Don't know if this belongs here, I just need a community of people my age who may have had the same experience. Is this due to menopause? I don't know. I'm so embarrassed. I lied to my husband and said I spilled water on myself and the bed. He joked and said yeah you peed yourself. I got a shower. When I got out, he apologized and said if I did pee myself, he was sorry to joke about it and if that made things worse. He offered to help me strip the bed to wash the sheets. I thought about it and my lie and decided to acknowledge the truth by saying I would wash the sheets myself.

I feel really low. I know i can't control what happened. I just feel like a child and an old lady at the same time. And just when I was really easing into this menopause thing. I started HRT about 6 months ago. Started taking care of my skin, losing weight, sleeping better.

Ugh help!

UPDATE: While making my lunch, I had to pee. And then my body said NO YOU HAVE TO GO NOW! Followed by a bit of burning and not feeling "empty." Yup. UTI. Made an appt with online doc. Got a prescription for that. Still have an appt with my OBGYN to discuss my HRT in a few weeks. And ordered a waterproof mattress cover which will be here tomorrow.

I seriously cannot thank you all enough for your kindness this morning. I felt very humiliated and you made me feel better with your stories and solidarity. Sometimes knowing other people have been where you are makes all the difference. 🖤

My body attacks every healthy thing I try to do with it.

Walking gives me GERD but sitting around like a fat, lazy turd gives me zero GERD.

B vitamin complex dried up my vagina completely and I blamed it on perimenopause. Then I stopped taking it and my vagina returned to its plump, juicy self.

I ate a healthy food that was fortified with a supplement I had a reaction to that gave me glue ear, Eustachian tube dysfunction and tinnitus that made me want to end my life.

Flash IV drinks gave me severe panic attacks and made me sick.

And if I don’t take Zyrtec every day, I will lose my mind and have anxiety, depression and panic disorder (I’m glad at least have this and it keeps me mostly sane).

I’m not a good candidate for HRT. I had a very bad reaction to birth control pills when I was younger.

I’m 48F, perimenopausal and my quality of life is zero. Just trying to survive each day while my body takes swings at me and doesn’t want me to be healthy. Doesn’t want me to be anything but dead, I reckon.

I’m exhausted all the time. My muscles ache, my bones hurt, and some days I feel like I have absolutely no energy to do anything.
But it’s not just the physical symptoms. Emotionally, I’m struggling too. I feel depressed, overwhelmed, and find myself crying over the smallest things. Some days I don’t even feel like myself anymore.
Unfortunately, hormone replacement therapy isn’t really an option for me because of my family history of blood clots and because I’ve had a blood clot myself (not a DVT).
I just want to feel normal again. I miss having energy, feeling happy, and being able to get through the day without feeling so overwhelmed.
**Has anyone else experienced this? What has actually helped you get through it, especially if you can’t take hormones?**
I’m feeling pretty lost right now and would really appreciate hearing from anyone who understand. ❤️

So I am 48. Post Menopause and 2 weeks in on HRT. I have also been put on an anti depressant vortioxetine.

I feel I just want to be alone all the time. I can't bear work anymore. I want to live alone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't cry.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is this normal? Will it get better?

Surgical menopause. Was still using an expired brand with mylan brand and was doing ok. 2d ago I applied 3 Mylan patches to equate to my dose that 2 patches previously provided. First day felt off. as today progressed worse and worse hot flashes/neck sweating. I took 1 patch off and noted it had a lot of adhesive gone as if it was dumping E too quickly. Patches don’t look this bad on change day. Anyone else notice this?

Hi, just wondering if anyone can cheer me up with positive stories. I am a couple of years post menopause, I used to be very creative, I would paint, machine embroider, digitise my own designs. Write poetry/songs. Play the keyboard, not that well but it was fun. I was also a exercise addict and loved it. As soon as my periods stopped that was it I went from ideas coming to me constantly to nothing. I am on Hrt and use testosterone gel and all my physical symptoms are gone and I have regained some energy but I want my creativity back. I also don't have the same capacity for exercise, if I try to push myself I pay for it later with a low mood. I don't even know who I am without this part of me. I am scared that I am going to be stuck like this. I never used to ever be bored but now it's like I am a non person. Every so often I have glimmers of feeling normal but it is always short lived.

Good news. Found my strength of patch at telyrx. Thanks to a post on this forum. They are on their way and will be here tomorrow.

QUESTION: I've been without them for 6 days. When I put one on, will it be like starting over or will I get any relief within a few days?

In surgical menopause with h/o PCOS and endometriosis. Ive seen many providers and no one knows what to do for me. Granted most are generally incompetent when it comes to general dosing for surgical menopause and understanding that we may not absorb patches/gels and this requires alternative strategies , not “67 is a good E level post menopause”- NOT when you’re in surgical menopause at 45 w/ high androgens. Tho it seems estrogen patches are contributing to oily face/scalp and hair loss x 2 years. My body seems to hate estradiol.

I was great on birth control x 25+ years until last ovary removed and cant use birth control anymore . Oral E doesn’t improve things.

Can anyone recommend a progressive menopause specialist for complex cases (that hopefully can incorporate integrative medicine such as thyroid, adrenal, GI health?) endocrinologist, gynecologists, “HRT specialists” have not been helpful.

Ive been on HRT for 2 years. Started at 37.5mcg estradot patches (and 100mg progesterone) for hot flushes mostly. Steadily increases to 50 then 75. That seemed to be the sweet spot.

I was still having significant mood/anger/rage issues though so thought maybe to increase to 100mcg to try. My GP obliged (he’s not well versed but open to my direction).

Well about 3 days in a started breakthrough bleeding and my boobs were crazy tender and sensitive. Just really did not feel good and still don’t.

I’m about 6 days in but have already gone back down to 75mcg by cutting 1/4 of the patch, about 2 days ago.

I’m still bleeding a little (a bit in bowl mostly on tp) though and boobs still tender.

I’ll schedule an appointment but until then how worrisome is this? I’m mostly uncomfortable. My mood may have been life circumstance related so my preference is to stay back down at 75mcg.

Second question is I got bumped to 200mg progesterone while in 100mcg estrogen but before when I was using 75mcg patch I was prescribed 100 mg but sometimes took two to help me sleep. What are pros/cons of 100 vs 200mg I should look out for? Maybe 200mg 2-3x week was kinda my sweet spot..

Thank you all!

The HRT struggle is more and more real.

I started patch HRT a few months ago and am now confused — evidently there are different manufacturers for estradiol patches? If the doctor writes for “Climara” (brand name), then we get Mylan or Sandoz etc (generic est patches named after company who manufactures them?

I recently saw a copy of a prescription when my doctor upped my dose and it said “Vyvelle-Dotti…” are these permissible generics?

As an aside, if Mylan or any patch falls off, call their customer service and ask them to provide you with a free box via your pharmacy - did this last week and it was easy and is nice to have a stash.

Was scheduled for a hysteroscopy today (under anesthesia) due to on/off mild spotting and doctor prescribed 400 mcg misoprostol to soften cervix (never gave birth) told me could take orally or vaginally. Google told me vaginally has less sides effects (also told me 400 was a high dose for this). Took it last night and a few hours later holy cramps and insane shivering. You can’t take anything but Tylenol which does nothing for me. Felt like significantly bad menstrual cramps. Arrived at 11 for 1 pm procedure Waited and waited, procedure time came and went then told would be a few hours more. Maybe 4:30. It had been 14 hours no food, 10 hours no water and laying there in pain only to be told would have to reschedule !@&!. Still feeling cramping and off. Wondering if the misoprostol is worth it?

I was diagnosed with POI a few weeks ago, and I just got an IUD and 1mg oral estradiol this past week. Just now I posted on a POI Facebook group and someone commented telling me to immediately contact my doctor and get off of oral estradiol because of blood clot risks. I had heard of it beforehand, and it seemed like more of an uncommon side effect from what I read at the time, but after that FB comment I’m scared 😭 they said I could get a pulmonary embolism, even.

Are blood clots and embolism common enough of a side effect that I should truly be worried??

The divigel generic is out in my region. I am considering switching to the estrogel generic. Does anyone have any experiences with it? Was there an adjustment period for you? I have had a bad time switching from patch to gel, so I tread having to switch medication again.

I am currently on 1.5gr Divigel generic (previously .075 patch), so I guess I need 2-3 pumps with estrogel generic.

Thank you!

I've been struggling for a year with this, off and on. I started on progesterone with a T pellet for a year before adding E. Tried the patch, cut in half for .25mg..instant anxiety and heart palpitations - tried is several times and had the same reaction every time. Cut into 1/4 and did that for a few months. It helped with the night sweats. Pivoted to compounded estradiol and estriol cream..that worked great, with no side effects, it was just expensive. Went off the cream to see if the estradiol pill would work, prescribed by my gyn. Again, instant anxiety and heart palpitations with just .25mg. Is intolerance a thing?

Just to get this out of the way: Yes, I have spoken with my doctor about this. In fact I’ve had an exam and an ultrasound, and I’m scheduled for a d&c a week from tomorrow. And I spoke to the nurse over the phone today just to be sure that where I’m at is still OK.

But holy effing hell this is insane!!! I’ve been bleeding daily for 5.5 months, mostly light spotting until this past month, but since then it’s been getting heavier and heavier, to the point where I’m now bleeding waaaaayyyy more than I ever did when I had periods. I basically never used super tampons when I was menstruating, and for the last week I’ve been using super-plus 3-4 times a day plus backup pads, and I’ve been passing clots that are gradually getting bigger.

Initially the light daily bleeding seemed tied to getting a Mirena IUD in early May. 3.5 weeks ago I got the ultrasound, and that showed the IUD position was fine and I have one small subserosal fibroid.

It’s getting hard just waiting around like this, not knowing what’s happening, what it could mean, and what might come next. I’ve got another week to go before my procedure, and the IUD is definitely coming out for good before the hysteroscopy/d&c.

If you had heavy postmenopausal bleeding, what turned out to be the cause, and how did you resolve it?

I just wanted to share some of my peri journey through the past 1,5 years.

About 1,5 years ago peri hit me like a ton of bricks, didn't even know much about it until then so feels like I took a crash course on it. It is the worst thing to happen to me ever.

I went to a private menopause clinic my manager recommended and they are great but expensive, but to be honest I happily give them my money!

My sex drive left the building, I had panic attacks, anxiety, extreme fatigue and many more symptoms.

My partner has been great and so supportive, he educated himself through out this and understood when I came home from work and could barely speak out of fatigue some nights. In April I went up to 1,5 eastrogen patch twice a week, 200 utrogestan per night, and also testosterone. It help a little with the brain fog but the anxiety and fatigue kept on.

Just 1 month ago I crashed again and could not get out of bed for a week, crippling anxiety and extreme fatigue again..... My partner had to literally walk me to work 1 day as I thought I would faint and has such anxiety, could not go up a set of stairs even, just awful.

I went to my dr again and the bloodwork showed that I had an ok amount of eastrogen etc. But given how bad I was she upped my patch to 180 twice a week which is deemed a high dose, so I now have a combi patch of eastrogen/Progesterone on top of my other 2 patches. It took 1 week and I felt like a new person!!! I even manged to work out (very light and not at all as before, but still!) and I am not crippled by fatigue and have my sex drive back a bit.

I am cautiously optimistic and just wanted to encourage people as even if it shows ok levels of eastrogen you might still need more as when it drops it can completely go away. I really wish no one had to go through this as this is horrible but appreciate this forum of support and sharing of stories so much!

I am just starting HRT and I have to take one pump of estradiol in the morning and 200mg of bio-identical Famenita in the evening. I'm also using a cream for dryness.

I am doing this to help with my lack of sleep, joint aches and hot flashes. I don't feel that bad without all of this and my mood is actually more stable than when I was menstruating. I am trying it to see if it helps with the sleep issue especially but am wary of side effects or increased risks in other areas. Has anyone ever felt that being dependent on all of these meds are not worth it? I'm worried about hair falling out, digestive issues starting up like they did on my period, or skin breaking out. I don't want to end up with more problems than I started with.

Additionally, I travel frequently and only take carryon. How do we bring our doses of the gel with us? The bottle is far too big for carryon. Do you put it into another squeeze bottle or something?

I have been without my estrogen patch for 5 days now. I feel miserable. I have horrible anxiety, hot flashes, sweaty and just feel awful.

Both my pharmacies are out everywhere until November. Tried cost plus and by the time prescription got there, they were out.

Was om the reddit menopause page this morning and happened to click on a link, which recommended trying Telyrx. Apparently, they have it. Had to pay $200 for 3 months and expedited shipping. Fingers crossed it goes through and is approved. I don't care how much it costs.

The good, the bad, the ugly? I’m told they take TriCare. I’ve always paid out of pocket. I’m in disbelief. Thanks.

I started methylphenidate 18mg ER a month ago and in the evenings I attributed my (new to.me) rage/anger to it. I am still mad today, lol. And just fed up. I haven't taken my adhd meds today because I needed a break. I may have blamed them incorrectly because I am still simmering and mad. I can tell something is wrong with me but I have no idea what it is-like I dont feel like myself but why? Im usually laid back, easy going, and now-i don't know. I had an appt for a 2nd opinion on my HRT meds and all is good adding in testosterone but that may take a week or 2.

Anxiety through the roof!! I had been on Divigel estrogen gel, the brand, for a year and was feeling great. The pharmacy recently switched my estrogen gel to Padagis, a generic brand, and my depression and anxiety is back with a vengeance. Depression/anxiety was always my worst menopause symptom and estrogen saved my life!!! I did lose my father a few months ago, so I have reason to feel sad, but this sadness feels like its from the lack of estrogen (its a specific feeling that is very physical) and I'm trying to parse it out. Hard to know what's what. Anyone else not doing well on the generic gel? EDIT: could my estrogen be too high now? I hear that also causes anxiety!! How to know? I do not have any hot flashes. Thank you

My provider search began this past spring when I was informed that my PCP was leaving the practice and I had to find a new one. She had not done any menopause care, which seems typical. All the doctors I had seen for anything would ask all sorts of probing questions about depression, anxiety, alcohol use. Nothing about menopause symptoms, never recommending HRT/MHT. "Oh, more than a year after your last period and you're fine? Good. See you next year!" I wanted to be a good patient so I would be upbeat about everything. I did not know the symptoms.

This sub really opened my eyes. I was shocked to see that all my weird issues for the past 20+ years were standard for perimenopause and menopause. A lot of them I had asked doctors about, but none of them had ever suggested hormones. True this was after the WHI estrogen scare, but you would think they would still have menopause screening questions so women wouldn't think they were going crazy.

I found this sub after seeing a comment about vaginal estradiol creme on another sub that was enlightening! I mean, WHAT??? I had been so miserable about those GSM issues. Since I was between PCPs, I remember thinking that I'd better get some of that before I had to get what would have been a very painful pelvic exam. I spent an absurd amount of money for an online provider to rush it to me, but it was worth it to have immediate relief. Then I picked up some phytoestrogen pills and also felt better. They worked so well that I started eating soy and every other natural phytoestrogen I could find. Hey, I was on to something!

But I kept reading that estradiol was the gold standard. So I booked a visit with an online provider and started on the 2x/week patch. Again, the improvement was almost overnight and definitely life changing. When I finally got to see my new PCP (younger and more aware than the other one), I asked if I could have a higher dose. It was only about a month, so she prescribed me the same low dose in the weekly patch. Better!

However, my libido was still non existent, so I wanted to try testosterone. PCP said I would need to see a gynecologist for that, so off I went to find one. I found one who was recommended by the Menopause Society not too far from me. I had to wait a few more weeks for an appointment, but it was only with the Nurse Practitioner, since "Dr. Wonderful" was booked into next year. I figured this meant she was really that awesome. When I saw the NP and she asked why I was there, I said I wanted to get my MHT dialed in and start on testosterone. I was surprised she had to ask, since I told them this when I scheduled the visit. "Oh, the doctor has to see you for that. I don't know why they had you see me."

Okayyy... mistakes happen. They managed to get me in to see Dr. Wonderful a few weeks after that. She was really not so "wonderful" in person. She seemed really annoyed, standing there with her arms crossed, telling me that the telehealth provider I used started off great but now all they do is sell supplements. I realized that not all doctors have pleasant personalities, so I brushed it off. She did prescribe me the estradiol gel packs (so much better for me than the patch while I could get them). She also let me know that while the GSM vaginal cream treatment for life, that the vasomotor symptoms treatment would have to stop in a few years. (WHAT?) I asked about the libido issues and testosterone. She said I would need a follow up appointment to discuss that after getting blood work that day. "Often libido returns after your estrogen levels stabilize."

I got the lab results and my T levels were low, liver function fine. Nurse called me to say "good news! your lab results are normal and the doctor will discuss testosterone in TWO MONTHS." I wanted to ask her if she realized that I could access the labs and wtf, but again, I try to be a good patient and not cause trouble.

BUT, guess who just blew off our telehealth testosterone talk? I sat there for an hour waiting for her to join the call. Finally got through to the office after several attempts. The admin said she was probably with another patient. "That's why I booked the first visit of the day. What's going on? Is she going to be able to do this at all today?" Nope, I would have to wait another month.

I was annoyed, angry, frustrated. I felt ignored and belittled. The way she stood there with her arms crossed while I sat, then blew off our telehealth visit: hierarchical. The gatekeeper. And I thought, no wonder she was so dismissive of the telehealth provider I used, since they (and all the telehealth providers) are her competition and she is is not even trying to keep up.

I am not shilling for any particular telehealth provider. I am just glad I was able to make a follow up appointment with them and the provider actually showed up. The bar is that F*n low. (She upped my estradiol dose and scheduled a follow up with a testosterone specialist too.) If you have an actual real life menopause specialist, you are so lucky! I'm in a major metropolitan area, but they are still all booked out weeks in advance. I have seen other posts and comments here about providers doing this weird gatekeeping thing. The official position of the Menopause Society is to continue MHT for vasomotor symptoms as long as the patient has the symptoms, in discussion with the doctor. I read the long version to make sure I understood it, but here is the handout: https://menopause.org/wp-content/uploads/default-document-library/MenoNote-Deciding-About-HT-2025.pdf

Honestly, these doctors who talk down to us (literally, in my case) really need to wake up to reality. We have agency.

I found a message on Reddit where somebody said they used a Pfizer card to get a discount on the est ring co-pay that their insurance doesn’t cover. I wanted to pay it forward and hope somebody else can save also. I just saved $200 at the pharmacy. https://www.pfizermenopause.com/savings-card/#estring