I (17M) am posting here because I honestly don’t know anymore if I’m being manipulated into believing I deserved how I've been treated. Lately, things have been financially devastating for us, and we only managed to pay our rent thanks to my grandparents. Because of this, I feel incredibly small and guilty around them. Whenever I am at their house, I am constantly subjected to their snide remarks and passive-aggressive comments. They pick on me at every single opportunity because I am quiet and underweight. Recently, they even kicked me out of their house. I am crushed by the humiliation of being a financial burden, while simultaneously being broken by their constant backbiting and mockery.
The incident happened at my grandmother’s house. I didn’t go there by choice; my mother made me go. After everything happened, she was also the first one to blame me.
The argument with my father started verbally. He was screaming at me. Out of sheer panic and having a complete breakdown from the non-stop stress, I lost control, walked toward him, and emotionally locked up. In the heat of the moment, I just yelled back and told him to say whatever he wanted to say since he clearly hated me. I was panicking and dissociating.
His response was to get completely aggressive, physically overpowering me and crossing a massive boundary by restraining me in a dangerous and terrifying way. My grandmother, grandfather, and aunt were all there in the room. No one protected me or stood up for me. Instead, my grandmother just pulled me away, and the entire situation immediately turned into defending my father's extreme reaction.
My aunt said something I’ll never forget to my father: “Stop, if something happens to the kid, you’ll go to prison and your life will be ruined.” Notice how the concern wasn’t my safety or well-being; it was his legal consequences.
Afterwards, they kicked me out. Everyone started using the same justifications to pressure me: “He’s your father.” “You provoked him.” “In our generation, talking back was a crime.” “You yelled first.” “You disrespected him.” So a grown man’s extreme physical escalation became acceptable, and my emotional breakdown became the real crime. Afterwards, my mother blamed me too and told me not to involve her anymore.
I’m currently staying with my mother, but I know I’ll likely be forced to interact with my father again in the future. I don’t feel safe or validated. I keep being pushed into believing this was my fault. I know I lost my temper in the heat of the moment. But I don’t believe anything justifies how they ganged up on me, physically escalated it, and abandoned me.