I have social anxiety, and I have had that for a very long time, if not since I was little. Not sure when it started. I am usually reserved outside of a set group of people (who I don't even call that often). If someone doesn't call me, I won't usually come out of my room/home to do so if I am not used to you. A few weeks ago I moved to my aunt's home for financial reasons, and my parents are abroad, working. I go to college and all, I have social media content that I do, and I sell things on etsy. Outside of all this, I don't really talk to anyone unless prompted.
People, usually my extended family, usually think that I hate them or am "scheming" something when I'm barely even thinking about them. I have no issue with them or anything. I am nice to them, I help as much as I can when they need me, but they always say that I look down of them when I'm not. Is there a way I can fix that?

My wife and I moved to a new city a year ago, and a few weeks ago, we decided to check out a local pub. I enjoy beer, but I'd never actually been to a pub before.

When I got to the bar, I found dozens of craft beers on the menu, many with German or Dutch names I couldn't make sense of. Not knowing what to order, I asked the bartender if she had any recommendations.

An awkward silence followed. She gave me a strange look and simply said, "The options are on the menu."

Feeling nervous and embarrassed, I ordered something at random. After that, I just wanted to leave.

It's been weeks, and I'm still thinking about that interaction. Was it wrong of me to ask for a recommendation? Is that not something bartenders normally do?

I want to open a discussion about this because I've been really pondering it lately. Some people can keep to themselves all day long, others accept it and treat them like human beings. some people get punished for the same thing and basically dehumanized (iykyk)

Why is that? I have my theories but I want to hear what others have to say

Married, in my 30s, no kids and won't be having them. I genuinely love being alone or with my husband. I have a really social and physical job where I'm "on" all the time, and I'm a business owner, so when I'm home I am writing books, hiking with my dogs, cooking/baking, reading, gardening, taking care of our 2 acres. I go to a monthly writing group and sometimes I will hang out with another person once a month (maybe). Mostly I force myself to check in on friends or respond to their texts more out of fear that I'll grow into a mean old lady without friends, like my mom. But the difference between my mom and I is that I have a rich internal/creative life and I'm not just watching TV all day. My husband is my BFF but we do a healthy amount of things on our own. Sometimes I want a close friend group but I honestly can't (don't want to) give myself to others in the consistent and reliable way that would require. I'm busy writing and being outside and reading! But I do worry about the effects of being too alone when I'm an old lady. My husband is 10 years older than me too, I consider that fact. I know loneliness is not good for an elderly person's health. But the problem is right now, I'm not lonely! Anyone else wrestle with this?

Not gonna lie but I think I will die by being just getting bored and sitting quietly at a corner, cause I don't have a single Good friends..

Im 27M and finally letting myself be vulnerable after protecting myself for so many years. As an introvert, its hard to open up to someone growing up but the anxiety of what ifs, the guilt of unsaid thoughts can no longer be enclosed within. Its also made me do more bad decisions and make it an excuse to justify it, but man, I can finally cry after so many years! I’m happy with it, even if I faced a recent heartbreak, so many heartbreaks and asking for apologies, admitting and accepting what is currently happening, I feel better where I am.

Yeah, I’m on the first step of getting back at my feet, rediscovering myself and the world alone but as of now, I no longer have the guilt and finally forgiven myself for what happened, I needed that as well. I also recognized myself at last in how to manage the anxiety of what ifs… You might be worrying about something that deep within, you can do something about it. So as long as its not yet despair or uncontrollable. Act upon it.

I don’t consider myself to be that quiet. I’m more of a good listener and conversationalist who is happy to chat with people that don’t completely dominate the conversation, and because of my ADHD, I try to be mindful to avoid cutting people off mid-sentence. I also like to (at least try to) think before I speak in school/work settings because my ADHD brain has put me in a few foot-in-mouth situations.

Growing up, I feel like this led to a lot of extroverted people making fun of me for being quiet, and as a result I forced myself to act more extroverted at work and socially. Now that I’m in my mid 20s, I’ve had more than a few coworkers, bosses, and classmates who ramble incessantly and literally don’t let you get a word in or ask you any questions. Personally, I find it annoying and pretty rude, and it makes me question why society doesn’t see this type of personality just as “bad” as being quiet? It seems like being someone oblivious of how they talk or who talks just to hear the sound of their own voice usually gets much further career wise and socially, even though they’re often not actually contributing that much substance.

How do you communicate with these types of personalities? Most of them I like other than this quirk, or need to figure out how to communicate better with them for work lol, but it usually just makes me shut down a bit and stop trying because it can be exhausting.

*edit: meant to say “people who can’t stop rambling” in title but missed a word!

I’m in my 40 now I don’t have any friends I haven’t been in a relationship since my mid 20s. as an introvert how does everyone deal with it. I know this may seem crazy I’m going to a speed dating event coming up has anyone else ever done it . is anyone else really quiet and shy ?

hi guys, an introvert-pretending-to-be-outgoing-irl here.

so as an introvert who has a day job i'm obliged to put on an extroverted mask so that people don't see me as an awkward weirdo in my workplace. part of wearing that mask is doing the dreaded "watercooler chat" with my colleagues or small talks during smoke breaks. i don't mind doing them cause sometimes when the vibe is right it can be fun. but when the social session ends i often get this weird feeling of... the best i can describe it is that i feel like i was being fake. "wow chatty lil guy huh?" said me to me as i walk back to my desk. maybe partly cause of my social battery running out, but it's not exactly because of that.

does anyone else feel the same? how do you deal with that usually?

right its been bothering me all night but i need to cancel some plans i made tomorrow to go out with friends because it feels like a " you can come if u want invite" that i said yes to out of politenesss aswell. Like the girls are going are all friends for years and i ve only been invited cause i was sat with them , they all already have a gc and everything tg and i ve only been with half of them for like a week so like how do i cancel tomorrow morning (day of) without seeming like a bitch
like i like them i js have social anxiety and dont wanna push myself into their friendship group and end up bothering them😭🙏

i’m 21f and i go nonverbal quite a lot. i am not shy but i am introverted and would rather not have attention on me.

i have made a few gym friends with some girls and they are very loud and chatty. i try my best to keep up but my voice is really quiet so sometimes they don’t even hear what i say.

whenever they make a joke i feel like my laughter is forced and it doesn’t feel genuine. i really try to fit in but my voice is very monotone and quiet… i can go days without talking, no problem. i find myself cringing when i force my laughter and try to relate to them, like this isn’t me!

even when i do talk, i feel like its just me asking questions about them and nobody really listens to anything about me.

how can i come across as more extroverted and not weird? i feel like i give off depressing vibes.

Guys, I’ve never really been able to make many friends. Growing up, I only had one or two, and I’ve spent the last four years mostly alone. For the last two years, I literally had no friends. I was always chasing people, trying to make connections, and eventually I made one or two friends, along with a few online friends. But even now, I barely talk to them.

The weird thing is, I don’t even feel like talking to people anymore. It’s like I’ve convinced myself that I don’t need friends or connections at all. But at the same time, there’s this emptiness inside me that’s making it really hard to enjoy life. I don’t understand why I’ve become like this. I’m a 17 year old guy, and I feel like I’ve already lost the desire to connect with people, even though a part of me still feels lonely.

Can someone help me understand why this is happening to me?

PLEASE DO READ 🙏🙏 (from reddit mait)

So, umm, weird to say this and I wanna stay anonymous. Feeling extremely lonely and left out.

Is it common to feel lonely despite having friends? Like, my friends are extremely kind and nice, but I feel my frequency doesn't match theirs as much, and our interests vary. I feel drained sometimes as well, and lonely too, as I feel my life lacks fun, etc. Like, no one to go out with during the festive season, no one to enjoy going out with, and no one to talk to, etc., making daily fun lonely too. Mostly messages come asking for help or some work related thing only (I am happy helping others, but find left out as mostly no one messages just for the sake of it).

Also, the fun-type people in my class whom I also truly want to befriend by heart have already consolidated into friend groups and friend circles, and I feel groups and friendships have stabilised over two months of college. Like, I'm maybe friendly with all of them and join in here and there, but the core friend groups and deep friendships have stabilised. Like, groups stay together and have deep friendships and all.

I feel these groups have stabilised, and making deep friendship bonds (like sitting together, messaging and meeting outside college and sharing some random talks is difficult at this point) with new people at this point in time is not possible. Like I feel, even sitting with someone's group of friends would feel like someone is breaching their privacy and might make the situation more awkward. I feel like these different worlds never meet or coincide, destined to remain separated, and I'm feeling sad about the lack of fun in my life and inability to befriend them. Sometimes wanted to cry too.

like i go to college in hope of better days with some people (mostly whom i actually enjoy spending time with but actually am not in their core friends , nor talk outside college and all as i am friendly with others but aint having good friendship bonds with people i actually enjoy spending time with) . Mostly the day goes by in fog and all without much interaction and to my frustration , it gives more and more sadness , irritation etc if it goes with no interaction and all . Like when i do have talks (random) , games or anything with others , i feel far happier even after returning home , otherwise my entire day goes in sadness and all . Like this cycle of sadness and ruined day , depression seeing people online on insta whatsapp still no one to talk to is making me sad .Like this cycle of sadness and ruined day , depression seeing people online on insta whatsapp still no one to talk to is making me sad .

Am I overthinking this as I want to make more friends, or do friendships and groups actually become harder to enter as college progresses? For people who felt this way during their first few months of college, how did things eventually turn out for you or something else you wanna say? I would be utmost thankful for each and every response (may comment even days after this post, i would be extremely thankful). I am extremely sorry for any kind of problem this post might be causing to anyone. thank youHere is a poor drawing i made to vent my mind out with whatever 1st grader type skills i have

i've noticed that whenever i have someone over, after a couple hours i start wishing they'd leave even if we're having a good time.

had a friend over last weekend, we ordered chinese and watched something on tv. even laughed about an ad i found inside my fortune cookie. it was a nice evening and we had plenty to talk about.

but after a while i just wanted to be alone again. she wasn't doing anything annoying or overstaying her welcome, i was just getting tired of having someone around.

felt pretty bad about it too because i was the one who invited her.

it's frustrating because i do like spending time with people, i just seem to reach my limit way sooner than everyone else.

I'm 15F, and there's this guy, let's call him John (17M), who's from South Africa. We met online, and we've only been talking for about a week. We haven't met in person, and we're from different countries. He's openly flirty with me and has told me he wants me to be his girlfriend, but I haven't officially agreed to anything yet, so we're still in the talking stage.

The thing is, I'm genuinely so socially awkward. I'm used to people texting me first, and I almost never initiate conversations myself. It's not that I don't want to talk to someone, I just never know what to say or how to start a conversation out of nowhere.

But with John, I actually want to make an effort. I don't want him to think I'm uninterested or that I don't like him just because I'm not usually the one who texts first. I want to show him that I enjoy talking to him and that I'm interested in him. I want to be sweet with him, but initiating conversations feels so unnatural to me.

I also don't want to force conversations or make it feel like I'm interviewing him every time we talk. I genuinely don't know how people do this naturally, especially when they're still getting to know someone online.

For people who've been in a similar situation, how did you get comfortable texting first and showing interest without feeling awkward? How do you keep conversations going naturally when you're an introvert and you're talking to someone who lives in another country?

I'd appreciate genuine advice 🤧

​

I need advice from fellow introverts who have been in a similar place.

I am an introvert (I have no close friends, and I keep my struggles to myself). I am in a long-term relationship with an extroverted partner. We are not legally married, but we have 4 children together.

He is very social, a people-pleaser, and gets involved in everything. I recently found out he has been unfaithful for a long time and has other children outside our family. I have been faithful the whole time.

It has broken me deeply. I have tried to plan a way to separate, but it hasn't worked yet. Because I am introverted, I don't have people to talk to about what is happening at home.

I want to heal and one day find love again with someone who understands an introverted personality, someone who values loyalty and quiet connection like I do.

If you have been through a similar betrayal or had to leave a long relationship as an introvert parent, how did you survive it? How did you find the courage to start over, especially with children involved?

Any advice on healing and moving forward would mean a lot. Thank you.

My lonniness started when I was small (like nursery 2 I think (im Nigerian) ) the teacher used to beat us for speaking loudly (even if you don't speak as long as another person shout everybody will receive). so me as small that I was I thought that if I keep quiet all together and not express myself the teachers will leave me alone (and it worked.

the teacher were even praising me) but the more they praised me the more I refuse to talk. and like that I couldn't express or talk to my peers I couldn't even look people in the eye (even now I have problems looking at people, I ask myself if am looking at people to long). my jss 2 was the worst for a full term I didn't socialize (and I regret all I did was sit in my chair. and the painful part is that then people wanted to talk to me unlike now that everyone is on they own) I truly regret

. now I want to talk with people but my mouth will not talk(am currently in my 400lvl in uni, things have gotten far better.but I still feel like I wasted my school years)

I hate parties like club,rave or event were the music is so high and the air smell of alcohol. I have never seen or felt the appeal, like why the hell am I paying to stand and listen to music that are not my taste the a sweety guy will bumb into me rubbing his sweat on me . The air will be so stuffy like a pillow like come on I rather put on my head phones and listen to the same music.

Don get me wrong is not like I don't like partys in general (I love small celebritions, birthdays , events) but clubs , CLUBS I will never get the appeal.

Hey everyone,

Main ek 24 saal ka recent grad hoon aur abhi ghar par hi reh raha hoon. Mere 4 doston ka ek bohot hi close group hai, par wo din bhar apne kaam mein busy rehte hain, toh humari baat sirf raat mein thodi der ke liye hoti hai. Sach kahu toh, is wajah se din ka zyada time main bohot akela aur sad feel karta hoon.

Main is rut se bahar aana chahta hoon. Main poori tarah se introvert toh nahi hoon—ek baar kisi ke sath comfortable ho jaau toh ghanto baatein kar sakta hoon. Par kisi anjaan insaan se khud jaakar baat initiate karne mein meri fatt jati hai.

Meri sabse badi problem ye hai ki main bohot jaldi attach ho jata hoon. Agar kisi se thodi der bhi achhi baat ho jaye, toh mujhe instant connection feel hone lagta hai, aur fir main overthink karna shuru kar deta hoon. Agar koi late reply kare, toh dimaag mein turant 100 negative scenarios banne lagte hain. Ye cheez mujhe andar se dara deti hai, isliye main stress aur anxiety se bachne ke liye logo se baat karna hi chhod deta hoon.

Maine khud ko push karne ki bohot koshish ki hai. Main shaam ko paas ke gardens mein is umeed se jata hoon ki shayad kisi se naturally baat shuru ho jaye, par anxiety itni haavi ho jati hai ki main bas blank ho jata hoon aur kuch bol hi nahi pata.

Main ghar par akele baith kar bore aur lonely feel karne se bilkul thak chuka hoon. Kya aap mein se kisi ne is tarah ki overthinking ya jaldi attach hone waali problem face ki hai? Aap log is se kaise deal karte ho?

Aur haan, agar koi pune ke aas-paas rehta hai aur hangout karna chahta hai, chai peena chahta hai ya bas aise hi chill karna chahta hai, toh please DM karna. Mujhe naye logo se connect hoke sach mein bohot achha lagega.