I've been isolated sm in my life. I try to make an actual connection, but its so hard. I'm in uni, and its as if everyone has their own people. The reason I'm writing under this post is cuz I wanna know how u guys do it and actually make friends? I try to connect and I feel so iced out. And how do people msg each other. I've tried to msg severalll people, but they're all so dry. I try follow up qs, or random stuff, but absolutely nothing. the thing I wanna make meaningful connections with girls, but why is it so much harder to talk and connect w them, like genuinely feels like its so easy to make male friends rather than girls. Can someone genuinely explain what I need to do? How I should connect w people?

I am struggling with self esteem. I wonder if there are ways of becoming more confident when I loath myself easily and I think people find me weird. I always think that people see me in a negative way because of what I said or this and that. And it is not helping that I failed to make friends. So...is there anything I can do about this...? I often think that in order to not live with this feeling , it is better to not seek human connection and to be utterly silent. Because showing opinions and such makes people have more access to things to judge you for and hence to protect myself from such judgement I always find being quiet is the best policy.

My ex (40M) is and I (32F) dated for about 9 months. It was serious. He flew across the world to meet my family. We had lunch every Sunday with his mom. I met all his friends.

We were exclusive, talked about having kids and moving in together, and, a month before dumping me, he called ours the healthiest relationship of his LIFE.

I've never been more in love. He's the most brilliant, attractive, sartorial, socially connected, rule breaking entrepreneur, I've ever met.

Things unraveled in our final month.

2 months into dating, he was late for drinks after attending a gallery opening with Catherine, a former lover. Though they hadn't slept together in months, she'd assumed they were still casually dating and cried when he mentioned me.

He clarified to her that he wanted me to be just friends. He admired her intellectually and wanted to preserve the friendship, as he did with many former lovers he considered family. I trusted him and believed his interest was purely platonic.

Fast-forward to month 7: Catherine invited him to a small, multi-day art residency that August. He told me he was going, not asking how i felt about it. I bit my tongue. But grew anxious.

After sitting with my discomfort for weeks, I finally brought it up. Could we find some middle ground -- maybe hang out all together?

He grew defensive, said he didn't believe in 'prioritizing romantic partners over other relationships', doubling down on how his friends are like family, and complained that our 20-minute conversation was eating into his workday. When I came back from the bathroom, he kissed me and said sorry for getting upset.

**The very next night, our second-to-last before three weeks apart,** he went to a performance with Catherine without telling me. Later, he texted inviting me to join him and friends at a bar. I only then learned he'd been with her and sent some pretty reactive texts....His response? “Why? But honestly, don’t feel like going on defensive right now.”

Other incidents had been accumulating:

**1.** After a tense convo about his doubts around long term monogamy, I took an extra 30-minute walk while fetching drinks for his project. I returned before anyone arrived, but he accused me of "sabotaging" his work. I hadn't communicated that I needed space.

**2.** I biked slower than him, causing us to arrive ONE MINUTE late to class. We were turned away, and he blamed me for interfering with his productivity. When i asked for reassurance during his sulky mood asking if he 'still saw a future with me' like he assured me a month ago, he shrugged and said 'sometimes'. That stung. I left him there, and he called and said sorry.

**3.** A month before we split, I met some of his fashion-world friends in LA. I felt out of place at a party while he mingled independently. The next day, he said I'd “brought the energy down.” I admitted I'd felt unclaimed; he said he wanted us to move through these spaces as a cool, creative unit. I apologized. At the breakup, he cited my alleged “social rejection” by some of those friends as a reason we weren't compatible.

I never demanded that he abandon his friendships NOR tried to control him.

But I recognize that my insecurity was probably palpable, even when unspoken. I wasn't always my relaxed, confident self, and perhaps he felt he couldn't simply exist without triggering my anxiety.

When he ended things with me (over the phone) he cited my insecurity, "possessive energy" around other women, and doubts about our long term incompatibility.

MOST INSULTING: He then suggested we remain 'lovers' because he didn't want to lose me....

For the past 3 months since the breakup, I've wondered whether a securely attached woman would have trusted him more, accepted his autonomy, and avoided creating so much emotional tension. Whether I sabotaged an otherwise extraordinary relationship.

Did I ruin it? did I lose the best man i'll ever have? that's what it feels like.

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I’ve been struggling with this for a while, and I’m wondering if anyone else experiences something similar or has found a way to get past it.

I feel awkward around people a lot of the time, even though there are moments when I’m completely fine. It’s hard to explain, but sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to act naturally around others. I start questioning my body language, how I’m standing, what I’m doing with my hands, where I’m looking, and whether people can tell that I’m uncomfortable.

For example, I was at a marketplace recently waiting for drinks with my boyfriend. My drink was ready, but his wasn’t, so I was just standing there waiting. For some reason, I started feeling frozen and didn’t know what to do with myself. It’s like I become overly aware of my body and suddenly forget how to act normally, even though I’m literally just standing there.

It also happens when I’m talking to people. Sometimes I struggle to find a word, and I become so aware of myself that I feel like I’m freezing up. Then I start wondering if the other person notices how awkward I’m being. Also, I also have a hard time during transitions. Like when I’m looking at something and then have to shift my attention to something else, walk away, or move on to another activity, I either do it really fast or I freeze up for a second. I get butterflies in my stomach too, and I don’t really know why. It’s hard to explain, but even simple things like that can make me feel awkward or uncomfortable.

The weird thing is that this can happen when I’m alone, too. I’ll be sitting in bed and sometimes feel uncomfortable with myself or not know what to do with myself. I also overthink a lot. I replay past experiences, think about embarrassing moments, imagine conversations in my head, and worry about situations that haven’t even happened.

Also, I think some of my awkwardness might come from past work experiences, especially in kitchens. I’ve had bosses and coworkers treat me badly, and I often felt tense and singled out. Even now, I replay those experiences in my head and wonder if they affected my confidence.

I feel like all this overthinking might be affecting how I act around people, but I honestly don’t know if that’s what’s causing it.

Sometimes I think my body language looks confident, but other times I feel like I look incredibly awkward. I can’t tell if people actually notice anything or if I’m just too aware of myself.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did you figure out what was causing it? What helped you stop overthinking and feel more comfortable in your own skin?

I’m genuinely looking for advice from people who have been through something similar because I really want to stop feeling this way and learn how to be more natural around others.

I am a university student. I care a lot about modesty, respect, and social values.

I am a university student. I really value modesty, respect, and social values, but maybe because of too much respect, I get so shy and anxious in front of girls that sometimes it feels difficult to walk properly.

Asking questions in class, talking for something important, or giving presentations in front of girls also feels challenging. I keep thinking, are they judging me?

Almost 4 years have passed in university, but I haven’t spoken to any girl yet. Friends say that modesty and respect are important, but it's also necessary to overcome this fear because communication will be needed in both life and jobs.

I want to feel less anxious in front of girls, to speak about important things confidently, and to learn how to have conversations in a casual way.

If anyone has gone through this or knows practical ways to overcome it, please guide me. Comment or message me. Thank you very much.

So just a lil background.

I'm 25M and I am a Copywriter.

I was told I was gifted since childhood and I am a single child.

Now, where did the mommy and daddy issues start?

Right after college.

Because I was spoon fed till college and I grew up in a tier 3 city. I was good at my studies but I was more of a momma's boy. My mom's a college teacher and she said, don't date girls cuz they will cheat you or something.

(Again she should've mentioned not all girls but that's the part about blind believing)

So I pretty much never really dated. I never stayed in a hostel and I got everything from clothes to food from my parents without knowing any life skills.

I got good grades and moved to work. I was 22.

Here's where the problems actually begin:

1. I didn't know how to do laundry, cook, manage money or even talking to women.

2. Sudden withdrawal of help made me look helpless and I got mad at my parents instead of taking it slowly.

3. I mostly don't pick up their calls and develop poor self esteem issues. I thought my parents never let me take my own decisions.

I got mad that I moved from Chennai to Bangalore just to escape them.

But I still feel lonely and sad in this city and I miss my parents. Not the safety but the love.

Here's how I fixed it:

I tried therapy but it didn't work. I was broke and don't have the privilege of taking therapy.

So today I called my parents and asked them 3 questions.

I was also able to get my answers not directly but here's what I asked:

**1. Are they happy with where I am today if it was without their help?**

Their answer (roughly):

We are happy that you figured it out on your own. this was our first time parenting and we wanted only the best for you.

If that disturbed from making your own decisions we are sorry. We just didn't want you to make any wrong decisions.

**2. If I want to be independent, what should I do?**

Their answer (roughly):

I think you already are independent. You took initiative, found a place and settled in a city even we couldn't.

I don't call you dependent but there are a few life skills you lack, such as proper communication, budget management and driving and it'll soon come with practice.

Just be happy with what you got and take things slow with what you have.

**3. Why didn't you teach me all the life skills as a child? I feel so stupid now.**

Their answer (roughly):

I think we should have and yes, we are first time parents and we are working also.

But you don't have to feel stupid.

If you feel you lack something in your life,

I think the easiest way to get something, if you feel it's missing from your life, is to have accountability and fix that thing that's bothering you instead of blaming it on us.

We tried to give the best experience we could but if you still feel like you lack some experience in life, better take accountability and do it with excitement not with hatred or revenge.

So yeah, that's what I wish they said but I really think everyone should just talk to them when they are free.

heart to heart.

and I'm glad I did.

I've been struggling with something lately, and I'd really appreciate some advice from people who have dealt with similar experiences.

I feel like I'm a very sensitive person, and deep down, I think I have a fear of rejection. I tend to value people's opinions, comments, and approval way more than I probably should. Sometimes, I feel like I have to keep everyone happy and make sure nobody is upset with me. I find it difficult to stand up for myself when someone hurts me, and I hate that I often can't respond firmly or defend myself in the moment.

I know I need to develop healthier boundaries and stop letting other people's opinions determine how I feel about myself. I want to be comfortable with who I am without constantly worrying about whether people like me or approve of me.

For context, there are people at work who make comments about my looks and appearance. It bothers me, especially because I don't want to change myself just to meet other people's expectations. Most of the time, I try to laugh it off and keep things light, but sometimes I end up giving them a taste of their own medicine. That usually doesn't end well, and I don't want to keep getting caught up in these back-and-forth exchanges.

I want to learn how to stand up for myself without being rude, remain respectful without being a people-pleaser, and earn respect without feeling the need to prove myself to everyone.

Another thing I've noticed about myself is that I tend to pretend everything is okay even when it isn't. Everyone knows me as the happy person, so I feel like I have to keep playing that role even when I'm hurting inside. I also notice that I sometimes change my personality depending on who I'm around, almost like a chameleon, because I want to be liked and accepted.

I'm honestly tired of living this way. I want to become more comfortable with myself, learn to value myself, and stop changing who I am just to fit in. I want to be authentic, express my feelings without feeling guilty, and stop being so afraid of rejection.

For those of you who have struggled with people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or constantly seeking validation from others:

• How did you learn to set boundaries without feeling guilty?
• How do you deal with people who make hurtful comments without retaliating or simply suppressing your feelings?
• How do you stop caring so much about what other people think of you?
• How do you learn to be yourself around different people without feeling the need to adjust your personality to fit in?
• How do you stop pretending to be happy all the time and become more comfortable with being vulnerable?

I'd genuinely appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or practical things that have helped you overcome these struggles. I'm not expecting to change overnight, but I want to start making progress and become a more confident, authentic version of myself.

Thanks for reading! ❤️

So guys I'm 24M I have joined a degree course i have made a few freinds over there and due to year gaps I'm the oldest amongst them.

And in my batch we are only 4 boys and 2 girls (having the same major) and we (boys) usually stay together and having minimal conversation with that girl.

I have noticed that the other 3 boys makes fun of almost everyone and not even a healthy one but demeaning, making the other person feel small/submissive and during the initial days there was as such no issue between us but as soon as i have started pointing this out or try not to joke about anyone who has not caused no harm to us or making derogatory remarks.

They have started referring to me as a pu$$y or you don't have balls since I'm not comfortable doing such things recently we had an unofficial trip in that trip they have united making plans to go out but wanted me to stay in the hotel or making jokes amongst themselves i felt so under confident like and whenever I try to act like them (cracking dark jokes) they start to shame me make fun of me and not all 3 of them are like that there's this oversmart guy who thinks he owns acting as a group leader.

The other two have fallen for the "Looking Cool" part. They have even left me in the middle of nowhere and later they were joking about it also i don't want to create any scene since all of us are dependent on each other for notes/attendance/projects works.

What should i do ?

okay so for a bit of background, I‘m 17 years old and have undiagnosed severe social anxiety. i get stressed out just walking into class because i’m afraid a teacher may ask me a question i don’t know the answer to in front of everybody. i also struggle with asking to use the bathroom.

anyway, the “thing” that makes me feel more socially confident is a school dance. for the past year, i’ve gone to my school dances, and everytime i do, i feel like i can be myself in front of whoever.

for example, last night i was at a dance and i was lightsaber fighting with a friend in the middle of the dance circle, when i accidentally bumped into a girl. rather than freezing up like i typically would, i apologized and continued with the duel.

and yes, i believe this is partially because all my friends are there and the lights are off, so i feel like it’s harder for people to see me. but i noticed last night that even after the lights came on i was still confident with myself. I thanked one of the teacher’s who organized the event and told her that the lightsabers were really fun, and throughout the rest of the night, i was unapologetically myself. i didn’t feel as if i needed to reach anyones expectations.

if anyone has any theories for why this phenomenon happens every time i go to a dance, or if you have had a similar experience, please let me know!🖤🖤

TL;DR: I feel confident and I feel like i can be 100% myself when at school dances for some reason.

​

I recently learned that people sometimes use dark humor at work, especially in healthcare, to cope with the stress of dealing with death, difficult patients, and emotionally exhausting situations.

What exactly is dark humor? Could you share some examples of things people say in the ICU or hospital that would be considered dark humor?

If you work in healthcare, what are some examples of dark humor you’ve heard at work?

I’m genuinely curious and trying to understand this side of workplace culture.

Yo, I’m a 25m who tries to be kind to everyone, but I’ve never really been the type to initiate convos with women, so I don’t have much experience with female friendships. Most of the ones I’ve had have eventually faded, and one female acquaintance I used to talk to more doesn’t really chat with me much anymore, although she’s still polite.

There were only two incidents that made me question if I’m weird, and both involved her. Once, I made a quirky joke and she responded with “what?” In a confused, and i immediately regretted saying that joke after as it was kinda something i said on impulse. Another time, I responded to something she said with a cheeky response and my male acquaintance told me to stfu, and the whole room went quiet.

These are literally the only two moments I can think of, so it’s not like this happens all the time. I just haven’t interacted with enough women to know if there’s actually a pattern. Sometimes tho, I feel like the more women get to know me, the more they lose interest. At the same time, I have friends, a lot of guy acquaintances who seem to like me, some people find me funny, and my female colleagues seem happy to be around me when we meet up, but we mostly work remotely.

Part of me feels like maybe some people just don’t match my vibe and I should stop caring so much and focus on people who actually reciprocate my energy. But then my brain goes, “Nah, what if they’re not the problem and you’re actually just weird? Maybe you need to work on yourself” 😭.

So idk, am I actually weird around women or am I overthinking two awkward interactions? Do you guys experience this too? Should I stop blaming myself for not clicking with everyone, or is there actually something I need to work on?

Hello folks,

People who have successfully worked out from social anxiety, how did you do it? Any tips and practices for improvement?

Thanks and regards

Yesterday I walked up to 14 women on the street. Somewhere along the way I got into what I call god mode. That almost ridiculous state where conversations flow, people smile, and I feel like the most natural version of myself.

After the week I'd had, I really needed that.

Lately my confidence has taken a beating, but not in dating. At work. I'm 50, I've been in tech a long time, and I've built more in the last couple of years than ever before. And still I've been asking myself whether anybody actually wants what I have to offer.

I've been trying hard. Building demos, contacting companies, pitching ideas. A freelance gig shows up, then nothing. A recruiter reaches out, I reply, nothing. A job interview where they seem interested, even look me up online, and then... nothing.

We had a big customer workshop on Friday, something I should have been excited about. I was so exhausted from a trip that I didn't feel present. Now I'm half convinced they noticed and will walk away.

I came home from that trip running on empty. I cried on the flight home, and again when I got home. My dog died earlier this year, I ended a relationship, and some friendships feel a bit distant right now. But I've been through single periods and dog-less periods before. What's really hurting is work. That feeling of being good at something and nobody caring.

Sometimes I wonder if I've just become a guy who builds impressive things nobody needs. If all my enthusiasm is just hot air. That's a horrible question to ask yourself when so much of who you are is about making things.

So yesterday I went out. I was rusty at first. On the 6th woman I actually managed to stay in the conversation, which matters, because I have this habit of leaving too quickly. Almost like the thing I want gets scary the moment it's actually happening. There was a connection, but I talked too fast and still left too early.

Later I stopped a tall woman with a lovely name. Even shorter conversation. Afterwards I thought, ah fuck, another one where I ran off.

I'd got her Instagram, so I sent "Nice to meet you ;)". Hours later she replied "Hehe 😊". Not exactly a marriage proposal.

Then I decided to just tell the truth. I wrote: "I know it was short 😅 I have to admit that it's very scary to do that, so it makes me want to run away - even though I want to get to know you."

She thought it was sweet. She said things like that never happen here. She said compliments from strangers are the best, and that she and a friend had just been talking about wishing more people would walk up to someone they find attractive and say hi.

And then she said I'd made her day better.

Update: We now have a date this coming Saturday.

I'd made her day better. By walking over, being nervous, leaving too early, and then admitting it.

The contrast with my work life is almost absurd. At work I spend months building, pitching, following up, and mostly hear silence. Yesterday I talked to a stranger for maybe a minute, admitted I was scared, and now I have a date. She’s also 11cm taller than me and I love it.

What gets me is that she didn't need me to be smooth. I wasn't calm. I didn't perform. I was nervous and I left too early. She liked that I dared anyway, scared and all.

I've spent years chasing that perfect, secure, charismatic state. And I still love it, I got there yesterday. But the moment that actually landed came from being honest about the fear, not from hiding it.

I think I've been in a crisis of confidence at work, and I've been asking the wrong question. Not "am I actually good at this?" but "where are the people who want what I do?" That's a different problem, and a less painful one.

I can feel miserable on Thursday, drained and unsure on Friday, and by Saturday afternoon be walking around the city laughing and feeling like life is a wonderful adventure. What a ridiculous creature I am.

And the best part is I didn't have to become someone else for it. I just had to go outside and be me.

I've started writing about days like this, every day. It helps.

Just turned 50, in perimenopause and struggling with the fact that after a lifetime of being athletic/ active, eating healthy, and avoiding smoking/ drugs, I now look like a rotting potato. I was never a beauty, but I could look cute if I got dressed up. Now I could put 100% into improving my appearance I'm probably still going to look bad by most standards.

I'm trying to find confidence in myself as I look now but it's hard. Most days I feel invisible but other times I feel like people are annoyed or disgusted that I exist in the same space as "real" people. Example: I went out to a brunch place with my husband because we heard it was good. When we got there, it looked pretty trendy: social media ready decor, stylish attractive staff, a waitlist for people who hadn't made a reservation (we did). The food was good but I left feeling awful because it was clear that the staff were annoyed to have two old, unattractive people taking up space and ruining the cool vibe of their place. No chitchat, no eye contact. No coming back to the table after the food was delivered. Had to go to the front to ask for the check because we couldn't flag down waitstaff. Meanwhile staff was having a great time with the tables around us.

I'm not ready to only go out to Denny's for the senior special. I have a fair amount of life ahead of me and I still want to experience new things. How do I get confident enough to do that in a world that finds older women gross/ annoying?

I’d like some reassurance about something I experience every day.
I know I’m not the only one whose stomach swells after every meal. Apparently, this is normal. But how much swelling is considered normal?
Sometimes in the morning, I wake up with a fairly flat stomach. As soon as I eat something, it feels like it swells up.
And when I eat “a lot” (I eat less than most people I know), my stomach literally looks like that of a woman who’s 4 or 5 months pregnant…

I’ve even shocked some friends with how big my stomach gets when I’m full.
And because of my natural arch in my back, my stomach sticks out even more, and I really look pregnant… I hate that.
My family teases me about my stomach, too. My mom sometimes tells me I’m skinny but have a big belly…

I remember as a kid I never gave a fuck about how I looked and neither was i ever jealous of people who were better looking then me. I cared more about my hobbies and maintaining my non romantic relationships.

When I started 11th grade and had to move out of my home town it's like a flip switched and became so obsessed with how I looked and how others precieved me. I think the main reason was moving to a new place and meeting new people I realised how different people treated me when I looked good and when I didn't.

Another reason was I started getting a lot of compliments. When I was in my home town I never really interacted with strangers a lot and was mainly surrounded by people I had known since I was in kindergarten.

So the high of just random people coming up to you and telling you your gorgeous was intoxication.

Now I know I'm not ugly but I also know I'm not insanely pretty or anything. On most days, I don't get enough sleep, and the eye bags start showing and i have unpredictable curly hair that only looks good once a week.

And even knowing that I look fine, I'm obsessed with how attractive people find me to an unhealthy extent. I spend hours infront if the mirror to the extent my legs start hurting, I avoid mirrors cause I know I'd start spiralling, I cancel plans cause I know when I get back and see my tired face in the mirror I'd start spiralling again.

Small comments from people like "your eye bags are showing" or "you look tired" or "you need to gain a bit of weight" can ruin my entire day cause I won't be able to get the comment out of my head. I crave validation about my physical appearance so much that it ruins hangouts with my friends cause I can never stop wondering if they think I'm good-looking when they're talking to me.

I tried therapy once, and what do you know? Going to the sessions gives me anxiety cause I'd start wondering if the 60 year old female therapist thinks I'm ugly. Therapy isn't an option rn too cause of financial reasons, and I don't wanna waste that much money just to feel worse whenever i go out for the sessions.

I wish I could spend this much energy and time on my hobbies cause they bring me so much joy, but the compulsion is just so overbearing.

And it's not even rooted in wanting a romantic partner cause I have no interest in that anymore.

I want it to stop so bad. It's like I've lost the ability to think about anything els for more then 5 minutes and it's sucking the joy out of my life I've tried not caring but it doesn't matter how many problems I have in my life this one always comes on top. I got my finals result a few days ago that put's me in a position where I'd have a chance at getting in a top college if I do good next year and I didn't even feel happy about that for more then 2 minutes. I wanna care about other things so bad.

Recently, I had to record a series of voice memos. Worse, I had to listen back to them. Jesus Christ. I'd rather face a stampede of buffalo than hear another thirty seconds of that. lol. Weak. Ugly. Almost painful to listen to. Is that really me? Is that what everyone else hears? I owe the general public an apology.

I thought I sounded okay. Not great. I knew I never had a wonderful voice, but I didn't realise it was that bad. Apparently, my skull has been running a rather generous PR campaign. But jokes aside, it genuinely hurt. Embarrassment. Shame. Even panic. I've spent years struggling with my appearance. Now my voice has joined the party. Splendid.

So, how do I fix this? I'm nearly forty, and I want a stronger, deeper, more confident speaking voice. Has anyone successfully improved theirs through vocal coaching, exercises, or practice? And did changing your voice actually improve your confidence?

I'd genuinely appreciate hearing what worked.

How do you build self esteem and self confidence on your own during adulthood without any support system?

For someone who doesn't have social circle, no mentors, no role model, nothing to look up to, how is it? Is it possible? I think my saving grace is medias to consume. Looking for advices.

I am 18 years old and am currently an electrical apprentice, but I know that I don’t want to do this for a career anymore. I want to get a regular job right now and go to school at a community college until I figure out exactly what I want to do, then finish at a major university. I live with my parents and they are super supportive and great parents. I don’t understand why I’m scared to tell my parents I want to go back to school and get a job because I know they’d be happy for me and support me no matter what. Thanks for the help

26F. Have tried various therapies over the years, the last one made me really depressed. I know my low self esteem comes from childhood neglect, and have cut my family off as they triggered me. I've moved around a lot, and had a lot of jobs. Been to uni, got a degree, not using it at all. Diagnosed ADHD and in the titration period so meds don't seem to have an effect yet.

My friends describe me as someone kind, inclusive, honest and someone that cares too much about what other people think of me.

Recently broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years, partly due to low self esteem ruining my life.

Has anyone been in a similar boat, has it improved? How has it? What did you do? I feel like I'm always trying to do the right things, and nothing changes. I always feel like this.

I went for a checkup to see about my exhaustion and I also told the doctor that I have anxiety because when he checked my pulse i had a heart rate of above 100.

I told him i struggle talking to people and I feel really uncomfortable and he just laughed at me saying a girl who studied at that college has social anxiety? And just laughed.

I felt weird like is this how a doctor is supposed to react to someone who says they have anxiety? Are all doctors this way? I was thinking of seeing a psychologist now im not so sure.

So, I’m 24f and I have been unemployed for the longest time which means I don’t get out much. Most of my days consist of staying home because I don’t have a car, job, or friends. When I was high school student it wasn’t much different. I just went to school and then went straight back home. Now don’t get me wrong, I do have hobbies. I like reading , listening to music and watching shows. But that’s about it , since I can’t really afford to do much else. I noticed in social situations ,though , I don’t have very much to say. For instance, I was talking to a cashier and she asked about my plans. But because literally my day consists of those four things I mentioned , that felt almost impossible to answer, to which I ended up responding “just relaxing.” I could see the look on the cashiers face which looked to be confused and uncomfortable. I feel like most people would have a better response to that question but I literally didn’t know what to say because nothing goes on in my life. In fact, after I paid for my stuff, I looked over my shoulder and saw that the cashier was having a much better time conversing with other shoppers. Which made me feel like obviously it’s a me issue.

It’s the same in Ubers. Sometimes I am asked about my day and what I got going on, but I usually don’t know how to respond, so I’ll just say something like “just chilling” or “nothing much” but I feel like this makes people uncomfortable because they probably don’t know how to respond to that. It got me to wondering too, how am i gonna date if I don’t have things to talk about ? Because obviously in a date you have something interesting to say otherwise it makes you come off as bland. And honestly I consider myself an attractive person and I probably wouldn’t have trouble finding someone to date, but I think my looks are the only thing I got going for myself. My actual social skills is what’s hindering me from making good connections with people I feel like. Unfortunately I’m not sure how to fix this, because nothing goes on in my life. I feel like most people don’t want to hear what book you’ve been reading or what games you’ve been playing. They want to hear about “real adult things.” Or whatever.

How to set limits and boundaries when you have low self esteem ?

I am new to this company (1 month) and I work as a secretary. My co worker is also new , she joined a week before me. She works as financial helper. She has her own office.

I work directly with the owner of the company and my office is inside the same place as the owner. We have a big floor and there's a big sign outside the door that says "do not enter" so if someone wants to come they would knock on the door and they should talk to me because I am the secretary.

Now..this girl gets too personal to me, and I try to avoid her because I'm trying to be professional but I can't, when I go to eat without telling her she makes comments "oh! You went to have lunch without me!" , I didn't say anything and tried to be nice, I chat with her ..ect.

I told her to not come to my place if it's not work related, but she keeps coming and saying "hey! I'm.checking on you!" Last time she tried to get into the owner place and I stopped her, but I didn't have the courage to say "this place is off limit" I just said "they can see you don't go!" I didn't communicate well..

I get off work at 4pm, she started coming at 4pm and tell me "let's go!" That was uncomfortable because last time we had visitors and she just came to tell me we need to go, I told her respectfully to not come again, I know times over at 4pm. We had visitors and i was afraid they see her because she's not allowed in there.

I texted her and explained to her to not come again unless it's related to work, I also explained some specific thing, I said "when you give Me a document, please explain to me what is it clearly" She Said "I don't know" I replied with "how? You made the document you should know!"

Later that day she took it personally and accused me of telling her she's bad at her work...

Today however. I was trying to print some document, my boss told me it was secret document and no body should see it, but the printer stopped working. So my boss sent another CO worker to help me. We were just trying to figure it out but she randomly came to help us. I did not ask for help, and because the document was secret I was afraid it would print and she would see the document. So I told her "can you please leave us alone?" She made angry face and left. Later she called me rude.

I don't know how to deal with her, I try to set boundaries as you can see but I have low self esteem, I'm trying my best to communicate.

I already communicated clearly (I believe) , I try to avoid her at lunch I have changed my whole lunch time so I never meet her, but I know this is not possible, I know I need to be strong and communicate clearly but some people just don't understand boundaries and I'm kinda new to setting them. Please advice me .

I feel my heart racing when I communicate, but I want to change. But at the same time I don't want to sound rude, please advice me.

**Huge approach anxiety 😥**
**I’m super shy not and confident at all…I prefer to avoid conversations with women because I’m afraid I’ll say something wrong…I see myself as uninteresting and always considered myself not being good enough for anyone…These feelings are killing me and in don’t know how to overcome and fight them…I’m desperate for someone to love…**