I work at a cafe whose business model is literally just to sell baked potatoes, so I already eat at least five a week. great cafe by the way.
my absolutely lovely darling little old lady boss knows life is expensive and so sends me home with the unusable potatoes (usually the too small ones) so now I have even more opportunities to eat potato.
despite the aforementioned sweet old lady already paying me more than she should be able to afford, I need these potatoes to stretch my grocery budget, or really, just be my grocery budget. I briefly considered finding a food bank for my extra potatoes but I can’t afford not to eat them.
its potato all the time. I breathe potato. I dream potato. I bleed potato. I am slowly metamorphosing into an Irishman before the famine. when I inevitably break down sobbing before the sheer infinity of potato before me, my tears will taste like salted potato.
I need more ways to eat potatoes. I mash them. I bake them. I fry them. I hashbrown them. I boil them in whatever cheap stock or broth I have, then puree them as a soup base. i make gnocchi. I add strange things to them, like greek yogurt for protein. I’m currently eating julienned potatoes fried with whipped eggs poured over them, which makes something like an omelette.
please send me your weirdest potato ideas. anything I haven’t done especially if it doesn’t taste like potato. I will stop at nothing so long as it is edible. thank you for your wisdom.
sincerely,
the human potato