r/lds • u/midori-0310 • 9h ago
question Dating Before a Mission as a Young LDS Woman
Lately, I’ve been thinking about something, and I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s perspectives, especially from those who have been in a similar situation.
I haven’t dated or had any romantic connection with anyone in quite a while. Recently, I was with a friend who was getting to know someone, and seeing them connect made me genuinely happy for her. But afterward, it also made me realize how much I miss having that kind of connection myself.
I miss the little things. Having someone who genuinely wants to hear about my day, asks me questions, remembers things I’ve told them, makes time for me, and is curious about the random things that happen in my life. I miss the feeling of being special to someone and having someone who wants to know me beyond the surface level. It’s not necessarily about having a relationship just to say I’m in one. I genuinely miss sharing those little moments with someone and building a connection that feels meaningful.
I’m open to dating and getting to know someone, and I believe in dating with the intention of marriage. I’m not interested in dating just for the sake of having a relationship. Of course, I understand that dating someone doesn’t guarantee you’ll eventually marry them, but I would want the possibility of something serious to be there.
Here’s where things get complicated for me: I’m planning to serve a mission, and I’m certain that’s something I want to do. I’ll probably be leaving in about a year or less, and the mission will last 18 months.
I’m not against starting a relationship before my mission. I would be happy to meet someone, get to know him, and see where things go. However, I don’t know if I would be ready to make a commitment toward marriage before leaving. I wouldn’t want someone to develop serious feelings for me and start envisioning a future together when I can’t promise that I’ll be ready for that next step.
I know that being honest about my plans would be important, and I would never want to hide them from someone I was dating. Still, I worry about the possibility of him developing deeper feelings and wanting to build something serious while I’m not in a position to offer any certainty about our future. What if he doesn’t want to wait? What if 18 months feels too long for him? I wouldn’t want him to feel that he had put his life on hold for me, or that he had missed out on other opportunities because of our relationship.
At the same time, I wonder if I’m overthinking a situation that hasn’t even happened yet. I don’t want to close myself off to the possibility of love just because I have a mission coming up. I want to be able to experience a genuine connection without feeling guilty about the uncertainty of what comes next.
For those of you who have dated before serving a mission, or dated someone who was preparing to leave, how did you approach it? Is it possible to date with the intention of marriage while acknowledging that the timing might not be right for that commitment yet?
I’d especially appreciate hearing about your personal experiences and how you navigated dating before a mission while being honest about your intentions and respecting both people’s feelings.