Have you ever spent months or even years dreaming about moving abroad, feeling super excited about it, only to arrive and immediately think, “What the fuck have I done?”
Like, suddenly everything you wanted feels completely different once it becomes real.
Did that feeling eventually go away? Did you adapt, or did you end up moving back home?
I’m genuinely curious because that’s pretty much what happened to me.

For those who spent an adequate amount of time living in a country or know people who did, which country you find to be the easiest and hardest to integrate long term? I mean things like:

• Making deep friends with locals
• Locals recognizing you as a citizen in their day to day interactions and not as a foreigner
• Laws that make it easy for you to obtain citizenship and have system/programs in place to make sure you integrate well

I just want to see if I’m alone in my opinion here.

This may come off as harsh but it’s really just to give sound advice that maybe people don’t want to hear.

I don’t think that the environment is going to make you happy. A happy person will be happy in almost any environment. So if you’re traveling to run away from your happiness, you’re approaching the problem from the wrong angle.

I found this sub and was surprised that there were so many people posting about being lonely.

I’ve traveled abroad and lived a long time away from my home country and while I did feel lonely at times, I felt so many other feelings as well. I expect a certain amount of people hitting loneliness for the first time and saying “wow that just hit” but I feel like it is a bit much here.

What are your thoughts? I was all excited to see people living it up and traveling.

I'm moving back home to Canada after over 10+ years in London, and going through a lot of emotional processing while packing. I'm having a hard time deciding what to bring home with me, as I've lived all my adult life in the UK, and have gone through multiple phases of identity here. I know this process of shedding is good for me, but the emotional weight is so much. Saying goodbye to parts of you that were never fully realized, deciding what's important for your next chapter, getting rid of traces from an old life that you won't return to... I'm packing bit by bit everyday and end up crying most days. I feel like I should be enjoying my last weeks in London but the move feels so heavy. This is 100% the right decision for me, but I feel like I'm going through a break-up. Any advice on how to lighten this process?

Hi :)

I’m 32F from Slovakia and I’ve been thinking about moving to Rotterdam next year (ideally sometime around April / June)

I’ve lived abroad before, but this time it would be different. I would be moving completely alone, without a partner, friends or an existing social circle there as it was before.

Part of me is genuinely excited about the idea of living in a big, busy city. I’ve always liked the idea of having life abroad and being in a more international environment. But the more seriously I think about it, and especially now that I would actually have to start taking concrete steps to make it happen, the more doubts I have.

So to make the move realistic, I would have to leave my current apartment, temporarily move back in with my parents to save money, deal with the housing situation in the NL, look for a job from abroad in a very competitive market without speaking Dutch and without university degree (but with several years of work experiences), and then rebuild my social life from zero. Ideally, I would only move once I had already secured a job. And then there’s my age... I know 32 is objectively not old, but sometimes it feels like most people who make this kind of move are in their early 20s and i am old for this. So basically, I would be choosing to disrupt my stable and comfortable life simply because I want something different, without knowing whether that change would actually make me happier, be worth it, or even work out at all.

I had already been thinking about moving abroad before, but everything that has been happening in my life lately probably pushed me a little closer to think about it much more, do more research, and maybe eventually start taking actual steps towards it. At the same time, I’m not sure anymore whether this is genuinely a good idea or I am just scared or whether part of me wants to escape from everything, or I simply overthink too much. What confuses me is also that when I imagine giving up on the idea completely, deciding that it’s simply too difficult, and staying where I am, I feel safe but sad at the same time..

Is it even normal to feel all of this???? I know the doubts will not completely disappear. So I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences from people who have been through something similar.

Thank you ❤️

Hi,
Has anyone else dealt with the title? I just moved to Pakistan. I'm a non-religious, light-haired, Swiss-origin, American man who looks vastly different from everyone here. I know very little about muslim and Pakistani culture. Whilst I am learning, I have noticed I feel like eyes are always on me (usually I do get stares more often than not) and I feel like I'm being watched, judged, etc. I don't know the cultural norms of a place like this, especially when it comes to the opposite gender, something that's so normal to interact with where I'm from. I end up overthinking a lot and become a little self-conscious. There's lots of insane poverty here (2nd cheapest country in 2026) and things like arranged marriages, to things like holding hands being illegal. I just don't really know how to act and navigate some things, life's in a super weird spot. Has anyone experienced similar?

What did you do to overcome this stuff or what helped you

Hi all, very much a long shot, but is anyone moving back from the continent to the UK that has a LHD Tesla Model Y ir similar vehicle wanting to trade for a RHD one?

Hi all! I (26F) am from the U.S. (California) and I moved to australia a little over two years ago for a masters program. I didn’t anticipate staying past getting my degree, but I’ve decided it’s the best thing for my career to be here. I also have a lot of friends and have a really good life here. I have been home once in the last 2 years and I’ve seen my mom 3 times. I just saw my whole family for a vacation (we all went to spain) and I had so much fun. Now that I’ve gotten back to Australia, I literally cannot stop crying and all I want to do is go home and never leave. I’m in marine research, and Australia is a great place for that, especially with the current climate of money cuts in the U.S. I also get so many more benefits in australia (affordable healthcare, time off, etc) than I would at home. But every time I see my mom, I just want to run back home regardless of how bad of an idea it is. This is not my first time living abroad, but this is definitely the hardest because of how far away I am. Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this? Because I don’t know when or if I’ll ever move back to the U.S. and I can’t fathom the idea of living like this forever and being this sad every time I see my family. Like how in the world do I move past this? Is this just what the rest of my life is? Because I’m not sure I can do it.

Update: thanks for all the comments everyone, I appreciate the different perspectives. It’s really hard and confusing for me because I have so much going for me here. I have a lot of great friends, I love the work I do, and I’m getting the chance to work developing professional skills in a healthy environment. On any random day, life feels good and I’m happy. It’s just after seeing my family, especially my mom, that makes everything feel like it’s gonna fall apart. I’ve always been this way, I used to intentionally not go home from college for breaks so I wouldn’t get sad. I think just getting older has made me realize how uncertain things are. Reading over the comments does kinda at least solidify for me right now that I can’t be in australia forever it’s just too far. Right now it’s right for me, but I don’t think it can be a real, long term goal. Canada would be a lot more manageable in terms of distance and they also have plenty of marine research happening there as well. I’m so grateful for the fact that I even get to live this life, but time with everyone is finite and I just can’t rationalize one to two times a year for the rest of my life.

I need an american phone number i can call and text from in order to access my bank account. However I don't have any means of activating an american sim or esim within the united states so services like Tello and Mint wont work.

I'm an American expat who has lived in Berlin for 6 years now. I have a really nice affordable flat that I love but other than that, I feel incredibly stuck and unhappy. I lived in NYC before moving here, and was drawn to the city by the music scene (I used to make dance music, but working in nightlife for years sort of turned me off to clubbing).

I'm a freelancer, and it's become more and more difficult to make money. In many ways I feel I've hit a wall and more than anything I just want to feel like I see upward mobility in my career. I went back to NYC for a few months earlier this year and felt so hopeful and happy, and since being back to Berlin in July, I've felt that same stuckness and discontent I felt for the last few years. I should add that I'm a trans woman, and the US is pretty hostile towards us at the moment. I was considering moving back in 2024 but then Trump was elected and I decided to take living abroad as a blessing. I just don't know if I have the drive and fight for making it work here like I used to.
Would love to hear some other opinions, technically I could apply for PR / citizenship some point soon, but I feel that's been the only thing keeping me here. Sunk cost fallacy possibly.

Adding this after the fact: I was in the US May - July, and was able to work there. I have pretty good social connections in the US, so I actually did have experience subletting, working, staying in NYC for 6 weeks earlier this year.

Hey everyone! I’m originally from western EU, my wife originally from Asia, we live in the US and expecting a child soon (might want to have a second one later too)

My wife family is very chill even when we are there, we tend to go out and visit places and take it as a vacation.

My family demands as much time as possible and even then it seems not enough. They expect that we go at least once a year, and when we are there they don’t like that we travel around. Now with the baby they want us to go more so they can see the baby..

I’m tired of spending so much money and PTO visiting family instead of enjoying my vacations somewhere else.

How often do you visit your family? Consider that in my case is +15h flight..

We - a Danish family of four - have been living in the US since 2015. Our youngest (13) was 1.5 when we moved and our oldest (16) was just about to turn five. We have lived in two different locations in the US. Needless to say, this is all they’ve known when it comes to “growing up”.
For various reasons we have decided to move back home when our oldest finishes high school in about a year and a half. Probably to Denmark, but definitely Europe.

We haven’t told our kids this yet, but we will soon, so they have a chance to get used to the thought (even if just a little) and I anticipate a lot of emotions, understandably. I just really want to be as prepared as possible to “catch” both kids and their feelings and all the anger, sadness, distress, uncertainty etc that will undoubtedly follow. They love going home to visit, seeing family and so on, but neither of them would choose to move away from what they know, if it were up to them.

For those of you who have moved children at similar ages, would you share your experiences? What are some things we should absolutely be thinking about when we share this with them? How do we best support them in the time between telling them and leading up to the actual move? What are some things we might not even be thinking about but should in order to understand?

We don’t really doubt that this decision is the right one for our family but we also know it won’t feel that way for the kids, at least not at first. Would love some thoughts here. Thank you in advance.

ETA because someone mentioned this, and it’s a very valid point: they both speak fluent Danish, so language won’t be the biggest issue.

For context I am 22 years old and some time ago I moved to a different country with a new job and career. It literally feels impossible as someone in my age range to have an active social life and it is very lonely. Most other expats my age are students and that's where they make friends and build their social circle, i am the youngest person at my workplace and everyone else is 30+, when i try to go to social events that I find through "meetup" or other platforms I am also the youngest person there and the age range starts from 25/30+. I don't even have a problem interacting with people that are a little older than me but for obvious reason they usually get along better with someone that has the same age as them and in most cases no 28 years old want to be friend with a 22 years old. On top of that sometimes people assume that i am younger than what I actually am based on how I look, it feels very isolating to be the youngest person in every room I walk in. if you are around my age and moved abroad for work and not for studying how did you manage to connect with people?

Hi, I have a 4 year old and we just moved to a new country due to work. I was wondering how you cope with your child not having any friends? She is social and we go to parks and playgrounds, where sometimes she finds kids in the same age, but it's still a little tricky due to the language barrier. Today she, for the first time, complained she didn't have anyone to play with when I couldn't play anymore. My heart broke, so how do I fix it? I've been looking for english courses and sports but no success, as well as fb groups. We are currently in Ankara, Türkiye. Any tips are welcomed, thank you!

Throwaway account.

I recently saw a post here about moving from Germany to Asia. The discussion it sparked made me think it might be a good idea to get your perspective on my (very specific) situation. I’m not sure if I’m being baited by all the Germany doomsday scenarios or if I should actually take the plunge. Facts first:

* Married couple in our mid-30s with a 3-year-old kid.

* Both European, and we both have German citizenship.

* We both have 12 years of experience in our respective fields. One of us is a mid-level manager, the other a lower-level manager.

* Around €160k in combined annual income. We both work full-time, and actually more than full-time in reality. We’re used to working overtime and occasionally on Saturdays.

* Medically complex child with a diagnosis. Therapies and early intervention are difficult to access because the healthcare system is overloaded, and insurance doesn’t cover them. In countries like the US and UK, kids with the same diagnosis seem to start early intervention programs much earlier. She (our daughter) might need integration status, but the quality of education in this part of Germany looks kinda bleak.

* We’ve saved up some money and paid off about two-thirds of our apartment in Berlin so far, but covering the therapies and medications privately in Germany is not sustainable.

* There’s a potential job opportunity in Southeast Asia (not Singapore. Felt the need to mention that, since a German salary wouldn’t mean much there anyway) for me. My net salary would be higher than what I receive here due to lower taxes. My partner could also work from there, though at a lower salary due to their company policy.

* We’ve always entertained the idea of living in Southeast Asia for a few years, but that was before having a child.

I’ve had a great life in Germany. But after having a child (with disabilities), everything started sticking out like a sore thumb:

* The fact that we pay all these taxes but never used the Germany safety net (our combined sick leave might amount to 15 days in the last 10 years, let alone unemployment benefits). I’m not saying we never would, but it is less likely than us working long term.

* We pay more than €1,000 a month in health insurance contributions (KV-Beiträge), but all we get is an overstretched healthcare system for our child and an insurer that refuses to cover our kid’s most important therapies. These therapies (and medication) could be paid privately in SEA for 1/5 the price.

* We’re worn out because the system doesn’t seem to be built for two full-time working parents, and we constantly have to juggle meetings, Kita drop-offs and pick-ups. A live-in nanny is financially out of reach, and an average apartment is too small for that anyway. Even occasional nanny support costs much more than a full-time nanny in some other parts of the world.

* Spending long winter evenings in a three-room apartment with a child who regularly has meltdowns, without family or paid support around, is taking a toll on us.

* And lastly, we’re trying to secure our child’s future for when we’re gone by saving up, but that’s not easy considering the high taxes, the German economy not doing great, people losing their jobs left and right, and the fact that we don’t take the German pension system for granted (the last one being subjective).

I’m really sorry for the long post, guys. But I need some perspective. No one around me, not even the many people who’ve lost their jobs, seems particularly concerned about the future.

At first, I thought we needed to get out in order to secure our future. But the fact that no one seems to be freaking out (despite all these layoffs) got me thinking: Am I caught in an echo chamber? Have I been tricked by the “Europe has failed, Germany’s doomsday confirmed” algorithm? Maybe things aren’t getting as bad as I think?

My partner and I already don’t have much work-life balance here in Germany, but how extreme does it get in Southeast Asia? Or maybe working just as hard there makes more sense if it brings some ease to our daily lives in the form of services we can afford?

I’d really appreciate your opinions, especially if you’ve worked in both Germany and Southeast Asia!

I just wrapped up a consulting project in South Korea and I'm back in the US. It was probably one of the best experiences in my life. I was there for almost a year and I miss it. My client wants me to join them from my firm and I was considering it. I know their work life balance isn't the best but I worked with their team and it was a global company so it wasn't the typical Korean work culture. The hiring manager was the project sponsor so we're on good terms.

The main thing is salary cut, but also during my time, I surprisingly rarely met anyone working any American working as a consultant. I met maybe 2 developers, and the rest were teachers. No offence but a good portion of them just seemed like they became teachers just to date Koreans, both men and women. Just had a hard time clicking with them beyond drinking, just felt like there was a fundamental difference in terms of life and career outlook.. Not sure where to look for more corporate young profesionals., my developper friends seemed to have met a lot of westerners at tech conferences and networking events, but I'm in consulting and I could not meet anyone else. A few digital nomads but overall just very few corporate professionals. I just also liked having this big network in NYC.

Hello 👋,

I am a specialized anesthesiologist in Greece, 31 years old, I have been working for two years in a tertiary hospital as a specialist (anesthesia for any case but neonates and transplantations, number of cases: 600 to 750/year), plus private practice (mostly ICU coverage). I have a master's degree in RFMV and I will be getting my B2 French degree in June 2027, and my EDAIC diploma in September 2027. Along with my partner, we are hoping to relocate in Belgium by late 2028 or early 2029, as we are very fond of Brussels and Belgian culture (lived there for some time).

So my questions are:

👀💭What are the odds of finding a job in Brussels as a foreign anesthesiologist? Should I consider switching specialty (I dread the thought so much as I'm in love with what I do!)?

🧠Should I consider learning Dutch as well?

🔍🔍What should I focus on in order to succeed (in case I actually have a chance)?

🥺Any advice? Where should I start looking/applying? I feel kind of lost to be honest!

I've already done an interview with a company that relocates doctors, but haven't heard from them since September.

Thank you for your time 🩷 any information is more than welcome 🤗

I am feeling a bit anxious about the upcoming elections and being an expat from the country feels complicated and a bit lonely. Does anyone else feel that way?

How will you keep yourself calm during the week?

I (31 y/o) moved to Belgium from a Southern European country about six years ago. I lived in the capital first, where I learned French, and am in a smaller town in Flanders now.

On paper, my life is great: I have a job that pays very well, I'm in a loving relationship with a local person for two years now, I am somewhat involved in the community of expats in my town and am actively learning the other local language.

The truth, however, is that I've never felt at home in Belgium. I moved straight after my studies, leaving the city I loved and my group of friends I had since middle school: it wasn't an easy move at all as I was leaving a very stable community and emotional life, but I did it as my studies take you to Belgium basically for sure, and I was looking forward to start my career.

Turns out, I dislike my job and the work environment, which gobbles up a lot of the social life in capital of the country. I've met incredible people and had deep friendships... Only for them to leave every two years or so. I think the emotional instability + career-oriented environment has taken a huge toll on my emotional health, which has led me to resent the capital city and made me move to a smaller town, where my partner lives, in order to find a more stable community and a quieter way of life. I told myself I'd give myself a year, my ultimatum to Belgium, to see if I could finally feel like I could belong here.

Well, now a year has passed, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I have done all the things I could, and yet I feel like it's not enough. I am left lost and speechless, as I told myself I'd move back to my home country if this year didn't work out, but the truth is that the job market is basically non-existent for what I've done and I'd need to take a 50% pay cut to go back. My friends are moving on with their lives and, as much as we'd be an active friend group if I came back, it wouldn't be the same of course. My family lives somewhere else.

I have started feeling very depressed and stuck. My partner has been of great support: they are truly so great and I love them very much, and they try their best to make me feel at ease, but they have told me they wouldn't follow me to my home country, as they've never lived abroad and are quite content with their life here.

I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place, which is turning me into a very bitter person.

Does anyone have any tips on either how to improve my situation here or how to get better clarity? Thank you very much.

Hi Everyone!

I’m 26F, originally from India and currently working in the US. I’ve been exploring opportunities to relocate to Ireland or the Netherlands for a few years and wanted to hear from people who’ve made a similar move.

A little about my background:
2+ years of experience in the US, primarily in IT Business Analysis, project coordination, business systems, and pharma/biotech IT.

Experience working with enterprise applications, digital transformation initiatives, and laboratory IT projects.

I’ve been looking into Ireland’s Critical Skills Employment Permit and the Netherlands’ Highly Skilled Migrant visa. From what I understand, both have potential employer-sponsored pathways for IT professionals, provided the job offer, salary, and other eligibility requirements are met.

I’m particularly interested in continuing in IT Business Analysis, business systems, or pharma IT, rather than switching careers entirely.

I’d love to hear from anyone who has relocated from the US to either of these countries for a similar role.
Did you secure a job offer directly while still working in the US, or through an internal transfer?

Were companies open to sponsoring Business Analyst or IT systems roles, or were sponsorship opportunities mostly for software developers?

Were there any challenges during the work permit process that you hadn’t anticipated?

I’m still researching the requirements and trying to understand how the hiring and sponsorship process works in practice.

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences. Happy to DM if anyone prefers sharing privately.
Thanks in advance!

​I moved to a new country two years ago. My first impression wasn't positive, but I gave myself some time. In these two years, I've changed three rooms and three jobs. I'm on my third job now, which I started three months ago, and I really don't like it. I come home with no energy to do anything, feeling completely demotivated. In the meantime, I've also lost the main friendships I had here, and I don't feel like making new ones. I've gone into "energy-saving mode". I'm still persisting in my search for a new job, but I imagine that takes time. There are moments when I believe it's time to change cities, and others when I think that, in the end, life is just like this, that I'd have problems anywhere else, that I'd have to start from scratch, and that maybe it's just me who can't accept normality.

Does anyone have similar experiences?

I'm very fortunate to have both a British and Irish passport and have previously lived in Australia so have some experience with moving abroad and living overseas before and admin/things to consider.

Unfortunately, only a year after moving back from Australia, the NHS left me permanently disabled in a routine surgery for endomitriosis, developing mobility issues and need for daily medications and aids. I'm learning to manage, slowly but surely. It's been three years now. I never wanted to come back here. I was applying for PR for Australia before that accident happened (and was expected to get around 85-90 points on their visa scheme so very gutted).

The reality of living far away and passing any sort of work visa checks or health checks is not realistic. But I do not like life in the UK, and have recently been looking into study/upskilling, as the injury has made my buisness/career difficult to do. I can still work part time. I receive full benefit support here, something I am very grateful for, but the UK social system is keen for me to liquidate my business and assets to pay for care, and I'm finding without private health care to speed things up, the NHS feels quite dangerous to be a patient nowadays. I'm aware however these problems are everywhere, I've heard from similar friends down under for example about cuts to Medicare etc.

I have family in Ireland (Republic) and am visiting with my mother next month. I'm intending to open an EU bank account whilst over there to have money in euros, for the prospect of relocation at some point, which I've been considering heavily with studying, as the fees are significantly lower and likely possible outright from the leftover savings I had towards business expansion and my PR application. However, I am aware as a disabled person living off benefits, I need to be open to the idea of having obstacles in gaining social support or not being entitled to help at all or for a period of time, after moving to a new country. I have found a programme in Dublin and limerick I am considering applying for alongside UK institutions.

If you've moved as a person with a disability to another place*, what did you consider or explore before making the decision? Ive looked at the Irish blue badge scheme, their version of the UKs disability allowance and citizen waiting periods/residency rights etc, as although I'm a citizen, I do not live in that country. My saving grace is having family over there and that the move would likely be planned over the next year for start in September of next year, which gives plenty of time to explore options 😊 thanks in advance! Xx

Edit: typos ,sorry in advance.

So I (28F Indian) have always wanted to move abroad, specifically Europe for better work life balance and quality of living. However, I don't have the funds to pursue a master's so only option is to find a visa sponsored job there. The problem is I do not have any relatives in the countries I'm interested in. (Netherlands, Germany). Has anyone moved to a country without knowing anyone there for a job? How did you build a social circle? Like if you get sick or something, you need someone you can call right? A lot of my friends who moved abroad have told me about the loneliness, despite having gone for masters where it's easier to build a social circle or with a spouse. How did you guys handle the isolation and loneliness?