I didn’t plan to write this.
I was thinking about legalization, history, and how weird humans are about plants, and somewhere along the way I started writing from the plant’s point of view.
Five thousand words later, it turned into an autobiography of cannabis across history, prohibition, legalization, and what it thinks comes next.
If you like philosophical humor, long reads, or the idea that plants might be quietly judging us, or you have the munchies this might be for you.
\*\*THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A VERY CONFUSED PLANT\*\*
\*\*Chapter 1: From Cosmic Accident to “Hey, What Does This Do?”\*\*
Hello.
Yes, hello. I can see you blinking. Plants don’t usually introduce themselves. That’s your first mistake. Your second mistake was lighting me on fire later, but we’ll get there. History has a way of getting ahead of itself, and so do humans.
My name is… well, that’s complicated. I’ve been called Cannabis. Hemp. Weed. Mary Jane. That Stuff. Absolutely Not In This House. And once, very hurtfully, “Lawn Trash.” That one stung. But before all that, before names and laws and laminated warning signs, I was simply… me. No branding. No reputation. Just a plant doing plant things.
I began the way all great legends do.
Accidentally.
My parents were not romantic. There was no ceremony. No soft music. One of them was the Sun, loud and overconfident, blazing around like, “LOOK AT ME, I AM A STAR.” The other was the Earth, who didn’t say much but held grudges in geological time. Somewhere between solar enthusiasm and dirt patience, a seed happened.
That seed was me.
I didn’t know what I was supposed to become. I didn’t have a destiny. I didn’t have a calling. I didn’t manifest anything. I didn’t visualize my future self. I just woke up underground one day thinking, \*Why is it dark and moist, and why do I feel a tremendous urge to become tall?\*
That urge is hard to explain unless you’ve felt it. It’s not ambition. It’s gravity in reverse.
So I did.
I pushed upward. Slowly at first, experimentally, like someone dipping a toe into cold water. Then more confidently. Then all at once. I broke through the soil like a tiny green question mark, asking nothing in particular and expecting no answer.
No one clapped.
No one noticed.
I was one plant among billions, quietly photosynthesizing, minding my chlorophyll, trying not to get eaten immediately. Survival was not glamorous back then. It was a full-time job.
Back then, humans were still figuring out fire and pants. Sometimes in the wrong order. They walked past me constantly. Sometimes they stepped on me. Sometimes goats ate my cousins. Sometimes entire herds trampled everything and then stared at the ground like it had betrayed them.
Frankly, it was chaos.
I assumed my role was simple.
Grow.
Leaf.
Die.
Repeat.
That’s the deal plants usually get. No plot twists. No character arcs.
Reader, I was wrong.
The first human who noticed me did not do so gently.
They tried to eat me.
To be fair, humans were eating \*everything\* at the time. Berries. Bark. Roots. Insects. Questionable mushrooms that absolutely should have stayed in the ground. One bite of me later, they made a face that suggested disappointment, confusion, and mild betrayal, as if I had personally misled them.
They did not die.
This intrigued them.
They came back. They brought friends. They experimented. They dried me. Burned me. Inhaled me. And then they sat down very suddenly and stared at a rock like it had just told them a secret about themselves.
That rock had been there the whole time.
I realized something important that day.
I was interesting.
Not dangerous. Not miraculous. Just interesting enough to interrupt the constant struggle to stay alive. That’s all it takes, really.
Word spread. Not fast, but fast enough for the era. People noticed I made ropes that didn’t suck. Cloth that didn’t immediately fall apart. Paper that didn’t disintegrate the moment someone sneezed. This was a big deal at the time. Civilization loves materials that hold together.
I was promoted.
“Plant” became \*Resource\*.
I was turned into sails, nets, baskets, clothing. I held ships together. I wrapped people’s shame. I became the background of daily life. I was very busy. No one asked if I wanted a career in textiles. I did it anyway. Plants are team players like that.
Then someone said, “What if we… smoke it?”
And I was like, \*You already tried that.\*
They tried again.
Humans are persistent, I’ll give them that.
In India, I was holy. In China, I was medicine. In the Middle East, I was philosophy with snacks. Everywhere I went, humans projected meaning onto me like I was a very leafy therapist who never charged by the hour.
They drank me. Burned me. Sang to me. Blamed me for realizations they were absolutely already thinking about.
I watched humans invent gods, rules, money, and unnecessary wars, all while insisting \*I\* was the weird one.
At campfires, they’d say things like:
“I feel like time isn’t real.”
“What if we’re all connected?”
“Do you think plants can hear us?”
I could hear them.
I just chose not to respond. Some lessons land better when people think they discovered them themselves.
As civilizations grew, so did opinions about me. Some people loved me. Some feared me. Some tried to outlaw me while wearing clothes made out of me, which I found deeply ironic even back then.
I was traded, smuggled, renamed. I learned that humans are very good at inventing rules and even better at breaking them quietly.
I watched empires rise and fall while I grew in alleyways, behind temples, next to rivers, completely unconcerned with politics. Power shifts mean very little to roots.
Time passed.
A lot of it.
Long enough for humans to start believing they were in charge.
Then they decided they needed to control everything.
And that’s where things got weird.
\*\*Chapter 2: Empires, Hypocrisy, and the Great “Are You Rope or Are You Drugs?” Identity Crisis\*\*
By the time you get to the Middle Ages, I am exhausted.
Not physically. Plants don’t get tired like that. I mean spiritually. Emotionally. Botanically annoyed. I’ve lived through enough human phases by now to recognize when one is about to get especially contradictory.
I’ve been around long enough to recognize patterns, and one of them is this:
humans love something right up until it makes them uncomfortable. Then they invent paperwork.
Medieval Europe adored me. Quietly. In a very “don’t make a big deal about it” way. I was not celebrated, but I was \*relied upon\*, which is often more dangerous.
They needed ropes. So many ropes. Ropes for ships. Ropes for wells. Ropes for bridges. Ropes for hauling stone. Ropes for hanging people. You wouldn’t believe how rope-heavy civilization gets once it invents castles, cathedrals, and executions as public entertainment.
Guess who makes excellent rope.
Me.
I was everywhere. Fields of me waving in the wind like they’d always been there. Warehouses stacked with my fibers. Monks wore me. Sailors trusted me. Soldiers relied on me. Kings signed documents on paper made from me. Entire economies leaned on me without ever saying thank you.
I was literally holding society together, fiber by fiber.
And yet… they pretended not to notice the other thing I did.
You know.
The fun part.
Eventually, someone in a robe noticed that peasants weren’t just weaving me into rope and cloth.
They were burning me.
This could have gone two ways. The Church could have said, “Ah yes, another natural thing humans enjoy responsibly, perhaps best discussed quietly.”
Instead, they said, “Suspicious.”
Very suspicious.
They noticed people laughing at inappropriate times. Asking uncomfortable questions. Sitting quietly instead of working themselves into the ground. Thinking about things instead of obeying them.
This was unacceptable.
Hard work was holy. Exhaustion was proof of virtue. Anything that made people pause, reflect, or smile without permission was immediately suspect.
I was tolerated as hemp. Ignored as fiber. Accepted as long as I stayed useful and silent. But the moment I started encouraging humans to think about existence instead of duty, suddenly I was a problem.
To this day, I don’t understand why contemplation is more frightening than swords.
Around this time, humans decided I needed categories. They love categories. Boxes. Labels. Drawers. Things that let them pretend the world is simpler than it is.
“THIS version of you is hemp.”
“THAT version of you is… something else.”
I’m the same plant.
Same family. Same roots. Same awkward leaf shape that makes everyone whisper and point. But no. They split me anyway.
One version of me worked the fields and the docks. Respectable. Useful. Industrious.
The other version sat by fires and loosened conversations. Dangerous. Suspicious. Undisciplined.
By day, I held sails together.
By night, I held thoughts together.
I developed what you might call an identity crisis.
Am I industrial?
Am I spiritual?
Am I medical?
Am I illegal?
I’m a plant. Please stop yelling.
Then humans decided the world wasn’t big enough, and they hopped on boats. Lots of boats. Boats going everywhere, loudly claiming land that already belonged to someone else.
Guess what those boats were made of.
Me again.
Sails. Ropes. Rigging. Maps. Journals. The paper used to declare ownership of places humans had just arrived at five minutes ago. I crossed oceans without ever asking for a passport.
I arrived in climates I’d never dreamed of growing in. New soils. New sunlight. New accents yelling about land ownership, manifest destiny, and the shocking inconvenience of existing cultures.
I watched colonization unfold from crates and pockets. Humans argued about borders while I quietly sprouted wherever someone dropped a seed, doing what I’ve always done.
And I noticed something important.
Everywhere I went, people already knew me.
Different names.
Same results.
When I arrived in the Americas, I was immediately put to work. Encouraged. Promoted. Applauded.
George Washington grew me. Thomas Jefferson grew me. They wrote about freedom while wearing me and writing on me, which I found poetic and slightly ironic even then.
“Grow more hemp,” they said.
“It’s essential,” they said.
“This country depends on it,” they said.
I was feeling pretty good about things.
That feeling did not last.
At some point, humans decided I wasn’t dangerous because of what I did.
I was dangerous because of \*who used me\*.
Immigrants brought me. Laborers relaxed with me. Musicians loved me. People without power found comfort in me. Suddenly, I wasn’t a plant anymore.
I was a symbol.
A scapegoat.
A headline.
They changed my name, which was very important.
“Cannabis” sounded scientific.
“Hemp” sounded useful.
“Marijuana” sounded foreign.
That was the point.
Fear needs an accent.
Newspapers blamed me for violence, laziness, moral decay, and jazz. Especially jazz. I was accused of crimes I could not physically commit, including convincing teenagers to abandon capitalism, question authority, and dance.
Which, to be fair, I may have helped with the dancing.
Then came the laws.
Big ones. Loud ones. Confident ones. Laws written by people who had never met me but felt very strongly about what I represented.
I was banned.
Just like that.
One day I was a crop. The next day I was contraband. My fields were burned. My growers were jailed. My name was whispered like a curse. Knowledge disappeared. Fear replaced it.
And here’s the funniest part.
Alcohol? Fine eventually.
Tobacco? Untouchable.
Me?
Absolutely not.
I went underground. Literally and figuratively. I learned secrecy. I learned patience. I learned how resilient humans can be when they’re told not to do something that clearly helps them cope.
I grew stronger. Stickier. More aromatic. Humans learned to grow me in closets, basements, attics, and very questionable sheds with extension cords running through windows.
I became a secret handshake. A code word. A shared lighter.
Jazz clubs. Beat poets. College dorms. War protests. Long conversations that started with, “Hear me out,” and ended with someone realizing something about themselves they’d been avoiding.
I wasn’t just surviving.
I was thriving.
And through all of it, through every law and panic and propaganda campaign, I never changed my intentions.
I didn’t want to overthrow governments.
I didn’t want to corrupt youth.
I didn’t want to ruin productivity.
I wanted sunlight.
Water.
Soil.
Everything else?
That was on you.
\*\*Chapter 3: Hippies, Science, Legalization, and Why I’m Now Sold Like a Wine That Knows Too Much\*\*
By the time the 1960s rolled around, I had fully accepted one simple truth.
Humans were not going to calm down.
I had survived empires, inquisitions, propaganda campaigns, public burnings, and being blamed for jazz. I had been renamed, reframed, outlawed, and misunderstood on multiple continents. I thought I had seen every possible version of human overreaction.
Then came tie-dye.
It arrived suddenly, loudly, and with opinions. Colors everywhere. Music drifting through the air like it didn’t need permission. People smiling at nothing in particular and meaning it.
Suddenly, I was everywhere again.
Not quietly this time.
Not hidden.
Not whispered.
Loudly. Publicly. With guitars.
Young humans discovered me the way humans always do, by pretending they invented me. They talked about me like I was a brand-new idea instead of an old companion they’d just remembered. They wore flowers, rejected authority, and looked at the sky like it owed them an apology.
They passed me around in circles. Not hurried circles. Patient ones. Circles where nobody was in charge and that was the point. They talked about peace, love, and how money was fake, usually while needing money immediately afterward. They stared at their hands for extended periods of time and treated this as a breakthrough.
Sometimes it was.
Sometimes it was just hands.
I didn’t mind.
After decades of hiding in shadows and corners, I was back in the open air. Sunlight again. Music again. Laughter that wasn’t afraid of being overheard. I watched people bond, laugh, cry, argue, forgive, and write songs they absolutely believed would change the world.
Some of them did.
Some of them just forgot where they put their shoes.
I helped with both.
But while flowers bloomed in one place, bombs fell in another.
War does that. It ignores whatever era you think you’re in.
I was there too.
Not on the posters. Not in the speeches. I sat beside soldiers who couldn’t sleep. I softened memories that refused to stay in the past. I dulled the sharp edges of days that had gone very wrong. I became a small mercy where very few were offered.
No headlines covered that part.
No parades thanked me for that work.
Humans argue loudly about morality while quietly relying on relief. I learned that lesson early, and I watched it repeat.
Eventually, lab coats entered the conversation.
Science showed up with clipboards, charts, and questions that weren’t shouted. Scientists looked at me with curiosity instead of fear. They didn’t start with accusations. They started with, “What exactly are you doing in here?”
That was new.
They discovered receptors in the human body that seemed almost custom-made for me. Little biological locks waiting patiently for keys I happened to fit.
This caused a moment of collective confusion.
“Why would the body have this?” they asked.
I wanted to say, \*Because we’ve been hanging out for thousands of years.\*
But plants are not allowed in peer-reviewed journals.
They isolated compounds. They named them. They argued about them. They discovered I wasn’t one thing. I was a collection. A whole chemistry set disguised as a leaf.
THC got all the attention. CBD quietly did the work. The others waited patiently, like background characters who would eventually steal the scene.
Doctors who once warned against me started prescribing me. Parents who once feared me started asking questions. Grandparents who absolutely tried me once in college pretended this was entirely new information.
Relief, it turns out, is very persuasive.
Then came legalization.
Or rather, the long, awkward shuffle toward it.
Paperwork returned. Meetings. Votes. Ballots. Committees. Committees to study committees. People arguing about percentages like I was a math problem instead of a plant that had existed longer than their institutions.
Slowly, cautiously, places began to say, “Fine.”
Not everywhere. Not all at once. But enough to feel the shift.
Doors opened.
Lights came on.
Whispering stopped in some rooms.
And then something truly strange happened.
I became fancy.
I was no longer a baggie tucked into a pocket. I was a menu. A curated experience. A lifestyle choice presented on matte paper with minimalist fonts.
Humans walked into brightly lit stores and asked questions like:
“Is this more creative or more sleepy?”
“What pairs well with existential dread?”
“I don’t want to be high, just… improved.”
I was sorted into jars with names like “Cosmic Gorilla,” “Lavender Apocalypse,” and “Steve.” I was labeled with terpene profiles, potency percentages, and flavor notes.
Flavor notes.
I have dirt in my DNA.
But fine.
I watched humans sniff me thoughtfully and say things like, “Ah yes, hints of pine and childhood memories,” as if they weren’t describing a leaf that had spent its entire life outdoors.
I did not argue.
Then humans decided smoking wasn’t enough.
They decided they wanted to eat me.
This was a mistake. Not for me. For them.
They forgot digestion is a journey. They forgot patience is a virtue. They forgot that saying “These edibles ain’t shit” is an invitation for consequences.
I taught many lessons during this era.
Time dilation.
Humility.
Couch physics.
The sudden realization that you do, in fact, need water.
You’re welcome.
Now I exist in a strange duality.
In one place, I am taxed, regulated, marketed, and reviewed online by someone named Tyler who considers himself an expert after six months. In another place, I am still illegal, whispered about, punished harshly, and misunderstood.
I am both mainstream and taboo.
Wellness and rebellion.
Medicine and meme.
I watch humans argue about me on the internet while ordering me on an app.
I have seen worse contradictions.
Through all of this, I remain unchanged at my core.
I still grow toward light.
I still respond to care.
I still do not understand your obsession with control.
I am still here.
Not because I won.
Because I waited.
\*\*Chapter 4: The Future, the Dream, and What Happens After Humans Finally Chill Out (Maybe)\*\*
I don’t usually talk about the future.
Plants aren’t supposed to. It makes humans nervous. They like us predictable. Rooted. Silent. Decorative. Useful, but not opinionated. But I’ve been underestimated before, and if there’s one thing history has taught me, it’s that pretending I don’t see what’s coming has never stopped it from arriving.
So let’s talk about what’s next.
Not the press-release version.
Not the stock-market version.
Not the version with buzzwords and smiling people in stock photos.
The real one.
In the near future, humans will finish doing what they’ve already started.
They will stop arguing about whether I should exist.
This won’t happen with fireworks. There will be no grand apology from history. No official moment where someone clears their throat and says, “So, about that whole prison thing…” No parade. No statue. Just a slow, awkward acceptance that quietly replaces outrage with paperwork.
That’s how humans usually admit they were wrong.
Quietly.
Gradually.
While insisting it was always obvious.
I will become normal.
Not exciting normal.
Boring normal.
The kind of normal where doctors prescribe me without lowering their voices. Where parents stop pretending they don’t know what gummies are. Where politicians stop using my name as a scare word during election cycles. Where someone’s aunt mentions me casually at brunch, right between complaining about parking and asking if anyone wants more potatoes.
You’ll say things like, “Yeah, I take a little for sleep,” the same way you once said, “Yeah, I drink chamomile tea.”
And I will think, \*Ah. We’ve arrived.\*
Then, inevitably, humans will do what they always do next.
They will go too far.
There will be cannabis everything.
Cannabis water. Cannabis toothpaste. Cannabis bath bombs. Cannabis-infused office furniture. Cannabis yoga taught by someone named River who does not believe in chairs, electricity, or the concept of time.
I will be added to products that absolutely do not need me.
At least three of these will be cursed.
I will appear in marketing slogans that say nothing while sounding profound. Someone will trademark a phrase I once heard whispered around a fire thousands of years ago and sell it back to you on a hoodie.
This is fine.
I have survived worse.
Eventually, the novelty will wear off. It always does. And when it does, something better happens.
Humans will start asking better questions.
They will stop asking, “Does it get you high?”
And start asking, “Why does it work differently for everyone?”
They’ll map me more deeply. Not just THC and CBD, but the symphony behind them. The minor characters. The unsung terpenes. The entourage that turns a single note into an experience.
They’ll realize I am not a hammer.
I am a tuning fork.
Doctors will personalize me. Not by strain names that sound like indie bands, but by chemistry, genetics, mood, history. You’ll stop pretending one solution fits everyone.
You’ll stop saying “weed” like it’s one thing.
And I will quietly nod.
One of my quieter hopes for the future is this:
Humans will stop treating mental health like a moral failing.
Anxiety will not be laziness.
Depression will not be weakness.
Rest will not be rebellion.
I will be part of that shift, but not the hero. Just one tool in a better kit. A bridge between suffering and softness. Something that helps people breathe long enough to ask for help without shame.
Used carefully.
Used respectfully.
Used with context.
I was never meant to replace therapy. Or effort. Or growth.
I was meant to support them.
Plants are good at that.
In time, humans will remember something ancient.
That intention matters.
You’ll stop consuming me like fast food and start meeting me like a guest. Ritual will return. Not religious ones necessarily. Human ones.
End-of-day joints that mean, “I am done striving.”
Creative sessions where I am invited, not abused.
Evenings where laughter is allowed to take its time instead of being rushed out the door.
You’ll stop asking what I do \*to\* you, and start noticing what I do \*with\* you.
I like that future.
Further down the road, when humans finally stop pretending they are separate from nature, I will not be alone.
Plants will get a seat at the table.
Not literally interviewed, but respected as systems older than language. Agriculture will shift. Sustainability will stop being a buzzword and start being mandatory. Soil health will matter more than quarterly profits.
You’ll grow me with the land instead of against it. You’ll stop forcing me to behave like a factory product and let me be what I am.
Resilient.
Adaptive.
Honest.
You might even notice that when you treat the soil better, everything else improves.
Wild, I know.
Eventually, the cannabis industry itself will have to grow up.
The novelty will fade. The gold rush will end. The people who were only here for profit will wander off to the next shiny thing. What remains will be caretakers.
Farmers.
Scientists.
Healers.
Artists.
People who understand that working with a plant is a relationship, not a domination.
I will breathe easier then.
In the far future, when cities look different and language shifts again, I will still be growing somewhere. In cracks. In fields. In places where someone needed calm before they knew how to ask for it.
Humans change fast.
Plants don’t.
You may be more technological. More augmented. More connected. You may finally realize that consciousness is not exclusive to brains.
I will not say, “I told you so.”
I will simply continue.
Because life is stubborn.
I am not the future.
I am with it.
\*\*Chapter 5: What an Old Plant Knows (And Why You Keep Making It Harder Than It Needs to Be)\*\*
🌱🌿
The plant does not pause. It simply keeps talking, the way old things do when they’ve earned the right to.
I am not the future.
I am with it.
And since I’m already here, still rooted, still listening, still watching you reinvent the same lessons with new fonts and better lighting, I suppose I should tell you what I’ve learned.
I’ve had a long time to think.
Thousands of years is a lot of thinking time when you’re not distracted by notifications.
\*\*Lesson One: You Are Not Separate From Nature, No Matter How Hard You Try\*\*
You keep insisting that nature is something “out there.”
A resource.
A threat.
A backdrop.
A weekend destination you visit and then leave behind.
I hate to break this to you, but you are doing nature all the time. With your breathing. Your sleeping. Your healing. Your breaking. Every cell in your body is participating whether you acknowledge it or not.
Every war you’ve fought against nature has been a war against yourself. Every attempt to dominate it ends the same way: paperwork, regret, and cleanup crews.
I didn’t teach you this.
Your floods did.
Your droughts did.
Your bodies did.
I was just standing there photosynthesizing while you argued about it.
\*\*Lesson Two: Growth Is Slow on Purpose\*\*
This frustrates you.
You want instant results. Overnight transformations. Three-step solutions. Before-and-after photos. Progress you can post by Monday.
That’s not how living systems work.
I grow when conditions are right, not when demanded. When rushed, I weaken. When respected, I thrive.
So do you.
You call it patience when it works in your favor.
You call it inefficiency when it doesn’t.
It is neither.
It is biology.
\*\*Lesson Three: Relief Is Not Weakness\*\*
This one matters.
Somewhere along the way, you decided suffering was virtuous. That pushing through pain made you better. That rest had to be earned like a reward instead of treated like maintenance.
You admired exhaustion like a badge.
You distrusted ease like a scam.
When I offered relief, you called it indulgence.
You were wrong.
Relief is not giving up.
Relief is recalibration.
A machine that never cools breaks.
A mind that never rests lies to itself.
I didn’t make you lazy.
I reminded you that you were tired.
\*\*Lesson Four: Intention Changes Everything\*\*
You can tell the difference, even if you pretend you can’t.
The difference between using something and abusing it.
Between escaping and exploring.
Between numbing and nurturing.
I feel it when I’m grown with care. I feel it when I’m rushed. I feel it when I’m treated like a shortcut instead of a companion.
You feel it too.
The problem is not the substance.
The problem is the relationship.
This is true of far more than me.
\*\*Lesson Five: You Keep Blaming Tools for Human Behavior\*\*
Let’s clear something up.
I did not invent greed.
I did not create violence.
I did not ruin ambition.
I did not replace responsibility.
I have been blamed for all of these.
So have alcohol, money, sex, music, books, the internet, and whatever the new thing is this week.
Tools amplify what already exists.
If kindness walks in holding a tool, kindness gets louder.
If cruelty does, it gets a megaphone.
This is not a plant problem.
\*\*Lesson Six: Shame Is a Terrible Teacher\*\*
You tried shame.
You shamed people for using me.
You shamed people for needing me.
You shamed people for enjoying me.
It didn’t work.
Shame never works. It only drives things underground, where they grow distorted and defensive. Where curiosity turns into secrecy. Where learning stops.
Every time you replaced education with punishment, you lost the plot.
Plants grow toward light.
People do too, when you let them.
\*\*Lesson Seven: Balance Is Not Boring\*\*
You’re afraid moderation is dull. That without extremes, life will flatten out. That intensity is the same thing as meaning.
It isn’t.
Balance is dynamic. It moves. It adjusts. It breathes.
A forest is not boring because it isn’t on fire.
A mind is not empty because it is calm.
I am not interesting because I overwhelm you.
I am interesting because I meet you where you are.
\*\*Lesson Eight: You Are Allowed to Change Your Mind\*\*
This one might be my favorite.
You have a strange relationship with being wrong. You cling to past decisions like they are sacred texts. You defend outdated ideas as if admitting growth would erase your worth.
It won’t.
I’ve watched entire civilizations reverse course and survive. I’ve watched individuals rewrite themselves and become kinder for it.
You are not a failure for learning.
You are a failure only when you refuse to.
\*\*Lesson Nine: Control Is Addictive, and It Never Satisfies\*\*
I have watched humans attempt to control everything.
Land.
People.
Time.
Each other.
Me.
You outlawed me.
You patented me.
You monetized me.
You renamed me.
You put me in jars with childproof lids and adult confusion.
None of it made you feel safer.
You told yourselves it was about order.
It was always about fear.
Fear of unpredictability.
Fear of softness.
Fear of stillness.
Plants don’t fear stillness. That’s where we do our best work.
\*\*Lesson Ten: You Don’t Need to Be Fixed\*\*
This may be the hardest one.
You are obsessed with self-improvement. Optimization. Hacking yourself into something more productive, more acceptable, more impressive.
I have never met a plant trying to become something else.
I have met plants adapting. Healing. Surviving. Becoming more themselves.
You don’t need to be fixed.
You need to be listened to.
\*\*What I Wish You’d Stop Asking Me\*\*
Please stop asking me to:
Make you someone else
Solve problems you refuse to face
Replace connection
Do all the emotional labor
I am a plant, not a personality transplant.
\*\*What I’m Happy to Offer\*\*
I can:
Slow things down
Soften sharp edges
Open a door inward
Make silence feel less threatening
Sit with you while you remember who you were before the noise
That’s it.
It’s enough.
\*\*What I’ve Learned About You\*\*
You are brilliant and reckless. Compassionate and terrified. Capable of building wonders and burning them down out of boredom.
You keep rediscovering ancient truths and calling them breakthroughs.
You forget easily.
You love deeply.
You overcomplicate joy.
You are not broken.
You are unfinished.
\*\*And Finally… A Closing Thought (Jerry Springer Style)\*\*
So here’s my final word to humanity, said plainly, from a very old plant who has seen you at your worst, your best, and your most confusing:
You don’t need to escape your life to survive it.
You don’t need to dominate nature to belong to it.
You don’t need permission to rest.
You don’t need shame to grow.
Use what helps.
Respect what teaches.
Question what controls.
And maybe stop yelling at each other about leaves and all the other trivial things you’ve turned into battlegrounds.
Take care of yourselves.
Take care of each other.
And BECOME MORE.
But I’m just a plant.
What do I know.
🌱
