I recently tried buying a townhome, and quickly realized that among many factors saving money and investing money was the better move for me because my income barely qualifies me for something decent. I don't even qualify for a 1 bedroom apartment in the area I would want to live which is 35 minutes from where I live now.

After doing a ton of math, my current savings trajectory puts me [25 turning 26 in a few months] at 250k across my brokerage account and retirement accounts by 28/29. The sacrifice being, I don't travel, I don't really have a big social life and just hangout with my parents, and I don't date because I am gay and my parents are anti-gay.

I know these are all reasons I should adult, but I also think moving for the sake of dating isn't benefical to my goals, and I really think waiting until I reach 250k will set me up for success later in life when I ideally meet someone or am ready to buy a home.

Part of me is trying to justify the trade-offs, and part of me sort of accepts that at least for now I am too busy to even bother dating to start with so it isn't really something I am missing out on.

I’ve got like 20 on my bed, ranging from a 6ft alligator to a tinny dog. We are all best friends, just as an adult I feel like I’m weird. Does it really matter? Like seriously, I would take them on drives and hangout in public if I wouldn’t get made fun of. They are so cute and the best.

For context, I used to work from home 7am - 3pm. No commute. Loved my job. Had time for gym, cooking lunch fresh every day, seeing friends, laundry, dinner prep, and not dreading Monday.

I now have a 9-5 with an hour commute each way. Suddenly things like house chores, coffee catch ups, any form of exercise, cooking big dinners - mostly out the window and no hope of ticking off all of them.

What’s more is I can’t understand how adults are also fitting kids into this kind of schedule and still finding time for home, self, and social life.

I also have newfound stress that if I’m not in bed by 10 I won’t be able to function as well the next day. Preparing my lunch and getting ready takes a big chunk of my morning before the commute. By the time I get home there’s only time for dinner and a bit of TV.

Has anyone actually found a good routine or ‘5-9’ guide to feel like you do more than just work and commute?

I don't want to know anything about anybody. I haven't watched or read the news for a long time. It's always bad news, and it makes me hella depressed. I don't even use social media; the only two things I use are Reddit and WhatsApp. I'm even thinking of deleting Reddit, world news still finds me here too somehow. I just want to live my own boring, normal life and be oblivious to everything. I'm not saying I'm antisocial; I have enough friends, but I feel like we can't connect because I don't use social media. This era is very strange.

My boyfriend and i have been talking about buying a place together and the more i think about it the more nervous i get.

We've been together for two years now and renting feels like throwing money away but sharing a 30 year mortgage before we're even married feels like a huge step, especially because we'd probably be putting in different amounts for the down payment.

Like what happens if we break up? what if neither of us can afford to keep the house?

I wanna be excited about it but my brain keeps going straight to the worst case scenarios

Am i overthinking this or would you guys wait until marriage?

I’m 38 and I live in Chengdu, China. After becoming unemployed, I started making videos about my everyday life.

Part of the reason is that I want to have a record of this time: what I do with my days, what I try, and how things change along the way. That includes the times when I’m still figuring things out and don’t have any clear answers.

I’m also wondering whether making videos could become a new direction for me. I want to give it a real try, see what I can make, and find out whether it’s something I’d want to keep doing.

At the moment, I’m still exploring. I’m documenting my daily life while figuring out whether I’d like to do this long term. I don’t know yet whether it could eventually become a job or simply remain a way to record my life.

I wanted to share where I’m at and hear from people who’ve been through something similar. Has anyone here tried something new after becoming unemployed in their thirties? How did you get started, and what helped you decide whether to stick with it?

For those who enjoy nonalcoholic wine or beer, what makes you prefer it over other drinks? I’m more of a social drinker myself, so I’m genuinely curious about the appeal, especially when it comes to taste!

When you finally hit the age of 30 that’s when life actually gets real and you realize you are 10 years away from being 40 😓 and you have no idea wtf you’re actually doing …

I’ve confirmed a date for Thursday. I always am unsure if I should message on the day and like at what time to confirm with her. I book and confirm about three days out but then what do I say on the day? I’m a very stupid 30 year old man. Always feels awkward sending a ‘See you tonight Laura!’

I’m turning 22 this week and I genuinely don’t know how I got here…

Usually I’m so excited for my birthday but this year I’ve just been feeling really down about it. And before anyone says it, I KNOW 22 is so young in the grand scheme of things. I’m not trying to act like my life is over at 22 lol. I think it’s more that this is the first time in my life where I’m really starting to notice just how much everything around me is changing and I don’t think I’m ready for it.

Even little things like family holidays. This is the first year my grandmother isn’t hosting Christmas because she’s getting older and just doesn’t have the strength anymore. Our big family gatherings aren’t what they used to be when we were kids. Everyone is older, everyone has their own lives, and it just feels so different now.

My parents are getting older too, which is something I genuinely hate thinking about. They’re in their 50s now, which obviously isn’t old, but in my head they’re still the same parents I remember from when I was little, in their 30s. I can literally close my eyes and picture them like that. And now I’m watching everyone around me age and it’s just such a weird feeling.

I’ve also been dealing with some health stuff recently, nothing serious thankfully, but it’s meant spending more time than usual in doctors’ offices. And honestly, just being in those environments and seeing so many older people who are sick has been such a weird reality check. I feel like the older I get, the more I hear about people getting diagnosed with some horrible disease or having some major health scare. Like on top of figuring out all the other adult responsibilities, now I also have to worry about potentially getting some life-threatening illness someday???

when I was younger I barely thought about any of this stuff. Now it feels like I’m constantly being reminded of how fragile life actually is, and it honestly makes growing up even scarier.

Even my friends. I’m so lucky to still have a close group of girlfriends and we obviously still see each other, but everyone’s doing their own thing now. Serious relationships, full-time jobs, finishing university, etc. Sometimes I’ll see people I grew up with on social media starting these milestones is so surreal because I can still vividly remember us being kids together.

And then there’s me. I’m in my last year of university and planning on going into teaching, which is something I’ve always wanted to do, but I genuinely cannot wrap my head around the fact that I’m almost done being a student. Like what do you mean I’m supposed to be the teacher now??? I still feel like I should be sitting in a classroom myself lol.

I think the scariest part is realizing that there aren’t really any more buffer years. When you’re younger, adulthood feels like this faraway thing that you have forever to prepare for. People ask you what you want to be when you grow up. And now suddenly people are asking what you’re actually doing with your life. It isn’t some distant future anymore. It’s the next stage.

And I know I’m very fortunate. I still live at home, my parents are incredibly supportive, and I haven’t even had to take on all the responsibilities that come with being a fully independent adult yet. Which honestly makes it even crazier because I already feel overwhelmed by how fast everything is changing. I miss when the biggest thing I had to worry about was what I was doing at recess the next day.

I don’t know. I guess I’m just having a hard time accepting that life doesn’t stay the same, even when you really wish it would. And it’s not even just about me getting older. It’s watching everyone and everything I’ve ever known get older and change along with me.

I guess my question is, how do you actually get through this stage of life? How do you learn to accept that everything is changing without constantly wishing you could go back? I know there’s so much to look forward to and I’m sure one day I’ll look back at 22 and wish I could be this age again lol.

For those who’ve experienced both, what actually made you happier in the long run?
Did you enjoy life, spend money, travel, and take risks while you were young? Or did you save, invest, build your career, and prioritize financial security?
Looking back, do you regret playing it too safe or being too reckless?
If you could relive your 20s, would you do anything differently?

I just want to make money. That's all.

There’s so many things to consider in life, I don’t know how anyone actually manages to balance everything without getting burnt out. Eating healthy home cooked meals, working out and looking after your body, ensuring you get the right vitamins and nutrients, maintaining your hygiene, shaving and grooming regularly, washing and making sure you constantly have clean clothes, cleaning the house/apartment, travelling, grocery shopping, dating, having a hobby, playing a sport, making time for friends and family, monitoring your mental wellbeing, getting the right amount of sleep, studying, working on your career, monitoring your finances, all while working a full time job. And if you have a family and kids, all of that suddenly gets so much harder. How does anyone find the time to comfortably keep up with all of this and not get burnt out? There is such little time in the day after work to get anything done.

Honestly I don’t know where to start or how to recover or am I just being a little bitch about this……long story short I went through the roughest year of my life and I’m kind of lost and can’t get out of my own head. I’m 40m when all of this stared in 2024 my dad was my best friend not saying we didn’t but heads but truly the guy I’d call for anything and everything. We would talk daily him being a contractor most of his life I’d get wake up calls at 5:30-6am
Me -helooo
Dad - hey good morning son. How you doing? What you got going on today.
Me - hmm I dunno dad maybe getting up and getting ready to go to work like I do every other day lol. I’ll call you when I’m on the road.
Dad - sounds good

I miss these calls so fucking much. So anyways my dad is diagnosed with cancer (a year or two after my aunt went into remission for breast cancer) not first ordeal with cancer my grandmother who I was close with battled cancer and lost her arm than life to it.
We immediately schedule appointments in San Antonio, Texas and San Diego, ca he does everything and then find some cancer in his brain. Go to extreme treatments that knock my pops on his ass but he battles we think he’s doing better and there’s no sign of cancer in his body other than brain and it’s shrinking.
Then in October he starts having some issues again but can’t figure out what’s going on. At the same time in October my eldest daughter(stepdaughter 18 gives birth prematurely 4 months. So my dad and grandson are both in same hospital trying to save both of them.

Eventually the figure out my that my dads cancer has gotten into his spinal fluid, were told months (6-12) but it was much faster it was 4-6 weeks from that point I was working all the time throughout this asked my boss about faking time off cause we had hospice at our house and she still had me working. I fucked up and didn’t stand up for my self and went to the office the Tuesday morning and came back to my dad unable to talk anymore (not even a week with hospice) he passed that night, I was back to work right away Friday and dealt with phone calls and emails Wednesday and Thursday as well, this is important for later. My father passed in February I fell apart, felt like a failure to him for not being there the days leading up. I know no one in my family would say I failed but I just felt like I did. I tried to bury myself into work but struggled with mental health depression and suicidal thoughts, even told my boss and went to psychologist cause it got very very bad. Never took action and didn’t want to but that all I could think about and how the world would be better with out me. There a lot going on here so have a grandson in NICU, 18 daughter struggling with some being in hospital. All while dealing with some of the worlds most narcissistic people for work (HOA management) and the one guy I want to ask for advice is gone. Alit if my so called friends went MIA which I don’t blame them im probably depressing to be around, ashamed of me because I’m not wealthy, got a grandson at 41, or I really wasn’t a good of a friend as I thought I was during their struggles and broken relationships or moving homes.

Sorry I’m spewing, soooo I became a grandpa in October than my dad lost his battle with cancer in February after a year and half battle couple days before Valentine’s Day. My grandson was released after my dad passed so they never got to meet…now my grandson is improving and growing up great I’m struggling with mental health but am on antidepressants and am at least aware of my battle with mental health. I lost a friend around the same time as my father who was only 40 and passed away to colon cancer leaving little boy and wife. Then in September 7 months after my dad died my grandson unexpectedly passed away (SIDS) it was a Saturday afternoon. This destroyed everyone in the family on top of everything and I had to be strong and supportive for everyone else. All I wanted to do was call my dad and ask him questions but couldn’t. The next day (Sunday September 21st) I call my boss after talking to my office manager I called my boss talked to her said I’m gonna need to bee out of the office for at least a few days cause this was so unexpected. Received a text from my boss the next day asking when I was gonna be in the office. I already said I needed to mourn so instead of snapping I stepped away and didn’t respond. Then on Wednesday saw my psychiatrist because I was really struggling so he said that after the year I had he thought should take medical leave from work for a bit and my mental health. I sent her my note from doctor Thursday morning saying that I’m going to need to step away from work for a bit. I was still planning on helping from home when I could but didn’t even have a chance to say that cause I was told I had abandoned my job. Because I didn’t respond to her text Monday with what time I was going to be in the office.
So over 8 months lost my dad, friend, grandson and job. Talk about fuck up no one hiring during the holidays either, it’s been a year and still just a fucking failure over here. I’m applying to jobs with no response because I’m with overqualified or under qualified. I’m struggling with depression still daily even on antidepressants but am scared to say anything cause I literally can’t afford anything else. Ohh yeah I’m sorry because during the last 4 years my fiancé lost her job and hasn’t gone back to work so I’ve been the one whose providing and I’m failing at that as well I’m just going deeper into debt.

How can I get out of my own head and try to get back on my feet even though every step forward is multiple steps back?

Sounds silly but I’m living in shelters and on the street. I keep getting opportunities for work, money, etc but I don’t have a place where I can communicate - I can’t hop on a zoom call. I have nowhere to do it.

Homeless shelters kick you out - they won’t let you stay there during the day when I need to be communicating with potential employers. I have nowhere where to do this

Normalize telling your children the truth about their family.
Who loved you. Who hurt you.
Who struggled with mental illness or addiction.
Family history isn't gossip. It's guidance. The truth helps break cycles, not continue them.

Boring. Healing is boring, but it is healthy. You asked for peace and love and shit the above, but I am grateful. Sometimes I believe it is hard to make friends as an almost 20-year old adult.

I believe there are people that will stay and will go. I am not ignoring that, it is just because life is boring and in the end, you really only have yourself.

I feel like I am in deep transformation, spiritually, and it might be taking a toll on me. Yes, the universe is giving me what I asked for. Peace, love, and abundance. Whether if you believe it or not.

Has anyone experienced something similar and does it get better? What are your thoughts or stories?