ever since i was little i’ve always been super distracted and impulsive, and in recent times discovered i’ve always had adhd. around 6 years ago i got Depersonalization/derealization thru smoking weed(panic attack) so for years i’ve been trying to get lean bc in my dissociated mind, the way ill feel safe is if i feel sexy asf in my body yk what i’m sayin, but every single thing i try to do(fasting, count calories, just do steps, restrict, don’t restrict) every single method possible that i’ve tried makes my brain SUPER OBSESS over what i should do and my gut goes into survival mode and i can never do anything, even back then i would try and get some momentum but i would just end up bingeing, but nowadays im just burnt out i don’t even get a day far, so then im like alright fuck it drop all the tryna lose weight shi, and wtv, but then my mind feels super bland, dissociated 24/7, racing thoughts and i just feel like shi abt myself, and my mind seems to get excited every time i find a new “method” bc then ik ill finally feel good in my body and heal dpdr. sounds dumb looking for the outside, but this is what my brain has been stuck on for the past couple years. i already how it works, id basically have to be in a deficit and go to the gym, i already have muscle, all i wanted was to get lean, but then when i drop these goals i only seem to suffer more and eat more too, its like i can’t win on either side so if anybody got any actual good tips for me that would be helpful.

I do not experience fear as a feeling anymore, or any feeling for that matter. But fear is on my mind 24/7, as well as questioning everything. All my thoughts are trying to prevent death, danger or going insane. I question everything i see, why the world is the way it is. It’s like my mind is a never ending puzzle trying to be solved.

I see people get on planes and wonder how they could possibly feel safe, or why they aren’t like me in this state. I used to fly no problem prior to this. But I can’t understand how that was me, because i cant feel that person and safety anymore. I am constantly hyper aware of when I feel weird, of like I could die at any second. it’s a constant alarm. I also do not believe or comprehend anything at all. Even the state I’m in, my mind can’t understand it or how it’s possible. I’m so scared of myself and the world; but I don’t feel afraid - it’s like an message coming from my subconscious all day every day.

the cruelest paradox of this is, I’m very high functioning. And I don’t know how. I run a business. I am out of the house every day, I am with people. I am doing normal things. But I am void of any safety. I dont know how the world functions as completely fine and I’m in this world of my own where I can’t get on a plane, I’m afraid of my own consciousness and existence, and I don’t feel safe to exist. My nervous system sees feeling and existence as danger and I don’t know how it’ll ever unlearn this.

my dreams are endless stories; not nightmares. Endless emotional processing and worlds that I’ve never experienced. I don’t feel fear. I feel a void, a sense of being so fragile. A sense of going crazy at any time. Time just goes so fast, a whole day gone in a blink. I rest, but my mind never turns off. in protecting me, its created a whole hell of its own.

i can’t comprehend my own experience of life; how I’m able to function and succeed but feel like I have this internal guard dog that is terrified of reality, of existence, of being present. not being able to travel by plane has completely crippled my life and something I used to love. Exposure therapy allowed to take my life back to drive anywhere. But it’s what made my dpdr worse, exposure wasn’t the right treatment. I can’t even connect with anyone emotionally, like I’m a robot. When i have sex I look at my body like I’m outside it. I have nothing but negative thoughts about my body, my appearance, my inability to live a normal life all day long. Existential thoughts all day long. Endless merry go round. I never had this prior to panic attacks and Dpdr, I feel as if my mind is permanently altered. I went from a free, fun and energetic person to this. And as much as I know all the fears and thoughts aren’t real, my mind believes them 100% and won’t let go. I’m trapped inside a mind that doesn’t want to exist because it’s too scary. And the other half of my mind wants to be normal. I’m stuck

## My background

I'm not the best writer, but I know how terrifying this disorder is. If this helps even one person, it's worth it.

I've recovered from DPDR twice, and both episodes were triggered by weed.

At 19, I smoked occasionally with friends. I noticed I was more of a lightweight than they were. One or two hits got me much higher, for much longer. Some mornings after smoking, I'd wake up feeling like I wasn't real. It usually faded in a day or two, so I blamed it on leftover weed in my system.

Then, while staying at an Airbnb with my cousin, I hit a dab pen. I went to sleep and woke up like normal... except I wasn't. Everything felt fake. It was like being high with none of the good parts. Talking to my parents gave me intense anxiety, and I had to pretend to be normal. Everything I did felt like going through the motions. I did things because I was supposed to, not because they came naturally. I had severe light sensitivity, brain fog, and the rest. If you're here, you already know the symptoms.

That episode lasted 2 years. I almost failed out of university, ruined a lot of potential relationships, and struggled with basic social interaction. After I recovered, I slowly rebuilt my social skills, confidence, and charisma.

Two weeks ago, I smoked again with some friends. It had been years since my last episode. What could go wrong? Well, I gave myself DPDR again. This time it only lasted about a week and a half, and I credit the steps below. Don't get me wrong it was still a terrifying couple of weeks but I felt a lot more well equipped for it.

## 1. Make this the last post you read here

If you're serious about recovering, this step is mandatory. The only other post I want to see from you is your recovery post.

This sub is full of people who've had DPDR for years. That's not because nobody recovers. It's because people who recover usually want to forget the whole experience and never come back. Even writing this is hard for me. Spiraling through this sub will only make your symptoms worse.

## 2. Figure out what's underneath it

There's no black-and-white answer, but here's my personal theory (not medical fact): people process anxiety differently. A lot of people, especially guys in their 20s and people raised where mental health isn't taken seriously, bury their feelings. Bury anxiety long enough and your body can't hold it anymore, so it goes into fight-or-flight. Weed puts you in an altered state, and once your brain learns that state is an option, it seems to cling to it.

Depression can lead to DPDR too. So figure out whether the root is anxiety, depression, or both. Mine was both, so I worked on both.

## 3. Stop fighting the thoughts. Redirect them.

DPDR generally gets better with time. For some people it's a day; for others it's a year or longer. How long you have it matters less than getting better, and stressing about it won't change the outcome. It only makes it worse.

The exercise that helped me most: whenever a DPDR thought comes up, accept it, then immediately **force** your mind onto something positive. Gratitude works well: "The weather is beautiful right now." "The grass feels nice under my feet." Anything except "oh no, I'm derealizing again," because those thoughts feed the negative loop.

This is easier said than done and takes practice, but if you're conscious about it, you can get good at it within a week. For me it was one of the biggest factors in my recovery.

## 4. Diet

I'm not going to repeat the generic advice everyone already knows. What I will say: focus on whole foods that are good for your brain and gut, like salmon, spinach, and sweet potatoes. Prioritize vitamins and omega-3s. Junk food feels comforting in the moment, but long term it works against your recovery.

## 5. Exercise (hard)

I don't think a 20-minute walk is enough here. Push yourself hard to get the real mental benefits of exercise.

If a walk is all you can manage right now because of depression, no problem. I'm still proud of you, and you're doing the best you can. Just work up to harder things over time.

- **Lifting:** Squats, deadlifts, and bench press are great because they're hard to half-ass. Go at least 3 days a week and follow a real program (do some research).

- 3 days/week → full body

- 4 days/week → upper/lower

- 6 days/week → push/pull/legs

- **Sports:** Anything at high intensity works. In my opinion the best are boxing, wrestling, or MMA. They've always been the hardest for me endurance-wise and have helped my mental health the most.

## 6. Meditation

Get Medito (or any meditation app) and meditate morning and night. Start with 2 minutes twice a day and build up to 10 minutes twice a day.

## 7. Daily walks

Walk every day for at least 10–20 minutes, outside if you can. I live somewhere super cold and just suffer through it. It helps a ton. At least 4 days a week, leave the headphones at home and be alone with your thoughts.

## 8. Stay social (this one sucks)

You need to force yourself to keep hanging out with friends and family. I know the thoughts: "Am I staring at them too much?" "What if they notice I'm acting weird?" Tell yourself it's irrational and all in your head. For me, after about 10 minutes of pushing through the initial discomfort, social situations were when I felt the most normal.

When you have DPDR, all you want is to lie in a dark room. Sometimes that's okay. But you have to push your comfort zone to recover.

## 9. Find a hobby you can sink into

Find something (or several things) you can devote all your time and attention to. For me it was building an app and boxing. One stimulated my brain, the other my body. Try new things until something sticks, then put a ton of time and energy into it.

## 10. Travel

This is a massively underrated recovery tool. Take at least a long weekend somewhere warm (if you're younger, work with your parents on this). Go on hikes. Go to the beach and be silly. Forget your stress for a few days. Most of all, say fuck it and realize you can still enjoy life while dealing with DPDR.

## 11. Limit screen time

Doomscrolling or gaming 8 hours a day will hurt your recovery. Replace that time with things like reading or walking.

## 12. Be easy on yourself

A lot of this is hard work. I know because I've done all of it. And there were still days I lay in bed doing nothing, freaking out that I'd be stuck like this forever. Some days are harder than others. Remember that what you're going through is genuinely difficult, so breathe and step back when you need to. Not every day will be forward progress, and that's okay

## Final thoughts

Most importantly, keep living your life. One day you'll wake up and realize DPDR is gone and you didn't even notice it leave.

The key is consistency. Everything in this guide has to work together.

You are not alone, and this is NOT permanent. You WILL get better.

Good luck. Now screenshot this post and get off Reddit. You got this!!

Leute, ich habe den starken Eindruck, dass die meisten hier dazu neigen, anderen zu raten, keinen Arzt aufzusuchen, und dass sich 99 % der Leute selbst diagnostizieren. Man weiß nicht, ob man eine Angststörung, ein Trauma, eine Depersonalisationsstörung (DPDR), Burnout, Migräne oder sogar Epilepsie hat. Man muss diese Erkrankungen ausschließen lassen, und all diese sind behandelbar. Wir leben nicht mehr im 15. Jahrhundert, wo man diese Zustände einfach aushalten muss, bis sie von selbst verschwinden. Schämt euch nicht, zu einem Psychiater zu gehen. Schreibt eine Liste eurer Symptome und gebt sie ihm. Er wird euch nicht für verrückt oder schizophren halten. Wenn ihr eine neurologische Komponente wie Migräne oder Epilepsie in eurer Familiengeschichte habt oder Anfälle, vestibuläre Migräne, komplexe Migräne oder Ähnliches habt, sucht Hilfe bei einem Neurologen. Kein Psychiater wird euch mit DPDR diagnostizieren, wenn ihr kein Kindheitstrauma hattet. Und falls du es hattest, kann auch das behandelt werden, also eine Win-Win-Situation. Bleib einfach nicht zu Hause und warte, bis es sich von selbst löst. Psychiater und Neurologen studieren nicht umsonst jahrelang – vertraue ihnen. Wenn du eine schlechte Reaktion auf die Medikamente hast, geh in die Notaufnahme und probiere ein anderes. Es gibt schließlich nicht nur ein einziges Medikament auf der ganzen Welt. Mir geht es schon 50 % besser, mit vielen Höhen und Tiefen. Hoffentlich gibt es bald eine Erfolgsgeschichte. Bei mir gab es Migräne und Angstzustände. Beides wird behandelt. Auch wenn du es nicht glaubst: Psychotherapie hilft. Dein Körper kann so leicht in den DPDR-Modus wechseln, aber es ist auch möglich, ihn wieder zurückzuschalten. Alles andere sind falsche Informationen und stammen von Leuten, die keine Hilfe suchen und ihre ganze Zeit in Foren verbringen anstatt Hilfe von Experten zu suchen.

One thing ive grown increasingly bothered by as the years go on with this mental disease is how comfortably so many people -usually not the people in this sub but sometimes them too- resign the causes of dpdr to some abstract, incomprehensible, funny thing that just goes away when you give it time and space and when you stop fighting it. Im sorry but thats the most giant wad of horseshit. People have dealt with this for years, decades even, people who no longer can even feel anxiety who are not carrying out any anxious compulsions that reimburse the state because theyre literally neurologically blocked from being able to give a fuck anymore. And even when you care about the idea of it being something that stays because of compulsions you do because of it, why would these intrusive thoughts and compulsions cause grainy vision?? Lower bodily awareness? Severe brain fog? Like these things seem so seriously obviously neurological and theres simply no way its just like “oh thats the branch of ocd that fucks with your literal vision and that totally makes sense and im sure theres nothing else there.” Like UGH. Im so sick of it. And i do believe people who said just not caring to think about it anymore did make theirs go away, im just starting to think it cant be that itself and the real solution must be something that coincides with it.

I don’t even know what to say anymore. It’s been almost two years now until I fell into a dpdr pit due to a bad reaction I had to a medication. I look at old pictures of myself and cry because I can’t feel human anymore. I stopped expecting to be normal again because it probably won’t happen. I always fail my attempts and make things worse, while my whole family denies what took place and revert to trying to live normally again. I just want my life back I want to feel like a human being again

My whole body is completely hollow not in a metaphorical way, I don’t feel any weight, thoughts, not even my breathing. It’s like my whole body mind and being is weightless and doesn’t have any electrical signals and substance inside. I don’t feel food in my mouth my teeth feel like they are completely hollow without anything inside of them. The same goes for every other consciousness aspect. My whole head and body feel like they are made out of air and I never imagined that something like this is possible. It’s like my body is only visible inside my vision but there isn’t anything inside of it happening. It’s so hollow and numb that it’s physically hurting and I can’t even move or sit anymore. Can someone tell me every possible reason why this happens, it’s like progressively getting worse.
I just want to watch TV or not think about it but even my vision is hollow when I look to bright light nothing happens like people can walk thru me and there isn’t anything happen inside of me.
Even tho when it’s cold and I’m shaking I don’t feel it and my muscles and muscle concentration can’t be felt anymore. I can’t even workout because of this. I mean if only my body would be hollow and my mind still felt normal I would kinda cope. But why does everything is this hollow feeling even my mind and my thoughts and my eyes. Like everything…
Is this something medical or DPDR? Even tho my heart is racing I don’t feel it or it doesn’t bother me. I never was like this before? I’m trying to ignore it but it doesn’t work I don’t even feel my back or hands while sitting and being on the PC. And when I take deep breaths k don’t even feel the sensation or air entering my lungs. Even tho when I lay down and want to sleep nothing is felt internally it’s like I’m only seeing the world but I can’t create any sensation in the brain or body anymore. It feels like my sensations of the body and mine fainted to the maximum amount that is possible like I’m alive with 0 sensations of being inside a body.
I’m really scared this is some medical issue or something is seriously wrong
Also extreme loud Bass can’t be felt in my ears anymore I was in the car and they out extremely loud music but it wasn’t reaching my inner brain and ears? It’s like the general conxiousness experienced got fainted completely like zoomed out and now I’m like this.

Did someone had something similar?

Do you experience dpdr anymore? Or are you completely healed?

Especially for people who dealt with chronic dpdr, do you sometimes go into it again?

Another thing I wanted to know is how you recovered. Was it a gradual recovery or was it a moment where you realized it's gone?

Everytime i sit still or stand still and try to relax, I dissociate. My peripheral vision makes limbs look like they're part of the environment and I feel like things are flowing. I get so anxious I start to feel mental pain. It's been 15 months after drug induced psychosis and I still can't feel safe in my body