A couple of volunteer departments around me have exterior only people on their department. Why would they do that and are they looked down on by career guys and or other volunteer people?

There’s not a lot of jobs where everyone watches you do your job. Does it make you self conscious or more confident?

What do you put on your axe belt and scabbard to protect the leather?
Also looking for tips for the axe handle for stain or protective coating

For anyone who is interested in becoming a firefighter, what YouTube videos would you recommend watching as a beginner? I’m interested in learning more about firefighting, the fire academy, and what firefighters do on a daily basis.

I’ve been a full time firefighter for 10 years. Fairly busy department, have gotten some years at a busy house, I feel I have proven myself as a fireman, and I am good at my job.
I have cancer and have had some medical problems. I’ve gone to the hospital more than a few times. The other day we were doing some basic shit at work, nothing strenuous just walking around a block, and my BP shot up, they sent me to the hospital.
I’m so tired of the hospital, I hate that fucking place.
I’ve fallen out at a fire or two. It’s like when everyone wakes up in the morning, their body starts at a “1” but due to cancer mine starts at a “zero” it’s like I’m playing catch-up.
I work out. Im in better shape than 90% of my department I would say is a fair estimate. But they don’t fall out and I do. It’s very frustrating.
I don’t know what else I would do if I wasn’t a firefighter. I’m half way to being vested.
I’m unsure about what to do or where the line is when I say “my body can’t do this anymore, and I need to do something else”. I definitely don’t have the qualifications to do much else so I would have to go back to school.

Hoping for advice on improving my firefighter rescues during SAR. I've done it a few times so far blindfolded and I'm gassed every single time. I'm the smallest person and the lightest in my class by a good 60-80 lbs even as a guy, but haven't had any issues keeping up for any drill or ladder throw except for firefighter rescues. I'm in good shape but I do have to do some throws/drags my own way since I don't have the size/strength of the rest of my class.

I've figured out my technique for going down stairs and regular rescues, but yesterday had to drag out the heaviest guys by their legs. It was a miserable and pathetic time dragging them inch by inch out of the building. I was specifically made to pull on the leg end for the scenario so I couldn't grab their SCBA. I tried using my weight to fall back but couldn't get the leverage or force since I had to be on my knees. I tried to use my legs to push forward but either I was too tired or weak because that barely worked. I somehow managed to complete the drill but probably only because I had multiple instructors screaming at me the entire time.

I know the academy is designed to push you to your limits, but between the burnout and the constant pressure by the instructors to be faster and be perfect, it's really hard to feel like I'm not cut out for this. We move on to hoses soon, but the instructors have only promised things to get harder.