THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

I because trans about 3 years ago, and back then i went by a different name, and I didnt really care what anyone thought about me. Come this year, my friends all call me by my preferred name, besides one. He still calls me by my deadname, and I joke around about me being a gay trans man, and every time, EVERY TIME he says "I'm sorry but you'll always be a woman. that's how god made it." Not only that, but I'm an athiest. I recently stopped hanging out with him, but I'm not sure what to do.

Today is my birthday and I am very happy that I am finally becoming someone who I truly want to be. I see this as my birthday gift to me 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🥹🥹🥹

When I was younger, all my life I hated the mere thought of being a mother, Having kids. I got sick and angry whenever someone said "When you have kids one day" or being maternal ect. Even when people showed a pic of a baby and someone else called it cute id look away disgusted. Not even sure why anymore. I hated it so much, but now that I've realized im trans and a man (Only realized like 2 weeks ago) I dont mind the thought of being a father, I see a baby and I think its cute. Im not sure why the change of heart. Does anyone relate or have any insight?

i live in a transphobic country, haven't had top surgery but planning to get periareolar so it is less clockable. however I've seen some cases that your chest grows back when you gained weight? how common is that? and will it go back to flat if u lose the weight?

This rant might be all over the place, so I apologise in advance. I also don't go on Reddit very often so please forgive my lack of knowledge regarding this app lol (I was unsure whether this post went under this sub or not... gulp.)

I hate being perceived and referred to as a woman. I hate when people use she/her pronouns on me, and it's been about 8 years since I discovered I love it when people use he/him and masculine terms on me; I like being perceived as a man, and I've always been very open about my preferences, that is, on online spaces.

I've never really gone out of my way to appear more masculine or "like a man" physically, and until now, I always thought I was pretty comfortable with my body, regardless of being rather curvy and not having a flat chest at all. Very recently I started using make-up as well (I'm really bad at it, though...), and I like wearing clothes marketed towards women; I enjoy both, I don't think I'll stop enjoying them anytime soon.

However, I get horrible gender dysphoria when it comes to my voice; for years I've wished I could sound like a cis man. I get so jealous over it sometimes, and I absolutely hate it when people acknowledge the way my voice currently sounds whenever I join calls.

When talking in my mother tongue (Spanish), I also tend to find the most gender neutral type of phrasing I can use to refer to myself, instead of sticking to female or male word endings (since I'm not out as trans irl, and I've only told a couple people whom I don't really talk to anymore.)

And as I mentioned earlier, until now, I've always thought I was comfortable with my body. I'm not so sure that's the case anymore, but I can't tell. I don't get *horrible* dysphoria, but if I had had the choice of being amab, I would've taken it in a flash. I think I'm just terribly scared of undergoing gender-affirming surgery or taking testosterone and later on regretting it, for any reason. (I'm also scared of male pattern baldness lmaooo)

Anyway, that's about it. I guess I just wanted to hear other people's opinions, as I've never really had the chance to discuss my gender identity with anyone. It'd be nice if anyone related to my experience.

I'm 20 years old and finishing my BA this spring. Throughout the time spent here my academic performance has been abysmal. I have pretty much consistently failed every subject except for English and German. I severely regretted my picked major and decided that I'll just do the bare minimum until I graduate, leading to awful GPA. I know that I'm irresponsible and it's my fault. But the plan was to do another BA upon moving to Germany, with which my academic performance here would be very much irrelevant. Now I realize that I won't be able to afford it and my best bet would be to do a MA with fees entirely covered by my scholarship, and, well… I don't think I have that in the bag considering my academic performance. I even agreed to do a MA directly related to the field I'm currently in just so I can leave this country ASAP and be away from my immediate family as I start my medical transition in Germany… but I don't think that the cards I've been dealt with are going to make that possible.

Genuinely what can be done here? Am I just completely fucked because of how irresponsible I was? Is there any hope? I try not to catastrophize but this situation *is* pretty catastrophic, and the thought of remaining in this country for even a year longer to sort everything out before leaving is devastating to me, because I don't want to wait up on transitioning, I know I'm young but I want to start ASAP but it's looking like I can kiss moving out of the country goodbye. My mom is helping me relocate to Germany but she doesn't know that I'm trans so I don't know if seeking asylum is an option, after all she's going to wonder why I need one in the first place, and I would rather *not* come out to her while I live with her.

To start, my mom has always been religious, I was raised as a catholic.

She used to be not accepting of being gay and said that if one of her children were ever gay, she would disown them.

It took her a couple years, but she did change her mind about that eventually, she learned to be accepting, and I've brought over probably 3 girlfriends to meet her.

She even stopped going to church when they were asked to pray that the gay marriage right doesn't get passed as law.

Fast forward to a few years ago, she knew about me being trans, and knew that I was on hormones as well, but it was never something we talked about, or that I even came straight out and told her, my siblings did.

I got top surgery last year and safety to say.... best decision of my life!

But when I told her I was having surgery, she was not happy and couldn't understand why I was choosing this and even asked if I would just get a reduction instead.

Obviously that was not something that was on the table ever for me, surgery had been something I had been pursuing for years and I was finally in a position to be able to get it. She cried to me about it, but there was no changing my mind.

She did check on me to see if I was okay after the surgery, and we did briefly discuss everything, but she said she could never accept me being a guy, and could never call me her son, because it was wrong. She said "God made you what you are, you can't change that."

When one of my sisters gave birth to my niece, she keeps saying 'aunt' and 'auntie' and I hate it.

I feel bad when my girlfriend and I visit her(we visit every other weekend just about) because my girlfriend has to use no pronouns when she refers to me, because if she says 'he', my mom will get mad about it.

Her and my mom got into it a little bit after I had my surgery because she kept calling me 'she' and my girlfriend was calling me 'he' and asked her to respect my pronouns, she got stupid about it.

Since my girlfriend didn't want my mom to dislike her, she just came up with no pronouns, thinking this will be better than arguing with her.

So anyway, a few months ago, I legally got my name and gender changed(YAY) and just kept the news between my girlfriend and I.

To make this already incredibly long story short, I gave my mom my old car to let my sister drive, and she got into an accident. So obviously the title has my new name on it, i asked my sister to not share that with my mom, and apparently she did anyway.

So my mom texts me the other night talking about how everybody's keeping secrets from her. But she wouldn't tell me what they were, but it was painfully obvious what it was.

Given how she acted when I had my surgery, and even now how she refuses to use my pronouns, I didn't feel like I owed her telling her that I had changed my middle name.

She's not acting like it's the end of the world yet, but I know that that is soon to come.

I know she's my mom but am I wrong from keeping this from her?

Hi!! Im nonbinary myself but, my boyfriend started testosterone two days ago!! and im doing more research for him and was wondering what are some things that have happened to anyone else on testosterone? and i dont mean like “oh the body hair!” “the increased appetite!” I mean not as talked about symptoms! (and potential “side effects” for those of you who have had any complications with it!) I also wanted to know what sort of advice anyone has!! any kind of answer is appreciated :)

Title explains it, but I got a question for the peeps that are already experienced in this. I decided to go with the gel method, came in the form of the pump bottle, but my doctor suggested I put it on my upper arm and buy something to cover where I apply it. This might sound dumb, but do regular shirt sleeves suffice? I know to let it dry and also keep anything or anyone from coming into contact with the spot, and I always wear shirts with loose sleeves that are halfway down my forearm. I got younger siblings and pets, but they're not ones to roughhouse with me and risk touching the area. I'm pretty eager for this, but if the best course of action is buying dressings, then I'll handle that first.

I've been on T for 5 years and am stealth in my everyday life and I'm thinking about studying to become a midwife. But I'm not sure if it's weird to do so as a man.

Subjects: Dysphoria, appreciation for queer and trans people, slightly sad/negative headspace but optimistic

I've been surrounding myself in a trans and queer bubble ever since I came out and started my social and medical transition 5 years ago. Recently i've been socializing outside my usual circles and the dysphoric episode was so unexpected. I have a new-found appreciation for my community, i never felt weird or uncomfortable with other trans/queer people, I didn't think about how I looked, how I sounded, how I acted, I just was. I was also frequently validated that I had cis-passing. Recently, I've realized that cis passing standards to other trans people are very different to cis passing with cis people. I'm lucky enough to be respected by all the cis people in my life, but the treatment is so different. I'm not treated like a man, i'm treated like a trans man. They do "masculine" hand shakes differently with me, they look at me from the side of their eye, they talk to me differently. I thought i was stealth at Uni, and there's no way to sound this without sounding ungrateful: but it was crushing to slowly realize everyone/most people know and just don't say anything. I'm taking care of myself to not let this affect me because i don´t want to go into a negative spiral and i shouldn't be ashamed of being trans. but i'm seeking out online community to talk about similar experiences or some nice words. Thanks everyone who read this

I just took my first dose less than an hour ago!! I want to know how your first month went and what were the first things you noticed or other peopled noticed.

Apparently its possible. I am 1 year and a few months on T but I have very little body hair, no facial hair, voice is deeper ye but still on the lighter end...

My name is EXTREMELY fem. This man saw my chart (medical bus) and i still passed??? Ive been on this dudes bus like 3 times and he always calls me "Bud, Buddy" but like.. thats a little ambiguous so i didnt think anything of it.

Then he said "yeah i figured id park here and wait for him" when referencing me and.... i passed :0

I KNOW he saw my name as he asked if it was mine, and I KNOW he was payign attention to WHERE we were going as I directed him and told him the name of the obygn several times.

Its not my first passing in public but usually that passing disappears the moment someone sees or hears my name.

Also hes hella old

this is an update on the post i made yesterday about coming out to my partner again and starting hormones. i laid it all out, and he said he already knew about the medication because he’d seen paperwork from my medical appointments on our shared pc. he said he doesn’t know how to feel about it and doesn’t think talking to someone will ever make him fully understand, but he’ll be with me through the next steps and take things one step at a time.

i know everyone is telling me to leave this person, but it’s not that easy. our lives are very much intertwined financially.

I'm almost 7 months on t and my voice is much deeper, but it sounds more like my voice is thick with sickness if that makes sense. Its just.. very weak sounding. People have a very hard time hearing me. Is this typical for voice changes? Has anyone else gone through this before? I was expecting voice cracks but it has been gradual and smooth.

Is this something I should try voice training to address? Or just wait for T a bit more? Im happy with the pitch its just the weakness and projection I'm having trouble with idk. Its hard to explain :(

So I just started T last week, and now that i got over the initial excitement Im honestly really concerned about my dosage. My doctor tecided to start with 50mg every four weeks, which is measily 12.5 mg per week. My final dose is supposed to be 100mg every two weeks, but it will take a couple weeks to get there and Im pretty sure I saw people talking about it as being on the lower side too. I never suggested that I wanted to be on a low dose and the thought never even crosses my mind. Just feels kind off ass to potentially have to wait a lot longer for the effects I would like to get as fast as possible.

Looking at pictures of my chest is kind of sickening. It’s like body horror. I got DI when I probably should have gotten modified peri, because my nipples and scars are now way too high on my chest. My surgeon, who usually has beautiful and consistent results, did an awful job with the nipple size and placement and it’s so unnatural looking my brain can’t seem to process it. I can feel the nerves where my nipples are supposed to be and the grafts aren’t there.

I’m 10 months post op and I just have worse and different dysphoria now that’s affecting my focus and daily functioning. My body still feels wrong and a bad transgender surgery is almost more gender incongruous to me than being able to say I’m pre-op. I’ve seen a few surgeons to ask about revision and they all recommend against it because of risks and additional scarring. I clearly need to see a specialist or something to help me deal with the panic my chest causes in my mind but I don’t know where to start. I just want my chest fixed.

so i was on T for almost 6 years and my testosterone levels were usually in the 800’s (ng/dL). i had to stop t for ~2 years, but on my last test before stopping my testosterone levels were 961 ng/dL, free T was 0.68 pg/mL, and SHBG was 41.4 mol/L. my doctor had said my testosterone was a bit too high and wanted to lower my dose a little. (this doctor only tested levels for testosterone, free testosterone, and SHBG.)

i started T again through a new doctor on August 2nd this year, and had my labs done about 8 weeks later on September 30th. my new doctor tested levels for testosterone, estrogen, FSH, and LH. my testosterone was at 1023 ng/dL, estrogen was 134 pg/mL, FSH was 6.9 mIU/mL, and LH was 6.7 mIU/mL. i’m on subQ injections (0.3 mL of test cypionate every week), i do my shot on Sunday nights and i got my blood drawn Wednesday morning.

i’m just. so confused about what i’m looking at. my current doctor said the results all look like they’re in normal range, so i’m confused about why my last doctor was concerned about my T levels being too high at 961 if this doctor says 1023 is fine? especially since iirc that would be in the higher range even for a cis man. and i unfortunately never got my estrogen levels checked the first time i was on T so i don’t have a frame of reference for that.

are there other tests i should be requesting? do i need results for free T and SHBG, like my first doctor was testing? the doctor i’m currently seeing seems more knowledge about HRT so i’m inclined to trust her a bit more but. are both my T and E supposed to be so high at this point? did i just get my levels tested too early, before they’ve had a chance to completely settle?

definitely going to ask my doctor these questions as well but she’s usually super busy so it’s a bit hard to get ahold of her in a timely manner, and i thought i’d get a second opinion here in case she actually doesn’t know what she’s looking at wrt hormone levels for trans men. the only thing she noted on my chart was that my levels look good and i should get them checked again in January.

I want it to be seen as something that was traumatic for certain people.

At the time I thought puberty would save me and I would accept myself and stop being a boy, but the changes only made me feel worse and avoid looking in the mirror.

It's funny to see pictures from just a few years before puberty. It seemed like my body was already reacting negatively to the wrong hormones. In some photos I look like I don't want to look at the camera, in others like I'm disgusted with myself and want to disappear. I probably was 8-10 years in those pics.

I was incredibly stupid. I thought I'd have a growth spurt or my voice would deepen. Nothing happened and I only felt worse. The change in my appearance from pre-pubescent to post-pubescent is crazy. All the sparkle disappeared.

I get panic attacks and feel like crying when I remember what happened. I start to feel really bad. Especially since most of them are permanent. I'm also terrified of my hips or breasts getting bigger. Sometimes I just look at them and feel like I want to rip it from me and scream.

If I could get the chance to go back when I was 5, 7 yo I would deny it a thousand of times. I couldn't go through that again. I probably would have killed myself. The thought of going through it again already makes me feel awful. I panic when I think about how much it has changed me.I feel like crying when I see my photos before and after puberty because all the sparkle is gone. I wish I'd been lucky enough to have used blockers and HRT when I was younger. I just feel awful most of the time.

Does anyone else here feel this way?

i’ve tried tissue with a piece of tape, cotton pads with tape, a folded piece of tape, a wider plaster, none of them are particularly comfortable for me tbh

i recently caved and got disposable nipple covers for the time being but i wouldn’t wanna rely on continuously buying them.

is there anything else i could try?

Im very curious about this. Im unable to stand up straight while binding because I have a huge chest, so it just looks like my ribcage is about to explode. Its almost worse than people thinking I have boobs because something just looks very wrong with me. So i just hunch 24/7, its painful but it alleviates my dysphoria :’). I’ve always assumed this is a universal experience regardless of size but I realized I haven’t heard anyone talk about it!