I have finally found irrefutable proof that Jesus was South African.

The evidence has been staring us in the face for 2,000 years.

Jesus said, “I’ll be back just now.”

And humanity has been waiting ever since.

For my non-South African friends, “just now” is a perfectly legitimate unit of time in South Africa.

It can mean five minutes. It can mean tomorrow. It can mean sometime after the next election. It can also mean never, but we don’t like to put unnecessary pressure on people.

We also have “now now,” which sounds more urgent but isn’t necessarily.

And then there’s “now,” which is generally when your mother has asked you to do something for the third time and is reaching for a wooden spoon.

So imagine the disciples.

“Lord, when shall we see you again?”

“Just now, my bru.”

“Before sunset?”

“Ag, we’ll see.”

And off he goes.

Two thousand years later, the entire Christian world is still waiting for a man who probably just popped out to the Spar for milk and a packet of NikNaks.

It also explains the feeding of the five thousand.

Five loaves and two fish?

That’s a South African braai where everyone was told to bring their own meat and nobody did.

The water into wine miracle? Obviously a wedding in Stellenbosch where someone realised they’d underestimated the guest list.

And walking on water?

Load shedding. Pool pump wasn’t working. Nobody could see the shallow end.

I’m not saying we should rewrite the Bible.

I’m just saying that when Jesus finally returns, I wouldn’t be surprised if his first words are:

“Jislaaik, you okes are still here?”

Followed immediately by:

“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was hectic.”

We’re top of the list. This has been worrying me so much. Everywhere you turn is another online gambling ad and our rugby players promote online gambling too. I just can’t imagine in a country with our poverty and unemployment rate that this goes on. Sorry for sounding puritanical but don’t we have enough challenges as a country to now add this?

I recently bought a bottle of Peaceful Sleep Family Care Spritzer
Compared it to an old almost empty bottle which has a date of 2020.

Only comes in 100ml now.

What’s changed?
100ml vs 200ml
Up to 6 hrs vs up to 8 hrs. 🤔

Have you noticed this too?

Maaaan, I love the people.

Tannie (the worst one)

Oom

Friend

Chomie

Sista

Mam

China, obvious has fallen out of use

Starts at 0830 today. Local Redbull Athlete going global things. This is only Redbull's 5th 'raw' live event ever.

Edit. Thomas van Tonder is taking monkey bars to the next level and attempting the longest set of monkey bars ever built. The course is attached underneath Africa's highest bridge, and follows the natural arch of the bridge meaning that he will have to also overcome the challenge of the change in elevation as the lactic acid in his arms builds up.

The course is 280 meters long, and there are approximately 600 different bars for Thomas to traverse in his attempt to cross to the other side.

The bridge is 216 meters high and is the highest bridge in Africa 📐

So that's why my FNB was down this morning. Seems to be back online now but got a mini heart attack when all my accounts were gone from the app.

Good day all.

I am a white South African fluent in English, Russian and Afrikaans.

I recently started my journey learning Setswana as it is an African language mostly spoken where I live and I would like to be able to speak it at a conversational level with those around me.

Those of you who are fluent in Setswana or learned the language - would you have any tips for me?

Are there any free resources available which I could use, to assist me on this journey?

Also, if there are any fluent Setswana speaker who would be open to connecting and teaching me some phrases please let me know.

Looking forward to your responses!

Think they are in for an extremely rude awakening next week.

See also: The paywalled study (in PDF format) as published in the South African Archaeological Journal (through Academia.EDU)

Hey tjomies. Something that I’ve been casually interested in lately has been info on just how fucked the old regime was and just how well they lied to the complicit/compliant during the 80s and 90s. Being born in ‘94, I’m stuck between my parents glazing the “good old days” to varying degrees and school just not talking about it, I’ve realised I know very little about how the Apartheid apparatus worked, and I hear from time to time that it was just as corrupt and “captured” as anything that’s happened since.

Looking for recommendations on books, articles, papers, anything to assist with my continued education!

Good afternoon south Africa, I've now been trying to obtain my license for over a month to no avail.

I am a foreigner so I must test with my TRN, the issue being, all the TRN portals are not working. When I try to verify my TRN it says it's not registered. I got it in may and my learners license not long after.

I'm also assisted by a reputable driving school in Pretoria east that is experiencing the same exact issue.

Does anyone know what these TRN issues are due to ? When will they be resolved ? How do fellow foreigners looking to test currently go around this problem?

I lost my ID, has anyone done the application process through a FNB? How long did it take? Thanks!