Hi all! I (26F) am from the U.S. (California) and I moved to australia a little over two years ago for a masters program. I didn’t anticipate staying past getting my degree, but I’ve decided it’s the best thing for my career to be here. I also have a lot of friends and have a really good life here. I have been home once in the last 2 years and I’ve seen my mom 3 times. I just saw my whole family for a vacation (we all went to spain) and I had so much fun. Now that I’ve gotten back to Australia, I literally cannot stop crying and all I want to do is go home and never leave. I’m in marine research, and Australia is a great place for that, especially with the current climate of money cuts in the U.S. I also get so many more benefits in australia (affordable healthcare, time off, etc) than I would at home. But every time I see my mom, I just want to run back home regardless of how bad of an idea it is. This is not my first time living abroad, but this is definitely the hardest because of how far away I am. Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this? Because I don’t know when or if I’ll ever move back to the U.S. and I can’t fathom the idea of living like this forever and being this sad every time I see my family. Like how in the world do I move past this? Is this just what the rest of my life is? Because I’m not sure I can do it.

For those who spent an adequate amount of time living in a country or know people who did, which country you find to be the easiest and hardest to integrate long term? I mean things like:

• Making deep friends with locals
• Locals recognizing you as a citizen in their day to day interactions and not as a foreigner
• Laws that make it easy for you to obtain citizenship and have system/programs in place to make sure you integrate well

I'm an American expat who has lived in Berlin for 6 years now. I have a really nice affordable flat that I love but other than that, I feel incredibly stuck and unhappy. I lived in NYC before moving here, and was drawn to the city by the music scene (I used to make dance music, but working in nightlife for years sort of turned me off to clubbing).

I'm a freelancer, and it's become more and more difficult to make money. In many ways I feel I've hit a wall and more than anything I just want to feel like I see upward mobility in my career. I went back to NYC for a few months earlier this year and felt so hopeful and happy, and since being back to Berlin in July, I've felt that same stuckness and discontent I felt for the last few years. I should add that I'm a trans woman, and the US is pretty hostile towards us at the moment. I was considering moving back in 2024 but then Trump was elected and I decided to take living abroad as a blessing. I just don't know if I have the drive and fight for making it work here like I used to.
Would love to hear some other opinions, technically I could apply for PR / citizenship some point soon, but I feel that's been the only thing keeping me here. Sunk cost fallacy possibly.

Hey everyone! I’m originally from western EU, my wife originally from Asia, we live in the US and expecting a child soon (might want to have a second one later too)

My wife family is very chill even when we are there, we tend to go out and visit places and take it as a vacation.

My family demands as much time as possible and even then it seems not enough. They expect that we go at least once a year, and when we are there they don’t like that we travel around. Now with the baby they want us to go more so they can see the baby..

I’m tired of spending so much money and PTO visiting family instead of enjoying my vacations somewhere else.

How often do you visit your family? Consider that in my case is +15h flight..

We - a Danish family of four - have been living in the US since 2015. Our youngest (13) was 1.5 when we moved and our oldest (16) was just about to turn five. We have lived in two different locations in the US. Needless to say, this is all they’ve known when it comes to “growing up”.
For various reasons we have decided to move back home when our oldest finishes high school in about a year and a half. Probably to Denmark, but definitely Europe.

We haven’t told our kids this yet, but we will soon, so they have a chance to get used to the thought (even if just a little) and I anticipate a lot of emotions, understandably. I just really want to be as prepared as possible to “catch” both kids and their feelings and all the anger, sadness, distress, uncertainty etc that will undoubtedly follow. They love going home to visit, seeing family and so on, but neither of them would choose to move away from what they know, if it were up to them.

For those of you who have moved children at similar ages, would you share your experiences? What are some things we should absolutely be thinking about when we share this with them? How do we best support them in the time between telling them and leading up to the actual move? What are some things we might not even be thinking about but should in order to understand?

We don’t really doubt that this decision is the right one for our family but we also know it won’t feel that way for the kids, at least not at first. Would love some thoughts here. Thank you in advance.

ETA because someone mentioned this, and it’s a very valid point: they both speak fluent Danish, so language won’t be the biggest issue.

Hi, I have a 4 year old and we just moved to a new country due to work. I was wondering how you cope with your child not having any friends? She is social and we go to parks and playgrounds, where sometimes she finds kids in the same age, but it's still a little tricky due to the language barrier. Today she, for the first time, complained she didn't have anyone to play with when I couldn't play anymore. My heart broke, so how do I fix it? I've been looking for english courses and sports but no success, as well as fb groups. We are currently in Ankara, Türkiye. Any tips are welcomed, thank you!

Throwaway account.

I recently saw a post here about moving from Germany to Asia. The discussion it sparked made me think it might be a good idea to get your perspective on my (very specific) situation. I’m not sure if I’m being baited by all the Germany doomsday scenarios or if I should actually take the plunge. Facts first:

* Married couple in our mid-30s with a 3-year-old kid.

* Both European, and we both have German citizenship.

* We both have 12 years of experience in our respective fields. One of us is a mid-level manager, the other a lower-level manager.

* Around €160k in combined annual income. We both work full-time, and actually more than full-time in reality. We’re used to working overtime and occasionally on Saturdays.

* Medically complex child with a diagnosis. Therapies and early intervention are difficult to access because the healthcare system is overloaded, and insurance doesn’t cover them. In countries like the US and UK, kids with the same diagnosis seem to start early intervention programs much earlier. She (our daughter) might need integration status, but the quality of education in this part of Germany looks kinda bleak.

* We’ve saved up some money and paid off about two-thirds of our apartment in Berlin so far, but covering the therapies and medications privately in Germany is not sustainable.

* There’s a potential job opportunity in Southeast Asia (not Singapore. Felt the need to mention that, since a German salary wouldn’t mean much there anyway) for me. My net salary would be higher than what I receive here due to lower taxes. My partner could also work from there, though at a lower salary due to their company policy.

* We’ve always entertained the idea of living in Southeast Asia for a few years, but that was before having a child.

I’ve had a great life in Germany. But after having a child (with disabilities), everything started sticking out like a sore thumb:

* The fact that we pay all these taxes but never used the Germany safety net (our combined sick leave might amount to 15 days in the last 10 years, let alone unemployment benefits). I’m not saying we never would, but it is less likely than us working long term.

* We pay more than €1,000 a month in health insurance contributions (KV-Beiträge), but all we get is an overstretched healthcare system for our child and an insurer that refuses to cover our kid’s most important therapies. These therapies (and medication) could be paid privately in SEA for 1/5 the price.

* We’re worn out because the system doesn’t seem to be built for two full-time working parents, and we constantly have to juggle meetings, Kita drop-offs and pick-ups. A live-in nanny is financially out of reach, and an average apartment is too small for that anyway. Even occasional nanny support costs much more than a full-time nanny in some other parts of the world.

* Spending long winter evenings in a three-room apartment with a child who regularly has meltdowns, without family or paid support around, is taking a toll on us.

* And lastly, we’re trying to secure our child’s future for when we’re gone by saving up, but that’s not easy considering the high taxes, the German economy not doing great, people losing their jobs left and right, and the fact that we don’t take the German pension system for granted (the last one being subjective).

I’m really sorry for the long post, guys. But I need some perspective. No one around me, not even the many people who’ve lost their jobs, seems particularly concerned about the future.

At first, I thought we needed to get out in order to secure our future. But the fact that no one seems to be freaking out (despite all these layoffs) got me thinking: Am I caught in an echo chamber? Have I been tricked by the “Europe has failed, Germany’s doomsday confirmed” algorithm? Maybe things aren’t getting as bad as I think?

My partner and I already don’t have much work-life balance here in Germany, but how extreme does it get in Southeast Asia? Or maybe working just as hard there makes more sense if it brings some ease to our daily lives in the form of services we can afford?

I’d really appreciate your opinions, especially if you’ve worked in both Germany and Southeast Asia!

For context I am 22 years old and some time ago I moved to a different country with a new job and career. It literally feels impossible as someone in my age range to have an active social life and it is very lonely. Most other expats my age are students and that's where they make friends and build their social circle, i am the youngest person at my workplace and everyone else is 30+, when i try to go to social events that I find through "meetup" or other platforms I am also the youngest person there and the age range starts from 25/30+. I don't even have a problem interacting with people that are a little older than me but for obvious reason they usually get along better with someone that has the same age as them and in most cases no 28 years old want to be friend with a 22 years old. On top of that sometimes people assume that i am younger than what I actually am based on how I look, it feels very isolating to be the youngest person in every room I walk in. if you are around my age and moved abroad for work and not for studying how did you manage to connect with people?

I (31 y/o) moved to Belgium from a Southern European country about six years ago. I lived in the capital first, where I learned French, and am in a smaller town in Flanders now.

On paper, my life is great: I have a job that pays very well, I'm in a loving relationship with a local person for two years now, I am somewhat involved in the community of expats in my town and am actively learning the other local language.

The truth, however, is that I've never felt at home in Belgium. I moved straight after my studies, leaving the city I loved and my group of friends I had since middle school: it wasn't an easy move at all as I was leaving a very stable community and emotional life, but I did it as my studies take you to Belgium basically for sure, and I was looking forward to start my career.

Turns out, I dislike my job and the work environment, which gobbles up a lot of the social life in capital of the country. I've met incredible people and had deep friendships... Only for them to leave every two years or so. I think the emotional instability + career-oriented environment has taken a huge toll on my emotional health, which has led me to resent the capital city and made me move to a smaller town, where my partner lives, in order to find a more stable community and a quieter way of life. I told myself I'd give myself a year, my ultimatum to Belgium, to see if I could finally feel like I could belong here.

Well, now a year has passed, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I have done all the things I could, and yet I feel like it's not enough. I am left lost and speechless, as I told myself I'd move back to my home country if this year didn't work out, but the truth is that the job market is basically non-existent for what I've done and I'd need to take a 50% pay cut to go back. My friends are moving on with their lives and, as much as we'd be an active friend group if I came back, it wouldn't be the same of course. My family lives somewhere else.

I have started feeling very depressed and stuck. My partner has been of great support: they are truly so great and I love them very much, and they try their best to make me feel at ease, but they have told me they wouldn't follow me to my home country, as they've never lived abroad and are quite content with their life here.

I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place, which is turning me into a very bitter person.

Does anyone have any tips on either how to improve my situation here or how to get better clarity? Thank you very much.

I am feeling a bit anxious about the upcoming elections and being an expat from the country feels complicated and a bit lonely. Does anyone else feel that way?

How will you keep yourself calm during the week?

​I moved to a new country two years ago. My first impression wasn't positive, but I gave myself some time. In these two years, I've changed three rooms and three jobs. I'm on my third job now, which I started three months ago, and I really don't like it. I come home with no energy to do anything, feeling completely demotivated. In the meantime, I've also lost the main friendships I had here, and I don't feel like making new ones. I've gone into "energy-saving mode". I'm still persisting in my search for a new job, but I imagine that takes time. There are moments when I believe it's time to change cities, and others when I think that, in the end, life is just like this, that I'd have problems anywhere else, that I'd have to start from scratch, and that maybe it's just me who can't accept normality.

Does anyone have similar experiences?

Hello 👋,

I am a specialized anesthesiologist in Greece, 31 years old, I have been working for two years in a tertiary hospital as a specialist (anesthesia for any case but neonates and transplantations, number of cases: 600 to 750/year), plus private practice (mostly ICU coverage). I have a master's degree in RFMV and I will be getting my B2 French degree in June 2027, and my EDAIC diploma in September 2027. Along with my partner, we are hoping to relocate in Belgium by late 2028 or early 2029, as we are very fond of Brussels and Belgian culture (lived there for some time).

So my questions are:

👀💭What are the odds of finding a job in Brussels as a foreign anesthesiologist? Should I consider switching specialty (I dread the thought so much as I'm in love with what I do!)?

🧠Should I consider learning Dutch as well?

🔍🔍What should I focus on in order to succeed (in case I actually have a chance)?

🥺Any advice? Where should I start looking/applying? I feel kind of lost to be honest!

I've already done an interview with a company that relocates doctors, but haven't heard from them since September.

Thank you for your time 🩷 any information is more than welcome 🤗

Hi Everyone!

I’m 26F, originally from India and currently working in the US. I’ve been exploring opportunities to relocate to Ireland or the Netherlands for a few years and wanted to hear from people who’ve made a similar move.

A little about my background:
2+ years of experience in the US, primarily in IT Business Analysis, project coordination, business systems, and pharma/biotech IT.

Experience working with enterprise applications, digital transformation initiatives, and laboratory IT projects.

I’ve been looking into Ireland’s Critical Skills Employment Permit and the Netherlands’ Highly Skilled Migrant visa. From what I understand, both have potential employer-sponsored pathways for IT professionals, provided the job offer, salary, and other eligibility requirements are met.

I’m particularly interested in continuing in IT Business Analysis, business systems, or pharma IT, rather than switching careers entirely.

I’d love to hear from anyone who has relocated from the US to either of these countries for a similar role.
Did you secure a job offer directly while still working in the US, or through an internal transfer?

Were companies open to sponsoring Business Analyst or IT systems roles, or were sponsorship opportunities mostly for software developers?

Were there any challenges during the work permit process that you hadn’t anticipated?

I’m still researching the requirements and trying to understand how the hiring and sponsorship process works in practice.

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences. Happy to DM if anyone prefers sharing privately.
Thanks in advance!

I'm very fortunate to have both a British and Irish passport and have previously lived in Australia so have some experience with moving abroad and living overseas before and admin/things to consider.

Unfortunately, only a year after moving back from Australia, the NHS left me permanently disabled in a routine surgery for endomitriosis, developing mobility issues and need for daily medications and aids. I'm learning to manage, slowly but surely. It's been three years now. I never wanted to come back here. I was applying for PR for Australia before that accident happened (and was expected to get around 85-90 points on their visa scheme so very gutted).

The reality of living far away and passing any sort of work visa checks or health checks is not realistic. But I do not like life in the UK, and have recently been looking into study/upskilling, as the injury has made my buisness/career difficult to do. I can still work part time. I receive full benefit support here, something I am very grateful for, but the UK social system is keen for me to liquidate my business and assets to pay for care, and I'm finding without private health care to speed things up, the NHS feels quite dangerous to be a patient nowadays. I'm aware however these problems are everywhere, I've heard from similar friends down under for example about cuts to Medicare etc.

I have family in Ireland (Republic) and am visiting with my mother next month. I'm intending to open an EU bank account whilst over there to have money in euros, for the prospect of relocation at some point, which I've been considering heavily with studying, as the fees are significantly lower and likely possible outright from the leftover savings I had towards business expansion and my PR application. However, I am aware as a disabled person living off benefits, I need to be open to the idea of having obstacles in gaining social support or not being entitled to help at all or for a period of time, after moving to a new country. I have found a programme in Dublin and limerick I am considering applying for alongside UK institutions.

If you've moved as a person with a disability to another place*, what did you consider or explore before making the decision? Ive looked at the Irish blue badge scheme, their version of the UKs disability allowance and citizen waiting periods/residency rights etc, as although I'm a citizen, I do not live in that country. My saving grace is having family over there and that the move would likely be planned over the next year for start in September of next year, which gives plenty of time to explore options 😊 thanks in advance! Xx

Edit: typos ,sorry in advance.

So I (28F Indian) have always wanted to move abroad, specifically Europe for better work life balance and quality of living. However, I don't have the funds to pursue a master's so only option is to find a visa sponsored job there. The problem is I do not have any relatives in the countries I'm interested in. (Netherlands, Germany). Has anyone moved to a country without knowing anyone there for a job? How did you build a social circle? Like if you get sick or something, you need someone you can call right? A lot of my friends who moved abroad have told me about the loneliness, despite having gone for masters where it's easier to build a social circle or with a spouse. How did you guys handle the isolation and loneliness?

American -> Scotland, finished my degree, found my partner, found a great job but I am painfully homesick.

I’ve been here a bit over a year, most of my friends are moving back to their home countries, I haven’t made any Scottish friends (not for lack of trying) and I am just sad. I miss my family, I miss the mountains back home, I miss being around other Latinos and having the food.

So many of these subs have people who it’s worked amazing for, who found their tribe right away, who have to deal with stronger cultural differences than I do - so I’m just wondering if it’s a timing thing? If it’s always kind of just this way?

I have gone to the meet ups, and the rock climbing girls nights, the book clubs, the yoga classes - I’ve walked out with a couple of new acquaintances and plans but it’s even harder as adults and I just seem to feel so aware of being the American in the room.

I have an opportunity to expat in Belgium from Italy. My parents are now 73 and 66...what should I do?

Care about myself and expat, or care about also them and stay

I just wanted to share that my wife just made up her mind that she’s ready to make the exit from USA to EU. She’s already calling moving companies! We’ve been talking about this for over ten years and I just wanted to share the news. Cheers! 🥂

Salut tout le monde !

Je suis actuellement en contact avec Expat-U, une agence de recrutement qui accompagne des candidats souhaitant travailler à l'étranger, et j'aimerais recueillir des témoignages de personnes qui sont déjà passées par cette agence.

Avant de prendre une décision, je voudrais mieux comprendre comment ça se passe concrètement, au-delà des informations communiquées pendant les entretiens de recrutement.

J'aimerais notamment savoir :

• Comment s'est déroulé votre processus de recrutement avec Expat-U ?
• Est-ce que l'offre d'emploi correspondait réellement à ce qui vous avait été présenté au départ ?
• Quelles étaient les conditions de travail une fois sur place : salaire, horaires, ambiance, management et avantages ?
• Est-ce que l'accompagnement avant le départ et après l'arrivée était sérieux ?
• Si vous êtes partis travailler à l'étranger, comment avez-vous vécu l'installation, notamment pour le logement et les démarches administratives ?
• Avez-vous rencontré des difficultés ou des mauvaises surprises auxquelles vous ne vous attendiez pas ?
• Avec le recul, recommanderiez-vous de passer par cette agence ?

Je suis particulièrement intéressé par les témoignages de personnes qui ont effectivement commencé à travailler grâce à Expat-U, mais aussi par ceux qui ont finalement décidé de ne pas donner suite.

Je ne cherche pas à dénigrer l'agence, simplement à recueillir des expériences concrètes et indépendantes pour pouvoir prendre une décision éclairée.

Merci beaucoup à ceux qui accepteront de partager leur expérience ! 🙏

Hi, I’m 31F and my partner is 33M. We met in Spain and have been together a year and a half. I am American and he is Spanish and I decided I will go back to the U.S. to be closer to family and have more career opportunities. My partner knew from the beginning of our partnership that I was questioning my future in Spain. Many things happened and I just decided it’s the time to go back. He made it clear he didn’t want to go with me from the beginning.

However, he has been shifting towards joining me. He went to the US for the first time in August with me and said he could see us building a life around DC (I’m from the area). He is a very good guy and we love each other a lot. Me to where I don’t want him to join me if he isn’t happy and he doesn’t want me to stay in Spain if I’m not happy.

He seems to be going back and forth in his head though. He’s told me I deserve a clear answer (he is not the type to just play games) but I know his indecisiveness is coming from it is such a big choice to move so far with a lot of uncertainties.

I feel there’s not many people whom I can speak to about this because most of my family and friends haven’t gone through this or the friends who have they never moved with their partner or they did and it was terrible.

I wanted to hear from people who have been in a similar spot with their partner and how you’ve supported them and also yourself.

Please any advice and stories will be helpful!

Especially those of you in your 20s, what do you do for work, and how did you get into your career?

I’m trying to figure out what career path would give me the freedom to travel, earn a decent income, and enjoy my 20s rather than spend all my time working.

The only careers I can really think of that offer this kind of lifestyle are being a flight attendant, a pilot, or working remotely for a tech company.

I’d love to hear from people who have managed to build this kind of lifestyle. What do you do, how did you get started, and would you recommend it?

I’m open to hearing about any career, not just the ones I’ve mentioned

I put "home" in parentheses because originally I'm not from America but I have lived in America for a good amount of time because my mother is an American. I'm originally from the Caribbean and since my grandmother died in America, I have felt absolutely no obligation to anybody in America who was once part of my life.

However insane this, my mother wants me to be closer to her part of the family who still is specifically in New York. One of her brothers I fell out with personally because he tried to steal money from me and my mother but because she feels obligated in some sort of way, she still wanted me to go visit America again. However throughout the years she becomes less adamant on me visiting America the longer I live abroad.

Another situation was I recently went to an event with people from my country of origin and I met many people who haven't visited in over 7 years and one person told me that they themselves don't really have many family members who live in our country and most of them live abroad as well.

My country of origin Saint Vincent I would gladly move back to if there were incentives for me to but I have no real obligation to visit there either but overall I have a more positive feeling being in Saint Vincent or another country where I have lived Barbados over being back in New York. My grandparents moved to New York and my mother was raised there but for me it has no real warm feelings besides certain cultural nostalgia that I grew up with.

I haven't been in America for over 3 years and Saint Vincent 5 years but I for the former, I am somewhat pushed into feeling obligated vs the ladder where my family members really don't care nor need for me to feel any obligation to visit them.

So to get back to the origin of my question, have you ever felt visiting as an obligation and if you didn't have that obligation would you ever go back to visit?

Hello!

I (28, F) moved to western Ireland about six months ago on my EU passport (I am a dual citizen of an EU country), and I'm just going back and forth a bit about staying here. I have to go back to the US for six months to be in weddings as well as take care of some things, so I'm going to take that time and try to reevaluate. I was just hoping that some people who have lived abroad longer than I have could help me with some things in preparation to come back, or tell me if I should just give up on the whole thing:

1) I really struggled building a community, especially when I was working full time in order to support myself. Because of that, I really don't have any friends here, and the ones I have from home can't come visit for a variety of reasons. I also tried taking classes, but a lot of the ones that were available with my work time frame were online-only or recorded (since I worked 8 am to 8 pm and sometimes didn't get home until 10 pm). I tried to join clubs and gym classes as well, but no one really clicked or tried to do anything past basic pleasantries. If I try again, I'm planning on joining a different church, but even when I did try to join a church choir there was almost no one there my age. I'm also looking at volunteering opportunities in animal shelters and museums. If anyone has any other tips especially on this social front, I would appreciate it.

2) I have a lot of problems navigating the health system here, specifically finding decently priced non-employer insurance, as well as "finding a GP" meaning going on a 6-8 month wait list before I could be referred to a specialist that I need, who might be half the country away. I know that for most of my appointments I can get them done in the next six months that I'm in the US, but if I come back I need to find a more efficient way to approach finding affordable long term health care.

3) Driving / getting an Irish license. I don't know how reasonable it is, especially with the generally available public transport and the fact that getting a European license cancels out my American one, so I can't drive when I go home - where I might need it more, less public transport. In others' experiences, is it worth it? Confusing when you drive in the US?

4) My parents are healthy but elderly, and I really struggle with the idea of not being able to be there for them, especially in the next decade. They have explicitly told me that they will not move to Europe, have plans if they need care and don't want me to 'stop my life' to take care of them. But, I'm an only child and at this point I don't have much of a life to stop. Plus, if there's an emergency, having to get on an 8 hour plane really doesn't seem ideal. And if I do end up starting a family, I want them to be able to be involved grandparents. I really want to know how people are dealing with this, with missing family birthdays, funerals, holidays and generally seeing the rest of your family / friends be together without you.

To anyone who read the whole thing, thank you. I know that was probably a lot, but it's just been really heavy on my heart for a while and I could use some help in weighing my options. For anyone who has advice, thank you in advance!