Hey Fellow Dads,

I’ve read a lot of posts on here and felt like adding some things I’ve been struggling with. I’m 38 years old and my wife and I have our first child. She’s 7 months old and I’ve been full time at home with her for the past 4 months.

My wife started Residency in June and has been working 80 hour weeks, 24 hour shifts every other week, and 5 weeks of night shifts. I’ve done a lot of difficult things in my life, but this takes the cake. For 38 years I did what I wanted, moved, travelled, and didn’t have a ton of stress. I knew having a baby would change my life significantly, but this is more than I could have imagined. I also own a small business that I run remotely, so I’ve been juggling that this whole time as well.

Ok now to the point. I’ve always had a temper and I’ve been really focusing on ways to not let that affect me and the way I raise my daughter, but it creeps in. I get frustrated with being here all the time, sleep regression during the day, short naps, and bottle difficulties. I also get extremely bored doing the same things, day in and day out. I try to get out of the house as much as I can to walk our dog or just be in the sun, but at her age there’s always a limit on what I can do and for how long. Then it’s back inside to play, read, or do whatever I can to keep her from fussing.

I constantly think about how this is unfair or that this isn’t the life I saw for myself. But shortly after those thoughts I get extremely guilty. I love my daughter and wouldn’t change a thing, however I just never imagined I’d be a stay at home Dad. I know what I am doing is important and has tremendous value. But for some reason that hasn’t fully sunk in. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Anyone else feel these things?

TL;DR- Stay at home Dad life is isolating, monotonous, and not what I expected. Just saying that makes me feel guilty.

Been the stay at home dad 5 years now. Wife is amazing yet has a temper and some issues with anger. For context we have normal hiccups but sometimes she just pops off and says hurtful things. Puts me down. Calls me dumb and stupid. I had my last straw the other day we were in our home office having breakfast while she was in a zoom meeting. She got frustrated over her phone not working properly. I pointed to the headset near me and said need this? She snapped and said what no shut up just go away and leave me alone. I cried while driving to work the whole way. I know its been rocky and I just wanted to sit with her to see if any connection still exists before I had to leave. I haven't cried in a long time. We have a 5 year old together and We have a opportunity to move to texas and get a house basically free due to family members help. But here is the problem. We had a conversation the other night and we both said we are done. We never see eye to eye. And she has expectations that I try to meet but fail to meet according to her. She says she handles everything and all I do is just stay home and not help. Yet to me I handle a huge load. I do somewhat part time for my mother in law for property management twice a month, I am a college student finishing my AA, PTA board member, Handle sports practices, I also handle meals, shopping, and all the home chores and childcare. But she says I don't see when help is needed and that I am oblivious. She said I am not good about teaching and she feels she is constantly showing me or having to tell me and she didnt get married to raise 2 children. One being me.

Up untill this point I have quite literally killed my former self I used to be super emotional. I learned to stopped taking things so personal that she says. Becoming numb to feelings. Ive learned to adapt so much but as much as i try there is always a something new bothering her. We have stopped having sex because I just cant with someone who is essentially verbally abusive. It can be the slightest thing to tick off my wife and cause a outburst. Its like walking on egg shells. My wife said she has also changed. Before we didnt have big responsibilities and that she was goofy and fun. But now she said with life stressors she isnt the same person she was when we met.

When I bring up she was happier before, she often says things like she always been a bitch that I was just blind to it. She said she found it cute before to teach me about the world and how to be adult but now it is just too much. Sje said she was blind then but should have found someone established in life over the fun person. We basically said we have 6 months to either figure it out or get a divorce.

To vent I am completely numb. Idk what to think. Im just tired and legit done. I am tired of the same complaints the same insults and feeling like I am never enough. I have stood for the sake of my son's happiness. But im having a hard time finding a reason to not get a divorce. Freedom sounds like something terrifying but yet like something comforting. It would take me finding a job, finding a place to live, custody of our son. (We agreed we wouldn't take him from each other we would split it 50/50 and be co parents) please help if anyone had similar things happen.

Apologies if this has been shared before but would be great to connect with other stay at home dads.

MODs please delete this post if inappropriate

The female presumption rule is difficult to justify when a father is the primary caregiver in a shared-parenting arrangement and lives with a common-law partner who is not the child’s parent.
The Canada Child Benefit retains a gender-based presumption that mothers are primarily responsible for childcare. In my case, I share parenting equally with my son’s biological mother, who has lived separately from us for more than eight years. During my parenting weeks, I’m his full-time caregiver; during hers, I work away from home for 70–90 hours. My common-law partner earns more than I do, but she is not my son’s parent or caregiver.
Under section 122.6 of the Income Tax Act and related CRA guidance, a female parent—or, in some blended families, a female common-law partner—may be presumed to be primarily responsible for a child’s care. As a result, my partner had to sign a declaration confirming that I, not she, was responsible for my son’s care. Resolving the issue took four to five months.
Living with me does not make her my son’s legal parent or caregiver, yet the system can assume otherwise and require her to disprove that assumption. The rules also appear to impose different administrative burdens based on sex: a female partner may be presumed responsible for a child who is not hers, while a male partner is not treated the same way.
I’m not arguing that my partner should receive the benefit, that fathers should automatically qualify, or that mothers should receive less support. Eligibility should simply be based on the child’s actual circumstances and evidence of who provides care—not on the assumption that the woman in the household must be the caregiver.
Have other fathers, blended families, or common-law households encountered this rule? How did the CRA handle your situation?

1st child, 7 months, im 34.

anyone else felt like you just can't do it anymore? i felt like that 1 time the other day. had a headache while mother at work and i wasnt feeling good. so you know what i did? i man tf up n quit being a bitc..

N for my last posts, I would like to say, she still going to Jimmy's until fuckin late as shit, ln was about 4am until I little one woke up., maybe she came home cus I gave her a Lil shit like, "must be having a blast" in a text. She said she was gambling.

I get it, we're gamblers n get lost.

I dont care about feedback, give me her perspective or tell me I need to boss up n quit being a fpussy. Or idk, idk how to handle anything apparently.

And other questions you have to answer to yourself and others.

I'm a dad from Kenya, and I'm happy to be part of this community. I've been a stay-at-home dad for a while now

My son's school has just closed for the two-month holiday, and we're planning to spend some time in the village. That got me thinking about doing some village-life content with him.

Life in a Kenyan village can be quite different from what many people are used to. Think outdoor cooking, fetching water, visiting the farm, village walks, and just experiencing the slower pace of life. My son will get to enjoy his holiday, and I thought it might be a fun way to document some of our experiences along the way.

I've noticed some interest in this kind of thing from Daddit. It got me thinking that there might be dads and families in other parts of the world who would enjoy seeing a little piece of everyday life in rural Africa, beyond what they usually see online.

I'm still figuring it all out, but I'm excited about the idea. And honestly, after a few months of unemployment, it's nice to have something positive to look forward to and work on.

Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself and say I'm glad to be here.

I got laid off while my wife was pregnant with our second. Fortunately, my employer was cool enough to keep me on board until my wife gave birth and I was able to take advantage of paid family leave through the state. So for the first 6 months of my second kids life I was able to focus on taking care of my son, which, honestly, I've really enjoyed. I've never loved my career, and feel like I missed out of a lot of fun moments with my first born by shipping her off to daycare every morning.

BUT, while my wife has a good job, it's not quite enough to cover our whole household. So, last month, I started taking on freelance work, thinking I could squeeze some in here and there to bring in an extra few thousand a month. The result has been rough. It's a lot of me working on the computer while I should be giving my son my full attention, and staying up until 12-1am working, which is of course followed be only a few hours of interrupted sleep before I have to start all over again. It's a particular bummer, because the hours of 9:30-11 used to be time I got to focus on the things that actually make me happy, namely music. Which is largely off the table now.

I do have a sitter who can come in and help out during the days. But, I'm reluctant to utilize her, because I'd like the money I bring in to go as far as possible. So until my hand is truly forced, I've been holding off.

Anyway, I'm curious what others' experiences have been balancing fulltime SAH parenting with freelancing. Is it a foolish enterprise, or do I just need a bit more persevenrnce and focus to find that happy medium.

Hey dads,

I'm 35, from Shanghai, China, and I've got a 2-year-old who's pretty much running my life right now lol.

I used to work in tech, but I've been home taking care of my kid for a while now. It's been quite a change, and honestly, some days are harder than my old job.

I've been wanting to meet other dads, especially those staying home with their kids. Just curious how things are going for everyone, what your days look like, and how you manage to find time for yourself.

Does anyone know of any active Discord groups for dads? Would be cool to hang out, chat about parenting, or just talk about random stuff when we get some free time.

English isn't my first language, so bear with me if I sound a little awkward sometimes.

Anyway, glad I found this sub!

The moment I began to realize I needed space, is the moment my inner voice called me a terrible father.

In hindsight, I was going through parental burnout.

You're not broken — just human. Let's talk about mental health and parenting honestly.

For the dads nobody sees wrestling with guilt, failure, and doubt.

Hi everyone! Another SAHD here been trying to make dad friends but it’s hard cause we’re all spread out. I thought maybe making a localized(ish) group might help?

After 35 years in oil and gas I am about to become a stay at home dad to my 13 year old. I am going to support my wife as she takes an executive position at a global company. What advice can someone offer as we take this leap into the unknown. We are financially stable so i don't beleive that should be an issue.

I'm a mom who travels most of the month for work (restaurant operations), so I'm the one leaving. I know it's not a dad-to-dad question, so I hope this is okay.

At work, every shift change has a handoff log so nothing gets dropped. At home, my handoffs are mostly texts from airports. I want to do this better, and you all are the ones on the receiving end.

For those of you holding things down while your partner travels: what makes a handoff actually work for you, and what drives you crazy?

First and foremost let me say I am so grateful the time I get with my 2-year-old daughter. However to say this past year hasn’t been extremely difficult would be a lie.

I was previously a top performer in my role at work and was surrounded by other go getters. I had things to be proud of.

A year now of staying home and wife working full time I feel like I’m disposable. My life has become quiet, slow and dormant.

My wife’s over the last year has exploded with adventure. She’s picked up body building and got into the pro scene. She has friends and is grinding everyday to make that life for herself.

I do my best to give her all she needs to get to where she wants to go but in the process I’m losing myself. I feel I’ve given all that I can with nothing else to give.

This time has been incredibly hard on me mentally. I’m a very social person and that is almost non existent and seeing my wife have it all is hard.

I’m not trying to complain. All I will say is I have a very different opinion on the SAHD thing. I have so many people tell me how lucky I am and how nice it must be.

It’s hard. It’s challenging in a completely different way I think most don’t understand without experiencing it.

I’m lost. I’m lonely. I’m tired.

SAHD with 10, 7, 3 yo kids and a wife. Kids can be picky eaters and other times eat a lot. My wife likes the look of a full fridge and sometimes buys a bit too much.

I myself am frugal and hate to waste food. As a result my lunch at home isn’t just leftovers, it’s like 4-5 food bits of leftovers in a really weird combinations. Best example was yesterday:

1/3 hotdog from Costco my kid didn’t want from Wednesday
A 1/2 bag of instant rice, with the juice of a Costco rotisserie chicken mixed in
A small smoothie consisting of a banana, and two bowls of leftover cereal (life and oatmeal) with milk in them
A small bit of leftover refried beans, Mexican carry out from the weekend
Half a toasted everything bagel with bits of scrambled eggs on top, my wife didn’t eat it
A mandarin orange

I never eat food gone bad and try to eat a reasonable and healthy spread of food. The food can be a bit random but I take pleasure in eating food that would otherwise be thrown out and lead to wasting both resources and money.

Just wondering if other Dads here do this too.

Mom's not home after work again. So idk, being a parent alone isn't easy.