I'm not Mormon, but my uni is near a Mormon ward and therefore I have met a few different sets of missionaries. I chat to them since 1) I appreciate the company and 2) I think they do too. I can tell they're all lonely and are used to being rejected in rude ways, so I'm kind to them. I'll donate them my spare clothes and cook them dinner on occasion, and they're always kind to me. A couple of them have become friends of sorts, and they'll message me even after they leave. They haven't baptized me yet, but they don't seem to think any less of me--or at least they don't say it to my face. Apparently, they also tell incoming missionaries to find me because I'll feed them haha.

The last set of female missionaries that were in my town weren't quite so friendly as the ones I've met in the past. The one was kind enough, but she struck me as insincere. She stuck around for about six months. Her companion, sent here in August, was apparently brand-spanking-new to missionary life. She was very withdrawn. I tried talking to her a few times and she'd usually reply curtly. A couple of times we did talk a bit and I can tell that she is terribly homesick. It turned out that we both love soccer (she played back home, while my hometown was too small for there to be a team) and we talked a bit about that. I had the feeling that she was utterly miserable in our town and just wanted to go home, and honestly, I couldn't blame her.

Well, the girl wasn't even here all of two months when I saw that two new female missionaries were in town. An acquaintance of mine goes to the ward, so I asked her where the old missionaries had gone. She looked a bit awkward. She told me that Sister So-and-so (the withdrawn girl who liked soccer) had tried starting a relationship with a male missionary in the district. The girl's female companion reported her to higher-ups, and when switching or rotation time came (sorry, I don't know the proper terminology), the church shipped both her and the male missionary to "undesirable wards". I don't know what that means, if the area's rougher or living quarters are worse. But I just know that this girl is somewhere in a small town in South Dakota, and it, for whatever reason, isn't a good place to be.

I feel so shaken. I'm so angry on this girl's behalf. Maybe getting in a relationship is against the rules, but seriously--you ship an eighteen-year-old thousands of miles from her hometown to a place where she knows no one, can only talk to her family once a month, and get shocked when she tries to find some sort of personal connection? And then you have the galls to try to punish her for it? How Christ-like. Oh my gosh. I really wish I could find this girl and give her a hug but she was sent nine hours from me and I'm sure if I found her Facebook or texted her that someone is breathing down her back. My heart is so heavy for her. She's really all alone now and I hate that the church has done this to her.

Today is my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. They were married in the Manti temple. They have 8 children. They were always super active in the Mormon church and raised all 8 kids to be good little Mormons.

My mom died 10 years ago, right before their 40th anniversary. In that time, two of their kids, me being one of them, came out as gay and left the church. Another one has left the church for other reasons. And one hasn’t been to church in over ten years and doesn’t believe, but hasn’t had their name removed. So half of their children aren’t in the church anymore.

I called my dad this evening to see how he’s doing, since I can imagine how hard today must be for him. He answered the phone, said I was on speaker, and that he was in salt lake with my four active Mormon siblings. He, and three of those siblings, would have had to fly across the country to be out there.

Clearly, this was a planned trip. And I was never invited. Not even told about it. The other gay sibling had no idea either. The other sibling that has left the church said they knew because it was in the family group chat, which I left many months ago for my mental health. My dad knew I wasn’t in the group chat, as well as my gay sibling. He copies and pastes stuff from the group chat and sends it to me in our direct messages. So he intentionally did not tell me about this trip.

I am so fucking hurt and angry. I have been out of the church for five years. I thought I had made peace with the fact that half my family still believes in and actively contributes to an organization that hates me. But my dad, and four of my siblings, celebrating my parents’ anniversary, completely leaving me out, has hurt me more than any other thing they’ve done.

I hate the Mormon church. I hate that it divides families. My dad has chosen the church over his own children. And I know why. It’s because he truly believes that the only way that he’ll get to be with mom again is through the Mormon church. That is the level of brainwashing that the Mormon church does to its members. How fucking messed up is that?!

I don’t know what to do now. I am so so so angry. With my dad. With my Mormon siblings. I don’t have words to express the hurt that I am feeling right now.

I don’t think I’m looking for advice right now. But maybe just some validation and understanding of what this feels like. Because it’s fucking awful.

There’s also the small problem of the LDS missionary program literally trafficking people.

At the start of the pandemic, I helped a convert dad get his son home from Central America. We had to get the state department involved because the church would not give the missionary his passport/visa before the world shut down.

The entire so-called church is just awful.

I've never liked how the church refuses to acknowledge the status of an individual as an adult

11-18 year olds are young Men & Women (very adult titles) 18-35 and unmarried were Young Single Adults. NEVER a full real adult until married.

According this wonderful invitation, now, married or nor, 18-35 are 'young adults'

Really funny since the new age for 'Senior Missionary' is 26. Bwah ha ha ha ha

Hey. Sorry I want to rant again.

Im a service missionary in Utah, came home early because proselytizing felt wrong and didn’t believe what I was teaching. Now Im on my journey to finally leave the church quietly. Im officially ending my mission at the end of the year and am applying for school, and I’m going to the service sites that actually equate to helping people until then.

Ive made it clear to my mission President that Im ending my mission early. My Mission President set me aside today to chat. I thought he was going to give me an update on my mission papers. Instead, he gave me a lengthy lesson on attending church and covenants. The whole meeting was uncomfortable, pausing to remind me that “I could talk to him about anything”.

Does he think people only leave because they break their covenants?

Im leaving because I never received a spiritual prompting that the church was true, nor the Book of Mormon, despite persistent effort and prayers.

And again, just like with the stake President, he reminded me that missions are important if you want to have a chance at dating in the church, and how covenant keeping is “the only true way” for married couples to be happy in their relationships.

Jesus Christ. I kept my mouth shut and let him finish his lesson. Why can’t I just be happy with someone for who they are? What if my dating preferences don’t align with the church’s policies? Why do god and church have to infiltrate every detail of my life?

Anyways, there’s my rant. I only have to bite my tongue a little longer until I move out to college. Thanks for reading.

I just learned that future QB of Jesus’s favorite football team is only serving a 1 year mission….. I despise byu with an extra dose of hatred for their sports programs (sorry current fans on the channel). Has the church formally given the obvious reason or have they played the avoid the elephant in the room game? Or have they just bull shitted the reason?

I don’t know that I have ever fully regretted my mission because there was some positive personal growth but I never got a foreign language out of it or a chance to see the world. I have regretted the 2 year pause it put on my life and education and the $10,000. To think of I had just been able to throw a football far I could have cut time and cost in half.

What the hell is happening…..

This calls to mind Brigham Young’s 1852 announcement of plural marriage: practiced secretly for years, yet a total shock to the congregation. This pastor essentially did the same thing, introducing a second wife after three years of marriage behind closed doors.

I believed and was told for 30+ years that I was born into God's chosen church/people and part of the chosen generation, that I was so lucky and blessed to go to BYU, that God had a special "plan and work for me" (quote from my patriarchal blessing...), that miracles happened to saints all the time, and literally that I would become a God someday.

Well after a few years of deconstruction, it is finally hitting me that I am just like the 8 billion other people on this earth: I am trying to make the best living I can given my circumstances. I am not chosen or special. Just a human. It is humbling but also relieving: I don't need to be special, perfect, or amazing; just myself.

I was on my way home from work today, driving down my street, when I noticed the first counselor in my ward’s bishopric out walking, as he often does for exercise.

As I was backing my truck into my driveway, he stopped and waited for me to get out.

We made a little small talk, and then he asked me, “So, what do we need to do to get you back to the temple?”

He explained that they don’t look at the temple recommend lists very often (yeah, right), but that they had recently looked and noticed that mine was “very expired.”

He then asked again, “What do we need to do to get you back to the temple?”

Now, this wasn’t exactly the conversation I was hoping to have standing in my driveway after a long day of work. I just wanted to get inside, see my wife and kids, get everyone fed, clean up the kitchen, and get the kids off to softball practice.

I wasn’t prepared to get into my faith crisis right then and there.

So I simply told him, “Well, I guess I’d need to talk to somebody about that.”
He responded that he’d be more than happy to sit down and talk with me at church.

For some context, I haven’t told anyone in my ward where I currently stand with the church. I’m not “inactive” I still go to church when my wife decides that she wants to go in order to support her. I’ve only discussed my loss of belief with family and close friends.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time studying, researching, and trying to make sense of everything. I have a pretty good understanding of the reasons I’ve reached this point, but organizing all those thoughts into a coherent conversation is another matter entirely.

Reasons like polygamy in the church, the treatment of women and LGBTQ people, black people and the priesthood etc, etc, etc.

I’ve actually wanted to have this discussion with someone in church leadership for quite some time. But now that it looks like the opportunity is presenting itself, I’m finding myself a little nervous.

I don’t want this to turn into an argument or a debate. I would like to have an honest, respectful conversation about where I am, how I got here, and why I no longer believe.

At the same time, I want to make sure I have my ducks in a row. I don’t want to walk away wishing I’d brought up something important or feeling like I wasn’t able to adequately explain myself.

For those of you who have had similar conversations with your bishop or other ward leaders:

What topics or questions did you find most important to discuss?

Were there things you wish you’d brought up but didn’t?

How did you keep the conversation productive rather than allowing it to turn into a debate or an attempt to resolve every concern with a testimony?

Is there anything you would recommend I prepare for ahead of time? I thought about writing down some bullet points to refer to during the talk but I don’t really know how this conversation is going to go.

I’m not looking to attack anyone’s beliefs or convince him that he’s wrong. I just want to be able to articulate why I’ve reached the conclusions I have and hopefully have a meaningful conversation.

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences and any advice you might have.

I've been out of the Mormon cult 28 years and out of Utah 28 years. I'm Gay and have a husband and live in Florida. I saw on Facebook my oldest grandson is going on a mission and will open his mission letter tonight. He will be 21 in February and chose not to go on a mission when he turned 18. Today his father my son texted me and invited me to zoom the letter opening. I'm in shock! I have accepted. Yearly when we visit my children he Always invites me and my husband to any activity the grandkids have. We will not be flying out to his mission farewell. I'm disappointed that is going but what can I say. At least he has 2 1/2 years of college done.

I’m having a really hard time with members continuously telling me that my scrupulosity/strong devotion in the church was abnormal and weird. I will say that scrupulosity doesn’t seem to be the average/normal way that everyone took the teachings, BUT scrupulosity IS the NORMAL way that the teachings wanted you to take them. Does that make any sense? I’m not sure how to word that, but I just feel that scrupulosity was THE only way to do things if you took everything literally and seriously which is exactly what the teachings teach you to do!!!

Anyone who didn’t take everything literally and seriously, wasn’t actually adhering properly to all the exact teachings. It’s normal human nature to not want to follow a bunch of rules, but it’s also a perfectly normal response to take teachings literally and seriously when you’re told to take them literally and seriously. Why can’t members just validate my scrupulosity experience as a perfectly appropriate response to the teachings!? (I know exactly why they don’t, but I just need to vent)

When you made a covenant in the temple to give your all to the church, it literally meant your ALL if you were ever asked to give it—time, talents, and physical items. Just like the pioneers gave away many of their things to help build the temple. There is no other way to understand that teaching than to take it in a scrupulous way. You’re supposed to be scrupulous (literal and serious) with this covenant (and all of your covenants). If you aren’t, then you aren’t fully keeping your covenants! Am I wrong? Please let me know if I am!

When the scriptures say to deny yourselves of all ungodliness it should be taken literally and seriously. Is everyone always able to perfectly deny themselves of all ungodliness? No way! But should they TRY to? Absolutely! Is it weird to interpret that scripture to mean that you need to literally deny yourself of ALL ungodliness? I don’t think it’s a stretch one bit to interpret this scripture in a scrupulous way! Now, it is probably normal for most humans to not try to follow this teaching because it’s too hard, but my interpretation of this scripture is absolutely a perfectly normal way to interpret it. Am I wrong? Please let me know if I am!

Funny but not funny, but now I have family members who have to double check anything I say, "just to make sure".

In any event, it's not going to make me want to go back to the Mormon church.

Suppose an alternate history where Emma was getting really upset about all of Joseph's wives, so God told Joseph that Emma could take another husband. And suppose she chose a 14 year-old boy. Do you think that people would be able to dismiss it so readily?

My Mother asked last night if I wanted a Fathers blessing before I Ship to Army boot camp today. I’m 19M and my parents know I’m adamantly agnostic atheist and that I I’m super out of the church. (I don’t think they know I got my records removed). Anyway I was shocked because tf you mean do I want a fathers blessing. “No, Why would you even ask that?” I said. And I know getting a blessing gives some people comfort but I do not like my parents and do not want a blessing from my father who was very unavailable and not someone I respect. And in an LDS context it’s very much about “in the name of Jesus”. About a year and a half ago I graduated high school and wanted a GAP year to figure myself out, my parents didn’t like that I wasn’t currently working a job or going to school or on a mission. I was threatened to be kicked out of the house many times for playing video games on the gaming laptop I owned with my own money. They would take my stuff and wouldn’t give it back! Mind you I was 18 at the time and they even said “Do you think being 18 changes anything and the rules of the house?” Uhh yea it does.. I almost had to call the police on my dad for theft and we got into a physical fight. He once started throwing my stuff onto the lawn saying shit like get outta here etc. So yea I have mommy and daddy problems and I sure as hell don’t want a blessing from him. It enrages me how insensitive and pushy my mom is about “God still loves you even though you can’t see him” which is along the lines of what she said after. She has been saying this shit ever since I left in January and became Christian for a short time then atheist. I straight up had to say “Why do you keep saying this stuff? I don’t believe in him! He isn’t real!” And I’ve made multiple attempts telling her to stop and tried to explain to the both of them how ridiculous it sounds to say things like “God loves you” and “even if you can’t see or don’t want to see” he is still there! Lady I don’t care I don’t need a God to cope and feel better about hard situations lol. Ironically my dad asked why I was so sensitive and offended by my mom saying that, “you don’t believe in fairies but me saying fairies love you doesn’t offend you”. Exactly! That’s how ridiculous it sounds that’s like saying fairies love me! And he didn’t see it. They mock me a lot when I defend my disbelief in their particular god. Thank God I’ll be gone for 5 months. I’ll probably be moving the hell away and seeing them almost never once I return. They are such insufferable baby minded individuals. I hate my parents. What a joke bruh, the irony of “Mormon Love” and then the same people are lunatics!!

Nov 2025: minimum missionary age for women dropped from 19 to 18 (Church News). Jan 2026: Oaks says he hopes lower missionary ages will lead to people marrying younger (SL Trib).

Now look at the data Jana Riess pulled from Ryan Burge's 100k-person survey: of 18-year-old women raised LDS, only about 37.5% still identify as LDS (SL Trib). Young women are now leaving faster than young men, which is a complete reversal of the old pattern.

So the church's answer to young women leaving is: get them on a mission sooner and get them married sooner. Less time to think, more sunk cost. Am I being cynical?

If you're a woman who left, would going out at 18 have kept you in longer, or just made the eventual exit more painful ("sunk cost fallacy")?

Looks like very few people in the stake want to take off work on a Friday to volunteer at the cannery. I guess when no one shows up for work things fall behind. Maybe as an employer charitable organization church you will need to increase the compensation motivation promised blessings in order to get more people to work for free volunteer.

What happens when no one shows up? A shift is cancelled? Work and schedules fall behind? The organization is motivated to replace voluntolds with actual jobs, helping to support families and people in the community? Nothing at all?

Probably the Stake President will get scolded by the Area Authorities and the members will be scolded about furthering the work and sacrifice and dedication to the Lord in the next Stake conference meeting.

Quarterly reminder: the Church claims to be the one true church, led by God, a “global church” and are yet to call a single black person to the quorum of the 12. FYI, It has called over 105 apostles since 1835, and not one has been Black. IT IS 2026!

A global church yet 7 out of the current 15 are white and from Utah/Idaho. Happy Tuesday!

It’s upsetting because I really did try so hard. I never really wanted to do any of these things, but I did them because my parents wanted me to. I went to an LDS school, served a mission, and got married in the temple. And yet, here I am.

I feel emotionally exhausted just thinking about my parents and our relationship. I never chose to be attracted to the same sex, but it has caused so much pain for the people I care and love. I hate that this church taught us to see something that was never a choice as something so heartbreaking.

If my parents were just terrible people, I could probably just cut them off and move on. But they’re not.(They are not perfect) I love them, and I know they’re trying. That’s what makes this so hard.

When referring to the LDS church, numerous options exist. I no longer use “the church” as it presumes the one and only and I’m not going to spell out the entire thing, but what’s the best nickname to use among us exmos?

Dead Names  
    The Church of Christ (1830)  
    The Church of the Latter Day Saints (1834)  
    Mormon church (2018, a major victory for Satan, but cue Monty Python, “I’m not dead yet.”)

Nicknames  
    TCOJCOLDS with/without Exmo additions  
    TSCC  
    MFMC

Have I missed any others?