We live in the U.S., I am Japanese-American with Japanese parents, I can speak Japanese but I don’t believe I am Japanese as I am only ingrained in the nuance and culture that my parents taught me and I am very influenced by Asian American culture so I prefer to live like an American. My wife is a Japanese national and we have two kids. We had our children obtain dual citizenship shortly after they were born.
My wife insists that I am more Japanese than American because it’s “in my blood”and she wants us to raise our kids as “full Japanese” (Speaking Japanese only at home, only cooking Japanese dishes, chores, etiquette, media, and annual travel to her home city to visit their grandparents) so that they can be prepared as adults should they ever decide that they want to live in Japan and denounce their U.S. citizenship when they are of age.
I think it’s somewhat pointless and absurd to completely ignore their American side at home as they are also American and should embrace their American culture at home and not just when they’re outside; my wife even likes American culture as well and enjoys her American professional and social life, but she tells me that since they are holding dual citizenship we have a “duty” to also raise them as Japanese so that they are able to make a more conscious choice when having to eventually declare U.S. or Japanese nationality to Japan.
Not exactly sure if committing ourselves to this household rule for the next 10+ years is reasonable
EDIT: After hearing everyone’s opinion I now believe it’s a commitment and self-sacrifice we do have to make since we chose to have them obtain their dual citizenships when they were born, thank you all
Some further discussion with my wife, she decided to be more lenient on the American culture ban, and we compromise with:
-Japanese only at home, English outside
-Japanese etiquette and chores
-All media is fine but it has to be in Japanese audio
-They are allowed to consume American culture and media on Fridays and Saturdays
-Once they are teenagers and have their own computers they can consume anything they’d like but we will still expect them to follow the house rules outside of their room/private space
For clarity on the post:
Our children already speak both English and Japanese, we do a mixture at home.
Our children will have to make a decision when they are 22 to be U.S. nationality or Japanese nationality, because of this my wife wants them to have an understanding of both cultures before making a decision and does not want them to make a choice out of comfort or boredom.
Wife believes that if we don’t make the home exclusively Japanese and have Japanese mannerisms, etiquette, lifestyle, etc at home they won’t be prepared to make an actual conscious decision
