I don’t get it. I wipe and wipe and wipe for 10 minutes and I’m still seeing little brown stains on the toilet paper, even after using wet wipes. It’s not a lot but it’s definitely there. My girlfriend literally poops quicker than I pee. I’m so convinced there has to be something wrong with me compared to the average person that makes my poop different or my ass muscles different or something because surely people don’t just walk around with little streaks of poop on them? It’s making ERP impossible because I feel disgusting and unfeminine to walk around with a poopy butt because no woman I’ve ever been with has had that issue I hate it.

It doesn’t help that I have fissures and skin tags that will never go away and those cause issues for wiping even for people without OCD so wtf am I meant to do?

If you had to sum up your OCD experience in one sentence what would you say?

For me: “A total distortion of my mind and reality that has led me into the fiery pits of hell.”

ive hurt people in my life because of my mental illnesses and i feel so bad for it that even years later i still deprive myself of basic needs because i dont think i deserve them after what ive done. i live in a constant loop of self-hatred that i cant even allow myself to be medicated for because i believe that i dont deserve that relief.

but then sometimes i realise that there are people in this world who do genuinely horrible things, and they go on living their lives like nothing happened, and they still think that they deserve good things. there are people who hurt animals and they still order their favourite food while watching tv. there are people who have done the worst things in the world to women and they still go home and hug their parents. i cant do any of those things because i hurt people when i was a child. but they can.

i hate ocd, the only reason i ever hurt anyone was because of ocd, there are other bad things that have happened to me but ocd is even worse than all of those things, worse than grief, worse than ptsd. i would rather experience my worst trauma 5 times than have been born with this thing. what the fuck.

Made a few posts like this which I know is probably reassurance in a way but regardless. I'm a rather dumb person, I read posts or comment threads and always get questions but thanks to knowing about said stupidity, I'm self aware enough to know I've probably phrased it terribly and then I worry about someone screenshotting it and posting it to some other subreddit to laugh and mock me, exposing my stupidity to people happy to dox or stalk or any other variation of online weirdness.

Does anyone else get that?

I don’t want to spoil this show for anyone, but for those who have seen it, I imagine the Beast as representing OCD and the Woodsman keeping the lantern lit as acting on compulsions. Sometimes when I’m struggling it helps me to picture Wirt saying “Wait, that’s dumb.”

Full explanation if you haven’t watched and don’t care about spoilers:There’s a woodsman who spends the entire show chopping wood to fuel a lantern because he believes the flame inside is the only thing keeping his daughter alive (she’s been taken by a character called the Beast). At the end we learn that the Beast has lied about the daughter/ lantern and is actually terrified of the flame going out because it’s the only thing keeping him alive. Great (though probably unintentional) symbol for how acting on compulsions out of a desire to protect someone is just a lie and really only fuels OCD itself.

p.s. If you haven’t seen OTGW: Very cute cartoon, classic fall vibes, sometimes genuinely creepy and NOT for small kids!

I don’t think I have ever fallen asleep in less than an hour in my entire life. It usually takes me
two or three (or more) hours to fall asleep every night because my mind just doesn’t stop or shut up. I’ll replay the day, rehearse tomorrow, cringe at something I said twelve years ago, worry about things that aren’t possible, literally anything and everything except fall asleep.
Anybody else really struggle at night? What are some things that have helped you fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time?

I can get prescribed anything which one would be best to try first? I have ocd and anxiety

I honestly don’t know where to start. My daughter “Bella”, 22, was diagnosed with OCD about a year ago. Apparently she’s had OCD for most of her life. She’d had multiple therapists throughout her years but no one nailed the OCD.

We always thought OCD was like the movies - counting, etc. She had always been “Type A” but now we know it was always OCD. We would do “brain dumps” for the week so she would know what she had to do and the order she needed to do things.

Anyway she developed and eating disorder (orthorexia) and apparently the OCD loves this. She was put on Zoloft and slowly upped to 125 mg. Anxiety lessened. OCD was there but didn’t rule over her life. When she went up to 125mg the transition was really tough.

She didn’t like how the Zoloft made her feel and she went off of it cold turkey. And didn’t tell us. It was 2 weeks of absolute hell. We thought she was losing her mind. OCD and anxiety off the charts. There is also a myriad of other medical problems related to her ED.

She has an OCD therapist that is exposure therapy but she hadn’t been able to do it because she went off her meds and couldn’t handle it. Her PCP prescribed Prozac (she has chronic constipation and this med doesn’t have that side effect) and she will start this week.

We also started alternative medicine (mostly for her constipation and motility issues - also ED related). Things are actually moving (slowly) whether it’s her protocol or pelvic floor therapy or a combo of things but we are seeing improvement. But her anxiety and her OCD is just off the charts and she is now questioning everything and nothing I say is “right”. I can’t argue with the OCD. We go around in circles all the time and she gets angry but I don’t know what to do. I’m so emotionally exhausted. I’m trying to keep her on course but now she’s questioning everything. New meds will take weeks to work and will they work???

I don’t know maybe this is just a vent but I’m so lost right now. Thanks for reading if you did. I hope this all makes sense.

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago, I should feel relieved but instead I feel like I have tricked my doctor.

Ive had signs of OCD since I was at least eight, but somehow when I hear other people talking about their OCD and it sounds different from the mine, I convince myself I don’t have it. I always thought of OCD was super neat and organized but I constantly feel like my life is falling apart. Does anyone else have this? How do I stop feeling this way?

i’m so angry and frustrated at my younger self. i did something weird when i was a kid (yknow when you’re all hormonal and discovering everything and curious about what everything means and feels like) and now i feel so sick to my stomach every time i bring it up. it was weird, like really fucking weird, and i’m having a lot of trouble of getting past it.

i keep having the urge to confess to someone but at the same time, it’s something i want to keep to myself. i just don’t know how i didn’t know it was wrong. i get i was a kid. if someone came to me with the same stress and fear and disgust, i would tell them to have some grace for themself, but i can’t with myself.

i’m so horrific and i feel like a monster. i feel like im lying to everyone by not just confessing to them. i feel like i cannot have relationships or friendships anymore. i can’t eat. i have trouble sleeping. it’s stuck in my head on repeat.

how do i get through this?

I am desperate.

I developed ocd suddenly at age 8. Very very severe (spent 4-6hrs a day on compulsions). My parents thought I was “crazy” and we lived rural so I was just initially diagnosed but never got therapy or meds.

Teenage years were a lot better until about 16yo. Finally sought care once I turned 18 by myself.

It went downhill so much again. I'm now 19 spending 1-2hrs a day on compulsions.

I'm working with a psychiatrist who has tried me for weeks/months on:

Zoloft -> zero effect Effector -> extremely bad, made it so much worse Paxil -> very bad, mad it worse Lexapro -> the one I'm on now which is a little better than the other ones but basically zero effect on me

And of course: Working with an OCD specialized psychologist who I see weekly for CBT (I've tried multiple and finally found one who seems to be the right fit although I don't see much progress). Yes I do the homework etc.

I'm coming to my absolute wits end.

What helped your OCD? Is there any meds that worked that I haven't tried? Is there something I'm doing wrong?

I’m muslim and have OCD. I struggle with the concept of evil eye a lot. If i ever say anything about accomplishments (e.g, grades) or applications to university, I get so incredibly anxious and feel as though I’ve lost the accomplishment or what I wanted to get already, or it feels like only a certain amount of time until i do. I’ll say and repeat Masha’Allah or Allahumabarik immediately, but if i forget, i’ll spiral after. which isn’t great because I also have false memory OCD, so i’ll convince myself neither of us said it. Encountering people who are pushy about knowing things about you is the absolute worst.

It’s not about not having trust in Allah’s plan or holding plans at such a high level that I’m afraid to lose them. It’s literally just anxiety and intrusive thoughts that people knowing will ultimately cause things to fail and fall apart (which i know isn’t true, but that doesn’t change anything). I simply won’t tell family or people who need to know, like teachers about applications because of this.

Super weird, but i wonder if this is common among muslims or people who have the concept of evil eye in their culture w OCD?

Does anyone else have really bad social OCD? Not necessarily only with romantic relationships, but just in general? If someone feels "off" or texts back "wrong" or yells in my vicinity I freak out and I actually had a full blown panic attack after someone got mad around me a few days ago. I tend to just shut down and try to make myself palatable, but trying to make new friends sucks because it always restarts the same cycle. The only way it goes away is if I isolate myself. I just frequently apologize otherwise and then it's not good for anyone.

Anyway, working through this with a therapist as well, but wanting to know if any other folks with OCD experience anything like this.

Something that has been bothering my OCD lately has been appendicitis and how it just can happen at any time whenever. It's the thought of not knowing when and if it'll happen and how painful it is 😭.

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I can't handle them anymore. They are driving me insane. I don't know what to do anymore. Every day they get worse and worse. I have no treatment for them. People brush them. They think it's easy saying just try not to think about them. It's not easy as they say it is.

My thoughts go round and round in my head. Idk what do anymore.

My wife has quite severe OCD. When she asks me questions about a compulsion, I’ll say something like “I know it’s really horrible and you’re feeling anxious but we know my answer won’t help”. It’s heartbreaking for me as it goes against all my instincts. She also says that she feels dismissed when I don’t offer reassurance and it’s impacting our relationship.

I don’t think it helps that her mum does reassure her, so it feels like she’s getting support from one side but not the other.

Any suggestions?

I had my intake appointment last week at this trans / neurodivergent clinic. My case is severe I suppose because it is getting prioritized🤪. We made a safety plan and it wasn’t even technically the first session yet.

They are setting me up with a peer support specialist and I have another intake appointment this week. They’re v v trans, trauma, and neurodivergent informed, which is a first. They also might help me expedite finally getting back on my meds since I’ve been running into red tape issues at this other “emergency” clinic I went to for refills.

There are also support groups, body doubling sessions, and food pantry drop-offs. And since my sensory issues are also apparently severe, they’re trying to help me get set up with an occupational therapist.

I’ve NEVER had a mental healthcare provider listen the way that they did. And they knew so much about autism, ADHD, OCD, and C-PTSD. I won’t nerd out about that stuff in here yet ‘cause my brain is getting sleepy, but it was so cool.

I have been going through it since I exited the womb, I fear. I know that recovery won’t be easy—nothing ever is—but the thought of finally having the proper tools to manage my OCD, autism, ADHD, and C-PTSD feels like such a relief. I’ve needed good professional help for such a long time.

My SI / intrusive SI thoughts have still been a lot to deal with, but at least I have appointments on the books now and I’ll hopefully be back on my meds soon.

BIG WIN.🖤

I don't even have the energy to write out a long vent because I'm so exhausted because of this disorder, it's so bad I can't enjoy anything, it effects me mentally and physically, it seems like ever since last spring (2025) this shit has been unbearable and it's honestly a miracle how I'm still going at this point, no matter what I do, nothing works, no amount of exposure or anything works with this utter bullshit. I don't even know what to fucking do anymore,.

I was diagnosed a week or two ago and I’m learning how deep this has been me. I kind of want to cry? Like feeling like there is an answer? But I’m worried to lean into attributing too much to OCD?
I am and have always been BIG on optimizing and not “wasting time”. Since I was a kid, I recall getting positive feedback for organizing my toys and being super excited and focused on that. I wasn’t obsessed with things being orderly but more just away, like open surfaces? I also feel a mess when I am not keeping busy. It’s like I’m always telling myself “if you have time to lean you got time to clean”.
Yea, I guess it’s a ton of unpacking but I’m afraid I’m ruminating on the OCD symptoms, even though I think I’m just processing but now I’m ruminating on if I’m ruminating?
This is new and I don’t want OCD to turn into the default answer for everything?

I am struggling to exist. Flock cameras everywhere, my devices that I spiraled about spying on me are in fact spying on me, I have no vision of the future because I am stuck in this endless loop of fear and anxiety that I am going to be randomly picked up off the street and punished for something I did that was bad (even if I don’t remember doing it, I probably did, right?).

I feel like I am in my own personal hell with no escape and I don’t understand what the heck to do about it other than hope things change sooner than later.

I’m tired of feeling afraid of being watched in my own home. Everything is a performance now whether I like it or not.

I’m so so so exhausted