Hey everyone! So, I'm about to meet my girlfriend this weekend after a long time, and we've been talking about and looking forward to finally getting that moment together. I'm honestly really excited but also kinda nervous because, well, it's a first for us, and I have absolutely no idea what to expect haha.

I've been curious about this for a while, so I'd love to hear how it was for you guys!

For those of you who had your first kiss during or after long distance, how did it actually happen? Was it something you planned beforehand, or did it just happen naturally in the moment? Who made the first move? Was it awkward at first, or did it feel natural?

And more than just how it happened, I'm really curious about how it felt. Like, what was going through your mind right before it happened? What did it physically and emotionally feel like in that moment? Did it feel surreal after spending so much time apart and finally getting to be together in person? What was it like immediately afterward? Did you get shy, laugh, hug each other, or just sit there taking it all in? Did it change anything between you two, or was it just a sweet moment that you kept thinking about afterward?

I know everyone's experience is different, but I'd genuinely love to hear the little details too, even the awkward or unexpected ones. I guess I'm just trying to get a glimpse of what that moment might be like for us.

So yeah, tell me your stories! I'm all ears :))

So we were talking celebrity crushes. I said that mine was Bad Bunny. He called him ugly and insisted that BB isn’t attractive. I insisted that BB is attractive in my opinion. I had to give arguments because he wouldn’t stop saying meh he’s ugly. So I said : “He is tall and I love that. and he has a nice butt, body, face…” it turned into “oh yeah? You like everything that isn’t me” and basically, my boyfriend is very attractive, he is shorter and is self conscious about it so I started being romantic, telling him that I love him and that he’s the love of my life and we fell for each other in a special way and no bad or good bunny will change that. SO that’s when he irritated me, he stayed silent then said thank you , i love you too. I was like wtf? Is that all? No says he doesn’t have anything more to say to me. I WAS HURT.

I tried to talk to him, like I was just pouring my heart into you and that’s what I get? We talked, I expressed that I’m disappointed, he apologized and I wasn’t having it. If you love someone, and they pour their heart for you, you’re at least be happy and react accordingly. I asked a direct question, “is the spark gone” he said “it is less exciting but I still love you” THAT PISSED ME OFF.

He was saying some shit like oh before we used to talk 24h, now we talk when we want to, I said yes, that’s called PEACE. We are not chasing each other, we have each other now and that’s peaceful. I expressed my disappointment with his words. I told him that he doesn’t compliment me like before, tried to talk about somethings but he said that our relationship changed that’s why we are not the same after 4 years.

He called after that conversation, we argued some more.

What do you think?

So I just got back to America from Japan a few days ago spending a week with the girl I’ve now made my girlfriend after meeting in April and being long distance for half a year. We had a bunch of good dates over that past week and everything went smoothly for the most part. So come yesterday she said she missed me which naturally I replied I missed her too, and with Christmas being around the corner, I mentioned if she’d like to spend Christmas with me, to which she excitedly said yes too.

So later yesterday evening, I ended up buying the ticket and everything was ok. She was of course excited, being able to come to America to spend time with me on Christmas nonetheless, but when she told her friend about it, her friend said something that rubbed me the wrong way. Her friend basically said “Are you sure you won’t be killed?”. My girl randomly texted me later saying “Please don’t kill me”, and when I asked where this came from, she said her friend brought it up. Obviously, I thought that was absurd of the friend to say, considering I was there last week in Japan and she knew about my relationship with her. I could brush this off as normal worrying for a friend, but to say “Are you sure you won’t be killed” just didn’t sit right with me. My girl says she trusts me so that’s all that matters so I’m happy she does. Would like to hear others thoughts on this. Thank you!

Hi everyone!

I'd really appreciate some advice, especially from people who have been in a similar situation.

I'm 24F from Italy, and my boyfriend is 21M from the UK.

We've been together for 2 years, although we've known each other for 3. We started out as online friends, and after a year, we met in person and decided to pursue a relationship.

So far, things have been going really well.

Since we're both university students and I don't have mandatory attendance, I've been the one travelling most of the time. I've even stayed at his house for up to 3 weeks at a time! For the past two years, we've generally managed to see each other every 2 months.

Unfortunately, things are changing.

I'm in the final year of my degree, and due to the costs of travelling, I'll only be able to afford visiting him every 4 months from now on.

I don't want to keep relying on my parents financially, so this is something I'll have to accept for the time being.

We both love each other very much and want to build a future together once we've finished university.

My boyfriend is quite optimistic about the situation because he sees it as temporary: once he finishes university, he plans to help me move to the UK so we can finally live together.

I want to be able to look at things the same way, but honestly, I'm struggling with the thought of going 4 months without seeing him.

Even though we talk every day and our relationship is otherwise healthy, I'm worried that such long gaps between visits might eventually affect our connection or make us feel more distant.

For those of you in long-distance relationships who only get to see your partner rarely, how do you cope with it?

Does having such long gaps between visits affect your bond over time, or have you found ways to maintain the same level of closeness?

I'd also love to hear from couples who used to see each other more frequently but had to reduce their visits because of university, finances, or other circumstances.

I know every relationship is different, but hearing about other people's experiences would really help me feel less anxious about this. ❤️

I'm 36, he's 48. We only met over a month ago when I was in France on holiday. I live in Australia. I haven't used dating apps in Australia for 2 years because I find them so depressing and I'd rather meet someone in real life, but I used Tinder last time I went to France and had one of the best dates I've ever had, not particularly for the guy but because of the spontaneity of what we did.

Anyway, I decided to use it again this time. And I met this guy on a Tuesday and I was leaving France on the Friday to go to Greece to spend the weekend before meeting a friend the next week. Anyway, I had such a great time with this guy and I was sad I wasn't going to see him again. Long story short, we saw each other again on the Wed and Fri and I said why don't you come to Greece for the weekend and he did and we had the best time, like it couldn't have gone better and I felt this connection and ease I've never felt before and I'm 36. We were just so into each other. Fast forward to now, we've been messaging every day and we video call in the weekends. And we've booked to go to Vietnam at Christmas time! Just for a week though.

The thing is I'm worried what if it goes really well and we do feel a strong connection. How the heck could we make it work when we live on opposite sides of the world and both have full time jobs? Like we probably wouldn't be able to see each other for another 8 months. That's ridiculous.

I do have a French passport and family where he lives, so I could move there and live there one day but that seems far too extreme at this stage but it is a far possibility. I'm just so scared I'm setting myself up for major heartbreak but then again what's the other option? Not even give it a go? At least see what Vietnam will be like? Any advice? Is it worth it? He does make my heart melt and I've never really had that. Quite a lot of guys have liked me, but I often don't feel the same way but with this guy, it just felt so easy and I'd find myself smiling being like damn I'm so attracted to him.

Edit: Typo in the caption he is 27. I’m 18, and he’s 27. We’ve been in a long-distance relationship for six months, and he visits me once or twice a year. He’s also thinking about moving here.

I know the age gap is significant, and I know that we got together when I was 17. I understand why people might be concerned, and honestly, I’ve been questioning things myself. I trust him, but I’m also scared of the possibility of being groomed, and I think he can sense that I’m sometimes on the defensive.

I struggle with communicating my feelings, but when he notices that I have a lot on my mind, especially when it concerns our relationship, he gives me space rather than pushing me to talk. I appreciate that, but I still worry about becoming too emotionally dependent on him, especially with me about to start university and enter a completely new chapter of my life.

I guess I’m looking for perspectives from people who’ve been in similar relationships, particularly those who’ve experienced a significant age gap at a young age. How did you navigate it? What did you learn from the experience? How did you distinguish between a healthy relationship and one that might be unhealthy in ways you couldn’t recognise at the time?

I’m not necessarily looking for people to tell me whether I should stay with him or leave him. I just want honest perspectives from people who understand what it’s like to be in this position.

I have dated a little and experimented before him, but I honestly didn't really like the experiences I had. With him, I feel much safer and more comfortable, which is part of why this relationship means so much to me.

We've talked about our different life stages, and he told me that he'd expected to spend the rest of his life single, so he doesn't mind waiting for me to finish university and figure things out. Still, I can't help wondering whether, when I'm 20, I should take a break from the relationship to experience more things independently, or whether that's something I'm overthinking.

The truth is, I really want this relationship to last. I'm just scared of missing out on experiences I might need to have at my age, or becoming so attached to him that I lose sight of myself and my own future. At the same time, I don't want to throw away a relationship that genuinely makes me feel safe just because other people think I should be doing something different.

I'm not asking anyone to blindly approve of our relationship. I genuinely want honest advice, especially from people who've been in age-gap relationships that started when they were young. I want to understand what I should be looking out for, how to maintain my independence, and whether it's possible to grow into adulthood alongside someone who's already at a very different stage of life.

I'm sorry if this sounds confusing. I just wish people could understand that I can love him and want this to last while still having fears and questions about what it means for my future.

I was curious to those who have moved to another country to be with their partner, how did you feel?

I’m currently planning my wedding and I know that I’ll be moving from the UK to the US in a few years but I sometimes can’t fathom how far away I’ll be from my family.

I’m happy with my decision to do this because where my partner lives has become my second home and I want to build a life there. And his family are a great support system and I already have some great friends there, so I know I’ll never be alone.
It feels kinda sad to leave my childhood home but I know that it’s time to be an adult!

Hey everyone,

I'm a student who just started university not long ago and before I left I have been fortunate enough to meet the most loving person Ive ever met.

Unfortunately, given that we both chose different countries to study in and that we are still freshmen, there's no way we can fly and go visit each other often.

Right now, I'm planning a trip to visit her whilst I still have an OK amount of money lying around. She's really happy and we both can't wait to see each other again but I know that after this trip in December it is very unlikely that I have enough on me to do another one, meaning we'd have to wait all the way until August next year to meet.

It's going to be really hard. I just know it, and I think she knows it too. For those who have gone thru the same thing, how did you guys make it out? Was there a feeling you had that just tells you that she's the one? Anything would help.

Thanks to everyone

Hi all! I’m (24f) Currently in an LDR with my boyfriend (28m) for almost a year.

I live/work in the UK and he used to live here before moving back to our home country just before we met.

We had another long sit down conversation as to how we will eventually close the gap. The issue is he doesn’t want to come back to London because he didn’t like his time here. He visits me often but cannot see himself living here.

I don’t want to move back our home country because in the line of work I do, I would have to do extra years of schooling and would never be able to achieve as much as I have done here.

We have both decided to move to America in about 2/3 years as the idea agreed with us both. We both have familiar/ friendship ties there and hold citizenship there by birth so no visa issues or anything. I don’t think either of us would struggle to get decent jobs, at least ones to get us in our feet.

We have both often visited there but neither have ever lived there for a substantial amount of time.

All of this to ask, if you and your LDR partner closed the gap by moving to a new place/country for you both, how did you find it? What worked/didnt work?

Just looking for any advice as it’s a scary jump!

Thank you all in advance

I’m a 26F and have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about three years. Ever since we met I’ve had the idea of moving to his country. At first, it was like a dream of mine and he just happened to come into the picture.

A couple years later and we’re still together. It has always made sense in every possible way that I’m the one who moves (and he has made it clear he is not ready to do that or could do anything in my country due to his profession). But for some reason, now that we’re looking into the visa process, I find myself questioning over and over if I will truly be happy there.

I love a lot of his country. I have had the pleasure of visiting it many times now, but I have also seen and heard a lot of stories of people moving there and their struggle to find housing, jobs, friends, etc. and for once, I truly like my life in my own country/city.

If you had given me the option to move 2-4 years ago, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat. But now… I’m not so sure. The thing is, part of me has always had that dream to live abroad. Yet, I’m soooo scared right now. I wonder if I’ll ever feel TRULY ready or if I have to do it despite not feeling ready.

I also know if tomorrow I woke up and I told him that I’m not ready (and I wouldn’t be in a couple of years) then I’d be seriously damaging the relationship. We’re both so tired of the distance. And I do want a life with him, it’s just the thought of me having to change every single aspect of my life to have that, that it’s not doing it for me right now.

I wanna hear your experiences and advice.

I’m in a long-distance marriage (10 months) with 12 hr time difference, and we still have about a year left until we finally live together. I struggle with anxious attachment and emotional dependency. Lately, I’ve been trying to understand how to manage it in a healthier way.

My husband is not a bad partner. He still makes an effort to stay in touch, calls me, and shows care in his own ways.

However, I’ve noticed some changes in our dynamic. Earlier, we had more spontaneous texts, snaps, reels, affectionate moments, and playful, effortless conversations. We also had a daily call, mostly by video on work-from-home days.

Everything felt very sparkly, and I felt very loved and chosen. Lately, our interactions have felt less spontaneous, and our calls have definitely decreased. Now, we usually have one video call on Sundays and two or three audio calls during the week.

Texting and other forms of communication outside our regular calls have also decreased. Even when we do call, the conversations can feel shorter or more routine. We have less to talk about now.

I also recognise that people get busy and have different communication preferences. He has had family issues recently, too. Those issues are better now, but they may have left him drained. People also go through different phases.

He is still affectionate sometimes, but the frequency of these things has changed.

At times, it feels like he is simply out of the infatuation phase, while I am still more emotionally caught up in it. I may still be stuck in that phase, which could be creating a mismatch.

It hurts because silence feels normal to him, while I feel an urge to fill it. I sometimes expect him to fill it, too. When he doesn’t, I become insecure and wonder whether his love is changing. Like I'm sensitive Abt teeny tiniest things that happen between us.

I’m also very hyper-observant. If he replies less or his reply seems less enthusiastic, I feel sad and anxious. Amid all of this, I grieve and deeply miss the initial version of our marriage, which felt very sparkly and full of affection and effort.

I did talk things through with him and told him about my anxious attachment. He is a very logical person, so he struggles to understand my attachment issues sometimes.

Still, he says that he is just a bit moody sometimes. He reassures me that nothing has changed and that nothing will change. He also says that I should become more comfortable with silence sometimes.

The difficult part is that becoming more self-aware has made me question everything. I’ve started measuring calls, counting texts, noticing who initiates, analysing changes in his tone, and wondering whether I’m asking for too much.

Instead of helping me feel secure, this awareness sometimes makes me even more conscious of every little interaction.

Deep down, I worry about being in a relationship while still feeling lonely because my needs are not being met in the way I want. At the same time, I know relationships do not always work exactly that way.

On my end, I’ve tried journaling and keeping myself busy with hobbies. I also try not to ruminate on conversations that did not go well or did not happen as I expected.

Sometimes, I try not to chase him. I hold myself back from filling every silence. However, it all feels overwhelming at times, and I sometimes become resentful.

I don’t want to depend on my husband’s attention to feel okay, chosen, or prioritised. However, I also don’t want to suppress my need for affection and connection.

I don’t want to become so focused on detachment that I stop enjoying the relationship. I want to work on myself without becoming emotionally distant or losing the playful, affectionate side of me.

For those who have dealt with anxious attachment or emotional dependency in an LDR, what actually helped you?

How did you stop monitoring every interaction, tolerate the distance, and build a fulfilling life while still allowing yourself to miss your partner?

Just a heads up I can’t get therapy due to some reasons , so I prefer advice on things I can do on my own to make things better for myself.

I have another year of long distance ahead, and I genuinely want to make this period healthier for both of us. I’m looking for practical advice

I’m looking for some honest advice and support because I’m really struggling with my relationship at the moment, and I feel like I’ve reached a point where I don’t know how to move forward.

My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for over four years. He’s in the US and I’m in the UK. He’s not just my partner, he’s my best friend, and I’ve always imagined us eventually closing the distance and building a life together.

Things have been difficult recently, and we now haven’t properly spoken for over a week. When we do speak, the conversations are painful, and he has started threatening to end the relationship.

He keeps saying that relationships shouldn’t be this hard and that things used to be easy between us. I understand what he means to an extent. I miss when things felt effortless, too. I miss laughing together, feeling close, and not worrying about where we stand. But I also feel like relationships inevitably go through difficult periods, especially when you’re long-distance and trying to work towards a future together. I don’t think the answer is that things should never be hard; I think it’s about whether both people are willing to work through the hard parts together.

The original disagreement was about communication. He was going to be late, and I was hurt that he didn’t let me know. He basically was 5 hours late and I was worried about him and he didn’t communicate with me at all. For me, it wasn’t about needing constant updates or controlling what he does. It was about consideration and a quick message when plans change.

When I tried to explain why it upset me, I felt the conversation became about whether he’d done anything wrong and whether my feelings were justified, rather than trying to understand each other. This is something I’ve been struggling with for a while. I often feel that when I raise something that’s hurt me, the conversation turns into a defence of his intentions, and I end up feeling unheard.

I sent him a video that explained a relationship dynamic I felt I could relate to, where someone focuses on defending themselves rather than understanding the impact their actions have had. He responded by saying the person in the video was completely wrong and that my interpretation of him wasn’t accurate.

I understand that he might disagree with the video. I wasn’t trying to label him or tell him he’s a bad person. I was trying to find a way to explain how I’ve been feeling because I was struggling to put it into words myself.

Another thing that has really upset me is that he has said I have mood swings and that he tracks my mood using ChatGPT. I don’t fully understand what he means by tracking my mood or exactly what he’s doing, but hearing that my boyfriend is keeping track of my moods in this way has made me uncomfortable and hurt.

I can understand wanting to recognise patterns in a relationship or trying to make sense of difficult conversations. I’m not saying he’s not allowed to have his own feelings or talk through his experiences. But the way it was presented to me made me feel as though I was being monitored or analysed, rather than spoken to as a partner. Being told I have mood swings also feels quite hurtful when I’m trying to explain that I’m upset about something specific.

He doesn’t seem to understand why either of these things upset me. I feel like I’m constantly trying to explain not just what I’m feeling, but why I’m allowed to feel that way in the first place.

I know I’m not perfect. I can get upset, anxious and frustrated, particularly when I feel disconnected from him or uncertain about our future. I’m willing to reflect on my own behaviour and acknowledge where I could do better. But I don’t think having emotions or raising concerns should automatically mean that I’m being unreasonable.

Now, whenever we speak, I feel like the relationship itself is hanging over my head. He’s saying things shouldn’t be this difficult and bringing up ending things, and I’m left feeling frightened that the person I love most is going to walk away.

I don’t know whether he’s genuinely decided he doesn’t want this anymore, whether he’s overwhelmed, or whether we’re both stuck in a cycle that neither of us knows how to break. I don’t want to assume I know what’s going on in his head.

I just know that I want to fix things. I want to understand his feelings and frustrations, and I want him to understand mine. I want us to be able to disagree without it turning into a threat to the entire relationship. I want to feel like we’re on the same team again.

But I’m exhausted from trying to explain myself in different ways and hoping he’ll understand. I can’t fix our relationship on my own, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep trying when I don’t feel we’re making any progress together.

I’m not really sure what to do at this point and I have felt awful for over a week now…

I'm very unwell at the moment...and this is just how I like to connect with people... besides, all my music is free for everyone to do as they please with it. I don't make any money off of it. It's my gift to humanity and I thought I'd share it with you all.

This is a piece I wrote for my first love. Her name in Thai is Nok, which means bird. I don’t normally give too much of a backstory on my compositions, but this one is special.

We were 19 and I was living in the north of Thailand. It was my first time away from home (Thunder Bay, Ontario), and we were sitting on a bench overlooking the beautiful Nan River. The moon was so bright that night that it illuminated the golden hue of the surrounding temples... and she held my hand for the first time. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday.

I’m 34 now, and quietly, we have gone through life together. Even though we are both going through our own individual challenges, we love each other deeply, and I’m so grateful to still have her in my life.

We haven't seen each other in person in over 15 years...

So let me take you to Thailand, back to that night, the conversation we had, my feelings for her, and the life journey we are traveling through.

What if you have known her for 6 months physically, and then had to do LD - it's been over 1,5 year now - is that too short to keep a LD alive?

What makes you decide to break up rather than keep trying, especially when you can't realistically close the distance for another 2-3 years because of career opportunities?

Me and my bf have been together for 2 months now, we met on a mutual server on discord and some people in his life so know that he's dating me, he's not told them much details about me though or shown them a picture of me, and even on the mutual server were on I don't know either. We've talked about having a future together, seeing each other soon, moving in together, kids etc. He's also told me he told his friends about me and that he's bragged about me to people on other servers, but he's not invited me to his friends servers or servers that he has friends/ talks regularly on yet. I went through something similar in my last relationship as well (i also met him on discord) where i kind of had to beg him to make it known that he was dating me and he also apparently told his family but didn't show them a picture of me or give much detail, but he had also said he saw a future with me. It made me question if my bf isn't sure if me or if he's not proud of having me as a gf, it also just made me feel like what is it about me that in relationships they don't wanna show me off? Maybe If I was prettier? Maybe it's the way I act? I don't get what I'm doing wrong, but it's been only been 2 months Maybe it's too soon?

I’ve been long distance with my gf for about a year and a half into college and the first semester was great, then 2nd semester I had bits of doubt pop up, now its my 3rd semester and I’m debating on weather to stay. We have a genuinely great, loving, and healthy relationship but I keep having this gut feeling that I can’t ignore. I keep trying to investigate it and figure out why, but all I can land on is that it’s my first ever relationship and a) I have a curiosity to explore and learn what I need in a relationship through experiences and a fear of settling for the first person without seeing what’s out there and b) I’m being influenced by social media, my parent, and people around me that this is a time in my life I should be single and exploring.

But I really don’t want to through away a good relationship when everything else is good and I can’t point to a specific thing that’s “wrong”. So a couple of questions:
1. How do you conquer a curiosity about other options in your first relationship without exploring?
2. How do you feel comfortable in a LDR when your uncertain about the future rightness but know now feels good?
3. How do you actively figure out if someone is right for you while a distance apart?

my boyfriend (M29) and I (F28) have been doing long distance for over 3 years. almost a year and a half in different continents, and 2 years in the same country but different cities. we finally both have jobs in the same city, in a third country for both of us, and just moved in together. here’s our first night together meal :)
i’m over the moon! it still feels unreal🥹 so here’s some happy story that it’s possible to survive long distance, and it’s possible to make it happen even in a country where neither is native. moments like this are worth every part of the struggle ❤️

We were in a relationship for months and months before we dated and then met in person and spent a lot of time together. To be honest it was so natural from the “first” meeting. Just like I expected or better. But at the same time some challenges occurred and after a few weeks the “in person” gap felt and there were so many things we did by default that we assumed were ok ugh. However it was a great experience and I am so glad we took this step. Now we’re looking forward to the next meeting. How was your in person experience if you dated online first?

It honestly blows my mind that it’s almost been seven months since Benjy and I found each other.

Seven months of getting to know each other, learning each other’s little quirks, laughing until we can’t breathe, figuring out long distance, crossing an ocean to be together, and making memories I never thought I’d get to make.

It hasn’t always been perfect. We’ve had hard moments, misunderstandings, distance, and days where things felt incredibly difficult. But somehow, through all of it, I’m still incredibly grateful that our paths crossed.

From a random Bumble match to Scotland, video calls, meeting family, countless messages, and all the little moments in between… it’s crazy to think how much life can change in seven months.

I don’t know exactly what the future will look like, but I do know that I’m thankful for the love, memories, and lessons these seven months have brought me.

Here’s to almost seven months with my favorite Scot. ❤️

hello! it’s my first time asking for opinions on reddit so please be patient with me lol.

i’m a 20F in college and my boyfriend is also 20 in college. we’re both in college for music, but i go to school in TN and he goes in NY. we started dating my senior year of high school and we are now in our third year of college.

we had to first go long distance in 2024, and i remember it being a really hard adjustment. we’ve had some issues with it, but generally speaking, whenever i ask for him to do something better or change something he listens.

however, since 2024, i have been asking for one thing: little actions and reminders of love. i’ve told him that i need that sort of connection long distance because we have no other option besides phone calls. but even then, we are both incredibly busy. most nights we don’t talk until 10-11pm and we’re both exhausted and half asleep. conversation has not been great. so i need small things from him to feel loved from afar. some things i’ve done for him/asked him to do for me are send me a letter, mobile order me a coffee from afar, plan roblox date nights, etc. just small reminders that he loves me and thinks about me.

it’s been 2 years and he NEVER does it consistently long distance, and it’s starting to really hurt. when we’re together in person, he’ll normally do little things for me which is very sweet, but he rarely plans anything. i love him more than anything and when we’re together in person, i really feel like he’s the one. it just gets really hard to love from afar when i don’t feel like im receiving much. i’ve expressed my frustrations multiple times and he always tells me he loves me more than anything and that he’ll get better for me. maybe i should believe him this time? any advice?