Intake nurse asked me about my height, weight, age etc. I tried guessing my weight based on the last time I weighed myself over a year ago.

She took me into another room and weighed me. Turns out I'm 10kg heavier. No biggie, I've had health issues and medications slowing my digestion.

Back in the other room, my boyfriend is sitting beside me saying supportive things because I'm terrified of surgery.

She looks up, smacks her lips and goes "Mm WELL, did you tell him about your weight?"

Widening her eyes big looking back and forth from him to me

I don't say anything because I'm just confused as hell

She looks at him again apologetically and then back at me me and smacks her lips again and says slowly

"Well, you were far off... About..." tilting her head waiting for me to finish the sentence

When I don't, she smacks her lips AGAIN and says "Well, 10kg heavier means the anaesthetist wouldn't have been able to put you to sleep!"

All in this disapproving mother tone as if I was trying to hide something from her

My boyfriend just giggled because we play guessing games with numbers all the time. He high-fived me under the table and joked "close enough"

I still don't understand why she felt the need to involve my boyfriend, as if my weight was something shameful I needed to confess to him

She was super cold to us both after that and split is up. When later a nurse found me distressed waiting alone she went back and got him for me because apparently he could've stayed with me the whole time.

Throwaway account.

I’m a woman in my early twenties. I’ve been like this since around middle/high school. It’s the weirdest thing ever; I don’t get aroused very easily, except for certain scenarios.

I could meet the person of my dreams and be invited into bed only to go “eh, rather watch a movie”.

Essentially the scenario goes like this; let’s say I’ve got an essay I need to print, drive to my college and submit in an hour. I don’t have enough of the essay done; the time crunch between me finishing and submitting on time is extremely slim, close to being a late turn in.

That scenario and many like it, get me so soaking wet I cannot focus on anything else. Late to work and my boss is mad? Turned on to the max. Overwhelmed with assignments, don’t know where to start, deadlines looming? I have to take breaks to relieve myself. Friends been waiting on me for a couple minutes to finish getting ready and come out to be picked up? Flushed and jittery.

I have to stress that this issue I have has not ruined my life yet. But it’s come close to getting me in trouble at work, caused me to miss deadlines, have people waiting on me, etc.

It’s not directed at any one person or any one thing. It is specific to if know I’m running out of time and will face negative consequences, I’m further unable to do what needs to be done because my body is wired for sound.

I do not believe this is a porn related issue considering I never consume the material. It makes me feel gross.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Ok I need to tell someone this but didn’t know who so I might just use Reddit for this. my mom is from Jalisco and my abuela never learned english, and my whole life I understood her fine but always answered in english like an idiot. every call was her talking, me going "si abuela si" and then handing the phone back to my mom lol.

Like 3 months ago I got tired of it and actually started trying. tutor once a week, a lot of listening, and reading on this app Unedo in the mornings bc it's short stuff about mexico and not "el niño come manzana"

Anyway two weeks ago I read something about Juan Gabriel and remembered she used to blast his records every sunday when I was little. so today she calls and instead of passing the phone I just asked her about him. in spanish. my heart was pounding.

She went quiet for a sec and then she just started TALKING. seeing him live in Guadalajara in the 80s, my abuelo, songs I had no idea she loved. I didn't get every word but I kept up and asked stuff and made her laugh once with my horrible accent. 20 minutes. no english at all !

right before she hung up she said "ahora si eres mi nieta completa" and I'm not crying you're crying.

Anyway, if you're a heritage speaker who thinks it's too late or too embarrassing to start, it's not. they've been waiting for us to try! Would love to hear if anyone here had a similar experience :))

Last week I found out my cousin killed his wife. Their three kids were home. He hurt himself right after, and now he's in jail charged with murder. He'll probably be in prison for most of the rest of his life, maybe all of it.

I live across the country and only saw that side of the family every few years, so I keep hearing about it through my mom and other relatives, and reading news articles about someone I grew up with. It feels unreal. One minute I'm angry at him, the next I'm heartbroken for her and their kids, and then I catch myself feeling sad for him too, and I don't know if I'm allowed to feel that.

Apparently there were warning signs. He'd been arrested months ago for hurting her and was out on bail with a restraining order. I keep wondering what was going through his head, whether he's thinking about his mom or his kids right now, and whether I'll ever see him again.

His mom, my aunt, turns 74 this weekend. I don't even know what to say to her.

I don't really have a question. I just needed to say it somewhere. If anyone's been through something like this in their family, how did you deal with it?

So many fucking questions about the most inane things, and usually not related to the work we are doing.

Do you know coworker X?

Not really.

In which section does he work?

I don't know. You can check Teams

I think he works in section Y.

Okay.

Do you know when he started?

I said I don't know him, you can ask yourself.

And this won't be the end of the "conversation".

Because of this fucking moron I have to work from home several times a week even though I hate it. He can't read facial cues, he can't take no for an answer and he does not understand that I do not care about the things he cares about.

I really try to be nice because he is a good kid at heart, but I just can't take it anymore. I genuinely am starting to hate his fucking guts

I don’t want to tell my friends about this because it feels like bragging. But my boyfriend of five years is so good at hyping me up and last night it made me cry a bit from feeling so loved and seen.

I am just a regular gal most of the time but every now and then I get asked to speak in public on a topic I know about. I did that last night, just to a really small audience. It had been ages since I’d done an event and I was a bit nervous, but it was so fun and it reminded me how much I love doing it. I felt really good and had a great time.

After I was done my boyfriend found me and it was like he had love hearts floating around his head like a cartoon. He spent the next like… half an hour telling me how smart I am, how talented, how good I was at that, how nice and thoughtful I seemed, how I’m such a good person (?) and how he’s so lucky to be with me. I got really teary and had to ask him (lovingly) to stop.

I don’t know I’ve just never been with someone who is so quick to praise me in this way, and who is so genuine about it. He wasn’t trying to get anything from me for it, he was just saying those things because he meant them and he loves me. Previous boyfriends would have tried to tear me down or make it all about them. He said he’s lucky but really I am the lucky one.

And yes I know the bar for men is in hell!!! But it’s still nice when they clear it.

I’ve always known we’ve been very politically apart, I wasn’t aware it was this much. I feel so disappointed and sad.

I have a 2 year old boy.

He was super healthy, chubby, a perfect baby up until 9 months when he stopped growing, was crying too much, had rash, puffy eyes etc.

It took us about 6 months to understand that we need to remove both gluten and dairy.

He started thriving and getting better.

If he is at home, isolated, under our control and what he eats, it's good. If he goes to kindergarten, grandparents' houses and everywhere, he gets the symptoms.

He doesn't have the genes for celiac, but is totally affected by this.

My husband and I are both very depressed.

All the products in all the markets contain either gluten or milk.

We cook at home, but it's tiring.

My kid won't have a normal childhood, watching others eat cakes, pizzas, pastas, going to restaurants, parties and travelling.

We used to travel a lot with my husband, now we can't go anywhere because we can't eat except a prepared meal at home.

When we go outside, we see all the places our kid won't be able to go to, or will watch others do it but not him.

We want to be an example for him on how to approach this, but how can I be an example when I am devastated.

I thought there was some hope to overcome this, but the pediatrician says it's a forever thing. He says it every time and it's like a reality check.

I can't find hope and can't enjoy his childhood.

He's smaller than all of his peers, skinnier if he is out there in the world.

We can't keep him home forever.

growing up japanese in the UK is not for the weak!

sure japan is like soo popular and aesthetic and anime and kpop blah blah blah.. no.

i live in a small coastal town in the UK (literally 99% of people are white) and 2 days ago they did a protest here

it was a white lives matter protest

they were saying "(town name) is white mans land!" and i happened to be walking past.
then they started calling me slurs and telling me to go back to my country

but i grew up here .. ive been here for 17 years and i've probably been here for longer than them.
i just want to live in peace but i'm scared to go out because of the racism.
im not an illegal immigrant who lives off benefits, i study in london (just came back to visit my family for my break)
and work and pay taxes. but to them im just a benefit loving dog muncher

i wish i could go back but i cant really speak/read/write japanese well, and my mum has agoraphobia so she cant go back to japan with me, and also im just too broke.

i just wish i was white and no one would bat an eye

Thank you if you take the time to read this.

I’m 31. My sister (36) is an addict. Some would say a junkie. Some would say a waste of human flesh. Some would say not worthy of life. Among many other comments on video of her that went viral in all the nearby cities.

This video has triggered an extensive amount of trauma and deep emotional problems for me. I know I’ll never let go of her, I know I will always love her; but the “breakthrough” I had 5 years ago was that it isn’t my fault; nor can you choose how someone lives their life. I feel like my “strong” mind frame, came to a crumble.

I’m aware drinking is my coping mechanism so I went sober for 2 weeks the day I saw this video. Unfortunately, I am drinking again, in fact I’m drinking right now.

My boyfriend says there is deep rooted trauma; he’s not wrong. I just thought I already dealt with it.

When I was a child, I didn’t understand it. I became a teen and realized what was going on. I became a young adult and blamed myself. Acceptance phase came, all I can do is help, make sure she’s loved and safe but I didn’t make the choices for her. Years and years of being there, sometimes she’d ask for cash for “new boots”, I’d say let go buy them. I was vigilant on ensuring I wasn’t enabling the habit; regardless of if I was still being manipulated.

She moved out of a place one time and left everything as is. I was the one to go clean it up. Broken TVs, tinfoil, rotting cans, clear pipes, drugs. I wore a mask and gloves and just wondered “why?”. I stored some of her things in my garage; and only saw her 3-4 times again.

Present time: She was recently in jail for a year. I hadn’t seen her in 1.5 years. I visited every 2 weeks. She got out, I picked her up, the first thing she wanted was for me to drop her off at a go station. I said no, told her she staying at my house, we’re having sister time as planned. I got her all the necessities, even a phone with a plan. We spend the next day together and she asked to get dropped off to meet a friend at a coffee shop. I dropped her off, I met the friend. BOOM MIA, I checked a few shelters in the area she said she was going with no luck.

This was in April and I haven’t seen her since, until this video.

Please note: there has been extensive support; (including proper private rehabs, housing, emotional support etc) for her from our family until about 2022. I don’t blame anyone in my family deciding to completely detach. My dad would still do anything in his power to help, he did many times but has also accepted it’s the way she’s choosing to live. She doesn’t want sobriety.

It snowed tonight, and honestly, it was such a vibe. The sky was dark and moody, the wind was swirling, and I could see snowflakes falling right in front of me while pumping gas. There was something so cozy about it that I immediately pictured myself lighting scented seasonal candles, watching Netflix with the fireplace on, and drinking tea. As much as I love the cozy energy , I know that once the holidays are over, I’ll be counting down the days until spring. It literally snowed in May earlier this year, and winter felt like it would never end. But for now, once Halloween is over, I’m ready for Boney M. and Michael Bublé season. I can smell the perfume at the mall while Christmas shopping and hear the music playing already!!

Yes, there have been good times in these forty years, but on balance, no, I have not had a good time. If reincarnation existed and were optional, it would be vehemently refused. When my time comes -- whenever and however that may manifest -- I'll be relieved to leave it behind, no matter that my personal belief is that nothing awaits me aside from oblivion. Oblivion will surely be much less of a pain in the goddamned ass.

As for those who would be left behind and might even "mourn" me, well, as John Lennon once sang, "And so, dear friends, you'll just have to carry on."

I moved to my small town in 2001, my parents followed in 2006. My mom's health has been in steady decline for the past 5 years and my dad took care of her, so they've been housebound for a few years now. Yet, my dad's phone has been ringing off the hook, both landline and cell. Calls and texts.

In the 26 years that my family (of now 6, 14yo youngest) has lived here, we've had friends stay with us on numerous occasions. From a few days to a few months. We've helped hundreds throughout the years with my serious couponing. Me and my husband both helped with band for six years, from middle all through high school. We've had 18 years of youth cheer combined into 10 between my three girls. I coached/assisted coached 4 years. Photographed homecoming three different years. Hubby was a glorified "water boy" running all the things at home games. I was also active in animal rescue. Me and a sponsor fixed, vaccinated and found places for over 71 cats and kittens in one season. I photographed several senior pics and other important moments through the years. I've had dozens of "adopted" kids throughout the years. Kids that would run up to me and give me a hug and tell me all about their lives. I was the mom that they could come to, no matter what. My door was always open. Kids that are now full fledged adults. Plus through the kids, I knew their parents. I was always there for everybody and anybody. This isn't a pat on the back, this is to show how big my world is, well was, now. I guess.

It's been a week today. She didn't want a big thing, she got cremated and we're going to do a small celebration of life when my dad is ready. There weren't many around at the end, so it'll just be us ...

Still, It's been an entire week... and yet my phone has been absolutely silent. Not a "I'm sorry for your loss". Not a "you'll be in my prayers". Not a single "I'm here for you". Not one.

I've got over 2,100 contacts programmed in my phone from the years... and not a single call. Not even a single text. All the people that I thought were "friends". All the people that I thought cared. Genuinely, cared. Nothing. All the efforts that I poured into people.

I got a few responses to my FB post that she passed. Which I will be forever grateful for. But I guess I just had to get this off my chest. In a place where people I thought cared wouldn't feel guilted into a half assed I'm sorry. All these years I thought that I was making a life, making a home, making FRIENDS... and it's been a week and my phone hasn't went off once. No notifications of a call or even a text.

It's been a week... of nothing but silence.

Today is my birthday and I’m sitting here listening to an old voicemail from my ex-girlfriend.

In the recording, she sounds a little nervous. She laughs awkwardly and admits that she doesn’t usually leave voicemails and hasn’t planned what she’s going to say.

Then she starts telling me how much she loves me.
She says she thinks about me every day, multiple times a day. That she wonders what I’m doing and what kinds of things are making me smile. She tells me I’m adorable. That I’m perfect.

She says she misses kissing my cheek and watching TV together. Just those little, ordinary moments that probably didn’t seem particularly important at the time.

And then she says, “I love you.”

More than once.

What breaks my heart isn’t just what she’s saying. It’s the way she says it. The nervous laughter, the pauses, the tenderness in her voice. She sounds so genuinely happy to be in love with me.

At one point in my life, someone loved me enough to leave a rambling voicemail just because she missed me and wanted me to know how much I meant to her.

And now she’s my ex.

There’s something devastating about hearing someone speak about you with so much affection, knowing that whatever existed between you is now in the past.

It’s like listening to a little piece of a world that doesn’t exist anymore.

I keep thinking about the person I was when she recorded it. Someone who had a girlfriend who thought about him throughout the day. Someone who was missed. Someone who was loved.
I wonder whether I’ll ever experience something like that again.

I think that’s what’s hurting the most today. It’s not simply that I’m single on my birthday. It’s remembering what it felt like to be loved so openly and tenderly and realizing how much I miss that feeling.

I miss having someone who thinks about me when I’m not around. Someone who wants to tell me about her day. Someone who finds happiness in something
as simple as watching tv together.

I know relationships end. I know feelings change. I know the fact that someone loved you once doesn’t mean they’ll love you forever.

But knowing all of that doesn’t make listening to her voice any easier.

Somewhere in that recording is a version of my life where I was somebody’s favorite person.

And today, on my birthday, I wish I could go back there, even if just for a little while.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. I guess I just needed somewhere to put the sadness.
I miss being loved like that.

Hey all life is feeling bleak.

I used to dabble in so many hobbies and loved trying creative things but these past couple years I have no drive left in the tank.

And the root cause of all my feelings is AI at the moment.

It's undoubtedly the next step in technology but holy cow do I wish it never existed.

I'll give some examples -

I used to write a lot of songs with my guitar. And of course we as people love sharing stuff like that with others. But even if it is a truly authentic piece I wrote, there will always be a non zero chance somebody would think I used AI to help me write it :/ and that's a really shitty feeling.

I like writing too. Short stories mainly. A lot of times stuff I thought of in dreams I would write down before I forgot but I stopped doing that too recently. Things like text or writing is so easy to generate at the click of the button.

To add to the writing thing I stopped reading books too. (Especially with new books) I'm terrified at the thought that a random author I find turns out to be a bot and I'm just reading generative text instead of a person's imagination coming alive. How saddening. Seriously.

I tried my hand at coding and always thought a little side project of creating a game would be cool but lets state the obvious, there's not really a point in learning all that jargon when an AI is coding at light speeds. Why even pursue that anymore.

So lately I've been feeling a bit forced but am exploring more real tangible things I can do. Something I can put my mark on. I bought a camera recently and am trying out photography. I also thought of trying to paint.

Are there any other hobbies that people can't just say I possibly AI generated? This just sucks all around.

Yes you, the guy that furtively kicked me twice in the nuts during a Sonic Youth concert in Lisbon in 1993. Why?

At the time, I (16F) had this huge crush on this guy (16M) in my APES class but i never could talk to him. We had completely separate friend groups so I had no reason to interact with him. He was really cute and I was mid so I realized I had no chance.

There was this ships instagram page going around my high school and obviously nobody really cared about it since it was silly, and the ships were genuinely stupid. I made a whole burner account to dm the page and ask them to make a post about us. They did and i pretended to have no idea when my friends sent me the post. There were literally only 2 comments on the post. One was his friend poking fun at him and the other was him asking "who even is that". During APES, i very purposefully talked about the post loudly to my friends, saying I had no clue who the guy was. I made eye contact with him and went "OHMIGOD YOURE THE GUY FROM THE POST". He looked uncomfortable. I tried to converse with him about who it could be but he did NOT engage. There genuinely was no valid reason anyone should think we were together. We never talked again.

The post got buried, we graduated, and never crossed paths again. I'm 19 now and I still think about him sometimes and cringe. I hope he's doing well. I still kinda like him.

Yes, just as the title says, my husband cheated on me on his bachelor party (5 days before the wedding) and I still married him.
Now that my husband and I (both 35 but 25 when we got married) have reached our 10 year wedding anniversary, I feel like I can get this off my chest. I have never told anyone close to us before.
My husband (Alex) and I were 5 days from our wedding when he had a bachelor party with his friends in our hometown. We live in a big city and were extremely broke so I dropped him off at the bars around 4pm. About 4 of his friends from medical school were waiting outside and they greeted eachother and went in. I went back to our apartment and continued to work on wedding preparations. He sent me a picture of him and his friends around 8pm. I texted him back saying I’m glad he’s having fun.
I had to work the next day at my teaching job so I texted him at 10pm saying if he wants me to come pick him up, I’ll need to do so by 11pm since I have to work the next day. He texted back saying his friend’s wife will drop him off since they live close by. I said no problem and got ready for bed.
Around midnight, he comes home wasted. Slurring words and pissed off. He was being very loud and at the time we had a roommate so I reminded him to keep it down for the roommate. He got even more mad at me. Cussing at me and saying he wants to get away from me. I was so confused, last time we texted he seemed happy and fine.
Finally, I get him to just lay down and he fell asleep pretty quickly. Call it woman’s intuition but something just seemed off. I went through his phone. I had never done it before but we both knew eachother’s passwords, we would go on each other’s phones all the time no problem. I looked at his messages and nothing seemed off, checked his camera roll and nothing was weird there either. Something in my stomach told me to check the recently deleted folder picture folder. I looked and there was a deleted screenshot of a conversation with an unsaved number. My heart sank. The conversation went like this:
Him: hey it’s Alex from the bar. Is this Lexie with the cute bangs?
Her: heyyy Alex!!
Him: did you get home ok?
And that was the end of the conversation. I sat must have stared at that screen for hours and hours. I thought of every possible scenario that could have happened the night before. 5 days before we were supposed to get married!
When he woke up the next morning, I calmly asked him if he had anything to tell me and he sighed. I asked if he wanted to call Lexie and see how she was doing. He stared crying and apologizing. He said it was a mistake and swore that nothing happened between the two of them. I didn’t believe him. He told me I can ask him any questions and he will truthfully answer. The thing is, I had been with him since I was 19. He had never lied to me before. We had so much planned, a whole future, a fucking wedding in 5 days!!!
The following days I was numb. I went back and forth between calling it all off and going through with it. We sat down many times and talked about all of the outcomes. I wanted to know every detail and he told me, his story never changed each time. I checked with the wife of Alex’s friend. Sent her a casual “thanks for getting Alex home safe” message and she replied no problem!
We got married. We went on our honeymoon. And then we came back and Alex booked a therapist for us the following day. We have gone to therapy every week for 10 years. I look back on my wedding day with sadness. I see the sadness in my eyes in our wedding photos. I even see the sadness in my husband’s eyes. This is something I have had to live with every day but our relationship has grown from it. Alex has become more open and gentler from this. He has grown into someone that not only he is proud of but I am proud to call my husband. He has never stopped apologizing for it and he has gone above and beyond to make sure I always feel comfortable in our relationship. Over the course of 10 years we have had 3 kids, 3 cats, and 2 dogs. We purchased our first home last year. People say cheaters never change and maybe some day Alex will do it again, but all I know is these last 10 years have brought me the best things I’d ever had. I love my kids and the life I have today, but that doesn’t mean I don’t grieve the person I was before I was betrayed.
Well if anyone reads this, I’m really glad to finally get that off my chest lol

They screwed up their own lives. Why did they have to have children and pass on their own low IQ problems? It's not fair.

My birth parents have never succeeded at any job, been able to make/keep friends, accomplished anything, succeeded in romance, or made it past college. My birth mum only complains about stupid shit when she talks. Things anyone can easily solve. Or she complains about the doctor asking her to exercise because she doesn't want to, or she complains about visitors expecting her to use the bin for her rubbish. I can't have any meaningful or interesting conversation with her.

They have no complicated or advanced hobbies, only very basic things like drawing half-legible pictures on paper 🤦‍♀️ which look like a child scribbling

My birth mum is very pretty but not intelligent at all, and not a kind person either. She embarrasses me by fitting the stereotype trope of the "dumb/mean/bad personality but pretty" person.

My brother stares at tv all day and never says anything, and my sister has never had an original thought.

Following in their footsteps, purely by accident, I failed every job I ever landed, failed every course I every tried, couldn't understand how to make friends until very, very late in life, have trouble understanding the difference between what is mean vs what is nice, most social skills I had to make a very deliberate and conscious effort to learn, I couldn't make it past school since I couldn't understand 95% of the material.

Life feels like it's on Hard Mode for me and Easy Mode for everyone else, and I'm seriously starting to worry about my future work prospects.

(On a side note: My adoption "family" were like painfully obvious evil cartoon villains from my very earliest memories of them. It still took me an unbelievably long time to realize they weren't trustworthy. I feel embarrassed it took me so long, and I still loved them unconditionally and couldn't see through their villain disguises.)

Some people should not be allowed to breed...

Without calling anyone out by name, I've been noticing more and more the insidious fetish undertones in WIEIAD and 'healthy eating' videos. I see it all the time now. A conventionally attractive, thin, young woman announces this is the low call, high protein version of a decadent food that helped her lose XXlbs. She then leans right into the camera and takes a huge bite of the food, making sure to crunch and slurp as loudly as possible, all while moaning and rolling her eyes into the back of her head. She does it two or three times, making sure to get food on her face and/or hands. Then, she'll go on to give you a totally normal and helpful recipe, or modification to a fast food item, while taking about her 'weight loss journey'; normal, relatable things. She'll wrap it all up with one more loud, sloppy, way too big bite of food while staring right into the camera.

This has to be fetish content, right? I mean, it's so blatant. When she makes food in her car, she always pours more sauce on her fingers than she does on her food. She makes sure to capture every loud, aggressive crunch. She takes bites so large her cheeks bulge while she chews and smacks. And she's not the only one just the worst of them that I've seen. So many creators do this, but they didn't start off like that. I wonder at what point do they realise they get a boost of creeper views when they covertly play into the feeder fetish content.

I guess my point is just that it's weird how pervasive the trend is. Plus, I have severe misophonia and I'm sick to death of people crunching loudly directly into microphones. When did people stop closing their mouths when they chew?

Last Friday, I met a girl around my age on a flight. She was sitting next to me, and I spontaneously opened my Notes app and wrote, “Do you want to play tic-tac-toe?” She didn’t understand what I meant at first, so I drew the grid, and we started playing. We also played rock-paper-scissors, and somehow that turned into a conversation that lasted almost the entire two-hour flight.

We talked about pretty much everything: traveling, our studies, jobs, hobbies, food, perfumes, gym, and our lives. She asked me questions too, including follow-up questions about my studies and work.

There was plenty of eye contact, smiling, and laughing. Overall, it felt like a genuinely nice interaction.

She asked for my Instagram herself. We also talked about meeting up, when we’re both back. She suggested a particular place, and I suggested a café related to something we’d discussed. I agreed to her suggestion.

When we parted ways, I told her, “It was lovely to meet you…..,” and she responded with something similar. We waved goodbye, and that was it.

The following evening, I messaged her asking about the trip. She replied back later. Her response seemed friendly and reasonably detailed. I’ve followed with asking about something related to our conversation on plane.

Now it’s been without reply. After a more than a day I’ve technically double texted and invited her out, basically continued what we discussed on plane.

I personally don’t think this connection gonna have any continuity but it felt nice to meet someone new. I wish her best.

I just don’t understand I can create high intensity interactions, where we have a great time for a long time. But somehow it does not have any continuity even as friends. Maybe I’m doing something wrong in the end. I just dunno.

Warning: NSFW, SA

I don't even know how to talk about this but it's really bothering me.

My husband has never done this before, but we came back from a date and both of us had a few drinks. Not drunk, but I feel it's relevant.

Listen, we're both into some kinky things and have dipped into BDSM type play and it's all been consensual. We've tested some extremes but it's never been without a conversation. Until now.

He did this thing while he was inside me and he put his fingers in too. We've done this before and had mixed results because sometimes it hurts me. This time, I told him it was hurting and to stop. He didn't stop, in fact he said "no."

At this point I froze and started crying but choked it back down. I hate this about myself but I've been assaulted before and that's what I've done when that happened. Just breathe and play it cool and it will be over soon. If I show I'm upset it will get worse, I could make him angry. I felt like I was doing the same thing.

He did ask if I really needed him to stop and if it was hurting too bad. He probably would have if I had just said it. In the past we've done things that were painful and kept going because sometimes I like a little pain, but if it got too much I would say stop and he'd stop. We talked about safe words before but we were under the understanding that we didn't need one because "stop" was safe. But I was really taken aback by my "stop" not working the first time this time.

So I just took it until it was over and afterwards he asked me if I enjoyed it and I lied and said I did. He told me "we need a safe word because as you can see tonight I won't always stop when you say stop."

I don't know, I might have been okay with it if we discussed that ahead of time but we didn't and I never agreed to a scene like that. I felt violated and I am especially angry at myself for letting it happen because I went straight into the trauma mindset that I didn't have control anymore so I just fawn.

And I don't know how to bring it up. I don't know if I should. I've been chewing on it for weeks now trying to pretend that I liked it and everything is fine. But I'm not fine I'm scared to even have sex with him again.

Edit: I know I should have spoken up. I shouldn't have said I liked it, I don't know, my head was in a fog and I was terrified of upsetting him. Comments telling me that I should have or that this is what leads to SA are not helpful and make me feel worse. I didn't come here to get lectured about a trauma response I have had since I was a child and "stop" didn't work and crying about it made the abuse worse. I should have spoken up, yes, but my husband shouldn't have put me in this situation in the first place.

Around a month ago, a friend of mine was severely injured in a car accident. He was t-boned directly from the passenger side, the other car going at least 60MPH.

He suffered internal injuries, as well as severe brain injury resulting in emergency craniotomy as well as several others since then.

I’m at a point in my grief where I just want SOMEONE to bring him up. Someone to share his memory with and understand how I feel.

I knew him through my cousin, who is now his ex girlfriend. She cares, but doesn’t want to know anything about the accident. It feels like I’m the only one still caring about this.

We weren’t super close before the accident, we grew out of contact when he and my cousin broke up, but he got me through a really tough time last year.

It seems like nobody but me and his family even care. I’ve told all my friends about this accident, and while they comforted me in the moment not one has taken the time to ask about how I feel, or even god forbid how he feels. I know this is selfish. The world doesn’t revolve around me. But it hurts having friends that don’t even care to notice the state of grief I’m in.

I work 2 jobs now, and not any of my coworkers have noticed this either. I’ve come to work looking like a shell of myself, crying in the backroom, and they all just turn a blind eye. The only one that cares is my mom.

He’s at a point in recovery where he’s been stable, but the closest to communication he’s gotten to is opening his eyes and making expressions. I feel like I’ve lost all hope.

I just want somebody to care, somebody to understand. I can’t help but grieve him like he’s dead. I know he’s not, but it’s hard to see him like this and even have a sliver of hope that he’ll ever be the same again. He had such a future ahead of him. He was only 19.