32M, Single

I used to work in Sales. Basic salary was ₱23k per month, but with commissions, I could bring home a minimum of ₱80k per month after taxes. At one point, I had a million pesos sitting in my bank account.

The last 3 years were probably the best years of my life, or at least that's what I thought.

Bought my first motorcycle in cash. After a month, bought my first iPhone. Bought a fully spec'd out MacBook M2 with insurance pa.

After every shift, diretso sa brunch spots or cafés. I was spending at least ₱500–₱1k per day on weekdays alone.

Nagla-lifestyle with friends. Almost every Saturday, gastos ng ₱4k–₱7k. Hindi pa kasama yung expenses ko every Sunday para mag-"rest" (kain + lingam). Spent at least ₱4k every couple of weeks on weed.

After 8 months, bought my first car (hulugan).

2024–2025

Same spending habits. Same lifestyle.

Traveled to Thailand on a 9 day vacation twice! Bought so many clothes there to the point na halos lahat ng panggala ko galing Thailand. I even managed to get a tailor-made suit in Thailand.Pambahay ko naman Uniqlo Airism. Naging pampahay ko siya is because before clocking in for work, I'd go to Ayala (In front of our office building) I'm always 30-45minutes early at work.

Traveled to Vietnam twice. Yung second visit ko, parang weekend getaway nalang. Lipad, gala, kain, tapos uwi agad. Ganun kadali gumastos noon.

Nag-upgrade pa yung spending habits ko because of my new vice, which was designer perfumes. Every month, bili ng bagong perfume. At least ₱8k a pop. Kapag nag birthday friends ko, matik perfume bigay ko.

While working, I wanted to venture into the web design business since ito rin yung line of work ko.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko, I'm good at Sales. I was consistently in the top 2 or 3 sa previous company ko, and I knew how this space worked. I knew how to sell, how to talk to clients, and how to close deals. So I figured, why not do it for myself?

November 2025, I decided to resign because I wanted to do my own thing.

On top of the web design business, I also ventured into another business in the wholesale and retail space. Nalugi after just 2 months. Around ₱200k down the drain.

But here's where I really fucked up.

My spending habits didn't change.

Wala nang sweldo. Wala nang commissions. Wala nang consistent na perang pumapasok.

Pero yung lifestyle ko, parang employed pa rin ako earning ₱80k+ a month.

In my mind, I still had money in the bank. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, I could live off my savings for 4 months. Enough time to rest, recover, and eventually focus on my businesses.

I wanted to rest kasi years of working the graveyard shift really fucked me up.

And I actually enjoyed not working.

For the first time in years, naging morning person ako. I could wake up without an alarm. Hindi na kailangan matulog habang maliwanag sa labas. Wala nang pressure to hit monthly quotas. Wala nang boss. Wala nang graveyard shift.

I was finally living on my own schedule.

Pero hindi ko na-realize na habang ine-enjoy ko yung freedom na yun, unti-unti nang nauubos yung savings ko.

Yung dating ₱1M sa bank account, pababa nang pababa.

And instead of adjusting my lifestyle, I kept telling myself na I'll figure things out eventually.

Until almost a year had passed, and I had burned through all my savings.

Take note, I don't gamble, nor do I spend money on girls. Hindi rin ako mahilig mangutang para lang may panggastos. Most especially hindi ako nag papautang.

I just got so used to living a certain lifestyle that I didn't realize how much it was costing me until the money was gone.

Fast forward to today.

I'm 32 years old.

I'm now 2 months behind on my car payments. ₱20k per month yung amortization, plus around ₱9k per week sa gas back when I was still maintaining that lifestyle.

Malapit na ang Christmas, and for the first time in years, I'm genuinely panicking kasi wala akong maiaambag sa family ko.

I live with my mother.

Imagine going from having a million pesos in your bank account, buying whatever you wanted, traveling whenever you felt like it, treating yourself and the people around you, to suddenly worrying about something as simple as what you can contribute sa family mo this Christmas.

I also broke up with my girlfriend because of the pressure, guilt, and regret. I felt like I had too much going on financially and mentally, and I couldn't handle everything at once.

And before anyone says, "Why not just work on your web design business?"

I'm trying.

I really am.

Pero eto yung part na hindi ko maintindihan sa sarili ko.

Every night, I tell myself, "Bukas, babawi ako. I'll start working seriously. I'll make calls, find clients, close deals, and get myself out of this mess."

And the motivation is there. As in, grabe yung drive ko to turn things around.

Pero pagdating ng oras na kailangan ko nang magtrabaho, bigla nalang akong napapatulala.

I'll sit in front of my laptop, ready to work, tapos biglang papasok lahat ng negative thoughts.

"Putangina, paano ko naubos yung isang milyon?"

"Bakit ako nag-resign?"

"Bakit hindi ako nag-ipon nang maayos?"

"Kung nag-stay nalang sana ako sa trabaho, magkano na kaya pera ko ngayon?"

"Paano kung hindi mag-work yung business?"

And before I know it, I've already wasted an hour just thinking about everything I did wrong.

Then I end up procrastinating.

Scroll sa phone. Watch random videos. Do something else. Anything to avoid thinking about my situation.

Tapos gabi na naman.

Same promise.

"Bukas ulit. Babawi na talaga ako."

And the cycle repeats.

What's frustrating is that I know I can sell. I've done it before. As a matter of fact, I've closed couple of clients na sa Web design business. I've made good money before. I know what it's like to work hard and see the results.

Pero ngayon, parang sarili ko na mismo yung hindi ko kayang kontrolin.

I went from being someone who could consistently bring home ₱80k+ a month to someone who struggles to even start working.

And here I am now.

32 years old. No savings. Behind on car payments. Business isn't generating enough money. Living with my mother. Single. And currently sitting at negative ₱280,000.

I know a lot of this is because of my own decisions.

Nobody forced me to buy those things. Nobody forced me to travel. Nobody forced me to resign. Nobody forced me to maintain a lifestyle I could no longer afford.

I made those decisions.

And now I'm dealing with the consequences.

Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ko ito pinost. Maybe I just wanted to get everything off my chest. Maybe gusto ko lang makarinig ng opinion ng ibang tao na hindi ako personally kilala.

I don't need anyone to tell me that everything will be okay.

I know I fucked up.

Say whatever you want to say. Good or bad. Advice, criticism, or a slap in the face.

If you've been in a similar situation, I'd genuinely like to know how you managed to get yourself out of it.

Because right now, I honestly don't know where to start.

Basically the title. I can no longer pay my rent, I voluntarily left because I don't want to be forced out.

Left my clothes and belongings on my brother's place. I cant stay or sleep there however, complicated story.

Right now, I'm sitting on my motorcycle at the side of the road, trying to remember which gas station has a bidet. Also haven't figured out where to shower. I have work later at 3am. 2 months in my first BPO.

The thought of what the coming days would look like terrifies me, really. I need to 'Angkas' or Lalamove every after shift so I wont zero out my balance. Then I need top up and gas so I could do it again. I dont even know where to sleep besides bus stops. That, plus the fact that I've had too many close calls on the road due to exhaustion. I should really add my brother and his kids as my beneficiaries.

Next closest kin is very far away. They're in Commonwealth, my work's over at Dasmarinas, Cavite. I did that journey while booking and working for a week. Almost hit the guard rails on a bridge cause I dozed off for a few seconds.

I have 1k left on my wallet.

I'm terrified. But I can't show it. I just needed to vent.

update: Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. Especially for reaching out. I'm gonna go ahead and have a bit of sleep in the quarters, then I'll head straight to work. Thank you for helping me get a boost from what was the lowest point in my life so far. I'll forever be greatful.

My father had recently passed away and on the same day that he did, I was informed that I would be one of the several people who would be laid off in the company. I was told that I had 30 days til termination and in that period I can just relax and not need to regularly report. During the next couple weeks, I would furiously juggle with the wake, funeral and job applications.

Luckily enough, despite talks of a bad job market, I was scoring interviews left and right and got to secure 2 offers to choose from in 3 weeks and took the one more centered around 99% wfh (report to office if blackouts happen lol) as well as finally crossing the 6 digit mark.

This week is my last in the current company and the team is setting aside a budget for a send-off. It was a very turbulent month but happy to say I ended it on a high note.

Sometimes I miss being a nurse sa hospital. Last year I worked as an oncology nurse, taking care of people with cancer. Tbh, I found fulfillment sa trabaho na yun. I really built rapport and relationships with our patients since most of them paulit ulit bumabalik sa chemotherapy. I remember once Christmas, sabi nung kasama ko may naghahanap daw sakin na patient tas nagbigay sya ng food palagi daw inuulit nung patient bigyan daw ako 🤣 ako kasi first naghandle sakanya and she was very afraid of needles, maybe thats why she remembered me.

Kaso may fulfillment nga but the pay was bad, it was like 20-25k lang. So now I work sa soft nursing earning twice my salary sa hospital. I’m very happy because of the work-life balance. I got to travel, buy things I never thought I could and save a loooot of money.

But seeing my workmates or past classmates sa hospital sa mga ig stories, minsan namimiss ko sya 🥲 hahays. Maybe not now muna, maybe sooner or later I could go back to the hospital na and serve people. Magpapayaman muna ako dito, save and experience things di ko ma experience with a hospital job.

Hey guys!

I am 31[M] and I am in a very unhappy place in life. 😅

I am in a relationship with a person I am not in love with anymore. I have tried telling my gf about how unhappy I am already and how my love had already faded. I have tried telling her for months. I have tried breaking up with her to end things amicably but she just does not want to hear me. She has always been that way. Kapag mag-oopen up ako about how I feel, she just would not respond. I feel like my feelings are not being taken care of. Para bang palaging ako lang yung kailangang magtake into consideration ng kung anong nararamdaman niya. Pero a question always hangs behind my head. "Paano naman ako?". I guess yan ang reason why I slowly drifted from her. I want to be in a relationship where I am also seen and heard. Na nahihirapan din ako at may mga bagay na nararamdaman.

Sa tuwing makikipaghiwalay ako sa kanya, iiyak siya. Tapos masasaktan din ako. Of course, special siya sa akin. Pero anong gagawin ko? I tried being open pero every time, she shuts me off. Di manlang ako rereplyan. Di ako kakausapin tapos eventually, okay na ulit.

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. This has been causing me a lot of stress. Hindi ko na alam ang mararamdaman ko.

EDIT:

I forgot to mention she lives in my place. Which makes the leaving part is more difficult. 😅

gets niyo ba yung point ko? like, do you get what i mean? kasi honestly, hindi naman ako tamad. i'm not the type of person na nakaupo lang, waiting for luck or some miracle to happen para umayos ang buhay. i work hard, i show up every single day, i do what i'm supposed to do, i try my best to be responsible and make the right decisions.

pero minsan, mapapa question ka na lang talaga sa life, like, "girl, what else do you want from me? i'm literally trying my best here." as a single mom, it's not just about me anymore. hindi pwedeng basta mag give up kapag pagod na, hindi pwedeng mag quit kapag overwhelming na. every decision, every bill, every little sacrifice comes with a responsibility kasi may little human being na naka depend sa'yo. and honestly? it's a lot.

nakakapagod yung paulit-ulit na cycle na parang walang katapusan. work, pay the bills, budget, don't spend on unnecessary things, repeat. tapos pagdating ng kinsenas or katapusan, you're just there staring at your payslip like, "wait lang, hindi ba kakasahod ko lang? where did my money go?" hahaha, but also, hindi siya funny.

kasi at this point, parang hindi ka na nagtatrabaho para makaipon, mag invest sa sarili mo, or actually enjoy life. you're literally working just to survive until the next payday. like, hello? is this really what adulting is supposed to be? kasi if yes, i would like to speak to the manager. and let's be real, ang mahal na mabuhay ngayon.

yung dating basic necessities lang, parang luxury items na ngayon. groceries? expensive. bills? expensive. needs ng anak mo? expensive. even trying to live a simple, decent life feels like a whole financial project and the funny thing is, i have a stable corporate job. i work hard, i know how to handle responsibilities. i'm doing what people always tell you to do para magkaroon ng magandang future.

pero minsan, kahit gano ka ka-responsible, parang one unexpected emergency lang, and boom! goodbye, budget. goodbye, savings. back to zero ka na naman, girl. (っ╥﹏╥ς)

and honestly, there are days when life gets so overwhelming na even the options you thought you had already outgrown start looking like possibilities again. minsan, naiisip ko, "what if bumalik na lang ako sa pagiging hostess?" not because it's my dream, not because it's the life i want and definitely not because i'm proud of even considering it again. but because sometimes, when the bills keep piling up, when your salary is never enough, and when you feel like you're carrying the entire world on your shoulders, you start thinking about what could help you get through the situation and that's the part people don't always understand.

sometimes, survival makes you consider things you never thought you'd consider again. hindi dahil gusto mo talaga, but because you're tired. you're overwhelmed, you want to breathe, you want to stop worrying about money for even just one second. you just want to make sure that your child has everything they need without having to constantly calculate if you can still afford everything after paying the bills.

because tbh, being a mom while trying to keep yourself financially afloat is a different kind of pressure. you can't just think about what you want, you have to think about what your child needs, what your future looks like, and how you're going to make everything work even when the numbers don't make sense anymore. but then, i remind myself why i left that life in the first place.

i didn't work this hard just to end up going back to a chapter i spent so much time trying to close. i worked hard to build a new direction for myself, i worked hard to enter the corporate world, i worked hard to create a life that i could be proud of and more importantly, a life that i want my child to grow up in and girl, i know what i've been through, i know how much courage it took for me to start over.

kaya kahit may moments na i'm tempted to go back simply because life is getting harder than i expected, i know deep inside na that's not the life i'm trying to build anymore. i want a better life, yes. i want financial freedom, i want to stop living paycheck to paycheck, i want to save money without feeling guilty, i want to buy things my child needs without having to sacrifice something else.

but more than anything, i want to get there without losing myself in the process, i want to succeed without having to abandon the dreams i've worked so hard for, i want to prove to myself that i can build a good life, even if the journey takes longer than i expected. so for now, kahit mahirap, kahit nakakapagod, kahit minsan gusto ko na lang humiga and pretend na wala akong bills to pay, i will keep going.

one day at a time, one paycheck at a time, one little win at a time. because i still believe na someday, things will get better. someday, i won't have to choose between paying the bills and building my future. someday, an unexpected expense won't automatically mean panic. someday, i'll be able to give my child a comfortable life without constantly worrying if i have enough left for myself and someday, i hope i'll look back at this version of myself and say,

"girl, thank you for not giving up, thank you for choosing yourself again and again, even when life gave you a hundred reasons to doubt your decisions. thank you for not letting temporary struggles make permanent decisions for you." because maybe, just maybe, the life i'm praying for is taking longer to happen because i'm still in the middle of building it and i owe it to myself to see what happens if i keep going.

to every single mom and every person who's doing everything right but still struggling to make ends meet, i hope you know na hindi ka failure just because you're having a hard time. you're not lazy, you're not behind in life and you're definitely not less deserving of a beautiful future just because you're struggling financially right now. we're just trying to survive in a world where surviving has become so expensive and hopefully, one day, we won't just be surviving anymore.

we'll finally get to live. ♡

Masaya ako na naninirahan padin ako with my parents house kasi nakakasama ko sila and mas makakasave ako dahil di nako magbabayad ng rent, bills and etc.on my own kung mag move out ako eh wala rin naman pang move out. Kung sa bahay ng parents ko, nagbabayad din naman ako pero atleast may kahati ako. That’s the pros.

Pero ang hirap din pala kapag at your right age sa kanila ka pa rin umaasa kasi yung sweldo ko sakto lang para makasurvive. When it comes din sa decision making parang I can’t decide on my own parang lahat ng decisions ko dapat ko pa ipaalam sa kanila kasi nga umaasa pa ako sa kanila so dapat ko rin e consider yung decision nila. Like for example ngayon gusto ko mag abroad pero sila mismo yung may ayaw so para bang kahit gaano ko gustuhin parang malabo na mangyari kasi sa kanila ako umaasa sila yung magbibigay sakin ng pera pang abroad.

I just lost the only relationship I’ve ever known.
We were high school sweethearts. He pursued me when we were younger, and somehow, the boy who once did everything to win my heart became the person who made me question whether I was even worth loving.

We started dating when I was around 14. He pursued me because he was physically attracted to me, too. But now, things are so different. My self-esteem has dropped so much because of everything that happened between us. I lost 10 kg during our relationship. We were literally kids. We grew up together, went through different phases of life together, became classmates again in senior high school and college, and eventually lived together during the pandemic. For almost nine years, he was part of practically every version of myself I knew.

He was my first everything. My first love, my first serious relationship, and the person I genuinely thought I would grow old with. When I imagined my future, he was always there. I couldn’t picture one without him because, for the longest time, I never had to.

We were both nursing students, nag nursing ako because of him and we eventually became registered nurses. We had so many plans for our future, and I genuinely believed that after everything we had been through, we’d finally get to enjoy the life we worked so hard for.

But somewhere along the way, things changed.
I don’t even know how to explain it. Maybe it happened gradually, or maybe I was just too in love to acknowledge what was happening right in front of me.

He started treating me differently. The respect disappeared, and I slowly became someone who was always begging for the bare minimum from the person who once pursued me so hard.
He cheated on me multiple times throughout college HAHAHAHA fight or flight ako everyday, actually im not living anymore, i’m just surviving na lang.

And the part I’m most ashamed to admit is that whenever he cheated, I was the one who chased after him. I was the one trying to fix things, asking him to stay, trying to understand why he could do something that hurt me so much and still expect me to love him afterward.

I KNOW. I KNOW. I sound so stupid when I look back at it now. I’ve asked myself the same question a thousand times: Why did I keep choosing someone who kept showing me that he wasn’t choosing me?
But I think it’s difficult to understand unless you’ve experienced loving someone for that long. It wasn’t as simple as leaving a boyfriend. I was trying to let go of the person who had been there for almost half my life. Before all of that It was always us against the world, at his worst sinamahan ko sya, at his best ako yung first thing na iniiwan nya.

I gave him chances I probably shouldn’t have. My self-esteem became so low that I started comparing myself to other girls, wondering what they had that I didn’t. I questioned my looks, my worth, and whether I was somehow failing as a girlfriend.
Imagine being cheated on and somehow ending up feeling like you’re the one who isn’t enough.
That’s what those years did to me.
And despite everything, I stayed.

We were living together during the pandemic, sharing a space and a life.
I don’t think people understand how difficult it is to leave a relationship when the good memories are real, too. It’s not like every single day was terrible. There were moments I will probably always remember fondly, and that’s part of what makes this so painful.

But the good memories don’t erase what happened.
Before our boards, he physically hurt me.
I’m still trying to understand how someone I loved that much could do that to me. Sometimes I wonder why he could treat other people differently, why it seemed like I was the person he could do these things to. I kept asking myself what I did to deserve being treated that way.

I know, logically, that I didn’t deserve it. But knowing something in your head doesn’t automatically make your heart believe it.

After we passed the PNLE, I thought maybe things would finally get better. After everything we had survived together, I thought we would finally get to start the next chapter of our lives.
Instead, our relationship ended.

There was no proper goodbye. No conversation that gave me the answers I had been searching for. No real closure that helped me understand how we went from being two kids who fell in love to two people who could barely recognize what we had become.
I didn’t even get the ending I thought nine years deserved.

And then I found out he was dating someone else.
Someone from our own batch. Na sinend saakin kahapon lang na caught sila sa coffee shop.
I can’t even describe what that felt like.
It wasn’t just jealousy. It was grief, disbelief, humiliation, and the awful realization that the person I had imagined spending my life with was already making room for someone new while I was still trying to understand what had happened to us.
I had spent so long believing that if I loved him enough, if I stayed patient enough, if I kept forgiving him, eventually things would work out.
Now I’m left wondering what all those years meant to him.

The things he has said to me since then have hurt in ways I cannot explain. He has called me the most worthless person and told me I should die. Everyday daw pingappray nya m@matay ako, para maging peaceful na buhay nya, obsessed daw ako masyado, sa 9years na yon never naman daw nya ako minahal He has portrayed me to people as crazy, as if my pain is proof that I’m the problem.

He knows what happened behind closed doors. He knows the things I forgave, the times I stayed, and the things I endured. He knows how much I loved him.

I didn’t realize how much of myself I was losing in the process.

The irony is that I’m a nurse now. I spent years studying how to care for people, how to recognize their pain, how to show up when someone needs help. I know how important it is to take care of yourself, to ask for help, and to recognize when something is hurting you.

Yet I don’t know how to apply any of that to myself right now.I passed my boards. I became an RN. I accomplished something I worked incredibly hard for, and I should be proud of myself. But instead of feeling like I’m entering a new chapter, I feel like I’m mourning the life I thought I would have after all that hard work. Narating ko nga mga yan pero mayayakap ba nyan ako sa gabi?

I thought we would celebrate these milestones together. I thought we’d look back at our younger selves and laugh about how far we had come. I thought we’d finally get to experience the future we had talked about for years.

Instead, I have to learn how to celebrate myself without the person I thought would be beside me.
And sometimes I feel so embarrassed about how long I stayed that I don’t even know how to tell people the whole story. I can already imagine the questions: Why didn’t you leave? Why did you keep forgiving him? Why did you let him treat you that way?I ask myself those questions, too.
But the truth is, I loved him. I loved him through his complexity.

Maybe I was naive. Maybe I was too attached. Maybe I confused loving someone with having to endure everything they did to me.

Some days, the sadness gets so overwhelming that I struggle to imagine a future for myself at all. I’ve caught myself wishing I could disappear because I don’t know how to carry all of this anymore. I don’t want to keep living in a cycle where I wake up, remember everything, and have to convince myself to get through another day.

And I think one of the things that hurts me the most now is seeing him treat his new girl the way I begged him to treat me.The things I used to ask him for. The little efforts I wanted. The things I wanted to experience with him after almost nine years together. I spent so much time asking, explaining, and hoping that maybe one day he would finally understand what I needed to feel loved.
And now, I see him doing those things for someone else. It’s like he’s just breathing. Like making an effort for her comes naturally to him, while I had to beg for the same things for years.
And yung bago niya, kaklase ko. I still remember how much he used to hate her. He would always say she was just a pretty face with no substance. But now, look at them.

It’s painful because I remember how he used to talk about her, and now he’s treating her like someone special. I can’t help but wonder if everything he said before was just another lie, or if he only changed his mind because she became available to him.
And honestly, I hate that I’m even thinking this way. I don’t want to compare myself to her. I don’t want to question whether she’s prettier, easier to love, or somehow more deserving of the effort I begged for. pero i wouldnt lie attractive talaga yung bago nya. Alam din ni GIRL ang tungkol saamin and magkakaklase kami, alam nya din struggles ko, and chinat ko sya dahil nagulat ako , it feels like na nabetray ako. our batchmates sent it to me na nagulat lang din silang lahat. There was no proper closure, no genuine conversation.
pero para sakanya matagal na daw kami nag end, ya ang pinagkakalat nya sa iba. at sabi pa ni girl saakin
that I should heal and let go na hahahaha. wala naman daw syang inapakang tao at inaagaw. I don’t know what happened between them, and I don’t know what he has told her about me. Maybe she genuinely believes his version of events.

So, to anyone who has ever had to rebuild themselves after losing their first love, especially after a relationship that lasted nearly a decade: how did you start over?

So I have this straight friend na malambing sakin. He taught me how to play LOL and carried me till Master rank, tapos madalas kaming mag hangout noong nasa Manila pa siya. Occasionally, nagbibigay din sya ng random gift saken like powerbank o shirt na tingin nya bagay saken. So one of my besties asked buti daw di ako nafa-fall e napaka effort nitong tropa ko. I was like, “Duh, he’s straight.”

Ang weird lang kase isipin na may mga taong nafafall dahil lang mabait yung tao sa kanila. Ang akin lang, wag nyo kaseng iromanticize lahat ng interaction. May mga taong sadyang malambing lang.

Honestly, yung mga ganitong experience ang dahilan kaya mas madali akong makipag tropa sa straight guys. Like itong tropa ko kasi, galanti rin ako. Mahilig manlibre o magbigay ng random gift. And yung mga straight friend ko, di nila nilalagyan ng meaning.

Meanwhile, I have a former gay friend who jokingly accused me of being a lovebomber. His exact word: “Mabait ka sa taong gusto mong tikman”. I was disgusted by his words, so I cut him off. Months later, his former friends exposed him. Siya pala ang may ganong gawain, at pinoproject nya lang sakin 😂

I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes because I have a job that most people would consider their dream job, yet lately, I’ve been feeling stuck and unfulfilled.

I work in aviation, and it’s the kind of industry that gives you opportunities to travel, explore new places, meet people, and have experiences that not everyone gets to have. I know naman how lucky I am, and I don’t want to take it for granted. But lately lang talaga, I’ve been starting to dislike it, and I feel so guilty admitting that.

A big part of it is that I don’t enjoy the lifestyle that comes with it. As a junior first officer in a male-dominated field, I also have to deal with misogynistic colleagues, microaggressions, and peer pressure. Dagdag mo pa yung horror stories about colleagues cheating on their partners or constantly hitting on you. Tapos yung iba naman sobrang yabang and ginagawang personality yung job. It can be exhausting dealing with all of that. Then there’s the fact that I haven’t gone on a proper leisure trip since April because of my tight schedule and other priorities. I guess I’ve come to realize that having a job that involves travel doesn’t necessarily mean having the freedom to travel on your own terms.

My life is objectively good when I look at it from the outside, but lately, it just doesn’t feel as exciting. And because aviation is supposedly such an exciting career, parang feeling ko I shouldn’t complain about it. Sometimes I even feel ungrateful for not appreciating it enough.

I don’t know if this is burnout, a phase lang, or if I’m actually starting to outgrow the lifestyle.

Some people say that the rendering period is one of the happiest times of your work life. Two weeks from now will be my last day with the company. I am excited of course! I have always wanted to leave here. I joined here April 2025 and a few weeks in, alam ko nang hindi ako magtatagal dito. It’s not what I expected it to be. I got a shitty manager and management. Syempre, I told myself na things will get better naman and sayang naman ang compensation. I am paid really well here. Sabi nga nila, tiisin na lang yan lahat.

I thought kaya ko. Hindi ko pala kaya. I gaslighted myself na baka bata pa ako and I have so much more to experience kaya baka medyo soft pa ako. Pero hindi na kaya eh. Nakapag 1.5 years na ako dito, and I feel even worse.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I got a job offer and I sent my resignation letter 2 weeks ago. Business as usual but I still dread waking up to every workday. Kinakabahan pa din ako. 😭 dapat naman diba na less effort or saktong effort na lang pag rendering kasi focus ko naman is pag handover lalo na if nalalapit na yung last working day ko. Pero I still feel the same. Gusto ko na mag last day para tapos na ang lahat.

Siguro naghahanap lang din ako ng validation if ano dapat gawin ko during rendering period. Sanay kasi ako mag effort masyado to the point na naaffected ako mentally. I really want to give it my all kumbaga. Pero ngayon sobrang pagod ko na pero yung isip ko gusto parin ibigay lahat and di ko kayang mag chill out kahit last 2 weeks ko nalang. :((((

Update lang sa post ko months ago.

Tawagin nating Lilith si ex-friend at Angel naman ang friend naming mabait.

Yesterday, tinawagan ako ni Angel para mag lunch with friends para sa birthday ni Lilith. Decline agad ako kasi ayoko na talaga siyang makita.

Natuloy naman sila.

Today, nalaman ko sa isa naming "friend" na walang nagbago kay Lilith. Naghihintay sila ng sorry pero wala. Nilait pa niya ang outfit ng isa naming friend, kesyo mukha raw maid. Narinig ni Angel yan pero hindi man lang sinaway, sabi niya lang kay friend "HAYAAN MO NA". And si Angel pala ang nagbayad sa bill at ayaw raw dumukot sa wallet ni Lilith.

Tinanong ko si Angel kung bakit ganyan lang kadali sa kanya, lalo na't hindi man nanghingi ng sorry si Lilith. Ang sagot ba naman, "NAKAKAHIYA KAY JESUS, malapit na ang birthmonth niya, magpatawad kana sister. Forgiveness naman ang Christmas season; at para masaya at kumpleto tayo."

Ganito reaction ko: 🥴😵‍💫🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪

Jusko! Hahahaahaahhaaha!!!!!

I told Angel that I will distance myself na dahil hindi na aligned ang values namin at hindi na ako comfortable. Wala naman akong hard feelings. Nawalan lang talaga akong gana.

Ang ironic lang kasi naaalala ko kung paano nila pag-usapan si Lilith kapag wala siya. Sila mismo ang nagrereklamo kung gaano siya ka-toxic at paulit-ulit na lang ang problema. Pero ngayon parang walang nangyari.

For me, forgiveness doesn't mean I have to reconnect with someone or pretend everything is okay. And I don't think I need to compromise my peace just to keep a friend group complete.

Bahala na sila kung sumakit ulit ang ulo nila kay Lilith. I've had enough, and I'm choosing to stay away.

Please don't share or repost this outside Reddit. I'd appreciate it if this stays within the community. Thank you.

I am finally free from shrinking myself, afraid, been very afraid of you leaving me. Giving up my personality, my choice of clothes, expression in dressing up, my eating habits, my habits, as well as my natural emotions such as sorrows, being upset. I guess me crying as well despite my suffering made you pull the plug even though you had deceived me that commitment towards marriage was in the cards. I gave up my creativity and grounded myself on pursuing a steady job just so you could see me, be proud I was your partner, instead I was just made an audience for your merits and was just discarded when I no longer made you feel good and big than I am. I gave you my prime years, loyalty and unwavering support in the end you were just like them. Only much cruel because I gave you trust, my trust.

Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson on naivety. I will move forward, no longer looking back. Picking up the pieces of me you had broken so bad. Not wishing anything bad to you or for you to experience the same agonizing feelings I have been subjected against my will. I will no longer have you make me feel ashamed of my family and what I had endured, what I have accomplished. I now love myself more than the potential of us. Thank you for letting me go.

i met my partner on reddit in Q1 2024. we instantly clicked, and while we had a rocky mid-year, we started officially dating in december of that year.

we just spent the weekend together, and i was browsing through his phone, which i always do just for instagram/facebook reels. i saw his discord in his recent apps and i just had this gnawing feeling to check it out.

during the time we were still in a situationship, he had this other situationship (or relationship? but i'm not sure) as well. there was a clear overlap in i-love-yous, good-mornings, and pet names, that until now i'm still struggling to comprehend. how can you say that to two people without feeling any remorse?

they ended things in may, but still talked until november 2024. now i get why he suddenly locked in on me after the middle of the year.

i feel so dirty being the "other woman", i feel so pathetic that at that time i was just so enamored by him that i let myself stay during the rockier months, and i just feel like everything i know was a lie.

i keep replaying everything that happened that year in a new lens, like every thing we ever did is now tainted. things already ended in 2024, but my wound is so fresh that each tainted memory is now salt that stings.

di ko alam if mababasa mo 'to, but just know that i know about her and the other things you've lied about.

I love my parents, but I’m getting frustrated because it feels like I always have to push them to take their health seriously.

Whenever something hurts or they feel like something isn’t right, they’ll tell me about it but they won’t necessarily see a doctor unless I follow up or help arrange everything.

My dad is already a senior citizen, but he keeps delaying his laboratory tests and does not take his diet seriously. He has asthma, yet he doesn’t use his maintenance inhaler daily as prescribed. He also has a history of fatty liver and high triglycerides, but he stopped taking his medications for those.

Recently, my mom (57), told me she had lower back pain that spread to her legs. She also noticed blood when she peed or stains in her underwear. I asked her to get a urinalysis and when the results came out, they sent it to me.

I’m not a doctor lol. Of course I want to know what’s going on, but more than that, I want to know what they plan to do about it.

I encouraged her to see a doctor and ask whether an ultrasound was needed. Thankfully, she went the next day. The ultrasound showed unremarkable findings, and she was advised to get a CT scan and see her OB to rule out other possible causes of the bleeding.

I can’t help feeling exhausted that I always seem to be the one who has to tell them what to do next… even contacting a doctor or their secretary. Sometimes it feels like they wouldn’t get checked at all if I didn’t step in.

I know I’m frustrated because I love them and I worry about them. I’m not asking them to be perfectly healthy. I just want to see them take steps to care for themselves and follow through with their checkups and treatment.

I wish they understood that taking care of themselves would also give their children peace of mind. We love them and we want them to be around for as long as possible.

As the title goes yes **** them all.

Today i got my salary increase letter and i ended up nothing but huge disappoontment. I can't find any percentage of happiness at all.

Sobrang urong ang kamay pirmahan yung letter but wlaa na ko magawa and while i am internalizing all what i had seen in that paper thats when all the breakdown comes in. At my age of 33 i should have earn 30k plus kung titignan sobrang huli na ko sa current market offer on my Job Position pang entry level lang.

Wala ko ginawa kundi umiyak ng umiyak maghapon till i got home breakdown and cursed them all and cry. I tear off the paper where the letter contains my salary adjustment.

Fuck them all. THATS all i can say.

MAY GOD DIRECT MY PATH TO A JOB THAT PAYS WELL WITH GOOD SALARY AND HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT .

JOB DUST FOR ME AND FOR EVERYONE WHO IS STRUGGLING.

Yesterday, my husband and I were busy chopping and preparing our lechon belly orders for delivery. We were already running late with our preparations when we suddenly heard a commotion outside.

My husband went out to see what was happening and witnessed something shocking. Our 62-year-old neighbor had fallen from the second floor of his house while cleaning a window. He had a deep wound on his forehead extending toward his nose, and he was bleeding heavily.

Some of our other neighbors were already helping, including his son, who seemed overwhelmed and in shock by what had happened. Seeing the urgency of the situation, my husband took the initiative to get our car and bring him to the hospital. Meanwhile, I stayed home with our two-year-old toddler.

After bringing our neighbor to the hospital, my husband came straight back so we could continue preparing and delivering our orders. We were already behind schedule even before the incident happened, so this delayed us even more. But it was okay. Some things are simply more important than being on time.

This experience made me realize once again how lucky I am to have him as my husband. ❤️

He is not the kind of person who would simply stand by and watch when someone needs help. Even when he has his own responsibilities and is already running out of time, he will still find a way to help someone in need.

He could have chosen to focus on our orders, especially since we were already late and had customers waiting. But instead, he took the initiative to help bring our neighbor to the hospital. He understood that in that moment, someone's life and safety mattered more than our delivery schedule.

And that is one of the things I admire most about him. He doesn't need to make a big deal out of helping others. He simply does what he believes is right.

To my husband's parents, thank you for raising such a good man. You raised someone who knows compassion, kindness, and the value of human life. And I am beyond grateful that I get to call him my husband.

Yesterday also reminded me that kindness doesn't always come in grand gestures. Sometimes, it means putting your own responsibilities aside for a while because someone needs help. And sometimes, the moments that make us proudest of our partners are the ones that show us who they truly are.

I am proud of my husband, not just for what he did yesterday, but for the kind of person he is. And I hope our son grows up with the same compassionate heart. ❤️

I really just need to get this off my chest kasi sobrang nakakabwisit 'yung encounter namin earlier. We landed early in the morning from our Taipei flight to NAIA and grabe hirap talagang ipaglaban at mahalin ng Pilipinas. The bare minimum sa Taipei parang privilege pa natin dito sa bansa natin, walkalator not working, sobrang habang pila sa restroom, and you can clearly see how undisciplined us Filipinos compared sa ibang nationality 'no? Sobrang notorious natin sa hindi pasunod sa rule. Sinabi na ngang PLEASE WAIT BEHIND YELLOW LINE ayun pa rin sila halos sumakay na sa carousel. Na para bang mapepressure ang conveyor belt at bibilis ang ikot kapag lumapit sila nang bonggang-bongga. Ang nakakainis pa, mag-eexcuse me ka para kunin 'yung luggage mo hindi man lang sila gumilid e nakita na ngang sobrang laki ng luggage na kukunin namin? Ano bang mga thought process netong mga taong 'to at akala mo maglalaho ang carousel at hindi nila makukuha mga luggage nila kapag nagmove backward sila ng kaunti? Hay Pilipinas, wala na ba talagang pag-asa na magbago ka?

Di ako out kaya ako nahihirapan and I’m slowly falling for my guy friend. Corcle of friends kami and may isa din kaming girl friend na kaflirt nya. Di ko maiwasan magselos and nababother ako tuwing magkakasama kami. I know wala akong magagawa dito pero gusto ko lang ishare yung nararamdaman ko.

monday blues ata to. i really dont wanna work more. i dont wanna find more work to have more money. i wanna just work a bit and save most of it. I wanna stop the urges to buy. i stop doom scrolling to stop absorbing buying culture. ayoko naaaa. ayoko magwork today. ayoko magwork all the time. i wanna retire at 40. kasi di ko na kaya. im just not here to work my ass off. i will spend my good money travellingggg. fuck this capitalist society. kakaapagoooododofkdmgldkgdkngdfg

I've been feeling so low and stressed lately. During times like this, I just wish I felt loved. Nakakapagod din palang magpanggap na hindi mo gusto makatanggap ng flowers when deep down, you do. It hurts even more seeing the girl who ruined your relationship being happy and receiving the things you once wished for. I know I shouldn't compare, pero minsan nakakalungkot lang. Gusto ko rin naman maranasan na someone thinks of me and wants to make me happy, kahit sa simpleng bagay lang 🥹

I just found out that my husband of 8 years has a daughter sa pagka-binata. He said that they (sila ng family niya) tried everything to be involved, but ayaw talaga ng family ni girl. Kaya as if that daughter does not exist.

My husband said he told me about it at the start pa lang ng relationship namin, when things were getting serious. Pero I really can’t remember. Honestly, the thought of him having a child doesn’t bother me. It’s the fact that I was kept in the dark. Kaya when his tita made it kwento, I was really caught off guard, and I felt stupid na hindi ko alam.

Talked to him about it, and his defense nga was that he told me about it when our relationship was starting to get serious. I even answered pa nga daw na if my ex-BF had 2 kids and I accepted him, why naman would it be a big deal to me if he has a kid?

Super gulo ng utak ko. Kasi there is a possibility nga na sinabi niya, pero part of me thinks na it would definitely ring a bell if nasabi sa akin.

Another thing that bothers me is that his family doesn’t take the issue as a big deal. Na a family member brought up that topic to me. Na it was nothing but the tita feeling close lang. Like? Helllllooo, kung malaman mong may anak pala yung asawa mo, hindi ba big deal yun?

And what really hurts me is that my husband is acting all selfish, na every time that topic is being brought up, hurting daw siya, like the trauma is coming back. Na nagfa-flashback daw lahat sa kanya. (Kasi nga they were rejected ng family ng girl, and minata-mata sila. In short, matapobre.) Like, hello? Why are we only talking about your feelings? Why are you not acknowledging my feelings?

I know there are two sides to this story, and I’m trying to understand his side, too. I just hope there’s room for mine as well.

I’m not angry that he has a child from his past. I’m struggling with the fact that I found out this way, that I can’t remember being told, and that I’m now questioning something I thought I knew about my husband and our relationship.

I just want to get this off my chest.