I'm not looking for any kind of reassurance at all.

Everything just feels incredibly tainted. Nothing feels safe. I just went to feel safe nothing does.

I am so tired of literally going to war everyday against intrusive thoughts to the point it feels debilitating because all my energy is going towards trying to convince my brain to let me enjoy my day for more than one hour. How do you guys deal with feeling mentally exhausted 24/7?

If you had to sum up your OCD experience in one sentence what would you say?

For me: “A total distortion of my mind and reality that has led me into the fiery pits of hell.”

So our brain has the ability to endlessly propose things in our brain. When we react to them negatively they get worse. The only way out of ocd is to realize that our brain just is allowed to do certain things in our brain for prolonged periods of time. Without reacting to it! I think the hardest part of ocd is to accept that your brain is allowed to start any kind of obsession from nowhere with us having no say in it.

This SUCKS! But also gives me hope because this monster ocd is only as bad as I want it to be.

I was prescribed Aripiprazole and I'm feeling great! It's like I never had OCD. Seriously, what a miracle! I still remember the compulsions, but I simply don't act on them anymore. I've been at peace for a few days now. Seriously, getting treatment is really worth it. Get help, don't let OCD control you.

I don’t want to spoil this show for anyone, but for those who have seen it, I imagine the Beast as representing OCD and the Woodsman keeping the lantern lit as acting on compulsions. Sometimes when I’m struggling it helps me to picture Wirt saying “Wait, that’s dumb.”

Full explanation if you haven’t watched and don’t care about spoilers:There’s a woodsman who spends the entire show chopping wood to fuel a lantern because he believes the flame inside is the only thing keeping his daughter alive (she’s been taken by a character called the Beast). At the end we learn that the Beast has lied about the daughter/ lantern and is actually terrified of the flame going out because it’s the only thing keeping him alive. Great (though probably unintentional) symbol for how acting on compulsions out of a desire to protect someone is just a lie and really only fuels OCD itself.

p.s. If you haven’t seen OTGW: Very cute cartoon, classic fall vibes, sometimes genuinely creepy and NOT for small kids!

I’m muslim and have OCD. I struggle with the concept of evil eye a lot. If i ever say anything about accomplishments (e.g, grades) or applications to university, I get so incredibly anxious and feel as though I’ve lost the accomplishment or what I wanted to get already, or it feels like only a certain amount of time until i do. I’ll say and repeat Masha’Allah or Allahumabarik immediately, but if i forget, i’ll spiral after. which isn’t great because I also have false memory OCD, so i’ll convince myself neither of us said it. Encountering people who are pushy about knowing things about you is the absolute worst.

It’s not about not having trust in Allah’s plan or holding plans at such a high level that I’m afraid to lose them. It’s literally just anxiety and intrusive thoughts that people knowing will ultimately cause things to fail and fall apart (which i know isn’t true, but that doesn’t change anything). I simply won’t tell family or people who need to know, like teachers about applications because of this.

Super weird, but i wonder if this is common among muslims or people who have the concept of evil eye in their culture w OCD?

Hey! I am in the process of trying to get diagnosed. I am looking for examples of what your mind is like with “pure o” ocd. Not just “I have a thought and this is what I do to try to comfort that thought” I want to understand the intensity, repetition, context etc. of the thoughts/loops/cycles. Basically I just want a peak inside of someones brain with “pure o” (I am aware that it is different for each person)
If you could share your own examples or recommended any books, podcasts, or anything that gives a detailed look at pure o ocd.

Edited to add: I understand that “pure O” is not a great name for it (which is why I put it in quotes) I should have just asked about mental compulsions and not used the name “pure o”.

I’m finally reaching out to the internet for severe help.
I never realized the label for the agony I was experiencing until I did more research. This is somatic OCD, which has been occurring for a total of 14 years now.

I need help, advice, direction, anything.
I’ve had nonstop awareness of my breathing and CONSTANT control of my breathing, a hyper awareness that simply never has an end to it. From the moment I wake up, it is a habitual, detrimental, painful control of every single breath I take, until I go back to sleep.

This is a habit I’ve created. I have basically hijacked my nervous system and brain to believe that something is medically wrong with me. I seriously cannot find a way out of this.

I am truthful when I say it is every single day, every single breath, during every moment, second, hour of my days.
This obsession/theme has been going on for 8 years now. There are maybe two breaths I take that I’m unaware of, but I go right back into the habitual manual breathing.
I don’t know what it’s like anymore to be in a trance, totally focused on what is in front of me. This is an automatic function I am entirely focused on non-stop. I am totally enthralled and aware of the breath in, and breath out.

For some backstory, I’ve created this uncertainty, nervousness, and unsafe space in my brain due to medical anxiety since I was young. When I was little, I had a different theme of being obsessed with my heart rate and couldn’t stand to even feel it. I would physically twitch my body to mimic the sensation of my heart beating without having to actually feel it. This lasted for years, total cardiophobia. The theme has since changed to a breathing obsession. However, I have no medical ailments that would impair my ability to breathe or cause any cardiac events. I’ve been evaluated - chest X-rays, labs, ECG’s, etc. and I am still young.

Due to the habit of controlling my breathing, I experience chest pain, hyperventilation, disassociation, derealization, depersonalization, impending doom, focus issues/ADD, insomnia/too much sleep, hives and histamine fluctuations, the list goes on.

I’ve tried three different SSRIs, none of which were OCD-targeted, but for anxiety. I got 0 relief from any of the SSRIS. I’ve attended CBT once and only one therapy session with a psychologist. I’ve been resistant to reaching out due to me being convinced this will all just go away on one random morning and can finally live my life. I tend to be “independent” and suffer silently, but I’ve realized I’ve lost control.

Major triggers include driving, quiet spaces, and confined areas. It drives me insane when I have zero distractions to deplete my overwhelming hyper-awareness of my breaths.

I seriously don’t know where to go from here.
I don’t know how to stop this. It’s some sort of habit. It feels like a creature over my shoulder every day that I cannot shake.

Thank you for your time to read and hopefully a response.

So i was diagnosed with OCD and panic disorder about 2 years ago. Now i dont know if what im about to share relates to ocd but idk what else it could be.

So i have had a huge obsession with bugs since i got lice when i was 15, i have to check everything daily for example my skin in case i have scabies, my bed in case of bedbugs, the cupboards incase of roaches, my hair in case of lice. I refuse to get close to people in case i spread lice, bedbugs, scabies etc.. and the other way around. I also im very reluctant on going into people their house or letting people in mine because of that exact reason. I also dont enjoy vacations longer than one day cause i dont wanna stay in a hotel or airbnb incase they have bedbugs or roaches.

Now the problem has definitely gotten worse, i had booklice in my appartment on the walls, got an exterminator, etc. But i cant stop googling or using ai to send pictures to confirm its not a roach, i cant cook in my own home cause it feels unsanitary etc.. its just so draining and idk what to do.

Im not the best at explaining just its making me so tired, the moment i think I finally know that it nots roaches my brain immediately goes ‘but what if u saw wrong’ or ‘what if u missed something’ and its just so tiring.

I'm not sure if this happens to anyone else or if it's even a symptom of my OCD, so let me know if it sounds like it is or if it's just general anxiety.

I have 5 amazing cats, 2 of which I've raised from kittens. They have always wanted to be really close to me, snuggle at night right up next to my head.

I really treasure these moments, but then put of nowhere I start wondering if they'll ever turn on me. I read too many posts where a pet has some insidious underlying condition, and one day out of the blue they just go bananas and can't be stopped from attacking and then everything is ruined for the owner cat relationship.

Like obviously this is some kind of rare, worst case scenario.

I'm thinking it's more of an OCD type thing because I'll catch myself in a self reassurance loop but because there's cases where it's happened, and because there's a small chance my cats could get super ill, and they sleep so close to me, the 1% chance is there and thus, a loop!

I'm just in the early stages of getting the loops under control... It's so wild to me that the best solution for my brain is to say "Yeah, my cat could maul me in my sleep. It's just something I need to accept" but it does seem to provide some peace to just accept things.

Made a few posts like this which I know is probably reassurance in a way but regardless. I'm a rather dumb person, I read posts or comment threads and always get questions but thanks to knowing about said stupidity, I'm self aware enough to know I've probably phrased it terribly and then I worry about someone screenshotting it and posting it to some other subreddit to laugh and mock me, exposing my stupidity to people happy to dox or stalk or any other variation of online weirdness.

Does anyone else get that?

I’m looking to see if anybody else from New York has OCD. I’d like to make some friends who relate to the struggle and are 18+, I’m hoping to get in contact with some new friends!

I have been dealing with some real event and moral ocd. I know part of healing from ocd is accepting uncertainty and there isn't a definite answer, but the thing is, has anyone that has suffered from ocd felt back to normal, able to call themselves a good person again? Or do you just live with calling yourself "in the middle?"

Genuinely been having a super rough time
At the minute, I’d say the worst I’ve had in a while. Who do you talk to about this? But at the same time I don’t want anyone to know what I’m thinking because it’s genuinely horrible and I’m disgusted by it. Feel like I’m losing my mind

I have moral ocd that makes me terrified of being a bigot. I am not doing well with this series of events.

Also needless to say I feel very bad about it and I am not going to wear it

Lately i've been struggling with a really bad flare up with existential OCD. And i do mean really bad: i have had screaming panic attacks along with literal constant rumination and a large inability to do anything i care about. There were a lot of factors going into this (i won't get into it but i'm dealing with some grief and a major life change on the horizon) but i also realized that i hadn't actually taken my estrogen shot. i'm a trans woman and doing my estrogen regularly has been really helpful for my general wellbeing so i finally did that today.

And i feel so much better! it genuinely feels so night and day when i'm properly on hormones and not it's really unbelievable! Especially with what can feel like such an "objective" theme i really appreciate how much having done my shot helps reveal that i can actually be happy and that my OCD doesn't have to control me. (And that existential ocd is not nearly as rational as it can feel haha.)

i'm wondering if any other trans people in this sub have had any similar experiences or if there are any studies on specifically HRTs interactions with OCD? Obviously OCD has a really strong correlation to general mood so it's not shocking but being on estrogen is such a huge difference to how bad my OCD is that i can't help but wonder if there's some manner of "special relationship" there. My OCD definitely isn't gone when i'm on it but it's so so much better.

(Also sorry if this flair isn't exactly right since i'm also asking a question? Hope that's fine lol)

I honestly don’t know where to start. My daughter “Bella”, 22, was diagnosed with OCD about a year ago. Apparently she’s had OCD for most of her life. She’d had multiple therapists throughout her years but no one nailed the OCD.

We always thought OCD was like the movies - counting, etc. She had always been “Type A” but now we know it was always OCD. We would do “brain dumps” for the week so she would know what she had to do and the order she needed to do things.

Anyway she developed and eating disorder (orthorexia) and apparently the OCD loves this. She was put on Zoloft and slowly upped to 125 mg. Anxiety lessened. OCD was there but didn’t rule over her life. When she went up to 125mg the transition was really tough.

She didn’t like how the Zoloft made her feel and she went off of it cold turkey. And didn’t tell us. It was 2 weeks of absolute hell. We thought she was losing her mind. OCD and anxiety off the charts. There is also a myriad of other medical problems related to her ED.

She has an OCD therapist that is exposure therapy but she hadn’t been able to do it because she went off her meds and couldn’t handle it. Her PCP prescribed Prozac (she has chronic constipation and this med doesn’t have that side effect) and she will start this week.

We also started alternative medicine (mostly for her constipation and motility issues - also ED related). Things are actually moving (slowly) whether it’s her protocol or pelvic floor therapy or a combo of things but we are seeing improvement. But her anxiety and her OCD is just off the charts and she is now questioning everything and nothing I say is “right”. I can’t argue with the OCD. We go around in circles all the time and she gets angry but I don’t know what to do. I’m so emotionally exhausted. I’m trying to keep her on course but now she’s questioning everything. New meds will take weeks to work and will they work???

I don’t know maybe this is just a vent but I’m so lost right now. Thanks for reading if you did. I hope this all makes sense.

Edit: I just want to thank everyone who responded. This community is very nice and you made me feel less hopeless 💕

well.
I have enlarged tonsils for other reasons…
And I can breathe. Obviously or I wouldn’t be typing this. But my newest trigger is genuinely hyper fixating on my breathing. For two weeks I’ve been obsessing over how I “feel like I can’t get enough air”. I’ve been making myself lightheaded with anxiety. And the worst part is it hasn’t ended. The only time it stops is when I’m distracted in school.

I’m an artist and the only way to get better at my craft is to practice practice practice but a lot of times when I try to make something new I get so anxious and caught up that it makes the process very hard to get through. It’s so bad cause I’m obsessing about making the right design choices and the I start thinking about how I don’t even practice as much and if I don’t practice I won’t get better. I obsess over making it the best design and if I feel like I could be doing it “better” I get so distressed. Sometimes it even triggers seizures in me (I have psychogenic non epileptic seizures). It’s very disheartening cause I do have talent (knock on wood) but without endless practice I won’t get as good as I can be which makes me depressed. Also the process although fulfilling in the end makes me so distressed I end up procrastinating incessantly before I start a project. I’m actually typing this while taking a break from making some art so I don’t get a panic attack :(

Advice pls

My compulsions are heavily focused on food. Only certain ones are deemed “safe” for me to eat. This food focus is driving me insane. I’m hungry, yet I can’t do anything about it out of my own provisions.

Now all of a sudden I’m doubting the foods I cling to. I’m already dissatisfied and disappointed in myself for the weight that I see on the scale, and now it could get worse. I already feel wired with uncertainty every hour. I don’t know what to do. Nobody helps me. I told my ex therapist to her face that I wasn’t eating. She just recommended a dietitian. Are you kidding me? Will I ever get help, or recognized even though my obsession and compulsions seem obscure? I hate this I hate it all so much

Hey all, i am 26M

Disclaimer - i have an OCD, diagnosed for many years and going to a therapist every week.

I've been seeing a girl for 1.5 months - 4 dates.

All the dates were incredible, didnt want to finish them, we talked a lot, we both have many things in common and our communication is great. Within those 4 dates, i did have the urge to talk to her, wanted to know what she thinks and had hard time to continue with the day without wanting to taln with her.

Suddenly, this week i started to feel the uncertainty. I try to assure i attracted to her, that i enjoy being with her, that i want to meet her every day - but i just cant. After getting the assurance she wants me too and we are at the same page, i started feeling nervous and confused. Suddenly i have the doubts of maybe i can find someone more attractive, i lookat her photos every minute, i try to remember what i felt at our dates and i dont feel the urge to see her every second. Moreover, we even talked about the couple thing and agreed on that.

Before her i was in one relationship and had the same thing (but started this with more doubts than the current one).

I am so confused, so sad and i find it so hard to go on the day with all of those thoughts. Was it all a lie? Do i rrally want her? Do misleading her?

Talked to the therapist so she gave me her opinion, but its really fresh and talked only once so i couldnt handle the uncertainty.

Its funny cause my mind is looking only on the appearance, if she's pretty enough to me. (And in general, yes she is attractive), i do know she is not my ideal type and its really the only thing that is disturbing me.

I feel bad and a liar.. cant know what to do

i recently got diagnosed with ocd and one of the biggest triggers for me is my health. anyway i got home and it's really late and i have a shared kitchen (university </3) so i didn't wanna cook and i just wanted something fast and comforting because i was starving (i had barely eaten all day cause i was busy)

anyway i ordered taco bell bc ive been craving it for some reason and when it got here i noticed that the sticker safety seals weren't on properly and they weren't sticking to the bag at all. i ate the food i ordered but im thinking about the seals again and i feel absolutely nauseous and in fear that the delivery driver tampered with my food and im now gonna die

i know statistically theres a very low chance of that happening but i can't stop searching it up and trying to find the picture the driver took before they dropped it off and contemplating if i should throw up all the food to mitigate my distress! so that's fun and i hate ocd so much