My niece and I have always been close. My wife and I babysat her all the time when she was a small child. She is 24 now and she often babysits my 3-year-old daughter. She’s awesome and we love her so much. For as long as I can remember, whenever we all would say goodbye she would give me a peck on the cheek. Very sweet and completely innocent. The problem is that the last few times we’ve seen her, instead of a peck on the cheek, she has given me a peck on my neck. The first time I thought it was a mistake, but it has happened twice since then. The last time I saw her I gave her a really awkward side hug when she was leaving to avoid the issue.

I don’t know how to handle this problem. Part of me wants to tell her that it isn’t ok to do that and she should stop. But the other part of me knows she is going to be mortified by the conversation. I think it could really damage our relationship. Should I say something or should I just give her awkward side hugs for the rest of my life?

I, F20, sent intimate videos to this guy I matched with on tinder. I sort of felt that he was impersonating someone else so I started to slowly delete stuff I was sending him. Then I blocked his account after he kept asking me to send more stuff.

He then used another account to send me one of the videos I sent him, which he apparently saved. He then asked why I blocked him, and I told him I got scared. I begged him then to delete my photos and videos. He promised he did, but I still reported him to telegram and tinder anyways. I'm very scared and don't know what to do next, as I'm afraid he'll use it to extort me in some way.

Please help.

Edit: to clarify, he has not threatened me or anything. he just sent it and asked why i blocked him. then i told him i'll report him if he doesn't delete them---and he said he did. I just want to know what measures I can take to protect myself.

I texted him the night before last and told him we couldn't be together anymore. It's too triggering for me to be with him knowing that he's likely heading down the same path as my dad. He got really mad at me and I do feel bad but I just can't be with an addict. I'm too young to be dealing with this in the first place. I didn't tell his parents but I did put in an anonymous tip to my school counselor and I trust that they'll get him the help he needs.

The Alateen group near me meets at a time I can't attend because I have work but I'm going to an Al Anon meeting on Friday and I'm hoping it'll give me some insight. I've been dealing with the effects of addiction literally my whole life and I'm only 16, that's not fair and I'm realizing I need help that I'll hopefully receive.

My older sister dated my roommate for almost 3 years. She's actually the reason we became roommates in the first place because she suggested we get a place together when I was looking for somewhere to live.

They broke up about a month ago. She hasn't told me exactly what happened, just that she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore.

Now she's asking me to move out because she thinks it's disrespectful that I'm still living with him. The problem is we have 5 months left on our lease, and breaking it would be expensive. He's been a perfectly normal roommate throughout all of this and hasn't tried involving me in their breakup.

My sister says I'm choosing him over family and she's started bringing it up to our parents. They're telling me I should at least consider moving because she's clearly hurt.

I understand why she's uncomfortable, but I didn't break up with anyone and I don't think I should have to rearrange my living situation over their relationship.

What would you do? Ride out the lease or move to keep the peace?

I recently moved into a new unit with only street parking. No one told me anything about assigned spots, it has been 3 months.

Today this guy started knocking on my door super hard and frantically repeatedly in a scary way (weird bc no one knocks on my door, as it is not publically visible) and when I opened it he started yelling at me saying he's lived here for 5 years and thats his spot and I have to move. I was really triggered with my ptsd and already having a bad day so I just kept repeating like "im so sorry, no one told me about assigned spots, im so sorry, ill just move it right now, im so sorry, no one told me, ill move it, i didnt know, im sorry".

I think by the end he felt kind of bad (as he should) and tried to offer to help me parallel park elsewhere, i was like just wanting to get away from him asap so I declined and just parked on the other side of the street and went back inside.

I feel like he was needlessly accusatory and loud and dont want him to do it again thinking its just fine to talk to me like that. I want to leave him a note on his car, but I am worried it might cause more problems. I will paste my draft below. Do you think I should not do it? Could it cause problems with the landlord? Will he want to retaliate? Would you add/change/remove any parts of the letter? I generally want to make him feel like a piece of shit.

"Dearest neighbor,

I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for going out of your way to so kindly let me know about the assigned parking spaces! I was having a hard day and had recently gotten home from ptsd therapy and physical therapy and was trying to rest and recover when your incredibly enthusiastic knocking started the first time.

Forgive me for taking a moment to answer the door-- i was rather startled by the frantic hubbub and at first was worried it was some crazed violent lunatic at my door and was not going to answer for fear of my own safety, but by the third round of  greatly impassioned knocking i was worried it could be a neighbor having some sort of medical emergency.

I am ever so relieved it was just my cool, collected, friendly neighbor, a self-proclaimed vetran tenant of five years no less, making such a thoughtful house call to so calmly check if i had ever been informed about the assigned parking spaces that are so clearly labeled. Thank you so much for making me feel so welcomed and safe in my new home, for so thoughtfully showing me the ropes! I will certainly never repeat my egregious mistake now that youve blessed me with the power of knowledge!

If it isnt too much trouble, it would mean ever so much to me if you could keep your knocking a bit less zealous and frantic in the future, and offer future neighborly advice with less impassioned tone and assumptions of malintent when ignorance of assigned spaces is more likely, as it is not mentioned in any paperwork ive seen. Thank you again for being so kind and mellow, it is always lovely to not have an angry guy raising his voice, pounding on the door to your home, throwing around accusations.

Best."

A former coworker recommended me for an opening at the company she works at now. She sent my resume directly to her manager, helped me prepare for the interview and kept telling me how great the team is.

Everything went well until the final interview. The manager mentioned they weren't renewing the contract of their current coordinator and wanted someone to take over those responsibilities. My friend is literally the current coordinator.

She thinks they're expanding the team. She's even been texting me asking if I've heard back yet.

HR called with an offer and I haven't responded. I need the job and the salary is better than what I'm making now, but I feel terrible knowing she helped me get hired without realizing what was happening.

Do I tell her before accepting? Or is this something I should stay out of considering I wasn't involved in their decision?

Yesterday, I got a call from my husband not even an hour and a half into his shift and he tells me his boss sent him home because he didn’t seem like himself. Not even 5 minutes from the initial call, I get another one with him telling me that the higher up who hired him back into the company said that they were letting him go. He asked if I could come pick him up because he felt uncomfortable and unsafe to drive back home.
When I got there to pick him up, I was met with three cop cars and was immediately questioned about if he was using or drinking. Someone had called the police to check up on my husband since he had fallen asleep in the car while he was waiting for me to pick him up. I explained to them that he is currently struggling heavily with his mental health due to going through legal proceedings against his ex wife in terms of visitations with their daughter and him being on the wrong dosage of his anti depressant medication.

At this point, I’m uncomfortable having to deal with the cops when all I was wanting to do is take my husband back home with no problems. They searched the car and found nothing out of the ordinary. All they asked if I was okay taking him home since he seemed drowsy and out of it.

It took him by surprise since it was his first time ever getting fired from a job, but I was already preparing for the worst recently. My husband has always struggled with depression and addiction, specifically alcoholism. There had been 2 previous instances where he had gotten write ups since he would leave early because he would leave home sober and then make the conscious decision to drink before getting to work. I understand the struggle of addiction from first hand experience, but this isn’t the first time he has been drinking on the clock at any other job he has had in the past. I have been on the fence of having an intervention for him with his family members, but I also don’t want to expose my partner’s struggles and it be confrontational rather than supportive and respectful.

I feel so many emotions and I don’t know what we’re going to do about him losing his job, which helped cover our rent and some of our bills/health insurance, while I was able to use my check to cover groceries/smaller bills and car payment/insurance. I want to be angry towards his poor choices and him losing his job, but I know all that’s going to do is make him feel even worse about the situation rather than help the both of us figure out what the plan is going to be in the meantime while he finds a new job. Another part is being reasonable and wants to communicate what we are going to do to pay rent this month and the rest of our finances moving forward while I work. The answer is not leaving him at his most vulnerable.

All I ask is for is listening ears and once I am able to start on health insurance again, I’ll be able to see a therapist like I was before I lost coverage to have professional support. Is there any recommendations/advice from anyone who has had to have an intervention for a loved one/had an intervention?

my situationship (i hate calling it that) and i have been seeing each other for about 2 1/2 years now. we have always had amazing sex. as of recent he hasn’t been able to stay hard and sex isn’t as “intense” or sensual as it used to be. i feel like i’m more into it than he is. as of a few months ago, i noticed that he has to get hard over and over again. i’ve been sick for a week or so, so we haven’t had sex. last night, we had sex after a week 1/2, he initiated. i honestly wasn’t too turned on because he kinda just went for it and didn’t do any foreplay. i’m assuming he noticed because shortly after, he went down on me. everything was back on track. we continue to do the deed, but he was struggling to stay hard, so much so that he wanted to stop. i asked if something was wrong and he said no. there wasn’t any attitude change from him or anything where he seemed “off”. he did recently lose his job and he said he has been feeling a bit insecure. when i asked him what he was insecure about, he said “everything.” idk what to do. i know that he isnt the one for me and that he isnt going to be able to fulfill me in the ways i need so maybe our time is just coming to an end. idk, what do you think? should i talk to him about this? idk???!!!! i’ve also tried ending things with him but he makes that near impossible.

I direct a dance crew. Already, I have lost three members out of a total of nine (originally...) to different things. One seemed very genuinely upset that she had to quit and even teared up when she told me. She said work and school were becoming too much and she quit near the beginning of the semester. The second quit allegedly bc she took up another more pressing issue but then went on to explain its because she got a new puppy... And the last quit because of health reasons (understandable). I really don't want to miss another member. Although she learns choreo the slowest, she helped us raise a lot of money for costumes and always has a positive attitude. She's a Phd person also.

At the beginning of the semester, we explain to each of our dancers that we have a commitment to two practices a week for a special performance at the end of the semester. We allow two unexcused abSences. This dancer reached her two. She let us know that she had an important date she needed to make and needed to miss a practice. We let her know it was okay if she scheduled a makeup practice. She bailed on the makeup practice that she scheduled. Tonight, a day before practice, she short notice let us know that she would need to miss BOTH practices to prepare for her event and finish Phd research... We fear that this lack of time management could lead to further absences in the future and are worried that she will drop the group closer to the performance. How do you suggest we deal with this dancer?

TLDR: We had a dancer reach the max absences allowed. She told us she needs an unexcused absence for schoolwork and preparation time. We aren't sure what to do

Ok so this is eating me alive, as the title suggests one of my best mates. I know his wife and they also know my wife. Now my friend and his wife are currently living apart, and his wife went out with mine and told her secretly that she misses sex and has been sleeping with other guys for time pass. Obviously she told her in confidence but my wife told me this anyway.

I honestly can’t see her the same way now and hate her for it. I know how much of a good guy he is, Part of me wants to tell him, but then he’s madly in love with her he might not even believe me. And there’s no actual evidence. This might end up messing up our friendship with him thinking I’m trying to break them up.

Has anyone been in this situation and handled it? What would you all do.?

Deciding what to do here as my report with my child is just absolutely low. We divorced about 5 years back, and since then there's been constant rumors and shit talk by my ex, and my daughter buys all of it. We have the basics at my house, chores, rewards for work done, game nights and movie nights. In spite of this there has been less and less and less engagement from my kid, to the point where she will just blank stare while I'm talking with her.

I'm exhausted. I'm sick of defending myself. I'm sick of the abuse continuing via a proxy through my child.

I'm at a loss, and I don't know how to continue as we are. Do I say "You're 16 if you don't want to be here, stay with your mom or get an apartment" or just keep suffering this? I have had enough of people ignoring me in my life, and I'm just tired of the cruelty of it all.

​

For background, my girlfriend and I started dating during our first year in college. Everything was good, and the relationship moved fast because we clearly liked each other's differences. We are also both academically competitive, so we lasted much longer than the average fling. We got to know each other well, and it turned out her family was struggling financially. As the child of the owner of a decently running shop, I introduced her to my family and asked my mother to let her work in the business because we were also short on staff. Everything went great during that time. However, because of her financial struggles, she couldn't afford a dorm anymore, so we let her stay at our house with her parents' permission (we slept in separate rooms).

Aside from her financial struggles, my girlfriend also lacks attention and care from her parents, which forces her to do everything by herself. She really lacks the ability to suppress her emotions and has developed trauma from it.

Now onto the main problem: my mother has always been a very considerate person, but as she aged, she became one of those very religious people who will judge someone at the drop of a hat. My mother and father judge everyone, even treating it like a joke and thinking it is funny and somehow relatable, without realizing it actually hurts people's feelings. As for me, I learned to tolerate it and just avoid talking to them, which unfortunately means I'm not really close with my parents. But for my girlfriend, she cannot handle these emotions well; minor judgments really affect her. We can't do anything about it because we are living under their roof, and when I talked to them about their attitude, they didn't really change. As the years went on, my mother's words started getting to my girlfriend, and I really don't know what to do anymore.

Since we have already graduated, I suggested we move out to an apartment once we find jobs, but that's still just a plan for the future, and I really don't know how to help her right now. So, what should I do?

I want to start out by saying that I don’t have OCD or anxiety. I believe this falls more under an intense fear that’s gradually gotten more intense over the years.

I’ve never been a fan of bugs or insects, but over the past couple of years, this dislike has morphed into a fear that i can’t seem to manage no matter how hard I try. It’s gotten to the point where, if i see a speck or small dot on my bedroom wall that i don’t recognize, i can suddenly feel my heartbeat banging against my neck because i think it’s a bug. even if i inspect the dot in question and realize it isn’t, i can’t bring myself to relax for hours to days afterwards and I don’t know why. every time I feel a crumb or small particle (dust, lint, etc) in my bed, i have to strip my mattress and inspect it to make sure i don’t have bedbugs. the process takes around an hour each time and i’m honestly starting to feel exhausted. my boyfriend loves the outdoors and I’d love more than anything to take him camping, but the thought of spending more than a few minutes walking on my own lawn makes me feel sick, like anything could have crawled into my shoes/up my leg and will eventually crawl off and infest my home.

Is there anyone else who struggles with this? I’m not exactly looking for a solution here, just a step forward because it’s starting to affect my relationships and grades. The people I love are starting to get (justifiably) irritated by me panicking every time i see a fruit fly, and i’ve been getting distracted while studying because i can’t focus without having turned my entire room inside out to make sure there are no bugs around.

Sorry if this sounds incomprehensible, i’m not a frequent Reddit poster- just sort of at the end of my rope here. Thank you for your time.

I’m at a job site (not close to home) and what I thought was a fart actually had a little surprise so now going home to change or call off the day isn’t an option given the time of day I’m at a gas station should I try washing some of my boxer and clean up just until I make it home or should I just clean up and go commando ? WWYD?

So I (19F) have a bestfriend (18F). We've been bestfriends for 10 years but just recently became classmates. Recently, I've noticed she's been distant again and is now closer to our mutual friend rather than me. She opens up her problems (mostly about me) to this mutual friend, she also talks about life, boys, general stuff with her—things she used to talk with me. Our mutual friend has hinted to me about what my bestfriend has said about me to her.

Now here's the thing, the mutual friend said the reason my bestfriend is being distant is because she suspects that I like her. I did, but I moved on. She also said there's a whole paragraph of things that I do that my bestfriend does not like.

Now, she’s waiting for me to confess my past feelings to her to talk and tell me everything that she doesn't like about me. My question is, why does she need to wait for me to confess for her to talk about it? I'm genuinely confused.

I don't know what to do, I tried confessing so that we can resolve this already because it's affecting me really bad, I couldn't even enjoy my own birthday because of this; but our mutual friend not to because my bestfriend is currently in a mania—something she never opened up to me but opened up to others about.

They also got mad recently because I confided to someone else about how they leave me out because why did I do that instead of talking to them about my feelings but they're literally doing the same thing as I did, not telling me the problem but ranting about it to our mutual friend.

I'm really tired, I wanna fix it because it's really hurting me rn but idk what to do. Any advice would be appreciated because I'm really lost. Sorry if this is all over, I'm just really emotional rn and I'm exhausted.

Throwaway,

I'm a sophomore in highschool, every year it seems theres at least one gun death, but i really wasn't expecting it. It wasn't in school, he got shot on the road near. School's closed tmmrw. Some sick person posted photos of the body. I heard from the groupchat. Happened after school hours. I'm so angry and I'm so scared, and I want to do something but I don't know what. I didn't know him but some of my friends did. He was 17. It was ruled as an "incident." I hate that, it's not an incident. It makes me so ridiculously angry. The word incident makes it sound like "oh, its just smth that happens." I don't know what to do now, I'm at a loss. I've been frozen, then i took a walk and ended up just walking to school and having a panic attack in the parking lot. My mom picked me up and now I'm home. I can't stop shaking, like seriously, wtf are you supposed to do in this situation? I feel so weird and im numb but full of emotions, I want to feel normal tmmrw, I can't sleep, what the hell do I do right now?

For context I’m a male in his early 20’s.

My mom is trying to force herself into my therapy sessions. For the purpose of «helping» or having an overview of a situation that’s not getting better.

If I refuse she thinks I’m hiding something from her. That I told something that I don’t want her to know etc. to the therapist. She starts to become highly suspicious.

I understand where she’s coming from. She wants to help I think and I’m nothing but an emotional shut in that’s barely functional enough to eat, sleep and shit and that’s it. I rot in my bed. I could never make friends and I’m burnt out from just existing since I was 12.

I recently told my therapist I may have Asperger Syndrome and asked for an assessment, he agreed and said we should do that. When I told my mom long before that I may have it, she exploded, screamed at me and tried to deny it, she couldn’t accept it. Jumped from the dinner table all the way to the living room with open eyes.

Eventually she came to accept it, that I may have it.. after telling her all the stuff from my childhood, teenage years and it was undeniable and she just looked sad, BUT she said I can’t tell the therapist AT ALL, or mention asperger. She also had a sad face for the rest of the day. I decided to get the help I needed, and I’m confident I can get the diagnosis without her presence.

The problem is, she wants to know what me and my therapist are talking about now and where we are. She let me go alone two times which I then took my chance and she wants to go with me again.

What would you do in this situation?

I finally spoke up and made a report against my abuser and his friends were telling everyone how it gave him anxiety and then a girl in the same circle of people told me she feels bad for him. I don’t understand how she hears what he did to me and then feels bad for him because i told people what he did. Should i not tell anyone else?

So, I’ve been friends with this girl for about three years now, and recently, I’ve realized that I’ve developed feelings for her. The problem is that, as our friendship has grown closer, I’ve started noticing certain things about her behaviour that I find difficult to understand and, honestly, somewhat unattractive.

To begin with, I know she doesn’t feel the same way about me, and I understand that we’re just friends. I have no expectations of her reciprocating my feelings, nor do I believe she owes me anything. However, there are certain things she does that leave me feeling conflicted.

She often says that she doesn’t want a relationship, yet she actively approaches guys, follows them on Instagram, and flirts with them. What bothers me isn't necessarily the fact that she's talking to other guys, because she's single and free to do whatever she wants. Rather, it's the apparent contradiction between saying she doesn't want a relationship and actively seeking out these interactions. I find myself questioning whether she genuinely wants to stay single or simply hasn't found someone she's interested in yet. It sounds very hypocritical

Another thing that bothers me is that, whenever the topic comes up, she seems reluctant to admit that she was the one who followed these guys first, even though she acknowledges approaching them and initiating conversations. This makes me question why she feels the need to deny something that doesn't seem particularly wrong in the first place. If she's comfortable approaching these guys, why not just be honest about it? I think the perceived dishonesty bothers me more than the flirting itself.

Over time, I realized that I was becoming increasingly judgmental about her actions. I would question her decisions and confront her about them, to the point where she eventually stopped sharing these things with me. Looking back, I can understand why she might have felt uncomfortable telling me about her interactions with other guys, especially since we're only friends and she doesn't owe me an explanation for what she does.

However, even yesterday, I noticed that she had followed another guy from across the country and started talking to him. Seeing this brought those feelings back, and it made me question why I was so bothered by something that technically has nothing to do with me.

Part of me wonders whether I genuinely dislike this behaviour because it conflicts with my personal values, particularly when it comes to honesty and consistency between someone's words and actions. Another part of me wonders whether I'm simply holding her to a higher standard because I've developed feelings for her. Perhaps I subconsciously want to see her as someone who is different from other girls, and seeing her actively pursue other guys challenges that perception.

I also wonder whether there's an element of jealousy involved, even if I don't consciously expect anything from her. Maybe the thought of her showing interest in other guys forces me to confront the reality that I'm just her friend and that she has a romantic life separate from me. Or perhaps it's not jealousy at all, but rather that I'm discovering traits in someone I like that I wouldn't necessarily look for in a romantic partner.

At the same time, I recognize that there's a difference between finding someone's behaviour unattractive and believing that they're doing something wrong. She's single, she's allowed to pursue whoever she wants, and she doesn't have to live according to my expectations. Just because I don't understand or personally agree with her choices doesn't automatically make those choices unacceptable.

Ultimately, I'm trying to figure out whether my discomfort comes from my own feelings, my personal values, or a combination of both. Am I genuinely turned off by certain aspects of her personality, particularly what I perceive as inconsistency and dishonesty, or am I using those things to rationalize my jealousy because I like her?

I'd appreciate some honest perspectives on this. I want to understand my own feelings better without unfairly judging her or dismissing my own concerns.

Hi, I’d like to talk through a friendship and relationship situation because I’m having trouble understanding what I’m feeling. I’m not looking to leave my relationship; I care about my girlfriend and want help figuring out whether my feelings are valid and what might be a healthy way to handle them.

There’s a girl I’ve known since elementary school. We reconnected in middle school during COVID, and I was straightforward with her then about liking her, even though she had a boyfriend. She made it clear she wanted to keep things platonic, and I respected that. Since then, we’ve had periods where we talked for a few weeks or months, stopped talking for a while, and later reconnected. She’s still with the same boyfriend, and they’ve been together for around eight or nine years.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little under two years, on and off. During one of our breaks, this girl and I ran into each other at college and would sit and talk. When my girlfriend and I got back together, the girl and I kept in touch. My girlfriend saw our messages and wasn’t comfortable with me texting other girls, even though I saw the conversations as platonic and innocent. I removed the girl from Instagram. She reached out afterward, and I asked my girlfriend if I could respond to explain why I’d stopped talking to her, but my girlfriend said no. A couple of weeks later, the girl blocked me and then later unblocked me. We still say hi when we see each other at school.

Recently, my girlfriend posted a picture of us kissing and spending time together. The girl liked it and posted a note that said “heart sank.” Later, she posted a TikTok story with the words “I want you to miss me” and a song with the same lyrics. I don’t know whether those posts were about me, and I’m trying not to assume they mean she has feelings for me.

What’s been bothering me most may be that I lost an old friendship and couldn’t explain why I stopped responding—not necessarily that I want a romantic relationship with her. I’m unsure whether my feelings are romantic, grief over losing the friendship, or both. I haven’t told my girlfriend about the old romantic feelings, and I’m hesitant to bring them up because I worry she’ll question why I’m thinking about this and make it into a bigger issue. I’d appreciate advice on understanding what I’m feeling and handling the situation in a way that respects my relationship.