Ronova says in the Interlude trailer that the four shades are the "shadows of the heavenly principles." And that Asmoday could only change sides if she "loved her new master more than herself"
To Ronova, they are a part of phanes and if they love someone other than phanes, they must love that person more than themselves. By that logic, if Ronova despises HP, whom she is a part of, she must hate herself first.
It makes sense if we see the life she has lived untill now;
She presumably became the ruler of death 6000~ years ago. Her first job was helping the people in Natlan, even if it meant going against HP's wishes. She must have liked humans enough to do that. She was punished for it.
2000~ years ago, she helped Natlan again with her deal with Xabalanque. She was afraid of how she will be punished for it.
500 years ago, she only did what she was ordered to do. By that point she was following orders without question, wasn't making decisions on her own and was cold and feelingless. She got cussed out for centuries for it.
Current Era, her sisters are a MESS. Teyvat is a MESS. Her parent / boss is afk, 1/4 of the workforce is missing. All of the mid level management has retired. Irminsul burnt down. There is a rampaging descender on the loose and Hyperborea 2.0 is in the making. She's doing the best she can to hold this sinking boat afloat, however unhinged she might be in her methods... AND SHE GETS PUNISHED FOR IT.
Ronova's actions show that she had, at some point, loved humanity and loved hp. That wasn't the case anymore by the time the theatre massacre happened. It was the first time that she felt anything while doing her job in a while because she already must've hated everyone and everything by that point. She got triggered when the traveller called her a shackled tool because the traveller was RIGHT. She was constantly bound by rules and constantly monitored, even with HP asleep.
HP always used her as a tool of control. If she quietly followed orders, she would be hurting the humans she cares for and got hated by them in return. If she strayed a little bit from the rules, even if it was with good intentions, then she got punished.
She lived a terrible life and found death to be release at the end.
Love her or hate her but you gotta feel sorry for the life she led.
