Guys, I stick around for two reasons. To give people hope and advice. And honestly, to remind myself how terrible this stuff is. I’ve met others like me who have hung out here for four to even six years or longer for those same reasons.

I was hopeless. Very deep in a black hole with no visible light kind of hopeless. For years. I was running scared, just using to stay out of withdrawal. I lived like that for a very long time.

I want you guys to know that there is hope. People often ask, when will I feel better? When will the restless legs and restless body go away? When will I sleep again? When will I feel normal?

Everyone is different, and I think a lot depends on how long you used and how much you were taking each day. For perspective, I used kratom for 10 years and was taking over 100 grams per day.

I’ve always thought of kratom as a giant black ball of sticky tar. We get stuck to it, and ripping ourselves free seems impossible. But it can be done. Cold turkey or tapering, it can be done. As we slowly pull ourselves away and become unstuck, we’re left with globs of tar all over our bodies. Ripping those off leaves scabs, wounds, and scars that take time to heal. That’s how I think of recovery.

Getting free from the substance is one thing, but healing from what it did to us is another.
So, for my length and amount of use, when did I finally feel better? The ultimate answer is around the one-year mark, more specifically about one year and one month. That’s when I really started thriving again. Now I have energy for days. I have optimism again, motivation, and the ability to enjoy normal things. My brain’s reward system finally feels like it’s functioning normally again.

Did I feel better at nine months than I did at six months? Absolutely. Was six months better than three months? Yes. And at three months, even though I was still in survival mode, I felt much better than I did at two months or one month. For me, recovery happened very, very slowly. But looking back, I was making progress the entire time.

Some of you who only used for a year or two might feel 100% after one month. Maybe two months. That’s awesome! Stick with it and don’t ever go back. I just want those of you who are several months clean and still struggling to understand that it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. I was still struggling long after many others seemed to have recovered.

One of the biggest problems with kratom, like any addiction, is that we have to reach the point where our perceived benefit of not using becomes greater than our perceived benefit of using.

For me, that meant going through hell for about a year, dealing with what I experienced as extreme post-acute withdrawal symptoms. I can tell you with 100% certainty that I will never go back to it. Partly because I finally understand just how much I stand to lose and how long recovery can take.

I get downvoted sometimes for saying this, but I’m personally a big believer in getting clean without relying on a bunch of medications to make withdrawal easier. That’s not to say medications don’t have their place or that people shouldn’t seek medical help. Everyone’s circumstances are different. I’m just sharing my own experience and beliefs.

For me, I worried that if I found the perfect concoction of medications to make quitting relatively painless, I might convince myself down the road that I could use again because quitting wasn’t that bad. I think the difficulty of my quit helped solidify my resolve to never go back.

The best advice I ever received was to embrace the suck. Sit in it. Accept it. Embrace it. Don’t spend every waking moment fighting the fact that you’re uncomfortable. Somehow, once I accepted that I was going to feel terrible for a while and stopped fighting it mentally, my brain started to calm down.

We as humans are so much more capable and powerful than we give ourselves credit for. I didn’t think I could embrace the suck for even one day, much less another day, and another, and then weeks, months, and literally a year or so. But I did. And I’m not special. You can do it too.

One thing I really want to share is just how much my everyday life has changed.
I remember when I was still using, I had absolutely no energy for family get-togethers or everyday responsibilities. Doing dishes was horrendous. Wiping down tables, preparing food, vacuuming? Forget about it. Going camping, to the beach, or to a lake? All I could think about was the packing, preparation, heavy lifting, and work involved. It all sounded miserable.

And this was while I was still using!

I had gotten so used to life being miserable that I didn’t even remember what it felt like to enjoy normal things. I honestly didn’t know those things could ever be enjoyable again.

Now I actually love doing those things. I have energy for days. I look forward to activities and family time. The little responsibilities of everyday life don’t feel like mountains anymore. I can’t emphasize enough how incredible that change has been. I had no idea how much of my life kratom had taken away until I finally got it back.

So what helped me the most? Exercise. I cannot emphasize this enough.
Whether it’s going to the gym, walking around the block a few times, using a treadmill, or, in my case, getting on a free elliptical that I happened to have in my basement.

I started doing one hour every day. Was it miserable at first? Absolutely. Was it grueling? Yes. Did I want to do it? Not even a little bit. But my brain felt better afterward. Sometimes that was the only part of the day when I felt any relief.

So I kept doing it, day after day, and I’m still doing it to this day. I’ve also lost 60 pounds of fat along the way. That’s just a byproduct. I wasn’t even doing it to lose weight. I did it for my brain.

In my personal experience, no supplement or medication came close to the benefit I got from consistent exercise. That, along with the basics we all know about, like eating better, staying hydrated, getting sunlight, and taking care of ourselves.

If you’re early in recovery, don’t think you have to start with an hour. Walk around the block if that’s all you can manage. Do what your body allows. The important thing is to start somewhere and keep at it.

I also wanted to share some practical tips for those of you who are preparing to quit. I remember somebody posting a similar list here about a year ago, and there were a lot of great suggestions in the comments. These are some of the things I remember and would recommend having ready before quitting.

Flushable wipes. Trust me.

Easy-to-eat foods. Grapes, yogurt, microwave or oven-baked chicken nuggets, whatever sounds tolerable. You might be nauseous for a while, but not everyone vomits. Eat what you can, when you can.

Electrolytes. Gatorade or those little powder packets you mix into water, like Liquid I.V. White Peach is absolutely the best flavor, by the way.

Clean clothes and bedding. Wash your clothes, sheets, pillowcases, and blankets before you quit.

Personal grooming. Trim your fingernails and toenails ahead of time. It’s one less thing to worry about.

Comfortable clothing. Have hoodies, sweatpants, blankets, and whatever else makes you comfortable ready to go.

Basic supplies. Deodorant, toiletries, easy meals, and things like ibuprofen.

Entertainment. Find some shows or movies you can binge-watch when you’re just trying to make it through another minute.

Prepare your surroundings. Clean your house, do your laundry, stock your fridge, and get as much done as possible before quitting.
If you have to work and can’t take time off, then go to work and fake it till you make it. Do what you have to do.

And when you get home, change into your comfortable clothes, watch whatever you want, and take care of yourself.
One other thing I remember vividly is that my skin absolutely hated water during withdrawal. I was like a cat. Seriously. Sometimes I’d go a week without showering because I couldn’t stand the sensation. And at the time, I was OK with that. Now I shower every day.

But if you’re going through that, at least try washing your hair in the sink or doing whatever basic hygiene you can tolerate.

The point is to prepare ahead of time so you have fewer things to worry about when you’re feeling your worst. And if anyone has other helpful suggestions, please add them in the comments. I know there are a lot of things I’m forgetting.

Something else I want to mention is how liberating it is once you have enough time away from this stuff that it no longer has a grasp on you. You start going entire days without thinking about it. You don’t crave it. You don’t plan your life around your next dose. You don’t worry about running out or going into withdrawal. You just go about your day like everyone else.

I can’t tell you how incredible that feels.
I used to wonder how normal people lived without taking something every day to feel good. Now I understand. I never needed kratom in the first place, just like they don’t.

Life really can be beautiful again. And I think people who have overcome addiction are some of the most grateful people in the world, myself included. Because we know what hell was like. We know what it’s like to wake up every morning trapped in something we desperately want to escape. We know what it’s like to feel hopeless. And when you finally get free, even the smallest things in life can feel like gifts. I don’t know that I’ll ever take life for granted again.

Just to give you an idea of where I’m at today, I gave up alcohol three years ago. I tapered off Zoloft, an antidepressant I had been taking for 13 years, about two years ago. I took my last dose of kratom 443 days ago, which was actually a relapse after making it through 26 days clean.

I’m now 20 days nicotine-free. And five days ago, I abruptly quit caffeine to reset that dependency as well. I still plan to enjoy caffeine occasionally, but I didn’t like being dependent on it every single day.

To each their own when it comes to getting clean from different substances. But for me personally, I want to be free from daily substance dependencies. I’m perfectly happy living a healthy life without them. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything anymore. Quite the opposite.

I am rooting for each and every one of you. There is a beautiful life on the other side of this bullshit.

Kratom doesn’t make your life better in the long run. At least it certainly didn’t make mine better. It slowly wraps chains around you until you feel completely stuck and trapped forever. But you’re not trapped forever. There is a way out, and deep down, I think most of us know what we need to do, even though we may all take slightly different paths to get there. dig deep and find your way.

For those of you on day one, day three, day thirty, or those of you still using and desperately trying to find the courage to quit, I want so badly for you to experience what I’m experiencing today. To wake up without cravings. To go through an entire day or week or month without thinking about kratom.

To enjoy family gatherings again. To have energy, motivation, and genuine happiness.

To feel normal again.

Life was not meant to be lived chained to this garbage. We were meant to function perfectly fine without it.

It’s weird. We’re all so different, yet we’re all so much alike. I read your posts and comments, and so often I find myself thinking, man, I’ve been exactly where this person is right now.

I know that hopelessness. I know that fear. I know what it’s like to wonder if you’ll ever feel normal again. And my heart genuinely aches for anyone who’s still stuck in it.

I wish I could personally help every single one of you get out. I may not know you personally, but I love you guys. I really do.

I was hopeless for years. I truly thought I had permanently ruined my brain and would never be happy again. And today, at 443 days clean, I’m happier, healthier, and more optimistic about life than I have been in a very long time.

I hope this helps somebody who’s struggling or wondering whether things will ever get better. I know how much it meant to me when I was early in recovery and would read posts from people who had made it out and were doing well.

Sometimes those posts were the only thing that gave me hope.

Best of luck to all of you. I’m rooting for you guys!

I want to hear your stories

I am quitting cold turkey tomorrow. I have a couple of days off but I am supposed to work Thursday. Typically I would want more time off, I could reschedule. I’m thinking it might really be good for me to push myself and try to stay busy after the day 3 mark. Instead of sitting around all day.

I have only been using Kratom again for 3 months. I know it is still going to suck and be painful. I’m assuming it won’t be as bad as when I originally quit after 6 years of high dose powder use.

I leave for a work trip in two weeks and I need to quit in time to be off of it by the time I leave. I want to quit before it’s years of this again. I’m already just absolutely miserable and unhappy using the powder again. I felt 100 times happier sober. The demon just creeps in. I am heart broken that I let myself get here again but I believe in myself.

Day 1 tomorrow!

I don't know how much traction can this post possibly get, I'm guessing none, and I don't mind. I'm writing this for myself. I really wanna quit this time and I feel like putting this statement out there will make it somewhat official. I'm gonna tell you the whole story, so expect a lot of yapping. Feel free to skip to the last paragraph to keep it short and simple.

I was 17 in July 2024, when my (now ex) girlfriend offered me to try kratom. She was already using it daily for about a month or so, and I decided to try it. I already did so like a month prior to that, but this was the first time I actually felt the effects. It felt great. We went out and shared one golden Marlboro, which further increased my euphoria. And that was it.

From then on, I would ask her to share some with me a few times a week. It was always like 2 tea spoons, so I was nowhere close to getting addicted. By the way I didnt suffer from any mental problems or anything. I just drank it to feel good, motivated and have some fun. No other motivation. This period lasted for almost a year. As time went on, I slowly started to drink it everyday. She still shared hers with me, I only bought my own very occasionally. She's generous right? I saw her struggling with addiction, which prevented me from further increasing daily doses. Although I drank it every day, it was always just once, and still around 2 table spoons. I still didn't get physically addicted, so if I left it out for one day, nothing happened.

Anyways, in June 2025, a few months of daily one-dose consumption, she was leaving to UK for a week. So I decided to completely avoid it for those few days, since she was my main source of kratom. I was still pleasantly surprised to learn that I had almost no withdrawal symptoms, other than taking a bit longer to fall asleep. After 4 successful days, I went and bought some. I just got a shit load of money for my birthday and couldn't wait to feel the high again. These 4 days were the very last days I spent sober up to this point.

During the summer break, I kinda fucked up. I had a part time job, and everyday before my shift started, I would down an energy drink or a coffee and follow it up with kratom. I have since learned that you shouldn't combine these two. Anyways, I still didn't get completely addicted, but I just couldn't help myself. The idea of being sober at work was just so boring to me. So I did this every day and it all went downhill from there. When school started, I slowly but surely increased daily doses.

Fast forward to the summer of 2026, I'm consuming around 25-30g per day, so yeah, I AM physically addicted now. I tried tapering many times, but as soon as I notice an actual progress, I wind up messing it up and starting all over again. I also don't have many reasons to stop. No one forces me to and I don't have any negative physical nor mental side effects. I just feel like I should prevent those before they even happen and I wanna be finally independent from this substance again. And I spent wayy more money on it than I'm comfortable with. So these are my only reasons. I was making some decent progress towards the end of August, but of course, my girlfriend broke up with me. I had spent pretty much a quarter of my life with her so I felt really devastated. And guess what substance I cope with. Yeah. I just really wanna succeed now. Any tips are very much welcome. Thank you for reading, if someone really did so. I appreciate it. I'm probably gonna come back with an update.

(Sorry for any possible grammatical errors, I'm from Czech republic, but I'm almost fluent in english so it should be fine)

My post from this same sub, 46d ago, that I wasn’t allowed to link in this post was titled:

Went down from 36g/60 pills a day
3.6g/6 pills a day. Almost done w taper! 42yo F, 12 yrs of use. (And I feel FINE!)

Have a look.super happy to say that it’s done!

Tapered, found out what was driving my usage (it was a way for me to curtail the soul crushing anxiety from what I now know is SEVERE, life threatening iron anemia deficiency) and since then-I’ve treated the underlying problem with specialists and iron infusions.

The anxiety is raw about one week a month , but I’ve managed. No, it hasn’t been perfect, but I’ve not touched it on a while. Although I haven’t counted (that’s not my thing and sets me up for failure) I can est I’m about 12 days with NADA.

Crazy, but doing it imperfectly was the PERFECT way to quit for me. I even have like half a bag left. Not worried about it.

Thought I’d spread the news that if you are good at being imperfect: IT’S A GREAT WAY TO QUIT!

Hooray and good luck to yall! See you on the other side!

*For those of you old enough to Love *Half Baked* this is the sound bite I keep hearing when I rem it’s been over 10 days:
Custodian/aka “Janitor, dick!”:

“GONE!”

I got off kratom, mostly extracts on May 28. It was not easy, but I’m proud to say I haven’t touched it since. I felt really good after about 90 days, but the last month or so, I have been so exhausted and depressed. Those of you who have been off awhile, is this normal? I still get the yawns and my vision is weird. And like I said, anhedonia has been a bitch

Is it impossible to do because of the short half life. I am currently at 120-160 mg a day. Want to quit but last time I did CT the withdrawals were absolutely brutal. The positive was it only lasted 3 days and got better every day after. From what I'm hearing if I switch to leaf it's a longer more drawn out withdrawal which I do not want. I got some gabapentin this time , couple Ativans and all the supplements (magnesium vitamin c ) should I just take a few days off embrace the suck and go for it? The worst part about my last CT was the restless legs and that's why I got gabapentin this time. Any advice is appreciated.

Extracts for 4 months, 7 for 9 months, 15+ quit attempts. Peak was around 1300 mg of 7 (at least I think it was 7).

So I hit the big 30 today, but also hit a massive wall. Weeks 1 and 2 sucked as always, but week 3 and 4 were honestly more than great. Especially this past week of full sobriety. But man today was different.

This drug took everything from me, lost my gf, job, maybe 15k - 20k in finances, my mental health, all down the drain. I lost two friends during my year and half addiction and never really processed it correctly, since I was doped up or in WD 24/7.

I was feeling really good this morning, ready to start the week on the right foot, but something hit me out of nowhere. I guess reality set in and I realized all the pain I’ve caused myself and everyone around me. I’ve never really been depressed but this was a sad day.

I’m a dude and always felt like half a man if I cried but think it was more than needed. Feeling pretty good again, but man I had a lot of unresolved grief. I guess I’m human

Maybe it’s just PAWS and this is temporary, but I’ve learned just how much my ADHD has been effecting me over the past few years especially being unmedicated until here recently(non-stimulant).

I guess the kratom was masking a lot of the symptoms and keeping me from getting the proper meds.

Anybody else experiencing this?

Sleep was rough last night but was back at work today. Was and is exhausting and certainly not the best day but got it done. Loads of anxiety with just being back so proved it could be done. The anxiety sweat is real! At times felt I was jumbling my words which I was because my brain is still adapting. I fuckin never wanna do this again but still crave something obviously because highly uncomfortable. I really didn’t think it was gonna be like this by day 6, I feel like last time I stopped, it was like 4 days and then rebounded quickly. Hoping I’m right freaking there. Even with shitty sleep when I did wake up, I didn’t feel the darkness as much so that’s a plus. I contribute a lot of the shaky feeling during the day as just relearning how to just be…luckily I have many years sober before this stupid shit for the last year. So stupid yet no difference in addiction, it was the same mindset, same behaviors, same lying and hiding, eye drops, finance loss, same stress on marriage and family obligations…just the worst “high” for such a price tag of those things. Just wild

I hope this can help others:

I’ve been tapering since spring and my all time high of 75-80 GPD. Down 2/3rds of the way. So I’m only on a 3rd of what I used to be on. Didn’t have any side effects getting there but long story short about 3 weeks ago out of nowhere I started getting some really bad nerve pain when I got down to about 25 GPD. The first weekend it was all up and down the legs up into my buttocks. Since then I have been scared to drop anymore. Pain cleared up for the most part til basically the last few days. I’ve still had slight pain but I dropped again today and yesterday and it’s come back full force in my arms and skin around my chest and pain. It feels like my skin is on fire.

Anyway to get to the point. I been reading up on neuropathy and what can help. R-Lipoic Acid is supposed to really help neuropathy and so I had ordered some about ten days ago. And I started taking the day after it came in so right about a week now. Apparently this is what they give patients in Europe usually first before even Gabapentin and it takes about 2 weeks before it builds up in the system. Well I’ve been free of nerve pain all day and about an hour ago my nerve pain started on real bad. Like fast and hard it came on. I immediately took the R-Lipoic Acid and about a half hour my pain has been cut about 75 percent. So I’m convinced it works. Mind you they say two weeks to build up in the system and I’ve only been on it a week so far. Amazing. Just wanted to share if anyone else is having nerve pain. It has to be the R-Lipoic Acid. There are other kinds but I’ve been told it needs to be R!

I’m crying for a mixed bag of reasons! I’m so happy to be at 12 days. Truly a miracle in my book. I know I’m not out of the woods yet but I’m on the way! Also crying for grief of losing my best friend. The stuffing of handfuls of capsules into my mouth(secretly in my closet) until I could almost gag so I could have more energy and get everything done in a big way! It was all a lie. It was great until it wasn’t. I just look back and can’t believe how stupid I was and how insidious and sneaky this stuff is. 9 years is a long time. I’m not giving up - I know I have work to do!

Second post here; my first post garnered some really good advice that I’m so thankful for. For my own sanity, I wanted to post again.

Today is day 7 of my conservative taper. Have been using at least 10-12 gpd for the past two years. Most days it was probably more because I’d just take it when I started to feel uncomfortable, or I’d just take it. I’m dosing 3x day, at least 7 hours in between each one (8 capsules, 6 capsules, 6 capsules). Yesterday and today I dropped the first dose to 7. That’s the first time I’ve been under 10gpd in as long as I can remember.

Planning to drop 2 capsules a week. Also planning on tapering the whole way and not jumping unless I’m feeling good and my usage is much lower than it is today. Anyway, thank you for the support and if anyone has advice, encouragement, etc I’ll take it!

I’m down to about 6 gpd but I don’t know how to deal with all this anxiety and agitation. Anyone have any suggestions?

I was sober-sober for 17 years (completely abstinent from all substances). After going through some really rough patches in life I started taking kratom for chronic pain and physical issues. The got a hold of me real quick from a dependency standpoint but it was manageable. I have been a daily kratom user for almost 10 years now. I would take anywhere from 25-50g/day. About a year ago I picked up some 7-OH so I could travel without powder, scales, shakers and all that nonsense. After a week away, I came back and couldn’t get back to kratom. I’ve been a daily 7-OH user for about 6 months taking 400-500mg/day. The last few weeks I’ve been trying to lower tolerance with other analogs that shan’t be named. It hasn’t worked well. I am not a religious person but I pray every night and lately I’ve been asking to be rid of this dependency as it makes me feel like a mouse on a wheel and I hate it. I got a perscription for clonidine and suboxone but haven’t started taking it yet because I don’t know if I can make it the 24 hours the dr said I need to take the subs. I woke up this morning without DT which is unusual. I haven’t taken anything yet today, last dose was at 9pm yesterday, hoping to make it to 9pm tonight so I can take the suboxone. Haven’t taken clonidine yet and I’m muddling though my workday. Usual early DT symptoms. I haven’t an interview at 2pm and I’m afraid to take the clonidine before then as I don’t know how I’m going to react. I hate that I’m in this position.

I’m a little over two months past my final quit (three times before over years past failed but this time I’m not going back) and have a question for those who may know more regarding kratom and inflammation.

Does Kratom cause systemic inflammation? I don’t know any studies on this. I used for 8 years and I’m very physically active even after a spinal fusion 6 years ago. However the pain in my back had gotten so bad I couldn’t train martial arts any more for the past two years and in the 9-10 weeks since I quit my back feels light years better.

My pain issue is likely caused my hardware implants as indicated by multiple hardware block diagnostic procedures - but it has gotten significantly better since I quit and I’m wondering if this has to do with less systemic inflammation.

This could also tie to the hair loss component. I will not argue with the crowd that says it doesn’t cause hair loss - I’m keeping pictures this time and will make a one year post with regular updates. After two months it’s already growing in thicker. That’s for a later post but inflammatory response could be related to the hair loss component as well. And people who get GI upset.

Anyone who has any knowledge on this area would be grateful for your sharing!

Day 4 again!

Got about 3 hours of sleep? I normally sleep like poo on night 2 but this WD is very different. And I know my recovery time window to an unfortunately vivid amount.

I had the best quit with practically no symptoms and fucked it all up.

I have done several tapers and kept relapsing. It was really showing itself in my relationship. And me being a 36/M cried in my fiance's arms​ and had to tell her I got hooked again. Talk about a low.

We have an accountability game plan. I always relapse on day 5 so tomorrow I am leaving the debt cards home and will be calling her.

I did not realize how much head space this shit takes up. Where and when will you get the next fix, do I have anti acids because I took an extract and those make me spit acid, will my partner want to have the sex? As this stuff makes me forget about sex altogether. Not to mention it makes orgasms feel like im peeing.

** And that is just the top of my head right now **.

Its only day 4 but i really do like not having to make a little shady route or wonder where im going to throw out my tea cups. I am going to look forward to not worrying about sleep either.

Also wont have to do the walk of shame to the kratom bars knowing im fucking up my taper again.

Share absolutely anything

Hi,

day 5 me, I’m glad you don’t know day 10 me because you would’ve second guessed this thing.

anyways, I’m on day 5 of absolute nothing. the only thing I can really feel mentally is goosebumps. like if something’s sad I get goosebumps but I don’t even get sad or happy. crying was nice before because it released some serotonin but I can’t even feel anything anymore.

I workout. That helps for the time I’m doing it but then straight back to blahtown. Only thing that makes me feel even a semblance of anything is horror games. Depressing books and games are just boring and anything happy/romantic just pisses me off because I know I’m supposed to feel but I cannot.

I drank kava to try and feel and that was ok for sleeping but when I tried thc i didn’t even get a euphoric kick, which honestly is a good thing, because i probably would want it more than once a week if it did anything more than make me focused.

”I think I skipped paws” my ass day 5 me. Anyways I’ll make you proud by making it another couple weeks just out of spite you bloody bastard.

Is this that poison Kratom leaving my body or what. I have never, ever had BO like this. Honestly, I’m a clean person and use products. Never had this smell. Yuk. I’m at 11 days sober!

I quit kratom a little over two months ago after using upwards of 30g every day for 6 years. A few weeks after stopping, the anxiety and depression started and it was unbearable. Anxiety felt better after a couple weeks but now the depression still lingers. I have had depression for about 15 years, but I feel like it's gotten worse since quitting. Kratom helped me get out of bed and do things. Numbed the pain. Now I struggle to find the motivation to do anything. I have a psychiatrist I am working with to get meds stabilized but fuck, this sucks.

When will things start to feel normal again? Anybody else experience this?

I was a very heavy user for 4 years. Stared on powder and ended up doing the Opia extract tables the last 2 years. It started with me taking a pack a day throughout the day and ended with me eating like 3 whole packs a day.

On September 17th I went to a detox center. They put me on Suboxone and a few other helper meds. I did really well. They slowly tapered me off Suboxone and I just graduated the program a week ago today. I was actually off Suboxone 2 weeks before that. I do feel better and I could not have done it without these great people. I went in feeling like I wanted to die. I was on day 3 of my attempt to quit cold turkey and could not do it so I went to detox. I would say right now I feel 90% better overall.

But even today I'm still getting fatigue throughout the week. It's not nearly as bad as when I went in but I can feel that my daily energy levels are not right. I also get these random bouts of depression and anxiety. I didn't have any of this before using Kratom.

My question is this:

Did a screw up my brain chemistry forever from abusing this stuff? Will I ever feel normal again? I just want to feel normal again.

It’s weird how the withdrawal symptoms come and go and are different day to day. Currently tapering and have been on the same dose for a week. I haven’t had the skin pain since I made a big jump of cutting my gpd from 33 to 17 four weeks ago. Maybe it’s because I’ve been fairly stationary today on the couch watching football… but damn, my skin huuuurts.

I’m also starting to wonder if what I’m taking has other things in it besides kratom leaf. I order online in bulk from a company that can recommend when my other online source stopped selling capsules. When I quit kratom the first time almost 10 years ago (from my original source), I did not have any withdrawal. I just slowly tapered down, the same exact way I am now and it was painless. When I got off I remember thinking “why did I wait so long, that was so easy.” That is NOT the case this time. Maybe it’s due to the frequency I was dosing this time, small amounts every 30 min all day vs every 2 hours with a cut off at 4pm… idk… all I know is this time it’s a wild painful ride and I want off. There are so many different symptoms on different days and taking my titrated doses doesn’t seem to help if I’m experiencing withdrawal symptoms. I can feel my dose kick in, but the symptoms remain. It’s so weird. I’ve come off regular opiates and benzos before and with each of those, if you take a little your withdrawal eases for a bit. That’s not the case here and I’m very curious as to why… it doesn’t make sense.

Feeling loads better. Feeling grateful. The only thing that’s harder is my stamina & my sleep disturbances started a couple days ago. I took helper meds initially & maybe stopping those f-Ed my sleep up. Not sure but I’ve been tossing & turning at night. I don’t have RLS & it’s not completely unbearable but during the acutes which have already subsided I was sleeping a lot. Now I’m on a family trip & I’m not able to get good sleep. I even took Ambien & just woke up like 2 hours later. Kinda a wild ride but I’m grateful for the progress. I’ve relapsed so many times in the past. I’ve got to approach it differently this time.

Good luck to everyone going through this. It can be a bit of a rollercoaster but I feel like my outlook & symptoms are improving