I used to be such an upbeat guy, you know? I used to be the sort of person who fired people up to keep going and never quit. Even when I was dealing with my own mess, I always found a way to encourage others. And then everything just shattered, and now I am the only one left cleaning up the pieces. It hurts so bad, it hurts like hell.

Ever since 2024, my life has just gone into a tailspin, and everything I tried to build for myself turned to zero. I was born into a poor family and honestly thought I could pull us out of it, but I finally realized I just can't, no matter what I do. I took out a huge loan to buy a house for my mom because we had been renting for the past twenty-something years. My dad didn't really contribute much and has a drinking problem. I had to watch physical abuse all through my childhood, and on top of that, I wasn't even good at school.

Then I got this dream of becoming a musician, but it never really happened because I had to live a double life. One half was the music guy, and the other half was just flipping burgers. Over the years, I picked up some skills on my own and managed to land regular jobs, but my heart was never really in them, so I could never fully commit. I figured I would make it as a musician, and I wasn't being delusional about it either. I was just a normal guy who wanted to earn a living through music so I could finally get out of survival mode. I never wanted a big fancy mansion, a Ferrari, or some supermodel girlfriend, not a single bit of that. I just wanted to escape survival mode while doing what I actually love.

I am thirty-four years old now, and I have seen how the world really works. Pretty privilege is totally real, rich privilege is real, and no matter how hard you try, you just cannot beat raw power or someone with generational wealth. People will use you up, chew you out, and then totally forget about you.

I bought that house for my mom because every single time I looked at her, her eyes were welling up with tears just wishing for a place of her own. I took out a loan and got her the exact house she wanted, which meant I had to sacrifice a whole lot of things. But I thought it would make her happy, and since I still had a job back then, I felt confident enough to ask out the girl I liked. I told her I was completely serious about our future. She understood where I was coming from and didn't yell at me, but she still said no.

Then my best friend of five years started acting super cold toward me right after I got laid off. I had to cut him completely out of my life, and it has been over a year since we last spoke.

Now I have literally zero money left, no friends, and my family just looks at me like a total loser because I am not bringing in any cash anymore. It is not like things were ever great before, oh no. Things have always been pretty rough for me, but I somehow managed to get by. All those years, I just scraped by without any money, without a partner, without any support, or even a single kind word.

I am not trying to play the victim here, no way. I have had to hit the reset button over and over again. Every single job I lost, every single opportunity that slipped through my fingers, and all the people who looked down on me, I always told myself it did not matter because I still had a dream to chase.

But now that dream is completely gone, too, so I honestly do not know what to do. Those dark thoughts are creeping back in, and I might just end it all once and for all.

I dont know what I'm doing, maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Since my last post on this subreddit I've gotten so much worse. I'm almost 100% sure that I had a seizure at some point due to overdoses. I'm a young teenager and I've tried to kill myself 15 times. I'm so tired, my body is worn and my heart cannot take it anymore.

Please end my life universe. Why did you create me? I been depressed for 10-15 years. I have no friends, no partner and been stuck for years. Please end my life God

The first time was about a year and a bit ago were he went missing and we had to find him it was so traumatising but I thought we turned a corner and I got help,

This time however was so fuckinh horrible I walked in on him overdoing there was goodbye letters to me and my sisters he was so out his face on the drugs he was going crazy that’s not my dad there was a empty bottle of vodka and he dosnt even drink he planned it he woke up and was annoyed at us for saving his life he said that he was meant to die he still wants to die he’s in a unit right now but I am truly heartbroken I feel so numb and and weak I took a photo of the letter o keep reading every time I’m in silent or shut my eyes I replay the whole night and just imaging him sitting there writing the letters and how much pain he must be in I have two sisters I’m closer to one but they have there kids I sort of just life with my mum who isn’t with my dad I just feel truly shattered I feel like nothing is gonna help him I feel like I’ve came to terms with the fact I’m gonna lose my dad and I’m just waiting for it to happen.

If I don't want to experience life anymore, isn't it fair to question whether I should be obligated to continue? I'm not talking about whether my future will be better or worse. I'm questioning the expectation that I must keep living simply because I already exist.

The circumstances I'm living in make me feel like I'm constantly struggling just to survive. Sometimes, I feel like I'm not capable of surviving in this society as a human being. The expectations, the pressure, and the reality of life feel like more than I can handle.

I never chose to be born, yet I'm expected to adapt, survive, and keep going regardless of what I experience.

I don’t know if I’m allowed to mention it on this community, but I just wanna vent how exhausted I am.
I used to practice how to hang myself just so that I can make sure when the day comes, I’ll be dead.
I was determined this time after an argument with a family. I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t know where I belong or where to put myself. I wish I have the capability to do things I thought I would be doing by now. But I know to myself that I really tried to live. I tried to make excuses just so I wouldn’t have to hang myself again. Today I had a panic attack and took pills. I wanted to finally finish this pain and also so that I can stop being a burden. Besides, my dad doesn’t care if I live or die. I always feel invincible and hidden like a shadow. No one is curious about me.
I am stupid.
I almost died today actually but the rope slipped and I couldn’t pass out. I wish God would just take me. I’m begging for him to take me.

So I had a failed suicide attempt recently. I tried overdosing on hydroxyzine. My partner called 911 and the worst fire department came to my house. I’m a young adult and the entire thing just feels humiliating and shameful.

My partner was so worried about me and stayed by my side the entire time. But the thing is, I still don’t have much motivation to live. During the time I was out of it, it felt like a warm hug, an embrace that I had been longing for my entire life. I was out of it and had time to just sit with my thoughts.

I didn’t feel regret unlike many other stories. The only thing I felt bad for wasn’t for me, it was for the people around me. My partner who has endured my fanatic behavior, my therapist suspect I have borderline personality. I’m unsure, I have adhd and autism diagnosis.

I attempted three days ago. My partner has not left my side since and has been restless. Im just unsure where to go from here. The hospital was not any help, I’ve had these feelings for as long as I can remember. I have no motivation to do anything.

As well as the chronic sickness/pain I live in without knowing the underlying problem isn’t helping. I’ve been eating so much sugar from just how down I feel. I’m so extremely lost in my life. How do I really get out of it?

At the moment, I do not have someone to hold close to me nor someone to comfort me.

I need to feel a hug, a cuddle or just warmth from someone, but that is not feasible so please drop your tips and tricks on how to feel human warmth alone and by myself, because honestly I have been thinking of letting go.

Please do not focus much on the leaving the world thing, I just need to how to be hugged again, alone and without anyone.

I’m sure you can guess the kind of predicament I am in, so do not say that ‘reach out to someone’ or ‘love yourself and stop hating the face in the mirror’. If that is all that you have to say, I would suggest you to use your valuable time elsewhere.

Just like what the title says, I hope that once I stop breathing I will also stop existing. No more what few happiness and pleasure I could feel, but also no more pain, no more sadness, no more suffering, no more overthinking, no more stupid ideas.

another night crying to myself and thinking about just ending my life. I hate in earth, I hate our society and I hate myself. Nothing ever better, it only gets worst.

I was taking 100mg for idk 2-3 years. Personally, my life is great so a few months ago I decided I wanted to ween off. I wanted to not be dependent on this drug. Over the course of 6-8 weeks I dropped my dose. I made it through the terrible sleep, the stomach issues, the brain zaps. But now, it’s anhedonia all the damn time.

I look around at this sick fucking world we’re stuck in and I don’t know how the hell im supposed to wake up every morning and carry on. I have a sweet old dog to take care of and a wonderful, supportive partner I want to be here for, so I’m not going out anytime soon. But I think about it all the time. How I don’t want to live in this world and how I can barely find any joy in the things that usually keep me going.(reading, writing, games, nature)

My passion is gone, my libido is buried. My soul feels poisoned. I’m doing the work outs. I’m writing. I’m hanging with friends. I’m doing the things that should help me feel alive. But it’s fucking hard to maintain and I want to be a light for the people in my life. Not this heavy burden that pulls them down.

Please, someone tell me there is a light at the end of this. I want to hear from people who have taken meds and come off of them. Have you managed to reclaim your brain and your emotions?

I feel no satisfaction doing anything. I am late diagnost ADHD. I have no friends, no family, and no hope for a future. I was able to graduate but never hold down a steady jobs. Work place politics makes me want to pop out my eyeballs and swallow them. This makes my "attitude" the only relevant thing discussed. I broke my foot and have been in my room for 6 months. 1 person visited then moved away. After years and years of trying, I am now in my late 20s. After healing, I have no prospects in life whatsoever. When I can do things, I do them well. But then it stops....I am unable to accomplish any task and then I cannot get myself to do the simplest things. I cannot even get myself to turn on a video game. When I walk outside, it feels like hyenas are stalking me, waiting on me to slip up or die. My social interactions feel like hostage situations bc I have enough pattern recognition to recognize that I will mess up. I am in debt. People dont like to be around me bc i cannot navigate social situations correctly. I have no family that cares (my brother died of suicide and I see how little everyone treated him before and after too). There just doesnt seem to be any other way then to suffer in shame and then die now or later 💔

I want to end my life.
I’m a single mom to a six-year-old little girl, and I’m raising her all by myself. She recently met her dad for the first time, even though he never showed any interest in her before. Yes, she has me, and she has my family too. But I have no one. I’ve felt unwanted my entire life. Even before I was born, my own mother didn’t want me. She only kept me because it was too late to have an abortion.
Nobody takes me seriously. I can’t find someone to love me, someone to build a life with, and I’m turning 25 in a few days. I’m always dealing with everything on my own. I have no one to share my worries with, no one to lean on when things get hard. There’s no one waiting for me at the end of the day. No place where I truly feel wanted or like I belong.
And please, don’t tell me I’m playing the victim, because I’m not. This is genuinely how my life feels, and I’m tired of pretending otherwise.

Nobody hugs me and tells me it’s going to be okay. Nobody asks if I’m okay and actually wants to hear the answer.
I’ve overcome a serious gambling addiction, and I don’t even miss it anymore. I have a good job, I make good money, and I have an amazing, healthy daughter. I know I have things to be grateful for, and I truly am grateful for her. But despite everything I have, I still feel like something is missing. Something I can’t seem to find no matter how hard I try. For the past three years, I’ve felt nothing but emptiness. I have no real emotional support. And instead of lifting me up, my own parents sometimes tear me down and make me feel like I’m worth absolutely nothing.
I’m tired of having to handle everything on my own. I’m tired of always being the strong one. I’m tired of having nobody to turn to when I’m the one who needs help.
I don’t want money, success, or material things to fill this emptiness. I just want to feel loved. I want someone to care about me, to hold me when I’m not okay, to tell me that I’m going to be alright. I want someone who chooses me, who stays, and who makes me feel like I matter.
I’m so tired of feeling like I have to face this entire world on my own.

I never in my life imagined I would be considering suicide as a way to solve my problems. In my mind, it's the only way that will work.

I never learned how to live. Everything has always felt overwhelming, so I hid from the world and ignored my growing problems, even though I knew where it would lead. I avoided people as much as I could, and I've even lost touch with my own family. Throughout my entire adult life, I've kept telling myself that I'd be able to change. I'm so tired of living like this.

I'm almost 40 now, and over the past year, I've lost what little hope I had left. Because I'm not doing anything at all, even the things I could barely manage before have become too much for me. Ignoring problems comes at a price. I have so many of them now that there's no point in even listing them.

I just don't have the strength anymore to keep simply "existing". I know I've lost.

as the title suggests, i have decided this is what will bring me the most peace. i’m not posting this because i believe someone can stop me, i’m posting this because i am hoping someone can.

i know people say having hope means you’re not ready to give up, but i am. i shouldn’t be though, i have a cat who depends on me for everything and me dying would mean he has to go to a shelter and i don’t want that. but im finding that to even be too little of a reason for me to stay. someone mentally stable will give my baby a better life and i know he deserves that. i cant even be good enough for him.

i finished writing the notes to all the people i love
and i realized there are so many people that i love and that should be enough. but it’s not. even with my love for others, and even with the people i have in my life. i have never in my entire existence felt so alone.

i have been struggling with mental health issues since i was eight years old and all throughout i have heard “it gets better,” “give it a few years and i promise it’ll all be worth it,” “you’re so strong, just keep fighting a little longer.” but when does that “worth” ever come? when does it feel okay to exist.? my everyday is filled with the same thing, i am in a constant cycle of fighting my own brain. when does it end? or is the end a promise that is just meant to keep me here longer?

i thought that moving out was going to save me, i thought leaving my abusive family was what was going to make it better. but it’s still not better. in fact, i think it’s worse. i know im going to get judged for this but the only work i have been able to find is sex work. it started off as camming and that was fine, until i couldn’t do it sober. so i was consistently drunk and then that bled into my personal life, not just my work life, which fucked up my personal life. and now i’m doing irl sex work and i don’t think ive ever hated anything more. tw: rape i have been raped throughout my entire life, and somehow this feels even worse. it feels like i can no longer say no because i don’t want it but because now saying no means i wont be able to pay my rent. it’s fucking destroying me. i was so okay with it but now it just feels like everytime i log on or see them in person, more of me dies. i can’t stand this feeling. and not only that, it’s not even worth the money anymore, i am struggling to make rent every single month, i even had to ask my friend for money this month. and please for the love of peace, do not tell me to try to find another job, bc i have been trying. i have four years of work experience and have applied for upwards of 100 places and only heard back from two and both of them were saying that they’re not in the position to hire right now but when they are, i will hear from them. i’ve called so many places, i’ve went in person, trust i have tried. please know i have tried.

i don’t want to feel like this. the only way i can see peace coming to me, is in death and im okay with that. i just wish my death wouldn’t affect other people. i am just so tired. and i’m tired of being tired. i just want to feel peace. i just want to feel okay. but i can’t do that in life.

also apologies for this being all over the place, im not in the mental state to make this easier for you to read, im sorry.

god is not going to fix this. please do not bring that into either my dms or this post.

I (20) can’t even fantasize a fictional scenario in which someone loves me. Not just romantically either, I mean any kind of love like as friends or as family. It just doesn’t work in my head.

The title, and they tried to sweeten and minimize the impact but the damage was already done. I’ve lost hope for this world. No matter what, my presence is harmful. I was right, that my friends see me as a burden, and nothing more. I now want to cut them off entirely, and delete them from my life…I’ve been depressed since 13, and it hasn’t changed. This isn’t the first time this happened. 3 other friends over the years have done this. Told me that I’m a burden to them in a sweet and polite way. I’m done with this nonsense. At this point, I’m going to be a happy robot to anyone who wants to talk. And they supposedly understand the mental health issues…clearly not. I’m not suicidal, but I’m done with the mental health matters nonsense! Many people don’t care. They are liars who want to feel good about themselves. It’s pure bullshit performance in my book…all I have are video games now. I just wanted to get this out of my head, and be heard and seen…thank you.

Bro imma just be honest. Im a 28 year old black man in America. I've struggled with depression since I was 11 years old and have attempted suicide multiple times. Idk what set it off but this year (at the beginning) I told myself and declared that I would try my hardest to chase my dreams of being a YouTuber and Musician. I've really pushed myself to network and make new friends. Aside from that I've put myself back into the dating pool. I haven't dated in 10 years so I felt like it was time to take my chances again. Oh boy I was wrong. I feel like I never want to date anyone ever anymore with the way I get shot down. I do all the things, I'm courteous, I open doors, I text to make sure you get home safe, I genuinely just want a partner to share life with but our generation is so COOKED. To me it feels like women don't actually want a relationship let alone get married anymore. I say all this to say Im at my wits end. The last lady I was talking to made it apparent that all they wanted me for was for money and buying her drinks. I genuinely am so tired of being alive. Im broke and in debt. I feel like I'm not good enough. Im almost 30 and I don't have anything to show for it. Idk why I thought "oh ya you're ready to get back out there" I just wanna not exist anymore. Love is only for movies, books and anime that shit isn't real. Please prove me wrong. Pray for me that I don't kms. At the very least just know that you're loved and I care.

-Claudio

Hey all, I'm really struggling with hygiene lately. I'm unable to get in the shower (it's been an embarrassingly long time since my last shower) and all I can think about is how bad I must smell. Please offer some help on how to make showering easier.

Part of the problem is that I'm worried my mom or her husband will say something about it when I DO shower (since I don't shower very often) and that'll make me feel disgusted and embarrassed. I also struggle washing my sheets and my clothes so I'll just be gross again by the next day. I haven't been able to brush my teeth either but I floss when I can.

Even when I'm not "feeling" depressed, I still can't get myself to do hygiene routines because it feels too draining. I appreciate any help you guys have to offer, thank you :)

I do wish that I wasn't born, so much suffering could've been avoided including my own... I also feel I am punished many times js bcz I was there or alive... Don't even know wht "live" Means Tbh... Nd yea I consider this a privilege, whining abt whtever is there. I'm conflicted.

ive been depressed for over a decade at this point. from ages 11-23. i did therapy for a little bit, self harmed, exercised, vaped (i quit and am sober now), made friends, drank, journaled, intentionally put myself out there and hung out with people, went outside, etc. ive done everything that i thought would help, regardless of if it was actually helpful or harmful. none of it helped. i hate being alive. every day is genuinely a struggle for me and im always hurting. i cry every day. i keep wishing for a better life. i just want to stop being in pain and crying every day. i want to be happy for once.

I feel like I’m unlovable until my 40s because I’m currently 16 and I’m balding at 16. not even from my edges I wish it was from my edges it’s from my crown and it’s really noticeable and I feel like I can be loved until my 40s, because that’s when you start balding and it’s normal to have a bald spot there and when I reach my 20s people still has hair when I’m in my 30s people still have hair when I’m at my 40s maybe I find some and even if I’m alive for that long I hope.

Sorry about my grammar I was just ranting 😢

usually I can look forward to things but lately no nothing like what good can happen anytime. everything just feels like it’s going down like there isn’t much hope with anything or anyone anymore. what the point of keep getting up doing the same thing over and over again? for what only to be let down again I don’t know I’m just overwhelmed I do all the things try to be grateful journal go for a walk get in nature but it just feels like why??? i usually see the brighter side of things but lately no.

It's this affliction. It's ruining my life and that's the problem. I don't want to die because I don't want to live. I want to die because living in this state is too much to bear. I want to die because I can't handle watching so much life go to waste anymore. I want to love life. And I can't. That's the problem.