Salaam everyone,

I’m posting this because I genuinely need some advice, especially from anyone who has struggled with something similar and managed to overcome it.
I feel like no matter what I try, my struggle with masturbation and pornography keeps getting worse. As a woman, I also feel really alone in this because I rarely hear other women openly talk about struggling with it.

I’ve struggled with masturbation since I was a teenager, and despite trying to stop countless times, I don’t think I’ve ever been able to go a full month without it. Pornography is more recent for me. I never used to watch it at all until around two years ago, when I slowly started. Over time, it has gotten progressively worse, and I’ve found myself watching increasingly extreme things that I know are negatively affecting my mind.

I’ve tried stopping both pornography and masturbation. When I’m busy, I can usually go longer without it, but once I give in to the urge, it feels like I lose sight of everything, what’s right and wrong, and how I know I’ll feel afterwards. Then I’m left with so much guilt and regret. And even worse, sometimes I simply don’t feel anything.

The hardest part is how much it affects my imaan. I end up feeling ashamed and dirty, and sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m a lost cause, even though I know I shouldn’t lose hope in Allah’s mercy.

If anyone have experienced something similar and were able to overcome it, or even significantly improve, I would really appreciate hearing what actually helped you. I genuinely want to change and would appreciate any advice, practical steps, or Islamic reminders that helped you.

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Something I've been thinking about lately...

Why do we sometimes go back to porn even when we don't really want to watch it anymore?

Like, you know you don't enjoy it the way you used to, and part of you genuinely wants to stop, but somehow you still end up going back to it.

I find this really interesting. If you've experienced this, what do you think is the reason behind it?

Is it boredom, stress, habit, or do you think there's something else going on?

it’s happened 3 times so far in the past year or less. I (17) muslim, am really confused and disgusted with myself and when it happens i’ve memorised the dream by heart now and i know when the “exact thing” is going to happen but i can’t wake up before it in order to avoid it. I talked to my mom once about it and i don’t want to do that again cuz it’s pretty awkward talking about such topic with your daughter. i’ve stopped masterbait/ ing in the bathroom cuz i felt bad and unhygienic. i don’t know if i get the same dream every once in while cuz i get less religious or what? i want this to stop and don’t know what to do cuz i have to do the whole showering thing and the whole thing gets me uncomfortable. Please i need help i get uncomfy even when i think about it

Hi everyone, I, unfortunately, been addicted to porn for 2 decades, more than half my life, I’ve tried stopping many times but I keep relapsing, it ruined my life, ruined my career, my social life, but I keep fighting, the longest I ever stopped was 3 weeks then relapse.

I need an accountability partner, someone with good solutions, someone to give ke hope that I can turn my life around and save myself

Thanks in advance