I live in New Jersey, usa.

I'm 20 years old.

I moved out of my toxic & (probably abusive but don't want to think about it right now) parents' house suddenly out of necessity.

My bio dad / parents are cutting me off pretty much.

I happily don't have to pay food/rent/utilities because I live with extended family.

My bio dad is kicking me off health insurance at the end of the year, even though it is supposed to cover me til I turn 26. he just refuses to keep me on the plan

I have health issues. a lot of them

and he KNOWS it. he just denies it and has accused me of committing health fraud and lying to doctors.

he has constantly downplayed EVERYTHING for me & my siblings.

one of my siblings broke a bone and didn't go to the doctor until a teacher at school stepped in.

I had to BEG to go to the eye doctor.

my first dentist trip was at 10.

and none of this was due to $$$, we could absolutely afford it

but my bio dad was allowed all the medical care he needed.

I developed severe food allergies as an adult.

now I work full time.

a few days ago I had to leave work in an ambulance because of severe chest pain and terrifying cardiac symptoms.

now I have no idea how im gonna pay for that or any of my doctors.

im making 16.05/hour in a profession i went school for.

im burnt out and exhausted and this is a hugely physical job.

I need support and kind words.

and I apparently make just enough to not qualify for state health insurance.

my job has insurance I can enroll for next month but idk how good it is.

I hate money.

im sick and cant afford it.

I’ve had rib discomfort in my left side for 3-4 years. It’s had all sorts of transformations. There was a point a few months back the pain was sharp when I’d breathe too deep, now it’s kind of a discomfort that’s spread as it feels weird to lay on my front rib and hip as well. There’s a bit of discomfort as well when I press down the area under where the ribs meet and a bit on the left side. I have some kind of hypersensitivity in my torso face and back now because after I scratch my skin it kind of leaves a weird lingering feeling after. Doctors I saw said my back was tight was forcing my ribs to take all the pressure.

Now I have weight loss (I really don’t eat a lot in the first place and was already skinny but I feel like I haven’t changed my diet habits). I also get swollen itchy spots around my body sometimes which I saw an allergist and they did a skin scratch test. Basically my whole LEFT SIDE where I’m concerned about was coming out positive with hives. If that weren’t bad enough I had spotting for the first time and a heavier period which during these points I felt some pressure in my left ovary. Oh and did I mention my lymph nodes seem a bit swollen? CBC testing all came out normal but my sedimentation rate value was a bit high, which concerns me as well. An xray of my torso was ordered which came out normal everywhere except my doctor said there was seemingly a lot of air or something in my colon. That prompted him to do a ct scan which im waiting to get done soon. I’m just worried, I can’t imagine what else it could possibly be besides you know what. Not only that, this has been an issue for YEARS which seemingly could have spread and who knows how much if so.

What do I do? I know nothing can change whatever happens, and of course I’m hoping for the best but I fear it might not look good for me. I know my post is written quite dramatically but I’m okay right now, I just want to be prepared for anything because I don’t know if I will be later. I’m mostly afraid of having to tell others if it ends up being something bad. How do I cope with any scary information?

I am confused about what to pursue in life, why to pursue and if the hassle is worth it.

If all the hard work is worth it.

Can't we just chill out.

Is it important to be ambitious?

..... And many more

These people who I haven't spoken to since may have called me 3 times leaving immature voice mails. On Monday they called me twice. I'm quite fed up with it and idk if its the type of thing I can report to their school. Will the school take this type of thing seriously? For context they used to mock me while we were friends and I don't have evidence for it but i know factually that they use my pictures to mock me privately now.

I don’t want this to be a dark post, and this may just end up as a vent no one reads, but I feel a short background is needed. I had somewhat of a rough childhood as I grew up in a very conservative Christian and sports based middle and high school as the only fat guy not in football and the only gay kid at all as I was outed. It was not uncommon for me to go months without having a social interaction outside of my mother just for the first one to be a preacher sitting me down telling me to be chaste or go to hell or random guys just calling me a slur. As a devout Christian my mental health declined pretty fast as I stopped doing school work, had unhealthy coping mechanisms, and ultimately didn’t care about my future as I didn’t expect to live long enough to have one. 

Recently when speaking with my roommates, they all talked about how they had friend groups back home and at school, how they hang out with friends almost weekly, how they are always doing something like studying or being a part of extracurricular groups etc etc. I know some of it could have been exaggerated, but I realized that, even now when I am twenty one and trying to better myself, I’m still the same as I was. I still don’t have any in person friends, any funny stories, interesting facts or cool experiences to tell people, I’ve never gone to a party, hangout, study group, anything. It hit me hard and made me realize how far behind I am compared to everyone else at my age. They’ve all been living lives, having experiences, improving themselves and running towards their dreams. I feel like I’m starting a journey that people have been on for the past decade. 

It’s not even just socially either. Today during a required class to teach freshmen about opportunities at my school (I’m a junior transfer student so I had to take it anyways) where student representatives came to promote their clubs and societies I realized I missed out academically and professionally too. All of these leadership opportunities require so long to become members or join and I only have three semesters left. This whole class so far has been just telling us how college has so many opportunities and how you’ll never get this time back and I just feel like I’m so behind in everything. 

So what do I do? I’ll be ending my schooling with little to nothing outside of a degree at this rate. What’re the main things I can do to get my life back on track in general.

I’m a young person, looking for some older people’s perspective. I’m 24 and started my first professional job (PT).I put a lot of pressure on myself to live up to and exceed past my managers expectations and not be seen as a “24 year old”. And I’ve made some mistakes with tardiness 2-3 times. Which, since I’ve gotten hired at the start of August, I’ve tried to correct and prove I won’t do it again by trying to always be early (not sure how many times my manager has been there to see it). But I’m extra anxious about a mistake a made today:

I made the mistake of not following procedure the first day I was on a shift by myself after training. I do outreach and I was supposed to call and say I’ve arrived at the location when I got there which I forgot. My manager sent me a teams message which was kind of formal saying “you need to be in the office and call at the specified times”. I called early for the next 3 weeks following. But today an unexpected work-related event occurred when I got to work and I forgot to call right away as I was busy mitigating the problem. My manager is on vacation so now I have to wait a week for her response to my message taking accountability and stating my plan to not forget in the future. I don’t know how she will react.

Whenever I do something I always double check, triple check, and if I didn't get satisfied with the checks IT WILL TAKE UP TO MAYBE 10 CHECKS. And I would be really careful on checking it until I'm done after like 15 checks LIKE this also always happens when I ask something to my mom. I always ask her repeatedly about questions until I'm satisfied with the consistency if not I'll ask again. To the point where my mom says "I've been repeating my answer to your repeated questions for the past 11 whole minutes." Even my head starts having a migraine cuz I JUST CAN'T STOP IT. And when I'm writing I always check first if there's extra space so I undo the past 3 types of my writing for like 6 undo times and back LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME ITS AS IF IM WORRIED IF I CAN'T GET THINGS RIGHT?! I also lock and unlock my door for like idk maybe almost 20 times whenever its time for bed bruhhh. I even have this weird obsession with covering myself with sanitizing alcohol everytime I go to bed cuz I have this feeling of wanting to be clean before going to bed and I panic when I ran out of alcohol. 😭 I always buy 2 bottles of it just in case. Idk if this makes sense but I hope it does cuz it's really HARD to explain it clearly. 😭

She (35) is religious and i (19f) am not. Im very undecided on any of that stuff. She was thrilled for me to be a bridesmaid but invited me out to breakfast to "talk about the wedding". I couldnt make it to breakfast this morning so we talked this evening and she seemed anxious and sad. Saying she doesnt know how to say it so shes just going to say it but doesnt want it to hurt me or for me to think shes judging me. Basically, the religious elders which are like pastors, said that if she wants to get married in their hall, her chosen bridesmaids must be living according to gods standards and would therefore, in their words, be "inappropriate". Dumb as fuck. Not my sister. Just the rules.

I understand a no smoking wedding.

I understand not wanting me to smell of smoke at the wedding.

But to not have me be my sisters bridesmaid who really wanted me to be, just because of a private personal life style habit that has nothing to do with anyone else has annoyed me. It sounds so weird to me now too. She was saying "i dont want to jeapardize my relationship with god". As if me being a bridesmaid would deeply disgust him

I'm in a position where I really need to focus on exam I'm preparing for next year. Ive tried quitting gaming but somehow I relapse. It's not that I don't study , I can get in 6 hours and for a while when I quit 8 but I can tell it's not my best , this is so anxiety inducing when I'm aware my competition is putting in 10 hours minimum . I haven't hit a burn out like some of my friends describe going through, it feels like I'm not doing enough. Any advice. The thing I'm preparing for is in next 4-5 months . An embarassing post to make for someone in their 20s

I've had a couple of compulsions I could think of growing up, but none of them affected my life or anything and were negligible. But this ones been nagging me for almost a year and its really frustrating.

It's kind of stupid, but in middle school, there was this one teacher who would always give us these "pep talks" at the beginning of the day that were really corny and were stuff like "don't give up" and "hard work beats natural talent" etc. etc. I also just generally resented my teachers, especially my homeroom/math teacher, who used to speak in this really annoying voice at the top of her lungs, and yell and scream and shout even when she wasn't angry, and I'm naturally sensitive to noise and it really bothered me. Now up to this point I didn't think I had anything against the teacher that gave us prep talks (he was also the reading teacher) but I began hating him because of my hate for my school and also because he turned out to be really arrogant and entitled. I also want to mention I began to love reading at this point in time, and while I read, stuff we talked about in class kept coming up in my brain. I wanted to forget about class and school and my reading teacher, but the more I tried to ignore him the more those thoughts kept coming into my head. What ended up happening was he was now living rent free in my head, all his shitty prep talks, all the classes I had with him, all of them popped up whenever I did something, and I felt like my life somehow was getting better because of his prep talks or because of his lessons. Whenever I wanted to get good at writing, for example, my brain would play for me: "hard work beats natural talent every single time!!! Remember what the rise guru said??" and when I tried to get rid of the thought my body kept acting against my will and begin to feel motivated. It kept getting worse until my brain took the most trivial things he said out of context and to heart, and to the point that I felt like I had no free will anymore. Everything I did, said, thought, etc. was all because of him. "Man, I should say sorry to my mom for getting angry with her." Brain--> "Remember when he said 'be nice to your parents?'" "Alright, time to practice piano." Brain--> "Remember what he said about hard work?" And then I would purposefully practice an inadequate amount because I didn't want him to be the cause of my doing well. This also became the same for every person I didn't like. My brain always made it seem that the people I didn't like were controlling my every action.

So a couple of weeks ago I went to a behavioral health clinic and completed intake for therapy and a psychiatric evaluation. My first official therapy appointment will be in a few days, but my psychiatric evaluation won't be until the 24th of November. Since I'm in a bit of a vulnerable position both physically and mentally, I don't know if I can wait that long. Even though I am aware now that these appointments are usually booked weeks to even months in advance and I just so happened to get lucky with one of the shorter wait times. However, over a month is still too long of a wait for me.

I just got off the phone with 988 and the operator told me that I can go to the ER to get a psychiatric screening on the spot as well as medication and other things that can help me with my vulnerable position. I'm posting this because I feel like I need some sort of second opinion on whether or not I should go as well as, I guess, how to execute this plan. If I go there, what do I even say? How do I get myself admitted? What questions do I ask to get the stuff I need (psychiatric evaluation, medication, case worker)? Am I just overthinking this entire thing? I'm not sure. I just don't want to mess this up and put myself in a bad situation, so I figured I'd consult the internet for what I need to do.

Im not sure why- well maybe I am. I make / made a lot of terrible mistakes- but now a days I don’t do anything- and I mean NOTHING other than college class work and laying in bed. Seems I don’t make a good impression on the majority of ppl I try to meet (at least that’s my impression). I mean what do I even do? Kinda feel like I’m a burden

Life has gone downhill since I lost my mother. Car was repoed, lost multiple jobs, about to lose the house and br homeless, no real friends except one who let me borrow his truck which is now probably broken to the point of not worth repairing which happened in my possession which makes me feel even worse about it. I'm not going to get much money for the house being how it's going to be sold I know everything sounds like an excuse but usually a step forward equals 5-10 backwards. I don't have good credit so I can't finance a new car. Don't currently have enough for a good down payment. Put yourself in my situation and what is the first steps you'd take knowing youre about to be homeless without even a truck to sleep in. Can't even get to Walmart for food for my cst and my depression is going places it never has before. Honestly I don't know if I even wanna be alive anymore...

My parents and me were in a car and we were having a bad argument. like shouting and swearing (but no physical abuse of any party nor any parent had ever had problems with physical abuse). So I got angry too and out of anger at a red light i got out of the car, seeing which my mom got out of the car too and i tried to push my mom into the car. Note: I had no intention of doing anything wrong. I just got out of the car cos i had too much and would prolly sit down and get a cab and come back home later. Now at the red light a police vehicle saw this and pulled us aside for questioning since they were thinking it could be a case of kidnapping or something so they pulled our car aside. My parents were still fightling and pointing fingers at another and the police asked us to step out of the car and questioned me and my mom and dad and the problem is my dad has anger problems so i was worried about that. He was shouting at the police (not hurling abuses. just shouting using normal words) and police were bit firm with my dad seeing which i got angry and said to the officer "if you hurt my parents ill turn your face into a bloody pulp" and had instant regret and i was taken to the police station and so were my parents. They questioned my parents but didnt bring any charge and for me they fined me. Cos after saying that threat i immidiately apologised and never made a threat and i cooperated with the officers and told them everything.

At the end no one got hurt and it was a close call. Thing is i wanna support my family and i dont want anyone to fight. So in these situations what would you say an appropiate way would be to handle it? considering both the party has anger problems without physical violence?

What do I really want in Life? What do I really want to pursue that I can put wholeheartedly regardless the stress it gives me?

In my whole life, I always pursued to be the best or achieve greatness in academics. I achieved lots of things, I was able to publish a paper and attend a conference in Indonesia, achieved honours or high honours across my academic career, consistent high test scores compared to the average person, the admiration of various people and looking up to me, my parents, siblings, and relatives are proud of me and see greatness in me, join a national competition of science, pass and go to a prestigious university in the country, and earn awards such as first to publish a paper in my school and two time best research with my group. With all of that, most people will be happy, heck I am happy as well and proud of myself, but everyday as I walk home or lie on my bed, I think to myself, who am I or what do I really want? I always thought of that, I always studied to be the best, but I don’t know what I studied for in my life. I always thought that achieving something is good in itself and as long as I study I’ll figure something out. I always think that I am the smart or academically good kid, but I don’t know what I am beyond that. Don’t get me wrong, my parents never forced me to this type of person, I chose it myself as I dream to have a life I can be proud of and happy with, also able to help my family as well as my mom and dad are OFWs and had sacrificed so much for me and my siblings. Furthermore, they are very kind and understanding, they care for what I think and what I want to do in life, like not the typical Asian Parent. They always say that you don’t need to be the best, we are happy that you are happy and safe, and that you are able to pursue your dreams. With that, my parents and siblings are my safe place and I want to work hard for them. With my abilities and mindset, I picked to be a engineer as I was somewhat smart and I want the large salary for my family, so as young as 10 or 11, I want to be a engineer or scientist as I said. If people always ask what do you want to be, I always answer that because I am smart and I want to help my family.

However as I get older, I have some stray thoughts of do I really want this? Yes I am smart, but am I more than that? I don’t find academics fun same as the next person, I view it as a means to an end, but sometimes I do find joy in it. Other than that, I have some hobbies such as cooking, toy collecting, model building, video games, cultural study, and wildlife study. But these are temporary stops and I continue to study if it is done. Now in the beginning of college, I finally have some freedom for myself and yeah I enjoyed my early stay, but with freedom for myself, those stray thoughts began to be more prevalent in my mind and heart. Now my doubts are going to the surface, thoughts that I ignored as little concern that I don’t need to pay heed began to become actual concerns to me. To add more, the pressure of being in a very prestigious university, facing loneliness of a new life or chapter, having responsibilities that is new to me, academic burnout, feeling of unfulfillment, and doubt in my program. I began to think that I moved forward in life too much, I never looked back or walked backward to see or think in what I actually want. I always used my abilities or capabilities to determine what I choose rather than what I really want. Now in my degree program, I have a lot of doubts because I realised that, do I want to commit 4 impactful years of my life to study academic subjects that I don’t want to study after seeing the curriculum? Do I want to follow through a path that I myself have immense doubt on even though I have the ability to? I always thought of it and it eventually led to my breakdown during midterms. I let it all out to my mother and siblings, I am not sure of myself anymore because other than academics, I don’t know what I really want to pursue because I don’t know where my real passion is or what do I see in myself? I feel worse for myself everyday because I always think of myself as empty or a blank canvas. I don’t really want to compare myself to my siblings, but I can’t help but compare because I see them in my whole life that they followed what they truly want in life and it is very clear to them and they followed through.

With that realization, I felt worse for myself and I wish that the weight to be cleared out and give me clarity. After that breakdown, everyday I feel like a train wreck, I struggle to get up from bed and I can’t sleep due to sudden anxiety or panic that I need to wash my face to feel coolheaded or call my mom or siblings. Even though I let all my feelings all out, yes I feel lighter or calmer, the next day all that panic and anxiety will comeback. Even if I did my hobbies, I can’t help but still feel like there is some weight. I am sick of it, I’m sick of this feeling because to me, I hate the feeling of helplessness or self loathing, I hate it because no matter what I do, it still comes back. Now I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to continue, heck I don’t know where to continue because to me, I don’t know myself that much because I never the time of day to think that through. I always thought that being great at something can pave the way, but slowly I realized, that it’s not the way because what is the point of greatness, if you yourself don’t feel satisfied or happy about it, it only gives pain than actual happiness, if I lose in a academic competition I feel the worse or have doubts, but If I made a model or cooked something bad, I don’t feel bad, I feel like I could improve it with something better or change it a bit. But I still have a dream to have a good and comfortable life, help my family, and have a life that I could be proud of. Now I am considering a LOA (Leave of Absence) because I think that I studied too much that I never considered time for myself. Back then, I was proud that I didn’t miss a class because I was a “model student” even if my mom suggested to go out and skip class, I’d say next time because I want to finish this. But now I wish that I did that small moments. However, I am also scared to have an LOA because I am scared that I become a burden, bum, or freeloader. I don’t want to become a person like that. I still want to study but I don’t know what I want, do I want to have a different degree, uni, or path. I am not sure on which, I still want to be in this university but I don’t know what is best for me or what I want?

My mom is in her 50’s (my brother and I are both adults) and since I can remember she doesn’t know how to let go of anything. Almost everyday she has to randomly bring up about how she thinks what someone is doing or even what they did years ago was wrong. Depending on her mood that talk can go from 5 minutes to 20 minutes and it’s usually just the same thing being repeated over and over again. Lately it has been about my brother because she feels that he cares more about his friends than her. So almost everyday I have to listen to her go on rants about how awful my brother is and how he should be more grateful for her and willing to do more for her because she always took care of him while he was sick. I can only take so much of it and sometimes I’ll try to shut it down gently or I’ll snap a little (I’ll tell her ok I know you’ve said this a lot I know) but unless I’m quietly hearing her gripe and nodding or pretending to be “shocked by his behavior” then she will get mad and say “No one here wants me to talk about anything! You all think I’m just a b*tch and not your mother!”

When grade 12 started, I wasn’t able to function because of mental illness and headaches. I got dismissed on medical leave, and I felt so shattered and angry. I had wanted to become a teacher, and in my rage in a Facebook group for our graduating grade, I said something along the lines of: “yo my guidance counselor said that if I maintained my grade 11 marks in grade 12 I could definitely become a teacher. I know I’d make a better teacher than ms. Dick sucking (name) or (name).”

I was otherwise always a nice guy before that impulsive incident.

I felt really guilty after and let people bully me, hate on me, and push me around after. Got into a bad crowd that bullied me and almost got me killed. Only after nearly getting killed (about two years after the facebook post I made, and during those two years I allowed people to bully, hate, and push me around, both in-person and on social media) did I realize I was better off not being around bad and negative people like those people.

For the past 6 months, I have been nonstop thinking about the traumatic incident where I nearly got killed and all the bad memories and my regrets from that time period. Mostly nonstop thinking about the traumatic incident with negative intrusive thoughts of same. I have OCD, anxiety and ADHD.

Thank you for hearing me out and for any support/advice you can give.

So I've been having symptoms of insulin related issues (drinking a ton of water but still being thirsty, frequent urination due to the unsolvable thirst, being shaky and dizzy when I'm hungry, and falling asleep around 30 minutes after eating, along with a family history of diabetes)

So I'm currently experiencing symptoms of sleep apnea (this is related I swear), and apparently insulin resistance tends to come hand in hand with sleep apnea, and both sleep apnea and diabetes runs in my family, so I did research, and apparently it's not normal to consistently get really shaky and dizzy when I'm hungry, sometimes my vision will blur and I think I need a new glasses prescription, and then it'll be fine later on, and just last night I drank 4 cups of water (a liter of water) in 20 minutes and my mouth was still really dry, and the same thing is happening today, and it's happened before, just not this constant, and this could be because of my (suspected, not diagnosed yet but very likely) sleep apnea, but every time I eat, especially if it's heavy in carbs, I will fall asleep 30 minutes later, and because of my constant thirst I've been drinking a lot of water which has caused a lot of urination as well, and Google had said that these are symptoms of type 2 diabetes, insulin resistance, or prediabetes, thing is, I know Google isn't very reliable, but when I mentioned it my friends also seemed concerned, but I don't know, I'm scared to self diagnose or anything, I just don't know whether it's worth mentioning to my mom, I already have other medical issues we need appointments for (orthopedic, appointment to get referred to a somnologist, then the somnologist when we get referred, and orthodontist), I don't want to come to my mom with another issue if it ends up being nothing, I don't know, apparently this isn't normal but idk if it's worth telling my mom about, just this morning I mentioned when I was going to see a doctor for the sleep issues and she got mad at me. (It's been over a month with no information, I hadn't asked until now) So I'm scared to bring up another issue.

Update: so I don't have time to tell my mom, I'm going to go to my school nurse, she's been helpful before and I looked it up, and school nurses can do something for suspected diabetes, and can also call my mom for me.

Update 2: the nurse wasn't able to do much, but did call my mom about it so that took the pressure off, she never explicitly said to get it checked out, kept phrasing it as me and my mom's decision, but it seemed clear she wanted me to, which helped me not feel crazy, my mom hasn't mentioned it yet

Update 3: my mom wants to wait a week, while checking my levels at the worst possible time frames. Let's hope I don't end up in the ER <3

I really need some advice because I've been overthinking my future for almost two weeks now, and I don't know how to deal with these feelings anymore.

It's been almost 6 months since I resigned from my previous job, and I'm still looking for work. I've been applying online and sometimes in person, but I still haven't found anything.

I feel so guilty towards my parents because they're the ones supporting me while I look for a job. Whenever I apply in person, they still have to give me money for transportation and other expenses. They also pay the bills at home, including the wifi I use for my online applications.

Most of my days are spent in front of my laptop, searching and applying for jobs. I keep checking my phone and email, hoping someone will contact me for an interview or tell me that I'm finally hired. But day after day, nothing happens.

Lately, I've been having trouble sleeping. Even in my dreams, I can feel the pressure of finding a job. I know my parents won't just abandon me, and I'm grateful that they're still supporting me, but I don't want to keep living like this.

I feel useless sometimes, like I'm not doing anything productive with my life while everyone around me seems to be busy working and earning money. Meanwhile, I'm just at home, waiting and hoping for a chance.

I know I shouldn't measure my worth by whether I have a job or not, but it's really hard not to feel this way when months have passed and nothing seems to be working out.

For those who have gone through something similar, how did you deal with this feeling? How did you keep yourself motivated and stop worrying so much about the future while you were unemployed?

I just want to feel a little lighter and remind myself that things can still get better. I don't want to lose hope in myself.

By that i mean that I cry really easily. And I hate it. I was "normal" when I was on meds (duloxetine and vivanse for anxiety, depression, and ADHD). Now I've been off for a couple months and have been taking supplements to help ADHD symptoms. They've actually helped a lot and I can function semi-normally. HOWEVER. everything makes me emotional. Any sad story, every time i think about my grandma, videos of cute animals, etc. Its embarrassing and I dont know how to keep living like this. I listen to songs I love and just start sobbing.

And obviously I've thought about it just being depression, and i do feel depressed sometimes, but im generally pretty happy and optimistic about my life. But regardless of how I feel or what time of the month it is, I just be crying.

Maybe I need to talk to a doctor but has anyone else felt like this? Is there some exercise or way to control tears? Or am I doomed to just be a weepy person for the rest of my life...

Hi everyone, I need some advice and support. I just arrived yesterday (Saturday) in a small town in Ireland for a volunteering project working with people with disabilities.

It has only been one day, but my mental health is completely down. I am struggling severely with the language barrier, I can't communicate properly, and I feel completely isolated. I am having intense anxiety attacks and I just want to go home to Italy.

Tomorrow (Monday) is my first actual day of work. I have decided that this experience is not for me and I want to return to Italy on Wednesday. However, I am terrified of telling the coordinator in person tomorrow because of the language barrier and the guilt of leaving so soon.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How can I handle the conversation with the coordinator tomorrow without freezing up?

Thank you so much, I am feeling very overwhelmed right now.

I am a big overthinker, always has been. But recently its really been screwing up my sanity. I am constantly thinking about how my future will look like, and what it should be like.
For example: i am recently been going out drinking in the weekends with this friend group and they are all really fond of me and i really like them also. But then all of a sudden i get these thoughts of uncertainy.

\- ''do they REALLY like me, or do i just think they do''
\- ''but what if i never get the be a part of the group'' and
\- ''what if im a part of the group but how will it unfold when we all have jobs and kids, will the group fall apart, and if so, did spend enough time with them''.

these are the kind of thoughs that make me very anxious. and its not just about the friend group. but also of my personal life
\- ''when i have a job and kids, will i even have time for my friends and hobbys''
\- ''what if i stay behind and everybody lives their best life and i dont''

im currently debating if i should seek profesional help or not. i think i need to tbh.

i think i need people in my life to tell me that i should live in the present instead of trying to bend the future to my will, and just live day to day. i know i should, but i almost never have control over my thoughts.

if you have some advice to give me please do, it helps a lot.

Hello,

This is not requiring ER, not first episode.

I am experiencing confusion, feeling like my thoughts are dizzy, limbs jelly but jerky when moving.

For ease:

-trouble organizing thoughts & speech

-blurry vision near

-stuck with head/shoulders in a "ducking' brace

-peripheral distortion or flash of black and my brain is certain its a snake, roach, killer or whatever

-i dont feel like I am in my head and body like living normally feels

-trouble walking straight

-regular movement like walking or moving my arm feels like im doing it wrong and I dont remember the rhythm

Anyway this seems to occur after someone close to me triggers some of my deepest hurts. Which is exactly what happend prior to this change

I am unable to articulate this post better as I am feeling very confused. I just want to know im not alone and im not losing reality.

So I live on the ground floor with my brother. He was out of town for some time, and I had someone come over to my place. In a hurry i forgot to fully close the window to my bedroom. My landlords live opposite my place. And their house is around 20 feet away from the said bedroom window. I'm very scared they might have heard me as they were standing outside their house. what if they evict us from the house seeing that they are homophobic like everyone else in India.

I'm freaking out. What would I say to my parents and brother. What if he says this to the real estate agent and he talks to my parents. Only my brother knows I'm gay.

I know nothing has happened yet. But is there any such thing that a landlord can evict someone even if they have signed a contract?? Can they make a fake case against me which may lead to eviction??

So I’m renting and the landlord has like, 3 separate bills in their name, which has always been a struggle to pay since we can’t log into any website to pay it so we always had a hard time to pay it. But the other day my landlord sent us a photo of a bill for 1,000 dollars that we never knew about because they’ve been having it shipped to their home address and not the apartment! They haven’t shown us the bill the whole time we’ve lived here, So idk what to do because I didn’t know about this bill at all because it’s never gotten mailed to us. It just feels off because it’s also saying the service date for the bill was even before we moved in, so idk what we are even supposed to do here.