Hello, Bonjour Grüzi !
I hope you're doing weel. I'm new here, so I hope to describe the situation as clearly as possible :-)
Here is a bit more about me : I moved 8 months ago into my first apartment in Switzerland (in Romandie) at 25yo ; I’m a woman and I live with my boyfriend. We’re a pretty low-key couple : we always try our best to be as discrete as possible, and if we do happen to throw a party (it happened only once in 8 months), we let everyone know in advance through our Whatsapp group. I’m the kind of person who loves to resolve any issue through communication and who’s willing to make a lot of compromises to ensure everything goes smoothly. That’s a little bit about who I am.
And here is the situation : For the past 8 months, I’ve occasionally been disturbed by very loud bass from my next-door neighbour’s music, TV and stereo. It’s not so much the overall volume or dialogue that bothers me, but the low-frequency bass that travels through the walls and makes my apartment vibrate.
I’ve spoken to her about it 3 times between February and August, always politely. I even once went with a bottle of wine because I felt bad about repeatedly bringing up the issue. Every time, she seemed genuinely sorry, the problem would get resolved, and then a week later it would start all over again. I didn't say anything until then.
BUT, yesterday, at 8 am on a Sunday, the bass was extremely loud again. I sent her a kind message asking if she could turn it down just a little because I wanted to rest. This was the fourth time I’d raised the issue. Here is the original message (translated in EN) "Hi, sorry to bother you and bring this up again, but could you please turn the music down just a little bit? It's 8 a.m., and we can really feel the walls shaking. I wanted to get some more rest. Thanks so much ! "
And then things took a completely unexpected turn. She reacted very defensively, saying I was exaggerating, that she couldn’t live like this anymore, that she wasn’t a loud person, and that I was persecuting her. She also said that she knew exactly what she was doing and that I was obviously lying. She seemed convinced that I had something against her personally. She told me she felt personally attacked, that I had a serious problem with her, that I hated her, and that I never left her alone.
In short, she sent me a series of messages like these, which I honestly didn’t understand at all. I had simply asked her to turn down the music on a Sunday morning. It was the fourth time I’d brought this up in eight months, and, to be honest, I just wanted to sleep a little longer.
I can understand that the music might not sound particularly loud from inside her apartment. I genuinely accept that we may perceive it differently. However, she doesn’t seem to understand that the bass can travel through the building and be much more disruptive in my apartment, where the walls genuinely vibrate.
I’m not asking her to stop listening to music or watching films. She regularly watches TV until around 10 pm, and sometimes I can hear her films for entire afternoons, including Saturdays from 2 pm to 10 pm. I’ve never complained about that, because I understand that some noise is part of apartment living. Even when the bass makes my apartment vibrate in the afternoon, I usually just put on headphones, go outside or move to another room rather than complain. I’ve made these compromises for months because I genuinely want to be considerate and avoid conflict.
I simply think that having my apartment vibrate from very loud bass at 8 am on a Sunday is excessive. I’d like to be able to enjoy my Sunday mornings peacefully in my own home.
After yesterday’s exchange, that was too much for me, I contacted the property management company because I no longer feel comfortable discussing the issue directly with her.
So, from a Swiss apartment-living perspective, am I being unreasonable ? Should I simply accept this as part of living in an apartment building, or is it fair to ask a neighbour to reduce the bass when it causes noticeable vibrations in another apartment, particularly early on a Sunday morning ? What should I do next if the situation doesn't change ?
I’d genuinely appreciate balanced opinions, including if you think I’m being too sensitive.