I am so tired. We just got back from my 5yr olds neuro appointment. To preface this, last year he was evaluated for autism. The neurologist said that while he does have some traits, he doesn't show enough to be formally diagnosed. We left that appointment with a diagnosis of sensory processing disorder and an "I'm pretty sure he has adhd but we can't formally diagnose until 5". So we went back today for his ADHD eval. Honestly we left with more questions than answers. Again no "formal" ADHD diagnosis because he is not yet in school (late birthday). I understand needing to see symptoms in 2 areas but I figured that his symptoms showing up in his extracurricular activities AND home would be enough. Apparently it is not. I am 99.99% sure he has ADHD because me and his father both have it. So today we left with a diagnosis of ODD. When I research ODD it says it can concurrent with ADHD or essentially lack of parenting/consequences. I cannot stop feeling like we are the cause of this. He has always been very headstrong, quick tempered, and easily frustrated. He was a rough baby and didn't sleep through a full night until he was 18 months old and even now will wake up in the middle of the night, wouldn't let us put him down etc. But I don't know if I am failing as his mother amd truly am the cause of his ODD or if his brain just works differently. He is such a smart kid and so sweet when he wants to be. When he's upset the whole neighborhood knows. He screams, hits, throws things, bites etc. And then it's like a switch flips and he's completely fine. I am so lost on how to parent him in a way that is going to be effective and help him learn regulation. The neurologist said he needs to go to daycare but honestly I don't think that will do much. He gets tons of socialization (when he can emotionally handle it because of the SPD he gets overwhelmed quickly some days) I work with him at home and he's already reading paragraphs and full books. But I don't know how to help him with his behavior/emotions. He gets plenty of movement throughout the day, eats pretty well, and takes Omega 3s, a multivitamin, and magnesium. I don't even know what I need, I'm rambling.

We have a 16 year old son who has ADHD. He struggles academically but is very smart. He fails to turn in assignments and does poorly especially in Math. My concern is he doesn’t believe anyone especially adults knows anything he doesn’t not. He refuses medication and counseling. I have tried to explain to how his poor performance is related to executive functioning. I have been trying to work with him instead of giving consequences. Any suggestions

My daughter turns 3 next month and out of those three years I don’t know if I have had more than 5 nights where we have been able to sleep through the night. Every time I bring it up with a doctor it’s a “sleep regression.” There’s no way it’s been a nonstop sleep regression. I think my daughter has ADHD, she talks non-stop, is always seeking sensory input, and seems to have endless energy. She gets up like clockwork at 7 am ready to go every day and the only way to get her to nap is to drive her in a car. The naps have gotten shorter and shorter and sometimes she refuses to nap at all. If she naps, she doesn’t fall asleep until 10-11 pm but if she doesn’t we can usually get her down by 7-8 pm. We have a consistent ritual of bath, teeth brushing, and stories, but it’s still an hour or longer struggle after that to get her to bed. Once she’s asleep she is usually out for at least an hour or two, but then she’s up all the time. Sometimes it’s multiple little wake ups, but other times she’ll be up and wired for HOURS. I can’t remember the last time I got a full night of sleep. I am so tired and depleted. We started giving her magnesium and l-theanine supplements but I haven’t seen much of a difference. She gets plenty of activity throughout the day and eats balanced meals. She’s been potty trained for 7 months and talks amazing (people always ask if she’s 3 or 4). Since she’s advanced in so many ways, the sleep aspect can be so frustrating. She’s our only child and I want to make sure she continues to develop healthily by getting enough sleep. And I want to be the best mom I can be by getting enough sleep. I am open to any and all advice.

Has anyone’s kid developed anxiety after starting methylphenidate? Did it turn out to be because the dose was too high?
Did it go away after you stopped or lowered the dose?

Hi
I am posting here hoping to get some advice . my son is 8 and he is having trouble staying attentive at class or following teacher instructions, being organized etc . We got a call from his teacher today . All his teachers over the last three years have same feedback . He is smart otherwise and intelligent than most of his age group but ADHD is preventing him from reaching his potential. Few years ago doc suggested meds for ADHD but we were scared of the long terms effects . Currently i don’t see any other option. At home also we struggle to have him listen to us and have to tell everything many times. Same feedback from his RSM teacher .Any other parents in this boat what did you do ? what worked ? pls share experiences.. ty

I'm 32F, remote worker, stepmom of a 8yo ADHD child, screens are already the hardest part of our day. We have limits, we have timers, and we still have the same conversation most afternoons.

Paper routine charts haven't worked for him, he ignores them within a week. A friend suggested a wall display he taps through instead, and I can see why it might hold his attention better than paper but I'm hesitant. Am I solving one problem by adding another screen for him to fixate on? I'd really like to hear from parent who tried it. Did the screen fights get better, worse or stay the same?

Hello everyone! I’m hoping to hear from other parents who have been through something similar with their children.

I recently met with the psychologist and behavioral analyst who completed a private evaluation for my 5-year-old daughter. Autism was ruled out, and ADHD is still being considered. We were given a provisional diagnosis of unspecified mood disorder because of some of the emotional challenges she has been experiencing at school, particularly intense meltdowns when she becomes overwhelmed or has difficulty with transitions.
She is also having a hard time connecting with other children in her class.

I worry that some of her classmates are becoming hesitant to play with her because of these episodes, and that breaks my heart as a parent. She started occupational therapy about a month ago to work on emotional regulation, transitions, and fine motor skills, including her pencil grip. The psychologist also recommended play therapy and plans to complete the ADHD evaluation while we explore which interventions would be most helpful for her.

My daughter attends a private school, and thankfully, the school has been working with us. We have a meeting tomorrow to discuss a plan to better support her.
I’m trying to stay hopeful and focus on getting her the help she needs, but honestly, I’m feeling scared and anxious about what this might mean for her future. She is such a happy, bright, playful little girl, and it’s difficult to see her struggling in this way.

For parents who have experienced something similar, especially those whose children are now older: What helped your child the most? How did things change as they got older? Did therapy, school accommodations, or other interventions make a difference in their emotional regulation and friendships with a unspecified mood disorder?

I would really appreciate hearing your experiences, especially some positive stories from parents who have been where I am now. I know every child is different, but right now, I could really use some reassurance and hope.

My son has been talking about Halloween parties for weeks. He's almost 4. He knew what costume he wanted to wear and was so excited for trunk or treat/fall festival. We went to one Saturday night and he fairly calm. There wasn't much waiting at the games to get candy or inflatables. We got him to jump first to get some energy out. There was a little of the usual pulling and fussing but not enough that we needed to leave.

Last night we tried another. The same size as the one the night before. Lots of friends and people he knew. His cousins showed up and I thought it would help to have fun with him. They are older and he generally loves being around them. We tried letting him jump first but they had everyone wait in line to jump and he got very upset about it and was still upset when he finished jumping. He just wanted to run off, we couldn't get him to wait a single turn for anything without pulling, throwing himself on the ground, kicking, fussing, etc. He wouldn't stay with us. Couldn't distract him from things he couldn't mess with. Even his favorite snacks didn't distract him. We had to leave. I could not calm him. They had a trunk or treat a little later we tried with the cousins but we were already in the candy line and it was easier to go through the line to get to our car then get out of the like to leave. He was so excited to have his bucket and candy. He sometimes would refuse to walk to the next car, then cry and kick that I was holding him and not letting him walk. He kept trying to pull away from me to run off, pushing, trying to whack his bucket into his cousins so I had to take it. Not acknowledging his friends talking to him. It was all people he knew at the cars and he would ignore them completely when talking to him and try pulling his hand out of mine to run away or swing his bucket around and push again. I was exausted by the time I got home. He really wanted to go back through the line again but I knew he wasnt going to do it and he got upset about that.

Is there any point in trying another one? His grandparents neighberhood is having one and we go every year. I just don't know if I have the energy to do that again or get there and have to just turn around and leave after a few minutes.

He's in OT but I don't think it's helping and I don't know how to help him. They had no advice for me about helping calm these behaviors and help him be less overstimulated in groups. Any advice for larger events would be great. I'd like to try another event but at this point not sure if it's worth it until I can help him be less overstimulated.

Our 4 yo boy/girl twins were recently diagnosed with ADHD combined type + ODD. We are still awaiting my son's autism evaluation results. Things in our home right now have never been worse, and I'm doing everything within my power to stay sane and do the best I can for my kids. But I need help.

We are working with clinicians to figure out medication (non-stimulant for now) and behavioral strategies, but I also want to also pursue parent coaching. I have read that parent coaching is an effective strategy in managing ADHD in the home, esp in conjunction with tackling it on other fronts (behavioral interventions, medication, etc). We've done two sessions with two different "coaches" through our behavioral health provider. One was a clinician with 30-something years of experience and another was a parent of ADHD children trained as a coach. Both experiences were unhelpful at best. Our insurance covered the first of these appointments but it is $150 for each subsequent session, and if we are going to pay anyway, I want the coach to actually be well-versed in ADHD behavioral strategies AND coaching parents, if possible.

My question: Anyone have a good experience with a parenting ADHD children coach? And if yes, who were they/how did you find them? I've seen "programs" offered by random people but I don't have the bandwidth right now to trial and error them, but am open to programs offered by individuals if they have been vetted or recommended.

I literally created my reddit account to ask this question and seek help about this, so I am feeling desperate. Things feel so hard and so out of control in my household--preschool-age ADHD twins feels absolutely impossible right now. Any help sincerely appreciated!

My son has been on Focalin XR for 5 years now. Was on 10mg for years and increased to 15mg last year. It seems like since moving to middle school, his grades are struggling again and he is frequently playing with fridgets, singing (his stim he does a lot when not on medication), day dreaming, doodling etc instead of paying attention in class. He also really struggles to remember anything hes told in school. Needs VERY frequent reminders.

Focalin DOES still help control his physical activeness and impulsivity. He makes better choices on Focalin still but just isn't focusing in class.

He doesn't and hasnt ever had aggression or anything of that sort, but will get emotional and cry and breakdown when given tasks he deems as too large.

I have an appointment with his dr this morning and I know she will ask me if I want to try a new med - does anyone have any suggestions that worked for their kid when a medication stops working as well over time? its important to note that an increase in dose isn't totally off the table but he DOES struggle with appetite and weight and is already on cyproheptadine to help with appetite.

UPDATE: Yes, we've tried melatonin. He was on 10mg XR and it made no change to his night wakings. He does take it to help him fall asleep faster, but it doesn't keep him asleep.

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I’m turning to Reddit because we have been trying to solve my 5-year-old son’s sleep for years and feel like we have exhausted most of the obvious suggestions.

Background

He has ADHD, social communication disorder, and low muscle tone. He has been a poor sleeper since infancy, but our biggest issue now is prolonged night wakings.

He falls asleep without much difficulty (thanks to melatonin) but wakes fully during the night and can remain awake for 1.5-3 hours, sometimes longer. This happens several nights a week.

These are very calm wakings. He isn't distressed, scared, asking to play, or looking for attention. He lies in a dark room genuinely trying to go back to sleep, but simply seems completely awake. Sometimes he quietly talks or sings to himself, moves around, asks to use the bathroom, etc., but otherwise he is just lying there awake.

On particularly bad nights he ends up with only 6–7 hours of sleep and may then fall asleep on the school bus.

Things We’ve Tried

• Consistent, calm bedtime routine with a bedtime between 7:30–8:00 PM. (White noise machine and blackout curtains since he was a baby.)
• Proprioceptive pressure before bed (swinging in a blanket, pillow squishes, joint compressions).
• Weighted blanket (he just kicked it off).
• Ensuring he falls asleep independently. He did this successfully for years, but it had no effect on the night wakings.
• Immediate-release melatonin. Very effective for falling asleep, but did not keep him asleep.
• Extended-release melatonin, at one point up to 10 mg. Again, no meaningful effect on the night wakings.
• Iron supplements. His bloodwork is normal.
• Adenoid surgery. His adenoids were causing approximately 90% airway obstruction. His loud breathing (he never snored) improved dramatically after surgery, but the prolonged wakings continued.
• Hydroxyzine hydrochloride. This was actually very effective for the wakings, but after roughly two weeks on it, he developed a repetitive motor tic involving his eyes/head. We discontinued it and the tic diminished significantly.
• Trazodone. We tried this after stopping hydroxyzine, and within three nights the motor tic returned. We discontinued the trazodone and the tic went away again.
• Trying to physically tire him out. Yesterday, for example, he swam for over an hour in the afternoon and also went to an indoor playground for two hours in the morning. He was still awake from 12:30-4:30 AM.
• Seeing a sleep specialist.
• And yes, of course, we tried sleep training, including Ferber and the Chair Method, when he was much younger.

What We’re Doing Now

• Guanfacine for ADHD, taken in the morning. We previously gave it at night but moved it to the morning because we wondered whether it might be contributing to the night wakings. Changing the timing did not solve them.
• My husband or I fall asleep with him, and he currently sleeps in our bed with one of us. This actually helped for a few weeks, but the prolonged wakings eventually returned. White noise and blackout curtains. He also has a wake clock that changes color when it's ok to wake up at 6am.
• Slenyto, 2 mg prolonged-release prescription melatonin. It helps him fall asleep, but the extended-release component does not seem to help him stay asleep.
• Magnesium glycinate.
• On days when he is awake for a long period but then falls back asleep, we still wake him at 7:30 AM to catch the bus and take his guanfacine, so he does not get to sleep in just because he was awake during the night.
• We are starting myofunctional therapy in case there is still a sleep-disordered breathing component. His doctor has said that sleep apnea could certainly wake him but would be less likely to explain why, once awake, he then remains completely awake for several hours.

One strange caveat: he slept MUCH better while traveling

This summer we spent almost two months in the US and UK (we're based in Asia, but originally from the US/UK), and for a period of time he suddenly started sleeping through the night consistently.

There were several variables, so I don't know what mattered. He was using extended-release melatonin, but he was also getting more daylight and outdoor time, sunset was much later than it is where we live near the equator where sunset doesn't fluctuate with seasons, his bedtime was later, and he wasn't on a school schedule.

As soon as we returned home, the prolonged wakings came back.

This is the part that makes me wonder whether there could be a circadian component that we are missing. Or perhaps allergies?

If anyone has a child who had these long, calm, fully awake “split nights” where they were awake for 2–3 hours despite genuinely trying to sleep, did you ever solve this? If so, how?!

Was it circadian? Medication related? Sleep apnea or restless sleep? Something about bedtime timing or total sleep opportunity? Did a sleep study uncover anything? Was there a particular intervention that actually stopped the extended wakings?

I'm particularly interested in hearing from parents whose children already had good sleep hygiene and still had this problem. We have been working on his sleep for almost six years, so I'm hoping there is something we haven't thought of yet.

Hallo zusammen, ich habe einen 9-jährigen Sohn der seit der 1. Klasse die ADHS-Diagnose bekommen hat. Lange Zeit dachte ich dass ich gefühlt die einzige mit diesen Problemen bin und scheinbar andere Eltern mit "Normalen Kinder" es leichter haben und meine Probleme nicht nachvollziehen können. Allgemein fühle ich mich oft im Stich gelassen und unverstanden.

Mein Sohn war mit fast 2 Jahren schon trocken gewesen sowohl tagsüber als auch in der Nacht. Mit ca. 3 einhalb Jahren, hat er wieder angefangen einzunässen hauptsächlich in der Nacht. Dies ist leider bis zum heutigen Tage geblieben (Nächtliches Einnässen) wir haben alles von Ärzten, Urologen ausschließen lassen und es liegt definitiv nicht an seinem Körper oder seinen Organen. Wenn man ihn selbst fragt, sagt er: "Mama, ich weiß auch nicht warum, aber ich merke und spüre das in der Nacht gar nicht." Ich habe auch vom Kinderarzt gehört dass Kinder mit ADHS öfter Probleme mit der Blase haben und das Gehirn noch nicht damit kommuniziert oder den Harndrang sogar komplett ignorieren kann. Jetzt ist er bald 10 Jahre und trägt nachts seine Windelpants noch immer und ich mache mir große Sorgen um seine Zukunft. Gerade jetzt wollen die Jungs mit ihm Übernachtungspartys machen, zu denen er nicht mitkann und auch das Schullandheim/Klassenfahrt steht in der 4. Klasse nun an. Ich mache mir Sorgen ihn da mitzulassen und habe Angst davor die anderen Kinder aus seiner Klasse sehen und merken es und machen sich über ihn lustig oder fangen dann gar an ihn zu mobben.

Er hat es durch sein ADHS sowieso schon nicht gar so leicht mit seinen Klassenkameraden, da die Kinder bemerken dass er sich oft in den Mittelpunkt stellt, zum Klassenclown wird, nicht aufpasst, äußerst Impulsives Verhalten zeigt oder häufig zu Wutausbrüchen neigt.

Ich ekel mich teilweise selbst vor meinem eigenen Kind, manchmal wäscht er sich nicht wirklich sauber nach seiner Windel und setzt sich so auf unsere Couch und deckt sich mit unseren Decken zu und oft rieche ich dann Uringeruch und schicke ihn nach oben sich umziehen und besser zu waschen mit Seife/Shampoo oder zu duschen. Aber ich habe keine Lust mehr ihn zu umarmen oder mit ihm zu kuscheln und ekel mich davor. Zähne putzen ist auch noch so eine Sache.... Hygiene im allgemeinen! Toilettengänge, Hände waschen usw..... Manchmal denke ich ich habe ein 2 jähriges Baby...

Ich hatte in den letzten Jahren viele schlaflose Nächte und habe geweint, weil ich langsam nicht mehr weiß wie ich mit all dem umgehen soll. Wir haben uns viel Mühe mit der Erziehung gegeben und so gut wie alles ausprobiert an Tipps die wir bekommen haben, Ratgeber gelesen. Dennoch lügt und betrügt er, (Er klaut Süßes und versteckt den Abfall davon dann in der Couch oder in seinem Bett oder lässt ihn im Schrank liegen) Er klaut uns sogar Geld, wirkt gleichgültig wenn wir mit ihm ein ernstes Gespräch führen und ihm Konsequenzen geben und ist danach immer wieder gleich nach 5 Minuten so gut gelaunt als wäre nichts gewesen. Oft gönnt er sich am Wochenende morgens keinen Schlaf und steht um 7 Uhr morgens auf und geht nach unten, macht sich gerade so ein Müsli und dann geht er fernsehen obwohl er genau weiß, dass er morgens nicht ohne uns nach unten soll und fernsehen gleich überhaupt nicht, weil er immer mit Elektronischen Dingen übertreibt und sich deshalb auch keinen Schlaf gönnt. Auch heute morgen ist er einfach nach unten und hat die Rolläden hoch und uns alle aufgeweckt sodass niemand mehr schlafen konnte.

Er stellt sich oft mit uns Eltern auf eine Stufe, als hätte er manchmal keinen Respekt vor uns. Redet in Gespräche/Telefonate rein und wenn wir diskutieren gibt er Widerworte und äußert respektlose Gedanken und Aussagen. Er dreht einem auch oft das Wort im Mund herum und benutzt Regeln die wir aussprachen anders zu seinem Gunsten: z.B. als ich mit meiner jüngeren Tochter (13 Monate alt) bei meinem Frauenarzt zum Kontrolltermin war, wollte er nicht mit und er durfte unter bestimmten Voraussetzungen Zuhause bleiben. Ich habe ihm gesagt er soll als Erstes seine Hausaufgaben erledigen und danach dürfe er an seinem Nintendo spielen, bis ich wieder Zuhause bin. Wir haben auch grundsätzlich die Regel dass er keine Freunde reinlassen darf, wenn wir nicht Zuhause sind und er alleine ist. Ich habe ihm gesagt dass ich seine Kinderwatch aufgeladen hab und er mich "wenn was schlimmes ist" anrufen kann und soll.

Auf dem Heimweg rief er mich mit seiner Watch an und fragte mich wann wir wieder Zuhause wären und ob er denn bitte rüber zu seinem Nachbarsfreund zum Trampolin springen dürfte. Ich fragte ihn ob er denn seine Hausaufgaben schon fertig habe und er sagte mir "Nein, aber die Lehrerin hat gesagt wir dürfen sie uns bis morgen aufteilen. Ich habe mit (Name des Freundes) auch schon bei uns Nintendo gespielt aber jetzt wollen wir Trampolin springen bei ihm." Dann hab ich gesagt ich bin gleich da und rede mit ihm. Als ich reingehen wollte standen schon 2 Kinder auf unserer Terrasse und er saß drinnen und zockte auf seinem Nintendo.

Man muss noch dazu sagen: Dass er sehr oft Hausaufgaben vergisst, sie nicht vollständig ins Hausaufgabenheft aufschreibt, die benötigten Hefte/Bücher vergisst oder einfach mitten in der Aufgabe aufhört, seine Sachen einpackt und sagt er wäre fertig und das obwohl ich eigentlich jeden Tag mit ihm dasitze und Hausaufgaben mache. Er bekommt es trotzdem hin mich zu verarschen und deshalb glaube ich ihm auch nicht mehr wenn er sagt er dürfe sich Hausaufgaben aufteilen.

Jedenfalls habe ich ihn dann gefragt weshalb er einfach gar keine Hausaufgaben gemacht hat obwohl ich es ihm gesagt habe und einfach Freunde in meiner Abwesenheit eingeladen hat und angefangen hat zu zocken. Und seine Antwort war: "Ich wollte dich beim Arzttermin nicht stören und du hast doch gesagt ich darf nur anrufen wenn was schlimmes ist."

Aber er hat mich ja angerufen als ich auf dem Heimweg war! AHHHH! Um mich zu fragen ob er zu den Nachbarn kann, kann er mich anrufen aber nicht um mich zu fragen ob er all seine Hausaufgaben erst morgen machen kann und jetzt schon zocken darf UND Freunde einladen darf?! Es ist zum verrückt werden! HILFE!

Geht es noch jemanden so?

My son is 5.75 years old in kindergarten and I suspect he probably has adhd. I was wondering if any of you notice that your children may watch before joining in? I’ve noticed he does this in some social situations, but I noticed him doing it more large scale with playing soccer. He played a soccer league for the first time this year and I noticed that each game he got better and better. The first few games he was doing some whining and didn’t seem the happiest (nothing I couldn’t snap him out quickly, but I had to be right there prompting him vs. just letting him go.) but I noticed each game he got better and better and his last two games he was amazing. I think he just needed to see the game being played a few times to feel confident about completely diving in. Now that he understands everything, he’s so good. It’s not about being smart enough to understand. It’s more about that he needed to fully understand everything before letting himself go full force. Other kids seem fine with diving in even if they don’t know what’s going on. But I think he doesn’t want to make a fool of himself (his perception) so he waits until he understands every piece of it. Anyone else notice this with their adhd kids?

Hello,

Looking for any kind of advice or somebody with similar experiences.

My 8 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD and Autism.

She started on Equasym XL 10mg for 1 week, up to 20mg for 6 weeks and then up to 30mg which she was on for about a month then she started expressing feelings of wanting to die so we were told to stop the medication immediately and give her a 3 week break. She was then prescribed Medikinet XL at 10mg for 1 week and then up to 20mg. We are currently on day 5 of the 20mg and the last few days have been horrific. I decided not to give it to her today to see if it made any difference in her behaviour but it didnt. She is being increasingly defiant and pretty much running the whole household at this point. I don't know anymore if medication is the best thing for her but she is really reluctant to come off it and gets distressed at the mention of stopping it because its really helping her to concentrate with her school work. (Not helping with behaviour at school though, if anything that has got worse too)

What are other people's experiences with this? Of course these medications are both Stimulants. Has anybody had any improvement by switching to a Non-stim?

Bedtime is a nightmare too, she is prescribed 2mg melatonin, its effectiveness was great at first but then it started to become less efficient overtime. Prior to all of this she used to be prescribed Promethazine to help her sleep and that used to work amazing but she can't have both.

Any advice or even just shared similar experiences would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

TLDR: is surprising my kid with a trip the day we leave a 100% unmanageable bad idea?

I am planning a trip to DC as a Christmas gift for my AuDHD 6-year-old daughter. We fly out in the afternoon on Christmas Day - it will be her first time on a plane. I’ve been planning to not tell her until she opens gifts that morning. I am on the AuDHD spectrum myself, and I think I know my girl best, but I have gotten some very gentle, well intentioned negative feedback from neurodiverse folks on the travel side of Reddit and am now second guessing myself. Hoping that you comrades in the trenches can help me sort this out.

My daughter’s ASD is level 1, but she has the most significantly disabling case of ADHD I have ever seen (I am a child and adolescent psychotherapist, to give you some context). Meds and therapy have made a huge difference for us so I’m confident about managing her behavior while we travel, but we’re still struggling quite a bit with emotional regulation and executive functioning. Transitions, changes in routine, and loss of control in general are difficult for her. Thus the concern from others.
HOWEVER. She has 0 recognition of delayed gratification. If I told her about the trip in advance it would not register as a gift to her. The trip and items related to it are pretty much her whole Christmas. She has twin younger brothers who will not be going on the trip with us - seeing them open their things while she has less and knows what’s coming would be really sad for her.

She is well-traveled as far as a car will take her and has specifically been asking for a “girl’s trip”. She is a genius (the legit tested kind) and is obsessed with natural sciences and history, so I chose DC for the Smithsonians with her interests in mind. She has never had any issues with last minute positive surprises, just with last minute changes (things getting canceled or postponed mostly). I’ve been subtly exposing her to any non-suspicious info I can find about the experience of flying and DC in general.

Am I nuts for doing this? Am I going to ruin her Christmas? Do you have any travel tips or other words of wisdom to make this doable for her?

My son is currently taking 5 mg of immediate-release methylphenidate twice a day. His teachers have noticed improvements in his focus and impulsivity, especially in the morning. The afternoon dose seems to help a little, but not nearly as much as the morning dose.
However, holy moly, the crash when he gets home is awful. He becomes extremely emotional, cries uncontrollably, and gets really angry. It’s heartbreaking to watch, and I feel so bad for him.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Did switching to an extended-release version help smooth out the crash, or did you find something else that worked better? I’d love to hear your experiences and suggestions!

My daughter is 11.5 in 6th grade. She has always been very outgoing and confident. I have always described her as “enthusiastic”. She has never cared about seeming normal or fitting in and sometimes this effects her self care like her pants on backwards or hair not brushed and she doesn’t care but I’d have to remind her that I care and others care and we are going to fix it before she leaves. She has been through phases of obsession with different popculture things. Charlie in the chocolate factory, then Harry Potter, then wings of fire, then warrior cats and then meow wolf, now Therian.

Because of her tendency to be obsessed with a thing and move on after a while I wasn’t concerned at first with her obsession. She’s always been very into imaginative play and acts younger than she is so I thought with going into middle school she saw this as a “more grown up” way of imaginative play. Like saying “hanging out” instead of “playing”. When they are still playing. You know? But I’m just concerned about her level of obsession and whether she really believes she is an animal at heart.

Not long before this started one of her best friend came out as nonbinary. I suspect her learning about identities and such is what brought her to therians and suspect she wants to feel “special” as well. She gets excited about pride flags and pride and I’ve had this discussion with her but still not sure she gets that Therian is not part of the lgbtq community and combining the two can be hurtful to those who truely are struggling with accepting their gender identity or sexual orientation. Because theirs doesn’t feel like a choice. It’s not a fun make believe thing. And obviously you are a human and can’t possibly identify as an animal in the same way someone can identify as a different gender. Shell just say “I know I know” but it still seems like she equates them.

None of her friends are therian, but she said some of them are “otherkin” which I think is like they like to play around with the animal tails and masks with her for fun and accept her weirdness I guess…but like they aren’t identifying as an animal.

When we go out to like the mall or farmers market there is always a few slightly older tweens that are in the therian community that will run up to her and compliment her “gear” and give her a bracelet or trinket. So I know there’s a feeling of belonging, feeling older and accepted by cool older tweens and such that reinforces it. It’s kind of sweet but I’m just so torn about the whole thing. When I was a kid “ravers” wore these bracelets and binkis and visors…and parents were concerned that if their kid was wearing them that their kid was doing drugs and raving. But in reality the trend and identity trickles down and watered down to just what some teens were wearing as a trend and really wasn’t that big of a deal. I’m wondering if I’m overthinking and overreacting to my feeling about her “identifying” as a Therian in the same way?

I consider myself progressive. I support lgbtqia and want my kids to be accepting and loving to all people. But I am so unsure about how to treat this continued obsession with therianism. It’s not the same. And I don’t want to be overbearing about what she can and can’t be as it might make her dig in deeper instead of it passing as an exploratory phase. but I feel like it’s gotten to be so much of a consuming thing I don’t know if I should step in and set some boundaries or discuss it further with her but don’t know exactly what to do or say.

My son has really changed over the last year, growing more into himself and his interests. His dad and I decided to put him in a different middle school than where his elementary school was, nearby but in a different part of town.

He knew several kids at the new school from sports, but as the past year has gone by he’s found a different social circle. I don’t know their parents and found it difficult to support him socializing outside of school.

Sometimes his friends would ride their bikes together after school, he was invited to different birthday parties, but there’s a big drop off in weekend socializing. He decided he didn’t want to go to a birthday party this weekend for one of his friends, without much explanation.

He has maintained his best friends from elementary school, but in the last month or so I noticed they hadnt been calling each other.

He said this week his group chats were completely dead.

He seems withdrawn compared to full weekend of sports he’s quit and evenings on the phone with his best friend.

He mentions having lunch in the library multiple times this week. We saw a group of kids his age riding their bikes in the neighborhood today and he said he knew them but they’re idiots and all the kids at school are idiots.

I’m so worried about the change to my formerly social kid.

Anyone experience something similar? Any advice?

Looking for strategies to survive the weekends. luckily, there are two of us parenting - so we can technically divvy up responsibilities of kids. But we find that our expectations of the weekend are mismatched. My SO needs to veg after grinding hard at work and parenting on hard mode every min not working. I also want to rest but want quality time as a family. Today we drove 15 min to another part of town to see an exhibit and eat out. There was so much bickering among the kids (one diagnosed one not) we realized no one was enjoying this. Our adhd kid takes a lot of our attn. We thought at this age (middle childhood) parenting demands would ease up. But adhd just kicks us in the face on a daily basis. We are worried about burnout.

My 18-year-old was diagnosed with ADD in third grade. She’s resisted her diagnosis the whole time and refused medication. She manages to do well in school for the most part. The issue is I feel like her behavior towards us is rude and disrespectful, mostly for no obvious reason. Even if I’m just asking her questions about how college is going, she seems to feel judged and criticized. Also very selfish. I guess I’m looking for advice or experiences where it can get better. I want to have a good relationship with her. Just feeling a little powerless.

My 7-year-old son has ADHD and is currently taking Vyvanse 20 mg and guanfacine ER. We started with 1 mg of guanfacine a few weeks ago, and while we’ve seen some positive changes, we’re still struggling with impulsivity, emotional regulation, and defiance, especially at school.

He has moments where he’s doing really well, but he still struggles with being redirected, hearing “no,” and completing tasks he doesn’t want to do. Once he gets frustrated or decides he’s not doing something, it’s really hard to get him to shift gears.

His doctor recommended increasing guanfacine ER to 2 mg while keeping Vyvanse at 20 mg. We just started the increase today, and he seems a little calmer so far.

I’m curious to hear from parents who have been through something similar:

Did you notice a significant difference going from 1 mg to 2 mg?

Did it help with impulsivity, emotional outbursts, or oppositional behavior?

How long did it take before you noticed meaningful improvements?

Did your child become overly tired, irritable, or emotionally flat?

Did you notice improvements at school, especially with following directions and accepting redirection?
I’m not expecting medication to fix everything. We’re working on behavioral strategies and supporting him at home and school, too. I just want to help him feel more in control of his emotions and impulses so he can be successful.

He’s such a sweet, smart, funny kid, and I know he’s trying. I just want things to feel a little easier for him.
I’d really appreciate hearing real-life experiences, especially from parents of kids around ages 6–8 who are taking this combination.

Hello. I am posting this on a throwaway account, but I am at my wit’s end. My 15-year-old son is becoming increasingly rude to his mother. Anything that happens needs to turn into an argument, and our family can’t even go out for dinner without a huge fight. I’ve tried communicating with my son, but he doesn’t see how his words affect her. He is outwardly disobedient and loathes doing anything at all with the family. Many attempts have been made to cater to his likes and interests, to no avail. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

My sister just told me she’s expecting her third child this coming spring. She’s got two already who are super easy kids. It’s brought up a whole surge of resentment in me. My 13 yo daughter has adhd and anxiety but I’m pretty sure is actually AuDHD. I sometimes feel like my whole life has been derailed by her issues. She never slept and still doesn’t. She is so needy and demanding. She overeats and is quite overweight as a result despite my efforts to have healthy food and be active. So now she is obsessed with hating her body and vents at me endlessly and blames me for her body. Shes not a mean kid she’s just a real handful, all the time. She is often rude and aggressive without realising it. I actually feel like that has got harder with age as she stands out more from ‘normal’ kids. I had to leave my job as just couldn’t parent her and keep up the intensity of my old career, which I’d loved and been good at and well paid before. So I’m unemployed, financially compromised, the ‘safe person’ for my girl who demands so much time and effort and help but resists all the help offered… So… yeah, I feel pretty bitter. Somehow my sister’s news feels like rubbing it in. Which I know is ridiculous, I just sometimes wish she and all the other ‘oh we’re such great parents, life is so fun!’ people out there had a damn clue how hard this is. I even found myself thinking maybe her next baby will come out like my daughter and then she’ll stop acting smug. Ugh. I feel so lame even thinking this way. From the outside everyone tells me I’m a great mum. I do everything in my power to help and support my daughter and I try hard to make her feel valued for her amazing qualities like her creativity and humour. And I do the same for our younger child too (who is neurotypical and about a thousand times easier to parent). But inside I’m white knuckling every day. I feel and look old and tired. The jealousy and resentment make me feel so ashamed but I can’t help but wish sometimes that I had two ‘normal’ easy kids and maybe I’d have a normal life… 🙃