*every door, unless you're anticipating someone swinging a door at you, in which case the odds become a flat 50% chance occurrence

Do you choose to be teased by the peaceful, yet restricting heavenly world or experience having no rules, while enduring constant suffering? You can never be eligible to live in either world permanently.

No cards, electronic payments, or getting change back. Just a pocket full of bills and coins everywhere you go.

I feel like this belongs somewhere in the unhappy middle ground between being gay and not being gay.

1 egg = at least 1 eggshell piece but could be 4-5 on any given egg. Your omelette could be an eggshell minefield.

I just went into a McDonalds bathroom and the door was super short, I’m not too tall but I am above average, however I can see over the door when walking past. What is this nonsense? It’s heck out here.

You know when you need to call the IRS, your phone company, a health insurance company, etc, and you have to wait on hold and play phone tag and you keep getting transferred in a circle and no one has the ability to help you? Every problem you have can only be solved via a phone call like this

Your car breaks down? You'll be speaking to 7 different agents who are all telling you they cant help you or giving you different instructions on how to repair your car.