In my 40s, but not giving up on my dreams!

To preface this: the overthinking is wild.

As a millennial, I think I have one too many movies where a wish goes wrong that I have to re-clarify things. Example affirmation - "my spouse and I will not yell at each other anymore."

Which led me to think, but that is our form of communication. If I fast forward 10 years, If we don't yell at each other, does that mean that we stopped communicating and held in all of our frustrations? Lol. Okay, so that means I need to say instead: "My spouse and I do not yell or act snarky to each other when voicing frustrations and lovingly come to each other to solve problems with a solution focused mindset."

One day, I will get to a mindset where I believe that my wishes and affirmations for the future include of those deeper layers of thoughts even when I affirm the most basic sentence.

Technically, I should say, "I am in a mindset where I know that my wishes and affirmations for the future include of deeper layers of thoughts even when I affirm the most basic sentence."

Sigh.

Edit - this is supposed to be funny lol.

Good afternoon Family today is a better day for me. I'm able to get up and stay up which is a major win for me. Because if I go back to sleep I'm a mess when I wake back up. Depressed, lost, no motivation or drive I'm just done. And by the time I start coming through the day is over.

I woke up took my dog out and got some morning time with her my dog. It made me happy because she was happy. She never leaves my side she even knows when I'm down because she always uses her nose to make me put my hand on her head or neck. She is so smart she's a German Shepherd mix she's a hearder shepherd.

I felt I owed her some QT time because when I'm miserable I tend to neglect her with activities. So this morning I found it therapeutic for me as well as her. This morning I realized that pets are amazing to have for sobriety it's like they actually listen and do things that lets you know she understands it's amazing.

I can't believe I was so blind and self absorbed that she my dog was trying her hardest to get me and keep me from getting funky. And I would give her a short pat and shoo her away. I'm so ashamed saying this because how could i have done that to her when knowing she consistently shows up for me.

My she, my dog never gave up on me regardless of how I neglected her when I was all about myself thinking about myself even when I was drinking and drugging she never left me.

Well family moving forward Family I'm going to give her the time she deserves because it will be therapy for me as well.

She was actually keeping me from relapse she is just special she senses my energy.

Thank you for letting me share.

One Day Forward One Day Behind -Shawn

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