I asked Google if it was strange to think about lighting a candle for your own dinner alone, and it brought up something about autoromantic behavior. Wow! I guess that is actually what I was asking and didn't even know it.

I've been single and completely passive about relationships for something like thirty years, part of which was trying to figure out what was going on in my mind with the gender fluidity and to not destroy another relationship. I'm open to one, but only with the one in seven-billion person who I would be right for and first has interest in and asks me.

I think of the little gifts and thoughtful things I do for my other genders... Then the current beauty regiment I am taking up now that I have shifted. It's kind of just for myself to feel pritty for myself... Is this what I have become, an Autoromantic?

I had to know, do the experts consider this unhealthy? Apparently not, if there is no feelings of shame or dysphoria over it. The same for the logical extension of self-love and so on. I still feel compassion and empathy and love for others, so it's not narcissistic.

I had to ask myself the next question. Have I ever imagined or fantasized being the female partner of my male self or the other way around? Yes... I have. This might have become my thing, at least in my female gender. And why not? I'm aromantic in my agender faze, which is part of the relationship destroyer. I would leave it behind if a partner who really, really fit found me, but I'm kind of stable with this as it is. Certainly not hurting anyone, and I seem to be willing to put up with myself. 🤷‍♀️ So add it to the list, at least for my female gender, she is Autoromantic etc.

Yet another strange aspect of my gender fluid life.

I'm looking for a bit of support from some similar-minded people here I suppose.

For context, I was born female and transitioned to male at about 15 years old, which felt absolutely right at the time. I knew being female felt wrong and male seemed like the only other obvious option, so I transitioned, got top surgery, took testosterone for a bit, etc.

Over time I started to notice a few thoughts here and there of almost regretting my transition. As I went through life a bit more and matured (I'm 29 now), I realized I had been pushing down my femininity quite a bit, and once I was able to explore it a bit more, settled on the fact that I'm actually genderfluid.

I still present as male most of the time, use he/they pronouns, although I come across somewhat androgynous to some people, and still get "misgendered" as a woman in day to day life occasionally.

Over time it's gone from feeling like a man most of the time and feeling like a woman for like, 1 day every few months... to now I switch back and forth a lot more often. Probably because I'm more comfortable with that feminine side of myself now.

But I still hate the physical aspect of this everchanging identity.

I don't make lots of changes to my appearance because I know that if I do, I'll regret it a day later. For example, I usually have a beard and long hair. I don't cut either very often because if I shave my beard, I know that I'll be read as female more often than I'd be comfortable with (my face shape is pretty feminine). And if I cut my hair too short, it'll be a while before I'm read as female again. Since both take a while to grow back, so it's difficult to make a long-term physical decision for a mindset that will change again in a day or even an hour or two.

The result is I'm just never happy with how I look. If I choose one gender fully, I'll be miserable half the time. But how I am now, I'm never fully satisfied with my appearance no matter what gender I feel at the time.

Do other genderfluid people feel this way? Do you guys have any tips? How do you not hate yourself and your physical appearance, even when your identity is constantly shifting? Any clothing or hair or other physical tips would be appreciated as well :)

Hi everyone, I think I've finally landed on genderfluid as my identity, at least for the time being.

For context, 21 AMAB. Has been questioning gender since middle school, and never have been able to fully accept or understand myself because of my transmed-vibes surroundings. I never understood why I felt like a gay boy and a trans girl but also wanted to be jacked and chestless but also some days I want boobs and srs and— you get the point. I'm pretty clearly genderfluid.

I wanted to ask, now that I am out, I don't know really how genderfluid people move in the world. How does your life interact with your gender? I know zero irl genderfluid people, even amongst my very trans and enby friend circle.

im not a lesbian im not a girl 🫩🫩

Sooo I'm 19 soon to be 20 and I've noticed I'm changing in what way well let me tell you so for the longest time of my life I always looked like a girl because I am a girl I look like my mother but now I'm starting to look more and more like my dad and I feel less beautiful and I hate it but at the same time I love it because I'm genderfluid and sometimes I love looking exactly like a guy and here's the problem I also want to look more feminine then masculine I want to look pretty and cute not more manly than my damn brother's not gonna lie they are a bit jealous that I look more like a man then they did at my age lol but still I want to look more feminine and another thing that doesn't help is that I look like I'm going to kick someone ass for looking at me but I PROMISE you I'm very nice and another thing every time I wear makeup it doesn't help I still look like a guy I just wanna look cute pretty and girly ughhhh! I need help I don't know what I'm going through anymore

My partner is not straight and I'm not even the only transmasc person he is currently dating, but he's generally much more attracted to feminine people. I do have strong femininity, but my masc side has been extremely powerful lately, and I decided it's time to look into medical transition seriously. My partner has been so accepting of everything I've told him thus far, but i was still nervous about bringing up this topic.

I wanted him in on my thought process before I make my final decision, because I didn't want it to seem like it came out of the blue when I start talking about going to appointments, etc. The floor is open for an ongoing dialog, we both understand we're committed to one another no matter what, and it seems like we're in a great place together. I made it clear that he can approach me with any topics he needs to talk about, even negative feelings. We have plans to start talking through what I hope does happen and what I'm nervous about and how we will manage attraction as I become more masculine. My goal is androgyny rather than masculinity, which is not outside of his attraction range, which helps, but you don't get to pick and choose how testosterone treats you.

I feel like I've got someone very important in my corner now. I've been wanting to move forward and start pursuing appointments, but I've been so nervous to start talking about it outside of anonymous online spaces. This weekend ripped the bandaid off. It's a 7 year old relationship, so it wasn't something I took lightly. I'm also coming out later in life, which is complicated.

For context I’m 19 afab, I’ve questioned my gender a handful of times since middle school. This is my third time really questioning things. I’ve never really felt the “switch” of genders or dysphoria but I’ve 100% had gender envy that’s taken a toll on me, and disappointed that I never looked male enough when I tried to. I’ve daydreamed about waking up as a man for a week and just “testing it out.” But this feeling has always faded after a while so I think I might be genderfluid/nonbinary, or just cis and overthinking things.

I’ve opened up to a couple of my friends, whom which are lgbtq/trans themselves, and they’ve told me my thought process is definitely not cis, but I’m still having some self doubt. I don’t want to end up larping as something I’m not actually and potentially bringing further stigma.

I’m also usually feminine, I even enjoy being a girl even when I’m experiencing a particular amount of gender envy, which makes me doubt myself more (I also don’t want to let go of my long hair lmao)

Anyone who is genderfluid/non binary/trans would you have any insight for me? Were you ever in my shoes before?

Oi, pessoal do Reddit!

Meu nome é Samira Manuela, tenho 13 anos e estou fazendo este post porque queria conversar sobre algumas coisas que venho descobrindo sobre mim mesma. Talvez o texto fique um pouco grande, mas quero explicar minha experiência com calma, porque ainda tenho muitas dúvidas e gostaria de encontrar pessoas que talvez se identifiquem com algumas coisas que sinto.

Antes de tudo, quero deixar claro que não estou esperando que ninguém decida minha identidade por mim. Só quero compartilhar o que acontece comigo, conhecer outras experiências e tentar entender melhor quem sou.

Sobre minha identidade de gênero

Uma das coisas que venho percebendo é que não me identifico simplesmente como uma garota o tempo todo. Existem momentos em que me considero um garoto, e essa sensação é sincera para mim. Não é necessariamente que eu queira me tornar um garoto no futuro. É mais como se, em determinados momentos, eu me reconhecesse como um.

Ao mesmo tempo, existem momentos em que meu lado feminino fica muito mais presente. Nessas horas, me sinto uma pessoa muito fofinha, delicada, meiga e feminina. Gosto dessa sensação e de poder expressar esse lado de mim.

É como se minha maneira de me perceber variasse. Às vezes, me sinto mais conectado com o masculino; em outras, meu lado feminino aparece com muito mais intensidade.

Por isso, comecei a pesquisar sobre gênero-fluido e senti que esse termo poderia combinar comigo. Pelo que entendi, ele descreve pessoas cuja identidade de gênero pode mudar ao longo do tempo, e essa explicação parece se aproximar do que sinto.

Ainda estou aprendendo sobre isso, então não vou fingir que tenho todas as respostas. Só sei que, até agora, gênero-fluido é um termo com o qual me identifico bastante.

🌸 Sobre ser femboy

Outra coisa que descobri é o termo femboy.

Pelo que entendo, ele costuma ser usado para garotos que gostam de expressar sua feminilidade por meio da aparência, das roupas, dos acessórios ou de uma estética mais delicada e fofinha.

Eu gosto desse conceito porque consigo me reconhecer como um garoto e, ao mesmo tempo, gostar muito do meu lado feminino.

Não acho que gostar de coisas fofas, delicadas ou femininas precise apagar meu lado masculino. Também não sinto que preciso abandonar minha feminilidade para me reconhecer como garoto.

É justamente essa combinação que me faz pensar que o termo femboy pode fazer sentido para mim, mesmo que minha identidade de gênero seja fluida.

Só que ainda tenho dúvidas sobre como esses termos se relacionam e sobre como outras pessoas vivem experiências parecidas.

Sobre meu corpo e o termo trans boy

Uma coisa importante sobre mim é que não sinto desconforto com meu corpo. Não tenho vontade de mudar meu corpo para conseguir me reconhecer como sou.

Já pensei no termo trans boy, mas, sinceramente, não sinto que ele combine comigo neste momento.

Isso não significa que eu tenha algo contra garotos trans ou que ache que todas as pessoas trans precisam sentir disforia ou querer fazer mudanças físicas. Sei que cada pessoa vive sua identidade de uma maneira diferente.

Simplesmente sinto que gênero-fluido descreve melhor minha experiência atual.

Às vezes, fico confuso porque penso que, se me reconheço como garoto em determinados momentos, talvez devesse usar outro termo. Mas não quero escolher uma identidade apenas porque acho que deveria fazer isso.

Quero entender o que sinto sem me pressionar a chegar a uma conclusão imediatamente.

Sobre minha sexualidade

Essa também é uma parte que ainda não consegui entender completamente.

Não sei exatamente qual é minha orientação sexual e não quero escolher um rótulo sem ter certeza de que ele faz sentido para mim.

Sei que identidade de gênero e orientação sexual são coisas diferentes, mas ainda estou descobrindo como me sinto em relação a tudo isso.

Não quero inventar uma resposta só porque parece que todo mundo precisa saber exatamente quem é desde cedo.

Tenho 13 anos e ainda estou me conhecendo. Acho que posso ter dúvidas, aprender coisas novas e descobrir mais sobre mim com o tempo.

Não preciso ter todas as respostas agora, certo?

Por que estou fazendo este post?

O principal motivo é que gostaria de encontrar pessoas que tenham experiências parecidas com a minha.

Já tentei pesquisar no TikTok termos como genderfluid femboy, AFAB genderfluid femboy e outras combinações, mas não consegui encontrar muitas pessoas que parecessem viver algo semelhante.

Por isso, queria perguntar se existem pessoas que foram designadas do sexo feminino ao nascer, que se identificam como gênero-fluido, que em alguns momentos se reconhecem como garotos, gostam de uma expressão femboy e não sentem necessidade de mudar o próprio corpo.

Não espero encontrar alguém exatamente igual a mim. Cada pessoa tem sua própria experiência, e sei que ninguém precisa viver tudo da mesma maneira.

Só acho que seria muito legal encontrar pessoas com quem pudesse conversar sobre isso, ler relatos e perceber que existem outras maneiras de viver e compreender a própria identidade.

Também gostaria de conhecer outros termos, caso existam palavras que descrevam experiências semelhantes. Não quero acumular rótulos sem necessidade, mas quero aprender e descobrir o que realmente combina comigo.

Para terminar...

Acho que o que mais quero é poder me conhecer sem sentir que preciso me encaixar perfeitamente em uma categoria.

Quero poder reconhecer meu lado masculino quando ele aparece, expressar meu lado feminino quando me sinto assim, gostar de uma estética femboy e continuar confortável com meu corpo.

Quero descobrir minha sexualidade no meu próprio tempo, sem precisar ter uma resposta pronta para tudo.

Talvez, no futuro, eu encontre outras palavras para descrever minha experiência. Talvez continue me identificando como gênero-fluido e femboy. Ainda não sei, e tudo bem.

Se alguém tiver experiências parecidas, gostaria muito de conhecer seus relatos. Não precisa ser exatamente igual ao meu caso. Só queria encontrar pessoas que compreendam essas dúvidas e que possam conversar sobre elas com respeito.

Obrigada a quem leu até aqui. Escrevi este post com sinceridade porque gostaria de aprender, conhecer outras perspectivas e entender melhor quem sou.

Ainda estou me descobrindo, e quero me permitir fazer isso com calma.

There's just too many gender terms to memorize them all. I keep having to look up what this or that person is talking about and find twenty more. I love the variety, but I need a general identity to say when I talk about it. Plus, I realized I've been writing "Imposter's Syndrome," instead of "Imposter Syndrome," duh, sorry, embarrassed now.

I'm just going to say Fluid Transgender or Transfluid, maybe Gender Fluid. I don't know who decides these terms are official, but I can only hope those convey something about what I am to someone who is on the outside of the community, or at least inspire them to ask.

Hope you find your best identity label. 💋 Love you all so much.

Does anyone else get this? This happens to me in trans and gender non conforming subreddits that explicitly includes 'any gender identity except cis', if I say I'm non-binary or genderfluid, I get downvoted. Almost the only time I get treated normally or well is if I say I'm trans (which I am). It's really annoying and disheartening.

Unclockable.com I think is the website, I keep seeing the ads on Reddit but their stuff is pretty expensive. Can anyone verify if it’s worth the price and what products are good?

I thought I'd ask r/genderfluid for people who will probably understand.

I was AFAB, and identified as cis-female for a while. I then felt like I was somewhere between non-binary and female but still closer to feeling like a girl. I eventually discovered the term "paragirl" (yes, a paragirl and demigirl are different things!) and I came out to my close friends as a paragirl in April. It's been six months, and recently I've been feeling like maybe I'm not a paragirl. It feels like it depends more on the day. Those sixth months, I haven't changed on the outside, but my mental health has gotten better and I recently told my mom I was a lesbian. Now that I've gotten that and my well-being sorted out (well... it's at least better) I feel like maybe I'm genderfluid but don't really know. I took note of how I felt for about a week and it changed a lot, and carried no pattern. I searched up what genderflux is, too but that doesn't feel accurate. I don't really know what to do.

She/they still feel like the correct pronouns, but "paragirl" doesn't really feel right anymore.

Show me a picture of loafers. If I think "Old man shoes", I'm masculine. If I think "Cute! I want a pair", I'm feminine and if I think "I need shoes with arch support", then I'm non-binary.

3 years ago i came out as trans to them, it felt right at the time, and they accepted me and treated me with kindness and respect, and i really liked it, but after a while the feeling of needing to be seen/treated in a different way and even how i felt about my body as a whole mellowed out and basically vanished, and i asked them to go back to the previous treatment, i was going through a lot of stuff at the time so i thought that it was a phase or something like that.

after going to therapy and achieving a more stable life i allowed myself to understand those feelings better since they hadn´t quite vanished yet and i realised that i was just genderfluid, i wasn´t really planning on telling them about this but a month ago i hang out with a couple of friends and i got a bit drunk, and it was a day where i was feeling super feminine and texted a friend of mine while using female pronouns and grammar differentiation (in my language depending on the gender some words change the writing), on the next day he said that he had noticed it, he didn´t question it or anything but he noticed it, and from time to time they do question what happened 3 years ago, so i decided to just spill the beans and tell them about it and what i was feeling.

Once again they treated me with kindness and respect, i´m really lucky to have them in my life, but i´m not sure if they quite get it (i am not sure if i fully get it myself neither tbf), they think that i´m indecisive/ in denial or that it´s something to do with my sexuality (i´m gay, maybe demisexual), and idk man i didn´t really want to come out once again and to be seen as the "odd one out", i pressured myself into doing it, i´m already the only queer and neurodivergent of the group (ASD/ADHD), didn´t want another label, i´m feeling a little bit of shame for myself ngl, i wanted to be more of an average joe, but what´s done it´s done and in a way i feel like i needed to get it out of my chest to fully understand myself.

How did you know or come to realize that it was more than just dressing, I'm a bit unsure of the whole identity now as I'm very comfortably male 90% of the time. But the idea of spending time as a woman is kind of thrilling. However i don't really have much interest in day to day feminine life and I'm drawn more to the more showy aspects of femininity.

apologies if this question is stupid or offensive to anyone in this community.

Hi all. I've been experimenting with different gender expressions for around six months now. "Genderfluid" is the first actual label I used that felt relative to my experience. However, not long after, I started using Nonbinary instead.

Then, after that, I basically realized that I'm Transgender. Obviously, on a gender experience as a whole, technically, any identity outside of what one was assigned at birth is considered Trans, and it is a huge umbrella, which also encompasses both Nonbinary and Genderfluid. Not everybody has to use this label obviously. Some don't. I feel connected the most to 3 different but relative labels, Transgender, Transfeminine and Genderfluid.

I realized that my experience, however, despite feeling that my identity is different, has been quite fluid. Labels can overlap. I think I have pretty commonly seen people who identify as genderfluid, and are drawn to femininity and consider themselves "transfem." I opted to basically recently stop using the nonbinary label, as I feel it really doesn't convey anything about what I actually feel or experience. Although, I do plan on transitioning in a feminine direction eventually, I don't really know what I want people to call me at this point in time.

I'm okay if people call me they/them and she/her, and sometimes even he/him, but I don't really care for when people call me "SIR!" or boldly claim "thank you sir." "BRO." "DUDE." Like, enough with that.

How do you feel about being genderfluid? Also, I happy Genderfluid visibility week! I think the last day is tomorrow if I'm correct?

Hey, so I’m writing this post mostly as a way to help me talk through some feelings I’ve been having around my gender identity. But I’m also open to advice or just general comments or anything which is why it’s going up here and not in a journal.

So, I’m 29-year-old and AMAB. When I was younger I only really thought of myself as straight and cis. As I got older and into my 20s I discovered that I was attracted to all sorts of people and started identifying as pansexual which is still how I identify now. Then around my mid-20s I started thinking about my gender a lot. I felt like I was never especially attached to masculinity, but I wasn’t not-masculine if that makes sense. I read about demi genders and talked with a nonbinary friend and they helped me sort out some of my feelings and I started identifying as genderfluid and using he/they pronouns.

Years passed and now I’m married to a cis woman, but since being in this relationship I’ve been feeling like I’ve been operating in a very masculine energy. Part of me is worrying that maybe I’m just cis, but I also don’t feel like that’s the case because why would I be worried about being cis if I was cis, wouldn’t I just be ok with that? For context my wife is amazing and I love her so much. She knows I’m genderfluid and has always been supportive. She frequently tells me that I don’t need to be always masc around her, but I also know she’s lived a life where she’s felt like she’s had to operate in a masculine energy and she’s been able to fee very feminine in our relationship in a way that is really fulfilling for her.

Part of me has felt like maybe I’m being so masculine because I want her to continue to feel feminine, but I’m also just feeling strange because I discovered my gender identity later in life when for many others they discovered it when they were younger. I feel like I’m doing a bad job of explaining this. Maybe it’s just that I’m worried that I’m somehow not as valid of a genderfluid person because I’m so masculine. I’m a big guy with a beard and short hair and no makeup and wear clothes from the men’s section. When people look at me they see a man. When I tell people that I use he/they pronouns they only use he/him around me. Sometimes I worry that people don’t believe me when I tell them I’m genderfluid and they only use he/him because of it. I kind of want to ask people to mix things up and use some they/them but I feel like that would make them feel like I’m accusing them of not believing I’m fluid or that I’d be causing some friction where it isn’t necessary.

I’m kind of getting emotional writing this out and it’s turning into a ramble so maybe I should just end the post here. But I guess basically, do other people have these thoughts or struggles? Am I thinking about it too much? How do I know if I’m actually genderfluid and not just someone “stealing valor”? I don’t know. Any advice or help would be appreciated. Thanks.

so i recently found out that im genderfluid and i want to figure out how to subtly dress more feminine. i already have some outfits that are slightly feminine but i want to figure out how to express my more womanly side on my fem days. i want like a muted style that i can play off as masc. i was thinking like a gray sweater and black jeans but i feel a white t shirt with a red flannel and black cargo pants but that also may be too masc. idk any help is much appreciated

Clothing and makeup are fundamental forms of self-expression, identity, and personal freedom. When a boy or man chooses to wear clothing or makeup traditionally categorized as "feminine," it matters deeply to them for several distinct personal, psychological, and social reasons:

1. Authentic Self-Expression & Autonomy

Every individual has a unique sense of style, aesthetic taste, and personality.

* Personal Style Beyond Labels: Fabric, colors, patterns, and cosmetics are inherently neutral; culture assigns them gender labels. Choosing to wear what feels right allows a person to express their creativity and aesthetic preferences without being constrained by societal norms.

* Autonomy over One's Body: Having control over how one presents oneself to the world is a basic aspect of personal liberty and individual agency.

1. Mental Health & Well-Being

Living authentically has a direct impact on emotional and psychological health:

* Reducing Internal Conflict: Hiding one’s true preferences to conform to outside expectations can cause anxiety, stress, or a sense of living a double life. Embracing personal choices fosters inner peace.

* Boosting Confidence and Self-Esteem: Wearing clothes that make someone feel comfortable, attractive, or confident positively influences how they navigate their daily life and interactions.

1. Comfort and Functionality

Attire choices often come down to physical comfort and practicality:

* Comfort & Fit: Different clothing items offer different levels of physical comfort, cuts, and material feels.

* Cosmetics & Skincare: Makeup can be used for artistic expression, hiding blemishes, enhancing natural features, or simply enjoying the routine of grooming—benefits that apply regardless of gender.

1. Breaking Rigid Expectations

Throughout history and across different cultures, fashion rules for men and women have shifted dramatically (for example, high heels and makeup were historically worn by European male nobility).

* Choosing to ignore rigid gender expectations encourages broader acceptance of individuality.

* It sends a message that a person's worth, character, and identity are not defined by rigid adherence to traditional dress codes.

Summary

Ultimately, whether someone wears makeup, skirts, suits, or casual wear, it matters because personal identity and comfort belong to the individual. Being able to present oneself authentically without fear of judgment allows people to live happier, more fulfilled lives.

Just bought my first truly masc shirt as I start collecting some clothes that help reflect my fluidity! It's a long sleeved collared shirt with a fun pattern I like a lot, and it was used and very affordable. I'm going to keep an eye out for free options at local nonprofits as well, so I don't have to spend a lot of money I don't have for clothes. But this one was a good choice that I can already tell will be giving me gender euphoria!

Bad news is i tried a wig and i do not look good in long hair
good news is i found a bow headband and i really like wearing it

Hi I’m Fello and I just need some guidance.
I genuinely don’t know what I’m feeling and would like other genderfluid’s opinion!
I Want To Be A Boy.
I don’t feel like one.
I do not know if this is genderfluid (I identify as genderfluid and have for the past year) autism (I have been diagnosed) or dysphoria.
On every social media platform my name has been Fello, or dude or something else leaning towards male, since as long as I can remember. I have memories wanting to be perceived as “male” kinda. Such as: wanting to be a king never a queen(afab). and barely any memories wanting to be perceived as “female”. When I was younger I just identified as me. I was (name). And that was it. I never felt uncomfortable being she/her, and never wanted to change. I was just a girl. A girl who preferred being a king. Now though. I still feel a girl half the time and a boy half the time. I get euphoric when I feel “female” because my body already is. And I feel dysphoric when feeling “male” because my body ain’t. But here’s my question. All of what I’ve just said is genderfluid. Except… I never want to be female. I dread feeling like one. I’d happily become a boy. I’d flick that lever any day. Do I still feel female though… yes. And that’s my issue is this dysphoria, autism(not understanding feelings properly Wich I do struggle with) or genderfluid/something else I havnt heard of. Also I do not feel nonbinary.
Everyone always ses your born with gender. You don’t get to choose. But I’d choose to feel fully male any day even though I sometimes do truly feel female and was afab.
I’m going through a rough time mentally and just want to get my gender straight.

Yes I will reply to comments and answer questions!

As the title says, im worried. I have a girl voice I’ve been training for a little over a month with a vocal coach and at first I thought it was good but then I heard it back once and I think it sounds so icky and I just couldn’t even. I want to start introducing myself in my girl voice to people, but I’m worried I’ll sound stupid.

For reference, to get my voice to a ‘girl voice’, I:

Raise my larynx, pitch up my voice, and talk with a slight smile to make the vowels lightened.

Any tips?

Thanks!

Eden