Me and my ex have been broken up for 3 months now. She posted a screenshot on TikTok of a text I sent her the last time I reached out. The text said “ can you give me a call please” I last reached out 2 weeks ago after seeing her in public for the first time since we broke up. She’s posted about me on social media multiple times since the breakup including making a whole TikTok about ignoring me. It hurts really bad seeing her use my hurt for content and that she thinks it’s funny. But at the same time it’s helping me move on because I’m realizing that I’ll never give her the relationship a chance in the future again now because I don’t want to be with someone that immature and petty.

Your ex blocked you for a reason. They didn’t lose your number by accident. They simply do not want you in their life. It’s a tough pill to swallow, I know. I’ve been on the other end of it. But as the partner of someone dealing with an ex who is practically STALKING him, please… just leave us alone.

Your empty apologies and platitudes aren’t welcome. They’re disrespectful to my partner (the person you supposedly care about—though he finds them more disrespectful to me which makes you disgusting in his eyes), degrading to yourself, and frankly—desperate. It’s sad that even after more than a year you can’t get your own life.

Or perhaps you’re such a narcissist you only see your ex as someone to fill your needs and don’t even consider their own wants, desires, or happiness? He wants a home, a family, stability.

In a broader sense: leave your exes alone. They left you for a reason. Their blocking you isn’t a coincidence.

I’ve been stuck in a constant cycle of going back and forth between trying to fight for my relationship and repeatedly texting my ex because I wasn’t ready to let go.

I kept thinking that if I could just explain myself better, show her how much I cared, or prove that I was willing to change, maybe things could be different. I wanted the opportunity to work through our problems together instead of feeling like the relationship ended before I could prove that I was capable of growing.

I won’t lie. I felt discarded. I felt like I wasn’t given the chance I wanted to make things right, and that was incredibly difficult to accept.

But looking back, I’ve started to realize something important: even when your intentions are genuine, repeatedly reaching out can put a heavy emotional burden on your ex.

I was fortunate to have someone who was understanding and mature enough to communicate her boundaries with me. But that doesn’t mean my repeated attempts to talk things through weren’t exhausting for her. She was trying to move forward, while I was still trying to find a way to hold on.

When you’re hurting, it’s easy to convince yourself that one more text will make a difference. You think that if you can just say the right thing, they’ll finally understand how much the relationship meant to you. Sometimes, though, you’re not giving them space to process anything because you’re too focused on getting an answer that will ease your own pain.
No contact is hard, especially when you still love that person. It can feel like you’re doing nothing while the relationship slips further away. You might worry that they’ll forget you, move on, or never understand how much you cared.

And if I’m being honest, a part of me still wants her to come back. I still wish things had worked out differently, and I sometimes catch myself hoping that one day we might get another chance. I’m not going to pretend those feelings have disappeared just because I’m trying to move forward.

But I also know I can’t put my life on hold waiting for something that may never happen. For now, it’s better for me to focus on learning, growing, and becoming a better version of myself—not to prove something to her or guarantee that she’ll return, but because I owe that to myself.

No contact isn’t supposed to be a strategy to make your ex miss you or come back. It’s an opportunity for both people to have space, process what happened, and begin moving forward without the constant pressure of another conversation.

You can still love someone and respect their decision. You can wish you had another chance and accept that you can’t force one. You can feel like you were never given the opportunity to prove yourself and still recognize that repeatedly asking for that opportunity won’t create mutual willingness.

I’m still working through this myself, and I’m not pretending it’s easy. I still have regrets, and I still wish things had turned out differently.

But if you’re in that same cycle right now, take it from someone who’s been there: you don’t have to keep texting someone to prove that you love them.
Sometimes, the hardest thing you can do is stop reaching out, respect their boundaries, and give both of you the space you haven’t been able to give yourselves.

Not because you stopped caring, and not because you’ve completely given up hope, but because you can’t build your future around a possibility you don’t control. For now, learn from what happened, grow at your own pace, and let the future unfold without trying to force it.

I read a lot of these posts and I feel like there’s something different about how I’m processing this break up. It happened a month ago and I haven’t a single second of like “is this the right choice?” Or missing him. I feel mad. Like actually mad. I’m so angry that he chose his avoidance and shame over me. I’m so angry he knew that he was making me miserable and still did it. I’m so angry he always chose to defend his intent over just seeing me as the girl he loves (allegedly) expressing a need. He kept me at arms length and now can’t understand how I’m so good without him, not realizing that he quite literally showed me how to be without him. I spent so much time in that relationship feeling so alone. He could only show up for me as long as I wasn’t upset about something he did.

I spent so much time biting my tongue because he was so quick to say I’m starting an argument or tone police me. If he reaches out now I just get so angry and want to let out all the things I never said. That makes me EVEN MORE MAD because when I’m mad suddenly he becomes calm, like he’s so mature and then I look like I’m the crazy one

I'm 29M. I met my ex-wife in May 2017, married her in December 2018, and our divorce was finalized earlier this month. We spent almost nine and a half years together, nearly eight of those married. I found out about her infidelity a little over four months ago, and it's been one hell of an emotional roller coaster since.

And it wasn't just the two of us. She had a young son when we met, and I helped raise him for almost nine years. We were a family. I had a wife, a child I was raising, a home, and an entire life built around the three of us.

But something has changed drastically over the last week or two. I went from constantly ruminating, dealing with intrusive thoughts, and feeling overwhelmed by everything that happened to suddenly realizing that I genuinely feel indifferent toward her. I don't hate her, I don't miss her, and I don't want her back. It's almost like my mind finally decided to let go.

But here's the strange part. That realization brought a completely different kind of sadness.

I started thinking about how almost nine and a half years of my life, of having a wife, raising a child, being a family, sharing a home, routines, holidays, memories, and an entire life together, now feel like nothing more than a distant dream. Almost like none of it ever happened.

And it's honestly such a crazy, sad feeling.

It wasn't just a relationship that ended. It was an entire family dynamic, an entire way of living. For years, I came home to a wife and a child. There were everyday routines, family moments, responsibilities, and memories that made up my entire world. And now, looking back, all of it feels so distant that sometimes it's hard to believe that was actually my life.

I'm not sad because I want her back. I'm sad because it's heartbreaking to think that so many years of your life can eventually feel like they never even existed.

It's strange what the mind does as we heal and move forward. And it's equally strange how life can take something that was once such a huge part of your world and turn it into a distant memory.

I guess I'm realizing that sometimes healing comes with its own kind of sadness. Not sadness over wanting the relationship back, but sadness over realizing that an entire chapter of your life, an entire family life, is truly gone.

Has anyone else experienced this? That strange feeling where you're finally over the person, but looking back at all those years, the family you had, and the life you built feels like remembering a dream you woke up from?

We dated for about ten months during our senior year of college. We were young, intense, and imperfect. He could be controlling, and we had real problems, but I loved him deeply. I felt safer and softer with him than I’ve ever felt with anyone else.

We broke up in 2020, after he got into a fully funded graduate program in Tennessee. During COVID, he had an internship in Texas, and I flew out twice, for two weeks each time, to stay with him in a tiny, cramped motel room so we could keep the relationship going and talk about our options. We shared a bed, a kitchen, a bathroom, and his car. Before he left for his program, he let me know he wouldn’t do long distance. He said I could move with him, or we could break up. At the time, I had no car or license, no job, and no real safety net. Moving across the country to depend on him didn’t feel safe.

What still hurts is that he treated my decision not to move as proof that I didn’t love him enough to choose him. He said that when we broke up, and he said it again during our recent conversation. It feels like all the ways I had shown up for him were erased.

We recently reconnected, and I initiated. At first, he seemed more interested in walking down memory lane and reminiscing than having a direct conversation about what we might be now. He was soft-flirting with me, browsing my IG pics, playing the 'remember-when' game. He was very guarded with me in the two convos we had, while I was open with him. I directly pointed out his attempts at getting me to answer his harder questions while he dodged mine. I eventually told him I was still in love with him and wanted to see whether there could be a future for us.

When he realized I was serious, he his tone shifted and he answered plainly. He said he wasn’t emotionally available and could only offer friendship with no expectations. He also asked that we essentially lock away the ten months we dated and not bring them up, even as a way of understanding who we are now. I told him I couldn’t do friendship while I still had romantic feelings, so I’d need space.

I don’t think he was simply being cruel or indifferent. He sounded overwhelmed and wary of restarting something intense, especially with our history. He said he didn’t want to make promises he couldn’t keep or rush into dating, and that friendship without expectations was the only thing he could manage. He also seemed to still carry hurt about the way we broke up and my not moving with him. I can understand that he had fears and his own experience of the breakup, even though I don’t agree with his conclusion that I didn’t love him enough.

I’m not confused about whether there were problems or whether walking away was the right choice. He could be controlling, and I know I made the safer decision back then. But I’m still heartbroken. I loved him, I showed up for him, and part of me believed that if we ever met again as adults, we might finally be able to build something together.

I think I’m grieving not only him, but the future I carried around for six years. I thought I’d be his wife and oldest friend, have his kids, share more experiences, and just be in love. I also keep replaying the conversation and thinking about all the things I didn’t say. Not because I wanted to beg him to take me back, but because I wanted him to understand what he was turning down. I know his answer wouldn’t necessarily have changed, and I didn’t want to pressure him into choosing me. Still, there’s a part of me that wishes I’d said everything.

I don’t need anyone to tell me he was perfect or that I should go back. I just need to talk to people who understand how you can know someone wasn’t right for you and still grieve them this hard.

I know I have to move forward. I’m not asking how to get him back. I’m trying to process that the answer is no.

i miss you so much. i dont want to reach out though because im scared. its all so complex. because i think i am owed an apology.

My ex is the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on. She is absolutely gorgeous, and I fell in love with every single part of her. Not a single flaw on her, even though she would argue to the death about me saying that. And now I just don't see any other women as attractive in any way. Am I weird? Is this just heartbreak? She's everything I ever wanted, and I don't want anything but her..

Broke up with my girlfriend of almost 2 years last week because I just felt like we weren’t compatible anymore unfortunately, we just see things completely different and hardly have any common interests. Today I was feeling bored and decided to check her instagram (which I never use) and come to find out she’s been in another relationship with someone for a whole 7 years. On her ig story she’s wishing her main boyfriend I guess happy 7th anniversary. I’m so fucking lost for words it’s almost comical.

I wanted to apologize for suffocating you at times. This was my first romantic relationship, so I didn’t really know what to do, and I ended up suffocating you. I thought I had already improved in that regard, but I realize there were still things I needed to work on. Miss our talks, miss your presence and miss you entirely

I’ve been moving on with my life, but I’ve also been thinking about everything that happened and learning a lot from this experience. If I had had a romantic relationship before, maybe things between us would be different now, and we would be okay. Even so, you were the person I wanted to be with, and I still believed in what we could achieve as a couple. I also always believed that you were a good person and the right one for me.

Despite everything, I want to thank you for the moments we shared and for helping me through a difficult period in my life. You were important to me, and I’ll carry many good memories of what we had with me.

I hope life treats you well, just as you made me smile, and that everything good comes your way. Fairwell my love

Since the breakup I have barely eaten. It’s been a few days and my appetite and drive within me has gone. Everything fell apart so quick now I’m left with nothing. Really really struggling. Any advice at all?

I just need to rant about this because I’m so mad right now. So me and my ex decided to give our relationship another try. We had a long conversation about boundaries, mental health, attachment styles, trauma and all the other stuff. Everything seemed to be going well. About a week into us being back together, we decided to get intimate. This happened two days ago. We went on a date, had dinner, watched a movie and one thing led to another. At the time I didn’t feel anything was wrong with it, it was a really good night and when he dropped me off home he said he had a great time and can’t wait to see me again. The next day (yesterday) I don’t hear shit from him… I send him a good morning text, he doesn’t get back to me until 1pm. He says he barely slept that night, had a lot of work to get done and was struggling. I’m like OKAY, makes sense, he’s tired I’ll give him space. But the ENTIRE day goes by and I don’t hear anything else from him!!! No good night texts, check ins, asking if I’m okay, nothing! Which is weird because we were talking pretty much everyday, all day before we had sex on Sunday. And this is not the first time he’s had an exhausting day, but every other time, he still talked to me as if there was no issue. So how was I supposed to know yesterday would be any different? I don’t mind giving my partner space if they need it, but a direct message saying something like “hey I’m having a hard day and may not talk as much but I’m still thinking of you” would’ve made me feel more secure. But anyways, after we had a great night together, all of a sudden he goes non verbal? It’s weird. Now it’s the next day (today) and I still haven’t heard anything from him in almost 24 hours. This makes me incredibly frustrated because I honestly feel like he just used me for sex. Which is very heartbreaking because I have sexual trauma related to this exact same scenario that I’ve expressed to him multiple times. I don’t like being viewed as a sex object, I’ve dealt with men that have looked at me like this before, which is why I only have sex with people I truly love and feel an emotional connection to. And I feel like he took advantage of this… that’s what hurts the most. I don’t feel like he loves me, let alone cares about me to have done something like this.

I (34F) was in a 5 year relationship with someone (33M) I planned to marry and have kids with. I thought we were building a future together and he said we were. Unfortunately, his actions suggested otherwise. He avoided conversations about the future, couldn’t engage in conflict, he was resisting spending time together and poured all of his time and energy into his friends and hobbies. Although I loved him, I was extremely lonely and felt the relationship was no longer progressing into something further. Looking back, I think he was just an emotionally immature Peter Pan guy and wasn’t ready to grow up.

We broke up a year ago and I’m still struggling. I’m taking my time to heal and haven’t been dating at all and don’t feel ready. However, I feel so much pressure to find someone to settle down with because I’m very aware I do not have infinite time to have kids. I am feeling resentful of my situation and how my ex can take several years to figure out his life and maybe eventually have kids with a younger woman. It’s incredibly unfair and I feel like I hold all of the consequences of this failed relationship.

Anyway, I never thought this would be my situation. I sympathize with other women going through this and feeling like they are running out of time. It’s so hard.

Hi! So me (20F) and ex (NB21) broke up about a week and a half ago. The reason is because they feel that they might not be sexually attracted to women, there was no big fight or disagreement or really any falling out at all. This is why I'm not incredibly heartbroken over the breakup and initially said yes to being friends when they asked me to. However, we hung out for the first time as friends yesterday and I found it made me quite sad. I realized that, even though I do not have romantic feelings for them anymore, I haven't really gotten over the emotional pain that our relationship caused me. However, they are very interested in a friendship, even expressing the desire to become BEST friends. I'm not completely opposed to that, and I would even like to be close with them in the future! I just feel as if they're moving on weirdly too fast and my emotions are getting played with as a result. Feels kinda bad man :(

Do I express my feelings and tell them this? I was just thinking something along the lines of "hey, sorry if i seemed sad or rude yesterday. i think i'm a little more hurt than i initially realized and i need a little more time to process those feelings before becoming close again." Or... do I just let silence do the talking? Do they even deserve this explanation?? Should I say how I feel, or should I just be 'chill' and not say anything? Honestly I'm very confused on how to proceed with this situation as I am inevitably going to see them this upcoming weekend in a group setting. Any advice is greatly appreciated :)

My ex and I were together for several years, and I genuinely thought we’d get married. Toward the end, he became extremely avoidant, stopped initiating affection or quality time, and whenever I brought up issues, he’d say he couldn’t deal with them because he was too stressed.

He eventually broke up with me, repeatedly insisting he didn’t love me enough and that I should move on and find someone else. I was devastated. I fought for our relationship and literally begged him to try, but he made me feel unloved and disposable.

For months, I cried myself to sleep, prayed we’d find our way back, checked my phone constantly, and could barely function. I was in therapy twice a week and sometimes couldn’t even bring myself to go to work.

Eventually, about four months after the breakup, I went on vacation. For the first time in months, I was distracted and wasn’t thinking about him 24/7. I felt normal again. While I was there, I met someone and slept with him. It was a meaningless. Part of me genuinely wanted the experience, and part of me was trying to escape the heartbreak. I enjoyed it in the moment, but afterward, I realized casual sex isn’t really for me and isn’t something I’d choose to repeat.

Five months post-breakup, my ex reached out saying he missed me and was hurting. When we met to talk, he admitted that telling me he didn’t love me enough had been an intentional lie. He claimed he wanted me to hate him so it would be easier for him to leave without guilt.

Then, he told me he imagined getting his life together and eventually winning me back in the future. He hoped I might still be there waiting, even though he never communicated that. For once, in months, I felt hope and a sense of relief.

But then, when he found out I’d slept with someone on vacation, he flipped. He said he didn’t think I was "the type of person" to sleep with someone random, and threw it in my face that I was "having fun" while he was hurting. After giving him my loyalty for YEARS, it felt like blatant slut-shaming.

When I pointed out that I had watched him go out with other people and assumed he was moving on just like he told me to, his response was:
“Well, I didn’t. I still love you.”
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?

He literally told me to my face that he didn't love me enough and instructed me to find someone else. He never once asked me to wait or hinted that he wanted to reconcile. If he had simply been honest and said, “I love you, but I need time to sort my life out, so please don't see anyone else,” I would have gladly waited. Instead, he chose to break my heart with a lie.

I understand that retroactive jealousy stings, and he’s entitled to feel uncomfortable. But he ended our relationship, told me to move on, and is now treating me like damaged goods???!

Am I wrong for feeling like this is INSANELY unfair? How was I supposed to honor an unspoken loyalty test he never communicated, especially after he explicitly told me he didn't love me?

It’s officially been one month since my boyfriend (26m) and I (26f) broke up. As a recap we had been together for a year and a half, and we became distant in the last six months of our relationship. Other than that, our relationship was the most healthiest that either of us have ever been in. We moved pretty quickly and moved in with each other six months into dating. We were so in love in both thought that we were each other’s soulmates and that we had found our person. We talked about our future together and the life we would have and marriage. Looking back it was probably the last six months of our relationship where he started to pull away. I didn’t realize it was just him. I thought it was just a lull in our relationship. I did reach out to him multiple times telling him how I missed him and that I wanted to start dating each other again as we had stopped doing that. The Spark had definitely gone out, but it wasn’t anything that I didn’t think we could fix. I don’t think I overwhelmed him or tried suffocating him more. If anything. I also took a step back myself. I didn’t want to push him away. Then one random Saturday he sent me down and told me that he didn’t miss me and wasn’t sure if you saw a future with me anymore and wasn’t sure if he was still in love with me. It was sad and we cried, and we went our separate ways. Over the last month we’ve stayed in contact here and there because of logistical reasons as we share two cats together and he had to move out. Every time I’ve seen him in the last month, which has been three times he has become more distant and cold. This last time I saw him I felt like he couldn’t even look in my direction. He’s acting like I never matter to him. He isn’t being mean like calling names, but he’s definitely disrespecting me and I know he doesn’t owe me anything, but it would still be nice for my feelings to be considered especially because we did leave on good terms it just wasn’t the right time and I let him leave without a fight. Now here we are one month into the breakup and he is officially no longer the person that I thought I knew. We had something coming up that we had planned together well before our break up that he promised he would go to with me and now he is bailing on me last minute and truly doesn’t seem to care at all. I know he loved me once and cared for me deeply, but now it just seems like I never mattered to him which I imagine is just him being avoidant so that he doesn’t have to feel but it still hurts knowing someone that said that they wanted to marry you is now treating you like you don’t matter. Has anyone had an experience like this? How did you get through it? Because he’s not a bad person I know that and he is obviously struggling and I’d like to think that one day I will get an apology for how he treated me in the end.

idk how to move on and i hate that i have to force myself to move on because it seems like they don’t care anymore, like there’s no chance of us getting tgt in the future anymore :( any kind of advice pls

Have you ever found your way back to someone you thought you'd lost forever?

Check out r/ReconciliationTales for stories about second chances, exes reconnecting, broken friendships being repaired, and people finding their way back to each other.

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I'm a male. Last year on May 3rd, I lost my job. On May 10th, I lost my dad who I loved so much.

This year in June, my female partner of 11 years (Long distance for all those years) notified me she wanted me to give her a break. (We have 2 children: 3year old boy & 16 year old girl)

She cited my poor grooming( I admit, we have had numerous fights about it) and apparent lack of financial trust (because I asked her for my daughter's school contacts because I wanted clarification on how much her fees was) as the reasons for the break.

We kept in touch via text. (We were texting everyday) but her tone shifted drastically from June to October 4th to someone who had emotionally checked out. She even told me that if I wanted to see my kids, we would meet at a hotel in town for me to see them. That HURT me so much.

On October 4th, I got tired of being hurt by her emotional apathy and I haven't texted her since the 5th.

I have so many questions:

1. How can a woman who you share 2 kids want a breakup? Doesn't family mean anything?

2. It's painfully obvious she's seeing someone else. Is there a man willing to take in a woman with 2 kids already? I thought men preferred to start a fresh?

3. How can she dump me despite knowing all the mental shit I'm still going through? I could NEVER dump her under similar circumstances!!

4. It's obvious whoever she's now seeing is financially better off than me. Should I leave her alone so that the new guy can raise my kids?

5. My dad left rental properties, so I'm not financially bad off. In fact, I'm getting twice what I used to get monthly while employed. She KNOWS this. How can she leave me despite knowing I'm financially capable of raising our kids and her comfortably??

6. While I'm counting my no contact days, (24) is she even thinking of me?

SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER ME. I'M COMPLETELY DEVASTATED. MY FAMILY WAS MY EVERYTHING.

Is it stupid to reach out to request a closure conversation that you never got to have? It has been 6 months since the breakup and I am not even near being over it. I want to talk about it. I’ve asked before and got ignored but I want to ask again. I don’t understand why we can’t have a simple conversation and it’s making it harder for me to get over the situation without the conversation.