I'm 44 days sober. This is a massive achievement for me as I'm 61 and have been drinking since my 20's. That's a long time to use a substance every time I feel or experience anything. I'm definitely feeling better but flat and fatigued and my motivation has left the building. I'm normally full of energy working 12 hour shifts, art classes, gallery visits doing yoga, weights and lots of walking with my dog plus drinking too much wine. Long story but since February my life hit a wall and I'm trying to piece it back together.

I've read a lot of posts here and reassured that I'm not alone In my feelings.

I'm starting my course of radiotherapy tomorrow.. I'm single and have dealt with my cancer treatment alone. Of course people ask how I am but they don't really want to know that I'm scared and feel like crap. I just need to keep reminding myself that by quitting alcohol I'm making one of the healthiest actions that I can right now. IWNDWYT 💞

Hi all! You don’t remember me, but I remember you.

Almost two years ago I joined this community and I pulled A WHOLE YEAR SOBER with your support!! (I like to say that, but I did drink -and blackout- once during that time). I lost insane weight, was looking young and fantastic and training like a crazy person, studying, reading, writing, painting.

Until I wasn’t.

One day I picked it up again for fun, during a trip. You guys had supported me trough a trip before, and it was an amazing experience, which I clearly did not learn from. Not this time. I actually think i may have posted here once, and I remember making a list on my phone of why I should stay sober. I didn’t, and eventually, dropped all efforts, and went back to being the drunk piece of sh*t I seem to love so much.

I don’t even know where to start with the monster Inturn myself into. I can be fun, and passionate and interesting while drunk, who can’t? But then I also turn agressive, violent, hurtful, anxious, depressed, sensitive, defensive. My body hurts every day. I am always tired. It’s been a year and it seems to be getting worse.

I have had horrible fights with my partner. I have done the stupidest things. I have embarrassed myself.

Last night I drank half a bottle of vodka (wohoo, working today with hangover and dread!!) pretty much on my own, and surprisingly, nothing happened. I was SO relieved when I woke up and no damage was done except for probably losing liver function and being embarrassed of my partner seeing me how disgusting I was. I am SO tired. I am SO tired of the pain and the not recollecting what I say and SO TIRED of apologizing for the beast that lives inside me. But not anymore. I can’t anymore.

I booked an appointment with a doctor and I will have him give me Naltrexone, and I will not drink today, and I will not drink tomorrow until my appointment, and hopefully that will make it better. I did not take pills last time, but I want some help until I’m back on my feet because I can’t trust myself right now. I will come back here everyday and I will i’ll read you guys. I will go back to my diary.

I really hope to God this time is the last time I feel how I feel.

I'm proud to be 3 years alcohol-free today. I've saved somewhere around $15k, so I bought myself a new guitar to celebrate the time I've spent and the money I haven't! I'm happy to be a part of this community which has carried me forward even during the times all I wanted was a drink. Here's to one more sober day. IWNDWYT!

Seven years to the day since my mum sadly passed away from alcohol-related liver disease, I am proud to say that I am working my hardest to break the cycle. 25th October 2025 was the last time that I drank alcohol, and I intend to keep it that way!

Decided to stop a week ago after drinking heavily again ( I was 45 days sober ) So when I started I started with 10 beers then 300mg vodka up to 800 plus vodka. Decided I would stop slowly by going to 600 - 400 - 300-200, but holy fuck already at 300 I started having visuals such as the most terrible vivid dreams, loud music like crazy it was some weird folkore shit and weird pyramids everywhere. It was scary but I knew I am having a withdrawal. So I had 4 sleepless night before going to the ER and they gave some diazepam injection in my ass. The weird thing is that I was feeling a bit like on MDMA when It was the last day, can't describe it, even my pulpils were super dialed. Anyway went home and slept like a baby. Today I woke up and I am feeling good. Third day, no tremor and no need for alcohol.

Wow, I would have never imagined I would have made it this far. Before, going two days was huge for me, but 60 wow, by the grace of God. I was drinking liquor everyday

Also excited because I hear by day 60, this is the first major milestone and the results get dramatically better from here on out!!

IWDWYTD!

Guys I’m feeling sad but I’m choosing to experience the sad rather than run away from it

Who else is with me?

IWNDWYT!!!

Me and my boyfriend have both been sober for about 4 months. I know it’s not long but we both made this commitment. He had to quit for health reasons (he was on the road to pancreatitis) I had to quit for mental health reasons. I’m pretty upset. My boyfriend came home last night and I smelled alcohol on his breath. I called him out and he told me he only had a sip of a drink… I know he lied. There’s no way alcohol can stay on your breath from one sip. So I kind of snapped and went for an hour walk because I needed some space. I guess I just don’t know how to approach this conversation. Is he lying to me about more stuff? Can I trust him? I’m overthinking everything. I want to have a future with him, but I want him to take care of his health. And drinking is not an option. I know he is his own person but I’m aggravated and need to vent.

I’m not really sure why I’m posting, but I don’t really have anyone to explain this to.

I went 7.5 years sober. Through that time I lost my Nan and my dog in that time, and on neither occasion did I even contemplate reaching for a drink. If anything, I was grateful I was sober.

Then 7 months ago, me and my family moved 4 hours away to be closer to my family who all had moved to the area.

Before the move I’d started thinking of drinking again, so I could at least come back to my home area to socialise with my best mate (how stupid is that after that much time!?). Ironically we don’t see each other much these days as family and work life can take up a lot time. But the relationship we had previously was heavily focussed on being at the pub. He has always been there on the end of the phone even though we don’t meet up often. Sadly I think it’s because I avoided doing so otherwise it would be obvious I wasn’t drinking anymore, like I was almost embarrassed.

We met up a couple of times beforehand, and he helped us move. I’d always kept my sobriety relatively private, as if it was more casual like I could occasionally drink than a big deal. Which wasn’t true and I’d hide it with an excuse like I’m driving, or up early the next day when we did meet up. It was more through fear that the friendship would somehow be worth less, now it wasn’t filled with the drinking side.

Anyway, within 2 weeks of relocating I found myself drinking for the first time. Almost so I could have a reason to have a reason to go back home and maintain that old social aspect of my life with my friend. It’s been 6.5 months since that first drink and I’m now back to drinking regularly. The heart palpitations and anxiety is awful and I feel so ashamed that I’ve let this get the better of me.
I’m not even sure if any of this even makes sense, and to be honest I’m trying to make sense of it all myself even now.

I guess what I’m trying to say, along with getting it off my chest somewhere, is please don’t ever get complacent. Treasure that time you’ve achieved. I was 100% convinced I’d beaten the addiction, yet it found its way back in at a time that didn’t even seem like a vulnerable point until now when I look back at it.

Day 1 completed again.

I’m a binge drinker and started this journey after a horrible fight I had with my wife while I was drunk. There’s been too many of those. I cringe thinking about them.

But today I feel proud. 100 days that I didn’t wake up with a huge pit in my stomach, embarrassed, and full of regret.

I think I need to stop with counting days though and try to shift from being someone who is trying not to drink to someone who doesn’t drink. Has anyone else felt that way?

Welp! I made it. One month without a drink. It's wild. I had this whole post written out in my head yesterday. Then today happened. So I'm again, just shouting into the void.

The GOOD - I'm down 20lbs, my bloodwork came back significantly better, I'm sleeping through the night (even if it is only for 4 hours), my routine has improved, my skin and scalp look great, I'm cooking and baking almost everyday and seriously the money I'm saving is ridiculous.

The MEH - I still crave alcohol. Whenever I'm watching horror movies or jamming/singing, I just think about how much I revolved these activities around being drunk and enjoying them more. I'm dealing with my depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety as best I can. I'm on a stupid long waitlist to get with a psychiatrist and a therapist. So right now, I'm just simply trying.

The STRUGGLE - I've realized I have AWFUL coping skills. I had a great day, super productive, taking care of my physical health, didn't hermit. Then I accidentally hit the side of my car on a pole in a parking garage and I seriously lost my shit. I was angry, mad, sad, pissed. I felt like a complete idiot. I just wanted to get a bottle and say fuck it. But, I didn't.

Today's celebration wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but I guess this is just what we call life.

Thanks to anyone who read this. IWNDWYT 🫂 💗

I just wanted to say thank you to this Reddit. As part of my recovery, I subscribed to this Reddit to receive notifications of all new posts. Reading these posts helps me on a daily basis and reminds me that drinking is not a necessary evil. Alcohol has done nothing positive for me in my life other than offering a fleeting way to quiet my mind and sleep.

Therapy and counseling gave me all of the tools needed to continue on this journey in a positive manner. Between that and nightly SMART meetings, I think I have all my bases covered. Life feels so much better not having alcohol induced anxiety every day.

I have no plans to ever drink again. I cannot moderate. 1 drink = 100 drinks.

IWNDWYT!

Just.. anything please. Anything to help.. hope, advice, wisdom.

My husband of 11.5 is in an active affair with someone he met about 4 months into my sobriety and I’m likely looking at divorce after spending over a decade completely and wholeheartedly head over heels. It feels like my entire adult past is worthless and wasted, my walls and my entire life is crumbling around me, and my future I’ve envisioned and built towards for so long is slipping away quicker than I can try to wrap my head around it.

I and my first “fuck I just wanna drink” moment over the weekend. Called my sponsor and got myself to a safe place and I’m not teetering or talking myself off a ledge to drink, I’m just heartbroken and devastated and trying to navigate emotions as a newly sober man that I’ve never felt

I am a 29M, and I need to stop drinking for good.
It’s truly one of the worst things that has happened in my life. I don’t drink often, but my problem is that when I do, I go on absolute benders. This leads to anxiety that has left me in the hospital on multiple occasions with panic attacks and the feeling that I’m dying.

People think I’m cracked out on drugs, but I’m not. The anxiety and panic after a bender just destroy me.

What’s making me quit is what happened last weekend. I went to Paris to watch an NFL football game and met up with friends who are my party friends. We drank 10 to 12 beers every day from Friday to Monday, and I don’t remember anything from two of the nights we were there.

I was in an Uber on my way to the airport Monday morning when the panic attack started. I had to go back to the Airbnb and book a flight for that evening back to Milan, where I live. I went back and slept for a few more hours until I had to check out. When I left, I had seven hours to spare and nowhere to go.
That’s when the panic attacks started coming back as I wandered around the streets of Paris. At one point, I had to ask someone to call an ambulance because I thought my heart was going to stop and my whole body was tingling. I eventually calmed down enough to keep going without calling one. I focused on my breathing, made it to a supermarket, and bought two coconut waters and some aspirin. After that, I felt good enough to head to the airport.
I thought I was in the clear as I made my way to the airport on the subway. It wasn’t until we were boarding the flight that the panic and anxiety started coming back. The thought of having a panic attack on an airplane, like I’ve experienced in the past and earlier that day, made my heart race and the panic intensify. I managed to get on the plane and make it through the flight by focusing on slowing my breathing.

It’s been 24 hours since I got back home to Milan, and I still feel terrible. It’s been 48 hours since my last drink, and the fact that I still feel this bad has really put things into perspective. I can’t keep doing this to myself.

My wife is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and without her, I would probably be dead. I want to be the best husband I can be, and I know I can’t keep putting myself through this. I don’t even enjoy drinking anymore. I only do it when I’m with friends, which is rare because the only friend I have in Italy is my wife.

I think part of the problem is that I’ve convinced myself that because I don’t drink every day, I don’t have a serious problem. But it doesn’t matter how often I drink when the consequences are this bad. I can go weeks without drinking, but one weekend like this can leave me physically and mentally wrecked for days. The blackouts, the anxiety, the panic attacks, and the fear of what I might have done or said while I wasn’t in control are no longer worth it.
I’m writing this to hold myself accountable and remind myself of the hell a weekend like this puts my body and mind through. I don’t want to keep sacrificing my health, happiness, and peace of mind for a few nights of drinking. Being healthy, emotionally stable, and in control of my anxiety are so much more important than putting myself through this again.

I want to be a better husband, brother, son, friend, and person. I want to be someone my future kids can look up to. I want to enjoy life, travel, build a family, and wake up feeling good about myself without constantly worrying about when the next wave of anxiety is going to hit.

I know this decision might change some of my friendships. Some people might not understand it, and I might miss out on certain nights or weekends. But if a friendship depends on me drinking, then it’s something I need to reconsider. I can still have a social life without alcohol, and I need to learn how to do that.

This is probably the most important change I need to make before I turn 30 and start a family of my own. I’m tired of making the same mistake and dealing with the same consequences. I don’t want this to be another promise I make to myself that I eventually break.

I’m done. I’m choosing my health, my wife, my future family, and myself.

Goodbye, drinking. You won’t be missed.

My life seems to be imploding. My wife has filed for divorce. She is mostly blaming my drinking, not so much today, but that she cannot watch me decline into full blown alcoholism. She has close family in recovery.

I am very high functioning. I do not drink to extremes, but I do drink most evenings. I very rarely drink enough to be hung over. It has just become routine and I can't seem to get out of it. I'll tell myself all day that I'm not going to drink today and then inevitably find myself walking into the gas station on the way home from work.

I feel stuck in this cycle. Work, Family, Drink, Repeat. I'm a good dad and feel like I have been a good husband. I work very hard and always show up. But, I guess it hasn't been enough.

I promised myself that I would never be here, but yet here I am. I'm the child of a line of alcoholics, my Mom told me over and over growing to be careful, its a disease and you are predisposed.

I really don't know why I am writing any of this, I guess maybe I thought it would help me process.

Ive been lone drinking for about 18 years. My idea of a great time is to boot up a video game and drink about 7-10 beers over the course of the night and try to escape to another place. I'd typically do this 1-3 times a week. This would fluctuate.

Recently I took a week off work and every afternoon about 17:00 I'd crack open a beer and start my night off. My partner of many years had been coming home from work during this week and we'd have some dinner and then she'd head off to bed as she could see what my plan was. Finally after a few days she came through the door, looked in the bin and saw a couple of cans and confronted me about the drinking. Telling me how she was concerned about the amount I drink, about my health and she asked if I might be skipping out on doing other things so I could stay home and drink.

Basically she called me out completely and it made me feel awful. She was obviously 100% right to do this. I think I had already come to terms with myself that I'm an alcoholic and needed to fix things years ago but this event really woke me up.

I know that if I carry on this way I will ruin this great relationship I'm in, continue to ruin my health and isolate myself more and more.

I suppose I'm just worried that I don't have the strength and willpower to fully stop drinking and need any advice that could help so I can start living a better life.

I ruined the end of the night last night. My memory blipped for a few minutes, and during that time I got upset at my husband over the dumbest thing ever. By the end of the night I was yelling that he’s stupid and worthless.

Is he? Hell no. Am I when I am drunk? Hell yes.

I’m just so fed up with myself being like this. Today feels like the day that I’m just over it. Don’t even want to have the pity party with sappy apologies. I just want to lock this part of me up and throw away the key without the theatrics and sorrow.

I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed. I myself am only suffering adjacently from alcoholism.

I lost one of my best friends yesterday.

I only knew him 4 years of my life but I knew he would be a friend forever. He was the most solid, honest, down to earth, true friend I ever had.

He was found in his home yesterday by a family member, died from choking on his own vomit after passing out drunk in the bathroom.

I knew he had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but I never thought it could end the way that it did.

Again I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed and please remove if so; I just needed to write this and I thought this community might understand at a deeper level than I can.

Is this normal and I should just let my body do what it needs to do for now? Surprisingly I don’t really have alcohol cravings since day 2. Was having 8-10 drinks almost daily for 10 years

My relationship with alcohol: it’s brought me to the hospital twice. In patient and out patient detox. In 2020 I started drinking hard, and non stop. I was drunk probably every minute of the day for 4 years straight. Somehow I made it through college. And got a dream job. Fast forward to now. My wife does not tolerate drinking. Especially as she has seen my drinking habits the past 2 years. Finding hidden drinks, and the irritated and angry person I become when I’ve had too many. I’ve promised to abstain completely from alcohol. Very rarely on social occasions she is ok with it.

But she doesn’t know the truth. I drink when she works late nights. I hide the empties. I want to be done with drinking. But the opportunity presents itself to me to get away with it, and the alcoholic brain takes control. My drinking has reduced very significantly since we’ve been together. I have no withdrawals or health concerns with quitting. But the damage to my body worries me. It robs me of my ability to enjoy everyday things. I drink maybe 3 nights a week. Binge drinking heavy. Feel like crap the days I don’t but still manage day to day.

I want to say goodbye to it forever, and maybe this post is more of a vent to lay out my thoughts.

But, how did you say goodbye to alcohol for good? Did you write a letter? Did you bury your last bottle? What was your final mental break?

Also much appreciated, how did you fight it when the opportunity presented itself to drink? When you know you can get away with it but you fought it. My biggest mental hurdle is boredom. I’m home alone. Nothing sounds enjoyable. There’s nothing I want to do, but I need to keep my mind occupied. I have a million things I could do. I make good money, have a house, a project car in the garage, a nice computer to game, pets, and little projects I could do. Yet my brain says nah, those are boring, just drink your night away.

I want to be done with it forever and get my mental and physical health where it should be.

I’d like to celebrate 100 days of sobriety, but I am so ashamed of the stories of me, and the way people viewed me in active addiction. I can’t run far away enough from the person I am while I drink, and to give any recognition to the fact that I am not that person, I have to first admit I was that person. I’m still not over it, I think.

this is my first post in this community! i’m new here and new to sobriety as well.

for context, i’m in my early 20’s. i decided to quit drinking after some years with a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol, it made me hate myself. i’m two weeks sober today! i know it’s not much, but i’m proud of myself. it’s the first time in years that i’ve gone that much time without it.

the reason why i’m writing this post is because i don’t know what to say to my friends (and people in general) when they ask me why i’m not drinking. the excuse i’ve been saying is that “i’m feeling sick” or something like that, but it only can get me so far.

i really wanted this journey to be private. i feel ashamed to be sober in such a early age, where everyone seems to be drinking and partying and having fun, and i can’t have that because i don’t know how to drink in moderation. i’m scared of telling friends because what if i relapse? what if i can’t do it? i’m afraid to tell my friends i quit just for them to find me drunk some time later and be disappointed.

that’s why i didn’t want anyone to know. so far, i told very few close friends that i stopped, but tried to make it look like it’s not that big of a deal (when, in reality, it’s a massive thing). but when i’m with other friends or groups in general i don’t know what to say when they offer me alcohol.

i feel stupid because i’m known to be a “heavy drinker” (or, to some people who also drink a lot, “a great company to drink with”), and now i just suddenly… stopped. it looks weird, but i didn’t want my sobriety to be open to other people.

alcohol is so normalized when you’re young that they look at you like you’re crazy for turning it down. i don’t want to tell them that i can’t drink because i’ll never stop and i’ll end up blacked out and ruining the night. but my excuses are not sticking so much because i can’t “feel sick” all the time.

what do you guys say in situations like these? i know that there’s a difference between talking to friends, to acquaintances and to strangers, but i don’t what to say at all. i thought about saying that i’m on some medication, but i don’t know if i would know what to say if someone start to ask more details about it.

i’m sorry for the long post. even though i’m new to this community, i felt safe enough to open up about things i’ve been thinking about. i wanted to know how you dealt with questions in the early weeks. i feel really lonely and ashamed.

iwndwyt

23F, I'm on day 2 of no drinking after drinking everyday for about 2 years with the occasional day off maybe every few months. I feel slightly off today like kinda weird, maybe it's because I'm not hungover i don't really know. I don't feel the best but not the worst, and I am motivated not to drink today. Instead, I would like to clean up the house for me and my boyfriend and draw as much as possible, and definitely sleep some as well. Ive been finding that staying distracted is the best way to keep my mind off of drinking and telling myself it only has to be for today. This shit is hard, yesterday was fucking hard. I have a very addictive personality I get addicted to things so so easy and I regret ever getting addicted in the first place. Cheers to this community and all of the support you guys have given me in the past. I will not drink with you today.