About two and a half months ago I got a personal trainer and started working towards losing weight. I started at 370 lbs or higher, don't fully know. Now im already down to 330. Im very happy with the progress ive made so far.

Last night I was at a friend's place, hanging out with 4 friends. In passing I mentioned how much ive lost, I didn't make an announcement type thing, just in passing, "hey ive managed to lose 40 lbs and im really happy about it"

This morning one of the friends texted me and said "I need to be more sensitive about talking about weightloss." Went on to say its physically impossible to lose that much in 2.5 months and I will make others feel terrible about themselves if they are trying to lose weight to.

I don't think its an asshole thing to share a milestone in my life, what do you think.

Edit: I just want to thank everyone for how encouraging you've all been, I was really bummed when they texted me that, but this all helps more than I thought it would

Last spring my husband was in a motorcycle accident. At first we didn’t realize how bad it was and thought he’d just be in the hospital for a few days. I didn’t leave the hospital for the first 48 hours until his brother and mother finally got there. I asked them to stay with him for 6 hours so I could go home, eat, shower, and take a quick nap before visiting hours ended and they’d have to leave. I left around 2:00 and promised to return around 8:00. Around 5:30 they left without telling me, his sister asked me if I knew they’d left because they told her since he kept asking for me his mom didn’t see the point in being there. At the time they lived a 4 hour drive away so they drove 4 hours, barely spent 3 with him and then went back home.

I was furious and jumped out of bed to rush back to the hospital. My husband has some medical trauma and I did not want him left alone because he wouldn’t be trusting of the hospital staff especially with all the medications they had him on. Of course in the time he was left alone is when everything started to turn. He was clearly not getting better, he was increasingly fatigued and we didn’t know what was wrong. I did what I could to help him through the night but his limbs started swelling and early the next morning a doctor told me he’d had a heart attack during his accident and they’d missed if on arrival. He’d gone 3 days with no treatment for a widow maker heart attack and was now in heart failure. At age 33 this was completely unexpected and I finally broke down realizing this was going to be so much worse than we thought.

It was quickly decided that he needed to go on life support the next day and after I told his mother and brother how disappointed I was in them when they left in his hour of need and when I just needed a few hours of support they felt guilty and came back to our house. At this point my husband was very fragile and I didn’t want to put any stress on him that could impact his heart.

He and his mother don’t have the best relationship, many interactions just end up heated or we end up not speaking for months. For this reason I asked his mom not to come to the hospital that day because I didn’t want to risk any additional stress on his body. This didn’t mean she couldn’t come at all, I just wanted to wait until he was sedated. She took this to mean she was no longer welcome at all and left. He was on and off of life support for 3 weeks and she did not come back to see him that entire time. She only came when she was promised that he’d be awake so she could talk to him. Well more-so promised that he could hear her because he had a tracheostomy then so he literally couldn’t speak, only listen.

It’s been 18 months since then. In that time we haven’t spoken with her much. Last summer I tried to have a conversation and asked why should couldn’t just apologize for not being there when her son was on life support? She refused. I could’ve moved on if she just took some accountability.

AITA?

I recently took a trip with my family. My sister ordered an Uber and later sent a Venmo request to split the cost after the trip. the problem is, it was over 2x what I saw when looking on the app at the same time. (I almost booked the ride and had the app up as well. ) Rides were around $70 at the most expensive . She said she paid $175. When I got the request I remarked that it was was more and asked to see the receipt. She says she doesn’t have one and can no longer login to her account. I told her I would pay for my portion of the $70 I saw until I saw the receipt and paid her the same day. Now she is upset and my family is saying I should “just trust her”. Shes also now refusing to pay me her portion of the phone bill and dropped me from our Spotify family plan. I’ve told her I’m willing to pay once I see the receipt. AITAH?

My wife has an extreme phobia as the passenger of a vehicle.

I recently raised my voice after she suddenly yelled "Stop! Stop!" as I approached a green light. The light wasn't changing from/to red, it was in the middle of the green cycle. As usual, she assumed the cross traffic approaching their red light was going to ignore their red and plow into the intersection and kill us all. This happens pretty regularly at four way stops. She just assumes other cars won't stop.

She routinely drives 10-15 over but says she's nervous and wants me to slow down if I go 2 over. I'm following too close when I'm 10 car lengths back. She panickedly informs me every time she sees a brake light go on in front of me ("look out! they're braking!"). Sometimes her unnecessary panic can create real road dangers as she screams like we're about to be in an imminent crash and scares the shit out of me.

She is terrified being a passenger and spends every moment of every trip scared and visually scanning for danger while nagging me and dramatically reacting to false alarm dangers. I'm a pretty safe driver and have never been in an accident. I don't speed excessively or drive dangerously. I follow the flow of traffic.

I've had hundreds of calm discussions with her about it asking her to chill out and stop. I ask if she'd rather drive and she says no.

This week I raised my voice and chewed into her pretty bad over her screaming stop as I drove through a green light. She got very defensive about me raising my voice but I'm pretty done with this shit.

Am I the asshole here? Nothing is working to change her behavior.

I turned 21 last month and my older brother didnt get me anything. Not even a card.

My dad asked me what I wanted to do with him and my brother for my birthday this year so I asked to visit this vegan restaurant I love because they do this awesome sweet potato salad concoction lol. Plus my dad said he wanted to be more health aware this year so I thought he'd appreciate a "health" place.

Anyway my dad starts driving us to the spot and passes me my gift through the gap in the chair. (Its locket with a picture of my recently passed cat and one of her teeth encased in resin. I love it and it means so much to me).

My brother asks to see it and Damn near screams and throws the box back at my face and says its gross/disgusting and why would I ever want that. I think its a little rude but I know how he is and I just want to have a good day so I leave it.

I than jokingly ask where my present from him is if my dad's was so "gross"

he says "oh I hate getting presents for my birthday so I didnt get you one"....what? He's never mentioned not liking presents before but okay.

I asked "oh..not even a card?"

And he gets quiet and says no,he didnt get me anything.

Dinner went fine until the end when my brother called me stupid and began shouting because i said the wrong word in relation to a game mechanic on COD.

He also said he'd pay for his meal but my dad ended up having to pay as he "forgot his card". He promised hed pay our dad back but never did.

Fast forward to yesterday my dad sent me my brothers Christmas list (we all make one,parents included and just get whatever we can afford off the list). I tell my dad hes not getting anything from me this year after he didnt get me a card for my birthday.

My dad thinks this is unfair and petty but my brother makes 5 grand a month and couldn't even get me a card for my 21st? Plus he said he hates presents so I dont see the problem.

Apparently my dad mentioned this to my brother last night because now my phones blowing up with messages from him asking why im punishing him by not getting him a gift because he "forgot" my birthday card.

WIBTAH if I tell my child and their spouse to not bother coming for Christmas if they can’t appreciate what little we can give them? First a little back story, my kids spouse comes from a family that buys affection, manipulates using money, gifts have stipulations or are used to guilt trip etc. Very narcissistic controlling manipulative mother. To the point my child and their family have moved out of state twice to “get away” from the mother… I told all of my kids years ago including my kids spouses, we will never buy your love, or your time. Even if we were millionaires we will never buy your love, or your time, gifts are gifts without conditions or guilt trips.
Well I found out that kids spouse said to another one of my kids that they aren’t coming for Christmas if all they get is dollar store presents. For the past 3 1/2 years, we have been struggling financially, as so many others, trying to stay afloat and have almost lost our house several times. Have had to be on payment plans for every bill we have and have had to eat super cheap (ramen, peanut butter & jelly etc.) there were several times I didn’t eat because there wasn’t enough food for all of us, had to borrow money to get utilities turned back on or to prevent it from being turned off etc… I hadn’t bought body wash or shampoo for myself in over a year, I just used very little of my husbands or thankfully some had been gifted to me by a customer at my old job. I have been wearing the same shoes that have holes in the bottoms, I’ve had to sew the one bra I own multiple times to keep it together, you get the picture… but for Christmas we didn’t want to give our kids and grandkids nothing… so we literally scraped together every spare piece of change we could find, literally counting & rolling coins just to be able to give them something because we enjoy it, not because we think that is what holidays are about. So while yes they may be from the dollar store or the clearance section at Walmart, we choose each one with love.
Anyways, I’m to the point where I want to tell them to not even bother coming until they remember that in this house we visit because we enjoy family time and love each other, not for what you might get out of it. I also want to say something to my children that heard that comment and any others like it and ask why they just let it go and didn’t defend us when they all know how hard we struggle. So would I be the AH if I tell them if that’s what they look for in Christmas or any holidays to not bother coming?

Okay…I admit I am a Diet Coke addict. I don’t drink coffee and I do usually have a Diet Coke with me at most of the time throughout the day. I always drink from the can. I used to use a straw but quit the straw a few years ago.

My husband will just grab my DC whenever he feels like it and drink from it. To use to swallow pills or just to have a sip of something. He will drink from the straw, when I used to use one, and now from the can itself.

It’s not like he does it when we are in the desert and I’m the only one with liquid.. he will do it when we are in the kitchen and there are 2 dozen cans available to him as well as water or any other beverage of his choice. BTW he NEVER will order a Diet Coke at a restaurant or buy himself one at any store. He ONLY wants to drink from my can.

When I complain he says I’m selfish for not sharing… or he makes comments like “oh you have such a hard life”. I think his behavior is extremely passive aggressive. He will also often do a dramatic “aaaaaaahhhh” after taking a sip of my Coke.

And yes I have had calm conversations with him telling him how I feel yet this has been ongoing for YEARS.

AITA I normally do the laundry in the household (just me and husband) I accidentally washed his keys and he could only find the emergency key that goes in the actual remote key and he doesn't have a spare. They were in the hamper and I just forgot to check and I feel horrible that this isn't the first time I've washed them he just has a bad habit of not emptying his pockets and I have a bad habit of not checking pockets. He is angry and was ignoring meand even said an out of pocket comment and I cried and apologized but there's only so much I can do. AITA?

My 25 year old brother has lived with my wife and I for the last 4 years. He’s constantly not having a steady form of income to pay his rent, food and other bills.

I stupidly put his cellphone in my name so that he would
Just pay me. (He gets a discounted price because we are in a family plan) these phones are costing me and my wife to much money, so we told him we would be cancelling the plans. Now he’s giving me the silient treatment because of this. He currently isnt working. And stays up all night playing video games. He doesnt clean up after himself, or care about anyone else in the house.

My mother in law came to live with us because she was struggling, but she pays us what she can when she gets money and cleans up around the house. So I know he’s using that as an excuse.

For a little bit of context, my father is a recovering alcoholic who still slips from time to time. Despite this, he is an amazing grandfather to my son (3yo). He plays with him, takes him outside and shows him new things. We are very close with him and talk to him almost every day.
A couple of days ago, my dad comes over to visit and we had a great time. As he is leaving, he goes to grab his tumbler with his drink. My son curiously asks what his drink is and my dad says “It’s grape juice, do you want some?” My son agrees and he drinks it. He starts to make a funny face and my hearts drops. I drink it right after my son to see what it is, and it’s beer. I immediately kick him out of my house and haven’t talked to him since.
My mom called me the same day and told me that my dad didn’t remember what was in his cup and he felt so bad, he genuinely thought it was his grape juice that he was drinking right before he poured the beer in his cup. He does struggle with memory issues from time to time so i somewhat believe him, but at the same time i don’t think any justification should be given for giving alcohol to a 3 year old. AITAH?

AITA for not giving in to my controlling sister in law? 8 years ago I married into a wonderful family. My husband has 1 brother and 2 sisters. We are all married so the 8 of us meet about twice a month to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries etc. The planning consist of 1 of us throwing out some dates and times to meet. We decide on a time that works for everyone.(consensus) With out fail, every single time, my sister-in-law calls and changes the time we are going to meet (and sometimes the location) - on the day of the event. This causes the 6 of us to have to scramble to change other plans we had that day - to accommodate her. (we all work - she is retired) These people have allowed her do this for 20 years . And everyone gets mad, but they grudgingly change the event time to appease her. This drives me crazy! The kicker is after we have rearranged our schedules in order to accommodate her, she still always shows up late. Her lack of respect for people's time is amazing.

Tired of allowing her to control my free time, I sent out a group text highlighting how busy everyone is...and suggesting perhaps we should uncomplicate everyone's schedules when we plan to get together - and stick to the original agreed upon time. Everyone agreed to do this citing how aggravating her time change requests are. But I wonder if they are going to follow through and deny her next time change request? Am I the asshole because I refuse to let her to dictate what I do in my free time?

So I happened to look out my window and I see a 10-11 year old kid standing next to my mailbox and peeing on a small bush. The bush was basically at his knees and he wasn't concealed at all with everything being exposed. I reacted by opening the door and yelling "What the f are you doing? Get the f out of here." Now I admit that I could have been just as effective without the cuss words, but one of my neighbors is now acting like I'm wrong for even getting mad about it at all. I just think we live in a first world country where people don't do that. Like what if a little girl was riding by on her bike and saw that?

I 15m wasn’t thinking today and I put some food that i got from a shop as a meal into the frying pan. Part of the food is against my stepmom 38f and my dad’s 44m religion but he doesn’t care as much. My stepmom was in the lounge and she walked in to the kitchen and because with frying, the smell fills the room. She also can’t stand the smell of it so she started making a fuss about the smell and said I should only be eating that food outside of the house if I want to at all and that I shouldn’t bring let alone cook it inside the house. I said she could just go back into the other room and i’ll be done in a few mins and she responded saying it still makes the kitchen smell of it and when i’ve put it on the sides before or after cooking. 

It's not her house legally, they aren't married. My dad also doesn't care if I cook or eat it

Hi guys. I’m a SAHM but I also spend a few hours a week as a dance teacher and I’m a sub for my kids school so sometimes I’m spending a few hours a week doing that. I have about 16 loads of laundry to do per month. I do the washing on a cycle so everyone gets theirs done once a month. My husband wants his done every two weeks and when I said no, he has to wait for his turn he got annoyed. He doesn’t run out of clothes, I get his dry cleaning done once a week also, but he thinks I should be doing smaller loads more often instead of bigger loads once a month. His reasoning is that he has his favorite pieces he’d like to wear more often, and he thinks the dirty laundry sitting in the hamper for longer is unhygienic. We do have a special hamper just for extra soiled clothes (like if the kids get muddy in the yard or someone gets mystery poop on themselves or whatever) that gets thrown in between scheduled washes, but he thinks even a normal days worth of sweat will like fester and mold or something if left for a month, which I, as the laundry do-er, have never witnessed.
So that’s about it. Am I an asshole for making my husband wait his turn for his laundry to be done?

A few years ago my father sat my brother and I down and gleefully told us his ex-wife would be his POA and be left everything in his will. At that point, my father was healthy and so was she. My brother and I didn’t argue, but we were well aware their financial situation was precarious, to say the least.

Fast-forward a few years. My brother has died unexpectedly. I handle his estate and distribute some money to my father, who cashes the many-thousands check and keeps the money in his closet. When he cries poor on the phone, he says someone stole it. The ex wife, who also lives in the house, has gone bankrupt a couple times. Her son also lives there and doesn’t work. I have suspicions but keep my mouth shut.

Two years later, my grandfather dies and wills us some more money. Since I’m working, I’m able to invest my share. My father and his family blow all the money on a house they can’t upkeep or afford. They’re forced to sell it a couple years later and my father’s health has declined. He spends a lot of time in the hospital or in a nursing home.

Now he’s in dire straits, about to get kicked out of his rehab center because his ex wife and her son can’t get his documents together for the insurance company to renew. I tried to help but all the documents are at the house. I was told not to go there because the ex wife is struggling “physically and mentally.” He can’t remember his passwords, or which bank accounts are still active. Then he says they want to transfer POA to me.

I live several states away, have no access to any documents, can’t track down the lawyer with whom his will was filed. I told him I was not happy about this, work full time at a demanding job, and of course they want to wash their hands of his mess. They had no problems using his money all these years to buys houses.

I said they need to arrange the transfer, pay the legal fees, and send the documents. Basically, I punted the whole thing to them. I doubt they’ll do any of this.

He and that woman, with a few exceptions, made my teenage years miserable. He loaned away my college money and didnt tell me it was gone until I was a high school senior. My mother always planned for us to go to college. My brother and I did, but it was of our own doing, and not with the money earmarked for us after her death.

iDK, am I shirking my daughterly duty? They’re going to use a guilt trip tactic and I don’t feel like dealing with it.

I (20's, F) will be attending an NFL game with my niece "Lucy" (8F) in a few weeks. Lucy is quite smitten with one of the players, and is convinced she's going to get his autograph. Has been talking about it NON-stop.

I warned Lucy that she's probably not getting an autograph. I told her that we can try, but there's a very strong chance she might not get one. Apparently the possibility of not getting one hadn't occured to her, because she got super upset about it.

Now Lucy's mom is mad at me. She says I've "ruined the excitement" of attending the game for Lucy, because she was mostly excited about the autograph, and now she's going to "be worrying about not getting one the whole time".

AITA for warning my niece she's probably not getting an autograph?

. Hello! This is my first time posting so please bear with me. I am an 18-year-old female living in a triple room in a college dorm. One of my roommates, who I’ll call Joy, has been extremely challenging to live with. As a pre-med student, my schedule is packed, and I study four to eight hours a day. Which is exhausting, and I need 8-9 hours of sleep every night to function. Unfortunately, Joy does not seem to understand the function of headphones or basic consideration. She frequently talks loudly on the phone with her boyfriend between 11 PM-2 AM. When I asked her once to keep it down, she was upset and held a grudge the entire next day. She also plays loud music and turns on overhead lights while I am sleeping, waking me up multiple times. During our second week, while I was asleep in my lofted bed, she stood right next to me and joked about putting my chair or lamp outside. She constantly calls me a "nerd" or an "iPad kid" in a mocking tone for studying. While these comments do not bother me, hearing them daily is exasperating. Now, the biggest issue has come up. Joy’s 18-year-old boyfriend, who I’ll call Jake, is visiting town. They constantly bicker over the phone, and Joy threatens to hang up whenever she is slightly annoyed. Jake has made weird jokes and been verbally aggressive toward me. While I do not feel directly in danger, he makes me very uncomfortable. Instead of booking a hotel, Joy decided Jake would stay in our tiny dorm room. In our roommate agreement, I agreed to opposite-gender overnight guests, assuming he would stay the maximum limit of two nights. However, Joy casually informed me he would be staying for an entire week. I was uncomfortable but avoided speaking up because she pouts and throws a fit whenever she does not get her way, and I dont want to deal with her attitude. Today, my other roommate revealed that Joy and Jake have never actually met in person before. Joy explicitly admitted to my other roommate that she hid this fact from me because she knew it would make me uncomfortable. My other roommate is equally uncomfortable with a complete stranger staying in our room for a week. Out of frustration, I booked an appointment with our RA behind Joy’s back to address these issues. Part of me feels guilty because Jake already bought his plane tickets, but Joy deliberately hid the truth. I dont know Jake's true intentions, and I would rather not find out. If the RA steps in, Jake will have to find alternative housing, which may be last-minute and expensive. I am anxious about how Joy will react when she finds out, and I am having second thoughts about taking action because I want to avoid drama for the rest of the year. Am I doing the right thing or am I being dramatic? I’m not sure, please help.

After reading the comments and sitting on it for a while, I realized how messed up my actions were and decided to make things right before Friday's show.

First, I reached out to Bianca:

Me: Hey, so quick update on the concert

 Bianca: okay whats up 

Me: So basically that ticket I gave you was for somebody else 

Bianca: WHAT 

Me: yeah it was for my friend and we had it planned 

Bianca: So then why did you ask me to go with you 

Me: I wanted to go with you

Bianca: Why? 

Me: cause we was vibing and I thought it was gonna be chill

Bianca: So let me get this straight, you ditched your friend for me? 

Me: Well I told him I gave you the ticket 

Bianca: Dude we just met 2-3 weeks ago lol

Bianca: so... I'm guessing you want the ticket back

Me: No, I was just gonna tell you I gave him my ticket

 Bianca: You want me to go to a concert with a guy I don't know? 

Me: he's not on that don't worry 

Bianca: you're weird so you weren't gonna tell me 

Me: What?

Bianca: That the tickets were for somebody else

Me: you're right I should've 

Bianca: I'll go but NOT for you cause I want to see this artist

Me: Sounds Good 

Me: We are still good right?

She left me on read. I stepped back and gave her Dylan’s contact info so they could coordinate.

Next, I hit up Dylan:

Me: I'm sorry man I realized I fucked up and how inconsiderate I have been 

Dylan: yeah you were so you got the ticket back? 

Me: kinda I am going to give you my ticket and you are gonna go in my place 

Dylan: Why? I don't even know this girl bro, does she know? 

Me: Yes she knows I told her all the details

Dylan: bro that's fucked but I'm glad you came to your senses 

Dylan: don't worry I won't steal her lol 

Me:whatever dude lol

I stayed home Friday night while Dylan and Bianca went to the show. After the concert, I checked in with Dylan:

Me: How was the concert 

Dylan: Bro it was Fyee, music killed 

Me: I'm glad. Did Bianca say anything?

Dylan: She was cool, we talked about the artist 

Me: Did Bianca say anything about me?

 Dylan: Well she asked me if you did that a lot. I just told her the truth, that you're selfish at times and have tunnel vision.  That time you forgot your AirPods, and left.

Me: Fair enough 

Dylan: don't worry bro she'll probably text you back

A few hours later, Bianca texted me:

Bianca: Good job for doing the right thing, but I'm not interested anymore. Also be a better friend to Dylan, he hyped you up all night.

 Me: Understood, hope it was a great night for you

She liked my final message, and that was that.

 Dylan and I are completely solid and still homies. I scared away Bianca tho, but I learned a lesson. Your friends are a reflection of you, and Dylan proved he is a real one.

I (19M) have been working out for a few years, but lately my progress has stalled, so I've been paying closer attention to my diet. I track my calories and protein, meal prep ahead of time, and weigh my food. I know it's stricter than how most people eat, but I'm trying to reach a specific goal.

Yesterday, I was in the kitchen preparing my meals for the next few days when my sister came home with her friend. They'd stopped at a bakery and brought back a box of donuts. My sister offered me one, but I declined because I'd already planned what I was eating that day.

Her friend asked if I seriously tracked everything I ate, and I said pretty much. She laughed and said that sounded exhausting, but I didn't think much of it and continued preparing my food.

My sister then started asking why I couldn't just relax and enjoy myself for once. I explained that I just preferred sticking to my routine. Her friend picked up a donut and said she couldn't imagine being so afraid of food that she wouldn't even eat a donut with friends.

I told her that if I did that every time there would be no point in the diet in the first place. She replied that I was making it sound like eating a donut was some terrible decision. I said I hadn't criticized her for eating one, it just didn't fit with my macros.

Her friend then commented that people who were genuinely healthy didn't need to obsess over every little thing they ate. That annoyed me, and I told her she didn't know enough about my goals to decide what was healthy for me.

She said she was only trying to help and that I was taking everything personally. I replied that she had spent the last several minutes making comments about my eating habits, so I didn't see how I was the one starting an argument.

My sister told me I was being rude to her guest and that I could've accepted the donut without turning it into a whole discussion. I said declining food wasn't an insult, and neither of them would have cared if I'd simply said I wasn't hungry.

She told me I was missing the point and that my attitude made people feel judged for eating normally. I asked her to give me one example of me criticizing what she ate, but she couldn't think of one. Instead, she said it was the way I acted whenever I talked about fitness.

Eventually, I took my food and left the kitchen because I didn't want to keep arguing. Later, my sister messaged me saying I owed her friend an apology for making her uncomfortable in our house.

I can admit I got defensive, but I don't think refusing a donut should turn into a debate about my personality. I never told either of them to change their diets, and I don't understand why they couldn't respect my decision to do the same.

I live in an apartment building and have had the same downstairs neighbor Margaret for about two years. We have always had a perfectly cordial relationship, friendly enough in the hallway, no issues whatsoever until about three months ago.

Three months ago Margaret hung wind chimes on her balcony directly below mine. Not one set. Four sets of varying sizes arranged across the full length of her railing.

I want to be clear that I have nothing against wind chimes in principle. The problem is that I work from home full time and my home office is positioned directly above her balcony. On any day with even mild wind the sound is constant and layered and comes directly through my window.

I gave it two weeks thinking I would adjust. I did not adjust.

I knocked on Margaret’s door and explained the situation as kindly as I could. I told her I understood they were meaningful to her and I was not trying to be difficult but that the sound was genuinely affecting my ability to concentrate during work hours and asked if she would consider taking down one or two of the sets or moving them to a different part of the balcony.

Margaret told me wind chimes were a non negotiable part of her living space and that I should consider getting noise canceling headphones.

I said I had tried that and the sound still came through clearly enough to be distracting.

She closed the door.

I am now considering going to building management but feel guilty about escalating something that started as a simple conversation.

AITA for pushing back on this at all?

I 27 Female and my husband 35Male have been married for just a little over a year.

We live in the u.s but we are both originally from different countries I was born and raised in South Africa and he was born and raised in the Philippines.

We dated for 3 years before we got married that was my choice. I didn't want anyone to think I was only with him for a green card .

I love my husband more than anything he is my entire world.

But to say we come from two very different cultures is an understatement.

He is very family oriented and I am not.

His aunt 86 Female is sickly and in hospital she has been for over 4 years now. My grandfather 76 male died a month ago. This was really hard for me as we were really close. I decided to go back to south africa for the funeral and my husband could not join me . I understood that as my grandfather died suddenly and unexpectedly I flew back the very next day . My husband could not get leave at work as I would be going for three weeks and he was in the middle of a very important business deal. I understood and had no problem with this.

My problem However came from his family. I always thought we were close. But now I am not so sure I have not received a single message from anyone and my birth was on the 8th and I had also not received a single message from any of them.

When his mom's friend died I send them a gift basket but I have not even received a single message from them .

Now he wants to visit his aunt in the hospital and is family, but I am just not in the mood to do so. I feel like I have put in so much effort with them even visit is aunt in the hospital while he was at work yet no one seemed to care that I had just lost my grandfather a few days before my birthday and I honestly don't know how to feel .

I also don't know if I should bring it up and talk to my husband about it and if I do what should I say?.

Just to clear a few things up. I am not mad or hurt about my birth.

I am hurt because I put in a lot of effort with his family. The fact that I am not family oriented but attend every single family event they have every had even once my husband himself has not attended due to work.

We live close by myself 6 minutes. I call them often on the phone just to check in on them . And even visit the aunt in the hospital without my husband knowing I even tae the aunt to the casino.

They know about my grandfather's passing and they know that I was very close with hime and that I went home for the funeral.

I guess I am just hurt that in a time when I need them they aren't there for me yet I am always there for them when they need me

I (22f) moved into a 5 bedroom 4 bathroom house with 4 other people, 2 of which were a couple. The couple got the master bed/bath and from there there were 2 other rooms that had their own attached bath, one however had a jack and jill door to the hallway of the 5th bedroom. For privacy reasons, I will use fake names. Prior to moving in I had expressed wanting one of the larger rooms because I had a lot of furniture and a cat with all of her things. Everyone was fine with this. The roommate we will call Ava, was a later addition to our living situation and never mentioned needing a specific room. When we all started to choose our rooms, I picked the room with the attached jack and jill bathroom because it was the biggest room (other than the master) and another roommate who we can call Gia chose the downstairs bedroom with a bathroom right across from it. That left 2 open rooms, the other room next to the jack and jill bathroom, and another very similar bedroom with its own private attached bath. Ava seemed upset that I chose the room I did as she had also wanted that room. I told her this was my only ask and I had claimed it first. Instead of choosing the room with its own bathroom, she decided she wanted the one next to mine and would walk across the hall to use the bathroom inside what would now be the guestroom. Right before moving in, Ava asked me if we could share my bathroom because the other one was now “far”, I told her I’d prefer not only because there was enough for everyone to have their own and she chose to not take the room with the bathroom. She then insisted that she would have to use the other sink in my bathroom. I told her I didn’t understand why she needed to use my sink when there was another one she could keep all her stuff in and she got annoyed at me and said “Well why do you need two sinks?” to which I replied “Well why do you?” I was ready to let it go and just let her use the sink until she then insisted on needing to store all her stuff in there as well. I had placed my jewelry box on the counter between the two sinks and she pushed it to my side, claiming that I couldn’t put it there because it was her space too. This made me furious, and I told her it was MY bathroom and I should be able to put my stuff anywhere I want, just as she had a whole other bathroom where she could put anything she wanted. The bickering went back and forth for a while before I finally gave up and said she could use it and my counter space as long as I could keep my stuff there. AITA for being angry about sharing a bathroom?

tl;dr - I got angry at my roommate because she wanted to take up my bathroom space when she had her own

Next week I'm going to be flying across the country to visit my parents. The schedule of the flight requires me to wake up at 3am in order to make my plane, and then I'll be dealing with a nearly two hour drive to get to the airport, two planes, a layover, and everything that goes with travel. On top of that, I have a physically labor intensive job and will be working right up until the day before I travel. I'm going to be very tired.

I've expressed this to my parents and let them know that on the first day I'd like to keep our plans relatively chill in case I'd like to lay down for a little while or go to bed early after waking up at 3am and dealing with around 10 hours of travel. I'm visiting them for two weeks and I'm happy to do whatever they'd like for the rest of my visit, which will also include me helping them with a few projects around their house.

Today they've sent an itinerary for the week of my visit (things they'd like to show me, friends they'd like to visit, dipping into neighboring states to check out some sightseeing opportunities). I'm absolutely cool with all of the other days but I noticed that they've booked the entire afternoon of the day I arrive pretty much the minute after I land with plans to sightsee at a few local spots, along with plans for dinner, lunch, and shopping. I reminded them that I'm waking up at 3am and I'm very likely going to be exhausted, and that was the one day I requested we take it easy. They seemed indifferent. There's not even an opportunity for me to lay down for a little while to recover before we go out.

Some potentially relevant details:

- they are letting me stay in their guest room so I don't have to worry about hotels, which is very generous.

- I will not have a vehicle while I'm staying with them. They'll be driving us everywhere.

- they also bought my ticket for my flight in (I did not get to choose the time my flight leaves). I was fully ready to pay when the trip was planned but my father is extremely stubborn and I had to negotiate so he'd at least let me pay for my return flight home. It's just how my dad is. Every time I want to take them out to dinner or an event I have to be sneaky about paying for it before he can. I think he moved states because all of the local waitresses caught on and started sneaking me the check when he wasn't looking (*mostly* a joke).

- I have a very good relationship with my parents, they're just very stubborn and once they have a plan in place they get pretty rigid about it.

Given their generosity with covering so much of the expenses of this trip, is it unreasonable for me to be more firm about having the opportunity to rest after my day of travel? I'm still very willing to do whatever they'd like for the rest of the week.