Hey guys.
So I’ve been doing some tree work for my neighbor. next door.
He’s an older fellow.
Around 85 years old. Bit of a hoarder and peculiar. No kids. Very successful and married for decades.
My 8 year old son will sometimes walk next door to tag along and give a hand.

He wanted to feel useful yesterday, so my neighbor and I gave him the job of organizing piles of rocks by size. They get organized into buckets labelled 0-2 inches, 3-4 inches, etc…then they get poured into the big piles.. They’ve been piling up for the better part of the decade.

While my son was organizing the rocks into buckets, at one point he finds this very smooth and rounded rock. He tells me “ Woah, Dad! This rock is pretty cool. I wish I could have this one”.

I tell him “ why don’t you go ask the neighbor if you can take it?”.
He asks the neighbor and he says “ Oh no nooo just go put that into the pile.

My son says “ Okay..” and that was that. He’s bummed but carries on. We continue on with our tasks until the day is done.
We head home next door.
I think about how nobody in the universe cared about that rock until my kid saw it. Someone who doesn’t actually care about the rock but only hoarding a pile of rocks as hoarders do, told him no. I get a little heated internally. He worked hard.

So, I went next door. Stole the rock from the massive pile of rocks and brought it to my son. I thanked him for being such a good help. He was so happy and excited. I thought he deserved it.
As far as I know, he doesn’t know I stole a rock. I can’t tell if I did the right thing or wrong thing. But it feels right.
Thanks in advanced.

I was recently offered a ticket to a sporting event to see our favorite team play. There were 4 tickets offered to someone and they had one remaining so they offered it to me. These seats are extremely expensive club seats that are owned by the owners of the team. So I told my wife about the offer and told her that there is only one ticket available and that she should go to the event. She said no she won’t go without me. So I said okay then I’ll go. and she lost her mind saying that it’s ridiculous I’d consider that. So I asked her what other option there is and she said “you don’t go, and we watch the game at home I would never go to a game without you”. And I said “so you would rather neither of us go just because we both can’t go”? And she adamantly said yes and is giving me all the grief for considering going since she said she doesn’t want to go. AITA for wanting to take advantage of the ticket?

My grandparents got me a 2021 Jeep Compass Trailhawk for my 16th birthday right after I got my license. It was a previous rental, they bought it in 2023, and I’ve been driving it for about three years.

At first the thing was solid. I liked it, it was reliable, felt good to drive. Then the problems started stacking up. One thing after another. Eventually it got to the point where I was just throwing money at it and it still wasn’t right. Dealership offered me $9500 for it and I took the bag.

Car was in my name, insurance was in my name. I didn’t even start paying the insurance myself until I turned 18 cause I didn’t have a job before that.

Now my grandparents are pissed. My mom’s not happy either. They’re acting like I was supposed to keep it forever and just keep fixing it because it was a “gift.”

I get why they’re mad. They dropped real money on it for me and I know that was a big gesture. I’m not ungrateful for that. But I’m also not about to keep pouring money into a car that’s constantly breaking.

This whole situation is so stupid yet has escalated in ways I never thought it would. To start off, I'm a 22 year old girl. I have a 2 year old daughter (had her at 19). I'm thankful to have had a great support system all around because it hasn't been easy. Anyway, I have a friend who I've known since late high school. We're relatively close and we're always there for each other. She was there for me the entire time I needed her to be and I've always told her how grateful I was. Her birthday was coming up so of course she decided to celebrate it with me and the rest of our friends from high school. I told her I'd make it work but as the day got closer, my daughter got sick. Unfortunately, my mom wasn't available for the later half of the afternoon when my friend's birthday celebration would start and I couldn't be there for the entire first half of it because there would be nobody to look after my child. The plan was that I'd watch my daughter until my mom came home from work and then I'd go to my friend's celebration. I thought that sounded pretty reasonable but not to my friend. She got upset about it and told me I could never stick to a plan (kinda hard when I have a young child and things come up but sure).

I told her I tried my best to come up with a plan but nobody was available all day due to differing schedules or other plans except my mom who could at the very least take care of my daughter afterwards. She somehow managed to turn the situation into something bigger by saying things like "the one day I actually want to do something super exciting, you can't even be there the whole time", "you're probably just going to back out last second", etc. I tried explaining it to her again and she told me I should've been smart enough to not get pregnant so early and how my daughter has done nothing but change things between us. I told her if that's what she thought, she could've a) expressed that to me in a simple conversation and b) I could just stay home since she honestly hurt my feelings with what she said. Like, I felt like total shit.

She told me "I'd expect nothing less of you, go take care of that damn child then" and that's when I told her that she should be grateful that her foster parents even wanted her because nobody else did. She hung up on me after. I didn't end up going because she texted me later saying not to bother and that I ruined her birthday. Of course I immediately felt bad but I apologized and explained that she made me feel bad first especially with the last few things she said. She only saw my message and didn't respond. She didn't block me on anything thankfully but still wouldn't answer me even after I waited a day to ask her how was she was doing, apologize again, and ask if she wanted to talk. I also had a gift for her that I still dropped off and that her dad took but she never texted me back and still hasn't. Am I an asshole for that?

Hi I need some opinions on something, my girlfriend (20) is having a party for her 21st birthday and at this party there’s gonna be weed,drinks, and cigars to kick off full access to these things lol. I’m (21) an active weed smoker and have no issues with 2/3 of those options but I do have a problem with nicotine. Nicotine is way more harmful than weed is and doesn’t have any benefits to it (like alcohol) and easily addictive. So I have asked her if they cannot be at the party and we had a talk about it and she understood and said she’d think about it. A couple days ago she was talking about the party again, and I overheard her talking the cigarettes again. I ignored the rest bc it wasn’t my conversation and didn’t wanna overstep. So later on I asked “Are you really gonna have cigarettes at your party?” She said “i was but won’t now” I told her “I didn’t wanna control her and her exiting party!” She said she understood..

now here’s the issue today she accidentally sent me a screenshot of a box of cigarettes I was confused on why? And she said it was truly nothing I believed her then 2 hours later she explains why her mom and her were talking about the party and talked about what types of cigarettes she wanted at the party.. so she lied to me not upset just disappointed and so I ask again today are you gonna have cigarettes and she said “I really want to but won’t” and so I just tell her “go ahead you can have them at the party”. Now im really confused on am I asking to much or am I right to ask to not?

What’s the verdict?

I’m F18 and I do everything on my laptop. I almost never use my phone. I study a lot, and if I’m not studying, I’m resting or procrastinating, and all of that involves my laptop.

Previously, my brother (M14) would often ask to use my laptop, but I always said no because I was either studying or getting ready to study. Eventually he stopped asking to borrow it at all and now only takes it on unusual occasions when I’m not home.

Today I went out to meet my friend. I left the house at around 4 p.m. and came back in the evening. When I got home, he was using my laptop, and I decided not to take it away from him since he hadn’t had access to it for a while. I slept for a bit, then woke up at around 10 p.m. and couldn’t fall asleep again. I gave up on trying to sleep around 2 a.m. and, since I had nothing else to do, decided to take the laptop back.

He was really upset and said that I never lend him my laptop and he never gets to use it. I argued that he’d had it the whole day and that my phone is broken (I broke it a few days ago.), so I literally had nothing else to use, while he still has his phone. I still took the laptop away, but now I feel guilty about it. He was watching anime and had prepared food for himself too.

I wish he had his own laptop, and I’m planning to get him one when I start working soon. Making a deal to lend him my laptop at specific times sounds like a good idea, but I’m leaving the country in a few days (and I will take the laptop with me), so I think it’s too late for that. The thing is, I feel really lost when I don’t have my laptop, and even when I go to events like sleepovers with my friend or something similar, I take my laptop with me in case I need to study. 

So, AITA?

My fiancé and I have been together for over 9 years. We’re high school sweethearts, and I recently moved from Texas to our hometown to build a life with him. We’re engaged, and I genuinely want to marry him, but lately I’ve been questioning how secure I am in our relationship.

We’re renovating a house his parents own. He has familiarity and security here, while I uprooted my life to move here. I’m contributing my time and energy to making this house a home, but I’m uncertain about our future.

We’ve been having communication issues. When disagreements happen, I try to communicate calmly, but he becomes increasingly agitated instead of slowing down and listening. Eventually, I sometimes snap and yell or curse. I know that’s not okay, but I feel he focuses on my reaction without acknowledging what led up to it. This has become an ongoing concern.

Our history makes this harder. Previously, it took him over a year to acknowledge that he was trying to end our relationship. We eventually went completely no-contact. I still would have wanted to work through things with him then, and I want to work through things now. But I’m scared of investing everything only to find myself starting over.

Recently, he’s discussed buying a house and putting my name on it only after it’s paid off. He’s also been discussing plans for a settlement from an accident. I don’t know what our future will look like or when I’ll have security of my own.

Now, about the couch.

My fiancé paid for a couch that was a birthday and Christmas gift from his mom. I handled the shopping while he was working. Due to renovations, we haven’t picked it up, and there’s still time to return it.

I’m considering returning it and using the refund to pay off my credit card. I need financial breathing room. If things deteriorate, I want options and the ability to move out if necessary. I could buy him another couch later.

I know returning it without his agreement could hurt him, especially because his mom gifted it and he paid for it. He may feel betrayed. But I’m afraid to ask because I expect him to say no, and I’m tired of waiting for certainty while feeling financially vulnerable.

I’m not trying to punish him or end the relationship. I want us to work. I just need to know I can take care of myself if things don’t work out.

I’m torn between protecting my financial security and recognizing that the couch and refund aren’t mine to decide what to do with. My fears don’t justify making this decision, HELP

So to set the stage im a rec league coach for a children's sport and our antagonist is a player on another team.

So we had a game recently where we played another team and this one kid kept harassing my teams kids. (mind you their all 1st and 2nd graders) I heard him call my kids losers, dumb asses, idiots I watched him "emote" in our teams faces and I was getting told every other stop in the action about new things this kid was doing to upset the kids on my team. I tried telling my kids to "not let the bullies win" and to "be the bigger people" but by the end of the game it was nonstop so finally I said " listen guys if he wants to be a punk let him be a punk but we're going to ignore him" loud enough that he and his team heard it. It created a minor amount of drama as a few kids on the other team didn't want to participate in hand shakes with me at the end. I know how I feel about it but im curious where I fall on the spectrum of asshole?

I'm 16m a fnaf fan and I don't really find it scary. When I was young yeah, but I'm older now and it isn't scary to me. I have 2 other siblings my brother is 13, and my sister is only 5. In this I'm only talking about my little sister. I sometimes joke about making her play it, but my mom one time heard and said no because she's too little and it would likely scare her. I just think it would be funny to watch her play it once.

Today when me and my sister got back home from school, I asked my sister if she wanted to play it, she was saying no at first cause it's scary, but I was making her play the first one which is probably the least scary and also the easiest to play. She finally said yes, and I also make her play the first night (literally only Bonnie and BARELY Chica move on that night).

However, she ended up getting super scared and when Bonnie was at the door she got even more scared and when she got killed, she started crying. I felt bad, but I thought it was a little funny. My mom then asks her what's wrong, and when my sister tells her about the game she played.... I get in trouble.

Was it that serious??? Like ok she got scared, but what did I do??? I just wanted to see her play it one time, so I don't get why my mom got mad at me. AITA?

I’m going to be extra careful with wording this post. I’m a 31 year old woman with a toddler. I had a best friend from childhood whose mom was also my mom’s friend from their teen years. We basically grew up together, we called each other Big Sis and Little Sis. When I got married, her behaviour started to slowly change. Nothing alarming at first. She was still around…but I later found out that she betrayed me terribly and she felt zero regret about it once I talked to her. I’m now raising my kid on my own if that tells you anything. She is partially the cause.

I got word from my mom a month and a bit ago that my friend was no longer with us (obviously won’t/can’t go in depth on that). I was beyond shocked and sad. I cried quite a bit, more than I thought I would. I’ve had to deal with a lot of people questioning why I missed her. One day, I got into it with my older cousin. He told me I was weird for mourning a terrible friend. He also told me it would be heartbreaking for my son if he ever grew up and found out that I was upset about someone who helped to ruin the family/stop him from seeing his dad as often as he should. I told him that he was so far from correct about that and to not tell me how to grieve. I also told him that he’ll never understand since he didn’t grow up with her.

However, I caught myself crying last night over what he said. I felt really gross for still mourning her and defending her especially when he told me my son would grow up questioning that and finding out that she was part of the reason he couldn’t see his father every day. Before we parted ways, she was around my son. While he may not remember her, she was still there and spent time with him. I still feel gross now hence the reason I’m writing this. I brought this up to my mom over the phone and she told me she understood both perspectives especially since my friend felt no remorse for her actions. Am I wrong in missing her despite her deeply betraying me?

Hi Reddit. My wife (27f) and I (30m) moved to the area back in January. It's a pretty rural area so we only have 2 close neighbors. Yesterday, 2 of my neighbors kids came over to our front door(which we don't use) and asked my wife if they could play with our dogs. She went out back in our fenced in yard and let the dogs out to play with the boys and stood out there with them. I wasn't home at the time, but when I got home, I made them leave because I had brought dinner home. This was okay of course because it was Sunday, we didn't have anything going on otherwise. Today, Monday, the boys came to our front door again asking to play with the dogs. My wife and I both work from home, and I'm on and off of calls all day and of course when they knocked the dogs went berserk like they usually do. My wife told them we were about to leave, which was true because we went out to eat eventually after we got off work. I have a feeling this is going to become a regular occurrence and honestly I'm pretty annoyed. We are complete strangers to this neighbor. I met him one time several months ago. I have never met these children and I'm not comfortable with them coming and playing with my dogs. If we let them, we have to sit outside with the dogs and basically babysit these children because I'm not leaving strange children alone with my dogs, plus if one of my dogs bites one of these kids, I'll be responsible, because one of our dogs can be a little snappy, not like aggressively but he play bites when he gets excited. If this starts happening frequently, would I be the asshole if I told these kids to stop coming by? Do I tell the parents? How do I avoid these children coming over here without looking like a total dick? My wife and I struggle with anxiety pretty bad and we're both pretty antisocial so I don't like the idea of confronting these parents.

Hi - 40f (S) married to 44m (A) and we have had some problems over the years with my brother 35m (E) & his fiancée 44f (B). Over the 19 yr relationship I have had with my husband my brother has always been like a younger brother to him. He was over or out with us all the time. He was the best uncle to our oldest and he looked up to him. Overtime we have started to grow apart more in the last 3 yrs. Around this time is when my brother got engaged and stop coming around. He didn't call me for a week when he got engaged (not like him). He let his fiancée have her 3 niece and nephews over to spend the night at his house before his own nephew who had been asking him to do that. If we invited them to do something someone she knew always showed up with them or not long after they did so from our prospective it was like she didn't want to be around us. Her nephews and niece always come 1st now for them in our opinion. It always seems like an afterthought when they invite our son to do something its always as a group its never just him.

2 1/2 yrs ago my dad passed and I was a daddy's girl. I talked to him about everything. Since he passed everything has gone down the drain. Around 2 yrs ago we talked them into going to a festival to take our son to his 1st concert all had been on board. Little did I know that if you went with someone to the festival the year before you now planned to do that was again the next year (brothers thought- never told us that was the plan) or we would have not been so pissed when they showed up and refused to sit with us. That is when we truly stopped talking. They still get invited to son's birthday parties and we see them at holiday dinners.

Now my brother asked last Christmas if my son could come over and spend the night and we said not till he did something 1 on 1 with him because they also had planned to invite her 2 nephews & 1 niece. They see them several times a month at family dinners (wonderful - my family has never done that). So we thought it had been since May / June the last time he had seen them so do something 1 on 1 with him then yes he can do the group thing they had planned. All they had to do was take him to a playground not spend money just spend time. They never did.

Now 8 months later last time they have seen him was around the same time frame and they have asked again. My husband and I have said no not till he can spend 1 on 1 time with you.

This seems to be to much for them - I don't know why they will not do the 1 thing we ask and then we will let him do the group event.

AITA for holding to my guns and not letting him do this without some 1 on 1 time 1st ? Or should we give in and let him go ? My mother says this is stupid, childish and I need to get over it but she always takes my brother's side.

Also do we think from the sound of it that his fiancée just doesn't care for my husband and I ?

Thanks!

My roommate moved her mattress into the living room and slept there for 3 days plus left garbage all over the place. I work nights and would come home to her sleeping in the living room (which is connected to the kitchen) and when I would get up before work she would still be there sleeping or watching TV. I’ve been unable to use the living room and have to tiptoe around the kitchen for days. I finally asked if she could move back to her room so I could also use the living room. She said I could’ve used it while she was sleeping there, then got super defensive and played the victim saying “I don’t know what I did wrong,” and took it as a personal attack. To me it seems like common sense to treat the living room, bathroom, and kitchen as common spaces and your bedroom as your personal space. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if I’m justified in asking for access to the spaces I also pay rent for. AITA?

For context, we’re both 37-year-old moms with children around the same age.

While trick-or-treating, I took a cute picture of our kids together and asked if I could post it on Instagram. She said yes, but I posted it to my grid rather than my story. She even liked the post and posted my child to her story.

About eight hours later, she messaged me saying she thought I meant my story, not my grid. She explained that she doesn’t even post her own children on her grid.

I explained that my account is private and followed by friends and family, but understood she wasn’t comfortable with it. I immediately agreed to delete it, which I did within 10–15 minutes. She then asked me to confirm I had deleted it rather than archived it, and I reassured her that I had.
I thought that would be the end of it.

Instead, she sent lengthy messages explaining her background as an educator and social worker, her knowledge of online predators, and her strong beliefs about children being on social media. Then another message comparing herself to a “lioness” when protecting her child.

I politely explained that I understood her concerns, would never intentionally put her child in danger, and would be more mindful going forward.

But she continued sending messages about the dangers of social media, how permanent grid posts are, and how she wasn’t willing to budge on her beliefs.

I eventually told her that I respected her boundaries but felt she was lecturing me about something I had already acknowledged and corrected. I also didn’t appreciate feeling like my judgment as a parent was being questioned.

She sent another lengthy response, which I didn’t respond to. So the next day she sent another message in an ALL CAPS saying my pushback made her uneasy, that she had blocked me everywhere, and that I should block her number too.

I finally responded, “I don’t care, kindly fuck off.”
And blocked her.

I acknowledge that I misunderstood what she meant by permission to post the picture. But I immediately corrected it. My issue is how the communication continued after I had already respected her wishes.

AITA for snapping at her, or did this interaction go way too far?

TL;DR: I misunderstood permission to post a friend’s child on my Instagram grid instead of my story. I immediately deleted it when asked, but she continued lecturing me about social media and my parenting. I eventually snapped and told her to fuck off.

Hello my husband and I just had a disagreement and he told me to "go ask people" if I'm being unreasonable. He thinks it's an asshole thing to ask.

I kinda have misophonia but it's only triggered by a couple of things (hard candy and ice) so it's really uncommon for it to even come up.

One of them is chewing up a big hard candy like werthers. It's like fingernails on a blackboard, it causes a physical response, I can feel it in my ears and neck and teeth, and it's awful. Literally a similar physical response to fingernails on a blackboard, it briefly overrides every other sense.

I wish it didn't, I don't know why it happens, but here we are. He very rarely eats hard candies like this (and it doesn't happen with smaller candies only big ones, like werthers, big peppermint, and big ice cubes he never chews, that's the whole entire list) so it doesn't come up often.

He picked up a bag of werthers and just now I was cleaning and he ate one, when he crunched it up it triggered my fight or flight, like I took a few deep breaths and managed but it's still a situation I'd rather avoid.

The asshole thing— I asked him to warn me if he's going to chew up a hard candy so I can leave the room. He got extremely offended that i would even dare to ask that of him and said I'm totally unreasonable, it's my issue to manage and it's an asshole thing to even ask.

I told him if I knew something like this bothered him, Id give him a heads up first, honestly I wouldn't do it in the room he's in at all but that's just me. So he told me to go ask people, and that's what I'm doing.

Am I an asshole for asking him to warn me if he's going to make an awful noise akin to fingernails on a blackboard so I can leave the room? I'm not asking him to not eat them, just to give me a heads up so I can go somewhere else.

I'm 20 (f) and I have autism, overthinking a lot, is very introverted and have a lot of catastrophic thoughts. With that said my "friend", let's call her Lily,18 (f) doesn't seem to really understand how it is living with that. She doesn't have any diagnosis or anything like that, she is very extroverted and talks a lot. In school Lily talks during lessons, interrupts the teacher and acts like she is the smartest human in the world. Also she doesn't think before she talks and has told people, before I had a chance to open my mouth, that I am autistic, people that I don't even know. I am a year behind in school because of different reasons and that's why I'm a year older than her (she hasn't turned 19 yet so it is one year between us).

We both study criminology and that's why we this lesson talked about terrorism and the horrifying event on Utøya in Oslo 2011. We were watching a movie about the attack and it was, for me, very hard to watch because I couldn't stop thinking, "What if something like this happens here, maybe at this school, and I won't be able to save my younger sister?". Like I said I have a lot of catastrophic thoughts. I left the classroom and broke down crying outside, having a panic attack. As the lesson ends everyone else in my class leaves the classroom and leaves, I remain sitting where I am trying to calm down. Lily then approached me and asked what was wrong I told her that I needed a moment for myself and she left. About 2 minutes later I'm walking by myself on my way to a teacher to talk and calm down, I'm still crying at this moment, and Lily starts following me. She is asking what's wrong and following me around, even when I'm telling her that I need some time alone, she doesn't stop. When I reach the teacher Lily is still following me and now saying "If you don't tell me what's wrong I can't help you". I'm still crying and trying not to have another panic attack and I get so mad at her that I raise my voice and tell her to stop following me, stop talking to me and leave me alone, that she is just making things worse and stressing me out. She says fine, clearly irritated, and walks away. We haven't talked since then and I feel bad for raising my voice and sounding mean, but that's the only thing left to make her go away. AITA for raising my voice and basically telling her to f of?

I feel like I m15 got in trouble in school today for no reason. It wasn't to the extent of the other people I'll be talking about, but I still feel like I was still on the unfair side of things. We have a group project in my science class, and I'm paired up with these 2 other guys. I don't hate them, but they can be a little annoying. They're both close friends and they can be really loud and just talk way too much sometimes. They can be funny at times though.

We were working out in the hall, and they weren't really doing any work, so I knew how this was going to go. They were mostly just goofing off and at one point they did make a joke about "women being hoes" and then it turned into another offensive joke, and they kept going. I did not talk that entire time.

The door was open, so I guess our teacher heard some or all of what happened. She comes and asks what we were talking about. They kind of lie a little bit and try to twist it they kind of asked me to vouch for their lie and I wasn't trying to get on anyone's bad side so I just nodded to make it seem like they were telling the truth, but the teacher told us they knew "we" were lying and tells us that she's going to punish us.

Since it's clear she knew they were lying, I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't even talking, and I was silent the entire time. She tells me I'm still partially guilty for being silent and trying to lie for them. I don't even think the lying wasn't that deep, I feel like teens cover up for each other when it comes to adults all the time lmao. Regardless of if we're close friends or not (tell me I'm wrong). Also, how does being silent make me guilty make it make sense?

Like I said in the beginning, I wasn't harshly or to the extent that the other guys got, but in my opinion her logic isn't adding up. I told my mom (and I wish I didn't) bc omg she went on such a long and stupid lecture (I'm not going over it, but long story short she agrees with my teacher), and she was even more extra than her. AITA?

AITA for asking the police offices who knocked on my house at 10pm at tonight for ID and to see their badge number? They were requesting access through a locked door to a shared passageway which I have a key to.

I said I was happy to help, before I let them though can I see ID, the police woman replied that she was in police uniform & had a police van, I asked to see her badge no as it wasn’t immediately visible to me (they were also stood in the dark).

As I went to grab the key I heard the officer remark to her colleague ‘it’s beggars belief!’ About my questions, to which I replied that I thought they would appreciate some security consciousness.

I was not expecting the police, and about 30 mins before they turned up my neighbour had actually text me to say they were away for a few days hence my hesitation.

They were trying to check on my neighbours son who was still at home but not answering.

So AITA? The police officers comment totally knocked me but surely I’m allowed to ask for verification before I let them onto private property?

For context, my late best friend’s (going to call him Kai) memorial is in a town neither me or my friend (going to call her Amy) live in anymore.

I visited Kai’s memorial in July for the 3 year anniversary of his passing and his birthday which was a 4 days later. He’s the most special person I’ve ever had in my life and was basically a brother.

Amy also happened to be visiting in the same area but for a different reason. Her and I go back since 5th grade and now I’m 24 and she’s 23.

When she found out I was visiting she called me the night before his birthday and we were making plans to hangout in the morning because she wouldn’t be able to during the afternoon. I’ll admit, when we were on the phone I was reading something and I’m not great at multi tasking.

The next day I remembered we made plans but not that it was in the morning. Around 1pm she texted me and was blaming me saying I don’t care or put effort into our friendship and she claimed she’s the only one to ever reach out.

Earlier this year I realized she was never responding to my messages or reels I sent her so I asked her what was up. She felt like I was leaning on her too much and she couldn’t handle it, which I corrected her and said I never thought of it that way and I never thought she was carrying me.

Later in the conversation I apologized many times. Saying that I should’ve payed attention on the phone and it was shitty of me for not listening. Told her I’ve had a lot on my mind considering the whole reason I was visiting in the first place and that it was Trei’s birthday.

She wouldn’t accept my apologies no matter how many times I said it. I asked her if it’s really worth throwing away a friendship of 10+ years and she thought that because I didn’t remember to hit her up in the morning means I didn’t give a shit about her or our friendship.

I tried defending myself saying there was a lot on my mind, but also that she could’ve reached out also. I felt that since she knows what I’m going through she should’ve been able to reach out first but she didn’t.

Towards the end she said something along the lines of “Kai was my friend too and I cared about him a lot so you don’t get to use that shit as an excuse anymore.”

Kai and I met when I was a junior and he was a freshman. We hungout damn near every single day after school and on the weekends, even after I graduated. We did everything together. Watched movies, played games, listened to the same music, went on drives, hiked, stargazed, went to parties, drank, smoked and did psychedelics together lol. My parents even loved him because out of all my friends he was the only one that would say hi every time when walking past them to my room. We even did psychedelics with his dad after he graduated. Those will always be some of my most fond and favorite memories.

She wasn’t nearly as close with him as I was and I don’t feel bad or wrong for saying that. After what she said I cut her off. Am I in the wrong?

I (19F) am in my second year of university and have recently been having issues with my friend, who I'll call Ella (19F). For some background info, Ella and I met last year in our first year of university as we are the same major and had almost all our classes together. A lot of our first year assignments were partner or group work as students got used to the new university work loads. During this time Ella pulled her weight and we worked well together, however towards the end of the school year she got a new job that took up a lot of her time and she started asking me to do a lot more of the work. I think at this point I should've put my foot down but I didn't want to impact our friendship so I was okay with doing a little more work than her.

The bigger issue started over the past couple months. Ella has been repeatedly asking me to "help" her with her assignments in the classes that we share. I say "help" because what she actually does is ask for my finished assignments so she can "figure out where to start" and then she copies almost my entire assignment and turns it in. She has done this to me three times now and she has bragged to me about doing it to another student. On one of the assignments she took from me she got a good mark, and then bragged about it for several minutes to our classmates.

I want to stop letting Ella use my assignments and have started saying no when she asks, however she acts really hurt after and says she's really stressed with work and is spiraling. Ella also brings up other things like family stress which makes me feel even worse for not helping her. When this happens I have offered to try to help her with the assignment and answer her questions but she usually leaves me on read or treats me like I'm mean for not helping her. I'm really upset about this situation and I think it's starting to impact how I feel about our friendship.

So am I the asshole for not helping my friend with her assignments because she just takes my work and turns it in as her own.

I am thinking about locking down my social media so relatives cannot tag me anymore. My aunt keeps adding my name to every family photo she posts, even when I have asked her not to. It is not huge photos or anything private, but it feels like she is deciding for me how much of my life shows up on other peoples feeds. I just want to limit who can label me without having to check every post twice. My cousin says I am overreacting because it is all in the family anyway and that turning off the tags will make my aunt feel shut out. She also worries it will make other relatives think I am hiding something or that I do not want to be included in group pictures anymore. I get that it seems small to them, but it is starting to bother me every time I see a new notification. I am not planning to make a big announcement or unfriend anyone. I would just flip the setting so nobody can tag me without permission. Still, I keep wondering if doing that quietly would come across as cold or dramatic to the rest of the family.

Context: I’m not from the US
I 18F and my ex bf J 18M were together around 2 and a half years and in December of last year found out that I was pregnant (birth control failed). We’re both collage students, live with our parents, and didn’t have a job (it’s common that in our country people don’t work until their finish their education), so at first we thought of terminating, however after counseling and medical exams in an abortion clinic I decided to keep the baby and gave it up for adoption.
We didn’t tell our parents, but my parents found out because their house is my medical adress. My mom decided to tell his parents in January and even though they were shocked and upset really insisted that we had the baby, they’re pro-family (I’m pro choice) and said that the will gave us all the support needed during this time and after the baby was born, we were hesitant, but literally started crying and saying stuff about family and baby and bs.
At first J said he wanted to terminate and was adamant about it, but after the talk with my parents and his. He completely changed his mind and wanted to have and raise the kid.
There were some incidents like: no one on his mom’s side attended my baby shower because she didn’t wanted to invite them (even though they are a really REALLY close family?) and his dad decided to have another baby shower with just his side of the family because he didn’t wanna encounter J‘mom and her family (they’re divorced due to cheating on his part). But nonetheless my relationship with them was ok. His mom was really distant before and during the pregnancy but his dad was real nice with me.
Baby’s now 4 months old and the issue started almost 3 months ago, after i calculated how much we had spent on him and planned to do a reunion with his parents to plan how to share the cost and stuff.
When I invited them to come over they refused and were really weird about it. Turns out that they were uncomfortable because I asked his that to not bring his sick 3yo to meet baby and his aunts to please be in the living room and not in my bedroom. But they never told me that they were mad about it, just stopped coming (which kinda was a relief because the were coming over everyday since baby was brought home) and made some passive aggressive comments. After that i just called J and asked him for half of it (which was around 140 usd). He got really mad cause I didn’t ask him for his permission on some of the purchases (a cream for the baby acne that the pediatrician recommended and a mega pack of diapers).
We started fighting cause those expenses were purchased on my credit card and I paid it with the savings I had from some small jobs that I did in uni. And there were actually much more higher expenses but my parents had cover it (around 600usd). The fight got worse and he said he wouldn’t gave me a penny and that I was an overspender and some bs, but the shit hit the fan when my mom heard that he started name calling me. She said that they were acting like scumbags and he heard it.
After that I rekindled with J but my parents were firm that his family needed to start contributing or I was out of the house, I tried to talk to his parents, his mom just said no and his dad ignored me (he hasn’t talk to me since).
His mom however started messaging me everyday and telling me to hang out with J and his family, I did agree and spend time with them, this cause friction between me and my parents.
One month ago J got a nepo baby job that his father gave him by moving some strings in his work. He earns around (640 usd) monthly and works around 15-20 hours weekly, which is a super privilege where we are from, that job could easily been 42 hours weekly.
After that he gave us 190 dollars a month from his paycheck, but even though I’m grateful it’s not enough nor their fair share.
My parents decided to hired a lawyer to solve the issue after severals attempting to talk with J’s parents, and turns out here when one of the parents it’s absent or insufficient (doesn’t make enough) the custodial parent can sue the grandparents for child support.
I agreed with them, because baby’s monthly expenses goes around 950-970 usd and includes a bunch of things that I wasn’t aware.
I talked to them and decided to go from the softer route in order to preserve my relationship with J and his mom, so we decided to do an extrajudicial conciliation before suing, cause it could be worth it.
J’s parents flatly refused to pay anything (we were asking for them to pay around 470 usd). But they didn’t pay because they don’t have the money, they refused because they said that they weren’t legally obligated to do so, even though they ARE.
I have 2 younger brothers and pause school for a year to take care of the baby, so my parents agreed to pay 70% of my share and I pay 30% with my savings and what I earn doing little jobs for my extended family members. But the hit’s been hard on us, and now we need to portion the food fewer and my brothers stopped doing some extracurriculars. And I don’t think it’s fair that they get to have all the benefits of baby, but none of the responsibilities, then haven’t even offer to babysit him nor communicate with me during ER trips. But want me to cross half the city to go visit them every weekend and stay there and take care of baby alone. (in my home my parents and siblings really helped me, and that has really preserved my mental and physical health)
They even propose I could have gone to live with them, which would be really difficult for me, because I’ll be on my own and expected to cook and clean on top of taking care of baby.
We decline their proposal and they ended the conciliation.
Las week J came over and asked if I was really going to sue them and started to say mean thing about my mom, so I just stand my ground and said that my lawyers and parents know better than my, so I’m gonna follow their advice.
He got furious and broke up with me calling me an asshole among other things.
We had our own couples problems, but this got exacerbate everything.
I’m really torned and need an outside opinion, cause even though I really love him, my family is the one that have been stepping up for my.
So Aita?d
Edit: I’m not gonna give my son up for adoption, yeah, it’s a shitty situation but he’s well taken care of. However I think that it doesn’t mean that his dad or his family can evade their LEGAL responsibility.

Me and my boyfriend were at his place of work on his day off. He was talking to his coworkers and I went up to the bar, the bartender was not there so I just waited. About 10 minutes later my boyfriend came up to me and ended up making my drink for me which honestly better for me anyways it meant I got his discount :)
BUT as he was taking my money the bartender on shift came out from the back and made a joke about bf doing his job for him.
I joked about it taking 2-3 business days to get a drink which upset the bartender i didn’t know it upset him until the manager on shift took my bf to the side and asked if he could get me to apologise for the joke.
I did apologise and meant it because I genuinely did not mean to upset him, however he didn’t wanna hear it I’m half asking if I’m the asshole here cos I really don’t think I am I had no ill intentions and I apologised sincerely when I knew it had upset him.
My bf thinks I’m being an ass and his manager does too. But I’m also asking how to fix this because I don’t want my bfs coworkers to think of me as an asshole.

To make a few things clearer
A. I was the only person at the bar it was not busy
B. The manager was not present at the time I made the joke
C. My boyfriend has said he has his own issues with this guy because of how sensitive he is
D. I regret making the joke now knowing it hurt his feelings but I didn’t think it would be a big deal since he is a bartender, if you’ve ever worked behind a bar. You know the shit you get from people and a joke about a long wait definitely shouldn’t be a priority 🤷🏼‍♀️

Read Edit, important context added.

My sister is annoyed with me because I considered the PS5 mine.

Why? I'm paying for it. She agreed to sell the PS5 Pro to me for $200. I'm $10 off from half. It's slow because I only have a single part time job. I should've communicated I saw it as mine the moment I started payments.

She thought she could use it as much as possible before I finished paying because it would no longer be hers. I reminded her, "The PS5 is already mine, but you can use it whenever."

We had an unrelated dispute beforehand, so she was already annoyed. She started repeating, "I knew you would do this."

I told her, "No? The PS5 is mine the moment I started to pay for it." It's not like I decided to claim it right then because of a small argument.

She didn't pay for the PS5, she got it free from my other sibling. She isn't employed. If I didn't pay her all $200, the PS5 wouldn't be mine, but how is she supposed to pay me back? She doesn't have a history of keeping a job or trying to find a job.

I told her I didn't suddenly "fully claim" the console because of a stupid argument.

Not only that, the PS5 controller is mine. The only reason it's being used for that PS5 Pro is because I thought the console was mine. I thought I was being nice letting her use it for hours on end. Now it has stick drift because she constantly drops it on the hard floor.

Now I'm seen as the asshole because she is "being the bigger person" by telling me: "Fine, then let me delete my accounts off it because it will be better this way."

"Why? I already told you that you can use it whenever."

"Because it's better off this way."

"Do it later then."

She click-clacked away. When it was my brother left in the living room, I said "Since she wants to be like that, I'll just take my controller back." (Which sucks because a different older brother of mine likes to use it after a hard shift of work).

My brother (also unemployed) gave me the side eye and left to make food after turning off his own PS5. Since both him and my sister like playing LEGO all night together, now they can't play together.

AITA? Since she did low ball the price, but she's unemployed and I can't trust she could pay me back if she still had ownership. I felt bad deleting her accounts, but I did it because she asked for it.

She's making me feel like the asshole, with her tone like she's some wise person that knows who's really at fault... Aka, never her. Now she's blasting Christian music like she always does when she feels wronged, like she's fighting back against me with God by her side.

TLDR; I claimed full ownership of a PS5 Pro for only $200 even though it's not fully paid because my sister has no way of paying me back. I also took back my PS5 controller, making it so no one can use it.

Edit: ADDING MORE CONTEXT, we have always done our payments like this. I've sold her things before that she would immediately claim ownership of even though she didn't finish the payment. Same with my brothers and my parents. I think this is very important to add because it's a normal and common things within my family. That's why I was very confused when she did that, because we've done this even with cars. If a TV was sold to another in payments, they would immediately take the TV to their room.

I didn't realize to add this because it's part of how we do things here, and forgot it's not normal for others. As for the "I should've communicated" part, it's because me and my family automatically claim ownership when we do this and expect the other to take the item, we don't verbally say "this is mine now."

This added context won't change a thing even though 80% of everyone's reasoning is now invalid. Yes, I think this important context is valid when making decisions, not whether you think it's weird and still make your decision based off something unrelated to us.

i (19F), moved to uni in late 2025. my brother (21M) went in late 2024. he moved back home and started commuting a few months in, and has been staying at home ever since. After i first went to uni and came back for the summer, i noticed that my brother, despite being home every day with our two parents working, cooking, and doing all the cleaning, has not picked up any household chores. he does not have a job. he does not clean up after himself. he does not help in cleaning the house. my mother cooks for him every day.

we've had a few arguments about it, as i keep telling him to clean up after himself and he insists that he does. but its a daily occurrence for me to walk into the kitchen and see his dirty dishes there. ive seen him literally today walk into the kitchen, leave his dirty bowl after eating my mother's cooking in the sink, and then walking out.

my parents always defend him, and refuse to make him take more responsibility. on the other hand, when i first came back for summer, atleast multiple times a week one of my parents wouldd come to my room and tell me to clean up more after myself, which is fully fair, but so frustrating that they do not extend this to my brother.

its unironically pissing me off, and i complain about him to my friends almost daily. we were never particularly close, as he used to beat me, and still threatens violence against me to this day. i've tried talking to him rationally about it, but he just denies that he doesnt clean.

i think he's the person who's inside the house the most out of everyone. he contributes to 1/3 of the mess, yet maybe contributes like 1/20th (no cleaning, no income, no cooking). ideally i think he should be cooking meals and cleaning more than my mother, who works 8-5 with young children. i cant imagine how tired she is and i personally feel guilty about leaving a mess for her to clean. im bewildered that he doesnt have this same instict

i wanna start bringing his dirty dishes back into his room. i know my parents will be against it and my brother will be mad at me. but would i be an asshole for it ? other things i can do to make him better..?

EDIT: i dont want to mirror him because any mess i make and don’t clean after, it will be my mother who will clean it, and thats not fair on her. i feel very guilty and that my brothers taking advantage of how much she does for him. i dont want to do nothing but if my parents wont budge …. it just sucks that he does sm to increase her work load and so little to decrease it.