I am expecting a baby, and among all the challenges I could think of, screens worry me the most.

I was born and raised in the 90s, we had one tv and one pc at home. My parents, siblings and I had to share screens. During my childhood, I read a lot, I drew, I wrote, I played in the yard, I created new games and explored new hobbies when I felt bored. I watched cartoons and educational tv material for around 2 hours/day, and I played some video games with my siblings during weekends. I could say that I had good times and created various memories with myself as a kid.

Yet things changed when I became a teenager. I abandoned many of my hobbies when we got an internet connection at home, as this new toy was much more flashy. Though I still shared our only pc with my siblings, so my screen time was thankfully limited. I got my first Nokia phone when I got into college, and my first smartphone after I graduated. And since getting my smartphone, I've been struggling with an addiction that has been normalized.. I struggle with keeping my phone away. I now take it one day at a time, my notifications are all off, I limit my social media time as possible, especially noticing how it effects my mood, attention, self esteem, and much more. I succeed and fail, but I keep trying, and I've been more conscious about it since I got pregnant. I truly realise how the internet is designed to be addictive, and how you cannot live a healthy rich life without self control and internet restrictions. I would love to be present around my children, and I don't want them to see me on my phone a lot.

Now the issue is, I live in a community where I rarely see kids without their phones/ipads anymore. It's scary. Little ones in family gatherings -as young as 1.5 & 2 years old- play youtube songs on loop and zone in to the screen for hours. They don't speak, don't attempt to speak, they just throw tantrums when the device is out of battery. Older kids are also playing online games on their devices all the time, have all kinds of social media accounts, although both of these platforms are full of creeps, and their only ambition is becoming social media influencers. What happened to normal childhood? And am I right in being scared for my future kids?

My concern is that I don't want my kids to be isolated, left out, and completely unaware of the trends, I still want them to build healthy relationships and have fun with their peers. But what if all the peers do is this nonsense? I would like my kids to read books, discuss them with their friends, watch good quality shows, attend plays and experiment with sports, learn some hobbies until they find a passion, cook and sing with me.. It's sad and confusing that kids around me don't do these simple things anymore because of how attached they are to cheap and addictive technology.

Is 2026 too late for me to raise kids with limited screen time, for them to have a richer experience and healthier cognitive functions as children? Is it doable? If so, how can I prepare for this? And what about social media, could parents these days allow social media only when their kids are 18 years old or so?

Okay, weve seen so many of these posts, but I need to rant. My kids are in fifth and second grade of public school, and over the years I've had so many notes (some specifically to me, many for the classroom, and every year new ones for the school) from the school and teachers regarding lunches that the list has grown completely bizarre and contradictory. From standard allergens to wtfs. Teachers especially, could you tell me WHY? And what are we supposed to be feeding our kids?

No peanuts/peanut products

No nuts/nut products

No seeds/seed products

No citrus

No wheat/wheat products

No berries

No eggs

No processed meats

Nothing with a smell

Nothing processed/packaged

No sugar

Nothing that takes more than 5-10 minutes to eat (the kids eat on a timer)

And today, my kid came home with a note saying that I sent too many snacks and a proper meal would be better. A proper meal that can be eaten in 5 minutes?!

Ughhh! I'm standing in my kitchen af 11:30 at night with no idea what to prepare.

My brother and I are in our 40s and he has two sweet kids (6 and 2). They are generally “easy” kids but they are at the ages where they are having tantrums and trying to assert their autonomy in a developmentally appropriate way.

As a member of the “village,” I try to only be helpful and always defer to the parents. I do have a unique role as the kids’ favorite of the extended relatives and want to use this position to support the family.

But sometimes the way that they handle discipline makes me uncomfortable and I’m lost about what I need to be doing in that moment.

Do I stay silent and ignore what’s happening in the moment? Do I leave the room? Do I pretend it never happened? Do I reinforce the lesson later? Do I ignore all of it and be the only fun aunt?

I know it’s hard for everyone and I have every empathy and faith that my brother and his wife will figure it out as a family. It’s easy for me set a boundary for myself to step back entirely when I’m uncomfortable but the only people who miss out with that are the kids.

What has been helpful for the aunties and uncles to do in your family? What do you wish would happen in moments like that? If you were doing something concerning (in discipline), would you want to be told?

My 14 year old is very much into video games. My husband is wanting to play with him The new gta game. His reasoning is that he will prob be exposed to the game with friends and would rather explain it to him. While I can see that is a possibility. I feel like I’m serving a very violent game on a platter for him with lots of sexually explicit material. We have seen media with him that was a bit more mature and we have had conversations about what is wrong or happening in some scenarios. Allowing him to play that game though is a tough sell for me. Even if he might see it with friends. It’s almost like we are telling him that the way they depict women and language is ok. Not sure what to do. Would love some advice we are not agreeing on this. Thanks!

I procrastinated and now have one week to make my daughter‘s tree for her Lorax costume (Google it if you don’t mind) Anyone have any crafty but somewhat simplistic ideas? Thanks from a “I’ll hand make your Halloween costume it’ll be so fun!“ mom rhat needs to follow through 😅

I've heard/read a few times throughout my life that "a challenging toddler will become a challenging teen/an easy toddler will be an easy teen."

In your experience, how true is this??

Hi everyone,

I’m just looking for anyone with similar stories who has reached the other side.

My little one (just turned 3) is very shy. They’ve always taken a long time to warm up, and isn’t confident to try new movement based things and becomes scared. At activities with other kids, they can become scared and refuse to play, standing only with mum. Interaction with other children is quite frankly minimal at childcare, they report little one doesn’t speak to other children often or play with them, but watches and is clearly interested but afraid to join. With guidance, there is some play but little one is still very scared and clings to me. At parks, if they’re playing and unfamiliar kids come, the fear begins.

Some familiar peers, sibling, cousins there is more play. Speech is amazing, full sentences. Super clever, outgoing at home and very self aware. Loves pretend play and typical toddler activities. We get comments how kind and nice our child is.

Basically what I’m asking is…. Has anyone else had a super nervous and scared toddler, who out grew it?! I worry what to do if it continues into schooling.

At times, they can be scared of loud, unexpected noises and cover ears.

I’ve considered autism often, and I guess we meet some criteria, but there is many that aren’t met, and I flip back to them just being super sensitive.

Thank you in advance

Trip revolving around preteen girl

I have a little sister that is 7 (I’m 30). She was obviously my “first” baby, but I’ve had 2 boys in the last 3 years. I want to take her to do something fun & centered around her. What are some things your preteen girl enjoys? Im not against turning it into a 1 night trip but something we could make a day out of would be great.

I want something different than your typical “eat lunch & get our nails done”

My 4yr old daughter has long hair to about mid back. She doesn’t want to cut it because “it’s long and beautiful like a princess” and honestly I love it to. BUT it is so so so fine. She’s got a lot of it but each strand is like spider silk fine. It’s so slippery.

So my issue is, normal cloth like hair ties that don’t have a central rubber band hold for all of 2 seconds. I currently use the typical tiny rubber bands but they knot in her hair so bad. My hair ties, the black wrapped rubber bands will also slip but not as bad as the others. The slinky ones that look like part of a keychain, disaster.

She still gets a short nap at daycare and she sleeps like a crazy person so at the end of the day there’s just a mass of knots all over her head. A half up half down is a disaster zone by the end of the day. The rubber bands still slip a little braids work..kinda but she has differing lengths of hair so pieces fall out and then those get knotted.

I’m looking for recommendations on hair ties and hair styles that parents of other kiddos with long fine hair use to mitigate the knotting. TIA 🙏🏼

Hi, all!

I know this has likely been asked a hundred (maybe a thousand) times before, and I am so sorry. I just like reading newer responses. I checked the rules so I am hoping I am good.

Partner and I have been discussing having a second child for a while now. We both grew up with siblings, and really enjoyed the experience in varying ways. Whenever we had our first, we were very vehemently "one and done" because of how awful my pregnancy, birth experience, and postpartum was -- but, now that a considerable amount of time has passed, we're thinking about it again.

It wouldn't be right now, or for a while, but I wanted to come here and ask - what was it like going from one child to two? Recommend or do not recommend? I am terrified yet deeply desire being able to do this - to parent two kids, raise siblings - somehow simultaneously - is this normal? Our first child would be anywhere from three to five - so parents with that age gap, I would love to hear about it. No rudeness, please - I am just looking for insight from people who have gone through it :)

I read to my 7 year old daughter every night. Not a whole book (she likes the Pumpkin Queen series). Other than comfort, is there any real benefits to reading her a few pages before she falls asleep?

I have a 2 year old and an almost one year old. My mil is constantly telling me that I need parenting lessons to deal with my kids.

Today I took them to a Halloween event where they were hanging out candy and decided to give my oldest a few small pieces. She was having fun and she asked for it. I said F it why not. It’s not like I’m giving her the entire bucket. So of course the sugar rush kicked in. All she is doing is running circles around me and her sister. Mil chimes in that I shouldn’t have given her candy and that I need parenting classes on how to handle her. Well Linda she is perfectly okay and if she gets too rowdy I’ll leave with her. Let her be a kid!

This is also the same woman that gave her an ENTIRE cake while she was 6 months old saying that she needed it after I had told her no.

Mil tells me I need parenting classes for literally everything! My toddler is having a tantrum? Parenting classes. She’s stimming? Parenting classes. She is saying only no or only eating one food? Parenting classes.

I finally snapped and told her to mind her own business that I will raise my children as I see fit. It was a couple pieces of candy and she will be fine!

Our 5-year-old started kindergarten in August and things are not going well. Academically he is doing well. He’s made friends and likes his teacher and school overall. His behavior is becoming a problem though. At a parent-teacher conference a couple of weeks ago we were told that he’s doing great but needs to focus on listening and not talking over the teacher.

He’s in an after-school program and it has been going terribly. He does have some good days, but his behavior has been a major issue from day one. There were a couple of kids who were physically bullying him when he first started and he would retaliate by pushing and hitting them. We had many talks with him about how he needs to tell an adult when this happens so they can handle the situation. I talked to staff at the after-school program and let them know that he was getting picked on. They told him that they were sorry it was happening, and that they would help but he needed to let them know. This basically went in one ear and out the other, and he ended up getting a one-day suspension from the after-school program due to this and some other bad behavior. He saw how upset his mom and I were and we had a serious discussion with him. He seemed to take it to heart.

After that, for several weeks, when he got bullied by these kids he would tell an adult and they would help. The bullying eventually stopped and he did have a few incidents but nothing physical and more like not listening, not keeping his hands to himself, and potty talk. The staff told us that when there’s an issue they talk to him and he seems to understand what he’s doing wrong. Whenever he gets in trouble he faces consequences at home (time out, no TV for the night, etc.).

Last week he had a nuclear meltdown at bedtime, which is a rare occurrence. It started with not wanting to go to bed and eventually escalated to him screaming, hitting us, throwing things, and crying uncontrollably until he nearly made himself throw up. He has an old tablet with some ABC Mouse educational games that he is allowed to use from time to time, MAYBE once a month. He had been using his tablet that day for a couple hours so that was involved in the meltdown. That is put up indefinitely. After he calmed down we had a talk with him, and I had told him that I didn’t want to hear a single thing about his behavior the rest of the week.

The next day I went to pick him up and I found out he was suspended again for a day. He was pushing other kids on the way to the after-school program. He was asked to stop and seemed to understand but kept doing it. He also splashed water on the bathroom floor and on the other kids, and ended up pinching someone which left a mark. He was grounded for a full week, sent to his room, and his mother and I both had very long individual talks with him, then talked to him together. He was told that he needs to apologize to the kids involved with the incident, the adults (when his suspension is over). At the end of the night I told him that I didn’t want to hear about another bad day this week. He’s in Scouts and I told him that if he gets in trouble again he isn’t going to the event they are having this weekend (trip to a local wilderness center).

The day after that, at school, a girl stepped on his fingers and rather than tell the teacher he hit her. He apologized to the girl, the teacher talked to him, and she informed us of the situation. We had another talk with him, more days were added to the grounding, and he was told that he was staying home from the Scouts event this past weekend. That triggered another meltdown, although he came around to accepting the consequences.

Fast forward to today. He got into it with one of the bullies and they started swinging at each other. Both of them ended up suspended for 2 days.

My wife and I are at our wits end with this. We are stressed, I’m sad, and she can’t stop crying. She blames herself, thinks she is failing as a parent. We have talked with him until our jaws hurt and we just can’t seem to get through to him. The grounding and consequences aren’t working. He tells us that he can’t help getting in trouble, that he doesn’t mean to be bad. He always promises that he’s going to have a better day the next day and then something happens. I have gotten to the point where I dread picking him up from the after-school program because I am expecting to hear that he’s gotten into trouble or is getting suspended again.

Something has changed in him since he started kindergarten. I’m not sure if it’s adjusting to public school, as he was raised in Mennonite daycare/preschool from the day he was born. He did get into trouble at preschool but nothing like this, and no more than the other kids there. At preschool there also weren’t as many consequences, each day was a new beginning, so I’m sure that plays into it. I’m not sure if he’s learning/copying bad behavior from other students.

He’s in a program with the school counselor for kids who have a hard time adjusting to kindergarten, where students can learn as a group to manage their feelings and come up with better coping skills. I am also going to have a talk with the after-school program about his behavior and see if they have resources for us to look into. I am also considering looking into a child counselor to see if it would help.

Can anyone relate? Does anyone have advice?

My 1st grader's teacher has sent out a birthday party invite on behalf of a parent. It's a pool party at an indoor water park, in NOVEMBER. My kid didn't want to go there even in summer as the water feels cold to her. Also, the last pool party she went to, she was like "why is every birthday a pool party?" 😂

Fall has made its entry in Texas making mornings bearable. A party at a kids' park between 10-noon would have been fine honestly.

I am so over attending birthday parties this time. I haven't even told my kid about the invite (because the kid isn't that close a friend of hers). However, if it slips out there's a birthday invite, she'll want to go. Sigh

It is 6:20 pm right now. My 5 year old son fell asleep in the car ride over to his brother’s tutoring. The tutoring gets out at 7. Dad is traveling for work so I had to bring all the tag alongs with me for brother’s tutoring.

He is still asleep.

Do I:

1. wake him up, knowing he’ll still have over 30 minutes of waiting

2. Let him sleep, knowing this is the devil’s nap?

His 7 year old brother is also here, happily and quietly entertaining himself, if that matters!

Hello all! I am looking for the best convertible, and preferably swivel, car seat for going behind a tall driver!

We drive a '24 Subaru Outback. My husband is 6'4 and so he has to have the seat set pretty far back. I'm the main driver and only 5'3, but I'd like to find a car seat that will fit behind the driver even when my husband drives.

My son is a big baby, 26in and 20lbs at 4 months, so we also need a seat that can fit a large child!

Please let me know any car seats to avoid and any you love!

Thank you!

I posted a while back asking how people do work with young babies in terms of like working from home... I got a lot of clap back presumably from I don't know workaholics saying that it's impossible and your work life is going to suffer. And then I got a lot of clap back from the mother Earth hippies saying that yes I could do it but I'd be neglecting my child to ensure the work is done and that basically both sides the debate said you cannot do both.

I'm just here to say that it actually is possible.

I wfh three days a week with my baby because I didn't want them to go into daycare too early. I was planning to transition them to day care a little bit later.

I found I was absolutely able to do work and look after a baby and keep them entertained and happy. The key thing was probably that it was a lot easier when they were younger for sure.

I end up stopping when he was nine months old and putting him into daycare.

I have found now that they are 10 months that today is quite challenging... He is quite attention seeking right now although I am actually getting reports reviewed so work is happening!

As a timesheeter I just want to say suck it to the naysayers because I'm equally productive working at home with a young child as I was in the office.

I did find though for me and this particular baby that did tap out around the nine month mark though.

Overall it was quite hard work because I did feel like I was balancing work, baby, in general home life on my own but that was also some of my husband having a really intense year contributing to that.

So here's a post for the people in the middle who aren't company men or mother Earthers.

This is a post to the reality of the modern day mum. Is possible if you want to delay daycare a little bit longer.

edit: it's hilarious how much hate there is for a lot of uneducated assumptions. have half of you never had 3 under 5? because that's intense. someone is always not getting your immediate attention. just goes to show how much woman don't support other woman try to boss it at life. is it hard work? absolutely. this has been the most tiring year if my life. but we have a financial reality we needed to balance with the fact I felt like daycare too early wasn't great for bubs. he's better off being with me for sure.

When did your kid stop being picky, how did you help them or did it just go away? My 24 month old has stopped eating almost anything thats not sweet or bland and im stuck between not trying to make eating stressful/pressure and not letting him get stuck with a limited pallet of processed foods. So just looking for advice/what to expect.

I only have 2 kids, ages 1 and 4, but it feels like I have a thousand kids. The 1 year old needs a lot of supervision and the 4 year old wants my attention every moment that his eyes are open. I feel like I'm letting him down because I have to spend a lot of time making sure baby doesn't die and can't give him the quality attention he wants.

Someone is ALWAYS asking me something, or needs something, or wants me to look at something, or wants me to entertain them. I was originally hoping for 3 kids but at this rate I feel like my brain might explode if I had one more thing vying for my attention.

Are people who can handle more than 2 kids truly just a different breed? When does it get easier??

Our first grader is on the older side (7 years old in September). About 80% of his classmates are learning English. The first 6 weeks of class was tracing the alphabet and simple addition. I think since my son is older, the work is too easy for him. He’s been getting in trouble for chatting and being social. He gets his work done fast and then starts talking.

It’s public education and so they follow a curriculum. I try to challenge him at home, but anyone have experience in asking for more advance work assignments? I do think the I-ready computer allows him to have work that gets more difficult, but that’s a small part of his day.

Dear All,

I'm first time parent and hope that this topic is appropriate. Overall, I try to stay informed by reading but getting some direct feedback is always appreciated.

Our son (15 months) is a bit on the smaller and delicate side. Overall he seems to adapt well when playing with others, sharing toys and being curious. This was also echoed by the staff of the daycare, he seems to be very low maintenance and easy going with others.

We arrange a lot of play dates with our extended family, our son has a toddler cousin of 16 months. So they are more or less growing up together. That said, his cousin is quite a unit physically speaking and is used to receiving a lot of attention as he more or less dictates all his needs to my in-laws. That said, I don't want to interpret or object to much in regards to how they raise their child but they're very much helicopter-parents or paranoid parents.

During our recent playdates, his cousin always attempted to forcefully grab our toys that he picks up. He also tried to push him off the baby-walker and our bobby car. I must admit that I was a bit taken aback how he tried to push him off the car, at times his cousin just forces himself to sit in the car while our son is still on it, resulting in minor incidents that are not always nice to witness as a parent. I guess our son isn't yet so protective but it's always very annoying to see how everything is being taken away from him or not shared.

It's clear that children have to be educated to respect others and to share things, including their boundaries. That said, I'm not sure how to handle this situation at the moment. When an incident occurs, I'm breaking it up and trying to tell them that they need to share and be mindful but I just want to do it in the best way possible. At least, I try to explain it and ensure that things can be shared.

I'm also a bit vigilant as my in-laws don't seem to be as bothered by it. Their overparenting did cause some chagrin in the past, so I believe that I'm a bit more irritated by their passive nature in this particular context. In addition, our daycare warned us that our son could be subject of being mishandled because he usually is compliant or not as bothered.

To conclude, I'm just wondering how to approach this behavior. I'm very socially aware of dynamics and I've been victim myself which resulted in me being pushed around as a kid. Luckily, I worked on it as an adult but it's all very confusing with children.

My father and I are both combat veteran U.S. Marines, and I don’t talk about any of that and it’s not really part of my life.

Now my 6yo daughter’s kindergarten is having a “Veterans’ Breakfast,” which my father will want to attend because he’s one of those really proud guys with Marine Corps colors and emblems on everything he owns and wears.

I’m kind of at a loss how to explain to her what a veteran is without explaining what the military is, which basically leads to “there’s this thing called war, people do awful things to each other, people kill each other, I’ve killed people who were trying to kill me, they killed my friends though,” etc.

When I was growing up, it was always treated like a pre-destined thing that I’m going to join the military, what I wanted had very little to do with anything. In fact, I chose to join the toughest branch for the toughest and most dangerous job, specifically so I could do one enlistment and get out and never have to hear about it from another family member ever again.

I have deliberately not told my kids about it except things like “I once had a job where I lived outside all the time” and “I once had a job where I traveled on a ship and went all over the world.” I asked my daughter what she knows about soldiers and she said “nothing.”

I’m sure my kids have probably seen some tv violence etc. because their mother has no problem watching horror shows and stuff with the kids around, but I also tell them regularly that anything you see on a screen isn’t real, and/or a screen can show you anything, real or fake.

How much do I tell a 6yo about the bad that’s real?

I am nearing the end of my maternity leave and actively engaged in the childcare search for my little one, who will be about six months when I return to work. I am curious about what other parents are finding re: screen time at daycares. We visited a place close to home and while I liked a number of things, I didn’t like how two classrooms (albeit, not infants) were engaged in TV and iPad while we visited. Is it unreasonable to expect zero screen time at daycares unless you do high end Montessori?

We are trying very hard for baby to be screen free at least for first two years, but it also feels weird to pay for someone else to entertain our kid with devices when I could do that for free while working from home.

Edited to add: When we asked about the screens, we received a non-definitive answer about how often they were used, something along the lines of “occasionally the teachers will show a clip with…” One group of 3-4 year olds was following along to a Blippi-like video on a 80 inch TV and a group of 2-3 year olds was all huddled around an iPad watching Mickey Mouse clubhouse. I was ensured that the infant room has no screens.

I have to kids 5 and 2. they both love books and being read to and it’s been my greatest joy and scouting new books for them might be my favorite hobby.

They have separate bedtimes and I read to each of them every single night. My 2 year old obviously reads different books than my 5 year old although it’s now finally possible to read some picture books they both enjoy and we do that at different times during the day. With my 5 year old, we read both picture and chapter books. I wonder about additional fixed reading routines throughout the day. Aka this is when I read the current chapter book, this is our together reading time etc etc.

How do you do it?

My son is 3 next month and we have a 5 week old. We a

Have found that his behaviour was starting to deteriorate during the end of my pregnancy. However since baby girl arrived his behaviour is out of control.

He will throw things around and when we take them off him (calmly, and explaining that it is not safe) he just moves onto the next toy and throws this. He also hits and kicks me and his dad, pulls my hair and scratches or hits us with his toys. He has now started to hurt his sister and has once shook her moses basket as she was sleeping in it. He has accidently kicked her whilst kicking me and then once he realised what he did he smacked her. He has also splashed water in her face when we were bathing her, he also often says he wants to smack her. He also slams doors and bangs on them next to her when he knows baby is asleep and when we move him away he just runs back and obviously when I'm home alone with them both it's extremely hard to keep him away whilst making sure she is safe and happy.

We try and stay as calm as possible when he does all of this but sometimes we do raise our voice because it is exhausting 😫 We have found no matter what we do nothing seems to be working and his behaviour is just getting worse.

We dedicate at least 20 minutes a day to do whatever he wants together without the baby, as whenever we research what to do this is the first thing it says. Feel like this has made no difference to his behaviour though.

Has anyone else had a similar experience and if so how long did it last?! Or do people think I need to speak to someone? I have spoken to health visitors and they say it's normal but this seems extreme now 😫