I see a lot of posts here from people feeling alienated, burnt out, or wanting to pack up and leave. I get it. I’ve been living in Germany for almost six years now, and I won’t sugarcoat reality: yes, racism exists here, and yes, I’ve had my share of absolute garbage experiences that made my blood boil.
Leaving, however, is not the answer.
Despite the rough edges, I love this country, and I love the people here, Germans very much included. Online, Germans get painted as cold, rigid, and unwelcoming. In reality, some of the absolute best human beings I have ever met in my life took me in when I had nothing. My old flatmates, my university professors, and my 80-year-old swim coach a man who I’m pretty sure has never set foot outside of Bavaria in his entire life looked past my background, welcomed me with genuine warmth, and helped me build the life I have today.
Today, I’m an African migrant earning a six-figure salary in tech. My wife is a doctor who wears a hijab, and our daughter was born in Bavaria and will soon have German citizenship. To the small minority of bitter racists out there: we are here, we are thriving, and there is nothing you can do about it.
I also think we need to be radically honest about the other side of the coin. A lot of expats and newcomers never attempt to integrate, refuse to respect the law, act entitled, and then blame every single negative interaction on racism. Respect is a two-way street. If you treat people with basic decency and follow the rules, the overwhelming majority of Germans will meet you halfway. And most importantly: learn the damn language. It completely changes your reality here.
Germany is not a paradise, but it is my home now. If you let the small percentage of loud losers dictate how you see an entire nation of good people, you rob yourself of a future. Treat people with respect, hold your ground against the nonsense, and focus on the bigger picture.
Edit 1:
I didn’t expect this post to blow up the way it did. I wrote it out of pure exhaustion with the endless doomposting, the victim mentality, and the constant painting of every single German with the same brush.
First, thank you to everyone who sent kind, supportive comments and DMs it means more than you know. And a huge thank you to the mods, who have been working overtime clearing out the vile, hateful trash targeted at my family and me. I honestly considered deleting the entire post after seeing what landed in my inbox.
Someone pointed out this line: “We are here, we are thriving, and there is nothing you can do about it.”
Sitting with it now, I have mixed feelings. Part of me realizes it came off as arrogant, posturing, and unnecessarily poking a hornet's nest. But more than that, if I’m being radically honest: it wasn’t entirely true.
It was bravado talking. The reality is, every single day my wife leaves the house in her hijab, my stomach knots up, hoping she comes home safe. The reality is, I dread what my daughter will face growing up. Strangers have already thrown the slur “kleine Äffin” at a baby who hasn't even learned to speak yet. There is something racists can do: they can hurt the people I love most.
I’m caught between wanting to de-escalate so I don't put a target on anyone’s back, and refusing to shrink myself or live in fear. I still believe living on your knees is no way to survive, but real courage isn’t pretending the danger doesn’t exist.
Thank you again to the decent people here who remind me every day why this country is worth building a life in.