r/TwoSentenceComedy • • 16h ago

Some people say I'm a little harsh with my online dating style.

0 Upvotes

But if you send me a typo, I will post your profile in the community forums for local cheaters, and block you.


r/TwoSentenceComedy • • 4h ago

Suddenly, the archeologist girl started convulsing and doing weird movements inside the ancient temple

1 Upvotes

Nobody told me that the old Tomb Raider games were so difficult to play


r/TwoSentenceComedy • • 5h ago

My uncle tried to break the world record for largest submarine sandwich, but was crushed when the top half of the bread fell on him.

14 Upvotes

The man died a hero!


r/TwoSentenceComedy • • 15h ago

My friend invited me over for some fruit and cheese he said would "knock your socks off".

10 Upvotes

He forgot to add "...and stuff them in your mouth" when I found out he was serving durian and Limburger.


r/TwoSentenceComedy • • 17h ago

My religious mother wanted to feel true emptiness and suffering just like Jesus

8 Upvotes

I think I used a bit too much olestra, she's dead