All my life my dad has been this way. He would yell, throw, and break things. Of course growing up with him I've gained the same horrible ways of expressing myself. Its terrible and I hate myself for it. Sometimes it feels like the only way to relieve my anger. I try to calm myself down, but all it does is make things worse. The act of trying to calm myself actively makes me angrier, and I'm worried. I'm angry all the time, I just try to bottle it up until it becomes too much. I have such a hatred for everything. I never asked to be born. I don't want to live in this world. I can't kill myself or it will hurt everyone I care about. I hate it. I feel trapped, like a caged animal.

I'm trying, but I don't know how to approach this. I'm really considering anger management. I don't want to be this way. I'm only twenty, I just want to fix this while I'm young, before I do something I truly regret.

I hate that I’m filled with so much anger but truth is I’m just hurt. My family is the biggest source of anger lots of unresolved trauma and things I won’t get into that in detail. But I just felt like they never listened to me, were the first to blame me for things and I was constantly pushed aside and my feelings were shut down. I’m filled with so much resentment and anytime i get triggered it’s usually only related to trauma it makes me yell and argue and I can’t control it.

recently i had an incredible experience working on a project with some very talented individuals. i feel like i was finally able to mask my lack of productivity and natural professionalism, and actually did a good job. my coworkers have been extremely positive and kind to me, complimenting me on all of my hard work.
today was the last day of our project. we had a party to celebrate at a restaurant. i got drunk there and when the place closed, all of the drunk coworkers walked to a bar nearby.
we were all having fun. playing music on the jukebox, buying drinks for each other. it was a nice night. until i saw this guy. this guy i know is a pedophile.
i see him often, but always from afar. he walks and bikes around my neighborhood and it makes me fucking furious. i see this guy walking out of the bathroom. just walking right by our table. i hadn’t seen him this close before, and i think i had always known what i was going to say to him when i got close enough:
“[full name], kill yourself, you fucking pedophile.”
he walked away, out of the bar.
it just came out of my mouth. and i realized i was standing up, yelling, and my coworkers were seated, asking me what i was doing and repeating “woah.”
one of my friends there agreed with what i was saying, but i immediately felt so much guilt and shame because of the others’ reactions.
it’s certainly not like i’d feel any better if they were all behind me like “yeah, kill yourself, haha!” i just feel disgusted that they had to witness that side of me.
if it was just him and i, i would’ve gone on happily, jeering at him until he was out of sight. but people who respect me learning how much hate i hold in my heart every day makes me want to die.
one of my most understanding coworkers told me that he thought what i did was likely due to unresolved trauma. this made me cry and decide to leave.
i came home and talked to my partner about this while i was drunk, crying over my shame, and when they didn’t say exactly what i wanted to hear, i started to argue with them, and tried to prove how much this made me feel suicidal. this made my partner feel like shit, obviously, and it’s all my fucking fault. now i feel like shit. i just want to die. i wish i was never born. at least now my future is empty.

P.S. i do not plan on harming myself.

I am struggling recently with anger while I’m in pain from my chronic issues with my back. My wife has noticed and mentioned it, I’m shorter with my kids, I don’t like it. I just don’t have the tolerance for children or loud bullshit when my neck and head feel like they’re being separated. I snap everytime. I hate myself for it.

Always had a rage problem especially when playing competitive games. Just this morning I was playing marvel rivals and I was on a heavy losing streak and i lost it, screaming and raging. I did it before but since noone approached me about it I assumed noone heard. I never really had instances of people coming to me about it so I always assumed they didn't hear, or they didn't care. Just this morning someone did, and banging on my door telling me to stfu, angry about it. First time this happened, I'm so embarrassed. I know I have an anger problem but it genuinely gets worse, the more I play something competitive, especially video games. If there is rank involved I get obsessed with it, and it makes me tilt and rage so much if I lose elo or if I derank.

I lose my shit when I hear anyone do that, just makes me want to rage

Asking for my sister. She knows her anger is a problem: small disagreements become long fights, and it's wearing down her marriage and family relationships. She's said she wants to change, but advice from family makes her defensive.

- What got you to actually try therapy?
- Did anything family said or did help, or make it worse?
- Did a particular type of therapy work for you?

I want to support her without pushing her away.

hi, ive been feeling really depressed for years now and ive finally decided to tell people about it ive tried telling my friends but its hard for me too so i never do but main reason im here im getting angry and more hurt my life is good and i dont know why this is happening i have a gf and i have alot of friends but recently my closet friend pointed out my mistakes and what i do wrong and how im a bad person basically he said the reason why you get bullied and had no friends is because you twist peoples words ragebait people on purpose and argue with people to make it so u always win i haven’t heard from him in around 3 months ive been taking alot of time trying to sort myself out ive been really sad and upset because i know hes right and im a fucking loser but thats not the point i was bullied throughout my childhood alot mainly my brother he pushed me down stairs tormented me restlessly and he laughed when bad things happened to me i shrugged it off EVERYTIME because i thought it was normal one day me and my brother were hanging out with a family friend that was younger than us and he started picking on him he encouraged me to join in so i did. It felt good made me feel strong but i knew it was wrong i understood why my brother did it to me i dont do it anymore but for some reason i do it to my friends and i dont know whats wrong with me throughout my childhood i was bullied and i came home crying it got to a point where i broke through my window from pure rage after my brother made fun of me just please anyone give me any advice i know im a loser and need help but im really trying to turn myself around and turn to jesus so please any advice helps.

I get angry and irritated easily, especially with my family, particularly my parents. For about 2-3 years, there’s been a continuous cycle of them scolding me, me always being in a mad mood with them, constantly talking back, and getting mad at them in general. I would behave properly for a week or so and then come back. I truly wanna change but even once i offer a therapist session they move me aside, saying it’s pointless now.

Anything from my parents irritates me for some reason. Whether it’s them looking at me, talking to me, or even just standing there. They threaten to change my schools due to this behavior I have. I’ve genuinely been trying to change but no matter what i somehow always get angry.

I've always wanted to be seen as the calm and chill person but somehow I’m perceived as the opposite: an antisocial person who keeps to herself and an ass person. I’m scared to bring this topic up to anybody at all. I’m afraid to be seen vulnerable and abruptly start crying tears infront of everybody

I wanna try my luck asking them for another therapy / counseling appointment , but i’m scared they’ll say no to that too. How can i get better?

I’m looking for practical advice on dealing with impulsive anger that happens so quickly you react before you’ve had time to think. For example, snapping at someone, raising your voice or responding angrily before you’ve even consciously registered that you’re angry.
Most advice focuses on recognising the anger, taking a breath and choosing how to respond. But what can you do when the reaction happens before you have that opportunity? Can you train yourself to interrupt these automatic responses, or develop different reactions through repeated practice?
I’m looking for specific techniques, psychological research, books or personal experiences that address this particular problem, rather than general advice about mindfulness or taking deep breaths.

I’ll keep going until when every time I get really angry to the point where I’m not myself. Instead of hitting my brother when I was little, I would hit my hand against the wall and break my hand instead of breaking his head. When my wife annoys me, I might smash the door, causing myself to hurt my foot instead of hurting her. I’ll keep going until when I feel out of control; I need to be the one in control. Even with anger that hasn't reached extremes towards anyone dear to me, whether they are younger or older, I still prefer to drink not just to get high, but to reach that feeling of being lost in hell itself. I know and I’m sure I’m wrong, but I’m tired of this and tired of hurting myself, and I want to find practical solutions or viewpoints to enlighten my mind.

Note: I don’t get angry every day; on the contrary, what I'm saying is rare throughout my life, but when rare moments happen, they become an explosion.

I’ve been feeling a lot more irritated lately, i’m not really the type of person who holds onto thingc just preferring to let it go and go on my day and just forget anything that I deem as insulting or problematic, other people don’t really concern me much since they don’t really affect me overall. Lately I’ve been feeling more easily annoyed and angry, and I either wanna lash out and release my pent up emotion or just go quiet and not talk to anyone for the rest of the day, maybe even week or month. I don’t do that though since I’m polite, still, I find ut irritating that people have to give me attitude when I do something and didn’t even ask for their opinion on like cooking my own food, what does my food have to do with you? Are you the one eating? And what else am I suppose to eat? My stomach is already small enough since I only eat twice a day, and I only eat cause I’m suppose to and it’s a necessity, I don’t even have the appetite, or maybe you want me to starve? Or are you going to cook for me?

And why do people have to talk so rudely? Even when I feel irritated or annoyed I at least don’t show it on my face or tone of voice, would it kill you to try to be nice or polite? Why do you have to take out your anger on me? I didn’t even do anything. I wish I didn’t care about hurting others feeling and just go on ahead with getting angry at them, I’m always the one adjusting to others emotions but people don’t even try to make an effort ti do the same with me. If speaking wasn’t such a necessary I’d go ahead and mute myself and just go away, honestly I’d rather just leave than have to deal with any of this.

This genuinely sucks, I don wanna be angry at people, being angry is so tiring, and I’m not that type of person, I guess some people just love being miserable.

Just wanted to let it out before I go crazy, better to do it through text than in person.

I am sleep deprived from my 2 month old so insisted that my husband puts my 3 year old to sleep on his own, my daughter cried and cried for me for straight 1 hour my husband was also enjoying his weekend with a drink today so he was already having lesser control on his emotions plus he was trying hard to put the screaming toddler to sleep with no rescue in sight my mother was just genuinely trying to help so she went in the room to see if she can help and my husband charged on her very aggressively saying she should let him handle this it will be messy once or twice but only then the toddler would know how much ever they try they need to understand when it’s only dad available then It really is just him..

Whatever the intention was I ended up waking up to his screaming loud voice and had to immediately intervene but I am so deeply hurt by his aggressive stance towards my mother who literally has left her personal life and is staying with us for past 3 years to help me with my kids.

Handling a toddler in general is very much testing your mettle and unfortunately husband already has so much aggressive behaviour I have learnt to look past it because of my live for him and there is always a reason when his aggression comes out but now with two kids his aggression is really started to scare me and I am worried for my kids I do not want them to be traumatised by their father. Please suggest genuine resources that me and my husband can use to handle this anger related aggression.

So I’m only 17 an have had it difficult, I moved out last year and have been working a steady full time job making 22hr an room for raises while still taking my ass to online school, I live in my car I turn 18 in may and have a savings ready for a deposit on an apartment an going to open credit cards to build credit with, why does all this make me so fucking mad, I very much believe that if I was pushed slightly the wrong way I would really hurt someone an it happened, I don’t regret it because I gave him plenty of warning to leave me alone and now isn’t the time
I like to think that all of it stimulates from me having to become independent an learn the world on my own last year along with having a very shit childhood trauma an untreated adhd (I was on meds for some time when I was younger last time I recall feeling normal) I can’t get any prescribed medication from a doctor as I’m not 18 an they need a legal parent or guardian the world will not let you live

It has gotten so bad to the point where I cannot leave the house and go out in public without my heart rate going up and my blood pressure going through the roof. People just make me so angry.

I lost my last job because I flew off the handle, and this is how most jobs end for me. It is becoming such a problem to the point where I'm having a hard time getting a new job because of my history.

I have such a hard time keeping it under control. I try taking deep breaths, counting to ten, that kind of stuff but it never works. I just fly off the handle anyways.

I also struggle with my own thoughts making me really angry, and I have a hard time filtering them out.

I feel like almost everyone in my life isn't taking it seriously enough when I reach out for help. They tell me to just grow up or quit acting like a baby. I'm trying so hard but I just can't make this go away

I've tried going to a therapist once and to me it felt no different than just talking to a friend, and it was costing me money. I don't know if maybe I was just seeing a bad therapist? Or if that is typically just how therapy is. If not I'd probably be willing to give therapy another shot.

I really hope this all makes sense to whoever reads this. I don't usually write. I just want to get out of the house and go live a normal life without anger taking complete control of me

So, I've had a pretty big anger problem with anger outbursts when I was in school. Either because I took my failure to do a task too personally, or because the teacher would go off on a political tangent, or just because I had underslept and every noise around me felt twice as annoying. In most cases I managed to endure it, but the few ones I didn't made me want for a better way out.

The common advice would be to take a step back and return with a clearer head. But at least where I studied, going in and out could only be done after raising your hand and getting a permission, and only one person at a time. So there would often be long moments of sitting there and waiting to be relieved, so as to not offend the teacher and potentially make the rest of my time with the subject much worse.

And although I am out of there now, I do still often find myself in situations where I am forced to sit and endure the growing stress. So, are there any good ways to handle such cases? Or is it just a matter of living through something shitty?

I was in a conversation with another redditor, who proceeded to psychoanalyze me and created a narrative of my life in their head which was completely incorrect. This pissed me off to hell and back, so I proceeded to make a fool out of myself insisting over and over again that they were wrong.

In reality, nothing I said could have changed their mind, because they had already decided they were correct. I should have ended the conversation as soon as I realized that, and moved on with my life. Instead, it festered in my mind and I kept embarrassing myself by rejoining the conversation.

Even now, even after a therapy session, I can’t get over the situation and it genuinely feels life-ruining. I don’t know why I’m so weak-minded and can’t move on from people stating things that are obviously false.

I’ve suspected it’s due to OCD, but I deleted my other account and r/OCD doesn’t let new accounts post.

Hey everyone. I am 'M23' and I’m posting because I genuinely want to hear from people who have struggled with similar issues and have made real progress.
I’ve been in a relationship with someone I love deeply, but I’ve developed unhealthy patterns that have hurt her and damaged our relationship. I struggle with insecurity, jealousy, fear of abandonment, overthinking, impatience, and anger. Sometimes, when I feel misunderstood, rejected, or afraid of losing her, I find it difficult to regulate my emotions. I can keep pushing a conversation because I want to be understood, even when my partner is already overwhelmed.
I’ve also crossed a serious line by becoming physically aggressive. Most recently, during an incident where she screamed near my ear and I felt sudden pain, I pushed her. I know that this is serious, and I don’t want to minimise it or use the circumstances as an excuse. Regardless of what triggered me, I am responsible for my behaviour.
We’ve now agreed to take a no-contact break and use this time properly instead of rushing back into the relationship like we did before. I’m also attending therapy and want to take this opportunity to work on myself, regardless of whether we eventually get back together.
My biggest fear is that even if we reconcile, I’ll repeat the same patterns and hurt her again. I don’t want to keep apologising, promising to change, and then falling back into the same behaviour. I want to make lasting changes, not just save my relationship.
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar:
Have you genuinely overcome anger issues, jealousy, insecurity, or fear of abandonment? What changed for you?
What do you actually do in the moment when you feel triggered, rejected, or overwhelmed, so you don’t react impulsively?
How did you learn to stop needing constant reassurance or feeling threatened when your partner wanted space?
Did therapy help you? If so, what approaches or exercises made the biggest difference?
If you previously yelled, acted controlling, or became physically aggressive, what concrete steps helped you stop that behaviour and ensure it didn’t happen again?
How long did it take before you noticed meaningful changes? What helped you stay accountable when progress was slow?
How did you learn to change for yourself rather than making your partner or the possibility of reconciliation your main motivation?
I’m not looking for ways to convince my girlfriend to come back or make her responsible for helping me change. I want to understand what genuine change looks like and learn from people who have done the work themselves.
I’m open to honest answers, including difficult ones. I’d rather hear what genuinely helped than receive empty reassurance.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to share their experience. I really appreciate.

Recently, whenever I get a slight inconvenience I brust in anger, I've been having troubles at work and I can't stand my manager, there was one time I caught him gossiping about me with another colleague, I was a bout to act aggressively, Idk what is happening to me I've always had a bad temper but I was controlling it, now I lose it on slightest things, I've been in stress also for 3 months.

I’ve been going through a really tough time for as long as I can remember. Loneliness, joblessness, poverty, no car, etc. And I usually get really frustrated and angry and unfortunately take it out on my apartment. Now, there’s quite a number of pretty bad damages made, and, being unemployed, I don’t know yet how I’m gonna pay for them, especially when the cost may very well exceed the security deposit. Just really don’t know what to do, and I’m worried. I just really needed to express myself, and I’m in a mess.

My mild symptoms of gastritis weren't recognised. It gave me intense hunger pangs, weight loss and blood sugar issues, nobody recognised it while I even said it felt like a gastric problem.

2 GP and 2 gi replaced their lack of knowledge with gaslighting from hell and an internist ignored my hunger as normal. A dietician adviced me to take MORE acid on an empty stomach before eating, from the first month of my symptoms I was worsened by her indoctrination.

After a year I saw alternative care advising an acidic supplement. I mentioned multiple times not really trusting the advice and her "diagnosis" but she made me believe I could trust her. This quackery eventually damaged me and I can barely eat now. Damage got so bad I don't see my health coming back and it's not worth living with now.

All for nothing. Others recover within weeks, I just didn't know I needed to decrease acid for a few weeks Nd my dietician and alternative quack made me scared of that too, but I see people heal my issues now that I understand what it was 😭 I was neglected and made worse for 2 years and neglect added stress to a condition very sensitive to stress.

meanwhile I was so optimistic my issue was mild, was able to eat normal,.met the love of my life started dancing classes and was genuinely so happy.

I lost my amazing life of traveling and my 10 year anniversary of my job as I lost it due to losing the opportunity to recover from a mild issue by the harmful advice.

I lost my partner after damage made me realise there was no return to health anymore.

I am so extremely angry towards my doctors not only gaslighting me, but writing down symptoms I never even had, just so I'd fit in the box of their presumptions. PsychosomatiziNG 13kg of unwanted weight loss, dehydration from being in ketosis too often due to gastritis. I received zero support or knowledge. not even the standard "use an antidepressant" or "H2 blocker"

While I now read people cure this with an H2 blocker, digestive directed antidepressants or sucralfate. the bare minimum care 😭

And on top of that the last doctor I spoke to after my dieticians advice hurt me severely. She said:

"THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU ANYWAY"

WOW.. JUST.. WOW...

I had just realised by then how poorly I have been treated ánd mistreated with harmful advice, my only advice.

BecauS she didn't believe there was actually something wrong, neither did they ever provided treatment that apparently helps other so well with this issue. Neither education I had gastric damage. Fuck nothing proactive or informative I received. months later my stomach was bleeding, while my doc said "it cannot get worse"

I had to ASK for an egd and ultrasound, it was dismissed with "we cannot risk to poke in your gut" and "we cannot throw around with ultrasounds" never in my life I asked for one. Wow. Not replaced by knowledge, treatment or explanation.

they were so firmly convinced it was untreatable or psychosomatic, I don't know what they thought, they never communicated it to me, but also completely forgot this also can use medication, explanation, lifestyle and recovery is possible. they didn't give me IV when my potassium and sodium was too low, my kidneys hurts and my belly was hollow I could count my organs.

She ruined my entire life and she still believes she did the right things.

I can't anymore.

Wtf.

Sorry if this is a redundant post but I am just losing my mind and need to get this off my chest.

This has been the worst year of my life so far, full of interpersonal conflicts and I have completely isolated myself in the last 6 months. I'm stuck at home a lot because I am in between a rock and a hard place in terms of my circumstances, finding a job etc.

Every day I am just consumed with anger. I compulsively talk to myself loudly and can't help but yell sometimes, to the horror of my roommates. I am 28 and still live in close quarters student accommodation. I can't drive. I have to restrain myself from punching more holes in the wall. I want to scream all the time. Every day I ruminate over disagreements and slights, things that happened months or years ago, and how much I want to scream at and hit and threaten that person (usually my stepdad, or people who are patronizing or have rejected, judged, or let me down in some way).

I'm a 28yo woman and this is not cute anymore. It does not feel okay or normal.

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with this anger in a healthy way? I exercise and eat well, I try to keep myself occupied although unemployed atm. I am a qualified enrolled nurse but the transport situation is really tough. If I could afford it I would love to join a MMA gym, or if I had a yard I'd be chopping wood all day. I just want to destroy something.

I have always been an angry, anxious, depressed person but it's getting out of control and burning me. Try as I might, I can't drop it, my mind doesn't want to let go of things I can't control. I am losing my mind please help me

If you did, what was the outcome ?
I know someone whose mother has anger issues. She once mentioned that she doesn’t want to be like her mother. However, from what I can see, it seems as though she suppresses even healthy aggression. If someone treats her unfairly or is rude to her, she doesn’t react the way she probably should. I’m not suggesting that she should lash out at others, but healthy aggression can help ? What could this suppression lead to ?