My wife and I both work from home and sometimes share our home office. When she had left the office one time, I happened to glance over and see a Teams chat between her and a male coworker. I didn't see the whole chat. My wife has been having a difficult time at work with some drama between other coworkers that impacts her work. It looks like he said something to cheer her up and she responded with that. What do you think? Should I bring it up? Dig deeper?

TLDR: My wife sent this to a coworker after he cheered her up: “I need to start and end my days always with you.”

I (45M) and my wife (45F) have been together now for 14 years. Her daughter from previous relationship is now 18 and we have a son who is 13. We live on a farm that we bought two years ago, with two dogs, four horses, a group of chicken and three cats. We both have a full time job outside the farm. We used to be very spontaneous and adventurous together. We used to plan weekends together just the two of us and the sex was great. We used to be able to talk about just about anything and sit up and just talk and laugh together.

Then some years ago (6 to be exact) my wife landed her dream job and ever since then things between us have changed for the worse. I suddenly feel like I am at the bottom on her list of priorities, she seems more distant when we are alone and the sex happens now only once in a while and only when she has been drinking alcohol. We haven’t had sober sex in years. She gets irritated when I try to initiate sex so my only go to is to start drinking and hope that she joins me. She travels alot for work and is usually gone for several days and then she is tired when she gets home and emotionally distant more or less until she has to leave again. We have managed to get away just the two of us for a weekend a couple of times in the past three years. These weekends have been very different from what we used to do as she is tired and just wants to relax or go window shopping. Every time she does sit down to talk, she only talks about things that are happening at work and seems to be barely interested in what I have to say.

Don’t get me wrong, we have a fantastic life and I am really not going to even think about divorce. However, I have had the opportunity to cheat on her several times in the past year and felt terrible about it because I actually was tempted. It just felt so good when someone showed me interest and made me feel attractive.

We have talked about this several times and she always agrees that this has to change. Things get better for a week or two and then we are right back to where we were before. I have asked her what I can do to help her and her only answer is that I could help out more with the indoor chores when she is home. I really do try my best to cook and clean and do the laundry and she does recognise that when we talk about this. I always make sure that she comes home to a clean house when she has been away. I have bought and read countless of relationship books and I do try my best to be the best husband I can be and I really do try to support her in everything she does. I have asked her to read ine of the relationship books, talk to a therapist and even given her simple romantic challenges. She always likes the idea but then nothing happens. I really do think she still loves me and I really don’t think she is interested in divorce. I am just not shure anymore if she lives me like a partner or like a friend. I really do love her and I really do not want to get a divorce.

TLDR: I just can’t shake the feeling that my wife has completely lost interest in me and our relationship. I feel more and more lonely and neglected.
Do you have any advice for me on what I can do in this situation?

TLDR: My boyfriend is caring and affectionate, but after 9 months I still don't feel deeply known or emotionally cherished, especially when we're apart. I've communicated my needs, but haven't seen meaningful change, and I'm struggling to distinguish my own relationship anxiety from a fundamental incompatibility. I love him and don't think he's a bad partner, but I don't want to stay in a relationship where I continue to feel emotionally alone.

I've (27F) been with my boyfriend (27M) for 9 months. He's caring in practical ways, affectionate, and says he loves me. We have good moments and genuine chemistry, but I often feel emotionally alone in the relationship, and I'm struggling to figure out whether this is something we can improve or a fundamental incompatibility.

The main issue: I don't feel deeply known.

I want a partner who is genuinely curious about my inner world: how I think, what I feel, what matters to me, and why I experience things the way I do. I want someone who asks follow-up questions, remembers things I've shared, and actively tries to understand me.

Instead, I often feel like our conversations revolve around other people or external events rather than us getting to know each other on a deeper level. I feel like I'm the one trying to create emotional intimacy, initiate conversations about feelings, and make space for vulnerability. When I bring up emotional concerns, I sometimes feel he responds by defending his intentions rather than becoming curious about what I'm experiencing.

For example, when I recently asked him for some company because I was having a difficult day, he responded along the lines of asking why, as though I was worried he would disappear. But I wasn't asking for reassurance that he wouldn't leave; I simply wanted to spend time with him. I wanted him to understand the request rather than interpret it through a different lens.

I also struggle to feel cherished when we're apart.

When we're together, we can have fun and feel close. But when we're apart, I don't consistently feel that I'm on his mind or that he's actively maintaining our emotional connection. I often feel more desired physically than understood emotionally. I want to feel that my partner wants to know me as a person, not just enjoys having me around.

I've tried to communicate this directly. I recently wrote him a vulnerable letter explaining that I don't feel deeply understood, cherished, or emotionally secure in our relationship. I explained that I want more emotional depth and a stronger sense of connection, not perfection or constant attention.

The difficulty is that communicating hasn't led to meaningful change.

I don't expect him to read my mind, and I understand that people express love differently. But I don't want to spend the relationship repeatedly explaining what makes me feel connected, initiating every difficult conversation, and managing the process of building emotional intimacy.

One thing I'm trying to understand is whether someone can genuinely love you but not naturally have much curiosity about your inner world, and whether that can change through effort. I don't want to mistake a difference in communication styles for a lack of love, but I also don't want to keep explaining a need that isn't being met.

I'm also questioning my own role in this.

I know I have anxiety around emotional connection. Sometimes, when we're apart, I struggle to feel the connection that I can feel when we're together. I don't want to make my boyfriend responsible for regulating every emotion I experience, or interpret every imperfect response as evidence that he doesn't care.

At the same time, I've experienced relationships where I felt genuinely cherished and understood. I know what it feels like when someone wants to understand how my mind works and makes me feel emotionally seen. That makes it difficult to tell whether I'm dealing with anxiety that I need to work through, or whether this relationship genuinely lacks something important to me.

The reason I'm struggling to decide what to do is that I love him.

He has good qualities, treats me well in practical ways, and we have genuinely happy moments. I don't think he's a bad partner, and I don't want to portray him unfairly. But I worry that if I stay, I'll spend years feeling that I'm loved in principle without feeling deeply connected in practice.

I'm not looking for a partner who meets every need perfectly. I'm trying to understand what a reasonable baseline for emotional intimacy looks like in a healthy relationship, and whether this is something that can be developed when two people seem to approach connection differently.

My questions are:

• Is it realistic to expect a partner to show active curiosity about your inner world and want to understand you deeply?
• Have you been in a relationship where one person wanted more emotional intimacy than the other? Did things improve, and what actually changed?
• How do you distinguish relationship anxiety from a genuine incompatibility in emotional needs?
• If you've communicated your needs clearly and haven't seen meaningful change, how do you decide whether to give it more time or accept that the relationship may not meet those needs?

Hello everyone, this is my first time posting, and I made this account specifically to ask this question because I just can not tell if this is as big of a deal as it feels to me. I, 26F, have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, 39M, for over a year and a half, and he moved into my house just a couple of months ago so we do live together. We had been somewhat friends who met at work for a few years before getting into this relationship. My problem is this: he has been very open with me about the fact that he does not talk to people about me, meaning nobody besides his dad and the few family members I have met knows that he is in a relationship. His reasoning is he "doesn't think it's anyone's business who he sleeps with." This is offensive to me because I feel that I should definitely be considered more than just someone he sleeps with as we live together and are trying to build a life together (and definitely had the convo making this an exclusive commited relationship). The reason I know he doesn't talk about me is because of a few times when he was telling me about conversations or situations at work where it would have been relevant for him to mention me but he has specifically told me "I don't tell people about you, or talk about you at all." When I asked why, he gave the answer above. When I told him that I feel like I should be relevant as more than just someone who he sleeps with he got upset and said he just doesn't want to talk about me and also told me he doesn't want to greet everyone by saying, "Hi! My name is (blank), and I have a girlfriend." Which is not at all the scenario or what I was asking for. Is it normal for me to be hurt by this?

TLDR: My boyfriend doesn't talk to people in his life about me, stating he "doesn't think it's anyone's business who he sleeps with." This is hurtful to me because we have been in a committed relationship for over a year and a half and live together, so I feel I should be considered more than just someone he sleeps with. Would this be hurtful to anyone else, or am I being too sensitive?

TLDR: I’m struggling with some feelings of frustration because my boyfriend has been dealing with depression, and I feel guilty about it. I love him and see a long-term future with him, so I’m wondering how to work through these feelings and support him better.

I know the title might sound bad, but please hear me out. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months, and a few months ago, he told me that he has depression. I was obviously upset to hear that because I want him to be okay. However, I also noticed that I felt a little disappointed, and I feel really guilty admitting that.

I think part of it is that I was really looking forward to a relationship that felt easy. I know depression isn't anyone's fault, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with struggling with your mental health. I guess I was just hoping for a relationship where I wouldn't have to worry so much about these things, as all my past relationships have all been with people who've had depression.

Since opening up to me about his depression, he hasn't been trying to hide how he feels (as he used to before). He sometimes takes a long time to respond to my texts, often tells me when he's feeling down or upset, and I find myself comforting him a few times a week. I don't think that's unreasonable, and I genuinely want to be there for him. Still, I've been feeling frustrated, and I don't entirely understand why. He isn't doing anything wrong. He's a wonderful boyfriend, we're extremely compatible, and I see a genuine future with him. We have so much fun together, I love his family, he treats me incredibly well, and I admire him so much as a person.

I think I'm struggling because I wish things could feel a little easier sometimes. I'm angry at myself for feeling annoyed because I know he can't control how he feels. He doesn't even talk about his struggles that much, and he tries his best not to make me feel responsible for them.

At the same time, when I know he's upset, I find it difficult not to feel upset myself. I'm worried that, over time, we'll have fewer enjoyable moments together or that spending time together will become emotionally draining. Sometimes we're together and I can tell he's feeling down, and it feels like I can't really connect with him in that moment. I miss being able to enjoy our time together without worrying about how he's feeling.

I've also seen situations (aka my previous relationship) where someone's mental health struggles negatively affected how they treated their partner, and I think I'm afraid of that happening here, even though my boyfriend has given me very little reason to worry about it. He's genuinely good to me, and I don't want my fears to affect how I treat him.

Has anyone else struggled with these kinds of feelings? How can I work through my frustration without making him feel like a burden? I want him to feel better, I want to support him in a healthy way, and I want to make sure I'm taking care of my own emotional well-being, too.

I'd especially appreciate advice on how to communicate about this with him without making him feel guilty for something he can't control. Thank you!

TLDR: My partner of 2.5 years stayed silent for two hours while his close friend berated my decision to accept a post-graduation job offer abroad and questioned our living arrangements. When I walked away from the conversation, my partner got angry at me for "embarrassing" him rather than addressing his friend's behavior.

I am a [22F] university student, and my partner and I have been together for 2.5 years. I live alone in a rented apartment, which I pay for using scholarships. He works and earns significantly more than me, but contributes only a small fraction (1/6) of the rent while spending almost all his time at my place.
Recently, I completed a 3-month internship abroad and received a post-graduation job offer in my field (interior design/architecture), where local job opportunities are very limited.
Yesterday, his close friend (who has a history of boundary issues) came to my apartment. Later that night, during a walk, this friend confronted me for two hours. He called me selfish for considering moving abroad, claimed my partner shouldn't even pay a fraction of my rent, and accused me of pressuring my partner.
Throughout the two hours, my partner sat there and said almost nothing to defend me or stop his friend. When I eventually walked away crying, my partner came over—not to check on me, but to yell at me for "embarrassing him" in front of his friend.
What hurts the most is that this is a recurring pattern: every single time I have a major academic milestone, he starts a massive fight with me, leaving me to face my presentations in tears.
After realizing he not only refuses to support me, but actively sabotages my peace during my most important moments, I took my spare key back, asked him to leave, and blocked him.
Am I handling this correctly? Has anyone dealt with a partner who consistently creates major conflicts right before their exams or career milestones?

TLDR: We are almost 2 years into our relationship and living together has been challenging. I didn’t expect for it to be sunshine and daffodils all of the time, but is it normal to barely speak to each other?

The last couple months of us living together have been hard for me to adjust to. Almost every aspect of our relationship has completely changed. Even though we’re in the same house, it’s like we spent more time together when we weren’t living together. We don’t text each other throughout the day, we don’t even go on dates anymore. A run down of our day to day looks like this: he leaves for work 4:30 am and gets home at 1:30 pm. I leave for work at 8:30 am and get home around 6:00 pm. He plays pick up soccer most days, and is usually gone before I even get home, so we don’t see each other for the first time until 7:30 - 8:00 pm. I’m usually finishing up dinner so he will say hello, poke his head in the kitchen to see what I’m cooking, then he will go shower, and jump on his video game. I usually eat dinner in silence because he’s talking with his friends on the game. He’ll play until about 10:00 pm. Sometimes he wants to have sex, sometimes he just wants to go straight to sleep. I try to keep the peace between us and entertain myself but I can only scroll on my phone, or read a book, or watch Netflix for so long. I feel lonely, and it turns into an argument if I say anything. He called me suffocating tonight and I couldn’t believe it. How much space does a man need?

Me (27M) and gf (30F) have been together for 6 years. We live together, have a dog, the whole nine yards. Just 3 months ago I was absolutely convinced I wanted to marry her, but the last few months I feel like my feelings have changed and I feel terrible about it.

We got together when I was young and I had only had one other girlfriend very briefly before her so the number of girls I've been with and everything else is low. When I met her, she was literally the girl of my dreams and I was amazed she was even into me. I was also overweight and not looking my best, didn't have a job or anything but she still wanted to be with me.

My love for her was super strong those first four years. I was super devoted to her. But then she kept finding reasons to say she was unsure about our relationship and some of those reasons she gave were hurtful towards me like saying she wasn't sure she was attracted to me, that I wasn't independent enough, etc. but I was so blinded by my love for her I just used it as motivation to better myself.

I started going to the gym and got fit, sort of looksmaxxed myself (I don't support the ideology but it was always my dream to look better and they had some good tips), got a great job, bought a car, moved out from my parents' home. It sort of work and she became attracted to me which made me happy and I was really happy I could provide for her finally.

But as all of these things about me changed, my confidence improved. I started having other women be interested in me but turned them down easily. Then my best friend since we were kids suddenly became single and he would talk to me day and night about his failures and successes which made me start to think about what things would be like if I were single. I started looking at other girls more and fantasizing what it would be like to date them and such.

But despite these thoughts, I still really loved my girlfriend and decided that while I was curious, what I wanted more than all of that was a family of my own and to be married. The problem is though that my girlfriend is really bad about thinking about the future and she made me promise to not propose until she told me it was okay, which she still hasn't. Even things like kids she seems unsure but not even in a fence sitting way, but more in a she doesn't ever consider the future kind of way. I began to grow frustrated because all of our conversations about the future started to feel like whatever I wanted and she was just along for the ride because she couldn't bother to think two steps ahead of her.

We went to my cousin's wedding and everyone there complimented me on my glo-up and for the first time, I didn't feel like the guy who got this really amazing girl and was so lucky, I felt like I was finally on her level.

I think what really cemented this feeling for me was for the last few months my girlfriend has gotten really into a video game online. She spends every waking moment on it, which I don't mind her having hobbies but it was cutting into the time we spent together. Nights where we would cuddle before bed, give each other massages, or just watching a show stopped existing. Date nights were cut short to play the game. I began to feel sad and directionless and told her this and to her credit she tried to compromise but it didn't feel like enough for me.

Then a close friend from college who happens to be a girl and her husband came to stay with us for a week. I was really happy to spend time with my friend and her husband (he's sort of my friend too) and I took them everywhere in our state. My girlfriend tried to be present, but it was clear she needed a lot more alone time and couldn't be as social (she's a severe introvert) which my friend noticed and commented on. After the visit was over and my friend went home, she told me that she was so surprised by how much different I seemed and told me I was now a total catch and that I seemed way more put together than my girlfriend. I felt horrible reading that and also embarrassed, but also strangely happy in a way which I feel so fucked up over.

So for the last two weeks since their visit I've quietly been letting my thoughts about what being single would be like run free and I feel more strongly than ever like I want to leave but I feel horrible and guilty about that because I still love my girlfriend so much. Hell, the other day she seemed so extremely sad because I was going to go out with some of my boys to see a movie she had wanted to see (it was a last minute thing and I had no idea she also wanted to see it) and I felt so horrible and sad to see her so sad. The thought of leaving her makes me feel completely awful and devastated but I can't stop having these thoughts about what being single would feel like. Selfishly, I also sort of feel like I didn't get to experience enough especially with how I look now before settling down.

I would NEVER cheat and I'm confident in that. These thoughts are not new but never have they been so pervasive, but if it came down to it I would leave before doing anything like that, it would be the ultimate betrayal if it happened to me and I feel the same way if I were to do it to her.

I don't know what to do. Do I leave her? Do having these thoughts at all mean I'm a terrible boyfriend and should just end it for both of our sakes? Or is there a way through this where we can come back stronger? Is there anything I can do to stop this feeling and focus on what I have and the positives? And if anyone experienced anything similar what did they do? I just really need some perspective.

TLDR: Been with gf 7 years, she expressed I wasn't attractive enough or independent enough. Got my shit together and got fit, everyone around me treats me differently now and I keep thinking about what it would be like to be single and feeling horrible. At the same time, feel pretty stagnant with my gf, but I love her so much and would love to go back to my feelings from before, but I'm not sure how to get there.

TLDR: When we first met we didn’t know each others ages, we knew of each other for a while but we’ve been talking for a couple weeks now, I asked a silly joking question and he got intrigued, came and asked for my number and I said yes. Now I know most people will think he’s a “creep” and I’m a “baby” but please keep an open mind, we’ve been talking for a bit now and we have a lot of similarities, same interests and we get along so well that phone calls will likely last over 3 to 4 hours, however the only problem I’m seeing is that my parents aren’t the happiest about this, they are very angry to be fully honest.

We live in a very small town so it’s very hard to have a job and thankfully I do but in the winter it’s the hardest. I still live with my family and do what I can for them, but with how everything’s going it scares me because I don’t want to loose my family.

For some back story I did get out of a 3 year relationship not too long ago, and in the bit that we’ve spent together I’ve been treated so much better then in that long of time, I also just feel the need to figure things out on my own without input from others, I really want to see where this goes without the chance of driving away my family.

What are some opinions on what would be the right way to go about this?

I just need some advice, if there’s any questions ask away.

my boyfriend is honestly a walking green forest greener than the amazon rainforest, but he is from another country. I am south asian, and come from a traditional household, my parents say they are openminded but they are not at all. my mom is, but my dad is not. he wants me to marry someone from my country, and from my caste. but i have been dating my boyfriend since 2.5years, and known him longer than that, i was going to tell my parents about the relationship once i finished college, but some things happened and telling them now couldn't be avoided. i still have 2 years left to finish college, and i want to get married after that, my boyfriend is currently working abroad, but after July 2027, he can come to my country and even start a business. that's our plan, he will come here and start a business and i will try for a government job if i can, and live in my country for around 10 years, have the kids here, but he wants the kids to be educated in his country, so we will have to go after that. even before moving permanently, i will have to visit for the wedding, or some festivals, or even just a trip, his country has lots of places to travel so i also really want to go. but, my parents think he will take me to his country and sell me. when i told mom, it seemed like even if not too happy, she was willing to accept for my sake, but my dad was little bit drunk and completely shut it down without even listening. my boyfriend had brought me an Iphone 17 pro when he visited recently, and my dad, in his drunken state started saying if i'm dating him because of the money and transferred the money for the same phone and told me to return it to him.

my sister managed to make him go to sleep tonight and my mom came to talk to me, and she said to talk to dad tomorrow when he is sober. so i don't know how i can convince him, the only problem he has with him is that he is a foreigner, before, my bf worked in my country, that's how we met, and that time he and my dad also kept meeting a lot, he visited my dad almost every 2 days. so it's not like i showed a random person, they know him, they know what kind of person he is but they are not willing to accept it. They keep repeating that if i ever set a foot in his country their oldest daughter is "lost forever".

how can i convince my dad to give my bf a chance? my bf recently took a vacation so he cannot come for a long time but he said he will talk to his manager and take a short break and visit next month.

my bf really is a good guy, if i have to leave him because of my parents, i'm sure i will end up resenting them for life, but if i don't, my parents might resent me for life, but if i just convince my dad and let his fear of his daughter being sold go, i won't have to face any of these scenarios.

please someone help how to convince them.🥲

TLDR: my bf is a foreigner, my dad is a traditional guy, he think my bf will sell me in his country after marriage, need help how to convince my dad.

My bf and I have been together for 5 and a half years. We have been living together for 3.5. He has recently transitioned into starting his own company (1.5 years ago) and works primarily at night. This has really messed with how much time we spend together, how often I see him, and has cause a lot of issues for me with handling the change. Additionally. Now that he has his business, he is extremely stressed about it and making enough money. Its a very physically taxing job, and he also has to quite a lot of admin and scheduling logistics with his employees.

We never really sat down and hashed out what all these changes would do to our relationship, and how we could make bahavioral changes and systems for this new schedule that would take some off the pressures off. This is something we are planning on working on.

My bf has been in a mental health slump for the past 4 months. We got him back in therapy and on meds again (he should have been all along but just was like 'ehhh its fiiine'). But this, combined with finally coming to a head with all the huge life changes has really put a stress on our relationship. I really am not feeling prioritized or considered, a bit like a person he enjoys being around when he happens to come home, but even then he's usually just exhausted.

I'm trying to figure out how much of this is a normal "rough patch" that I can grit and bear through, or if I am at a point where I need to move on. Id like to think when he stablizes mentally and gets better systems in place for his business, he will be able to give me more of what I need from a relationship like he used to. I want his business to succeed, and I know that right now especially with his mental struggles he doesnt really have the emotional capacity to put my needs all that much higher on his things to worry about.

But I dont know how long it will be until then, and Im feeling very alone right now. So, do I just try to get through it and support him to the best of my abilities? Or do I give up and put myself first? "Just leave" seems like a cop-out when we have been together for a while, we love eachother, and this is a very real, and very normal set of issues. I cant just always bounce on a relationship cause life got hard. I dont know what to do.

TLDR: My bf and I have been together 5 years and due to life and career changes, such as starting a company and mental health stuff, I am not feeling prioritized. Is it worth staying and being supportive with the hopes that things get better?

I know the title makes me sound like a bit of an asshole, but hear me out. We've been dating for a few months and we get along really well! However, she wants to spend every weekend together, which is something that I'm not too happy with. I really enjoy having some time to myself at the end of a week of work, and do not want that time disrupted constantly. I really enjoy seeing her, and I'm happy to spend some weekends with her, but I can't do it all the time? How do I communicate this to her without causing offence?

TLDR: How do I want to tell the girl I'm dating that I don't want to see her as regularly without sounding like a dick?

We started dating about 6 months ago, and things are going really well. We have great chemistry and I feel really happy and content when I am with her.

We are both emotionally secure, and also have our own ambitions and goals that we wanna achieve.
Currently in college.

Theres just one small issue.

She is really close to her mother, on almost all levels. Her mother is her ultimate confidant, and she shares almost everything that happens to her with her mother.

And I really respect her relationship with her mother. I am envious too, because my relationship with my mother is more of a respectable one, with all the weights and expectations that come with it, naturally I am not very open about my feelings to her.

But having such a close relationship with her mother is backfiring now, as the guilt of hiding our relationship from her is eating her inside out. As well as the tension that comes with concealing all the lies and stuff.

And very naturally she cant disclose our relationship to her mother, the backlash would be tremendous and really bad.

I am naturally very worried for her, but I feel helpless in this situation. Only thing I can do is be there for her and hope eventually the novelty of the relationship fades and that the guilt will stop eating at her.

Women who have been through such a stage in their life, any advice for how to deal with these emotions.
And what I need to be doing better for her as well.

TLDR: Asking for advice on how to deal with tension and guilt of hiding relationship from parents.

Thanks

TLDR: First relationship, I don’t know if I should end it or if this would be a huge mistake.

So this is my first time posting so please bear with me. I don’t really know what to do at the moment. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. He moved in with me and my roommate at the time pretty quickly and we now have our own shared apartment. He’s a really great guy. He’s kind, he cares for me and I know that he really loves me. I’ve been having doubts about my feelings for a while now but I never dared to seriously think about that or even talk to someone because I feel like it would make it real. He often tells me he can’t sleep when I’m not there with him ( I visit my parents quite often). I don’t feel the same. He always wants to cuddle when we fall asleep. I really want my own space when I fall asleep. I’ve started deliberately not letting him know when I get sleepy so that I can fall asleep on my own. I’ve also been avoiding intimacy and even when we’re intimate I’ve always had problems looking at him during ( although that might be a general issue and not him specific). This might sound really stupid but I’ve also noticed that celebrities and fictional characters I find attractive are all fundamentally different from him. I just don’t know if I still find him attractive. On the other hand he makes my inner child so happy and I feel safe and like I can be myself around him. I’m just really scared I’d be throwing away a really good thing if I were to end things. The other problem is, that besides me he has no one. His mother passed away before we met and his dad kicked him out shortly after we got together. His dad is an abusive asshole. I know that if I leave he’ll have no one and I’m scared he’ll go down a dark path again. I supported him when he was jobless, literally homeless, I used some of my savings to help him pay off his considerable debt. I just feel like I’ve grown cold towards him. We’ve had a few fights over household chores, because he barely does anything around the house. I don’t do that much either but I’m sick of always reminding him:,, hey, we’ve gotta clean the kitchen” or ,, can u take out the trash please”. before he started studying he was working full time while i was ,,only” studying and working 10h/ week so I was willing to do more but even during exam season where I was busy he never helped. I used to get angry at him because of that and he’d always apologize and promise he’ll change but he never does. I feel like I’ve started growing resentment towards him because I always need to remind him of everything, and I’m scared how this is going to develop.
This is both of ours first relationship. I really don’t know what to do. Has anyone gone through anything similar? I’d be more than thankful for any advice

TLDR My mom won't listen to me.

I still live with my mom unfortunately and I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. He is graduating University and wants me to be there with him for a week, he offered to pay for my plane ticket to the UK and back. I love him to death but my issue is my mom, I tried to explain to her that he wants me over there just for the week and offered her to talk to his parents, she refused to even do that so I don't know what to do, I'm stuck, it's not like I can just get up and drive there because I only have my permit. My boyfriend really wants me there and I wanna be there for him too. How do I get her to understand without breaking down and crying again.... because yes I ended up doing that the last time because I was getting so frustrated and upset to the point where I broke down.

I, 22F, have been with my boyfriend, 23M, for almost 3 years. We recently got into an argument involving moving in together. Our original plan was that he would move in with me, but he decided to accept a job offer in the area which he is living as of now, so it could be a year or two before we can even live together. He did not tell me this information on his own, he only mentioned the possibility of accepting the offer and I had to pull the answer out of him. I cannot move because I am a graduate student.

When we had a discussion about him suddenly springing this acceptance on me, he would not stop crying, I could barely even speak to him. Ultimately, I asked him if he was afraid of me, afraid to tell me, and he said yes. We have gotten into a few arguments before, but I have always been understanding and I make an effort to ask his point of view and how he’s feeling.

I am so blindsided and taken aback. Long distance isn’t easy, but I have felt like a monster ever since he told me he fears me. How do I even go about our relationship at this point?

TLDR; boyfriend said he’s afriad of me after an argument and now I feel like a horrible human being

TLDR; Feeling self conscious and don’t know how to ask my girlfriend for more affirmation

I think I struggle a lot with feeling self-conscious, and I have a lot of worries about uncertainties in our relationship that I don’t think are always rational. I do, however, feel like I want to see more intentionality in her actions that make me feel like she really cares about me, which I don’t usually feel unless I ask her directly. It’s early on in our relationship (2 months), and I think I’m doing well to not take this personally, because I do really care about her and I want things to work out. Maybe we have different styles of expression, but I always try to go out of my way to let her know that I’m thinking of her in some way.

Can you suggest some ways I might try to bring this up in a constructive way? I don’t want her to feel like I’m accusing of her of anything, I just want to feel like she cares about me.

TLDR: My boyfriend apologized by doing something I dislike and is now mad I don’t appreciate it.

Me [22f] and my bf [22m] have been together for 3 years and some change and have been living together for around 4 months.

This whole thing started this morning when I was woken up by my bf barging into the bedroom yelling about my having lost his prescription. I jumped out of bed and started looking for it, before remembering that 1) we have another copy that he had in his folder and 2) we had already bought the meds he needed. At which point I apologized, but maintained that while I was sorry, it truly wasn’t the end of the world.

He then accused me of not caring (bold of him to assume of someone who went with him to the appointment, a one hour trip each way, and asked multiple relevant questions he had not thought about), and when i went to defend myself, he began yelling.

My patience was over by then, so I also started yelling about him being messy, not caring about keeping up with household chores or my work within out house.

He stormed out and I went to see my parents, who live out of the country. He called me to apologize and I accepted, then invited him to come spend some time with us. He refused due to “having had a hard day”, which translates to having gone to one uni class and having had lunch with his father.

When I got home, I found the house clean and decorated for Halloween. Do not get me wrong, I appreciate the effort, but I hate Halloween. I am terrified of spiders which are now littered throughout the house and I genuinely dislike all the Halloween decorations.

When I found out exactly how much money he’d spent decorating the house for Halloween (something he likes yet I hate) as an apology to me, I may have gotten angry, but not to the point of yelling, just a little mad. We’re college students, so not doing amazing on money and he has spent the equivalent of two weeks of groceries on stupid decorations as an “apology” to me.

When I brought it up to him, mentioning how while I appreciated the effort and intention he had put into it, I disliked both the decorations and the fact that he had spent so much money on something we will stuff away in the closet (already limited space, I struggle to fit even half of my clothes into it and my shoes live in a perpetual pile). I then mentioned how I was very hurt and confused that instead of trying to apologize with something I would have actually liked (some flowers, coffee, etc), he bought stuff he liked and then was offended when I didn’t praise him for it. Did he not know what I like or was it more of a caring issue?

He told me that since I had nothing nice to say I shouldn’t have said anything and is now mad and sleeping on the couch.

Pls help, what should i do? Maybe I handled this wrong, but this cannot be fair to me??

i (27f) have been with to my partner (33m) for over 2 years. we will be getting married in a couple of months, after which we will move in together. we are currently staying in one-bedroom apartments each, about a 20 min walk away.
the plan is to move into either one of our houses until the lease ends (in about 8-10 months) and then move into a new place together. my apartment is in the busy part of the city, and while it is super close to cafes, restaurants etc it is unsafe and noisy in the weekend. his apartment is in a really nice, safe residential area that is still very accessible, and very close to nice parks which i really love. however, my apartment is larger, and can accommodate the two of us more easily. the kitchen (and house in general) is better equipped, has nicer appliances and has a significant amount of storage, enough for both of us. his apartment is quite small, and has just enough storage for him alone (and he is a very minimal person). the bathroom door doesn’t close fully, and the kitchen is pretty small. as someone who likes to cook often and somewhat elaborately, this would be a big con for me. it does have a lovely hall and balcony, but overall i feel like it’s not enough space for us both (and maybe more so me) to be comfortable. he does not like the area i live in, and i wouldn’t be happy about such tight living conditions.
some more context- my partner is very empathetic and supportive, and throughout the relationship has definitely made a lot of compromises for me. he has stayed over at my place a lot over the last year, and did say that if moving there is something i’d really be unhappy with, then he’d move here and let the area concern go. i really believe that he would, but i don’t feel happy about this decision where either one of us feels like they’re giving something up.
i wouldn’t mind us both ending our leases and looking for a new place as well. the cost is (imo) not bad at all for our apartments thankfully, and something i would not think much about if it meant being more secure in our decision about living together. but he doesn’t want to spend money just for the sake of feeling like we’re even.

TLDR: how do i come to terms with moving to my boyfriend’s place (or vice versa) without feeling like either of us is giving up too much?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, and we love each other very much. We’ve been through a lot together, especially during difficult times with my mental health, and he’s always been patient, supportive, and understanding. Our relationship is wonderful in many ways, but we keep arguing about
jealousy and boundaries with other women.

We’re both open-minded and value our freedom, but he is much more relaxed about friendships with the opposite sex than I am. For example, him following random girls on Instagram and refusing to unfollow them even though I’ve asked him to, or having a female best friend, can make me uncomfortable. He worries that if he agrees to these requests, I’ll eventually ask him to make more and bigger compromises that restrict his freedom. I understand his concern, and I don’t want to be controlling, but I also don’t want to ignore my own feelings.

We come from a relatively small, conservative society, so these situations can sometimes put me in an uncomfortable social position. I don’t really care what people think, but I still want to feel respected and know that my partner considers how his actions affect me.
I also wonder if my jealousy is connected to how differently we express love. He doesn’t talk much about his feelings and isn’t particularly romantic, whereas I’m more emotional and value romance and verbal affection. We’ve discussed this, and I’ve told him I’d like to feel more loved in those ways. I know he cares about me, but sometimes I wonder if my jealousy is partly a need for reassurance or affection that I’m not fully getting.

I trust him and don’t necessarily suspect him of cheating. I just struggle to understand where reasonable boundaries end and controlling behavior begins.
I’d appreciate advice from people who’ve been in similar situations. How would you approach this conversation with your partner, and what practical boundaries or compromises have worked for you? I’d also like to understand how to communicate my need for affection and reassurance without making him feel controlled, while respecting his need for independence.

TLDR: My boyfriend (M25) and I (F24) have been together for 4 years. We have different views on boundaries with other women: things like him following random girls on Instagram or having a female best friend make me uncomfortable, while he worries that compromising will lead to more restrictions on his freedom. We also express affection differently, and I sometimes wonder whether my need for reassurance contributes to my jealousy. How can I approach this conversation and work with him to establish boundaries that respect both our needs?