Because let's be honest, in this climate, I can't see that going down very well.

But also if there are queer kids in the school I want them to know that they have someone safe to talk to about it. Idk it's a difficult one. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

i'm an A-level student in london and i switched my gic to Notts around 2 years ago. I've stupidly just found out that if I move to glasgow for Medicine, i'll have to forfeit my place in the queue for Notts and will be forced to refer myself to the glasgow GIC, which as we all know have a laughably long wait time. all other scottish GICs are available to locals only

Not too sure what to do here. I know I should be smart about this but what do GIC's even do anyway? i'm already on diy, and my dysphoria is so bad that i'd probably have saved enough to have done both top surgery and srs abroad by the time referrals rolled around. Judging by what i've read here, i've calculated that i'll be in my 40s by the time I can book the 1st stage of phallo. Phallo isn't even being offered here anymore right? feel like GICs do nothing nowadays other than give you a paper saying you're trans. Glasgow university is my 1st choice. On the bright side med school is competitive enough that I may not even be invited to interview at UOG in the first place.

I can't afford not to apply for jobs that would suit me at the moment (like this one) as I am on UC and being threatened with sanctions if I don't.

The role doesn't have a gender requirement either btw, this seems really bizarre but it's for a well-known public infrastructure project.

Thought I’d put a PSA out here to other trans people on reddit, I’ve just seen this ad pop up on my feed. For those that don’t know genspect is an anti trans hate group that oppose medical and social transition. Looks like they’ve figured out how to target trans people specifically with ads which is pretty gross. If you see this ad or one like it don’t click on it or join any of their meetings as I’d put cold hard cash on it being thinly veiled conversion therapy. I’m pretty sure these ads are also a violation of reddit’s own ad policies so report them if you see it.

You couldn't make it up.

My egg cracked in 2020, I came out in 2022 , and I now have a new birth certificate that says I was born female.

Not bad, considering that I am now a 46 year old woman!

I fought for 1/7th of my life for this!

Hold on... quick question... you know when the FARTs* say that I have to go into the bathroom that aligns room my birth sex... does that mean that I am now OBLIGATED to go into to the women's room, because my Sex at birth is now verified as female?

(*Feminist Appropriating Radical Transphobes, before you ask. If they were ACTUAL feminists, they wouldn't be transphobic, and working for the patriarchy.)

So... Yeah. That's me. I'm just a middle aged woman.

Questions, and hugs, ALWAYS welcomed.

i recently brought my unenrolled deed poll to my gp to change my name, they seemed fine with it but now (about a week later) they contacted my mum to tell her that they can't accept it and they need a "proper" deed poll or something to do with a solicitor? my school (after a lot of fannying about getting them to consult their legal team) accepted it and my bank as well. how can i get them to accept it? i've done everything right and it is legally valid, but i'm scared of confrontation and people constantly don't take me seriously because of my age. what do i do? i'm in wales if that matters.

Hello, I have received my first gender appointment with the NHS and I have some questions:

1) I already have a private diagnosis and have a shared care agreement between my GP and my private clinic. I’ve been on HRT (testosterone) for a little over 3 years. Does this make any difference

2) I have a concert that starts at 8 how long will the video call take?

Thank you!

Ive added photos for reference, but they go from the bottom of my ears and align with the top of my top lip

Ive had quite a few laser sessions now and im worried that theyre too long and if i should've checked earlier

Thanks in advance!

Bit of a dumb question but how does getting blood tests via GPs actually work? Do I ring up reception and check if it's a service they actually offer first or just make an appointment and ask my GP directly? Should I be using the ask a question thing on the NHS app first? How much detail do I need to go into when explaining what it's for? Do I need to bring a list of what I need checking or will they know? Will they also do height, weight and blood pressure?

This is my first time actually dealing with my GP as an adult and I really don't know how to go about it :/

It's the podcast about NHS gender clinic waiting lists

I've been referred to Tavistock about 4-5 years ago and just saw on another post the waitlist is 15+ years. Is there a way to get transferred to TransPlus without being put at the bottom of the wait list?

Edit: also how does this work with the new centralised waitlist?

Hello!

I had my recommended surgery consult with Indigo a couple of weeks ago. My referral was forwarded to the GNRSS last Monday. Last Tuesday, they confirmed the acknowledgement of my referral, going to North Manchester Hospital (Trafford General).

Today I received a phone call in which I was booked in for a video consultation next Tuesday, with Trafford General.

I'm shook, so happy, feeling a rush of excitement and positive emotions. And have cried. Still cannot believe it!

I realise what the general outlook is - to show my chest, explain what I would like to get out of the surgery, my expectations and keeping things realistic (I've lost a lot of weight, 20KG, now 85KG, but still probably could lose more).

I'm under the NHS.

How long did people generally wait from this stage, to surgery?

Many thanks! 🩵

Just started DIY hormones after being left high and dry by the NHS and the gender clinic I was using but now am worrying about fertility preservation. it really fills like I’ve had to make the choice between my mental health and having children in the future and it’s kind of getting me down. I’m happy I started HRT but having to go for the underground option just feels like I was let down and had to go for the most drastic option.

Just wondering if it’s best to keep going with DIY or find another clinic and start again.

I received a text today that said it was an "important text from the Gynaecology Service department" at a local hospital. Apparently I'm on a "waiting list for an outpatient appointment", and I need to give them some details by clicking a link.

I have received one text from this number 2 years ago thanking me for calling 111.

I have no idea what this referral is for. I didn't ask for one, tho I am waiting for my Gender Clinic referral... Given that I haven't had bottom surgery, I can't see that I have much use for a gynaecologist.

Has anyone else experienced this???

I posted before about potentially seeking an alternative. I wound up just booking my check up appointment with them, and they sent me a new list of bloods results they require from me (different from what they asked before). I queried the change and explained that I’m now having to go private for blood tests as my new GP won’t do them, and they came back with their deal with Randox to provide exactky what they need - £190. For reference, I’ve had a few blood tests from Randox in the past year, including for my previous YourGP appointment, none of which cost over £60.

Surely this has to cross the line into unacceptable?

Question is pretty much as the title says! Im with gendergp for my HRT, I went to pick up my pescription after getting a clynxx code but the pharmacy i go to isnt able to order it in as their provider is out of stock too! they normally order it in and i get it within about a week.

I know my pharmacy is not the only one unable to order it rn due to a question i posted in a different sub a few days ago - but asking out of need, how long have previous shortages lasted? should i expect to be waiting months or should it just be a few weeks?

I have about a months medication left but im asking out of the concern that maybe ill be going a while without my T and a wonder of whether i should like try to spread my shots out a little more so i dont get a massive dip or smth like that!

First Estova, now Progynova is gone. I don't think I can afford to spend nearly 3x the price on Estrofem, so I'm really scared.

Luckily I ordered a lot just before this happened, but I'm worried for the future.

I wanted to start injections as I'm coming up on 2 years on HRT, but idk much about it or where I get it. Any help would be really appreciated!