Background: We have a nanny for our 4 year old son.

Also important background to this story- 9 years ago, my sister passed away tragically from anorexia.

Situation: Our nanny of 6 months and I were chatting, and she asked me if I had a sibling. I told her super briefly about my sister’s life and how she passed away. She asked me how she passed, and I told her, verbatim: she died from an eating disorder pretty young, at 30. As I usually do when talking about her death, I mentioned that even though she was an adult, we even tried commitment. (I think there’s a part of me that assumes that every time I tell her story, I have to throw this commitment statement in because that person is probably wondering “how did they let someone die from this”, and I always want people to know that we tried. Everything.)

Today, we were catching up, and somehow we talking about how our neighbors had had the police come visit lately. She tells me that she actually looked up the house, and was able to find who lived there arrest records, and whatever legal public information is out there. I was like wow, that’s a lot of information on the internet.

And then she says “yeah, I actually read everything up on your sister” And proceeds to show me that all of my sister’s commitment documentation and info about her court ordered rehabilitation is online and available to the public.

This isn’t a surprise, I know court documents are public. However, this feels REALLY weird to me that she went looking for more info on our family…and admitted freely to finding it?

Is this fireable? How would you handle this? She didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, but it feels like a weird thinking to admit and a suspicious thing to do.

It’s peak birthday season and one of my absolute BIGGEST pet peeves is when parents scramble to buy "consolation" gifts for the other kids just because they’re crashing out over someone else getting attention.

When did we stop teaching kids that the world doesn't revolve around them? Yes, we are big on teaching emotional intelligence these days, but there's a massive difference between validating feelings and enabling entitlement. If Tommy is melting down because he didn't get a toy on his brother's birthday, handing him a present anyway just teaches him that a tantrum gets results.

Not only does it ruin the birthday child's special day—because now everyone is tiptoeing around a meltdown or being forced to share the spotlight—it robs kids of a crucial life skill: learning to sit with discomfort. Handling disappointment, waiting your turn, and genuinely celebrating someone else’s win without making it about you are essential.

You 100% can gentle parent while still holding boundaries and teaching kids how to tolerate being uncomfortable.

Whenever I’m working, I don't play that game. If my NK gets a birthday gift, I don't let the siblings tear into it or play with it. For the first two days I redirect every time. Unless my NK says they are ready to share.

I understand there are some special cases, but like even children who are on the spectrum still need to learn those skills.

🤯😬Watching parents cave to the sibling chaos is honestly wild. Rant over!

My nanny family has done this multiple times, but this morning was a bit amplified. I’m all for taking care of something from when I wasn’t around when it’s, say folding laundry that was done over the weekend. But this morning I started at noon (as opposed to earlier in the morning), and there was a huge mess of food ALL over the floor and her chair (like as if a Tupperware full of food fell open) while NM and toddler were upstairs playing. I figured okay maybe it was just a messy lunch and she had to go change her. As I’m cleaning it, NM comes down with toddler says “oh sorry [husband] didn’t do a very good job of cleaning. I said oh he’s here? (He’s always at work when I’m there), and she said no it was from breakfast but she got home late last night from her trip…

So you mean to tell me that this insane mess is from 4 hours ago, and you decided to leave it for me to clean instead of doing it yourself while you’re not working? Like of course I pick up after everything that happens while I’m here—that goes without saying.

It just really pissed me off because it’s not the first time this has happened where I’m cleaning messes from when I’m not there, or changing a diaper bin that doesn’t have room for a single diaper more but they don’t want to take the trash out themselves.

I probably won’t say anything about it because I’m looking for a new family anyway for higher pay, but I just feel this is so disrespectful and fully taking advantage of me. Anyone else have this experience?

Our family assistant goes grocery shopping for us while the kids are in school. Every trip she buys herself something. But it’s like a latter, sandwich then olive oil spray, 2 bags of pasta. I’m ok for a latte or maybe a sandwich but it’s starting to add up and she has only been with us a few weeks. How do we handle this?!

So I really feel like MB is letting NK2 call the shots around the house. NK woke up at 9 am and he has to wait for MB to get him. They then go to mom’s room. This morning MB asked NK to go downstairs to start the day and NK just went back to MB’s room. They are probably gonna be there for at least 30 more minutes. I didn’t hear MB say no to NK nor have I ever heard her say no to him. NK 2 is her first and she is currently pregnant with another boy. Oh and yesterday MB was on FaceTime with her sister all through out lunch time and NK barely had lunch because she gave the phone to him.

I’m from a small town in TN. I had a friend approach me and ask if I would be interested in a nanny position for one of their family members.
The NF son that’s 4 and autistic wasn’t doing good in Pre-K and they were talking about pulling him out.
Family was panicking and didn’t know what to do. Both parents work full time and they don’t have any family who could watch him.

I was going through a lot the beginning of the year. Had a miscarriage back in March and my husband was gone most of the year for work.
I agreed to do it because I figured it would help me while hubby was gone and keep me busy.

The mom is a teacher so I work the same schedule as the school. As far as days off. I started in August and will work until the end of May.

There have been some big changes that took place in my family at the end of September/beginning of October.

At the end of September hubby found out the company is going under and decided to quit his job to start his own company. I do the bookkeeping and some other stuff for it. Originally the plan was to just take my laptop to work with me and just pull double duties. This became difficult pretty quickly. Our business took off almost instantly, and NK is very needy and refuses to play or do anything by himself. It has gotten to the point where I can’t do both.

The beginning of October I found out I’m pregnant again. I have been soooooo sick and tired. I don’t eat anything right now because any thought of food makes me nauseas and I can’t sit down while watching NK because I will start dozing off and obviously that’s not good.

I want to quit so bad but I feel so guilty. I don’t want hurt feelings with my friend or NF. These 50 hour work weeks are kicking my butt though and I don’t know how much more I can’t take. I can’t just put in a two week notice because they don’t have anyone to take my place and they’re not rich by any means so it would mess them up with work.

It also doesn’t help NK can be so difficult sometimes and you never know what he’s going to be like day to day.
He has his moments where he is so so sweet. But he’s demanding, mouthy and everything is an argument. NF wanted me to work with him during the day on letters and numbers. But he. Won’t. Do it. He doesn’t want anything to do with schooling. If you try to set a timer and tell him we are going to work on this for 5 minutes and then play. He starts screaming how I said we are never playing again, I don’t love him, he wants to hurt me, etc. it always ends in me having to carry his heavy self up the stairs to his room to calm down. He’s like this on everything. He has to control what happens or it’s a big meltdown. So we play all day. But he has to control what we play, what is said during play and if I don’t say it exactly like he wants me to he can’t move past it. I’ll tell him that’s all I’m saying and sometimes he’ll let it go but a lot of times it ends in a meltdown. I don’t know how to help him on that.

I guess I’m just dealing with burnout and exhaustion and I don’t know what to do.

Edit to add: NP are so sweet and they love me so much and always tell me what a blessing I have been to them and they don’t know what they would do without me. It makes me feel so guilty for thinking of quitting.

I’ve been a childcare provider (off and on) for 15 years. I love children. I’m fiercely passionate about nurturing and keeping them safe. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education. I feel like I’m all the right things.

But it hit me like a ton of bricks this morning - I have grown to hate this career.

For the longest time, I’ve wondered what was wrong with me. Why I feel so burnt out. Why I feel anxious when booking a new family. Why I dread going in every day, think about quitting all the time, and have an overwhelming urge to just walk out when the children are giving me a difficult time.

I recently realized that the only professions I’ve ever felt this way in (besides my crummy fast-food job as a teenager) were the ones that involved me working with children.

I’ve been in marketing since 2021 and was devastated when I lost most of my clients to AI in late 2025. I loved working from home, choosing my own schedule, and collaborating with other adults.

No changing diapers, no practically breaking my back to get these kids to nap, no having to explain to parents where that bump came from, no feeling guilty about having to take a personal day. I could write a novel.

I deleted all of my childcare apps, cancelled a meet and greet I had for this week, and am NEVER turning back.

I have a job interview for a marketing and sales position with the local news on Wednesday.

Here’s to taking my life back.

If you feel the same way, it doesn’t get better. Take the leap. Try something new. Being a nurturer doesn’t mean you’re shackled to working with kids forever. There’s a whole other world out there…with zero boogers.

Thank you for reading. 🫶

I threw a party for our 2 year olds birthday this weekend and couldn’t decide if I should invite our nanny who comes 1-2 times a week since he was 3 months old. I didn’t want her to feel obligated and she’s young and works/goes to school and didn’t want her to have to use a day off to hang out in the vicinity of little kids during her day off. But having alluding to the party, I’m realizing I might have hurt her feelings in not inviting her.

This might be overkill, but I think I’m going to apologize and tell her my thought process for not extending the invite. Thanks for letting me vent

Hi everyone! I’m looking for advice from both nannies and nanny employers because I’m honestly at a loss about what to do. I’ve been with this family for less than a month and things have already become incredibly uncomfortable. I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives.

For context, I met this MB because a family I casually babysit for posted about me in a local moms group because I couldn’t find full time work and she responded to the post. We are complete strangers. We met in person for an interview on 9/30 which went well and I started working for her 8/6. I've been a childcare professional for a little over 10 years and my last nanny family I had I was with them for 5 years and continue to watch their kiddos in the summertime.

First week:

MB made a comment about threatening to call ICE on Spanish-speaking construction workers who trespassed on their property. She also casually accused me of vaping when I was actually using hand sanitizer. I do not smoke. MB complains constantly about DB and their marriage in front of me, shares personal information that feels inappropriate for a professional relationship, and has made frequent negative racial comments. Additionally, DB frequently talks about me with MB over speakerphone while I’m standing right there, as if I’m not present. The 11m LO is actually a very happy and easy going baby. I've enjoyed caring for LO and I genuinely like working with them.

Second week:

DB was gone all day one day, he works from home, and kept texting me separately that he'd be home soon instead of using the group chat with both parents. Which made me uncomfortable because I prefer all work communication to stay in the group chat with both parents so no information gets lost in translation. He returned shortly before I was supposed to leave for the day and apologized for being gone all day. I overheard part of a speakerphone conversation between him and MB while coming downstairs from LO's room, during which MB was very upset and that he had been ignoring her all day. A few days later, MB sent me a lengthy text explaining DB’s alleged struggles with alcohol, his depression, their marital issues, and that she had installed a living room camera. I do not mind a nanny cam, but I do not need all of this personal information that has nothing to do with my actual job. She also asked me not to tell him she had shared this information and to let her know if anything seemed off. I found this incredibly inappropriate to put on an employee. I WILL NOT keep secrets and I am not your husbands babysitter. I didn’t respond to the text as I had no idea what to say and I didn't want to be involved. MB didn't mention this text to me in person and we moved on.

Third week:

Still experiencing oversharing and lack of professional boundaries, but the week goes great with the baby. DB is in his office and I'm able to focus on a routine with LO. MB was home on later in the week and seemed to be upset that I was feeding him more solids and not as much formula. I always offer LO bottles throughout the day, and if they refuse I go for solids. LO is almost a year old so I figured this is normal to transition into. Something to note was they did not have a feeding schedule when I started. No 3 hours between bottles or how many ounces. Just, "If he's fussy he'll eat". Which I also hadn't worked with a baby who wasn't on a regular feeding schedule. I have begun to notice that at the end of the week when MB is working from home, she will have her laptop out but mostly be taking care of her own baby and talk about her issues while I sit with them. I feel very awkward, and questioning why they need me here.

Today:

MB took the day off specifically to confront me about several things that had apparently been eating at her all weekend. She accused me of not giving her LO enough formula, claiming he’s losing weight and that she can see his ribs. I absolutely understand the importance of proper nutrition and I respect her feedback as its her child, but I feel like his weight concerns should be addressed with his pediatrician rather than turned into accusations against me. He eats a lot of solids and like I said I always offer bottles first. MB said he gets most of his nutrition and calories from formula still. She was also upset that I put him to sleep 20 minutes before I am supposed to in the afternoon and now her and DB suffer all night because LO doesn't sleep. I've been putting him to bed at the same time for the last 3 weeks so I was caught off guard by that comment. I obviously listened to her, accepted her feedback, apologized and assured her that I will adjust to her requests as I also want what is best for LO.

Throughout this conversation she seemed to be getting more upset with me. She then accused me of smoking weed at a nearby park in front of LO while I was on the clock and criticized me for sitting under a gazebo too long during walks and questioned whether she could trust me to give LO enough outdoor/active time. I asked why she was accusing me of all of this and MB said a neighbor came to their front door over the weekend to tell them about it. This is completely false, and I’m really upset that she would make such a serious accusation. I maybe sit under the gazebo to feed LO a bottle or just to rest, but it's never for a long time and we finish our walk. She would not let me defend myself, as she kept talking over me. I kept a very calm demeanor until this smoking accusation. During the same conversation, she said that she has eyes all over the neighborhood and she made belittling comments about how much she pays me for only four hours of “easy work” because LO sleeps, which felt incredibly disrespectful. She even joked about blindsiding me and having a new nanny the next day, so I genuinely thought I was about to be fired, but MB seemed to expect me work as usual for the rest of the day.

What makes this situation even more confusing is that when I started to visibly cry and tried to explain to her how upsetting these accusations were and that they were completely untrue, she suddenly became emotional and started telling me she might get a divorce, that I’m all she has, that she loves and trusts me, and that I’m a gift sent from God. She said that her LO loves me so much. She repeatedly said I’m like family and she trusts me so much. After telling me how much she doesn't trust me? The emotional whiplash was too much. I put LO down for a nap and I had thought she went to get groceries. I asked DB to speak with me, as I fully decided I was quitting and will not tolerate being spoken to in that way and I just couldn't believe the accusations. What else were they going to accuse me of? I started to explain to DB that I am uncomfortable with how MB is treating me and that I do not think this will work out, and MB walked in. I started to explain that I was no longer comfortable in their house or their neighborhood, she started to say something like, "Oh I'm not supposed to give you feedback on MY child" which turned into her talking about the adjustments to LO's schedule and not her belittling comments and the accusations. I tried to explain that it has nothing to do with LO and it was about how she was treating me. It went in one ear and out the other. Again, she kept saying they trust me and love me and I'm like family. LO started to fuss so MB went upstairs. I told DB I'm leaving, and he said to text him later. I was hoping I could quit and leave, but it was left a mess.

I’m struggling with how quickly MB switches between accusing me of serious misconduct, criticizing my work, and then making me feel responsible for her emotional well-being and being overly kind. I want to be professional and do right by LO, but the blurred boundaries and emotional highs and lows are exhausting, and I never know what kind of situation I’m walking into each day. I want to send a text before tonight that says:

"I’ve decided to end my time as LO's nanny, effective immediately. I’ve loved caring for LO and wish your family the best. Thank you for the opportunity."

If they try to convince me to stay I'll send: "I’ve made my decision, and I wish you all the best."

This family does not have any backup child care or family to help. They don't start daycare for a few months. I was sort of helping them out while they were in a pickle. This makes me feel guilty, but I'm reminding myself that these people are strangers and this is a job. I'm not sure if I should send the text but I'm honestly afraid of going back to work for them. I'm also afraid of what might come after the text, like MB replying with more harsh comments or even trying to call me. I almost don't believe that a neighbor told her anything, I'm not sure why she would make up an accusation. I think she might have serious postpartum anxiety/depression and legitimately needs help.

I am a NANNY, not a THERAPIST!

Has anyone dealt with an employer like this, and how would you handle it? Any advice.

I mean no offense to the fellas, but I’m curious if anyone else has noticed that dads are always awkward as heck. For context, I am a freelance fill-in nanny (a substitute, if you will) and therefore I’ve worked with 300+ families, and before that I taught mommy and me class (where dads of course came.)

I don’t know if it’s because dads feel weird talking to another woman in their home or they just aren’t present in their kids lives, but I swear every time I come and the dad is doing handover, you’d think he was in the principals office. SO much silence and “um”’s. I’m friendly and like to chat- I never force conversation, but like… you’re not even gonna ask how the baby’s day was? The moms always love me so I know this isn’t a me issue lol.

Moms, please chime in too. Let’s get to the bottom of this.

LO will be 3 in January, she seems ready to potty train (knows what the toilet is for, talks about it, does it for her toys, will sit on the potty etc). We have been trying going bottomless and she is holding her wee, she clearly needs a wee (dancing around etc) and will sit on the potty but not release.
Have tried reading books, watching potty time videos, blowing bubbles we were playing tickling and when a bit of wee came out she got really upset) and she is just going in her nap time/ night time nappy.
I’ve not done solo potty training before so I’m struggling a bit with ideas and how to help her not feel so stressed by it.
Any ideas would be welcome!

I don’t understand why there is so much emotion behind not being able to do something (that’s not in my job description) can’t come in on sat AND sunday?

Now NP’s are cold, short and very obviously were unhappy that they couldn’t get the weekend help BUT i already work 5 days a week with them(!?!!?!??

The moment I can get a different job I’m taking a long break from this.

I used to absolutely love and invest myself into this career but it sucks that NP’s ruin it. For them AND their kids

Hi, I just wanted to vent ! I know the economy is hard right now and nanny jobs are few and far between . With so many nannies out of work so the market is saturated . Im a Chicago Nanny and i've been up to the final 2 for two really great positions , I haven't been chosen twice now. It's starting to hurt a little . My PT nanny family doesn't really need me and I feel are keeping me on as a a curtsey until I find something and theres only a matter of time. It's just hitting me that i've been doing this job for 5 years now and don't know what to pivot into next.

Ive even taken the dive to join a few agencies and lots of facebook groups . Fb parents get bombarded with messages so majority messages don't get answered . Agencies have lots of people to advocate for so I cant be upset that someone else gets the job. Im just not sure where to go from here .

My heart is so full. There’s 3 of them (9, 7, 5) and they were all ecstatic when they saw me. We went to the park and the conversation went like:

G5: “(nanny name), I love you so so so much!!!”

Me: “te quiero mucho!!!”

G5: “te quiero mucho!!!… we love each other so much right?”

😭😭😭 these girls make me want to have babies so bad FUCK.

I’m considering a part-time position in NYC caring for one 10-year-old, around 20 hours per week. The parents would like me to speak French with their child and occasionally help MB with tasks related to her company.

The offered rate is $50/hour. Does that sound fair for this combination of responsibilities? If you have a similar role, what do you charge, and how do you define the scope of the business-related tasks?

Please look at my last post for more context, BUT, if you sent this to your NM, and it’s 8 PM and you’ve received no response, wyd tomorrow??? I sent this at 10:30 AM.

I’m sleeping in, am I wrong??

“Hey J____!

I am checking in for the hours you need help this week. I have a doctors appointment on the 29th I’ve been waiting for that just opened up, I know that’s your early out day. It’s at 3 PM in ——- so I need to leave no later than 2:30 PM. Is that doable?

I also wanted to provide a few activities I had ideas about - I’m worried that I don’t really have that much in the way of activities for R— that are going to help his development, and I think a Montessori style ADL approach would be helpful. It would be awesome if I could have access to some more resources (only for him to use so they don’t go missing 😅)
Like:

-kid large grip crayons or non messy watercolor, crafting coloring paper, kid safe scissors
-large container we can fill with water out at the park and practice pouring with a pitcher and cup for fine motor skills
-tongs for the same, for the bean sorting which he seemed to enjoy
-crafting apron so we can avoid messes

I also did find story times at the library which I think would be great for him as well! Those happen on Tuesday and Wednesday I believe.”

I then sent the images of the library posted story hours.

It’s 8 PM. I sent it this morning at 10:30 Am. I have to get up at 6:30 AM if I’m going to be there at the normal arrival of 8 AM. She KNOWS I go to bed early. I have other things to do this week. WWYD?

Estou em NY na casa da minha irmã, cuidando dos gêmeos que ela teve recentemente. Aqui cuido de tudo, dos bebês, também cuido da casa, roupas e comida. Trabalho dia todo e a noite durmo com um dos bebês, para dar as mamadeiras noturnas. Eles nasceram prematuros. Agora estão perto de 3 meses. Vou ficar somente mais um mês com ela. Mas futuramente, pretendo voltar. Desta vez vim mais pra ajudá-la. Ela me paga em 3 mil dólares por mês. Mas eu gostaria de saber quanto na realidade eu poderia receber, caso estivesse trabalhando profissionalmente.

A little (positive) update to this post

DB and I talked this out more at the end of the day that this happened, and we both went over each other's expectations regarding overtime. I thanked him for hearing me out and reiterated that I had no ill intentions, to which he said the same and added that "there are no hard feelings, if you're wondering whether there's lingering thoughts, it's already been forgotten"

To which I am grateful 🥲

Some comments (that I think might have been removed) were saying what I’d done was super inappropriate and caused irreparable damage to my dynamic with my NPs which I was so worried about but I'm hoping this really does mean they won't be keeping this in the back of their minds. Thank you to everyone who helped give me some perspective!

For some context, i’ve only started working for this family for the past few weeks, but im already getting uncomfortable in their house. this family has 2 kids, one 5yo who is autistic, nonverbal, and needs one on one care, she goes to a facility during the day. Then they have a 6mo baby that i am in charge of watching. The grandmother lives with them but goes between sitting around the living room, around the house, or just going out completely. The family has a play mat in their living room, thats covered in dirt and crumbs and it’s just nasty, it’s obviously walked on with shoes and such. They have 3 cats and the litter box is right in the living room so they track litter everywhere. I dont feel comfortable putting the baby down for tummy time or to practice crawling and sitting up because of how disgusting the floor is. They dont have a proper spot for him to nap down here, they have a electric rocker but he’s outgrown it, and a bassinet that’s COVERED in cat hair and litter. So he either has a contact nap or he’s put safely in a little area set up on the couch. I really like this family and they are very kind, but the condition of their house is difficult to deal with. this house definitely isnt the WORST it could be but its enough to effect my work.

Ive thought about suggesting hiring a cleaner but it doesnt seem like that is going to be possible for them. I dont have a contract and im getting paid under the table but i wasnt told i needed to clean their house at all.

Ive also considered setting up my own place to nanny but im not sure if thats plausible with me having roommates, having a 30-45 minute commute, and id have to buy all the supplies.

Im not really sure what to do here, i really like the family and the baby, but i want him to thrive and be able to practice crawling and such. Do i suck it up and clean it myself or should i say something?

Hi everyone! This is a pretty light hearted post but just wanted to get some ideas and opinions from some of you!

I have been working for my current family for about 1.5 years now, I love them and am so happy! They have a 22 month old boy and now mom is being induced this week with a baby girl!!!! I am so so excited.

While they are away at the hospital I am on toddler duty and was thinking about maybe decorating the house while they are gone? Nothing crazy. Maybe just some balloons that say welcome home baby girl and a craft from big brother?

Any other ideas?!? Is this a dumb idea??

Wondering if anyone has had any experience with an employer offering something somewhat expensive (car insurance, gym membership, phone bill, etc) and instead of the employee paying for the service, there is an exchange of hours worked for the employer? For ex. If your employer offered to cover your gym membership in exchange for 5 hours of nannying on a weekend day. Is this fair? Legal? What issues could potentially come from this or do nannies like this? Let me know your thoughts please.

I want to start by saying that I absolutely love the family I work for. We have a really close relationship, and I’ve been with them for a little over a year. I’m also their first nanny.
Throughout the year, I’ve noticed my workload gradually increasing, but I initially brushed it off as me getting more familiar with their family dynamics and routines.
I take care of a 2-year-old and a 6-year-old. When we first interviewed, the parents made it seem like the older child had a pretty busy schedule between school, after-school activities, summer camps, etc., so I was under the impression that most of my time would be spent caring for the younger child.
However, as time went on, they started pulling him out of activities and having him stay home with me more often. This eventually turned into me caring for both children for almost the entire summer, as well as regularly after school. When we initially discussed compensation, I gave them my rate based on the assumption that I’d primarily be responsible for one child, so the amount of time I’m now caring for both is significantly more than I expected.
On top of that, the younger child has had ongoing medical issues that have required surgery, frequent appointments, hospital stays, and additional medical care at home. I’ve been very involved in all of this, including accompanying him to the hospital, caring for him there, and helping manage his medical needs at home or my commute significantly increasing cause I have to go to the hospital (1h). Of course, I care about him and am more than willing to support the family through these situations, but it’s definitely added another layer of responsibility to my job.
I also handle quite a bit of household management, including grocery shopping, returns, preparing full dinners for the family, laundry, dishes, changing sheets, and other household tasks like organizing pantries/seasonal items/fridge etc etc.

Individually, these things might not seem like a huge deal, but when I look at everything together, I feel like my role has evolved into something much more demanding than what we originally discussed.
When I was hired, we agreed to have an annual review, and I was planning to use that opportunity to discuss my increased responsibilities and adjusting my rate accordingly. However, the family has had a lot going on personally, and my review keeps getting postponed.
I completely understand that life gets busy, especially with everything they’ve been dealing with, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t starting to feel a little discouraged. I put a lot of effort into keeping their household running smoothly, and sometimes I feel like my own professional needs are being pushed to the side, I’m not lying when I say I don’t even sit for 9 hours cause I’m constantly doing things.
I really value my relationship with this family, and I don’t want to come across as insensitive or ungrateful, especially given the medical challenges they’ve been navigating.
How would you approach this conversation? Would you bring up the increased workload and compensation separately, or wait until they finally make time for the annual review? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

So I have 1NK who I've been watching since 3mo and next month is her first bday! I'm so excited about it, my wife and I were both invited to her party, but they're doing no presents (Grandma buys her a LOT and they're doing Montessori parenting, so they want lower stimulation anyways)! I've had kids in the past that I couldn't afford bday gifts for, but this is by far the best nanny family I've ever had and I want to show my appreciation and excitement for them! I was thinking maybe I'll write a little bday letter or something about my fav mems with her from this year, but I also don't want to come off as too much?? I tend to get really emotionally attached to my jobs even prior to being a nanny, so I'd hate to get too personal and make them uncomfortable since I'm just an employee, but this is a particularly personal job, so I struggle to find the line. What do yall think?