r/Indian_Academia • u/mildlyconfused05 • 5h ago
Career 20F, confused about my education after leaving BSc, being an engineering dropout, taking a gap year and now doing psychology. What should I do?
Hi everyone. I'm a 20-year-old student from India, and I'm honestly very confused about my education and career. I'm posting my complete academic history because I need practical advice from people who understand the Indian education system, college dropouts, gap years, online degrees and pursuing postgraduate education abroad.
I would really appreciate honest opinions, even if they're harsh. I don't want to keep making decisions that cost me time, money and opportunities.
- My academic background
I completed my Class 12 with 54% in the science stream (PCM). My academic performance wasn't particularly good, and I've struggled with studying consistently for several years.
After Class 12, I wasn't completely sure what I wanted to do. I was interested in different things but didn't have a clear career plan. Looking back, I feel that I made some decisions without properly understanding what the degrees involved or whether they suited me.
- My B.Sc. Physics situation
After HSC, I enrolled in FY B.Sc. Physics. I completed the first year and received the relevant NEP UG certificate, but I didn't continue with physics as a full degree.
I eventually realised that I wasn't particularly interested in pursuing physics academically or building a career that involved extensive mathematics and physics. However, this meant that I spent a year on a course that I ultimately didn't continue.
- Engineering: the biggest financial and academic mistake I've made
After that, I joined first-year aerospace engineering. My decision was influenced by the fact that engineering seemed like a practical degree with career opportunities. However, I didn't properly consider whether I actually wanted to study engineering or whether I was suited to the curriculum.
I paid approximately ₹4 lakh in fees for the first year. The amount was non-refundable, which made the situation even more difficult.
I struggled with the course and realised that I wasn't interested in core Mechanical Engineering or Electronics-related fields. I also wasn't comfortable with the amount of mathematics and technical subjects involved.
I eventually stopped attending regularly and dropped out in practice after sem 1. I also had academic difficulties, including backlogs and missed examinations.
In retrospect, I should have researched the course much more carefully before taking admission. I know that engineering is not inherently a bad choice, but it wasn't the right choice for me.
The money spent, the year lost and the fact that I still didn't have a clear career direction made the situation worse.
- The gap year and my struggles with studying
My academic journey hasn't been straightforward. Between changing courses, leaving engineering and figuring out what I wanted to do, I ended up with gaps and disruptions in my education.
I've also struggled with concentration, motivation, anxiety and depression. I've found it difficult to maintain a consistent study routine, and getting back into academics after a period of struggling has been challenging.
I'm not saying these difficulties excuse every decision I've made. I know that I need to take responsibility for my education. However, they are part of the reason my academic history looks the way it does.
My concern is that I'm falling behind people my age. I see others progressing through their degrees while I'm still trying to establish a direction.
I don't want to rush into another course merely because I feel behind, but I also cannot afford to keep changing degrees indefinitely.
- Why I moved towards Psychology
Eventually, I became interested in Psychology. Compared with Physics and Engineering, it felt more aligned with my interests.
I explored BA Psychology and B.Sc. Psychology programmes and considered colleges in Mumbai, but got diagnosed with a mental health condition and had to take meds (still taking), so I had to take a gap year.I already struggle with depression and anxiety and am on medications for them as well.
I was particularly interested in the possibility of pursuing psychology at the undergraduate level and eventually completing a master's degree abroad.
I am going to turn 21 this year and am now studying in FYBA with Psychology as my major in Mumbai at a mid college
However, even after changing to Psychology, I have struggled academically. I still find it difficult to study consistently, memorise material and prepare for examinations. I am about to get ATKTs in all of my 7 subjects. I am worried that simply changing subjects will not solve the underlying problem.
The thing I find most confusing is that I can actually focus in class. I am able to pay attention to whatever the teacher is saying, follow the explanations and understand the material being taught. I don't feel that I have a problem understanding the concepts when they are explained to me. My main problem is that I cannot memorise answers and reproduce them properly in examinations because of my gap years. Even when I understand a topic, I struggle to remember the points and write satisfactory answers in the exam.
Because of this, I keep failing my exams, and it is making me lose interest in studying altogether. I have reached a point where I avoid studying because I already expect that I will fail anyway. I know this is becoming a vicious cycle: I don't study because I expect to fail, and then not studying makes it even more likely that I will fail. I don't want to continue like this, but I genuinely don't know how to get out of it.
Has anyone experienced something similar? What am I supposed to do when I can understand everything in class but cannot memorise answers for exams? Is this a problem with my study methods, memory, mental health or something else? How do I break this cycle and start passing my exams? I would really appreciate practical advice on what I should do next.
I want to know whether Psychology is a sensible choice for someone with my academic history and difficulties, or whether I am underestimating the amount of reading, memorisation, examinations and postgraduate education the field requires.
I understand that Psychology is not an easy escape from academics. I am trying to figure out whether I can realistically commit to it for the long term.
- My main concerns
These are the questions I am struggling with:
- Continuing Psychology: Given my HSC score of 54%, my previous academic difficulties and my current struggles with studying, is completing a BA in Psychology a sensible decision?
- What would you do in my position? Would you focus entirely on the Psychology degree, add an online qualification, pursue practical skills and internships, or consider a different path altogether?
A little context about my situation
I come from a middle-class family, and the engineering fees were a significant financial loss. I don't want to make another expensive mistake. I also don't want to keep switching courses every year because I am uncertain about my future.
At the same time, I don't want to choose a career solely because it is easy to enter. I want something that can lead to stable employment and allow me to become financially independent.
I am aware that I need to improve my discipline and consistency. I am not expecting a degree to solve those problems for me. I am trying to make a decision that I can realistically follow through on.
If anyone has experienced an engineering dropout, a gap in education, a change from science to Psychology, or a similar situation, I would especially appreciate hearing about your experience.
Please be honest about what is realistic and what is not. I would prefer specific advice, relevant experience and concrete steps over generic reassurance.
myquals: FY BA sem 1 student
Thank you for reading this long post.