I still yearn for him, and the worst part is I can't even be properly angry at him. I understand too much. I understand the circumstances, the things neither of us could fix, the love that was there and still wasn't enough. Like, can my brain please shut up and let me be a bitter ex for five fucking minutes? Apparently not. I have to be emotionally literate about the very thing that's breaking my heart. How embarrassing.

I wake up missing him. I just miss being held by him, tightly, warmly, like for a little while the world had nowhere else to be. God, I'd give anything to feel that again. And it's ridiculous because I can explain exactly why we ended, but I still can't explain to my body why it can't go back to the place it felt safe.

I'm not waiting for him to come back, but damn honestly I want him beg for ours... gosh impossible. I'm just still here, loving someone I can't really blame, with all this tenderness and nowhere to put it. And apparently healing means waking up every morning and remembering all over again that the person you want to tell about your day is the same person you don't talk to anymore.

Anyway, good morning to me, I guess. Another day of being a functioning adult with a full-time job and a part-time position as a ghost's girlfriend in my own head.

My Heartbreak Story:-

what makes this even more bittersweet is that:-

I technically experienced both sides of that quote in the same month. October, I'll hate you until I move on!

1. The sudden surprise and Heartbreak:-

I had a crush on this person for so long like 3 Years passed by! I wanted to talk to them and all but i couldn't cuz I had already embarrassed myself quite a bit multiple times.

The first time was the most embarrassing one and that's also when I got Scolded by them too 😭! Technically we were playing and I tried talking to them, went there and told them why don't you play! They didn't say anything so I pushed them a little(not that hard) and the person got a little angry and said let me first see how you do that and I don't remember it very Vividly but i apologized and slowly moved away! That was hella embarassing 🫠!!

Then I hardly ever talked with them cuz it was kind of just an attendance thing and that person hardly came during exams. And the final year of high school passed and one more year after that.

I tried to find their contact like crazy, i searched their name on social media but couldn't find anything! Suddenly Instagram drops a bomb on me! Their Id in my suggestion. Great B!tch! Wow!! I was flabbergasted.

Here's the thing when I started searching for them i already decided that maybe they won't even like me or want me in their life so I kind of made this plan that I'll let the request sit for seven days and if they don't accept it by then, I'll just withdraw the request and that's what happened! I pulled back the request today on 27 Oct 2026 at 8:30 pm Sharp!

And I'm here after the heartbreak cuz now it's all just me moving on with my one sided love that will eventually fade away!

Ummm, the thing is we hardly had any convos, now someone will ask how did you fall for them then??

Actually I never fell for the person I knew in real life, I fell for the version of them that I created in my Head! Ooh poem ✨, it came out naturally 😭! I created those little scenarios of our relationship and how it'll be 🫣. And now the lonely nights will feel empty without me imagining my love story. When I pulled back the request, the strongest feeling was coming from the Heart, it felt hollow but heavy!!

But that's just how life works, I don't blame that person or anyone for my heartbreak, I simply think that I can't force my feelings on someone. Guysss, if you fall for someone, fall for the person not the potential🍀!

I'm sad, disappointed, feeling devastated with a straight face at home but i also feel a bit of relief that I won't have to check that pending request approval again cuz every time I checked i only got upset. That person would accept new followers and remove some but won't even look at my request🥹. A little tear just rolled down my eyes, Hoooo, it's hard!!!

2. Just a friend who removed me from their life.

A very close friend of mine suddenly unfriended me and left me Hanging that's the second part and that's all about it!

And now I'm having beef with a literal Month 😭!

My life literally said:- Here's a reunion that never happened, a goodbye that wasn't even close to a goodbye, and an emotional character-development arc. Happy October! 💀🍁🍂... And I'm still here as life goes on!

Today has been one of the worst days of my life. At about 4pm, my wife walked into the Kitchen, where I had just unpacked the shopping, and handed me a cigarette, telling me the news she was going to give me would upset me.

She's done this before usually when a bill goes out or benefits have been troublesome, but this time she told me that she was going to end our near 20 year marriage.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. When she tried to talk, telling me she wanted this to be ‘acrimonious,’ I walked our, got in the car, and started driving. I didn't even know where I was going, I just needed to get away.

Eventually I stopped by Sefton Park and called my mum. She was stunned. I started crying, wondering what it was that I had done that was so wrong.

Since around 2020, I've been my wife's full time carer. She originally bowed out of work with Mental Health issues, then developed ME/CFS, which robbed her of energy and required her to use a wheelchair.

I have had to take on the responsibilities for cooking, cleaning, maintenance and looking after her needs. According to her, I've not been doing it well enough.

I tried my best. I would clean the house as best I knew how, but it wasn't good enough.

If I showed any form of frustration or irritation, I wad accused of being abusive in my emotional response. If I dared to disagree, I was accused of gaslighting.

She once asked me to go to counselling, and I disagreed that we needed it, and felt we could work through our issues together.

When I got back from driving aimlessly around Liverpool for an hour, she told me that

She felt I was emotionally bad for her

That she didn't see any future where we were aligned

That her care needs were not being met.

And that the state of the house wasn't good enough.

I asked if we could try counselling now. She said no.

I tried my best.

I really did.

We were still in contact till 2 days before his marriage. We were in an inter-caste relationship and there was immense pressure from his family to get married to the girl of their choice.

We tried our best to work things out but the situation was just not in our favour. He kept on telling me how much he loved me. Even though I knew a little bit about what was going on behind the scenes , I couldnt accept it. I was in denial. I thought that somehow things would work out in our favour. I thought he would fight for me and wait for me a bit longer. He said he couldn't.

I loved that man with all my heart. I lost all my self respect trying to save the relationship with him. I kept hoping and praying that things would work out.

What made it worse was that we had so many break-ups and patch-ups in the past that I thought this was just another phase that was going to pass.

Then he got married yesterday. Even hearing his name gives me a panic attack.

In hindsight, he was definitely not a good man for me. But Im still not able to forget him. Im tired of the constant palpitations.

I feel like there's a heavy weight constantly on my chest. It feels like I might never feel okay again.

We lived together, and now I’m back at my parents house, living in a garage surrounded by all my belongings. I can’t afford a place as nice as the one we had, and he gets to stay there, even though almost everything in that house was mine so he has NOTHING in there. I miss my home so much. I feel so out of place here, and I feel like I’ve lost everything I worked for.

I miss him more than I can explain. He was my boyfriend, my best friend, and the person I spent most of my time with. Now I feel completely alone again. We even work together, so I can’t just get away from everything and heal. My family hates him now, and I feel like I have nobody to talk to about how much I still care about him.

The hardest part is that he isn’t all bad. I know he has good qualities, and I know he has his own pain, but his anger has hurt me so much. When he gets angry, he yells, calls me names, hits things, and sometimes even hits himself. I wish so badly that his anger would just go away. I wish he could understand how much it hurts me because I really do care about him.

The crazy thing is, I don’t even know if I was in love with him yet, but losing him hurts so much that it feels like physical pain. I miss lying in bed next to him and looking over at him, just being happy that I was there with him. I miss the little things, our home, our routines, and having someone to come home to.

Our breakup started over him unintentionally hurting my feelings. I got upset and pushed him away. I apologized over text because I didn’t want him to see me that vulnerable. He wanted to talk about it, but I was hurt and scared. I know that probably hurt him, and I keep thinking about how differently I could have handled things. I wish I had been softer with him that night. I wish I had just gone up to him and hugged him. Part of me feels like maybe everything would have been okay if I had.

But then he got angry, called me names, yelled, and started hitting the walls and himself. I ended up calling my mom, and now everything has fallen apart. I keep asking myself why I called her, why I couldn't just handle things differently, and whether I could have prevented all of this.

I know I can't always be the one hurting. I know my feelings matter, too. But I also know he was hurting, and I wish I had been able to see that in the moment without losing myself in my own pain.

Now I’m sitting here in a garage with all my belongings, missing the home we shared and the person I used to turn to for comfort. I feel like I lost my boyfriend, my best friend, my home, and the life I was building all at once. I text him because I miss him, even though I know things can't just go back to how they were.

I wish I could go back in time. I wish the anger wasn't there. I wish we could have just held each other and worked through things instead of ending up here. I wish loving each other had been enough to make things work.

I don't even know what I'm looking for by writing this. Maybe I just needed to get it out somewhere because I'm hurting so much, and I don't know what to do with all these feelings. I miss him. I miss my home. I miss the life I had, and I don't know how to move forward when a part of me is still wishing I could go back.

September 13, 1969
From a woman’s journal.

Perhaps, in this life, we were simply never meant to be together.

I have made my peace with that, or at least, I am learning to. And I should like to think myself a woman capable of accepting what was never meant for her.

But what I cannot reconcile myself to is your silence.

You never once had the courage to sit before me, look me in the eyes, and tell me that you no longer loved me. That your heart had turned elsewhere. That you wished to share your life with another woman. You left me to make sense of your absence whilst you carried on as though my heart were of no consequence.

Perhaps you had known for some time that I was not the woman you wished to marry. Perhaps you kept me beside you because the thought of being alone frightened you more than the thought of hurting me.

You wanted the comfort of my affection, the warmth of my devotion, and all the tenderness I so willingly gave you, but none of the responsibility that ought to have accompanied it.

You wished to be loved without having to love me in return.

And I, foolishly, mistook your wanting me near for a promise that you would stay.

You took from me what you needed, and left me to bear the cost of it.

Perhaps you are happy now. Perhaps you have the life you always wanted, with a woman who gives you all that you believe you deserve. I do hope you have found your happiness, for I cannot imagine wishing another person a lifetime of sorrow.

But I cannot help wondering whether mine had to be the price of it.

Was it truly so difficult to be honest with me? Did I deserve so little consideration that you could not even grant me the dignity of the truth?

I never asked you for grand declarations or a love that would conquer the world. I asked only for kindness, respect, and honesty. Such little things, or so I once believed. Yet you could not offer me even those.

And perhaps that is what pains me most. Not that you chose another life, nor even that you chose another woman, but that you could be so careless with a heart that had been so careful with yours.

I have spent far too long wondering what I might have done differently, what I might have given more of, what part of myself I ought to have changed to make you stay.

But I am beginning to understand that one cannot draw water from an empty well, nor ask a barren field to bear fruit.

How, then, could you have given me the kindness you did not possess, the honesty you would not practise, or the respect you never thought to offer?

I suppose you could not give what was never yours to give.

— From Maybe This

​Hey everyone. I went through a breakup 2 months ago afrer being together for four years, that left me completely heartbroken.

​When I was trying to figure out how to move forward, I realized I wasn't ready for a deting dating app, but I also didn't want to try and heal completely alone. I just wanted a way to connect with other people who felt the way I did or atleast understood.

​Because that didn't really exist the way I wanted it to, I went ahead and created HeartSearch.

​It's an app built specifically for people who aren't ready for a dating app, but who still want to connect with somone...somone who is also going through heartbreak. Anyways breakups are so painful and it took my 2 months and building this app to finally start to feel like myself again. . https://www.heartsearchapp.com/ if anyone's wants to join the waitlist for when it opens here is the link. If you are feeling lost or heartbroken just hang in there.

I’m F22 and my bf is 21M we’ve been together for 4 years and it’s seemed like the entire time he doesn’t appreciate anything I do. We recently broke up and a few months later started talking and hanging out again. We aren’t back together but three days ago we were looking at apartments together and he said any girls he had on his snap he’d get rid of because I was feeling insecure. The next day he tells me he takes me for granted and he’s sorry and how much he loves me and then yesterday morning he invited me over after work and a few hours later says he can’t be with me anymore. He snaps a bunch of random girls and texts the girl he had sex with when we broke up. He admits it and I know it. I know I deserve better but I know he’s capable of being better. I feel like an idiot for staying but for some reason I can’t force myself out of it. I do everything for him. I cook I clean I buy him things just because. I sit in his room while he plays games or goes out with his friends. I can’t remember the last time he came to my house. I can’t remember the last time he did anything for me without being asked. I’m so drained but I love him so much and I’m so happy when we are together. Why am I not enough for him? Why are all the countless hours I spend doing things for him, not because I’m asked, but because I want to, not enough for him? I don’t understand.

We knew each other since we were kids, we were glued together through middle school, high-school, and university. We were even engaged at one point. We had never dated anyone but each other. We got our first jobs together, lived for the first time apart from our parents together, learned how to drive together. And yet, he gained feelings for another woman who wasnt even interested in him and threw it all away. Telling me he wasnt ready to be married, he wanted ti have fun and have freedom and be independent. So we broke up and I nearly ended up my life (one of my parents had also died months before)

Then a year later we reconnect because of an emergency that happened and slowly we became friends again, best friends despite everything. We had our own lives apart yet still remained healthy contact. Then we started going out and one thing lead to another and we were friends with benefits. It was thrilling, things weren't perfect but he was there with me and it was enough. Another life emergency happens another year later and I ended up renting him a room after he lost his previous apartment and from FWB we also became roommates.

Then he started to act the way he used to, picking fights, getting defensive. I begged him to please seek mental health like I did because I could tell the emotional toll was stressing him out but he refused.

I gave him space? He got mad.

I got close? He got mad

I checked in on him? He wasnt satified

I didnt check in on him? Still wasnt satified

I tried being extra nice, I tried being passive, i tried being blunt, i tried being supportive, hell, i even tried being a total bitch and somehow, thats when he treated me the best. When I was treating him like dirt.

You know whats worse? Despite all of this I still had hope, I had hope that even when things were bad we could overcome it. I thought to myself that if there was anyone's bullshit I had to tolerate, it would be his. Even if we became an old bickering couple. I still loved him enough to stay by his side. And yet the moment I reached a breaking point and said i was done playing this game?

He sobbed

He told me i was the most important person in the world

He cant imagine a life without me

He was just too scared of hurting me again

He told me he was sorry for being such a bad person

He offered to take me on a romantic stroll through the beach, offered to take me the restaurant I liked but to please not leave him alone tonight because he needed someone, a friend or anything

And I asked him

"If I say yes, does that mean you had hope things could eventually be mended? Im not asking you to be in a relationship with me, im not asking for a guaranteed future, hell, im not asking you to prioritize me over everything else. But do you love me enough to have hope to atleast try to heal together? Even if were never 100% even if we still go our separate ways, but do you have any hope left in you that there is still something to save between us? I cant keep going, and waiting, and praying without a clear answer. Do you love me enough to try and Hope? If you do, then yes. Ill go with you, if you dont. Then go alone."

He kept going back and forth, he was panicking, he was on the ground, he didnt know how to answer and I slowly just became numb and I just asked him again

"Do you love me enough to try and prove all of those things you said to me?"

And after a minute of silence, he wiped his tears, shook his head, and left.

I feel like im going through the same breakup again.

I feel like a kid

I want my parents so bad

But one of them leaves several countries away and the other one is rotting in the ground.

God, why does it still hurt?

Why does this hurt more?

Why am I hurting more now then I did before!?

14 years of life 14 years of love 14 years of growing 14 years of commitment 14 years of me waiting 14 fucking years of adoring him.

And he still never loved me enough to stay

It’s easier. I can’t lie.

And still I MISS YOU!

I hate seeing new places and having new experiences and searching for you. The world — my world — has grown smaller and dim.

I avoid doing anything or visiting anywhere we’ve been to together - unlike you. Or so it seems.

I loved our travel adventures and now I wonder if I made up everything up. Could that be true? Ugh!!

Adios.

I love you.

my bf broke up with me yesterday and said it was for mental health reasons. i know his mental health has been awful as of lately and he said he needed to focus on himself, which i completely understand. he said that was the only reason he was breaking up with me, but when i asked if we could just go on a break until he got better, he told me no. he said that after he gets better he might consider trying things again and said he still wanted to be friends with me (i told him i couldn't handle being friends right now and he respected that) but i have a feeling he's not coming back. when i asked if we could try again later he said he didn't know at the current moment. it just sucks so bad because before all of this, things were perfect. i was talking to his friend today bc i didn't end up going to school, and he told me that my ex bf was acting completely normal today and that made me feel 10x worse. it sucks knowing that the thing i've been crying about all day didn't seem to bother him one bit. his friend also said that he looked pretty upset before breaking up with me and seemed better now so fml. the worst thing is, i brought this up with my ex weeks ago bc i noticed him acting weird, but he said everything was fine between us so it hurts knowing he lied. i know i should just move on, but i genuinely don't know how and its killing me. i keep checking my phone even though i know i'm not gonna see any texts or messages from him. i constantly feel nauseous and i'd do anything to stop feeling miserable. obv the break up is still pretty fresh, but i'm scared i'm not gonna get over it. i just need advice.

Ever since junior year highschool, a bit under three years now, I dated this girl who, while we were in highschool together, treated me so well. I mean making sure all my needs are met, writing me letters on my birthday, when she was proud of me, when she knew I could do better, making sure I knew I was loved and cared for. I also treated her as good as I could, trying my best to make sure she has support in her life and that she knew she was loved and cared for. I made sure she felt like she was beautiful and that she got some of the stuff she wanted so she could be happy, and hell I even did my part until the very end. Truth be told though I don't have much good to say anymore... I used to be able to write paragraphs of good things but this is all I can muster up about what our relationship was now.

I'm a year older so I graduated before her obviously. Things changed her senior year. She grew distant, gained a lot, and I mean a LOT of friends who were also pretty sketchy, and she became avoidant, neglectful even. All of the sweet stuff she used to do stopped. I questioned it all. She said I'm overthinking, that our relationship was fine. I believed her because I didn't want to imagine that sweet girl doing the worst thing to me. I isolated, I lost my hobbies, I lost my job, I hated everything and I got so severely depressed because the only thing I had was this girl who taught me that love looks like neglect, manipulation, gaslighting, etc.

Eventually rumors got to me. Word of sketchy things happening. She got dodgy. Her coworkers gave me pitiful looks any time I came to surprise her at work and I never knew why. Hell, one of her former bosses said in front of me "Hey, who's the guy of the week this time?" after she pissed him off. I let myself think it was a joke. But the signs kept coming. Family and friends constantly warned me about stuff. People who I hardly knew were telling loved ones stuff I could never possibly believe. Blocking me on socials, never video calling me anymore, not giving me any affection, always having excuses that were believable enough to make me back off, that's just the stuff I saw firsthand, but the stuff others told me? Whenever I found something out, anything, she would either get extremely affectionate or threat breaking up with me.

Hot tub intimacy with a childhood friend, going to prom with her "gay" friend, "joking" about being in a relationship with a whole different person. Her coworkers which we both knew from highschool told my personal friends that she said we were not dating, but I always heard that she was always telling them only the best stuff about me. I brought all of these up and as I said, there was always an excuse believable enough to make me back off, and I did. But what sealed the deal?

There were inconsistencies in her stories. Here's the best example. She used to live with a cousin at an early point in her life and she said she recently reconnected with that cousin. He lived far away and she started to visit him often. The issue? That cousin from that point in her life was a woman, not a man. She had this "cousin" guy over for a week in town and told me not to interact with her because her "family" is "protective". Once I saw her again there were multiple hickeys all over her. The excuse? Her best friend was drunk and gave them all to her but she tried her best to fight off her drunk friend. Yeah right. Even in a "best case scenario" for her, she wouldn't even have one hickey. And even if it was her friend, the line was still crossed. I sent her a text after I left her workplace, just her name. The response? "Yes, hun?" Mind you that she hasn't been affectionate with me in months at this point.

I loved this girl and I went to such great lengths to make sure she was cared for, and for about year and a half she did the same for me until she reached senior year of highschool. This past month I had my lowest low and it pushed me so hard down that I had no choice but to work on myself. Therapy, reconnecting with friends I lost contact with due to self isolation, indulging in lost hobbies... Breaking up with this girl was not a tragic thing that happened in a period of self-improvement, it was a byproduct of my self-improvement as I regained the self respect and self worth that she deliberately murdered within me.

The worst part of all of this? She doesn't even know what she did wrong. She genuinely might be in emotional distress from me leaving and that offends me. It's an insult to the torment I was conditioned into being okay with. I wrote her a letter which blamed myself for everything that she has done to me and I wholeheartedly believed that everything within that letter and everything you read here was my fault. We even had genuinely beautiful moments within this past year that I will probably never forget, but it was few and far between. It was enough for me to stay hopeful, enough to show me that somewhere in there, that girl still loved me and that she still cared, at least a little.

As of now I am doing alright. I have a strong support system despite the fact I haven't talked to many of them in so long. I hold confidence that I did the right thing as there is no way no matter how the narrative is spun that I could ever be better off still in that relationship. I'm actually happy being alone now, especially since the past year I have effectively been entirely alone anyways. I can even tolerate myself now. I can tolerate the people around me. I had my cry about the relationship today, but I also followed that up with a short-notice therapy session, which helped a lot. I'll continue to rebuild my sense of self worth and self respect for a while before I go back into anything because I need to be able to stand up for myself.

Anyways folks, thanks for reading. Take care and have a good night.

The following text has been translated into English using AI. However, the original German version was written entirely without AI:

Hey fellow Redditor,

Welcome to the millionth heartbreak post on this platform. I completely understand if you scroll past, as I know how repetitive these can feel. But maybe you're willing to give me a chance and read what I have to say. I am genuinely desperate and looking for help (though I'm sure every author of these posts claims the exact same thing). This might get a bit long, but I'll do my best to keep it concise so I don't waste your time. Here is a quick summary of the situation:

- I (30M) was in a relationship with a woman (28F) for a little over two years.

- I’ll spare you the details of how "amazing and unique" our connection was, since almost everyone says that about their past relationships. But in my experience, it was exceptionally intense, and I loved her with all my heart.

- I have a medical condition that worsened over the course of the relationship and eventually required surgery, leaving me with a stoma. The procedure knocked me out of commission for a long time. I lost most of my athletic fitness and spiraled into depression. I lost my drive, wasn't myself anymore, failed to seek help, and eventually just gave up on myself.

At first, my girlfriend tried to encourage me, but over time she began to pull away (which I can't blame her for).

- She ended the relationship a little over a year ago.

The breakup pulled the rug out from under my feet, but since then, I’ve worked on myself and tried everything in my power to get back up:

- I went through psychotherapy, and after a few weeks, my therapist considered me recovered.

- I made a career shift (I don't make a ton of money, but I'm much happier with my work life; I work two jobs, one of which I truly enjoy).

- I threw myself back into my athletic passion. I'm now running over 100 km (~60 miles) a week and am actually in better shape than I was before the surgery.

- I have a solid relationship with my family and a broad social circle of great people who genuinely care about me.

- I've been on a few dates, and there are women who are interested in me.

- I've traveled and met new people.

- I’ve read countless articles, books, and personal accounts about heartbreak to find coping mechanisms.

- I didn't demean myself by chasing after her; I respected her decision. The breakup was clean and respectful. She didn't make things unnecessarily hard on me, and there was no bad blood from either side. We haven't had any contact since (aside from a happy birthday message for my 30th).

I have put so much effort into rebuilding a quality life, but nothing seems to help. Despite everything looking fairly good on paper, my reality feels entirely different:

- I still think about her multiple times a day.

- Whenever I see someone who looks like her, or when I'm anywhere near her apartment (which is unavoidable since we live in the same city), my heart races and I feel sick to my stomach.

- I am overwhelmed by deep sadness on a regular basis, and the pain hasn't faded at all after a year. It just isn't getting better, and several times a day I'm hit with a crushing, suffocating grief.

- I can't bear this pain much longer, and I don't know what else to do. I’ve been through rough patches in my life before, but this past year has been the darkest period I have ever experienced. I simply cannot go on living with this kind of constant ache.

- I don't want to give up, and I don't want things to end this way, which is why I'm desperately reaching out for help. Every single day feels like an uphill battle, and I constantly feel like I blew my one shot at genuine happiness.

Please, if you have any advice or perspective on what I can do to make it hurt less (just enough so I can bear it), let me know. I don't expect to be magically healed overnight, but I need something to hold onto so I don't have to suffer like this every day. Any input would mean a lot to me.

It’s been around five months since my ex and I broke up, and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever hurt this much over someone.

He was my first real relationship. I was 26 when we got together, and I’m almost 30 now. I’ve never experienced heartbreak like this. He was the person I wanted to have a house and a family with. He was the person I pictured my life with, and now I’m supposed to start all over again.

And honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready to start over again, I dont know if I can, the thought of another person, just feels wrong to me, especially when the person I wanted to build that life with is the one person I can’t have anymore. It takes two people, and that’s something I have no control over i know.

I still feel like, at the core, our breakup happened because of a misunderstanding over something we could have worked through. At the time, it didn’t feel that simple because there were so many emotions involved, poor communication, and other things going on between us.
I want to respect the breakup, keep my distant but at the same time I still want to fight for it, even though I wont, because I want to respect him.

However had I known then what I know now, I would have handled my part of the relationship and the breakup very differently. Whether that would ultimately have changed anything, I’ll never know, and I think that uncertainty is one of the hardest things to live with.

I’m in this strange place where I genuinely want the best for him. I want him to be happy and successful, even if that happiness is eventually with someone else. But at the same time, the thought of him building the life I imagined for us with another woman makes me feel sick.

Logically I’m trying to accept that our chapter is over, but emotionally, it still doesn’t feel finished. It feels more like there should have been a continuation. Like we stopped in the middle of the chapter and have taken a break from reading.

I’m trying to live my life. I really am. But whenever something happens, good or bad, he is still the first person I think about telling.

I can’t tell him that I’m travelling to another country by myself for the first time to celebrate my 30th birthday.

I can’t tell him that I just went to Rome with my family.

I can’t tell him that I just got the keys to my new apartment, or about my new job, or all these other things happening in my life that I feel like I should be excited about.

Those things are happening, and I know they are good things. But there’s this person who used to be the person I shared everything with, and now I have to experience all of it without him.

Even little things remind me of him. I can’t bring myself to play the multiplayer games I love because I played them with him. Making new recipes doesn’t feel quite the same because I can’t share them with him. I’m already dreading Christmas and New Year’s because they won’t be spent with him.

I’m also still sad that I couldn’t wish him a happy birthday last month or give him the gift I had picked out for him, I never got to buy for him.

And I’m sad that all the messages I sent and all the conversations I tried to have with him during and after the breakup weren’t enough for him to want to try again, even if it could have been at some point in the future.

I know I need to keep living my life, and I am trying. But there are days when everything feels heavier because the person I expected to share my life with is no longer part of it.

I could probably write so much more, but otherwise this is just going to turn into a novel.

So I guess all I can really say is:

I’m just really, really sad.

long story
I’m struggling a lot with my breakup and could really use some advice from people who have been through something similar.
My ex and I were together for 7 years in a long-distance relationship. He lives in the US, and I’m from Italy. He was not just my boyfriend, but also my best friend. He knew everything about me, and he was the one person I could tell absolutely anything to. Losing him has felt like losing a part of my life and the person who knew me best.
Towards the end of our relationship, things started changing. We used to talk a lot, especially on weekends, but gradually he started calling me less. I felt like I was no longer a priority in his life. I was always the one planning our trips, making sacrifices, and trying to keep the relationship alive.
One Christmas and New Year’s, I travelled to New York to spend 10 days with him. He didn’t take any time off work to be with me, so I spent most of those days alone. I had sacrificed my own income to make that trip happen, and I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t make a similar effort.
We eventually broke up in October 2024. I was the one who made the final decision because I felt like I was fighting for us while he wasn’t fighting alongside me. We had a brief breakup earlier that year, but we got back together after three days because we missed each other. Things improved for a while, but eventually, we fell into the same pattern again.
Before our final breakup, he suggested taking a break. Things became confusing because he started treating me well again, and I didn’t know where I stood. Eventually, I felt I had to end things myself.
After the breakup, we went no contact for a year. When we spoke again in November 2025, he told me that in a relationship he had started just five months after our breakup, he realised he was looking for me in another person and that it was difficult to find someone like me. That stayed with me. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me, but he didn’t want to make do any more sacrifices, especially because I love travelling and exploring the world. He also told me that he had seen in my videos that I had my sparkle back, and he was happy for me.
I told him that if he worked on himself and went to therapy, maybe one day we could try again. But he needed to take time to focus on himself because he has a pattern of jumping from one relationship to another. (When we started dating, he had been single for only a month.)
However, after just a month and a half of therapy, he started dating again in March 2026. He started lying to me, and I only found out in April. His new girlfriend messaged me saying that I couldn’t be friends with him because of our history. However, we had become just friends, and she had seen all our conversations. There was NOTHING suspicious in them.
She made him delete all our photos from social media, and she wanted me to do the same. When I told her no, she said we should move on and stop being friends. I felt like she was blackmailing me, as if I couldn’t remain friends with him unless I deleted the photos.
I believe they are now living together. I know he may genuinely love her, but I can’t help wondering whether he has found someone who gives him the same love, kindness, and attention I did, without him having to make all the difficult decisions and sacrifices that being with me would have required.
I know I can’t read his mind, and I realise this might just be my way of trying to make sense of everything.
What hurts is that he seems able to move on and open his heart to someone else, while I still struggle to even imagine doing the same. I haven’t been able to open my heart to another man. I miss him, but I also miss having my best friend and the person I shared everything with.
Maybe I miss his friendship more than anything else?
Another thing I struggle with is that our relationship ended over a video call. We never had a proper, in-person goodbye. Part of me feels like our story never had a real ending, and I sometimes think about flying to the US to see him one last time.
I imagine that meeting him face to face might help me find closure. But I have to be honest: a small part of me thinks that maybe our love could flourish again.
At the same time, I keep thinking that even if he still loved me, he might not have the courage to fight for our relationship and make the changes needed to build a future together.
So I have a few questions:
Has anyone met their ex in person after a long-distance breakup and genuinely found closure? Did it help, or did it make things harder?
Is it a bad idea to meet an ex when you know part of you still hopes they might come back?
How do you accept that someone who once told you they were looking for you in other people has now built a life with someone else?
How do you move forward when you haven’t stopped loving someone, but you know you couldn’t keep living the way you were in that relationship?
I’m not looking for reassurance that he’ll come back. I genuinely want to know how to move forward because I feel stuck between missing the person I loved and knowing that I deserved more effort than I was receiving.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and share their experience.

TL;DR: My fiancé (44M) and I (36F) have been together for three years and are madly in love. I accidentally discovered a file listing 64 women he was with between 2000 and 2020. Given that I spent 13 years with one partner before him, I'm worried our different histories might mean different views on commitment. Should I discuss this with him before marriage or leave it alone?

My fiancé and I have been together for three years, and we have a wonderful relationship. We are madly in love and have built a life together that I genuinely want to last forever.

Before we started dating, I always told him I didn't want to know how many women he'd been with because I knew it wasn't something I wanted to dwell on. However, I recently stumbled across a computer file that listed his sexual partners from 2000 to 2020. The total was 64, and he stopped updating the file in 2020. We began dating in 2023.

For context, I was married for 11 years and was with my former partner altogether13 years. Most of my adult life was spent with one partner. My fiancé and I have very different relationship histories, and seeing that number has brought up some insecurities I wasn't expecting.

I'm not judging him for his past, and I recognize that he was single for much of that time. What worries me is the pattern of moving from one woman to the next. I've been badly hurt before, and I sometimes worry that eventually I won't be enough for him or that he'll want something different.

I know that the number of partners someone has had doesn't automatically determine whether they're capable of commitment. At the same time, we're planning to get married, and I want to make sure we're entering marriage with a clear understanding of each other's expectations, values, and needs.

I also recognize that I specifically told him I didn't want to know his number, so I'm unsure whether bringing this up now would accomplish anything or simply create unnecessary tension.

My questions:

1. Should I have a conversation with him about this before we get married, or honor my original decision not to know?

2. Is his history something worth exploring in terms of commitment and relationship patterns, or am I overthinking it?

3. How do I distinguish a legitimate concern about compatibility from insecurity caused by my experiences?

4. If I do talk to him, what questions should I ask to understand his views on lifelong commitment without getting caught up in the details of his sexual history?

I love this man and want to give our marriage the best possible foundation. I'm not looking for reasons to doubt him; I just want to feel confident that we're on the same page before making a lifelong commitment.

Would you have this conversation before marriage, or would you leave it alone?

Please keep responses respectful. I'm asking from a sincere position as someone newly in the ace/demi community. TIA

My ex (23F) broke up with me (25 M) 3 weeks ago and I thought I was doing better until today. I was on vacation all of last week with my family so that took away a lot of my thoughts from her but now that I returned home it’s relapsed to being as awful as the first week. it’s clear that I have to keep myself busy but you can only do that so long. everything I do can’t help but think about her. When they say a breakup is a rollercoaster ride they weren’t kidding. Some days are better than the rest but today has just been horrible and there was nothing I could do to get her off my mind. It’s just still devastating and shocking to me how well I thought our relationship was going and then one day she woke up and decided to end things breaking my heart into pieces. She constantly texted me throughout the day and told me how much she loved me (which she even said during the breakup) but yet still decided to give up on our relationship so easy without communicating any of her concerns or griefs with me. It completely sucks because I would have fixed anything she wanted me to but she didn’t even give me a chance. Idk how i will love again. Does anybody feel the same?

Hey everyone, I need a place to vent and get some outside perspective on a situation that has completely turned my life upside down over the last few months. It is a very long post so I apologize in advance.

Here are the people involved.

Me (29 M)

A (21 TF) My best friend

L (24 TM) A's partner and my crush

I need to point out that A and L are polyamorous. Also, so L can stay in this country A and L got married in March of this year as well, but they maintained their poly arrangement.

​To give context, I was part of a close group dynamic with two people: A, who was my absolute best friend, and L, who is A’s partner. I met A at work and we developed a strong friendship pretty quickly.

Basically because she didn't have a place to live for the next month from when we met I offered one of the spare rooms in the apartment where I was living so she can move in temporarily while she looked for a place (this was literally in our first conversation) and she accepted. (I know it could have gone pretty bad for both of us because we didn't know each other at all but im glad it turned out fine) From that point onwards we got close pretty quickly and eventually she moved out like 3 monthts after she moved in, somewhere in August of last year. In December of last year, L who was the long distance relationship of A, moved to the city and they started living together. Because A and me were so close, I was also there the day that L arrived at the city and I met him there.

Moving on to July of this year, my landlord decided to end the contract for internet.(Because of my contract, I couldn't just go and get another provider without the approval from my landlord which he never gave me when I asked)

I needed internet to work and play videogames. So I started going to A and L's place almost daily. Over time, I developed strong romantic feelings for L. It grew naturally because whenever I went over, we spent hours talking. The conversations and jokes moved seamlessly and I felt like we were bonding pretty quickly. If I'm honest it kinda felt like I already knew him from all my life because we always had stuff to talk about and we both got enthusiastic for listening to the other person talk about our interests and future hopes.

Before anything started I had a talk with A telling her that I like L but if she is not comfortable with that or has any objections I will stop it immediately and it will never be spoken again. She assured me that she was actually happy about thst and that I had her full support and that it would be amazing because the three of us will spend a lot more time together.

Then, with A's help, I did in fact tell L that I liked him and wanted to take him out on a date to see where things head out, this was around mid August, At this time he had a medical condition with his wisdom tooth that hurt a lot and constantly so he basically said that he would rather have that fixed before he would give me an answer, it was not a yes nor a no, it was a rain check for later. But from that point on I did start treating him like someone I liked by bringing him gifts and spending even more time talking with him and trying to learn about him so I knew the things he liked. I will admit that from this point on and while our connection grew stronger every day I started acting like I had the yes on the date already guaranteed and it was just a matter of time before we go out.

Time moved on with that renewed dynamic for a while and to be honest things seemed to be going somewhat fine. I had a couple of issues with this dynamic because it was new to me and also because I have some traumas from my past but we agreed that we will always keep a proper communication between the 3 of us so any and all issues we have will be solved promptly before they grew larger.

Then it came the third week of september. The dentist L went to was really bad and even though he was in pain they wanted to do the extraction until November. On the same day, L and I had an argument for something else as well. So in my mind I came to 3 conclusions that day

1) I cared enough about L to want him to not be in pain any longer

2) I wanted to apologize for the argument that we had and

3) I didn't want to wait until November for an answer.

So I checked with all my contacts and found a dentist a hundred times better than the previous one, and as a surprise I scheduled an appointment with him for the next day for L. I didn't tell L about the plan to schedule it because I surprised him with that in that same afternoon. In long story short there, they checked him out, on the next day, and realized the problem and scheduled an extraction for the next week. So that day was only the check up and nothing more.

After the appointment, A went to work and I stayed with L all the afternoon and part of the night. Lets say from 14:00 until 22:00. It was amazing, we talked a lot, we watched videos, we ordered pizza. The conversation never stalled. To be honest it was amazing. And when I left I even sent him a text saying that it was an amazing afternoon and 8 hours felt like 5 minutes and he agreed that it was amazing hanging out with me and that time flew by us pretty quickly.

After that going into the weekend I felt the shift in energy pretty quickly because neither A or L texted me or invited me to hang out with them over the weekend at their house like they usually do and when I texted I got a 1 or 2 words answer back from them, if they answered at all. So i decided on Monday I would take the same route to work as A and try to talk to her.

Things completely exploded after that conversation with A. Out of nowhere, A made an implication that my presence or actions could somehow pose a physical threat or danger to L. This hit me immensely hard—not only because it was completely untrue and uncharacteristic of who I am (and she knew it by the way in which we met), but because it directly triggered deep past trauma I carry regarding what has happened to me and how I am perceived and treated by people I care about.

​The fallout was swift and devastating:

​L completely blocked me on everything following that conversation, cutting off communication without giving me a real chance to talk through things directly with him or even explain exactly where I went wrong or argue with me (like he did before) to show me where i was going wrong and work from there.

​A and my friendship became deeply strained which deeply hurts me given how close we were.

​Eventually, A and I had a very long meeting to try to address the fractures and see if our friendship could be salvaged. She admitted that she didn't realize that she actually implied that I would ever be a danger to L and that she truly believes that I am not that kind of person and that she was sorry for even unknowingly suggesting that I could be any danger to L in any context at all.

From what I could gather from conversations with A apparently some of my mistakes are

1) Surprising L with the dentist appointment: They felt it crossed a boundary and was a betrayal of trust, even though they acknowledged it ultimately helped L get care that he desperately needed. L felt like I was doing that just to try to hurry up his decision (which I will admit it was in part that) instead of me coming from a place of deep care for his wellbeing (which was mostly that)

2) Staying 8 hours that afternoon: Apparently L wanted me to leave earlier but never expressed it to me—directly or indirectly. Had he said anything, I would have respected his boundaries immediately and left. (It would have hurt but I would have left anyway)

3) Offering to accompany them to his extraction procedure: I offered to join A in supporting L during his procedure because I cared about him, but it was seen as overstepping.

4) A was angry that because I hanged out with L all that afternoon she could not talk with him and blamed me for it.

​The situation has left me in a really dark and painful place. I’ve had to grieve the abrupt loss of L from my life while simultaneously dealing with the deep rupture in my friendship with A. Even when trying to repair things with A, the ghost of what happened with L and the unfair way I was characterized hangs over everything. I constantly struggle with a desire for closure, lingering feelings for L, and the painful realization that the deep trust we all shared might be gone forever.

​I’m trying my best to set healthy boundaries, protect my own peace, and process this grief, but some days it feels overwhelming.

How do I manage a strained friendship with my best friend when the ghost of this fallout is still so fresh?

Is it healthier to step back entirely, or are there ways to navigate this distance while processing the loss of L?

How can I process the pain of being abruptly cut off by someone I cared about while protecting my own mental health?

Any advice on letting go of the need for an explanation when communication is completely closed off?

Is it healthy of me to still keep a hope alive that I can get back?

I know I made some very massive mistakes but I have never felt so heartbroken before for any past relationships. Not sure how to move on.

TL;DR: I (M) was in a polyamorous dynamic with my best friend, "A" (TF), and her partner/husband, "L" (TM). With A's blessing, I confessed romantic feelings for L, and we had an open, cautious setup while L dealt with a painful medical condition. I tried to help L by surprising him with a dentist appointment and spending 8 hours hanging out, but it backfired. A suddenly implied I could pose a danger to L—triggering my past trauma—and L completely blocked me without communication. A, later apologized for the phrasing, but my feelings for L, the abrupt loss of contact, and the ruined trust have left me devastated.

My ex has said some variant of “if you just told me this in this way, we wouldn’t have broken up” multiple times (I broke up with her) but for some reason all I wanna do is fix it.

This made me feel like the fall out as my fault, for poor communication. Which is, based on circumstances, partially true. But I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the idea that my ex would be as understanding as she is at this moment while the emotions were high had I used the exact words I did today. I doubt it would have landed.

Should I really believe this?