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I’m at a loss for how to handle this situation. Recently, university exams and clinicals have been incredibly stressful, and as a result, I haven’t been affectionate as much with him. This includes not having sex as frequently and other things with my boyfriend. I also have not been able to go on dates for the time being with him, but I communicated my feelings to him, and he seemed completely fine and understanding.

Today, I got home from class and started asking him questions about our grocery shopping for the week. He brushed me off and told me he didn’t want to talk. I asked him if he was okay, and he snapped at me and started yelling. When I tried to calm him down so we could communicate, he slapped me. Immediately after, he apologized and said, “He didn’t mean too,” and that he was so sorry.

I’m still in shock and am now in my room for some space. We’ve been together for three years, and nothing has ever been so terrible to this degree. I’m conflicted and don’t know what to do. I have no idea if I want to forgive him or if I should leave. My parents always taught me that if something like this happens, the first time is never last, and I should leave. But I love him with my whole heart, and our relationship has been amazing and healthy and he’s always been the gentle type and over the three years almost four we have always been communicative and have never got into any arguments of sorts. He brings me flowers every week and cooks when im stressed among other things that im so thankful for but now i can’t help but think about what could happen.

EDIT- He has been dealing with an insane amount of stress including his mother being hospitalized due to cancer which could explain his shift in mannerisms if this helps give more background information.
Please ask questions if you have any. I would greatly appreciate any advice you can offer.

Update One- Hello! I feel like a wreck right now, but I ended up getting a call from his older brother about a half hour ago in which he apologized on my boyfriend’s behalf again. He ended up telling me I needed to get out of the situation and that he himself would help me move to his place since he also stays in NY for college but lives in Manhattan, so I feel I might do this or book a hotel for the time being to get my situation sorted out and find an apartment stat. At first, I wasn’t thinking about leaving, but now with all the heartbreaking stories I’ve seen, I have to leave out of respect for myself and my safety most of all. I thank you and all the other lovely men and women for knocking that into my head. I will be sure to give an update as soon as I can again

This is taking a lot to put out there but i need help. I love my girlfriend and i want to spend the rest of my life with her as i genuinely don’t see myself with anyone else but i dont know what it is but for some reason i just can’t have sex with her. I find her attractive she’s hot to me but for some reason i just can’t do it. I have to make excuses to not do it like i’m tired or my body is aching from football or something but deep down i just can’t bring myself to do it. Is there something wrong with me as i used to be a very sexually active person and so was she that’s why we clicked, but now she comes onto me and i just can’t do it. What do i do?

Over a year ago, the 16 year old neighbor boy came to my door and asked if he could park in my driveway and walk across my property to get to 60 acres of land behind us to bow hunt deer. We own 6 acres. I know his parents slightly. Nice kid so I said sure! He put a camera in the woods, weed whacked a path in the woods and put up a blind. He puts deer corn out. He is a really nice kid but here’s where we are.

He has told other kids about this and I find unfamiliar kids parking in my driveway and spending hours in the woods and we don’t know who they are. Btw, our driveway is huge so cars parked in driveway is not really an issue.

I’ve already made up my mind to shut this whole thing down once bow hunting season is done this year in December. They only bow hunt, no rifles.

To keep it from being awkward I was going to tell the kid we are selling our home so we can no longer give them access to the property to hunt which is sort of true … except we might wait another year to list the home. Or, should I come straight out and tell him I have too many stranger kids coming across my property. My goal is to just stop everyone, so I don’t want to leave any door open such as… he agrees to go back to just him and his buddy which allowed originally.

Would you fudge or fess up?

Looking for advice because this has been a disagreement we've been having for a while now. I'm also anonymous because my son's mother knows my original account.

My ex and I had our son when she was 19 and I was 20. We had dated through most of middle school and all of high school and moved in together once she graduated. We didn't plan on having kids so young but we had a birth control failure and she decided she wanted to see what would happen and we had our son eight months later. When our our son was 3 months old my ex told me she wanted to have an open relationship and she wanted permission to be with other guys. I wasn't okay with that and after some fights we broke up.

We shared custody initially with me having our son some nights she went out during her parenting time. About six months after our breakup she was living with another guy. He kicked her out when she ended up pregnant and she lost the baby soon after. Then within a couple of months she was living with another guy and ended up pregnant by him. She had her second child just after our son turned 2. She was bouncing around and she was very unstable in her relationships and living situations. Most of the time I was running around trying to find where to pick my son up and it was having a negative affect on him. Not to mention having her third child a year after her second.

I asked her if she would let me have primary custody of our son and she said no. So I took her to court and was awarded primary custody. At that point she was pregnant with her fourth child and our son was 4. He's now 8.

My ex has our son one weekend a month. There are some months she is not living in a stable place so he stays with me, per our court order. She also has six children total now. None of those children have any contact with their fathers from what I have been told.

My ex has complained that I don't send our son to her house with anything for her other children. She has specifically mentioned clothes and gifts for birthdays/Christmas. She said that the least I can do since I have money is to make sure her kids have that stuff. I have never sent my son with anything for his half siblings. I have never considered it either but she has pushed so much that I wanted to get advice.

My son does not like going to his mom's. He spends most of the time wishing he could come back and calling me. But the court will not strip her time down any further and my ex doesn't care if our son doesn't want to be there. She doesn't understand why he doesn't like going to random houses every couple of months and meeting random guys every so often. I have my son in therapy which has been beneficial for him. And so far my ex has not asked him directly to bring anything for the other kids. She only asks me.

So this happened last night and I've been thinking about it all day.

My gf (25F) and I (27M) have been together for almost 3 years. Our relationship is pretty good, but lately our sex life has slowed down a lot.

Sometimes when I get into bed and try to cuddle with her, she's already asleep. Or at least I thought she was.

Last night we were talking about random relationship stuff and she casually admitted that sometimes she pretends to be asleep because she knows I might want sex and she doesn't feel like it.

I asked her why she doesn't just tell me she's not in the mood. She said she doesn't want me to feel rejected or make things awkward.

And that's the part that bothers me.

I've never gotten angry when she's said no. At least I don't think I have. But now I'm sitting here wondering if I've somehow made her feel like she can't be honest with me.

I also feel weird knowing that some nights I was lying next to her thinking she was sleeping when she was actually trying to avoid me.

I told her she never has to pretend and that I'd rather she just tell me.

She said I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it is.

I honestly don't know how to handle this. I don't want her to feel pressured into sex, but I also don't want her to feel like she has to pretend to be asleep around me.

How do I bring this up without making her feel guilty or turning it into an argument? I'd appreciate advice from people who've dealt with something similar.

I recently completed medical school (25F) and will have my graduation in less than a month. It took me 6 years to complete and was mostly footing all my expenses; tuition, rent, food and the rest through part time jobs and some friends helping out.

Occasionally my father would chip in when it suited him. 3 weeks ago my father (59M) disowned me for “refusing to move back home so that he could look at me every evening when he was back from work and living my life independently”. He also refused to congratulate me for finishing medical school because I don’t live under his roof. We haven’t had any contact since then.

My mother has since then being trying to convince me to apologize to him even though I did nothing wrong just to calm him down. And today she told me that he said he wouldn’t come for my graduation if I didn’t beg him.

I’m infuriated. No need to tell me my mother is an enabler and two faced.

I was starting to get excited about my day. I mean I went through a lot to get these degrees. I’m just getting the hang that I’m bagging a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery.

I continue to live independently and sustain my life and my dad hasn’t had the small interest in my life since forever and still has no interest.

Not sure what to do, it would be nice that he was present despite him not being a great person, but I don’t want to beg or apologize yet I did nothing wrong.

Hello - I have been lurking on Reddit for some time but never really felt the urge to actually post something until now.

I’m in a really tough and stressful spot and I’m here seeking advice on how to handle this. My ex and mother to my daughter was diagnosed with ALS a few months ago and she’s been overwhelmed with everything she’s had going on. Due to this, I have been the one primary caring for our daughter. She has been living with me and she’s honestly been such a trooper considering the situation.

My ex’s disease was not very far progressed. She was still walking, eating okay, etc. But tonight, I got a call from her sister. She had been rushed to the hospital after going into cardiac arrest. She did not survive.

Obviously things did work out between my ex and I and she had her issues, but I’m truly devastated for my daughter. My daughter and I have always been close, but she has always been attached at the hip with her mother. She was her little shadow.

I’m struggling with how to tell her, I know it’s going to be hard for her no matter what. But she is only 6 years old and I want to be there to support her through this in any way I can. My heart is broken and I don’t know what to do.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

UPDATE: I sat her down and told her the best I could. She is extremely distraught and it’s truly breaking my heart. I just want to make it better but I feel helpless.

This is a completely anonymous account so my stepsister does not see this. Hopefully lol.

My stepsister and I are both 19. We've been stepsiblings since we were 8. My mom died when I was 4 and her dad bailed as soon as her mom met my dad when we were 7. Her dad's family also dropped her and her mom didn't have any family. I had my dad's family some of the time, when they felt like being there, but I always had my mom's family. My grandparents made sure they had regular contact with me and they spoiled me ngl. That made my stepsister jealous. We were never close, never considered each other siblings but by the time we were 12ish she was hurt that my mom's family never included her in anything and that she was never family to them. My dad tried to encourage me and my mom's family to include and accept her into the family but it never happened.

One of the perks of being so close to my grandparents is they let me use their vacation lodge for free. My friends and I go there every few months for a weekend or a week to ten days and relax and unwind. Last year we used it a lot during the summer and we were there twice this summer.

We're planning a trip over winter break there too.

My stepsister and her friends have been trying to plan a vacation for their friend group but they can't afford much. My dad called my grandparents and asked them to let her use the lodge and they said no. Then he gave my stepsister my grandparents number so she could call and ask and they said no. She asked me if I would ask them and I said no.

When my dad found out he told me I could have asked for her and if I won't do that I could include her and her friends in mine and my friend's plans. He said I never advocated for her before or included her like a sister but he stressed to me she should be by now and that I could at least have her back here because I have been privileged where she has not been and she has always had significantly less.

I'll be honest it sounds like hell to have all of us together and I don't socialize with my stepsister outside of family functions. We don't live together because I moved out but she still lives with my dad and her mom. But my dad keeps stressing that I should and my grandparents would have zero issue with me including her and her friends. So technically nothing is stopping me other than not wanting to invite them. I'm here for advice because I don't know whether I should ignore what I want to make my dad happy or just to be nice.

I have a 6 month old daughter and recently returned to work part time. Both my husband and I are pilots so we have a nanny but also rely on family to help some with childcare. My mom takes her for overnights when we’re both gone (generally once every other week) and our nanny takes care of her during the day when we’re gone. My sister is 19f and still living at home and previously I haven’t minded if she’s the one watching my daughter for a couple hours while my mom finishes work or whatever after our nanny’s hours are over.

Sister also had a puppy that was around 8 months. As far as I knew she took good care of her, she was potty trained and always playing or napping with my sister when I was over. Two days ago my grandma (who also lives with them) called me to tell me that sister’s dog starved to death because she kept forgetting to feed her and wouldn’t let anyone else help when they offered. I asked my mom and she said the same thing and was absolutely heartbroken about it because it was under her roof and she had been on my sister’s case about making sure the dog gets fed and felt awful that she took my sister at her word that she was feeding her three times a day.

Later this week is a night that both my husband and I are gone but also the day that my mom usually works late. I asked my mom if she would be able to leave early and if not let her know that I don’t leave until late afternoon and our nanny said since she’s starting later she can hold on to daughter until she can do handoff with my mom. My mom said that sister can take care of her for a couple hours and I said absolutely not and I didn’t want her to be unattended with my daughter at all for a while. My mom and grandma both understood but my sister is furious about it. I’m scared I’m ruining our relationship by making this decision but there is no chance I’m trusting her with a fish, much less a baby right now or really until my daughter is old enough to communicate with me if something is wrong.

My sister says I’m blaming her and keeping her from her niece because she has (self diagnosed) adhd and that it’s ableist to not let her around my daughter because of a (self diagnosed) disability. I don’t know how to approach this to maintain some kind of relationship with her while also holding my ground that she is absolutely not to be left alone with my daughter

My parents can't really afford the heating right now and its really cold in my house like bloody freezing, I genuinely cannot leave my bed without getting extremely cold, the whole house is cold, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to stay warm? Is there a certain way I should layer clothes (I don't have too many but I have afew jackets, Tshirts, long sleeve tops, my pajama bottoms and afew pairs of socks i could maybe layer?) Any advice on things that will make me warmer is appreciated! Especially downstairs where even having a big blanket on, Im still cold and so are my siblings, Thank you!

edit: Thank you everyone for being so kind and giving such lovely advice, Im 17 so it sucks having to ask for help on things like this, despite having a job to try support my parents with heating, rent, food etc, I really appreciate it and anyone in the same situation as me, I hope it gets easier for you and I hope some of the advice from the lovely people in my comments can help anyone else who needs it. 🫶

I recently found out that my mom has been cheating on my dad with his own best friend. I discovered it after checking her phone, and I wish I never had to find out something like this. I never imagined my mom would do something like this, especially with someone my dad considers a close friend.

My biggest concern is my younger siblings. They’re still not old enough to stand on their own or support themselves, and I’m scared that if my parents separate, our entire family setup could change in a way that wouldn’t benefit any of us, especially them. I’m worried about our financial stability, our living situation, and how this could affect their future.

Every time I think about telling him, I imagine our family falling apart. But whenever I think about keeping it a secret, I feel guilty because my dad is living his life without knowing what’s happening behind his back.

I love my family, and I don’t want my siblings to suffer because of something they had absolutely no part in. At the same time, I don’t want my dad to continue being betrayed.
I feel like I’m stuck between doing what’s morally right and doing what I think might protect our family’s future. I don’t even know if keeping quiet is actually protecting anyone or just delaying something inevitable.

Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and yesterday, I was on his phone and saw a photo of his penis, next to a photo of a girl I’ve never seen before. Obviously I’m taken aback and start to dig through his phone. I look at his reddit and in his recent searches is a “women rate cock. To my knowledge I couldn’t find anywhere he had posted the photo or sent it to anyone but I’m also just not that good with reddit or stuff like that so for all I know he could just be hiding it well. When I brought it up to him, he lied and said he didn’t know why he took it, then once I told him I saw the reddit, his story changed to he was just horny and was never going to send it anywhere. I just don’t trust any of it. Is it cheating? Is it grounds for a breakup? I just don’t think someone who respects me would do that but we’ve been together so long and I don’t know adult life without him. Any advice is appreciated, thank you 🙏

Does anyone know how to make my bf (24) last longer. I (20) am getting so fucking frustrated. I made a post here recently about my boyfriend being selfish in bed. Last night started good or at least better.

I started off blowing him. Then 69 and that made him finish. He then finished me off. The break in between the rounds was like an hour and a half to two hours. On his phone basically the entire time.

Then after he was ready to go I started riding him. Within maybe 30 seconds he thought he was going to cum so I got off. Usually I finish him my blowing him so I got to it. After 5 minutes I asked him if he was close. He said “not anymore”. We then tried missionary and it felt great. For maybe a minute or two. Same idea. Blowjob after. Then told me he was “tired and overstimulated” to finish me off. So I just left.

Does that make me a bitch? I’m getting really tired of this and I’m feeling like a hooker just blowing him all the time tbh.

I’d love to go on birth control, but unfortunately, my parents are extremely strict and I’m still on their insurance due to me being in college as I am not financially stable enough to go independent fully.

EDIT: HE IS WEARING A CONDOM EVERYTIME.

Hey guys, I really need to vent and get some advice because I’m so exhausted and mad right now.
My dad died a while ago, and obviously it’s been awful for our whole family. My mom is trying her absolute hardest to keep us going. My younger brother (14) asked to go to therapy, so she put him in therapy right away. She buys him literally anything he asks for and does whatever she can for him. But he treats her so badly. He acts like a total victim 24/7. He gets mad if she has a drink (she’s an alcoholic but has gotten SO MUCH BETTER) or if she dates, and he literally says "she’s just trying to buy my love" even though HE is the one always begging her for stuff. Then when she gets it for him, he turns around and acts like she’s evil.

Recently he decided he wanted to see a psychiatrist, but there aren't any near where we live. He literally screamed at my mom like it was her fault. And today my mom was sick in bed and calling/phoning his room asking if he could bring her some medicine. He completely ignored her, so I had to do it. When I called him out, he literally just laughed in my face like it was a game.

I get that grief is hard and everyone copes differently, but he’s just being straightup cruel at this point. I’m so sick of watching him treat my mom like trash when she’s doing everything for him, and I feel like I always have to be the responsible one while he
acts like a spoiled brat.

How do I deal with this without losing my mind or screaming at him? Has anyone else had a sibling act like this after losing a parent? Will he “grow” out of it?

I still love him; I’m just annoyed. Ignore me calling him a spoiled brat.

Using an anon throwaway account so nobody irl sees this.

My older sister (20F) has Down Syndrome. She has a ton of complex medical issues as a result. She has heart issues, she's got a weak immune system and she has issues with her lungs and she has trouble breathing from October to April every year. When my parents realized just how sickly she was they had me (17M) so that she would have someone to take care of her when they got too old or when they died. My parents were also older parents to us. They had my sister at 40 and me at 43 and 44 so it's not some far off thing because my parents both have medical issues themselves. My dad has issues with his back and my mom has arthritis. They already struggle to manage my sister but they will not consider outsourcing her care to an assisted living facility or a medical facility.

Now here's the other part of this. My sister isn't the stereotype of the people with DS. She isn't this super sweet and loving and gentle and perfect person. My sister has anger issues and aggressive tendencies. This was a problem once she turned 4 and every year she gets worse. She has hurt our parents and me countless times. I used to be really afraid of her aggression when I was a little kid. People are always so shocked when they see how she behaves toward people and I get shit for trying to talk about it. My parents don't want me to talk about it. My school counselor acted like I was a monster for saying my sister was aggressive and terrifying and way too difficult to handle. She also believes the stereotype of people with DS is the only type of people with DS so I don't have a safe space with her. My parents refuse to get me my own therapist and I'm afraid to talk with anybody anymore because the same reaction happened in middle school when I opened up to the school psychologist.

My parents have always told me I will take care of my sister one day and about three years ago I told them no for the first time. I have said no six times since then and each time they ignore my answer and they carry on like I have agreed to dedicate my life to my sister. They have yelled at me for not being more active in caring for her now. They have yelled at me for stopping her from touching me because they think I treat her like she has some contagious disease. But I just don't want to give her the ability to hurt me or to drag me around after her like I'm her puppy or something.

I feel lost and I don't know what I can do. My dad's back could fuck itself up at any point and then if my mom flares up real bad they will expect me to step in and it terrifies me because I don't want to do this. I don't want this life.

If you have any advice at all for me I would love to hear it because I'm trying to figure out how I can escape and if I leave I might go no contact and hide to avoid this being pushed onto me.

I genuinely don’t know what else I can do at this point.

I’m 31 years old in Southern California

For seven years, after the military I ran a construction company. Unfortunately, things took a turn, and I’m now in the process of shutting it down and filing for bankruptcy. The irony is that I can’t even afford to file for bankruptcy, so that’s on hold too.

For the past 3–5 months, I’ve been applying to probably 10 jobs a day. That’s hundreds upon hundreds of applications across practically every industry imaginable. Construction, project management, administration, security, entry-level positions, you name it.

I’ve completed aptitude tests, virtual assessments, and multiple hiring processes, only to sit in “processing” for nearly two months without hearing anything. Other companies just send rejection letters, if they respond at all.
I’ve personally reached out to construction companies on Instagram. Some respond and ask me to email my resume, and then completely disappear.

I’m a Marine Corps veteran. I’ve owned and operated a business, managed employees, handled multimillion-dollar projects, and worked my entire adult life. At this point, I’m not even concerned about titles or positions. I just want to work. Labor work has become difficult for me because a year ago I was t boned and inured but I still say screw it do what I can

I even went out and completed the training for my California security guard card, hoping that would open another door. But once again, employers want additional training, certifications, weeks of waiting, or experience before giving someone an opportunity.

For the past four months, I’ve been dangerously close to homelessness. I’ve exhausted what little money I had, borrowed from family and friends, and scraped together whatever I could just to keep a roof over our heads.
I reached out to the VA and other veteran organizations. Thankfully, I received assistance for one month, but that was it.

So I started DoorDashing. I was actually doing well and finally had some money coming in. Went up in the tier system Then, out of nowhere, DoorDash suspended my account without a clear explanation. Now they’re telling me it could take another month or two to resolve, while the money I earned is sitting in limbo.

I tried Uber, but I’m barely getting anything there either. Literally $10 a day

I went and did odd jobs to try and make some money like picking up trash to furniture it has completely stopped

I’m now at the point where I don’t even have enough money to put gas in my vehicle, so I can’t drive to make money even if an opportunity comes up.

Every down fall I got up and found alternative routes but this time around after door dash and waiting on hires came to an end idk what to do

And when I explain how defeated I feel, my fiancée tells me I can’t give up you’re a loser etc etc

But honestly, what else am I supposed to do? She makes no money as an internship program for her degree/ licensing

I’ve applied to hundreds, potentially over a thousand jobs. I’ve contacted businesses directly. I’ve completed assessments, taken additional courses, pursued different industries, sought veteran assistance, tried gig work, and swallowed whatever pride I had left to ask people for help.
I’m 31 years old. I have a bachelors in business, military service, years of management experience, and seven years of running my own company. I’m willing to start over from the bottom. I’m willing to work nights, weekends, whatever it takes. All the veteran programs have denied to help me due to “budget and defunding “

But I cannot force somebody to hire me.
And that’s the part that I think people don’t understand. You can tell somebody to keep trying, keep pushing, stay positive, and never give up. But what happens when that person has been doing exactly that every single day for months and nothing changes?

I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m genuinely exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and financially.

I don’t need another motivational speech about working harder. I’m already trying everything I know how to do.
I just need an opportunity. A real one.

If anyone knows of legitimate employment opportunities in Orange County, Los Angeles, or the surrounding areas, I’m open to just about anything. I just want the chance to get back on my feet or any advice recommendations ? Please

My (53f) 15 y/o son just told me he's Bi, with a twist. Seeking pearls of wisdom on how to navigate this please!

My (54 F) 15 y/o son just told me he's bi with a twist. Seeking pearls of wisdom on how to navigate this please!

Burner account, because this is not my news to share. Yesterday, I was driving my (15 M) son "Kent" to the movies to meet a new friend "Dean".

Kent has a big, quirky, supportive friend group and "Dean" was a new name I'd not heard before. I was asking all the usual Mum to son questions - how many people will be there, are you going anywhere afterwards, what time would you like picking up? He replied, super casually, "Just me and my boyfriend. 5 o'clock please." I responded with something flippant like "Cool! Hope you get to hold hands." and drove off.

For context, Kent is an amazing kid. Kind, thoughtful, empathetic and humble. He's had a girlfriend before but he's not driven by hormones. He's still of an age to be more captivated by lego and anime.

For some reason, that throw-away comment stuck in my brain, ping-ponging around for hours. I felt something needed to be said.

I tapped on his bedroom door. "Hey bub. That boyfriend comment you made in the car..." I'd intended to carry on with something like "so you know, if you are gay, that's completely okay." But he interrupted.

"I wasn't joking Mum. I'm Bisexual"

"Really? Wow! Congratulations! How long have you known? Forever? Just now? Wow! So many questions! Are you okay? I'm so proud of you! You're so brave!"

That last part may have been the wrong thing to say. He scowled a little and declared that being himself isn't brave because he doesn't have a choice.

I sat on his bed and asked all the same questions I asked when my eldest son told me he had a girlfriend.
Where did you meet? What's he like? Is he kind? Have you met his parents?

Then I asked to please see a photo. He showed me one blurry action shot with his face largely obscured.

"Sporty! Not your usual type!" I asked to see another, clearer one. He hesitated for a fraction of a second and handed me back his phone.

I was confused.

I was very clearly looking at a photo of a beautiful young (same age) girl.

He read my expression and explained.

"He's trans."

"Oh!"...."So.....so she.."

"He"

"Sorry, he. So he was born female, but identifies as male? And uses he/him personal pronouns?"

"Yes. And they/them"

"OK. Wow! You love a girl who's a boy. I'm so happy you have someone special"

"I love a boy Mum. I'm bisexual"

And here we are.

I have so, so many questions.

I've always considered myself open minded but I realise how much I don't know.

I felt that Q & A was over for now with Kent. Pushing for more would've made it not normal, but I've been bombarding Google.

Can someone please explain to me the they / them bit.

Also capitals (weird I know). Bi or bi? Trans or trans?

Or is he pan? Or does it matter? If he identifies as Bi, I feel that is right.

I've told him I'm honoured he's shared with me. I've also said I'll take his lead in sharing his news further. I'm not telling anyone until he does, or he asks me to.

I'm concerned there are family members who will not take it well. Will try to, (best case, but awful) dismiss it as a phase or (worst case) ban them from seeing each other or inflicting punishment.

I'm worried I'll mess up. Accidentally use the wrong pronouns. Ask inappropriate or too many questions. I have a burning desire to learn everything and I'm asking you good people to please educate me!

How do I best navigate this with love, acceptance and respect?

Thank you! * UPDATE: A huge thank you to the many, many kind folk who took time out of their day to comment. It truly means a lot. Comments have apparently been turned off so I can't reply to all of them, sorry.

My main take-aways: Don't overthink it. Go with the flow and trust the process. Accept I'm gonna make mistakes -apologise and try to do better.

Addressing the many comments about other family members potentially negative reactions... Kent is in a shared custody situation and I have zero jurisdiction at his other home. He has a key to our house and knows he's more than welcome to be here every single day.

Thank you all

A few weeks ago an argument broke out between my mom and my future mother in law where my mom said to her people call her a whore. Last month of my life has been pure hell. My fiance keeps holding this over my head. I have been crying non stop trying to think of solutions, trying to get my mom to apologize which she will not.

My fiance at any inconvenience to him the last few weeks says this relationship is over. I keep saying okay it’s over but it never really ends. I told him yesterday his mom is not welcome to come to my parents house to get her hair and make up done due to the situation and not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable. He lost it and said it’s over again. Ok this time for real just end it. He texted me this morning going off on me and I said you keep ending it. Call all the vendors and cancel.

He just isn’t calling the vendors. My mom called his mom to try and fix things and his mom said no my mom is the problem and hung up on her. I keep trying to fix things and asked all of them to meet up in a public place to resolve this and my future mother in law left the chat. I keep coming up with solutions and both my fiance and his mother don’t like anything I have to say. I’m trying to fix everything and nothing is good enough for them. It’s like they want their way or nothing.

Keep in mind now this entire argument was because my future mil didn’t want me inviting my family members to our rehearsal dinner she was paying for that my parents so gratefully said they paid for any extra people and she did not accept that.

My fiance never sides with any of my solutions and I keep telling him I know what my mom said was wrong but he is holding it over my head. Yet how is my parents going to allow his mom in my parents house to get ready if she says she doesn’t want to fix things after my mom tried reaching out to correct what was done. He thinks my parents are wrong. All of this is so childish.

I’m 23F, a college graduate, and I work full-time, but I still live with my very strict, religious parents.

My mom is extremely overprotective. She expects me to be home before dark, doesn’t like me driving at night, and has always been against sleepovers. Even when I want to go out with friends, she brings up stories about shootings, kidnappings, and other dangerous situations.

I’ve never really gone against her wishes because she makes me feel so guilty that I usually end up canceling my plans.

Now I’m in a situation, and I genuinely don’t know what to do.

My boyfriend and I are long-distance, and he’s coming to visit me this Saturday. Since we don’t see each other often, we’ve planned a whole day together, and we also booked a hotel to spend the night together.

Before anyone asks, I genuinely WANT to spend the night with him. I’m not being pressured into anything, and I’m not doing this to spite my parents. I simply want to enjoy time with my boyfriend.

The problem is that my parents are very religious and don’t believe unmarried couples should spend the night together.

I already know my mom wouldn’t approve of me staying at a hotel with him.

So I came up with the idea of telling her I was spending the night at my cousin’s house instead.

I know lying isn’t the right way to handle things, but I was honestly scared to tell her the truth. I’m 23, and I was literally shaking before I even worked up the courage to mention the sleepover.

When I finally told her, she surprisingly said she didn’t mind me spending the night with that particular cousin.

I was SO relieved.

But then she said she wanted to talk to my cousin’s mom first.

I asked my cousin to give her mom a heads-up about the supposed sleepover without mentioning my actual plans.

Well, today I asked my cousin what her mom said, and apparently her mom’s response was, “Hell no.”

Now I’m panicking.

My mom hasn’t contacted my cousin’s mom yet, and I’m hoping she forgot about wanting to speak with her.

I was considering waiting until the last minute to remind my mom about the sleepover, but now I’m terrified she’s going to call or text my cousin’s mom and find out there’s no sleepover.

I know some people are probably going to tell me to just be honest with my mom, but that’s easier said than done when you’ve grown up in a household where you feel guilty for making decisions your parents don’t approve of.

I’m financially responsible for myself in several ways, including paying my car note, and I’m currently saving to move out next year.

I love my parents, and I don’t want to disrespect them, but I’m honestly tired of feeling like I need permission to experience adulthood.

I also understand that lying about where I’m staying could damage my mom’s trust in me, and I don’t want my cousin or her mom getting dragged into the situation.

At the same time, I don’t want to cancel my plans just because my mom wouldn’t approve of me spending the night with my boyfriend.

So here’s what I’m asking:

Is it wrong for wanting to spend the night with my boyfriend at 23 while still living with my parents?

Should I tell my mom the truth, even though I know she won’t approve?

How do I handle this situation now that my cousin’s mom has said no?

And for those who grew up with extremely strict or religious parents, how did you start making your own decisions without feeling guilty or terrified of their reactions?

I’m genuinely looking for advice because I’m stressed about this whole situation, and Saturday is getting closer.

I 26f found my boyfriend’s 27m have been dating for 3.5 years and I found his secret instagram account yesterday. So a little back story, I sometimes log into my instagram account to look at someone (who did me and my friend wrong) just to see what they’re up to. i use Safiri and don’t even down load the app, I also do this like once every 6 months. I had told my boyfriend this and we had talked about it. Yesterday I was doing this and I saw an account that looked like him…it was. It was his account where he posts constantly and has like 200 followers. He never told me or communicated this with me. Here’s the thing, a while ago I had asked him how he would feel if I started posting on instagram and he said he wouldn’t like it very much. Yet here his is, posting everything he’s doing, except the things he’s doing with me. I’m no where to be found on his instagram. Which is another thing because me and my friend had a conversation about how weird it is if boyfriends don’t post their girlfriends at all. He just sat there silently. When I brought up that I found his instagram he instantly made it private and unfollowed people. We’ve been in a pretty big argument about it since yesterday. I will say that I did guess his password and he got mad at me for logging in to it. But I feel like if you have nothing to hide (like he insists) then what’s the problem of me going through it? He has moved his stuff out but I love him so I don’t know what to do.

I’m f21 and she is f25

As of recently my girlfriend started university, she lives a bit far away from me, but we always see each other during the weekends, and recently she told me about this girl who acts very weirdly around her:

she stares at her constantly, sits beside her, or close to her, waits for her to come out of the classroom at a distance, walks slowly just so she can catch up to my gf, and once my gf is close she starts picking up the pace as well so they can walk together. In all of this, she doesn’t say a word to her, she maybe says hi sometimes but not much else.

My gf has been noticing this behavior a lot, and it happens every day, at first i just thought she was maybe looking at it the wrong way, but after coming to her uni with her, and met her, i understand completely her discomfort as she started having this behavior with me too upon discovering she was my girlfriend.

I suggested my gf to maybe confront her about it, talk to her about how her behavior makes her feel uncomfortable, but she doesn’t feel like doing that as she thinks it might hurt her feelings, and in general she has expressed that she wants nothing to do with her because of her creepy behavior, which i understand, what i’m not fine with is that because this behavior coming from the girl, my girlfriend is basically always uncomfortable in uni, i’d like to help her but i really do not know what to do.

Now, she may just be terrible at socializing and just wants to make some new friends as, afaik, she is pretty alone in uni, whats weird to me is that she only behaves like this with my gf and no one else.

On top of this, my girlfriend is transgender, which is why i’m really scared about the possibility of this girl, wanting to physically hurt my girlfriend. Trans people have been overly demonized by the media, and politicians, and every day i hear more and more about trans people getting hurt, and even worse sometimes, and i don’t wanna lose her for any reason. My gf can do whatever she wants, she can break up with me, she can cut contact, ect, but as long as she is fine and well, that’s all that matters to me. I trust her, and if anything i’m happy if she makes a new friend, hell im fine if she wants to break up to be with her, all i care about is her safety, i just want to make sure this girl doesn’t wanna hurt her without making a mess.

am i being too paranoid? How should i go about this?

My partner has COPD, has 24 hour a day oxygen, and has battled lung cancer which is okay for now. My partner is angry with me constantly and says it's my fault because I won't buy them smokes. There doctor and everyone that knows them doesn't want them to smoke. But I'm the one who has to put up with constant nastiness from them because I refuse to buy smokes for them. I love my partner but this is killing me. I want us to be happy but it's not going to happen unless I buy them smokes which I won't. So my life is not good. I just don't know what to do. It's really hard on me and I get depressed. I just want to be happy and my partner makes it difficult. My partner has schizophrenia. The reason I said they and them was so hopefully I'm not giving away who we are.

Reddit please help.

For context I’m a male in his early 20’s.

My mom is trying to force herself into my therapy sessions. For the purpose of «helping» or having an overview of a situation that’s not getting better.

If I refuse she thinks I’m hiding something from her. That I told something that I don’t want her to know etc. to the therapist. She starts to become highly suspicious.

I understand where she’s coming from. She wants to help I think and I’m nothing but an emotional shut in that’s barely functional enough to eat, sleep and shit and that’s it. I rot in my bed. I could never make friends and I’m burnt out from just existing since I was 12.

I recently told my therapist I may have Asperger Syndrome and asked for an assessment, he agreed and said we should do that. When I told my mom long before that I may have it, she exploded, screamed at me and tried to deny it, she couldn’t accept it. Jumped from the dinner table all the way to the living room with open eyes.

Eventually she came to accept it, that I may have it.. after telling her all the stuff from my childhood, teenage years and it was undeniable and she just looked sad, BUT she said I can’t tell the therapist AT ALL, or mention asperger. She also had a sad face for the rest of the day. I decided to get the help I needed, and I’m confident I can get the diagnosis without her presence.

The problem is, she wants to know what me and my therapist are talking about now and where we are. She let me go alone two times which I then took my chance and she wants to go with me again.

What would you do in this situation? She doesn’t know.