Need some help over here. Dad of twins at 14 months. We’ve been going the attachment parenting route as well as we can, but to be honest, with twins we’re at our limit in many cases here.

I help with them as best I can, diapers, watching them while on break from work, being responsible for one of them at night, ect. But the nights are the hardest.

Our daughter has always been the most troubling to get to sleep. Most of the time she won’t let anyone get her down except mom, if I try it’s just thrashing and screaming for 20 minutes or more, until mom comes to get her again. And then she still wakes up 2-3 times a night and when she does, it will be a hard wake up, crying loudly, thrashing, and again, very unlikely she’ll let me take her To comfort her. She’ll take a bottle, usually finish it, then keep fussing. She’ll usually only settle if you’re standing or sitting with her, but if you try to put her down again, she’ll start crying again. It’s exhausting. Just now, she woke up and though calm, wouldn’t go back to sleep for an hour and a half. Miraculously when she woke up as my wife tried to lay back down, she let me take her and now I’m pacing the living room wither her asleep in my arms while I type this, and I’m expecting I’m probably not going to get any sleep for a few hours

The boy is a bit better, but still challenging. He can also wake up suddenly and energetically with loud cries and even if given a bottle and held while standing or sitting, might not go back to sleep for an hour or more.

we’re trying to get them off night time bottles and encourage them to sleep through the night. We’ve got them down to roughly two bottles a night, and we’ve started diluting them at a ratio of 3:2 for milk:water at the moment.

We’re getting desperate. The exhaustion is wearing on us, and we haven’t had a good night sleep in a year. When they were really little one of us could manage both, but now with these high intensity wake ups, and extended awake times, we just can’t double duty it anymore so we’re both just stuck with babies with difficult sleeps.

I think the son is making progress quicker, but it’s still a battle. Unfortunately it’s effecting our mental health, and while we can get some short help during the day, there aren’t really any near by family we can lean on for any kind of night help.

Any ideas for what’s going wrong here? Anything for us to check that we may be missing or not thinking about?

Apologies if I’m not entirely clear. It’s 3 in the morning and I have a currently peacefully sleeping daughter in my arms, but I don’t know for how long.

I just dropped my 5 month old at daycare and it’s day 2, I came early to pick him up as I’m only doing half days for a adjustment period and his teacher is a 1:4 and two other babies were napping and teacher was feeding one baby and my baby was just crying on the playmat. I understand teacher has to feed babies but it doesn’t make me feel good. Who knows how long he was crying for? Anyone have good daycare advice for a new parent or just experiences on how to deal with the guilt

I’m not even talking about the laundry, dishes or hobbies. I’m talking about using the toilet, getting more water, picking up DoorDash from your front porch? My baby will only contact nap or sleep in the swing which I try very hard to limit or avoid completely. There is no ninja roll away or transfer for naps. She has gratefully been sleeping well at night. I’m alone with her all day and don’t have family, nor do I have available friends or the funds for a regular postpartum doula. She’s 12 weeks today.

Hi everyone, I’m posting because I honestly don’t know what else to do and I’m at my breaking point.
My daughter just turned 4, and her attachment to me has reached a level where I feel completely suffocated. She refuses to go with anyone else—not even her dad or grandparents who she sees all the time—and she absolute refuses to go to preschool. Constantly, day in and day out, she has to be right next to me, touching me, or talking to me. I don't even get a moment to use the bathroom or breathe in peace.
Because I never get a single second to myself, it has deeply affected my mental health. I am sliding into depression, feeling trapped in my own home, and resentful—which makes me feel like a terrible mom, adding even more guilt to the pile.
I love her more than anything, but I am running on empty. If anyone has been through this extreme stage of separation anxiety or clinginess, how did you survive it? How did you gently start setting boundaries or get them to transition to preschool/other caregivers without completely traumatizing them (or yourself)?

We’re a couple with a 20-month-old daughter. She goes to what we consider the best nursery in our area and she seems generally happy there. But at home, it’s a very different story.
She wakes up screaming sometimes, screams when she wakes during the night, and a lot of the time she’s just generally unhappy or frustrated at home. She does laugh and smile, so it’s not that she’s never happy, but it feels like most of our time at home is spent managing her emotions rather than actually enjoying time with her.
We’ve tried taking her to parks, playdates, getting her toys, spending one-on-one time with her etc. These things can make her happier for a while, but the next day we’re back to the same situation.
I know toddlers cry and have difficult phases, and temperament probably plays a role. But I know another toddler around the same age who seems much more content, eats well and is generally happy at home, so I can’t help wondering if there’s something we could be doing differently.
It’s honestly starting to affect us as parents too. We spend so much energy trying to keep her happy that we’re becoming tired and irritated, and I don’t want that to become our normal family life.
For parents who had a similar toddler, did things naturally improve with age? Is there anything that genuinely helped with temperament, frustration, sleep or overall happiness?
I’d really appreciate practical advice from parents who have been through this. I want her to grow up happy, but I also want us to actually enjoy this stage with her rather than constantly trying to manage her emotions.

Hi! ❤️ I'm looking for some advice or experiences with my 6 month old who turned 6 months today
Since birth, he's always been an extremely quiet, chilled and sleepy baby. I've been worried about his development and wondering if anyone has experienced something similar.
- Was a very sleepy newborn and still loves sleeping. Sleeps 8-8 and loves his naps
-Rarely coos or makes “ooo” and “ahh” sounds.
-Doesn't babble or blow raspberries.
-Sometimes makes humming, grunting or squealing noises.
-Grabs toys but isn’t really that interested and he’ll only grab from the one’s dangling down
-Doesn’t bring food or toys to mouth at all only ever brang toy to mouth once
-Doesn't vocalise to get our attention.
-Doesn't make noises when he wakes up.
-Has good eye contact sometimes but doesn't maintain it for long.
-Often looks away after a few seconds.
Smiles when we speak or sing to him but usually only briefly.
-Doesn’t smiles spontaneously to get our attention.
-Does growling noises sometimes
-doesn't turn towards our voices, only sometimes although he reacts to sounds. Passed his hearing tests twice now
- Follows our faces and objects with his eyes.
-Is extremely fascinated with his hands and other people's hands.
-Constantly watches his hands, opens and closes them and puts them in his mouth.
-Frequently hits his knees with his hands when excited
-Sometimes tenses his body and makes repetitive movements arms up in front of his face
-Moves his head side to side to soothe himself to sleep.
-Chews on his tongue at times
-Always has a over it face less expressions
-Rolls both ways
- can sit up assisted but pushes back
-Does swimming movements during tummy time sometimes
-Started solids but eats puree when I feed only doesn’t do blw doesn’t bring food tried multiple times
-Doesn't seem active unless someone interacts with him.
-Sometimes just lies there quietly staring.
-Occasionally cries when I walk away and settles when I return when tired or hungry
-Can smile, move his arms and legs excitedly and engage when we interact with him but takes a lot to do so
-Iron levels were normal.
-Chromosomal microarray and Fragile X testing came back negative.
**I'm wondering whether anyone else has had a baby like this who was simply a quiet, laid-back baby or a late bloomer? Did they eventually catch up with their milestones?**
BEEN TO A PEDIATRICIAN NOT CONCERENED

I’m really struggling right now with my 18mo old. She’s never been a good sleeper, even with cosleeping and she’s very clingy during the day (to the point my husband and I are both in constant pain from carrying her because while she wants to be carried, she wants you to actively move and she flails and does not support herself or let us hold her in a way that doesn’t strain us).

I feel like I’m just complaining but I have truly hit my breaking point. I don’t even want to be around my kid and I feel like a monster. I’m so lucky to have such a supportive husband that is a true partner and does his share plus much more but I know he’s also close to his breaking point.

We have friends that do cry it out and they put their kids to bed at 7 and don’t get them for 12 hours. They do date nights and have time together. We are typically fighting naps and bedtime for a minimum of 30 minutes, sometimes 2 hours or more before she falls asleep. We have tried shifting bedtime, following sleep cues, running off energy, anything we can.. I can go on and on about elderberry, strict routines, etc.

Last night she was just crying in her sleep (per usual) and my husband is a much lighter sleeper so he moved downstairs. Typically I can sleep through/ fall asleep quickly after minor whining but around midnight she was full out WAILING and thrashing me/ hitting me. I lost it and had to move her into her own room because I was irrationally angry. My husband heard my open the door / her screaming amplify so he ended up taking her. I moved to our extra bedroom as I was absolutely irrational and she kept him up until about 4am.

We don’t understand how she functions, she survives on maybe 6-7 hours of sleep at night and 15mins - a hour for naps.

Again, THIS IS WHO SHE IS. She has NEVER been a good sleeper or given us the ability to get enough sleep. I’ve boiled over so bad that I have not seen my kid today. My husband took her to daycare, picked her up and is doing all the things as I’ve hidden in another room because my nerves are shot and I’m literally sick.

What are our options? How are others getting through the insanity of not sleeping? We don’t want to do any cry it out, we want a healthy attachment with her but the situation is driving me to feel like a monster. I need more solutions.

My 7-month-old recently started daycare, and it’s been a really hard adjustment for both her and me. She doesn’t eat there, so my husband and I have to go in during our lunch breaks to feed her. She takes a bottle from us without any issues when we’re there. She also barely naps, sleeping for at most 10–15 minutes, and cries and fusses for much of the day.

She does seem to do slightly better as the week goes on, but the progress has been minimal. Every week feels like starting over. I’ve gone in during the afternoons, and she’s usually sitting on the floor or crawling around crying and fussing. She immediately settles as soon as I pick her up.
Last week, I was told she had a much better day and was making some progress, which meant she took some bottles and only cried for half the day. I know that’s technically progress, but I didn’t find it particularly reassuring.

We’ve tried bringing things from home, but that doesn’t seem to help. She does eat some of the solids I pack for her, but not much.
She has always been slow to warm up to people and is particular about who she feels comfortable with. I’ve done my best to socialize her by taking her to story times, getting together with friends and family, etc. She generally does well in those environments as long as me or my husband are there, but she has always been selective about who she likes and will go to from day one.

I’m already struggling with being away from her all day, and it hurts to know that she’s having such a hard time. I know adjustments take time, but I’m starting to wonder how long this is supposed to take and at what point I should be concerned that something needs to change.

I’d really appreciate any thoughts, advice, or experiences from other parents who have been through something similar! How long did it take your baby to adjust? Did things veventually get better, and was there anything that helped?

Possibly relevant to add we’ve always practised attachment parenting

I am a FTM to a 1 year old baby girl. This is a genuine question. I am now a full time SAHM & experiencing severe burnout, and so is my partner. My MIL offers to help but only on her terms. Which means she will only watch our daughter at her place & we usually have to book weeks in advance so she’s hard to pin down.

She is wealthy, retired & prioritizing her travels & friends from my husband’s eyes. We moved across country with hopes to have some help here & there- nothing crazy. Maybe a few hours for 1-2x a week. She convinced us to move & that she’d be there to help with our daughter. Now we have a home we bought & are SOL without a village. We have tried to compromise but she’s very controlling.

We’ve been looking for a babysitter but they are so pricy here & we have 1 income down unexpectedly. I just came out of ppd & PPA a few months ago, but still experiencing extreme burnout. We explained that we are fine with having our daughter be watched at her place but need to have her watched here from time to time.

She’s not willing to budge. She’s very controlling. I explained that we are practicing attachment style parenting in a loving & honest, vulnerable way- twice. Both times I was met with no response. We welcome and appreciate our breaks away from our daughter when needed but the fact that she’s not open to watching her over here ever feels weird to me. We even offered to accommodate her here to make she feel at home. She only lives 10 mins away.

Are we being inflexible? Is this a mil control thing? Are you comfortable only dropping your babies off with in laws? Can this affect attachment? I’m still breastfeeding 3x a day btw. We need a break but don’t know if it’s worth the headache with her. She tried to take her to her house she was 6 weeks old & I had to put that boundary up. Smh