THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

Had to get a new primary doctor due to my insurance changing (I'm in the US). I made the appointment specifically to get a refill on my testosterone.

She asked me about my prescriptions etc and when we got to my testosterone she asks, "what do you take the testosterone for? Do you have hypogonadism?"

I was actually confused for a second and then I had a little inside laugh, smiled, and said, "I'm transgender."

She goes, "Oh!!" And then said something along the lines of "that's great" lol. There was a trainee with her and they both looked so surprised.

I know I pass pretty well but it was funny to go to the doctor specifically for HRT, have transgender marked on my form and still have the dr be like, "your cis, right?"

Heya everyone. For some background my wife is enby and uses they/them, but still prefers being called a wife and considers themselves a lesbian in a wlw relationship.

They have brought up trying testosterone several times now over the last few months, because they'd like a deeper voice and more muscle mass, but quickly claw it back citing the body hair, clitoral changes, etc. being too much. I've suggested they look into voice training and they might do that. I don't know. We've recently ordered a binder for them too, and it should be here soon.

What brings me here is a mounting anxiety that they are an egg. I want to support them if they want to transition, or at least masculinize and still identify as enby if that's what they want. But I also know I'm not attracted to men/masculinity, and picturing the features about them I adore changing in ways I've been haunted by my whole life (and recently escaped) has my dysphoria triggered. (Eg. facial hair, a thousand dollars of laser later and I'm still shaving xD).

My predicament is I don't want to bring it up and then scare them off of trying T if that's what they really want to do, and then being stuck pretending to be something they aren't. I've been there and done that it sucks I never want to be the reason they do that.

But also they really value my input and if I wait until after they've done it to tell them I'm no longer attracted to them (I mean maybe I'll still be, I'm willing to try and see what happens) they might wish I told them beforehand.

I could toss a coin honestly I have no idea what the right decision is. Hoping someone can help shed some light on this. Like pre-transition would you want your current partner to be honest about that up front, and risk putting off transition out of fear, or not know until later?

I'm leaning toward not saying anything and just seeing what they do and what happens and just being as supportive as possible but I just don't know.

It finally sunk in. I know I’m trans, but at the same time I don’t believe it. I grew up in a fundamentalist family. My parents won’t disown me, but they’ll never accept me. I’m 5’1”. I’m slight. I’m nothing, pathetic. I’d never pass. I don’t want to exist. I know T would help my mood and outlook, but I’ll never be seen as anything other than a girl freak. How am I queer and accepting of other people, but hate myself so much? I feel like it’d be better for my family, myself, everyone, if I just go deep into the woods. I cannot imagine a life worth living. I’m falling apart.

Hey everyone. I'm looking for an outside perspective on a situation I've been trying to make sense of for almost two years.

I became close to a guy at university shortly after he left a toxic four-year relationship. His sexuality seemed to fluctuate a lot: sometimes he identified as bisexual, sometimes straight, sometimes he talked about being curious about sleeping with men, and at one point he described himself as a “straight Christian- none of that is inherently wrong, but it was so confusing? the hell man?

Our friendship involved what felt like ambiguous flirting. He constantly compared me to his ex, saying my humor, interests, and personality reminded him of her. Things got even more confusing when he slept with a mutual female friend after flirting with both of us, albeit differently: he was more openly sexual with her, while with me there was a mix of sexual insinuations and emotional intimacy. He eventually rejected me and started dating her, only to break up with her over text two weeks later and immediately start messaging me every day again.

In private, he was emotionally vulnerable with me and seemed to seek me out away from his other friends. But whenever I tried to discuss the flirting, the comparisons to his ex, or even a night when we shared a bed and he rubbed himself against me and touched me, he became defensive and changed the subject in a passive-aggressive way. Eventually, we had a major argument because I couldn't understand what I meant to him or why he treated me so differently in private and around other people. I decided not to attend a group trip because I couldn't bear spending several days in the same house with someone who was treating me so badly. He messaged me first, we argued again, I called him a coward, and he blocked me on WhatsApp. He didn't block me on Instagram, though, and his behavior there continued to confuse me until I eventually sent him a long message explaining how I felt and blocked him to get closure.

Since then, his behavior around me at university has often felt deliberately hostile. Even mutual friends have commented that he goes out of his way to make things uncomfortable. We're now in our fifth year, and I finally decided to approach him privately and ask for something simple: we don't have to be friends, but could we at least be civil around each other?

His reaction was unexpectedly aggressive. He repeatedly insisted that he wanted nothing to do with me, never wanted to see me again, and felt absolutely nothing toward me. He said I had hurt him deeply, and that he had chosen to prioritize himself but then kept emphasizing how indifferent he was to me, even though I hadn't asked whether he cared about me and 'wouldn't care to say hi if it makes me feel good but he won't even care about me', to then say 'greeting me would be an enormous effort he will never do'. Whenever I asked what I'd actually done to hurt him so badly, he changed the subject. When I pointed out how passive-aggressive he was being, he laughed and sarcastically agreed that he was “the most passive-aggressive person ever.” The whole interaction felt less like someone calmly setting a boundary and more like someone trying to hurt me. A friend witnessed part of it and later agreed that he'd gone too far.

Recently, I also found out that he'd apparently been talking to another friend about how stressed he got over the fact that I'd called him a coward. She was tired of hearing him go on about it. This confused me because, during our conversation, he'd insisted over and over that I meant absolutely nothing to him. Yet he apparently kept bringing me up to other people, focusing on the insult without discussing the complicated history between us.

I understand that he doesn't want to be my friend, and I'm not trying to change his mind. What I can't make sense of is the intensity of his hostility, his insistence that he's completely indifferent to me, and the fact that he apparently remains so bothered by what happened.

Am I reading too much into this, or does his behavior suggest that there's something unresolved here? I'm not necessarily asking whether he was attracted to me. I'm more interested in understanding why someone would react so intensely when... we used to be friends. I mean. Even if you don't want me to be part of your life anymore, why would you be so cruel?

Stupid question because I’d say it is FUCKED.

FYI I am not living with my parents anymore I escaped that bigoted household and I’m finally on T 3 months :D I worked so fucking hard to get out and it wasn’t easy especially with this shit ass economy. I’m pursuing big goals for my career but atm to sustain myself i have to work two jobs just to afford things and no thanks to this shitty economy reaching my goals will be much longer and harder and i don’t want to slave away to billionaires forever.

Anyways,

My parents proposed: If you slow down your transition or take a lower dose and still look presentable to family and us we will help you financially paying for a car for you.

Sounds enticing right? For me at least it will shave off my bills and make my life easier.

Firstly why was this not done in the first place? Maybe instead of forcing me to pay for your fucking car I could have throughout my time living with you guys and saving paid off a good used car while the car market hasn’t gone to shit.

Secondly, while this may sound good to them this is not how hormones work I want to fully pass. There is no such thing as take hormones to a certain level because taking a lower dose will just slow down the inevitable not cap it or whatever. And they don’t get to control or micromanage how much I take for their selfish asses.

They still don’t understand how debilitating my dysphoria is and still claim being trans is a mental illness so who the fuck do they think they are telling me to slow down what I want? really the only reason they ask for this is because “they don’t want me to suffer” or “they want to keep me around for them and the family”. I’m in a family of transphobes and bigots and no one will want to accept me and my whole fucking family will spit on my parents for having a trans kid if they figured out.

I will be talking to them further about it because this is the most evil fucking thing I’ve heard from them. They have done a whole list of things that have fucked me up ever since I came out 3 yrs ago before I moved out. (Lesson learned never come out before you move out because that’s playing Russian roulette with yo life)

I mean shit I almost killed myself after year 3 of coming out to them because of how bad my dysphoria (mostly that) got and shit from my parents. then you wouldn’t have to fucking see me at all selfish pricks.

TLDR: my parents offered to pay for a car for me or help me pay off a car of my own if I slow down my transitioning/cap it at a “presentable” point.

I'm officially 4 weeks post op for top surgery. I'm having some spitting sutures that's causing one part of my incision to keep opening up so I'm stuck in the compression binder a little longer to help keep pressure on that area...

BUT

i was given the ok to finally stop dressing my nipples and I'm so excited. Prior to surgery my nipples were so unbearably sensitive it was painful. If I didn't wear a bra that kept my chest fairly still I'd be in agony within minutes feeling like my nips were being assaulted by a belt sander. And they were always like that from puberty. 20 straight years of wearing a bra 24/7 to manage the pain. And now they're free. I'm so excited to get this binder off and just wear a shirt. Just a shirt. And not fear the nipple destruction 😭💚

I (36 ftm) have been on testosterone for 9 years on and off (thanks American health care) and have been having some medical symptoms that seem like menopause or perimenopause - I haven’t had the chance to talk to my doctor about it yet because again, American health care, but was wondering if any elder trans men have had experience with this? I have not had any type of bottom surgery, including not having a hysterectomy. Help or help in the correct direction would be appreciated.

Originally from the bay but I’ve moved to Chicago for my masters, and I’m now more openly trans. I’m coming home for winter break and want to make some new friends. Where do yall congregate

This is a question for the folks who were lucky enough to start T before turning 18.

For some more context, I am a 15 y/o with pretty supportive parents. The only issue is that they refuse to let me on testosterone because they're afraid of health issues coming up after I start (my cousin's ex roommate got cancer from taking HRT so now they're crazy paranoid). But I am more concerned about my mental health if I DON'T start. Everyday I get more and more depressed from my intense dysphoria and it feels like it's killing me. I'd be super grateful if any of my luckier trans brothers could share how they managed to convince their parents, especially if anyone had a situation similar to mine.

Spoke with my provider today, and while looking over my bloods, she brought this up. Thankfully, right now, my hematocrit levels are within normal range, but I was told that were they to go above a certain threshold, we'd have to lower my dosage.

So in my confusion I was just sort of like "Yeah sure, okay", but now that I'm actually thinking about it, is there really no other way? What if I were a cis guy with high hematocrit? What would they do then? It might never happen, but I want to be prepared if it does, because the last thing I want is to lower my dosage if there's something else I can do.

I’m almost a year and a half on T, and I feel so ugly. Before transitioning, I was decently pretty and got compliments from strangers regularly. I hated being a girl but at least I got compliments. Now, after starting T, I don’t get any compliments from strangers at all. I’m happier being seen as a boy, but I feel so much worse about my appearance. I’ve seen other posts on here about people feeling like this when being on T for about 2-6 months.. Even though I’ve been on it for longer, do I just need to wait it out a bit more? Do any of you have advice on how to feel a bit better about my appearance? Please let me know.

I was on the bus the other day, and it was pretty full. An older guy gets on the bus and has to either stand or choose to sit next to someone, because there are only a few seats open and they’re next to people. He visibly debates whether to sit next to me or across the aisle from me next to someone else, and then sits next to me. Now, I have no idea whether he sat next to me for this reason or not, but the other person was a girl who looked about my age (college age) and my assumption is that he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. That’s my theory, cause there wasn’t really any other difference between the two seats besides that. I think before transitioning I might’ve been nervous about an older guy like that sitting right next to me, but I didn’t feel like that at all that day. I was just happy that he thought I was a safe space to help him give someone else a safe space, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I thought that was a cool interaction!

Tldr: every haircut ive gotten has done me dirty, how do you guys find good ones (especially for guys pre-transition and early in transition)

Ive been out as a trans man for 6 years, and in those six years I've gotten maybe 5 haircuts (not counting the times I cut my own hair a little bit to avoid getting it cut professionally)

Every time I hype myself up enough to get my hair cut I end up leaving feeling incredibly ugly, ive never had a haircut where I 100% felt like I looked good and masculine.

Last year in February I got my haircut but i didnt know what to get and told the guy to just give me something masculine that'll still look good. The haircut itself was really good it just didnt suit my face shape but it grew out into the most perfect hairstyle after a few months but I didnt want to get it cut when it looked good so I waited too long and then I got my haircut again this August and it was honestly the worst haircut I've ever had.

I have naturally really thick hair but when its short its super straight, when its longer its wavy. My hair looked like the top of a mushroom and I had to ask my friends mom to cut it better but it was so different from my inspo Pic in the end (inspo picture was ME a year ago btw)

My dead name was Mia. I’m Italian. At 13, the great idea was to turn it masculine, since I liked the sound of the old name. So now my name is Mio. It’s not common, but I still like it very much. Now years have passed and it not being common wouldn’t be that big of a deal to me, if not for the fact that it’s starting to sound clockable to my ears. That’s one problem.

Second problem is, I started looking up the name on the internet and discovered that it’s also a japanese feminine name. I don’t care that it’s feminine per se, because in Italian it’s a masculine word, but what if people associate me with those people who name themselves Akira or Sakura or whatever the case.

I’m kind of troubled by this, I didn’t think about it beforehand and I fear my genuine ignorance may be misinterpreted.

Im thinking of doing this. Im not sure if im a guy mostly because I have touble believing myself about anything. I once thought that I was imagining that I cant breathe (until they gave me oxygen at the hospital). I also have other mental health stuff going on that I might be mistaking for dysphoria.

The most consistent and painfull part of what I think is my dysphoria is depersonalisation and derealisation. I dont feel a connection to myself in the mirror and life feels like a tv show I watch. The dyphoria bible says hormones make this better on a chemical level because the brain is getting the correct hormones.

I know its not good to stop and start too often but this is important and Ill only do it once. To see if it helps with my dissociation and then if it does I would know im really trans. What do you think?

I would stop after a month even if it feels good because I want the actual transition to be watched by a dr and be paid for by insurance.

Okay so one of my cis boyfriend’s family members said she didn’t support me being trans and she won’t respect my pronouns. He told her to be respectful and she should. She said what about my opinion? And my boyfriend said I respect your opinion. I’m extremely upset that he said he respected her opinion. I’m like so you respect her being transphobic?? I just think he’s extremely wrong for saying that. Am I trippin?

Hello fellows. I’m sure most of you are used to the speech about getting bloodwork done regularly. But. If you’re like me and for some reason you cannot give blood for donation. Please talk to your doctor. I cannot donate blood and my levels are on the higher side of normal for RBC, HGB and HCT. So my doctor has prescribed me therapeutic phlebotomy-which is fancy words for throwing away 1-2 pints of my blood every 3-6 months. Please talk your dr or endo or whoever tracks your levels about this option if you need to. Hope everyone has a safe Halloween weekend.

I want to get on T eventually, my mom is pretty against it because she fears that something bad will happen medically (such as dangerous hormonal changes, aggression, etc.) but I really don’t see many people discussing the topic of “dangers of T” as I’ll put it. But I promised her that I properly look into the pros and cons of taking it before I make any decisions right now.

For more context I’m 18 and fairly underweight but tall, already dealing with some issues with periods and I have no libido (never have) and am not medically transitioned at all. But right now, I’m only about half passing and would be a lot happier being medically transitioned too.

So here’s me asking, what are some of the genuinely dangerous things that can happen when taking T, or some of the bad side effects that come with it?