the bottomless hole i have in my heart, the hatred I have for myself, the emptiness I feel. I use to think I could somewhat understand why people do it, now I completely understand. Where is the escape for the pain and emptiness? I have drank more in this week than I have in my entire life, just searching for some form of relief that is temporary.

i try to take things one step at a time but all the steps I take are as heavy as an elephant, taking everything in me to go forward towards something that I don’t care about. My future.

before everything happened this month I would have never considered killing myself, now I would think about it. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live. More than anything I want peace and quiet inside my mind. only way I can do that is if I sleep, I can only sleep for 3-4 hours at a time, the rest of that I am just awake and aware of how meaningless this life is and hateful of everything I am.

i dont know what to do.

“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” - very presumptuous. Not all problems are temporary, in fact I’d argue a good chunk of them aren’t. And a permanent solution is exactly what we want, as opposed to what, a temporary one? Who wants a temporary solution? Solutions are supposed to be permanent.

“It always gets better” - again, presumptuous. Things do not always get better. Life isn’t a fairy tale. Sometimes bad shit happens to amazing people and horrible people sit high and dry, just look at the current political landscape for proof of that.

“Suicide is the coward’s way out” - the amount of courage it takes to actually go through with an attempt is a complete contradiction of this statement. People who believe this have no idea what it’s actually like and don’t realize how lucky they are.

“Just go to therapy” - yeah because THAT’S easily accessible and affordable for everyone…

“Call the hotline” - speaking from personal experience: so I can be ghosted and disrespected again? Or from the experience of others I’ve seen: so they can call the police? Confidential my ass.

“It’s extremely selfish” - but expecting someone to continue living in agony for OTHER people isn’t?

“It’s all a part of God’s plan” - not even gonna entertain this bullshit. THERE IS NO GOD. And if he IS real, he’s a real piece of shit.

I'm 26M and i have had enough.

I'm sick and tired of feeling alone and miserable almost 24/7.

medicine doesnt help and when reaching out i just get tossed like a hot potato and sent somewhere else.

Being high functioning i can hold a job and itry to do things that suppose to make you feel better but it doesnt really work.

If my life continues like this i'd rather be dead before i reach my 30's and dread to live long enough to reach my 40's.

That is all.

Can't study can't do anything

No motivation whatsoever so I feel shit about myself and so on...

All I do is mastubate and procrastinate with my work and studying

There is no place in society for a loser like me

Please let a car run over me sometime soon

80k student loan debt no job prospects nothing to look forward to in life. Can’t live without rent to pay my loans can’t get a job. I have nothing to do tomorrow or ever again. Every day I wake up and I can’t even get out of bed. I haven’t gone to class in months because it’s just a waste of time. I’m killing myself soon. There’s no future for me.

I never understood the idea of people believing in personal freedom of everything but when it comes to committing suicide or wanting to die it turns into a dangerous mental state and craziness driving the person, most of that determines on things like religion/personal beliefs/ or simply their attachment to life and hating death.

What i personally believe in that case is that, you can live, and you can die. Death is inevitable and people like to act it’s not, no one asked to be born and no one is obligated to live, if someone truly wants to die and see that nothing that can improve or help their situation and they’re gonna die anyway do we push them into something they truly hate to continue on until you find them dying a horrible death? That’s the problem with society, either they aren’t aware enough of how to deal with this kind of people or simply because they grow up hating suicide as a whole.

Suicide isn't normalized anywhere because people simply don't like to think about it at all. It's shitty. It's "sad" to them, Nobody wants to feel or be "responsible" for someone else's death, which is complete bullshit imo. They put responsibility on themselves automatically and then be moved with it to stop the person who wants to do it “independently” it’s their choice, it’s their “life” as they say, so why mog them or hate them if they didn’t listen?

I (M23) have struggled with depression for most of my life and severe depression for almost 3 years. Dropped out of university my junior year to get help. I felt marginally better and decided to resume university. Little did I know it would all come back.

My family, while empathetic at first, have turned a blind eye toward anything I tell them after I "became better". My "friends" never understood what I was going through and have mostly distanced themselves from me. My now former therapist didn't know what he could do for me.

I've stopped caring about everything. I can't bring myself to attend classes or even take care of myself. I can't even enjoy my hobbies even if it's something as accessible as video games. I'm likely to be kicked out of university next semester and my family who has helped me financially would never forgive me. I've been spending my money on conveniences like doordash just to get myself through days where I feel paralyzed. I drink a few times a week to get my mind off the thought of death.

At this point it feels like it's over. Most of me has accepted that I'll succumb sometime after this semester, but I have moments where I don't want to go. Though with how I've been living I don't think life beyond the next couple months is worth it.

In general, I've become pretty detached from life. I sometimes feel like I was born in the wrong place, in the wrong generation, or maybe at the wrong time altogether.

I'm approaching my late twenties, struggling with severe depression, and it feels like there's this huge, dark cloud hanging over me. I've lost hope in almost everything.

But what hurts me the most is that I've spent most of my life single. I've had very little love and sexual intimacy in my life. I won't say I've never experienced either, but it's been very rare. Sometimes, being alone feels like a curse I've been sentenced to live with, or a sad fate that was somehow written for me. I wouldn't say God is punishing me, because I don't believe God is unjust, but maybe it's some kind of test.

Lately, I've started realizing that emotional and sexual deprivation are major reasons behind my misery and the way I've grown to hate life.

I'm not organizing my thoughts very well, but that's one of the things I appreciate about Reddit. For once, I can be myself instead of wearing a mask and playing a fake version of myself, which is what I feel forced to do in real life and even on social media outside Reddit.

Emotional and sexual deprivation have genuinely messed me up psychologically. There are times when I ask myself why I should work, take care of my health, or even try to improve my life when I'm so lonely. Why am I even alive? What is the point of my existence? Why should I bother getting out of bed in the morning?

I don't think I'm necessarily rejected by women. I just feel like I'm not suited for the dating world as it exists today. I'm not someone who can tolerate mind games, psychological manipulation, or these constant tests people put each other through. To me, they feel like a waste of energy and dignity.

I'm not particularly attractive, but I'm not ugly either. I'd say I'm pretty average. And honestly, I feel like I was born into a generation that has completely lost its way, a generation that has made relationships more complicated, superficial, and exhausting than they need to be.

Where I live, I feel like women are often more attracted to men who know how to manipulate them, play games, and sweet-talk them than they are to men who are simply genuine. Sometimes, it even feels like being a smooth talker or a manipulative guy matters more than physical appearance or money. I'm not saying every woman is like this, but that's the pattern I've come to feel surrounded by, and it's incredibly discouraging when you're someone who values honesty and straightforwardness.

I'm not a bad boy, I'm not some aggressive, street-smart guy who treats women like garbage, and I'm certainly not interested in humiliating women or playing with their feelings just to make myself seem more desirable. But sometimes, it feels like being a decent, honest person puts you at a disadvantage in today's dating culture.

And honestly, I believe that for a man who deeply craves love and intimacy, living without a woman who genuinely loves him, without meaningful emotional connection or a fulfilling sex life, can eventually make life and death feel almost indistinguishable. I'm not talking about sex alone. I'm talking about the feeling of going through life without the intimacy, affection, companionship, and sense of being wanted that you've desperately needed for years. When that part of life feels permanently out of reach, it's hard to see what makes any of the rest of it worthwhile.

I also believe the whole Red Pill movement has done enormous damage to modern relationships. It has encouraged people to see each other as opponents, turned dating into a game of power and manipulation, and made genuine affection seem like a weakness. Instead of bringing people closer together, it feels like it has turned everyone into a more cynical, emotionally guarded version of themselves.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to become someone I'm not just to have a chance at being loved. I don't want to manipulate anyone, play stupid games, or sacrifice my dignity just to experience something that seems to come naturally to so many other people.

I just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm tired of pretending that being alone doesn't hurt me, because the truth is that it hurts more than I can explain.

Note: if you have any intention to humiliate me or make Any ( you're pretend you're nice and any of this nonsense please save it to yourself)

It always gets worse during autumn, but i never get used to it. I have things to distract myself, but i always get lost in a spiral about how none of it matters. I have this constant feeling of dread and anxiety hanging over me, and even if i manage to distract myself from it for a while, it always comes back. I hate it here

I feel so fucking exhausted. Everyday I wake up and I’m taking care of everyone else. My 3 kids who don’t appreciate me or anything I do for them. My 3 fur babies +1 foster. My husband is the only one who cares. I take medication, get out and exercise and I try to do good things but I still feel so depressed. It feels like it’s never going to get better and I’m just tired of feeling this way.

Please give hygiene tipps that actually work but don't require much. I can't bother to brush my teeth or shower.

- my mom thinks im a disappointment but yells at anyone (including me or my dad) who even implies that there’s something mentally wrong with me bc she feels like they’re criticizing her parenting
- My dad just ignores whatever’s happening and has never really parented me
- my parents dont like each other and are only together for money
- my extended family is either poor or extremely abusive and relied on sw or marrying up for money
- im not even a citizen in the country i live in but i cant go back to my home country bc im not literate in the language
- i have no hobbies or skills
- im going to fail all of my classes
- i didnt get into a good college
- I dont have life goals
- i dont really feel love and it physically repulses me to have sex (even if i want to)
- the only person i ever loved left me for another girl
- i developed an ed and a skin disorder and now im deformed and fat
- my family (immediate and extended) and friends encouraged me to get into sw and marry up for money
- i get sexualized for my race and having a large chest
- at the same time everyone infantilizes me and acts like im stupid bc of my height, race and autism
- i cant even keep a job and am scared to even apply
- at my last job my coworkers hated me bc i was so incompetent and the only person who would be nice to me was my manager who was only nice bc he wanted to crack
- I dont have many friends at college
- all of girl friends in my life either use me, make fun of me, or pity me
- i tried to make male friends but the single ones kept trying to date me or have sex with me
- even when i was little my “friends” would hit me and exclude me
- everyone thinks im a slut bc i never said no so my friends wouldnt leave me
- Now i constantly hear slut rumors even from people ive never even interacted with before and nobody even stayed
- im afraid to go outside or even interact with anyone at all
- even when people approach me i dont really know how to be normal so i just resort to humiliating myself instead bc thats how i made my friends laugh

i was born to make others happy but i cant make anyone happy, nor can i make myself happy. it’d be better if i was never born at all, so i couldnt have bothered anyone.

I am so tired. As the days go on I am getting more and more suicidal. I have had depression / this numbness which I can only describe as anhedonia for 5 years. From 16. I am 21 now.

I have tried so many things. All the exercise, the career changes, making friends, what have you. But deep down, I always feel empty. It is getting to the point where I am thinking of taking my own life, I can't imagine living this way forever. It's so scary.
I have a psychotherapist who I do trauma work with, and I am employed which has helped things over the last year.

But I am so deeply lonely, I don't have many friends or hobbies. Even if I did, I literally physically cannot FEEL anything else.

Please please please give me some advice. I am desperate. I have been on fluoxetine for the past few years, with a random GP I have never seen before just increasing it every so often when I go to the doctors and beg for help.

I am sick of nothing working, and I am sick of feeling like nobody understands my case or knows what is going on. I want to know what is going on and what can be done. I don't want to be sick anymore. I used to be such a bubbly, happy girl.

And please don't give me lots of lifestyle advice, I have most likely tried it all. I am sick of working all the time with no reward. My last hope is to pay for a psychiatrist privately, even if it does take most my monthly wage. I live with my mum at least who helps support me. If I can't find help from even a psychiatrist, I don't know what I will do.
I have been scrolling on this feed and seeing everyone's posts and I feel more helpless.

Please, is there anyone out there who can tell me this is not how I will feel forever? That I will smile again? I am sick of feeling nothing. The suicidal thoughts get louder and louder each day. I fear that soon I won't be as able to get help anymore, the high functioning depression is slowly slipping into more hopelessness.

I am finding myself in dangerous situations more and more and not caring what happens to me, feeling nothing. No fear, just apathy. If my family weren’t here, I would be gone by now. I don’t want to die, I just want to get better, but the fight in me is dying.

Please tell me what I can do. Tell me it gets better. I can't take it anymore. In my head I don't see myself living past 1 more year like this. I am so scared: (

I’ve always had depression. I’ve always called it my little blue cloud. Sometimes it’s small and sometimes it’s a storm. I’m currently in a storm and feel so alone. I just want someone to talk to. My husband is so kind but I just don’t honk he really understands. I don’t really have any friends… i just want someone to tell me I’m not crazy.

I must wanted to say I am so proud of all of you for trying so hard, and if anyone needed, or even just wanted to have a chat I am always here for anyone ♥️

I am struggling with anxiety and depression too but it helps me so much to well...help others.

Then I feel less useful, as if my life wasn't meaningless

I feel like life is hard and it’s only getting worse. I’m not allowed to cry. When I was younger I would cry a lot and my parents would always scold me. I still cry a lot, but I do it alone. Today they saw me crying and they got angry. I feel that nothing good happens to me. Every day is a fight that I lose.
How much longer will I have to try again every day and lose?
I’m tired.

İ just realized i gone out like 20 times in the last 365 days( gone out as in to hang out or watch a movie or even walk)

My entire life was and is purposeless, I don't have any hobbies, nothing seems fun, I don't know how to talk to anyone, especially when I don't have any clue about anything because I'm dumb. I don't care about what will happen to me. There was and probably still is this stupid thing about me when I want to do something I want to do, I won't do it, because I'm ashamed of it (I'm talking about simple things like listening to music or cooking). My life is boring, like I said, nothing is fun for me. I don't go out because I probably have enormous social anxiety, I'm stressed almost all the time when I go out. I don't see my future. I'm thinking that I should not be born, I'm just a parasite. Of course I've had thoughts about ending myself, but it is not the way. I'm just an NPC. I could probably tell more, but who cares. So, how can I gain the ability to have fun with my life?

all i do is sleep during the day, and my body feels so weak anymore, im scared it’s something serious or if it’s just my depression. i can’t tell ever. then at night, i have so much trouble sleeping. it’s a cycle i cannot get out of. i’ve been in it since i moved (3 years ago), im so tired all the time and so weak. it doesn’t help i have health anxiety so i constantly fear for my health. even after napping, i always need more naps.

idk what to do anymore. thinking abt my academics js make me go insane bc i feel guilty and dissapointed to myself at the same time. its my last year in shs and here i am fucking depressed and feeling shitty. i wanna finish my shs but i dont think if i can anymore. im on antidepressant and antipsychotic for 1month, and 2weeks absent on school. im rlly worried abt my school. my academic is so affected. but i cant help myself either. I get anxiety overthinking abt my acads. i hate myself.

No friends.

My family hates me. It's like I have a new fight with them everyday. My father wishes I was dead.

I'm too stupid to go to college.

I'm broke.

My job only schedules me twice every week or 2.

I've got horrible OCD, autism and probably ADHD.

I broke my glasses.

I dropped a knife on my foot and now there's a giant scar.

My old reddit account got hacked and deleted a few days ago.

I'm a disgusting goblin of a human being.

My other job I got fired from recently because my manager says I'm a shit employee.

I got horrible scarring in my stomach.

I made a post today that was supposed to be satirical about how my game with women sucks. Basically it was Grace Ashcroft from RE9 representing women and Chunk representing me. Obviously it's a joke. I don't talk to women. And I haven't asked one out since I was in elementary school. But everyone thought it was me confessing to being a stalker or something. They said I'm a Incel. They said I'm a creep. They said I need to touch grass. Saying I should stop making memes. They were mocking me and downvoting me. Saying that it's not funny and I'm a horrible piece of shit person. Maybe they're right. Every second I'm on this planet I waste oxygen that could've gone to someone else. Air. Food. Water. Time. All wasted on me. I didn't earn the right to any of these. I never earned the right to be alive. Over two decades of existence and I'm nothing but a waste of space. My father was right.

I'm sorry if these don't sound like real problems compared to what you guys go through. I hope I don't seem like I'm invalidating anything anyone else on the sub goes through

Hey, I’m currently studying for my degree in psychology at a very prestigious university, one that I’ve been working so hard to get into. For years now, I’ve dedicated my entire life to doing psychology and to help people the way I was once helped. Now that I’ve made it to this point, I’m starting to get lost in why I’m even doing this in the first place. I’m far away from anyone I care about and I wake up each day thinking “I literally have no reason to get out of bed anymore”. I find it hard to believe that I suddenly have no motivation to do anything but rot, I worked so hard for nothing. I’m not failing but it feels like I am, I have no friends and nothing to look forward to anymore. I don’t feel like I’m living, i genuinely feel like I’m just surviving. I’ve only been gone for a little while and already my family and friends are starting to have issues with me, I’ve had fights so frequently that it’s crazy. And to think that I’ll have to deal with that for so much longer kills me. These past few months has been the most depressed I’ve been in years, depressed enough that I’ve thought about suicide a few times. I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore, my bf keeps telling me that it’ll get better but I don’t know if it will.